Sapient Cupcake

by sunnypack

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1411

This is a story about Pinkie's cupcakes. They are sapient.

I wonder what I'm being made for? Pinkie calls me a cupcake. Oh look frosting!

Edited by: Word Worthy

AN: You have been duly warned of the capricious random nature of this fic. Capricious in my storytelling and random because who the heck writes a story from the cupcake's perspective?! Oh right, me.

Published 2015-01-11 07:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-11 07:00:01 UTC

1 - Stop Being Sugar And Just Be Batter

Chapter 1: Stop Being Sugar And Just Be Batter

Day 0: (pre-mixed)

My life is in pieces right now, quite literally. I’m just a cup of sugar in one bag, a cup of flour in another bag and I think I’m a little bit of water. Consciousness is hard to maintain, but I think I’m doing pretty well. Occasionally, I get the urge to say something random, like banana fruit mix rainbow pie, does that make sense? Perhaps I’ll ask that pink clip-cloppity thing.

Day 1 – 7:00 AM (mixing it up)

I’m being mixed together! This is exciting, the pink clip-cloppity thing has a name. I think it’s great. Pinkie. Really cheerful, it makes me feel really happy. I’m now equal parts sugar and flour. I think I’m really sweet. Is that bragging? It’s not bragging if it’s true, right? Oh no, it is bragging even if it is true! Oh Pinkie is back, she’s putting something solid but squishy on me. Oh, it’s a binder. I feel whole now. This is great.

What’s that? Yellow and clear, slimy, eww. Oh Pinkie says they’re ‘eggs’, I wonder where they come from? Oooh what’s that liquid? It feels cool and creamy. Mmm. Mmmmooooo! Oh, why did I suddenly think of that noise? Woah! Swirling around, weeee! Pinkie is humming a little song to herself. It’s pleasant to listen to. Mix in the butter, pour in the milk, stir up a storm until it’s soft as silk!

Day 1 – 7:20 AM (settling in)

I think there’s something covering the top of my bowl so all I can do is hear now. Pinkie is saying something to ‘somepony’. Wait, does somepony that even apply to me? Oh they’re talking about something interesting! Magic… crystals… spell… I think I’m too far to hear all the details. That’s a shame, it sounded like an interesting conversation.

Day 1 – 7:30 AM (playing it cool)

I think Pinkie got in trouble on my behalf. I heard some arguing and then somepony grabbed my bowl and dunked me somewhere really cool. I think they said something about getting me back in the morning. Hmm, maybe there’s somepony I could talk to in here. It sounds cramped in here though. Hello? Can anypony hear me? No? Okay, I think I’ll take a nap…

Day 2 – 6:30 AM (bring out the big gums)

A bit of me was eaten by a green little thing with no teeth. It didn’t hurt but it seemed like a part of me is gone forever. I don’t know what part it is. I’ve been sitting in the ‘fridge’ for a while now and Pinkie found my bowl sort of upturned on the side. She gasped and fixed me up right away with more sugar and flour. I’m glad she cares so much about me. She says I’m special. Woopee! I feel a little different though, my consistency is off.

Day 2 – 7:30 AM (getting baked)

So I went to pieces after that. Ohoho, I’ll never get tired of that joke. I’m now discrete portions on a cupcake tray. Does that mean I’m a cupcake? I sound delicious. I wonder what I taste like? Pinkie keeps saying I’m going to be the most delicious thing ever! I can’t say I disagree but it’s nice to see that she believes in me so much. I’m in the oven now and it’s toasty warm inside. Mmm. Actually, it’s starting to get a little hot in here. Uhh Pinkie, can you come back and open the door? It’s getting really hot!

Day 2 – 7:40 AM (heat exhaustion)

I’m getting really dry now, a lot of my water is gone. The temperature keeps rising in here. I found out I can move! It’s slow but I’m steadily rising. Eventually I’ll balloon out of this tray and pop open the door myself.

Day 2 – 7:45 AM (window of opportunity)

Pinkie looks in through the glass in the door. She smiles at me and gets excited. I think she’s proud of my growth. I’m proud too, I’m pretty poofy now. I don’t feel so sloppy. It’s been sweltering in here but Pinkie has the best interests in mind for me. She turns a little white knobby thing and leaves the door again. I get back to expanding.

Day 2 – 7:50 AM (the icing on the cake)

Pinkie has sure been busy while I’ve been sitting here. Looks like she made something called ‘icing’ to go on top of me. It’s really colourful, she’s got seven different types of icing all of different colours that she wants to dress me up in. This is going to be good!

Day 2 – 8:10 AM (crème de la crème)

I’ve been sitting here for a while, and then Pinkie moved me from the counter to the table. She said I would be taken out later, when all her friends were around. I was excited! What would her friends be like? Would I enjoy their company? Could they teach me about the world outside this little place Pinkie called ‘the kitchen’?

Day 2 – 8:50 AM (presentation day)

I’m bubbling with excitement, figuratively. I don’t think Pinkie would be happy if any part of me bubbled at this point. She’d put a lot of effort into my creation and I’m happy to make her happy, she’s done a lot for me. I’m taken out of the tray, it took me a while to register that I’d been poured into little papery wrappings that made it easy to lift me out of the tray. Some of my overflowing essence had stayed stuck to the tray, but it wasn’t so bad.

She stacked me into a small box with white cardboard walls. Once or twice she opened the box to check on me. Pinkie says it’d be a shame if I were ruined on the way. There’s a sharp movement, a gasp and a sudden impact. Some of my icing squishes into another part of me as I tumbled around in the box. The box pops open.

Ooh, that feels good. Warm air, heady fresh breeze, I lie in the dirt though, and for some reason that upsets me. Oh look, Pinkie is there, there’s tears welling up… Don’t cry Pinkie, don’t cry. She quickly dashes them away. The other pony that crashed into her is apologising profusely. Pinkie smiles cheerfully and tells the pony ‘no problem!’, the other pony looks relieved. As the pony leaves though, Pinkie sniffs a couple of times.

“You were super duper special,” she tells me, gathering me back into the box. I feel a bit weak now, as if the dirt sapped the strength from my body. I don’t feel so connected anymore, I feel like I’m drifting away.

Don’t cry Pinkie, there’s always more where I came from.

“I don’t have time to make any others.”

Make another cupcake, bake me again, pour on some icing and then count to ten!

“You were special.”

Every cupcake is special to you, that’s what makes us special too!

“I’ll just try again, super fast.”

That’s the spirit.

––––––

“So now we only have ordinary cupcakes,” Pinkie moaned dejectedly. She hoofed the ground morosely.

“Don’t worry about it, Pinkie. It’s a shame we’ll never get to try that animation spell on the cupcakes, but it was only temporary anyway. Usually they just dance around and fall to the ground.” Twilight giggled. “It’s silly, really.”

“I know, I just felt I had a really great connection with that last batch.”

Twilight smiled, patting Pinkie on the back. “Don’t worry about it,” she repeated. “There’s always a next time.”

“Mmm,” Pinkie replied, but her eyes were distant.

Author's Note

Lalalala, I don't even know what I'm doing~

The internal dialogue of the cupcake kind of reminds me of the whale that burst into existence above Magrathea. If you don't know this reference, you are sorely missing out.

Next Chapter: More cupcakes, less sugar.

As always, my sweet and savoury readers, thanks for reading!

P.S. Sentience is the state of being able to experience things. One of the first things I corrected on in my first fic. Sapience is the ability to think, ponder and to judge. Since this cupcake is an entity that can form ideas and judge, I thought it 'wise' to label it sapient.