Team Fortress: The Regroup

by Otaku250

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Queen Chrysalis, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore
Length: 5733

Team Fortress of the RED team are called back to do one final mission for anthro ponies.

Equestria is in danger, and Princess Celestia knows exactly what to do. By the combine powers of the 4 princesses and the elements of harmony, the land of Equestira will be saved from impending doom. Just one problem... the changelings don't want that to happen. With the saviors of the land needing to conduct this powerful and time consuming spell in a castle far from civilization, you have to wonder... who can protect them from invasions. Well, the answer will be shocking.

Edited by: SilverKuriboh

Published 2015-02-16 02:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-24 17:10:39 UTC

"I am Heavy Weapons Guy"

Author's Note

Yup... A TF2 fic..... sue me

"I am Heavy Weapons Guy"

It was a beautiful night in the city of Canterlot, mostly thanks to the princess of the night, Luna. Strangely, the princess of the day, Celestia, was still up at this hour, along with a few other subjects. Celestia's pupil, Twilight Sparkle, was sitting with her friends, or the elements of harmony. Their names are AppleJack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. Also with them was Celestia's sister Luna and Princess Cadence, the princess of love and Celestia'a niece. Right next to her was Gleaming Shield, Twilight's big sister and Cadence's wife.

"Sister, are you sure this is a good idea?" Luna asked with uncertainty in her voice.

"Yes sister, with all our combined magic and time, we can end the possibility of Equestria being destroyed by mother nature." Celetia said with a calm tone,

"Princess... if I may interject." Twilight said.

"Go on Twilight." Celestia said as everypony drew their attention to her.

"W-Well, I understand that this spell will take a lot of time for its effects to work, but I have to ask, what do we need protection from?" asked Twilght as her friends nodded in agreement. Princess Celestia took a moment to breath and prepare her "team" for what they are facing.

"The Changelings." as she said this, everyone gave grave looks, mostly Cadence and Gleaming Shield.

"So why can't we bring guards to fend them off if they do anything?" asked Rainbow dash as she folded her blue coated arms.

"I agree with RD, my guards are more than capable of taking them." Gleaming Shield protested, but calmed down when her wife puts a reassuring palm on her shoulders.

"While I understand that, the Changelings are much more determined to make sure this spell doesn't go uninterrupted. Therefore, I have asked help from a different source." Celestia said as clapping could be heard from behind her.

"I couldn't say it any better princess." everypony turned to see a strange creature unlike anypony they have ever seen. It had no fur except for on its head and upper lips. It wore a red suit and had a masculine voice. "Now before I get attacked, I am nothing more but a simple advertiser for my company. I believe that we can help you out if you let us." the man said with a sneer.

"Sister... who is this?" Luna asked her sister with a confused expression.

"This man is a human, we've been discussing ever since this issue's been around. Mr. Freeman says he has a team that could protect us from the outside of a castle I've arranged for the spell." Celestia explained as the human leaned on her chair, causing some hostile looks to be sent his way.

"Indeed I do, they're the best mercs this side of the universe." Mr. Freeman exclaimed as he jumped on the table. Everypony in the room was off put by this man's excited demeanor... except for Pinkie Pie, who was giggling. "In fact, let me get one of them for you" Mr. Freeman then jumped off the table and went to the door. Everypony except Celestia seemed concerned about what was happening.

"Auntie Celestia, are you sure we can trust our safety to hired guns?" Cadence asked as Celestia kept her eyes glued to the door.

"These mercenaries are my only option Cadence, they apparently can do unnatural feats unlike regular ponies. Trust me my little ponies, I wasn't going to ask for their help, but drastic times call for drastic measures." Everypony in the room looked worried for the princess of the sun, she wasn't the same ever since the news. After the fight with Sombra, he cast a spell that rendered the land of Equestria in a limited state of peril. Soon the land would begin to lose grass and flowers. Then the rivers would drought and the sky would become poisonous. That kind of environment would be perfect for the Changelings, so trying to rejuvenate the land would be something they would not take kindly to.

