A New Horizon of Possiblities

by kingofcommons

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, Comedy, Other, Romance, Adventure, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human
Length: 10442

A Log Horizon/ Fire Emblem crossover self insert. Yeah I went there.

Take your average guy, place him in a situation where his reality melds with the physics of a video game while being sent to a land of magical ponies and you get my first original story. This is a shameless self insert where I just write whatever I want about. I want to have my character OP in some ways while not having to struggle with real life problems at all because you know, if magic existed, humans would be even lazier than they are now. Anyway, I welcome all criticism, more tags might be added when I feel like updating and I hope this inspires some mlp stories with Log Horizon involved.

Published 2015-01-12 04:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-19 18:54:14 UTC

Prologue

I awoke to strange noises echoing around me. I couldn’t feel my bed, pillows, blanket or anything. As I slowly tried to wake up, I could finally discern the noise around me as a constant neighing and other horse noises. Wondering just what in the hell was going on, I tried looking around for my glasses until I realized two things. One, if I wasn’t on my bed, then it’s a pretty safe bet that my glasses wouldn’t be within reach of me. Two, I realized that my glasses were actually already on, which was even weirder since I never sleep with my glasses on and it took me so long to notice. When I had fully awoken, I had to push my glasses upward to rub my eyes and contemplate the sight before me. I was in the middle of some heavily populated town square, in a pretty clean and prosperous looking city with a bunch of ponies standing around me, with looks mixed with shock, disgust, terror, and curiosity among the crowd. They seemed even more panicked now that I was looking around at all of them, but I wanted to clarify that these were not regular ponies. Oh no, these ponies looked all cartoon like with big heads, small bodies, ridiculously huge eyes that were way too expressive and came in so many different shades of colors that it was a veritable rainbow of weird dumped on my eyes.

They also wore some fancy clothing, which just added to the WTF breakdown I was having as I tried to make sense of the situation.

‘Ok…’ I thought to myself while they were still neighing and whinnying at me and themselves. ‘I’m apparently in magical ponyland…’ I laughed a little too crazily inside my head. ‘I have absolutely no idea how this happened since I’m pretty sure everything was normal before I went to bed, but now I’m…’

As I was lost in my thoughts, a green, reflective screen popped into existence right in front of me, causing me to flinch back in fright, which was mirrored by all the little ponies surrounding me, some even screaming at my sudden movement. ‘It’s like they’re intelligent or something…’ I thought as I gazed at the screen and got another shock added to my list. From the screen’s reflection acting like a mirror, I saw what I looked like and apparently, I wasn’t the fat, lazy nerd I was before, but a lean, tall Japanese guy with glasses, black hair, a cloak, and clothes that I definitely don’t own. Staring at myself, I didn’t notice the clip clop of hooves heading towards me as a trio of ponies in fancy armor came galloping towards the crowd and disturbance. I ignored it all as realization hit me as to who I was.

‘Holy shit! I look like Shiro from Log Horizon!’ I thought with glee. Looking at the screen still before me, I noticed that it showed a portrait of my new appearance along with all of the basics displayed before me as I realized I was staring at a menu screen, MY OWN MENU SCREEN!!! I eagerly began to raise my hand and began touching the screen eagerly, scrolling through and looking at all of the items, spells, and everything else I apparently possessed. Unfortunately, my behavior didn’t go unnoticed as the ponies around me were even more terrified now, babbling to themselves and wondering what I was doing until the royal guards appeared on the scene.

They were shouting at me, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. The one in the middle was doing all the shouting, while the other two beside him were glancing nervously between me and their apparent leader. Said leader, from his voice, posture, and tone were annoying the fuck out of me. He was sneering and constantly gesturing and posing himself to make himself look in charge. I wanted to test out some of the new spells I scrolled through on my menu screen on the bastard, but I needed to try and understand them somehow. Looking at the upper right hand corner of my screen, I noticed something that was sure to help me. Near my name and portrait, the word language was displayed. I quickly pressed it, which got all the ponies startled, especially the jack ass who was shouting at me. I noticed that the language I was using and listening for was in English, but the language the ponies were speaking was something called Equestrian. I was about to press the icon and change the settings until a bright red beam hit me right in the chest. I flinched, as I clutched my stomach in pain while I slowly began to lose consciousness. I could still see my menu screen, which helpfully told me I was stunned and while my health and energy seemed fine, I was still losing consciousness. I looked toward the trio of guards and noticed the asshole leader was the one who shot me. He had a frightened look on his face as I noticed his horn glow red, but it quickly changed to relief and a sneer at my condition. It was official, I was gonna make this asshole’s life a living hell when I woke up.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the depths of Canterlot Castle’s dungeons, Shiro began to stir. He groaned to himself as he slowly regained consciousness. He noticed that he was in a small jail cell, the bag in he carried and staff were missing, but at least they left him with his clothes and cloak. Scanning the room, he noticed two guards standing at attention in front of the entrance to his cell, who were now gazing at him with a mixture of weariness and curiosity. Shiro was unsure if they were the same guards he met at town square, but he no longer paid them any attention. Leaning against the wall, Shiro began to open up the menu screen he saw earlier, the process easy because he was able to see a cluster of icons within the periphery of his vision. His movements must have startled the guards as he noticed one rushing off somewhere while the other stared at him apprehensively. Ignoring the lone guard, Shiro opened the option under language and took a closer look at it. He confirmed that he was still speaking and hearing English and scrolled through the languages available until he found the so called Equestrian language he noticed all the little ponies were speaking when they were staring at him before in the town square. Clicking on the language, Shiro selected Equestrian so now he was able to speak and understand the language. Smiling to himself, he looked toward the guard, smiling at him, which made the guard stare back at him, discomfort on his face obvious.

“What in Tartarus are you…?” the guard asked him.

Satisfied that he could understand him, he was about to reply until the other guard came back, apparently dragging the first jack ass I met since appearing here.

