It was another uneventful late winter day.
Ribbon Red leant back in his chair as he flipped the pages of his book, slumping into a uncomfortable yet strangely unavoidable position. Even though his spine rubbed against the hard wooden back of the chair, and his flanks were hanging off the edge of the seat, he found himself unable to sit up straight for any length of time. It was a very slow time of the year, and he was bored out of his skull.
At Hearths Warming, he had plenty of customers. More than he could handle, actually. It was the best time of the year to own a gift shop.
Spring was a good time too. Lot's of birthdays, plenty of gifts to be sold, great for business and great for staying awake.
But between Spring and Hearths Warming were a couple of dreary, slow, and boring months that trickled by so slowly time may as well have stopped. His shelves remained unchanging and his stocks hardly diminished. Ponyville was either working hard, or feeling grumpy and miserable that the holidays were over. Ribbon included.
His eyes began to close every so slightly, and his focus drifted from the letters in his book to the window... a bad sign. He snapped himself back to attention. It was best to keep awake, keep sharp... he had promised himself to say awake that day, after all. If he got into the habit of sleeping through lunch again his whole routine would be thrown off, and then he'd end up going to bed at three in the morning waking up at one in the afternoon... it would be the end of him this time. Last year he had only just managed to escape the vicious cycle he had been trapped within...
I need coffee, he thought, or at least a walk. Get the blood flowing...
Despite his best intentions, however, Ribbon Red couldn't get up. His muscles failed to respond, and his brain felt trapped in a prison of inactivity.
There was only one thing that could save him from a horrible future filled with mid-afternoon naps...
Ding!
His eyes snapped open and his face lit up with excitement. A customer!
He slid off his chair, fast and fluid as a snake, and began to scan his shop for the new arrival. Was it for a birthday? A late Hearths Warming gift, perhaps? A baby shower?
His vision began to blur, but this time it wasn't out of fatigue. As Red's knees began to wobble, he realized that he had stood up much too fast: he was developing a headrush, and by the looks of it, a bad one too. One day he'd have to remember not to slump quite so much...
Before he was able to make out what his customer looked like, he stopped being able to see entirely, his vision replaced by a sea of sparkling dots. It took all of his control to remain upright, his sense of balance utterly lost.
"Uh... hi?" came his customer's voice. Red recognized it as being distinctly feminine... a little juvenile and cracking here and there, but definitely a mare.
"Yes, I'll be with you in just a second!" he told her reassuringly. "I can't see right now."
No instant reply. Was she hesitating? Probably.
"Uh... okay. Just, y'know, tell me when you're done," the mare said in a voice that suggested that she wasn't used to waiting. Ribbon Red wished his eyesight would come back soon... if he lost his only customer of the day because of a stupid headrush of all things...
But to his delight, he began to be able to make out shapes again. Slowly but surely, he began to take in the small details that made up the mare in front of him: a rather chaotic mane, two wings... a pegasus. She was a little shorter than average, but she looked strong...
The last thing to come back was his perception of colour, and there were a lot of them to be seen. She was mostly blue... sky blue, to be exact. But that mane... it looked just like a rainbow.
There was no mistaking it.
"Oh! Now I recognize you!" Ribbon exclaimed. "You're the one pony always flying around town!"
The rainbow-maned pony beamed. "So you've heard of me!"
Ribbon Red tapped his chin. "Well, I just see you around, really. Should I have heard of you?"
The customer rolled her eyes, in response. "Really? You don't get out much, do you?"
"Well, now that you mention it, I do stay indoors most days. Got to keep an eye on the store, you see..."
"I'm Rainbow Dash," the customer explained. "I fly a lot, save the country in my spare time? I'm kind of a big deal."
Any other day, Ribbon may have laughed at her, but the way Rainbow said it, like it was a commonplace fact, made him stop in mid-chuckle. As a result, he sounded like he was choking on something. Rainbow looked at him like he was about to keel over and die, wide eyed and confused. Ribbon sighed internally: today was not a good day for first impressions. Not at all.
"All right then, miss Dash, what might you be here for this fine... afternoon? Morning?"
Rainbow looked around the shelves. "Well, believe it or not, I came here looking for a present for somepony."
Ribbon nodded with approval. "Well, that is what my shop is for."
