Okay...hmm...Once upon a time there was a place called Smiley Ville that was southeast of...yes Equestria. One day Applejack of Equestria decided to visit her relatives in Smiley Ville. Okay...um...uh lost my train of thought...oh right right right right...oh I lost it again dangit. Smiley Ville is located where Alabama would be on our map. Therefor the inhabitants are all hillbillies. And they don't pronounce notin'. Notin'. When Applejack arrived, Billy Bob, Jo Jo, Frank, Betty, Big Mama, Popa, uh...oh yeah Pa...ummm....Papa...papa, Big Daddyo' Pony. Anywho they were all very exited to see her and invited her to eat cockroaches on a stick.
(Cockroaches are the most common animal in Smiley Ville AKA Hillbilly Ville.) Um...uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ahhhhhhh...She was thoroughly disgusted by this cause she had been in the city for far to long. The family members were very hurt by the rejection of their food, and so then to scare her they told her a ghost story. They told her about Bobby Bones. Bobby Bones the...um...ugh. The murderer pony in the neighborhood. He had earlier terrorized Pony Place. You interrupted me. Ugh. So anywho then they told her that he frequented the pastures around them and that if she wanted better grass besides their cockroach food, she would have to go and get it herself and face the evil...Bobby Bones.
Applejack was extremely hungry and really didn't want to eat cockroaches. So late that night she snuck out of the house to go eat some grass. It started to rain. Applejack said, "Well it looks like Ah can eat in peace and Ah don't believe there is this Bobby Bones fella'." Then as she was eating the fresh grass, she heard something. Um...the sound sounded like the howl of a horse and the squealing of a snake and mooing of a frog. After she heard this, there was a loud fart, a gun shot, and another gun shot. The last thing she saw was a mist pony coming out of the ground and then. She was. Ripped in half! *insert scary music*
Back at Farm Ville AKA Hillbilly Ville's biggest farm, they heard those same noises and cracked up. Truth is, they didn't really like her and wanted her to die. The also didn't really care about all the bronies that would be heartbroken. Um...then they had a brilliant idea...they kidnapped a young female pony from her bed in another farm, painted her yellow, branded her with and iron that was in the shape of two Apples, ripped out her mane and tail and then glued on an orange wig for her mane and tail.
Then they woke her up and told her," Your new name is Applejack, and you will live in Equestria from now on. Forget about all ties to your life." She calmly and happily said, "Sure!" and walked to Equestria. She wasn't the sharpest needle in the haystack, but that's okay because neither was Applejack. Haha. They new since Applejack was one of the most stupid ponies they had ever met in their entire lives, that this fake Applejack would be no different.
When (fake) Applejack got into Equestria she met with her friends, Flutter Pie, Pinkie Shy, and Rainbow Sparkle and that other one. The immediately swarmed her and asked her about her trip. Applejack happily said," Oh it was great! I got kidnapped, branded, tortured, and sold. Oh and I was told that I was Applejack. How about you?" They just stared at her in total shock and stupidity. Then Pinkie Shy or whatever her name is, said," So your like the real deal right?"
'Applejack' said,"Sure." Idiotically. Fortunately for them a nearby police pony thing was standing by and overheard their conversation. He snuck away and located more of his reinforcements. Okay...they tracked that ponies er..uh they tracked her back to Applejack's relatives. They asked them what had happened to the real Applejack, and the redneck family awkwardly all said, "Uh...Nothin' nothin' at all." The police ponies easily figured out that the were lying. Then they forced the redneck family to go into the same pasture at night. *insert scary music*
Then uh...they suddenly heard the the howl of a horse and the squealing of a snake and mooing of a frog. After they heard this, there was a loud fart, a gun shot, and another gun shot. The mist parted and from the shadows...*insert eerie music* So...they spotted an old old OLD ugly pony and he said, "YOU ARE MURDERERS!!" Then they all exploded. the police tried to investigate but there was no evidence left. Only the splattered remains of the ponies from Smiley Ville.
From that day on the residence of Hillbilly Ville/Smiley Ville lived in terror. But every year they had a comedy festival which was filled with laughter at the dead bodies of the hill billies. Fake Applejack was forever know as normal Applejack. Except for the smarter bronies who actually realized. All of the bronies that read this legend went on a man hunt, for the extremely famous, handsome and totally humble writer. Hahah. They brought their pitchforks and torches and tried to murder him for the injustices done to the bronie culture.
In the non bronie society he was reveared and honered. But some called him a narcissist. I wonder why...anyways after the bronies failed to find him he published this legend on a world renowned website know as fimfiction.net, using one of his friends accounts. They never did find him, but he's always out there waiting to write another story that will make thousands of people angry at him...
The End
Or is it...
Yes it is over...thank God...ha...