“There it is lieutenant! See! It’s awake!” the returning guard exclaimed with fear tinging his voice. ‘Geez, I’m not that scary am I’ Shiroe asked himself as jackass spoke to the guard.

“I don’t buckin’ care if it’s awake! The princess wants to take a look at the freak and we gotta make sure to feed it and all that garbage before she gets here!”

God, I wanted to kill this bastard for every second he existed. He just screamed to be the corrupt law official type to me, and while I wanted to scroll through the spells I noticed on my screen in the skills list, I held off, thinking about what he said. The princess was apparently coming to see him and he decided that she would be the first pony he would talk to and convince that he wasn’t a threat. As for the guards he had the pleasure of meeting already, he decided to punish the lieutenant in front of said princess by showing her everything he witnessed when he was conscious since coming here. It would give plenty of evidence to kick the guy off the military, getting him court marshaled or something. He recalled seeing a certain spell that he knew would help him do just that and while he wanted to learn more about himself, literally, he needed to get in good terms with whoever was in charge here, and this princess was the best first step.
Unfortunately, while he was contemplating this he was hit in the face with something. Spluttering to himself while he heard lieutenant asshole laughing at him, he saw that a small pile of hay hit him in the face. Not a second afterward he noticed a bucket of water come sailing towards his face next, causing him to quickly catch it before it struck him.

“Hahaha! Good catch freak! You better be grateful you get even that much to eat before meeting the princess! Then you can spend the rest of your dumb life here in the dungeons!” he laughed some more.

Smirking inwardly, I knew I would get my revenge on the bastard once this princess showed up, since I was happily recording everything that was happening right now, or well everything I was experiencing since the spell I was gonna use was a sort of memory spell. It allowed others to view the point of view of the caster or the person the spell was casted on. It makes pretty good evidence when you see it in real time like a security camera. Anyway, while I was musing over my abilities and the situation, one of the guards spoke up.

“Hey, don’t you think you’re being too hard on it. It tried to say something to us earlier. Maybe it’s sapient, but can’t speak our language. We should…”

Before he could say more, the lieutenant turned toward him and struck him in the face with a hoof. The guard reared back, clutching at the bruise with both hooves while the lieutenant yelled at him.

“I don’t buckin’ care if this thing is intelligent or not. Catching this thing is my ticket for a promotion so I can get more out of this miserable job and get my bits!”

I continued to smile to myself. This jackass was just adding more fuel to the fire. While I could easily prove my intelligence and get a good laugh out of their expressions, I needed to wait for this princess to show up. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait any longer. I could hear the sound of doors opening and the guards around me quickly shutting up and standing at attention. Slowly, a large, white pony entered my field of vision. She had wings and a horn with some fancy shoes, crown and assorted jewelry on her person. Her fancy mane was multi-colored with a weird flowing effect going on like it was caught in some breeze. She seemed like the caring, motherly type to me, but also radiated power and authority that proved she wasn’t someone to mess with.

She gazed down upon me, a serene smile adorning her features, but I could tell it was nothing more than a mask she wore. I was always able to read people pretty well and it just got a hundred times easier with ponies involved.

“Hello there creature. I am princess Celestia of Equestria.” She had a gentle, lovely voice, but before I could introduce myself, lieutenant jackass interrupted.

“Don’t bother with this animal, your highness. I caught it terrorizing the ponies at Canterlot Square.” The lieutenant smirked proudly until I decided to ruin his life with my story.

“I am very sorry Princess, but please do not believe this unicorn’s lies.” I spoke in a clear, formal voice, earning the shock of all the ponies present with the worse reaction going to the jackass while the most controlled obviously went to the princess. I smiled and continued.

“My name is Shiro. I am an enchanter and it is an honor to meet you Celestia.” I bowed formally to her and she actually giggled at my little show. However, Lieutenant jackass decided to step in again.

“Watch your mouth prisoner! You are addressing the princess!” he shouted at me.

I smiled at him as I turned to the princess. “Celestia. If you are willing, I would like to show you exactly what happened in my version of this little story as well as present some evidence revealing the criminal behavior of this pony here…” I pointed to the soon to be doomed guard, the smile never leaving my face. “with a little memory spell that will show everything that had happened.”

Celestia stared at Shiro for a moment, but it seemed like an eternity for everypony else, minus one human, until she gave him a smile and a nod.

“Please Shiro. If you are able to, please show us your side of the story.”

I smiled and even the pair of guards gave a quick smirk before turning stony faced again. To my delight, the jackass was practically a river of sweat as I held out my hand, a soft white glow emanating forth. The light spread outward, spreading wide enough for all to see as the picture slowly came into focus, a recollection of my memories when I was surrounded by all the fancy ponies at the aforementioned Canterlot Square. For the next few minutes, everyone could see exactly what happened to me and most notably, the corrupt guard’s actions and words throughout the whole exchange. Celestia was actually frowning in displeasure as she watched, the jackass practically creating a river made of sweat as everyone watched. When the scenes finally stopped and the picture faded along with the light, I addressed the princess once again.

“As you can see, this memory spell I cast on myself proves my side of the story in this matter and that guard there,” I pointed at lieutenant jackass. “is guilty of corruption and unfair treatment of another sapient species.” I turned toward the princess with a smile. “If you wish for more evidence to point to other crimes he may have committed, I would be happy to perform the spell on him.”

Celestia had a neutral look on her face as she contemplated my offer, but I could somehow tell from her eyes that she was enjoying this whole situation. However, the corrupt guard decided to do something truly stupid.

“Buck this! If I’m going down, I’m going to take you with me freak!”

The guard lowered his horn at me in preparation of using some type of spell. The guards and Celestia were shocked at the unprovoked act of violence, but before they could do anything, I snapped my fingers as a purple transparent bubble encased itself around the corrupt guard’s head. The glow from the horn faded and while the guard was shaking his head in bafflement trying to activate his magic, I flicked my fingers at him, an arc of light flowing along the finger tips as the unicorn was completely immobilized by the light threads I had created.