Just then, footsteps were heard. The ponies looked back to the door to see another human walking towards them. This human was big, massive even. It had no hair on its head, but had a slight stubble on its face. It wore red like Mr. Freeman, but not a suit. It was a red shirt with emblems on its sleeve's that resembled fists. Over the red shirt was a simple black vest with strange cylinder-like objects wrapped over his shoulder. The human looked at the ponies with its blue eyes, not at all startled by the creatures. Celestia was the first to speak after everypony got an eyefull of the bizarre human.

"Would you like a seat Mr..." Celestia said as she magically conjured a chair for the large human. The human took a seat and grunted before speaking to Celestia.

"Name is classified, but most refer to me as Heavy." The human spoke with a very thick and masculine accent. Most of the ponies in the room were a little off put from the way this man held himself, not even bothering to acknowledge a princess in a formal way.

"Do you go by any other names?" Celestia asked, hoping to address the man with something more... appropriate.

"I am Heavy weapons guy." Heavy said, emphasizing on "weapons guy" to answer her previous question.

"Forgive me for asking... Heavy, but I believed I was promised a team."

"Heavy has team, team not as big as Heavy, but team makes up for little short comings that Heavy may have. One little baby makes up for unrequired talking. Other baby does the drinking. Basically, Heavy is one man army, but has little babies that do extra things. Any questions?" Heavy asked the room of anthropomorphic ponies. Pinkie Pie launched her hand straight into the air as Heavy caught her in his eye. "Pink pony thing, what is question?"

"Is your team really a bunch of babies? That's sooooooo cute." Pinkie said as she clapped her hands together. This earned a hearty laugh from Heavy, clearly amused by the pink pony's antics.

"N-No, but compared to Heavy, they might as well." Heavy said, still chuckling along with Pinkie. Applejack was the next to raise her hand. "Orange pony thing, you have question as well?"

"What exactly do you an' yer team do exactly?" Applejack asked, not trusting Heavy one bit.

"We are payed by you to destroy enemies." Heavy said as he clutched his fists together. Fluttershy meekly raised her hand. "Little yellow wing pony, question?"

"W-W-What do you mean by d-d-destroy?" Fluttershy said, scared to hear the answer.

"Kill, suffocate, and blow up if possible." Heavy said proudly, but got confused when Fluttershy fainted at his response. Cadence raised her hand as most of Fluttershy's friends went to her aid. "Pink winged and horned pony thing, your question as yellow thing is unconscious?"

"Um, what country are you from in your world? It's just that you have a very thick accent." Cadence asked as Fluttershy came to.

"Heavy comes from Russia, home to Moskow and Stalingrad." This immediately clicked in everypony's head, reminding them of such cities like Stalliongrad and Moshoof. Rainbow dash decided to raise her hand next. "Blue winged pony thing, last question, then Heavy needs to sleep."

"How does one get a body of that caliber." Rainbow asked with some cheekiness in her voice, which was met with some glares from her friends.

"Heavy ate bear meat as he grew, but now I am on strict diet of the sandvich." he said as he pulled out a sandwich from nowhere. He proceeded to eat the sandwich contently as the ponies watched him, ever so confused as to how a man like him could exist.

"Well, we appreciate you coming here Heavy, will we see your team at the location with us?" Celestia asked calmly.

"We will be there before you and pony team, need to prep for our advantage. It was nice meeting business... but Heavy needs beauty sleep." with that said, Heavy got up without another word and exited the room. It was quiet for a long time until Rarity spoke up.

"Twilight, im suprised, I thought you would have bombarded that thing with questions." Rarity asked her friend.

"Oh I have questions... but I want to see the rest of his team."

Meet the Team

Lush green fields and big trees, those were the things Celestia liked to see on her land where her little ponies roamed. She, her sister, her niece, her niece's wife, and the elements of harmony were off to a built castle to try and possibly save the land. Celestia knew that the Changelings would try to stop them, but wondered if the hired guns would be able to push them back. Mr. Freeman had told her that they were composed of only 9 members, but apparently could hold off a group of trained soldiers solo. She could only imagine the pure carnage that all 9 of them could cause. Soon she felt a slight tug on her shoulder from one of her star pupils friends, Fluttershy.