Rainbow peered at him, puzzled. "Then why did you ask what I came here for?"
"Well..." Ribbon began, stuttering slightly, "It's... polite." When Rainbow didn't seem that impressed by his explanation, he cleared his throat and continued. "Good customer service, and all that."
"Uh... 'kay. So, do you have any gifts for sale?"
"I might do," Ribbon told her teasingly. Keep the customer on their toes... keep them interested, keep them guessing. That was good salesponyship. Keep them alive, always wanting.
"Well... this is a gift shop," she replied, unaffected by his scheme. Ribbon sighed, and rubbed his eyes.
"Then why did you ask if we had any in stock?" he asked, annoyed. Apparently, his usual sales tactics would not work on this particular mare. "Ugh, nevermind. What kind of gift are you looking for?"
Rainbow perked up, finally glad she was getting somewhere. "Well, it needs to be cool."
"Uh-huh..." Ribbon muttered, encouraging Rainbow to continue.
"Very cool."
Ribbon hesitated. "... is that it?"
"Well, yeah." Rainbow jutted her chin forward aggressively, causing Ribbon to held up his hooves defensively.
"Okay, okay. I was just expecting something... a little more specific," he said, and trotted through his shelves. "What would you define as 'cool', per se?"
"It's like radical, but with a bit of a more subtle undertone," Rainbow explained. "Like cats. See, dogs are radical (I'm sort of a dog pony) but cats have this, like, calm..."
Ribbon's left eye twitched slightly. He considered himself a master of his craft, but this was just pointless.
"Listen, I can't help you if you can't give me anything to work with!" Ribbon exclaimed, beginning to get a little annoyed with the unhelpful pegasus. "More than cats and dogs, I mean."
Rainbow shrugged. "I already told you it had to be cool."
"Yes, but cool is subjective! Unless you mean temperature wise, 'cool' really depends on the pony's point of view."
"So you don't have any cool stuff?" Rainbow asked, despair warping her voice. "Why not?"
And of course, she missed his point entirely. Ribbon sat down heavily, realizing that he'd have to play this carefully if he didn't want to lose his customer. Then neither of them would end up satisfied. Forget good salesponyship: it was time to return to the basics. "Haven't you ever bought somepony a gift before?"
"Yeah, loads of times. But this time is different."
Ribbon suddenly felt like he was onto something. "Oh? Why is this time different?"
Rainbow hesitated. "Well, it's a very special pony's birthday soon, and... well, it needs to be cooler than a Wonderbolts poster, if you know what I mean."
As soon as she realized what she had said, Rainbow clamped her hoof over her mouth, as if she had just uttered a dark and forbidden curse. "Oh, horseapples! I didn't mean that! Wonderbolts are the best!"
"It's just that the pony you're getting the gift for doesn't think it would be a 'cool' gift, right?" he asked.
"Yeah."
Ribbon smirked to himself. So she did understand that 'cool' was subjective on some level.
"So you want this to be a gift she'll really appreciate?"
"Yeah! Exactly. Those words exactly."
Finally, Ribbon thought. It should be pretty easy to figure out what Rainbow needed from here.
"All right, then! What's this pony like?"
Rainbow hesitated, her eyes crossing ever so slightly as she stared at the floor.
"Go on!" Ribbon urged. Rainbow finally gave in, and began to smile to herself as she talked in an almost goofy manner.
"Well... she's... really pretty, okay, and then she's loyal, and kind and generous and super-honest... that's kind of her thing... and she cares about everypony and she always does her best and she's awesome and—"
Oh dear, Ribbon thought, she isn't going to stop. What kind of mare is this?
He held up his hoof, stopping Rainbow in her tracks. "Hold up. I'm confused. Is this 'mystery mare' just a friend?"
Rainbow's face fell as she was drawn back to reality. "Yup. Just a friend is all..."
Yes, and I'm the Queen of Trottingham.
Ribbon let out a sigh of relief, because despite Rainbow's downcast attitude, at long last, he understood what his customer wanted. "All right, I see. Okay, okay. Okay."
I like my friends as much as the next pony, but that wasn't how I'd describe a friend... I think. I don't really have many friends, now that I think of it... I should add that to my schedule.
