Where the Bloody **** Are We?!?

When the two trios awakened, they were in an entirely different environment. Everything seemed to be animated, and they were in a courtyard of some place, it looked like a castle. Hermione woke first. She stood on her feet, but they didn’t work, and she fell back down. She looked down at her feet...wait, no, hooves?! She suddenly grew wide eyes, and promptly started to freak out a little. (OK, a LOT.)

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!” She yelled very loudly, and this caused the others to wake, albeit slowly. But Hermione didn’t care about them right now. She looked down at herself. She couldn’t believe it! She was a dark lavender unicorn mare, with a long-ish light brown mane. Her cutie mark- she had a cutie mark!- was three books. She grinned in excitement. This. Was. Happening!! She looked over at Ron and Harry, who were just starting to wake up.

One thing she noticed automatically was they were all unicorns. Made sense, as they all practiced magic. Ron was maroon with his long-ish orange mane.  She laughed at the irony of his coat color. He hated maroon. Hermione noticed white freckles adorning his face. His cutie mark was a fork and a spoon crossed like swords. Probably because he ate. All the time.

When Hermione looked over at Harry, she noticed something a bit different about him. Other than he was a pony, of course. His coat was a bold red, and his muzzle was gold. He was Gryffindor’s colors! He still had his scar upon his head, and his cutie mark was the Golden Snitch, which showed his obvious talent for Quidditch.

She turned to the Slytherin trio, who were still groggy.

Pansy was pistachio-green, with shoulder length brown hair and dark green eyes. Her cutie mark was the flower pansy, which Hermione thought was cheesy and unoriginal.

Blaise was brown with a really short dark brown mane and deep brown eyes. His cutie mark was a quarter rest, which Hermione didn’t really understand. Did he play music?

And finally, she looked over at Malfoy.

Draco was very similar to Harry, except he had become Slytherin colors, his muzzle being gray, while the rest of his body was a dark green. His eyes were almost the exact shade of green as his coat. Draco’s cutie mark was a thin silver dragon wrapped around a wand. Probably to represent his name, Draco, which was Latin for dragon.

By the time she had finished making her observations, everyone had woken up and realized they could no longer stand on two legs. They were freaking out that they had randomly turned into small, animated horses.

Hermione, being the pony she is, had (mostly) gotten over it, and was already trying to stand again. A while passed, while everyone freaked out and Hermione tried to walk, before anyone spoke.

“Where are we?” Harry asked, remembering the last time he had suddenly transported someplace, and was definitely wary.

Malfoy sneered, “If anyone even breathes a word of this to anyone, I will personally see to it that your early death is excruciatingly painful.”

“Well, that’s dandy for you, but we still don’t know where the bloody **** we are!” Ron yelled in Malfoy's  face, then turned to Hermione, his face turning (more) purple and flushed. “Hermione, where the heck are we?”

Hermione turned to them with a giddy look on her face. “We're in Equestria!”

“...” There was a pregnant pause as everyone else looked at Hermione with a blank look on their face.

“Hermione, you do realize that this does nothing to clarify our location to us?” Harry asked.