"P-Princess." She squeaked with hesitation and slight fear. "A-Are you sure these ponies won't hurt us?" Celestia knew that the big human who went by "Heavy" had scared her comrades. Although, in the case of Twilight Sparkle, she was preparing an onslaught of questions for these humans. Despite such, Celestia put on her best warm smile and looked at the frighten Pegasus.

"Fluttershy, these humans will not hurt us, only protect us from any attacking forces." Celestia said calmly. Fluttershy, not wanting to question the princess any further, calmed down. Applejack wrapped her arm around her for extra comfort. The rest of the crew were more concerned about what they're leaving behind for this mission.

"I hope Spike will be okay managing the library alone." Twilight said as she remembered her dragon assistant.

"I just only hope the guards stick to their routine." Gleaming Shield grimaced as she thought of her guards slacking off. Cadence only chuckled at her wife's seriousness and held her hand to calm her. Rainbow Dash was just flying with her back to the ground as she stared at the clouds. Rarity and Luna were conversing on their shared interest in gossip amongst other ponies. Pinkie... well, she was being her usual self.

"I wouldn't be too concerned about your guards Gleaming." Luna said after some time passed. "From what I understand, we'll have guards at this castle, sister?" Luna looked at her sister, hoping for some clarification on the matter.

"Yes Luna, I've made sure we had some protection in case the people I hired can't make the cut." Celestia said, wondering if that possibility should be considered.

"I would not think that if I were you, mademoiselle." a voice said. The party of anthropomorphic ponies stopped dead in their tracks and prepared for the worst. Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight had their magic ready for combat. Gleaming Shield unsheathed her sword and held it up in a defensive position. Applejack and Rainbow dash held up their fists ready to knock a Changeling out. Fluttershy and Rarity hid behind the two respectively. Pinkie Pie pulled out some kind of animal made of a balloon. The voice just snickered as a mysterious red smoke appeared over a big and short stump. The ponies looked at the stump and wondered what the smoke was from.

A man came into view as the smoke dissipated. He was skinnier than Heavy but concealed most of his face with a red ski mask. He wore a red suit with a white undershirt and had black gloves and shoes. There was a cylindrical object in his mouth that emitted a small smoke from the tip. The mares were perplexed at this strange creature, it looked like a human and had a masculine voice. However, their lack of knowledge about humans didn't help them figure out how this human turned invisible.

The human jumped off the stump and walked towards the group with his cylinder object in hand. Gleaming went in front of her compatriots and held her sword at the human. The human snickered, dropped his cylinder object on the ground, and snuffed it out with his foot.

"Your mere sword will not do good against me mlle guerrier." this human said while staring at the sword. Gleaming kept it pointed at the human as he simply looked at her with minor annoyance.

"Captain Shield, lower your weapon." Celestia commended, hoping Gleaming would listen. She did, though reluctantly, and the human smiled mockingly. "Are you with Team Fortress?" Celestia asked hopefully.

"Oui, and I believe you are the party we are protecting." The male human stated.

"Yes, I am-"

"No time mon cher, we must make it the safe zone post haste!"

"Can we at least get your name?"

"You may call me the Spy." and with that said the Spy lead the mares to the castle. As they made their way to the castle, many of the ponies were wondering about the man leading them. Twilight was trying to contain her barrage of questions she needed to ask about the man. The rest were simply wondering why such a man, who carried an array of sophistication with him, was part of a team of killers. Spy was determined to get the mares to the destination, whether he had to kill in front of them or not. Despite that, he still avoided the dirt and hanging twigs, his suit was probably worth more than his winning hidden complexion.

It took quite some time, but the group made it to the safe zone without any interruptions. Spy took a deep breath and sighed before turning his attention to the mares.

"I am sorry to have rushed you, but Mr. Freeman made it very clear that you all should be safe in case of an attaque." Spy said as he held out his hand for a shake. Celestia was the first to oblige his request and shook his hand gently.