He trotted back down the aisle, dragging Rainbow with him. So she wanted to get a gift for a special somepony, did she? And one she hadn't the nerve to confess to, at that. Well, that explained a lot. Now he just had to figure what she needed, precisely... Something sweet, something precious...
"...and she can be really funny, and let me tell you, she's built like an absolute machine..." Rainbow continued as Ribbon brought her to his more romantic section. Rainbow stopped talking and looked around at the pieces he had to offer.
"Uh..."
"Okay, now then," Ribbon began, "Can you tell me what this mystery mare of yours likes? Hobbies or pass-times or anything like that?"
Rainbow glanced around at the jewellery and cards sceptically. "Uh... apples."
"I'm sorry?" Ribbon asked, a little perplexed by the sudden lack of information. Rainbow nodded.
"She really likes apples."
"I might need a little more to go on..."
Rainbow's brow furrowed. "Look, it's not like I don't want to tell you, it's just... well, I'm not sure it's cool of me to go blabbing about my pals behind their backs..."
"Everything you say will remain strictly confidential," Ribbon declared. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stuck a pancake... uh, I forget how the rest goes..."
"It's cupcake. As in, in your eye," Rainbow finished for him. "And how do you know about the Pinkie promise?"
Ribbon rolled his eyes. "Oh, I know all about the Pinkie promise. She gets gifts for everypony around town, and you think she's never visited my store? Now, are you going to give me some more information, or what?"
Rainbow remained silent, her mouth opening and closing once or twice without making a sound. Ribbon groaned. "Okay, how can you like this girl so much and not know what she likes?"
"Hey, I know plenty! She just... doesn't have a whole lot of hobbies is all."
"How helpful," Ribbon dead-panned. Rainbow shrugged.
"She works a whole lot. She's really big about taking care of her family, so it's all she really does in her spare time," Rainbow said defensively.
And there was his information, Ribbon thought. Family, huh? This mystery mare was sounding increasingly interesting the more Rainbow talked about her. She wouldn't just like a pretty bauble, no, not this one... something special...
"All right," he muttered under his breath, eliminating several dozen items in his mind. Whilst he was thinking, Rainbow bounced up and down excitedly as she had another idea.
"Oh! She also likes hats. Well, one hat. Actually, never mind, she already has one..." Rainbow deflated, visibly cross at herself for not being constructive enough. Unbeknownst to her, Ribbon thought about the matter attentively. Gift after gift ran though his mind like traffic on the highway.
Hats, huh? He decided he could use that, too. With a dismissive wave, he trotted away from his 'romance' aisle. He remembered an old little something he had picked up last year... precious, but he had never found the right pony to sell it to. They had always been just a bit too bland to really appreciate it.
Rainbow trotted after him. Ribbon pulled out a stool and clambered on top, rummaging around for the specific piece he wanted. Rainbow looked around the aisle.
"Uh... okay..." she muttered. Eventually Ribbon produced the item he was looking for: a small golden circle attached to a pin. He tossed it down towards his customer, who caught it in her teeth.
"What's this?" she asked, holding it up so she could see it in the light. "Is... is it a badge?"
"In a sense," Ribbon explained. "It's a special one. It goes on hats."
Rainbow peered closer. There was an inscription around the edges in tiny delicate letters.
"Family is forever, I'll follow you wherever," she read out. Ribbon nodded excitedly.
"Good, isn't it? It's actually a little magical, believe it or not. It's the inscrip—"
But before he could finish, he was rudely interrupted by a short protest from Rainbow Dash.
"Isn't it a little... uncool?"
Ribbon almost felt like flipping a table whilst screaming. Why was it so hard to please this mare? "What do you mean?! It's the sort of thing you'd give somepony you care about! Isn't it? It describes your feelings exactly!"
"Well, yeah, but it's kind of mushy. I don't do mush."
Ribbon rolled his eyes and desperately tried to figure out how to explain things. "Yes, but that's exactly the point, isn't it?" he said as Rainbow's frown deepened. "It shows you care enough to... do mush."
"I don't get it."
"Well, then let me explain," Ribbon continued. "I've been in the gift getting business for a long time. It's not so much the gift in itself that's special, it's the significance of giving it to somepony. The act of giving and sharing and demonstrating exactly how much you care about whoever you're giving a present to. If your marefriend—"
"She's not my marefriend."