“Astral bind.” I spoke the spell’s name loudly to fully activate its effects.

It was at that moment, Celestia decided to fire the same red colored spell that knocked me out at the violent guard which knocked the guard unconscious. After that, I released the hold my spell had over the jackass.

“Guards! Take this criminal and throw him into a cell. I will make sure he is court martialed and imprisoned for his crimes.” The guards nodded in unison and dragged the bastard away.

I had a smile on my face. Mission accomplished. Turning to the princess I asked her if I could be let out of my little cell since I was imprisoned for no reason or given any knowledge of whatever possible law I had broken. The princess nodded and her horn began to glow a golden yellow color before my cell door swung open. I stepped out and addressed her.

“Thank you so much for releasing me Celestia.” I smiled at her.

She smiled back. “You’re quite welcome Shiro. I am sorry that we receive a guest from another plane of existence entirely only to have said guest suffer under the corruption of one of my former royal guards.” Celestia lowered her head in shame, her ears splayed back. I smiled at her and lifted her head to look at me, much to her surprise and amusement.

“Think nothing of it princess. I was planning for that so called guard to be punished anyway and while I could’ve used violence, I thought that letting the ruling authority see for herself that evil and corruption can come from anywhere.”

Celestia nodded. “Truly wise words you speak Sir Shiro. Once again though I apologize and I hope to make your stay here enjoyable from now on.” She smiled once again at me and I smiled back.

“Come now. I will escort you to the dining hall to partake in a better dinner than the one here.”

The princess and I exited the dungeon, walking past a number of hall ways and corridors that were all eerily similar in appearance.

“Feels like you can get lost here quite easily.” I casually remarked to the princess.

Celestia giggled. “Yes. It does take some time to remember the layout of the castle, but don’t worry, I’ve been around long enough to know my home like the back of my hoof.”

I chuckled. I was in a new world with ponies that I can thankfully communicate with, knew magic, had a better appearance compared to my original self, exposed a corrupt guard, and was now going to enjoy dinner with royalty. After dinner, I hope to learn more about what exactly I can do, while secretly squeeing at how my life was like the anime Log Horizon, a new world that seems like a game one would play, if it involved magical talking ponies, but is truly so much more. I hope this is reality because if this is all some elaborate dream my subconscious weirdly cooked up, I was gonna be hella pissed off.

Ch.1 Food for Thought

The Castle I found myself in might as well have been a labyrinth that stretched on for hundreds of miles, with all of the intersecting hallways that all looked the same. Fortunately, the princess and I only had to climb down two flights of stairs in order to reach the dining room. When the princess opened the door, using magic I guess since her horn started to glow a beautiful golden color that matched the aura surrounding the door knobs of both doors, I could see that it had a few pairs of windows showing a nice view of some well-maintained garden and the walls no doubt surrounding the castle grounds.

During my little walk, the princess had told me a few more things about where I was, namely that I was in a city called Canterlot, the Capital of Equestria no less, and gave me a little history lesson about how some things called the Elements of Harmony had saved the country from evil several times while boasting of a millennium long peace. Needless to say, I was impressed at that bit, considering humans fought wars all the time for whatever reason and we were the only species on our planet. Apparently here on Equis though, there were all sorts of sentient beings on this planet that lived in their own respective parts of the world and while not all of them enjoyed such a long peace as much as Equestria did apparently, they all enjoyed the term for lengthy durations of time before occasionally getting into a fight with some other country, but it rarely escalated to a full on war.

Anyway, we finally made it to the dining room and I sat myself down in a random seat, which was uncomfortable since it was made to for ponies rather than humans, and Princess Celestia sat down in a chair relatively close to me. It looked like she was waiting for someone else to attend as well, no surprise since this table was pretty long and I could expect several family members to come for dinner.

“So Princess,” I caught her attention as she turned to look at me. “I’m guessing we’re waiting for someone and that you want to ask me some questions right?”

Celestia nodded, smiling at me. “Indeed Shiro. My sister and I wish to know more about you and where you came from.”

I nodded. “Sure that’s fine. I can tell you right now though that I barely understand what’s going on myself and I’m just trying to roll with it instead of freaking out.”

Celestia chuckled again as I smiled. I could tell there was more to it than what it appeared to be on the surface. She was testing me, to see if I was some threat or liability. Hell, the first thing I’d do if I ran my own country and some alien popped up out of nowhere would be to interrogate it first and make sure I knew everything about it before letting it have any freedom. These ponies were certainly nicer than humans at least. I don’t really fancy the idea of being examined and dissected for the benefit of pony kind.

As I was mulling over my thoughts, I heard a new voice enter the dining room.“Sister, we were wondering if thou hath finished our last batch of cookies and if this is true, thou shall…”

I turned toward the new speaker and saw another pony with a horn and wings like Celestia, but she was more of a dark blue color with a mane that looked like the night sky and a mark of the moon on her flanks where as Celestia’s was a mark of the sun.

The new pony turned to me before addressing her sister again. “Tia, is this the creature that the Royal Guard apprehended earlier?”

Celestia nodded and smiled at her sister then at me. “Indeed Luna. He is called Shiro and while I do not know his species yet, I have asked him if he could tell us more about himself. I was just waiting for you to arrive so we could enjoy dinner together while he talks.”

Luna nodded in understanding, digesting what her older sister had told her before she backpedaled a bit.

“That would be most wonderful sister, but thou has still not told us if thou were the one that pilfered our cookies?” Luna narrowed her eyes at her sister, who turned away while whistling awkwardly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Luna…” Celestia said as she continued to look awkward and guilty.

“Seriously?” I deadpanned. “You’re not being very convincing Celestia.”

Celestia chuckled. “Well, all right, it was me. I’ll make it up to you later though little sister. Come join us.”

Luna let out a sigh. “Very well sister.”

She trotted over to a seat that was next to Celestia, but was opposite from where I was sitting.