"It is nice to make your acquaintance Mr. Spy, I am-"

"Princess Celestia, along with your sœur princess Luna, your niece Cadence, your student Twilight Sparkle, and her five friends. Ah, and let's not forget the threatening knight and wife of your niece, Gleaming Shield." exclaimed the Spy, referring to Gleaming in a mocking tone.

"How do you know us!" Gleaming shouted as she tried to draw her sword. Cadence put her hand on her lover's shoulder, which calmed the situation.

"I'll have you know Mr. Spy, my wife is an excellent fighter and has improved the performance of our guards tenfold." Cadence explained, giving Gleaming a wink as she did so.

"Oh, I was not making fun of your wife, I was merely having a rire." Spy chuckled. "Enough dawning on the past, we should head up to the château." Spy stated as he lead them towards the castle.

"E-Excuse me, Spy was it?" Twilight asked as she caught up to the masked human.

"Yes." Spy said.

"Well, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?"

"Of course."

"So, how did you know about us?"

"Me and my cohorts came out here a week in advance after the deal was made. I did not want to take in the wonderful scenery just yet, so I requested a few books to be delivered."

"I see, well, do your species usually turn invisible?"

"What? Nononono, we humans cannot turn invisible, the only way I did so was with this." He showed her a special watch on his wrist. Twilight was confused, most watches she's seen had hands to tell the time. Spy's watch didn't look like it told time; hell, it didn't look it could do anything.

"So a watch in the human world turns them invisible?" she asked innocently,

"No, this is a spécial watch, one of a kind, the kind only a lot of money could buy."

"Pardon me, sir." interjected Rarity with an interested tone. "If I may be so bold to ask, how is that you, a man who carries himself well and wears what seem to be designer clothes, be part of a team of brutish killers."

Spy chuckled at the white mare, her reminding him of a curious french girl. "I thank you for the compliments milady. Honestly, being an aristocrat from France, you'd think I would be near politics. However, my backstabbing skills outweigh my silver tongue." Spy finished with a slight chuckle.

"France? Like Prance?"

"Yes, I believe your 'Prance' is like my world’s France"

"I knew I heard some of your words before, I must say, I didn't think humanity has the same countries as we."

"Did you say back scratching?" Pinkie interrupted cheerfully, somehow walking even though she was bending her back down and her neck up as she looked at Spy.

"No, backstabbing." Spy took out a strange rectangular black object. He spun it around and stopped, revealing a sharp metal knife. "The point of being the spy is to stay concealed, scope out your cible, and... STAB!" He swung his knife down with force on his non-real target. Fluttershy whimpered as she looked at the pure killing intent on his face. Spy put his knife away and straightened his tie. "Now then, I believe we are close." he looked forward to see the medium sized wood cabin he and his team were staying at.

Spy halted the mares and stood still for a couple minutes. His eyes analyzed the surroundings, capturing every minute detail. He grabbed an objected stranger than his knife and pointed it at the open grassy field. Just then, a chuckle was heard in the direction of the cabin. Spy pointed his object at the sound, only to see one of his teammates.

This human had a red shirt with overalls and a hard hat. His eyes were concealed by goggles and had a long yellow object wrapped up on his side. He walked down the slope with his knee guards intact, overlooking his comrade while stroking his stubble.

"You're a little too cautious now are ya Spy." the man said as pointed his glove hand at the masked individual.

"And you are too relaxed Engineer." the Spy retorted while his hard-hated friend chuckled. Applejack was interested in this "Engineer", having a very similar accent as the rest of her family. Engineer looked at the bundle of mares and gave them his usual chilled smile as he held his glove hand up.

"Why howdy there ma'ams, it's a pleasure to meet ya's." he said as he kept his hand held up. Celestia shook his hand like she did with Spy, but Applejack followed suite.

"Howdy there partner, didn't think we'd have other farmers in this." Applejack said, assuming this man was a farmer like herself. Engineer merely chuckled at this country pony.

"It's nice to see another country... pony I guess, but my family never really farmed." Engineer admitted as he paced around. "Ya see, I'm from a land called Texas, Bee Cave to be exact. Now sure, there's a lot of farmers, a good majority really, but my family's a little different. We have a passion for simple stuff like barbeque's and guns, but I really go for the higher things in life, specifically higher education. I'm the Engineer, I solve problems, practical problems." He finished as he held a wrench over his shoulder.