"...stop interrupting! If your 'special somepony' sees you do something... mushy... for her, then that makes the present even more thoughtful, see?"
Rainbow stood stock still, staring at Ribbon with simple eyes.
"Your logic is like ice-cream: it's sweet and all, but it really hurts my brain."
Ribbon wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. Eventually, he decided that it was best to call it quits and just go with the flow. He shrugged nonchalantly.
"...sure, why not."
Rainbow looked down at the pin, at odds with herself. Ribbon Red waited patiently for her to make up her mind: if Rainbow's confrontational attitude had taught him anything, it was that she wouldn't respond well to a hard sell. And besides, that wasn't the point: Ribbon was the best gift-getter there was, and frankly, the job was it's own reward.
"I... okay, sure, what the heck."
Ribbon punched the air victoriously. "Yes!"
"How much?"
"Fifty bits," Ribbon said, moving back behind his counter. Rainbow put on her best war face.
"Thirty."
"Fifty."
"Thirty-five or no deal," Rainbow warned. Ribbon smiled.
"You're not walking out on this deal," he pointed out, matter of factly. He never haggled: he knew he never needed to. If the gift was worth giving, it was worth buying. Rainbow hesitated.
"Okay, you're right, I wasn't going to," she admitted reluctantly. Ribbon grinned. He loved the feeling of being right. Rainbow handed his money over.
"Do tell me if she enjoys her gift, will you?" he said, contented. "I do like knowing if I've satisfied a customer or not."
Rainbow nodded. "Sure, if I remember." She turned to leave, tossing the pin from hoof to hoof as she walked.
"Also, you'll be able to tell me if it works out between you and your mystery mare," Ribbon added. "I always enjoy knowing if a customer was satisfied or not." Rainbow paused halfway to the door.
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, she'll probably figure out you love her after you give her that," Ribbon explained, a little hesitantly. "Because... well, because of the magical inscription."
"What about it?"
Ribbon recalled that he had been interrupted before he had finished explaining what the pin did. Once again, Rainbow's constant interruptions had slowed him down. He rolled his eyes, frustrated he had forgotten to explain the true beauty of the gift.
"Well, the inscription is magic, like I tried to tell you earlier. It says what you feel towards whoever you're thinking about. For example," he took the pin out of Rainbow's hooves and held it up to the light, squinting. He briefly wondered if he should perhaps get glasses sometime in the future, before he started reading. "She's a fun train-wreck, and a pain in my neck. That's you, by the way."
Rainbow took the pin back, suddenly far less enthusiastic. "Oh... well, I guess that's... a thing."
Ribbon nodded, slowly. "That's one way of putting it."
Rainbow looked at the pin a while longer, then smiled hesitantly, still conflicted. "She'll find out after this..."
Ribbon wasn't sure what was taking so long: surely Rainbow would be ecstatic at the chance to make her would-be-marefriend happy... the badge didn't lie, after all. She'd follow her loved one wherever she went.
So why did Rainbow look so disheartened?
He clapped, deciding it was none of his business. "Okay! Have a nice day, and don't forget to tell me how it goes!"
Once Rainbow had left, Ribbon let out a long, tired sigh, and trudged back to his chair. Once he had slumped back comfortably, he widened his eyes in shock.
"Sweet Celestia! Did I actually invite her to come back?!"
Spring arrived at long last, and slowly but surely, business picked up. Ribbon Red began having to do those things he didn't have to during the slow business period: check his inventory, manage prices, order new gifts, trade, and network with his clients. And like the good gift-pony he was, he did an excellent job of it.
Ponies get gifts... and I get money, he thought. Everypony is happy... and that's the magic of my occupation.
In fact, he did such a good job at selling his precious trinkets that he had almost forgotten about Rainbow's visit only a few weeks ago.
That is, until he heard a quiet little knock at the door, just after he had closed his shop. He trotted over to the window in order to point out that he was done for the day, and that whoever it was would just have to come back tomorrow... but then he recognized Rainbow Dash's distinctive mane.
And against his better judgement, he opened the door.
"Hello again... can I help you?" he asked, taking a good look at the young pegasus mare.