Celestia turned to me again. “The chefs are preparing a variety of dishes for tonight’s dinner, but it will take a little while longer before they bring it all out. In the meantime, maybe you can answer a few of our questions after you’ve told us about yourself and how you came to be in Equestria."

I nodded and took a deep breath. “All right. Well you both know my name, so that gets that part out of the way.”

'Not like I’m going to tell you my real name anyway. Too boring and if they try reading my mind, I’ll know about it and keep them out with the barriers I set up in my mind while I was in the dungeon. I had enough time in there to at least look up how to protect myself somewhat both physically an mentally.'

“Anyway, my species are called humans or homo sapiens for the scientific term. We’re the only sapient species on a planet called Earth and I have no idea where that is relative to here because all I remember before going to bed last night was being in my own room after eating dinner and doing recreational activities before falling asleep. Next thing I know, I wake up in the middle of that square in your city, completely altered in appearance and can suddenly do magic, while all of those snobby ponies were staring at me like I was some freak or monster.”

Shiro finished his short little tale, answering the how and why of both princesses’ questions about what himself and what he was doing here on their world. Unbeknownst to the Enchanter, both princesses had set up subtle lie detector spells that glow a faint green color in their mind’s eye as Shiro recounted his brief tale, letting them know that he wasn’t lying. Satisfied with his story, they decided to begin asking him questions to determine his intentions and whether or not he was going to be a threat to their ponies after discussing it between themselves through a telepathic link they shared; Part of the perks of being goddesses.

“I see. Well then Shiro, I would like to ask you what your intentions are now that you are here.” Celestia spoke a soft tone in her voice conveying her motherly demeanor.

Shiro pondered the question for a moment before giving a shrug. “Well princesses, I really don’t know what I’m going to do here…” Shiro trailed off. “I mean, I already told you both that this isn’t what I originally looked like and all of THIS,” Shiro spread his arms out wide to get his point across. “is all a little much to take in. Ideally, I wanna try and find a way to get back to my home. I don’t suppose either of you would know of some spell or something that can let me do that?” Shiro asked with a tinge of hope coloring his voice.

Sadly, both sisters turned to stare at one another before they both shook their heads at him. “Then in that case, I’m just gonna stick around in this world for a while, learn what I can from it and learn more about myself.” Shiro finished with a sense of satisfaction. At least he had some plan in mind for the coming days and possible rest of his life that staying on an alien world entailed.

“Well, that sounds like a great start Shiro.” Celestia said with a smile on her face. He had been truthful so far, but she needed to be absolutely certain that he wouldn’t be a threat to her subjects. Unfortunately, Luna decided to be blunt and ask the question she was just thinking of in her mind.

“Sir Shiro. We ask if thou would be a threat to our subjects and if so, thou shall pay for any ill intent.” Luna narrowed her eyes at the enchanter, who looked surprised at the sudden question. Celestia would have facehoofed if she could at her little sister, but Luna was often more suited to the direct approach anyway. Both sisters waited for Shiro’s response as he thought of the question.

“Well, honestly, I could be a threat if any your subjects wrong me in anyway or wish harm on me.” Shiro trailed off as he noticed both sisters looked agitated and were glaring at him, like they were daring him to do such a thing.

He sighed. “But seriously, I wouldn’t be the one to start anything with a person or a pony in this case. I’m not a bad guy, but I’m not just going to stand around and take any abuse you or subjects might dish out.” Shiro smirked at the two sisters. “After all, that guard who stunned me, sent me to the dungeons and out right insulted me qualifies as going too far in my book and I punished him in the best way I thought possible. If you recall Celestia, I didn’t use violence against him, even though I could have, it’s not always the best solution.” Shiro trailed off while Celestia nodded in understanding.

That particular case was disgraceful in her eyes and Shiro really dealt with such hostility in the best way possible in her opinion. Luna looked a little confused at what the human had said and asked him to clarify with her the incident in the dungeons. After Shiro had finished going over his treatment by the guard, Luna was visibly shaking and grinding her teeth in anger.

“Sister, we do hope that thou will punish that guard mercilessly. Such a disgrace for a pony to be so corrupt and out of touch with harmony to treat another sapient being in such a way and has committed more than this one crime no less. “Luna huffed while Celestia nodded, a scowl on her face.

“Rest assured Luna. I will not let the pony go unpunished for causing so much trouble.” Satisfied, Luna calmed down and stared at the enchanter again, this time with a more curious look gracing he features.

Before anyone else could speak further, a pair of doors opened as maids and butlers came trotting out, pushing carts filled with food, but covered in lids as they began to set the table.

“Well, it looks like dinner is done.” Celestia said as she turned to Shiro. “Please help yourself to anything you like.”

Shiro nodded as the last trays of food were being arranged across the table. Shiro looked down at his own plate and saw the necessary utensils arranged in the fancy way where you get so many spoons and forks you don’t know which to use for proper etiquette. ‘Well screw good manners! I’m starving! I wonder what they prepared anyway.’ Shiro looked expectantly as the servants lifted the lids covering the trays to reveal… a whole assortment of fruits, vegetables, bread, a few soups and such. It wasn’t bad in his opinion, but Shiro noticed a distinct lack of meat present for dinner, which made sense since they were ponies. Unfortunately, because they were ponies, there was also a variety of flowers and grass arranged with most of the food present, setting Shiro’s face into a scowl. Both princesses noticed their guest’s reluctance to eat anything, but before they could ask him what was wrong, Shiro suddenly raised his right arm, a single finger extended as it looked like he was simply poking the air in front of him. It was quite unusual to say the least, but both princesses decided to watch and see what their guest was doing.

‘I can’t believe almost everything on this table has some plant mixed in with it.’ Shiro grumbled to himself. ‘When I was looking through the menu screen, I only gave a cursory glance at the stuff I had in my inventory, since I was too focused on looking at the skills I had. Maybe I have some food stored away that I can eat instead of this. It would be awkward picking through my food all throughout dinner.’