The mares were intrigued, but also confused on some of the things Engineer said. Twilight was the first to raise her hand in order to ask a question.

"Purple pony, you got something to say?" Engineer asked as he pointed his wrench to Twilight.

"Yes, Twilight by the way, but what kind of country is Texas?" she inquired innocently, only for Engineer to bust out a laughing.

"Texas ain't no country missy, it's a state in a country called the United States of America, home of the brave and free."

"Ah, I see, could I also ask what is this... 'gun' thing you speak of?" Engineer looked at Spy after Twilight finished her second question. Spy was already smoking a second circular object, who most of the mares by now figured was a cigarette, except for Pinkie, who thought it was an eclair.

"Guns do not exist here yet, I thought I went over this with all of you." Spy grumbled as he let out a puff of smoke.

"Ya probably did, but I may have been asleep" Engineer chortled, then turned to Twilight. "As for you." he pulled his trusty pistol, twirling it around as the mares stared at this alien object. "You human-pony folk may have swords and spears, so did we humans in the old days. However, this here gun is by far more effective, Spy, if you could do the honors?" Engineer exclaimed as he looked at his masked friend.

"Ugh, you owe me American." Spy mumbled as he picked up a plate from a nearby wooden table. He threw it up in the air and Engineer focused his gun on the plate. Before he could shoot, an unknown shot came from a nearby bush and destroyed the plate. The mares jumped in surprise at the destruction of the plate, Fluttershy fainting at the noise and sight. Engineer ran over to the bush and looked inside, only to laugh in relief.

"Sorry about that, just my mini-sentry!" he shouted to the group, picking up and holding this "mini-sentry". The mares backed up a little at the sight of this, though Rainbow Dash was pretty fascinated. "Uh, should I be worried about her?" Engineer pointed to the still fainted Fluttershy.

"She'll be fine there partner, she's usually one to be startled." Applejack assured while Rarity was fanning the unconscious mare.

"What is that thing?" Rainbow Dash inquired as she stared at the beeping object.

"This here is a mini-sentry, a device I made for defense. 150 full metal jacket rounds stored in this tiny little killing machine. Although, I suggest not paying much attention to this one, this is a poor mans version of my original creation." Engineer exclaimed as he placed his mini-sentry down. He looked at the cabin and pointed at a similar object as the mini-sentry, only larger in size. "That there is a regular sentry, bigger, meaner, and can be made to be a fearsome force. In fact, I was just about to." he walked over to his sentry and whacked it with a wrench. Like magic (at least to the pony's), The small sentry splits apart and got two strange rotating parts coming out of it.

"So... AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash squealed as she marveled at the beeping machine. Engineer gave a hearty laugh, knowing that he successfully impressed a different species. Suddenly, chanting was heard west from the cabin, a very patriotic chant. The group, except for the still unconscious Fluttershy, looked at the direction of the noise.

What came into view was a human male pulling a wagon with another human male on it. The man pulling the cart was adorned in a red uniform that most guard ponies wear when being honored for their deeds. Covering most this human's head was a helmet with an undone strap. He wore a strap over his right shoulder that held two circular objects in place. He had a belt that had two pouches on each side, what did they hold? It's best left unknown. His chanting echoed throughout the whole forest and carried a sense of pride.

Yankee Doodle went to town,
Riding on a pony;
He stuck a feather in his hat,
And called it macaroni.

The human male in the wagon didn't seem to mind the bellowed chanting. He simply laid on the wagon with a bottle in his hand. From what could be seen, this human also wore red with white sleeves and a protective vest. The main reason why he couldn't be woken by the chanting was probably because of his loud snoring. When they pulled up to the cabin, the chanting man lets go of the cart, walked towards Engineer, and saluted.

"We have placed your teleporters in their proper locations Engi." the man said.

"Nice work Soldier." Engineer congratulated. Soldier snickered until he spotted the group of mares staring at him.