She looked like she had seen better days. Her mane was wet, although how she had managed that Ribbon didn't know: it wasn't raining outside. Her eyes looked red and her overall posture looked tired and weary. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was, or had been, sad about something, but given what little Ribbon knew about the supposedly famous pegasus, he really didn't know what it could be other than...
Ribbon swallowed. It couldn't be that mystery mare, could it? Had his gift failed—
"I came to return this," Rainbow said, and held out the pin, silencing his thoughts and confirming his concerns.
Ribbon stared at the magical pin in silence.
"Oh."
Rainbow saw his hesitation, and took a deep breath before trying again, more insistently.
"Well? Just take it."
Ribbon felt inexplicably depressed for some reason: perhaps it was because his gift hadn't had the impact he wanted on Rainbow's friend. Or perhaps it was because he remembered what the inscription said when Rainbow had read it weeks ago.
Either way, Ribbon Red felt crushed.
"Did she not like it?" he asked stupidly. Rainbow shrugged.
"I don't know. I... well, I never gave it to her."
Ribbon tilted his head to the side, puzzled.
"I chickened out," Rainbow explained. "I didn't give her her present."
"Well, what did you give her instead?" Ribbon asked, although he already knew the answer. Rainbow turned away, her eyes invisible under her colourful mane.
"I didn't get her anything."
Ribbon beckoned Rainbow to come inside with a concerned frown. He felt that, despite Rainbow's rather unhelpful nature, he owed her at least a little sympathy. He looked around his shop, wondering if he might have something he could use to fix this. At his core, he wanted to see ponies happy, and Rainbow Dash was most certainly not happy.
He couldn't quite think of anything in his shop that could fix heartbreak, however.
"Do you want to—"
"I really just want to give this back is all," Rainbow said. "You can keep the money, I just want to give it back." She held out the pin once again, and sniffed violently. "Somepony else probably deserves it."
Ribbon wanted to explain that gifts didn't work like that: they were meant for one pony, and one pony alone. The way Ribbon saw things, the pin wasn't even Rainbow's: it belonged to whoever she had bought it for, and she had no right to give it back.
But not everypony had the same views as him. He decided he'd try to convice Rainbow she was wrong: that gift needed to find it's way to the pony it was meant for.
"I think your mare would get much more use out of it than me," he said. "I don't wear hats."
"Then I'll buy you a stupid hat!" Rainbow snapped angrily. "How much? Ten bits for a nice cap? What do you want from me?"
Ribbon Red looked at the pin Rainbow held in her hoof. He could only just make out the inscription... And the he had an idea.
"Why couldn't you give it to your friend?" he asked, hoping his plan would succeed. Years of reading ponies and finding them what they truly needed was his calling, and his best skill wouldn't fail him now if he had anything to say about it.
"That's none of your business!" Rainbow exclaimed, but the badge told a different story.
I'll love you forever, but you deserve better, read the inscription. Too late Rainbow realized what Ribbon Red had done.
"Hey! No fair!"
So that was why. Even when 'chickening out', Rainbow was still doing it for the pony she cared about, and that took Ribbon by surprise. The pegasus looked like she was about to seriously lose her temper, but instead of exploding, she seemed to deflate, and with a half hearted sigh, explained her position.
"It's not like that. I'm a liar."
"I don't follow."
"I pretend I'm awesome and cool, and I've got pretty much everypony fooled, right?" she explained. "But I have a temper, I lie, I boast, and I'm scared all the time, I'm terrible with kids, I hate staying still, and I'm rude, and my whole future is flying as fast as I can, away from all my friends. Who'd want me?" She looked over her shoulder, as if somepony might be listening in. "She can take the stupid badge thing and that'd be fine, but if she takes me, then that's not a gift she deserves." She shrugged, her shoulders sagging. "AJ is all I said about her and more. She doesn't deserve a liar."
Ribbon gestured towards the pin. "Perhaps, but she still deserves that present you got her," he pointed out. Rainbow shrugged.
"Yeah, maybe... but she deserves somepony else giving it to her."
Ribbon frowned. That wasn't the point of a gift. It was the act of giving that was the point.
One last argument, he thought to himself. One more try...