As Shiro scanned the items in his inventory, he marveled at how much he was apparently carrying within the seemingly bottomless depths of his new magic bag. He was looking through a screen that displayed an assortment of items from potions, quills, magical items and surprisingly enough, technology from his own world like an iphone, a tablet, a tv screen, several gaming systems, and other items that were there for his own convenience. He decided that he would look through most of the items in his inventory, especially the advanced technology he carried later and see if any of it would actually work here, but he shifted his priorities to finding any food in his possession. There was a lot of stuff to sift through, but luckily Shiro noticed what looked like a search bar on the top right section of the screen.

Wondering why he didn’t use that in the first place, he tapped the bar with his finger as a keyboard image popped up in a bubble within the screen. Shiro quickly typed the word food and clicked the search button. The screen changed for a moment before revealing a list of items he could clearly eat and began to decide what to get. He noticed as he clicked on the items displayed on the screen that they required a certain amount of ingredients to cook and the types of food he could make were things that he had seen or tried from his previous eating experiences.

He had a desire to try a dish he had read about in a manga one time, so he typed in the name into the search bar. He wanted to try a Shalyapin Steak don that he read about in a manga called Shokugeki no Souma. When he clicked the search button, he found the display for the dish and noted that he had the ingredients to make it. Eagerly, he pressed the cook button and suddenly a puff of smoke appeared in front of him, revealing the dish he wanted, startling and exciting him at the same time at the thought that it actually worked.

Keeping in mind that only a few minutes had passed since Shiro had gone silent and began searching through his menu screen, both princesses were still watching him curiously and both had a look of shock on their faces when a puff of smoke appeared and cleared away to reveal a bowl of food that neither had seen before.

Shiro stared at the bowl in front of him and smiled. “Awesome! It actually worked!” he said excitedly.

Both princesses stared from the bowl to Shiro several times before Luna decided to break the silence.

“Um Shiro…How did thou just do that?”

Shiro looked over at the night princess and smiled. “Well, I was trying to search for something to eat using my menu screen and while I was looking through the inventory section, I noticed that there were a number of foods I’ve heard about or eaten back in my world. So, I tried preparing one that I’ve always wanted to try and it worked!” Shiro concluded with a grin.

Both Celestia and Luna stared at one another. What was this menu screen he was referring to? Could it have something to do with the unusual magic that they had just witnessed?

“And what exactly is this menu screen Shiro?” Celestia asked.

Shiro furrowed his brow in thought before answering. After a while he said “Well, I think it’s just how my magic perceives itself in my mind and I’m seeing an image of things about myself, like what I have in my possession, skills and other information. I don’t fully understand it of course, but I’m just glad I can even do amazing things like this!” Shiro opened up his palms and pointed at the bowl, presenting proof of his greatness.

Celestia and Luna stared at each other once again. While he was still not lying to them, they both felt that it was a lot more complicated than what Shiro just described to them. He did say he didn’t have such abilities before coming here, so they would just have to leave it be. Luna stared at the bowl of food that had appeared, noting that it did look rather good. However, she noticed the brown, cooked thing on top of the bowl and she could suddenly smell a familiar scent and realized with a hint of disgust and horror that it was cooked flesh!

“Shiro! Why thus thou have meat on thine meal!?” yelled out the Lunar princess.

Celestia stared from her sister to the bowl of food and recognized the smell of cooked meat coming from the brown object on top. Both sisters stared at the enchanter, who just stared at them back before slowly putting a hand to rest on his forehead, giving out a sigh and shaking his head.

“Oh right! I forgot! You ponies can’t or don’t eat meat right?” Shiro asked the two princesses who stared at each other before Celestia spoke up.

“Well, biologically speaking, ponies are able to eat meat, but we don’t feel right killing another living creature to acquire their meat and eat it. It is more of a cultural restriction on our diet, but some ponies like pegasi eat fish and other seafood without any problems.”

Shiro nodded before replying. “Well humans need meat to stay healthy,” Both sisters’ eyes widened while the servants still in the room were muttering worriedly, and the guards were glaring at the human. Shiro raised his hands in a placating gesture. “We humans also eat fruits and vegetables too, but we can’t eat flowers, grass, hay, and other plants like that.” Shiro swept his arm at the array of food on the table. “Most of the food here has one of the three things I mentioned and I can’t eat them as a result. So basically, humans are omnivores.”

The ponies around the room slowly relaxed, while the princesses didn’t look as concerned anymore. Ponies were omnivores as well, but cultural reasons meant that not many have tried meat and said they liked it. The supply was also another restriction on their diet, but another question popped up in Luna’s mind.

“Then what kind of meat is that Shiro?” She pointed a hoof at the bowl and Shiro simply answered “It’s cow meat.”

Again a wave panic spread around the room and everything was back to square one.

“How could you eat another sapient species!” Celestia exclaimed in shock. At this point, Luna was charging her horn and several guards were edging closer to Shiro with their spears ready.

Shiro waved his hands frantically. “Woah, Woah, Woah! Cows in my world aren’t sapient! Only humans are! Are you saying that cows here are sapient?”

The tension in the room eased a bit, but the ponies were still in guard except for Celestia. “Yes, cows here are a sapient species. Donkeys, Zebras, dragons, griffins, breezies, minotaurs, changelings, and other many others are all sapient.”

Shiro gaped at what the princess had just said. ‘Holy shit! So many things can talk here! Well, good thing I know now than finding out later. Still, it’s not like I’d eat something that talks back to me anyway.’ Shiro explained as such to the princesses and reminded them that humans were the only sapient species on Earth and they needed to hunt and eat other animals to survive. All of the ponies finally began to calm down and Shiro began to relax.

“I apologize for our behavior Shiro.” Luna began to say. “I shouldn’t have reacted as such since griffins, dragons and minotaurs do consume meat, but we just assumed thou had killed another sapient being for food and we reacted rashly.” Luna sighed in regret, but Shiro waved his hand at her.

