The Chopcake Chopicles
A My Little CHOPPY fan fiction by Swimmingly “Herr Direktor” Choppingston.
Featuring the stylised writings of no body cus every body hates me.
“No pinkie please don't chop me” moaned Renboo Dash is shear ecstasy as pinkie pie violently chopped her.
“Nah I'm gonna chop you” panted a panting pinkie pie as she continued chopping.
“No pinkie I thought we were friends” cried Renboo as she was chopped.
“We are friends silly I've just been smoking a shit ton of meth” explained pinkie.
Suddenly Spanky ham burst into the room; he said “still think birthdays are cool” and then left.
“Oh if thats the case then I forgive you pinkie” said Renboo.
“Good I'm glad you understand, it makes chopping a lot easier when I don't have to feel guilty about it” replied Pinkie Pie, clearly glad her friend had understood her intention.
As the chopping became more and more intense both ponies started to get into their own separate grooves, Pinkie started smoking better meth and Renboo got chopped.
“Ahhh I'm glad i can use my masters in biology and psychology for something actually practical, in my biology lectures this was what is and will always be referred to as symbiosis or two things working together or more literally living together” Pinkie lectured through the chops.
Meanwhile in Ponyville.
“Oh gee where is that Renboo shucks ah’ll never figger that one ohut” mumbled Apple jack in a grumble.
‘WAIT I've figured it all out we said we would have some pie, what do you do to pie to eat it, you chop it and where are is made, the bakery pinkie pie is chopping Renboo at the bakery oh my word” with that Applejack set off in the direction of Ponyviles premier Pie, parties and pastries provider- Sweet apple ac- Sugar Cube corner. which strangely enough wasn't a corner made of sugar cubes.
After running for an undisclosed amount of time off screen Apple Jack had arrived at her destination, Sugar Cube Corner. “gee i wonder why they named it sugar cube corner it a'int even a corner made of sugar kewbs” she observed out loud.
Her peaceful thoughts were cut off as the distinct sound of chopping seeped through the floor boards of the building she wasn't even in yet, making the swift decision to chop the door down without so Much as checking to see whether or not the door in question was locked or open.
Just for the record the door was in fact completely open, Apple Jack had to close the door and then chop it down loudly in the middle of the day as numerous ponies gathered and onlooked surreptitiously and superfluously.
“Do y’all really not hear all them there chopping sounds coming farm that there basement?” asked an incredulous Apple Jack.
Back in the Chop Lab.
“Hey Pinkie Pie I love your work and all i get that you're and artist at chopping but do you think maybe we could get some music going?” asked Renboo in between chops.
“Oh yeah sure babe what were you after” Pinkie split herself into two Different Pinkies, one was left to continue the delightful task of chopping and the other proceeded to pull back a curtain on the side of the wall nearest to Renboo and reveal a very expensive and well equipped Mixing desk along with speakers the size of full grown stations lined up flush against the wall behind her aimed directly at Renboos’ face. Pinkie Pie Proceeded to press a positively pushable button causing the speakers in the Chop Lab to light up, but also activated a whole plethora of audio devices on the outside of the shop. These various other devices came to life and blasted the onlookers with steaming hot fresh doses of Pinkie Pie’s Chopping mixtape. This deafened them all except Apple Jack, who realized the futility of trying to expect an answer from these ponies.
Apple jack made her way into the shop, on her guard ready to chop anything.
Back in the Chop Lab.
“Hey Renboo this music good?” asked the DJ Pinkie Pie from her booth atop the raised podium on which all the high-tech audio equipment sat.
“Oh yeah its great Pinkie” Renboo answered.
Pinkie, being separated into two separate beings had trouble hearing this due to her hearing being from two points in the room but mostly because the music she was playing had exploded all four of her eardrums.
What Pinkie heard was “Hey Pinkie do you reckon you could chop my wings and cutie marks off, because i have a date with Apple Jack soon” Hearing that Pinkies secret lover was in fact engaging in romantic activities with a pony that was not in fact her enraged her.
“No why would i want to do that, make you pretty for your whore, you're mine babe” Pinkie angrily replied.
Due to the fact that Renboos hearing had also since forgotten how to function she heard Pinkie say “Do you want me turn it up?” and because she could not hear she assumed there was no music playing.
“Oh please” Renboo pleaded.
It was in that moment that Pinkie had her epiphany, if she truly loved Renboo and Renboo loved Apple Jack then she should be happy for her, because after all jealousy isn't very good.
“Fine for you I will” Pinkie answered lustfully.
“Thanks Pinkie I really appreciate you being so understanding with your chopping” purred Renboo in delight.
Unbeknownst to her Pinkie was advancing slowly on Renboos exposed wingset, being a set of wings, with her favourite chopping instrument.
Each step Pinkie took caused a reaction in her heart, the closer she got to her prey the more sure of her actions she was, and not jut in the Chop lab, but in fact her entire life.
No matter the situation she had always made the right choices and done the right things and now this was the proof…
BUT SUDDENLY…!