"I know it's not my place to say, but if you're really prepared to let whoever it is go because you think you're not worthy or whatever, then chances are you're more than she deserves," Ribbon said. "I've seen a few ponies in love during my career: I've sold engagement bands, dresses and suits, and flowers too. Very few ponies come close to the devotion you're showing right now," he added. "Even if you are a childishly afraid of 'mush', a bit abrasive, a lot annoying, and very uncommunicative."
Rainbow grunted. "Thanks," she said, but didn't otherwise move, deep in thought.
"And for the record, you don't have me fooled," he said with a hopeful grin. "Have I convinced you?"
"Even if you did... even if you're maybe right... I can't do it right now. I'm not... ready."
Ribbon sighed, and took the pin from Rainbow, and stored it on his counter, done arguing. "I'm not taking this back. We have a strict no-returns policy. If ever you want to come back and give your friend the present she more than deserves, you'll know where to find it."
Rainbow glanced at the pin, and then at Ribbon Red. "...Sure thing," she said, and then trotted towards the door. "Y'know? You're a pretty cool pony," she admitted. "When you're not being confusing, mushy, and annoyingly irritating with your questions and stuff."
Ribbon Red couldn't help but grin as Rainbow left his shop.
*
Days went by, and Rainbow failed to revisit Ribbon's shop. Now and then, he'd see the mare pass by his store and pause, before shaking her head and continuing on her way, leaving him and her pin behind. Each time he saw her leave, Ribbon felt a little disappointed.
Winter slowly turned into Spring. A sudden explosion of business during Winter Wrap Up kept Ribbon Red on his toes. He saw Rainbow taking charge of the weatherponies, but she never even glanced at his shop. Ribbon didn't partake in the Wrap Up, though: he preferred to keep to his shop, and keep to his curios.
He didn't see her approach anypony, though. Apparently, she wasn't ready to stop being a liar just yet.
*
Most ponies were born during springtime, and that meant birthdays.
Ribbon continued to sell his gifts, glad for the business, but they rarely felt quite as heartfelt as when he found Rainbow her magical pin. It was as if they didn't care quite as much.
Ribbon couldn't help but feel a little empty every time he looked at Rainbow's gift: until it arrived at it's final destination, the transaction was incomplete. His first, and only, failed gift.
**
Ding!
Ribbon Red sprang to attention, shaking himself out of his gloomy reverie and focusing on whatever new customer had arrived.
"Yes, how can I help you today?" he asked, but froze when he recognized that dazzling rainbow mane.
"Can I have my pin back?"
***
"Thank you, sir!" the young mare exclaimed. Ribbon Red smiled happily: another day, another satisfied customer.
"Thank you, uh..."
"Scootaloo."
"Ah, right. Of course."
The mare trotted outside, holding her present between her wings. Ribbon Red could have sworn she was still a young filly only a few months ago...
Ding!
He adjusted his glasses to make out who his newest customer was. To his surprise, it was a pony he hadn't met before... but then again, even after years and years of living in Ponyville, he still didn't get out much. I really must add that to my schedule...
"Good morning!" he exclaimed jovially, and got to his hooves, making sure to get up slowly. He might not have stopped slumping, but he wasn't about to get dizzy in front of a new customer.
"Afternoon, actually," his customer corrected. Definitely a mare's voice, Ribbon decided. A bit low and deep, certainly, and with a bit of an accent, but a mare's voice nonetheless.
"Goodness. I'm afraid I tend to lose track of time. My memory is all over the place, I'm afraid," he explained. After adjusting his glasses some more, he saw his customer clearly: an adult mare, as he had guessed, with an orange coat and Stetson. An earth pony too, by the looks of things: no horn or wings in sight.
"That's no problem. I... well, I was wonderin' if you could help me find somethin'."
Ribbon nodded. "Of course," he said. He coughed. Keep the customer interested, he repeated to himself... "I may have what you're looking for."
The earth pony rolled her eyes. "I'm lookin' for an... engagement band. Might y'all have one of those?"
Ribbon coughed again... his health was getting worse all the time... and nodded. His usual teasing tactics would not work here. Strange.
"I have a rather large selection... In fact, I've always had engagement bands and engagement rings..."
"Can I see 'em?" she asked hopefully. Ribbon nodded.
"Of course, of course. I'll help you find just the right one. This is, after all, a very special gift," he said, and disappeared into the back room, leaving his customer waiting. He returned very shortly after finding a large box, which he opened on the counter. There were a dozen rings, and half a dozen bands. All of them were quite beautiful. The earth pony licked her lips nervously.