“It’s all right. Don’t mind, don’t mind at all.” Shiro began to laugh. “At least I know now rather than not knowing at all. Anyway, any food I conjure up is from my world so I hope there won’t be any more misunderstandings.”

With that, the princesses nodded and smiled and began to start digging in to their food. Shiro took the spoon and fork near his table (it didn’t matter which one to him) and slowly cut the steak on his don bowl. It was so tender, the juices pouring freely out and mixing with the rice underneath. Shiro took a nice piece into his fork and scooped up a fair amount of rice and onions into his spoon, biting into the meat in his fork before eating up the food in his food. The taste exploded in Shiro’s mouth as a wave a pleasure assaulted his taste buds. He didn’t even need to chew the meat! It was so tender, a mass of deliciousness that felt like a liquid pouring down his throat as he swallowed. Shiro gave out a sigh of contentment before heartily devouring his meal.

Shiro’s reaction to the food he made certainly attracted the attention of the princesses and were wondering for themselves how delicious the human’s cooking was. While Equestrian chefs could cook up a dish involving meat, the demand and supply for such things was low unless they catered to another species’ clientele and while most ponies saw the princesses as divine beings of perfection, they were simply normal ponies with unique personalities. One of these personalities that both sisters’ shared was an appreciation for culinary delights. They loved sampling delicious foods and while they lately ate some of the finest vegetarian meals in all of Equestria, they both weren’t strangers to the flavor of meat and the potential deliciousness it possessed. While eating meat that came from a cow, a sentient species in Equestria, they were curious how a non-sapient cow would taste like. This didn’t mean that they would start killing and eating the cows for their meat. Goodness! That would go against everything Equestria stood for. However, if it was as delicious as Shiro made it out to be, they would definitely have to ask him to start preparing their meals for them if he constantly made delicious meals in an instant.

“Pardon us Shiro,” Celestia spoke, getting Shiro’s attention away from his bowl. “could I try the food that you are eating?”

There were actually gasps around the room, from both the servants and the guards, all were staring at their ruler with disbelief. Luna was nodding her head and said “Verily, we would also like to try thine alien cuisine and judge its flavor for ourselves.” The worry and had been doubled as far as all the other ordinary ponies were concerned.

Shiro stared at the two sisters before replying. “You sure you want to try it? I thought eating meat is a big no-no here, especially for royalty to partake in such a forbidden pleasure.” Shiro smiled getting a little chuckle from both sisters.

“Despite how we act now in front of our subjects, we have been around for a long time.” Said Celestia. “It’s not like we haven’t eaten meat before and we were both quite enamored with trying out new delicacies. Isn’t that right sister?” Celestia turned to little sister who nodded in reply, a smile on her face.

“If you are willing to prepare two more bowls for us please.”

Then both sisters did something that Shiro just knew was their ultimate weapon. Both Celestia and Luna started to give him the puppy dog eyes complete with a little pout, quivering their lower lips. Shiro was helpless before the onslaught of adorable that these thrice cursed ponies were inflicting upon him. He tried to resist, but it was all futile and in the end, Shiro went through his menu screen and cooked up two more don bowls. Satisfied with themselves (those damn princesses!) they thanked Shiro as they levitated their respective bowls to their plates. They took their time savoring this new meal, noting that the smell alone was quite enticing with the scent of the plentiful onions chopped into tiny pieces, the strange white seeds that seemed to make up the under layer of the dish, and the layer of sauce covering the onions on top of the meat.

Celestia was the first to dig in to her meal as she sliced off a small piece of meat and took a spoonful of the white seeds and onions, and took a bite. The taste was unbelievable! The sauce provided a rich thickness, the meat itself was so tender, she barely had to chew for it to become mush in her mouth and the white seeds and onions stimulated her appetite, savoring the delicious first bite of this wonderful combination of meat and vegetables. Luna was not so reserved after her first bite. As soon as she had a taste, she began to eat her bowl vigorously, her hoofs a blur as she scooped up bite after bite of the delicious food into her waiting belly. Noticing her sister’s abandon of royal etiquette, she herself began digging into her meal with gusto, much to the surprise and shock of every other pony in the room. Shiro smiled at the two sisters before finishing the last few bites of his own don bowl, feeling rather satisfied after the meal, but just like how the manga described, he still felt hungry since the onions and plum flavored rice stimulated the appetite. Before too long, the two royals finished their meals gave off a sigh of relief simultaneously.

“That was really good!” they both said in unison.

Shiro chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

Unfortunately, both turned towards him with their accursed cuteness once again.

“Could you please give us another bowl Shiro?”they whimpered at him as he felt his eye twitch. With a sigh, he created two more steak don bowls, which were immediately grabbed by the two princesses’ magic. They eagerly began eating their second bowl while Shiro thought about things so far in his head. ‘Well, things can get much weirder than this. I’m actually enjoying all of this weirdness. Still, this is all a little too much to take in. I’m glad that the royalty seem to accept me here. Things could always be worse…’

Just as Shiro said that, he heard a voice slowly approaching the dining room.

“Auntie Celestia, Auntie Luna! I’m sorry for being late, I just had other things to-ugh why is such a disgusting beast sitting at the royal table!” a snobbish pony with a horn wearing fancy clothes and an elaborate hairstyle looking at him in disdain. Immediately, he could tell the atmosphere in the room had changed as he could practically feel the hatred all the other ponies, including Celestia and Luna, were giving the new arrival.

‘Great. I just had to go invoke Murphy’s law and wrath. Curse you Murphy! Curse you to hell!!!’

Yeah, things were certainly going to more interesting, like having a damn migraine interesting.

Author's Note

Okay. A plug in for people to try reading Shokugeki no Souma, which is gonna be an anime this spring, which is super awesome! Updates are going to be infrequent depending on how life works and if my attention span can focus enough to write the next chapter. Anyway, thanks for reading!

One Thing After Another

The unicorn was still talking in a voice that made me want to murder him for every second of my life he was wasting. You ever meet someone where you instinctively hate them just for existing? Unfortunately, I have and this guy was the first asshole on my shit list in a new world no less. Give the guy a medal.