"Are these the clients that we must protect?" Soldier asked and received nods from his two teammates. "Ah, so you are the half-human, half-pony creatures so desperately needing the assistance of our little crew. Why I may hold my tongue for the remaining months it takes for you magical things to conjure whatever demon spawn from hell you need, I request that I at least speak my mind about this whole situation." Soldier finished with a hostile tone and crossing his arms.

The mane five looked at the man indifferent on the outside, but inside they weren't appreciating his words. Luna and Gleaming were also crossed at Soldier, but they clearly showed it on their faces. Celestia and Cadence remained neutral, trying to figure out this man before making any direct communication.

"You're already doing a lot for us, we should at least let you voice your opinion." Celestia said, hoping to get some clearer reason for Soldier's aggression. Before he could speak, Spy backhanded him to his face and straightened his tie.

"Please your majesty, you do not need to listen to this américaine du chien." Spy spoke, but was shoved away by Soldier.

"Can it crouton! Now, as I was saying. I come from the United States of America, a country proud and diverse in the art of war. We have combated terrorist threats for years since we gained our independence from fat-snobby-tea sipping English kings. Now I haven't learned that much about you talking horse people, but I don't need to know about your culture when I see a severe flaw." Soldier then took out a long object with a grip from his back pouch. Before the ponies could question how such a big thing could fit in a pouch of medium size, Soldier began twirling around this object.

"This is a rocket launcher, the pinnacle of explosive fatalities. This may not be fancy remote control stationary guns, but it has something more. PASSION! See this metal plate on its side, that is a PASSIONATE metal plate. See this dent on the front of its scope, that is from a war of PASSION! What I am getting at you may ask?" Soldier paused as the mares and his two teammates waited for what his words would be. Engi and Spy assumed this was somehow going to insult the mares, considering this was the overly-patriotic American of the group. Soldier took a deep breath before he finished his speech. "I believe... we should train your guards."

Everybody-pony-and creature looked at Soldier with the most sincere of confused looks. Spy and Engi especially were wondering why there wasn't a variety of curses and insults being sent the ponies way. The mares couldn't quite think the same considering they don't know Soldier they way the two did, though they did expect some form of negativity.

"Why suggest training our castle guards... Soldier I guess?" Gleaming Shield asked.

"Your guards only carry big sticks and flimsy swords. If there was the chance that the enemy did pass our defense, guns, no, AMERICAN guns would work much better to defend." Soldier stated as he held his rocket launcher proudly.

"Eh heh, Soldier, we won't have enough guns for all dem guards up there." Engineer stated as he rubbed his hat.

"Damn... well, then will have to make Demoman teach them how to use swords properly." Soldier thought aloud as he stared as his unconscious teammate. With a closer look, the mares noticed that this Demoman had an eye patch covering his left eye. What was more noticeable was his relatively darker skin compared to the other humans. Soldier walked over to the sleeping Demoman and bent down to where his face was close to Demo's. "... WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU CROSSDRESSER!" this brought Demoman to a complete standing position as he whirled around.

"What in the bloody hell's happen'n?" Demoman shouted as he held his hands up in a defensive position.

"Attention, you English son of a bitch!" Soldier shouted to gain Demoman's attention. Demoman stood up straight and faced Soldier, glaring at him with his one eye.

"Say a'm English again and you'll be facin' a world of pain from this Scottish cyclops." Demoman threatened as he put emphasis on Scottish to get his nationality straight to Soldier. He then looked at the mares staring at him, wondering if he was still a little tipsy after his bottle of whiskey. "Ah, I guess ye be the pony creatures we be protecting." Demoman stated as he looked at each one of them.

"That's correct." Celestia stated. Demoman looked at the rest of the mares and looked back at his teammates.

"I thought they would be walkin on four legs boyos." Demoman said to his comrades.

"I already went over that they were human like." Spy stated while putting his hand to his face.

"I told you we were asleep." Engineer pointed out.

"Speaking of sleep, should we wake up that yellow one over there." Soldier asked as he pointed at Fluttershy.