"I... they're wonderful," she exhaled.
"Do you have an idea which one you'd like? If you want advice, I consider myself very skilled at my craft."
"You ain't very humble, are you?" the customer joked, before shaking her head, embarrassed. "Sorry, that was mighty rude. I'm just a little nervous..."
Ribbon cleaned his glasses thoughtfully, and everything became one big blur. When had he lost his eyesight? He felt like he had aged much too fast, in his opinion. He was breaking apart.
"If you think I'm a little puffed up now, you should have seen me in my prime," he said. "I used to think I was the best gift-getter around. Heh."
He replaced his glasses and looked down at the rings.
"Well, can you tell me a little about your coltfri—"
"Marefriend."
"Ah, very well."
The customer took a deep breath. "Well, she's fun, and brave, and kind and generous, and even though she don't act it, she's real' caring and smart... and loyal too. That's sort of her thing..."
Oh dear, Ribbon thought. She's not going to stop, is she?
He chuckled, cutting the earth pony off. "That's a whole lot of things for one mare to be," he said. "But could you maybe tell me what she likes?"
"Flyin'," the earth pony answered, without even a moments hesitation. "She loves it."
Ribbon smiled. Flying: a common passion for pegasi. It turned out he knew exactly which band would suit his customer perfectly, and picked it out of the padded box carefully. No sense in breaking it...
"This one shall do fine. It's a really beautiful piece, and the edge is engraved with the patterns of clouds... really quite beautiful. It's slightly magical too... if you hold it to your ear, you can hear the wind blow gently..."
The earth pony smiled, interested and amazed. Her face fell when she saw the price tag. "One thousand bits... eh... you wouldn't have a cheaper one stashed someplace?"
Ribbon paused. It made sense that she didn't know he never haggled: she was a new customer. "I'm sorry, I only have the one, and the price is non-negotiable. I should know the price of a good gift, after all..."
"I know," the customer muttered, "I'm just in a tight spot right now..."
It was then that something caught Ribbon Red's eye... a small glint of jewellery nestled in the earth pony's hat. He narrowed his eyes, peering closer at the Stetson.
"What on earth..." he muttered. The earth pony leaned away slightly, but not before Ribbon recognized the pin.
"So you're her..." he muttered. "It's been years..."
"Beg 'pardon?" the customer asked. "I'm who? I'm Applejack."
"I don't suppose I could see that little badge closer, could I?" he asked. "I'm a little curious to see something..."
Applejack hesitantly removed the badge and held it out. Ribbon peered at it closer. "Yes, there's no mistaking it... what a coincidence," he whispered. "I have a small question... do you know a pony named Rainbow Dash?"
Applejack furrowed her brow. "You haven't heard of her? She's... well, she's pretty famous. So am I, actually, though I don't brag about it as much."
Ribbon was only half listening. In reality, he was reading the inscription on the badge.
My heart is yours, forever together.
"So she did end up asking after all... I had always wondered." Ribbon looked back at Applejack, and chuckled. "I see. Some new information has come to light which has made me rethink my original proposal. The band is now only five hundred bits. Can you afford that?"
Applejack beamed, surprised but happy. "I... yes, I can."
"Good. Then let's see to it that your... mysterious somepony gets the engagement band they more than deserve, yes?" he said, glad that after so long, he had finally reaped the rewards of his first, and only, heartfelt gift.
The End
Author's Note
This story came about because of two reasons: the first was I wanted to see if I could do an AppleDash story where neither Apple nor Dash are in the same room at any given time.
I also wanted to use the phrase 'your logic is like ice cream: it's sweet but also hurts my brain'. I don't know why I like that, but I do. I need help.
So, it's my usual cheery, dialogue-y sort of monstrosity that I like so much but not everyone else does, with a little of the serious in the middle. Since it's not outright meant to be comedy, I'm not tagging it comedy, even though (at least imo) some of the bits are at least chuckleworthy.
If you like my brand of AppleDash, please like, and comment what you liked best. If you don't like my brand of AppleDash, then go ahead and dislike, or better yet comment what you didn't like so I can improve it!
Cheers for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.