“Auntie! Why is there such an ugly beast sitting at the royal table! Guards! Throw this thing into the dungeons right now!” Blueblood screamed in whiny, petty tone.

The guards looked to the sun princess, wanting to know what to do until Celestia spoke up.

“Blueblood, that is no way to treat a guest. This is another sapient being. His name is Shiro and he is a human. He deserves to be treated with respect.” Said Celestia in a warm motherly tone, but I could tell that it was forced, she was clearly trying to resist letting her emotions out, unlike what she and her sister were doing for him a few, more happier, moments ago. Unfortunately, Blueblood was still being arrogant.

“Then that just means he is a filthy peasant instead of some dumb animal!” Blueblood exclaimed with arrogance. Oh my GOD! This asshole was really pushing my buttons! If this guy was typical of nobility in any universe and if there were more like him, I was really considering enacting a friggin’ genocide of all nobility and giving their possessions to the more deserving.

“Silence nephew! Your manners are deplorable and you should start behaving more kindly to others!” Luna admonished. Blueblood turned toward his other aunt and gave a hmph and a snort before actually ignoring her and turning towards his other, more favorite aunt.

“Auntie! Commoners shouldn’t even be allowed to sit near royalty! They need to know their place.” The ignorance and disrespect the so called prince was showing was not lost on any in the room, the prince ignorant of all the looks of hatred he was getting, especially from princess luna, who was all but wanting to grind her teeth at the arrogant little prick in their midst.

I was getting really angry at this point, as the god damned jackass was now turning towards me with pure loathing as he began yelling at me about something. I stopped caring and didn’t bother to listen to the probable insults the f@*%ker was saying to me as I willed my menu screen into existence, searching through my skills for something that would hopefully help me in this situation. I thought about shrinking the screen and moving it closer to my hand to hide my movements, which worked surprisingly while prince dumbass was still insulting me, not even realizing I was ignoring him. After a few seconds of browsing, I found a spell that I thought would work best in this situation.

Astal Hypnos: a spell used to put the target to sleep for a maximum duration of 9 hours. Any damage done to the target during this time will result in the effect ending prematurely. This spell can be used on a maximum of five specific targets or any targets within a circular area of 8 feet.

‘Huh? I didn’t think this spell was so useful. Maybe it’s different considering this isn’t a game. Oh well, I don’t really care all that much as long as it shuts the idiot up. I have a feeling that even if I killed him and get punished for it, the ponies and especially the princesses would consider me a hero instead.’

As I was preparing the spell for casting, the so called prince finally noticed that I wasn’t paying any attention to him, as the stuck up brat began shouting even louder.

“How dare you ignore me! You ignorant piece of filth! You will address me with the respect that I deserve or so help me I’ll…”

Blueblood suddenly felt himself getting dizzy, his eyelids slowly drooping as he tried to keep them open. The princesses noticed the strange magical signature flaring up again and realized it was being used on their poor excuse of a nephew. The other ponies stared curiously at the prince’s strange behavior. He was slowly losing consciousness, without any idea why he suddenly felt so sleepy as the prince fell muzzle first into the bowl of soup in front of him. The ponies stared wide eyed as the prince’s face was stained with the hot soup, spilling most of the contents on the table and on his body. The prince continued to snooze away, despite the high temperature of said soup scalding his face and parts of his body that were splattered with the hot liquid.

Both Celestia and Luna both stared at their irritant nephew to their new guest and back again before suddenly laughing aloud, startling everypony further. Shiro grinned at the two sisters. ‘At least I won’t get in trouble for punishing the little git.’ He thought with relief. When both sisters had calmed down, Celestia decided to speak once more.

“Thank you for that Shiro. I must apologize for my nephew’s rude behavior and to be perfectly honest, I thought you were about to get violent with him.”

Shiro laughed and shook his head. “To be honest, you’re right. I really wanted to hurt the little…” he stopped himself before he could curse out the prince. Knowing royalty that didn’t like to act all snooty and important was good, but it was still unwise to use profanity in their presence. He breathed out before continuing. “Anyway, I’m glad you both approve my method of silencing him. Although I’ve gotta admit, the guy really needs to have some sense smacked into him otherwise he’ll wind up dead or worse by someone he insults.”

Both sisters nodded sadly. “Yes we both agree whole heartedly. Unfortunately, such things haven’t been easy and most attempts fall apart half way through. We suspect that the only reason he gets away with so much is that our subjects associate him with us and they believe we would find displeasure with any who treat him badly.” They both sighed, while many of the palace staff were nodding in agreement or trying look away.

“Well, either way, the guy needs some discipline or else he’ll wind up pissing off someone enough to get himself killed.” My blunt statement got some gasps from the ponies present, except for the princesses, who were agreeing with me wholeheartedly.

I gave off a little yawn, which didn’t go unnoticed by the princesses and Celestia suggested that I retire for the night.

I smiled at her. “Thanks Princess. I really appreciate it. Especially considering I have nowhere to go or any idea what to do, I promise to be on my best behavior while in your country.”

Both princesses smiled at the human. “Thank you Shiro. From how you dealt with my nephew, I am convinced that you are not going to be a threat to my little ponies, even when they try to antagonize you. However, I must stress that while you are a guest in our lands, you must promise us that you won’t hurt any of the ponies or other sapient beings living here.”

Shiro nodded. “I understand Princess. I won’t start any trouble. I just want to try and find a way back home and failing that, I want to try and adjust to my new life.”

“Very well Shiro. Now, please follow me. I will escort you to one of the guest rooms.”

Shiro raised his eyebrow in surprise. “You don’t have to do that princess. I’m sure a guard or servant can show me the way.”

Celestia giggled. “No it’s quite all right. It’s about time for me to get some sleep myself and for my sister to rule the night. Speaking of which, are you ready sister.”

“Yes sister.” Replied Luna.