"Darlings, I really think we should do something about her." Rarity said as she still fanned the unconscious Pegasus.

"Don't worry ma'am, we can take care of that." Soldier assured as he took a big breath. "MEDIC!" with those words, a rattling was heard from the cabin. The door opened, walking out was another male human with short black hair and circular bifocals. He wore a gray vest over a white shirt with a red tie tucked under. He also had dark red pants and black boots. As he exited the cabin a light shined behind him and doves flew by his shoulders.

"Vhat do you vant you laute menschen." Medic said with a thick accent, closely to Germane as far as the ponies could tell. Medic looked around to find anthropomorphic ponies, his teammates, and an unconscious yellow pony. "... Scheiße, vhat did you Narren do to our clients." Medic asked with irritation as he went back into the cabin.

"She got a little startled when I should these ponies my sentry capabilities." Engineer said with a laugh as whacked his bigger sentry. Once again, the sentry seemed to have upgraded and gained a strange square object attached to it. Before Rainbow Dash could marvel at the now more impressive gun, Medic came out with a strange backpack with a weird nozzle attached by a cord.

"Now zhen." Medic turned to look at the mares, most of which were near Fluttershy. "I am zhe Medic, my job is to heal und protect my komarade's, and vith your die erlaubnis, I vill do zhe same for your yellow friend." HE gestured to his backpack as he finished. With an exchanged look, the mane five huddled together to discuss the idea.

"What do you girls think?" Twilight asked.

"Can we really trust him?" Rainbow inquired.

"He does seem mighty suspicious to me." Applejack stated.

"I don't know darlings, he seems nice, he dresses nice too." Rarity pointed out.

"I like his accent." those were the wise words of one Pinkie Pie. As the mares were conversing, they didn't notice the doktor walking up to them.

"You know, if you vere going to discuss zhis privately, I vould have given you a room in zhe cabin." Medic said unamused. The mane five jumped up a little and blushed as Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Gleaming Shield giggled at them. "Now in all ernst, I really suggest letting me heal your friend, considering she's been unconscious for a vile." The mares decided that this would be the best course of action and nodded their heads.

Medic smiled as he collaborated with the nozzle before pointing it at Fluttershy. "Now, I must assure you zhis vill not hurt in zhe slightest... for humans, since I know nothing about your human-pony bodies, zhere is no vay to tell if this vill hurt her or not." Medic pointed out swiftly before he pushed the handle on top of the nozzle forward. A red translucent beam came out of the nozzle and surrounded Fluttershy's unconscious body. The elements were scared for their friend after Medic's quick disclaimer, Gleaming was even ready to knock him out. However, the dainty eyes of Fluttershy began to open slightly.

"W-What happened?" Fluttershy asked innocently as she looked around. Her friends all swarmed her and gave her a group hug. Medic chuckled at his success and turned off his nozzle. However, his attention was averted to princess Luna approaching him.

"If you don't mind our asking healer, what is that nozzle contraption that woke the element of kindness." Luna asked as she eyed the nozzle.

"Vell, zhis 'nozzle' as you call it, is an Erfindung I call zhe medi-gun. Zough I can't reveal zhe secret, I vill say zhis has saved more of meine teammates zhen simple first-aid kits." Medic said proudly as held his medi-gun.

"Th-Thank you for helping me." Fluttershy said silently as her friends let go of her.

"Vell, zhank you meine lieben, finally someone vith some appreciation for zhe her doktor." Medic said as he eyed his 4 teammates.

"We appreciate your work doc." Engineer said.

"Indeed." Spy agreed.

"Except when you experiment on us." Soldier said.

"And mess with our internal organs lad." Demoman added.

"Zhat vas only so ve could improve on our Leistung." Medic defended.

"And yet ah still feel me back pains from '68." Demoman said as the team engaged in a banter. The mares all watched and giggled at the antics of the five humans. Their minds were put to rest about their suspicions and could count on the mercenary's help. Things seemed to be fine until a loud voice was heard from the forest.

"MEDIC!"

Author's Note

aaaaannnnnnddddddd scene. Sorry this arrived on such a long term notice, but I promise this story will only get better.