Shiro looked on curious as to what they were about to do. Both sisters’ horns suddenly began to glow and Shiro witnessed something that defied all logic. The sun quickly began to dip down into the horizon and out of sight, while the moon began to rise up in its place, the sky quickly becoming dark yet was illuminated by the full moon now out. It was officially night time and it was officially the time Shiro’s mind just broke. Unfortunately, this moment, along with any future incidents that caused Shiro to lose his composure would have an unfortunate side effect on his body.

With a puff of smoke, Shiro disappeared, leaving the two sisters and everypony else to stare in shock at the sudden appearance of the smoke. When the smoke in cleared, a new figure was visible and it gave everyone double the shock. Shiro had somehow transformed into a smaller version of himself. Those familiar with Japanese animation would know that Shiro had just transformed into a chibi version of himself and we all know that a chibi thing is just SOOOO ADORABLE AND CUTE! That thought appeared in everypony present in the room, even the stallion guards and servants. Needless to say, the mares’ reactions, especially the princesses, was far more severe.
Meanwhile, Shiro’s brain was slowly rebooting as he put a hand over his head and tried shaking his head a little to get everything working again.

“Ok. I did NOT need that…” suddenly he realized three things. One, he noticed the change in his voice. Two, he stared around him to find everything was bigger than before. Third and most importantly, there were girly shrieks of delight echoing all around him as he suddenly found himself being swept up into the air and into the hooves of both princesses.

“OH YOU ARE JUST TOOO CUUTE!!!” Both sisters cooed and squealed in delight as they hugged and nuzzled the now uncomfortable chibi human. Shiro tried to get out of their magical grasp, but quickly realized he was doomed to become their newest, squeezable plushie unless he did something. Willing, the menu screen into existence once more, he opened up the status button on the menu screen to find out more about his condition. As he read he current status effects that afflicted him, the more he disliked the circumstances.

Apparently, being in a state of extreme confusion and basically having his brain shut down on him after witnessing the day becoming night caused him to revert to this chibi form of his, but luckily, the effects only lasted for five minutes after the initial shock commenced. Further reading also told him that there was a spell to actually change his appearance to this, which would last longer, but the flavor text actually warned him of being subjected to female affection to a near dangerous degree when in this form, as evidenced by the fact two goddess like figures were showering him with affection. He endured their cooing and nuzzles and gushing over his apparent adorableness along with the other mares in the room while the stallions looked at him with a mixture of jealousy and resentment. Finally after five minutes had passed, another puff of smoke covered Shiro, surprising all of the ponies once again. The smoke dissipated, leaving a normal Shiro being sandwiched by the two princesses, who had ceased nuzzling him and jumped away from him embarrassment and the blushes adorning their faces evident that they had done something inappropriate to their guest.

“I apologize for our behavior Shiro.” Celestia quickly apologized while Luna was nodding her head fervently. “Your sudden transformation caught us by surprise and your new form was very um adorable.”

Both sisters continued to blush, blushing even harder as Shiro laughed at their own form of adorableness taking hold over him. Seeing as how they were still near him, he decided to seize the initiative and reached a hand up to each of the sisters, specifically, each of their ears as he gently began scratching them. All of the ponies in the room looked on in surprise while some of the guards actually raised their spears in anticipation at the enchanter until they lowered them with their jaws hanging down in disbelief. As for the two sisters, they flinched at the sudden contact of Shiro's hands on their ears, but as soon as the scratching commenced, they found themselves sighing in pleasure as the human continued to scratch the goddesses of day and night mercilessly.

After a few minutes of sexually implied noises later, most of the ponies in the room were blushing, the servants excusing themselves out of the dining room while the guards were blushing so hard that Shiro thought they were turning from white to red. He wanted to stop himself before the first minute had even passed, but every time he tried, he was subjected to tears and cuteness, forcing him to go back to scratching their ears. He thought that this would be a good way to have a little fun with the sisters after his little chibi incident, and while he was right in his assumption, the results were also awkward and embarrassing for all parties involved.

"I think that's enough for now Shiro," Celestia panted after both sisters were finally satisfied with just his ear scratching. Luna was unresponsive, a little drool running down her mouth. "I think it's time I escorted you to your room now and let my little get to work."

At this, the lunar princess quickly jolted back to her senses, a deep red blush tinging her blue coat, making it look purple as a result. "H-have a g-good night Sir Shiro, sister..." Luna trailed off as she quickly trotted out of the dining room towards the throne room to commence with the night court.

Celestia giggled while Shiro only stared off at the night princess. Shortly after, Celestia and Shiro made their exit from the dining room, down more hall ways of disturbing similarity. Every now and then, they would turn left or right in a seemingly random manner until at last they reached a hallway of doors.

"These are the guest quarters normally reserved for visiting foreign dignitaries, but I believe you definitely qualify as such Shiro." said Celestia with a light smile.

Shiro chuckled. "I suppose so. Well princess, despite the rocky start, I hope we can get along better in the morning as I learn more about this new world I'm in."

Celestia nodded and bid Shiro good night as she turned and with a sudden flash of light emanating from her horn, she vanished. Shiro stared off in confusion before shrugging to close the door. His new room looked pretty luxurious, fancier than anything he had ever experienced in his life. He walked over to the bathroom, also just as luxurious as everything he'd seen of the city and castle so far, minus the dungeon of course, and began washing his face and brushing his teeth. He opted to not bother changing out of his new clothes and simply plopped down onto the soft bed, and quickly fell asleep. He had had a long day and he didn't even have the energy to freak out over the situation. However, his dreams would not be so restful, as Shiro began to think about his current situation, even in his sleep, and began to slowly organize out a plan and method for dealing with it all. He knew there was a possibility that he wouldn't be able to go back home and if that situation became a reality, then he would at least have the opportunity to experience things no other human would ever experience in their whole life. Unbeknownst to the young nerd turned enchanter, a certain lunar princess would stumble upon his dreams and encounter much more than either of them would bargain for.