Jump School

by Juntao112

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3398

All branches of Equestria's military receive airborne certification at Fort Withers, but inter–service rivalry and prejudices have always been a sore point in the barracks.

All branches of Equestria's military receive airborne certification at Fort Withers, but inter–service rivalry and prejudices have always been a sore point in the barracks.

Silent Knight belongs to Anzel. Read about his adventures here! Ask questions on his blog!

Published 2015-01-14 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-14 03:10:01 UTC

Off We Go

The mountain sky was bright and clear as Silent Knight touched his hooves on the landing pad of Fort Withers. A pair of saddlebags dropped onto the ground as he took a moment to catch his breath; flying in all the way from Canterlot in the dry winter air was no easy task. The surroundings were really quite scenic; a verdant mountain capped with snow, and a tidy military installation carved into the cliff–side. Platoons of airborne trainees ran along the perimeter of the base, or else did exercises at the behest of their drill sergeant on the field.

Sergeant marching down the strip,
64 stormtroopers on a one–way trip.
Mission top–secret, destination unknown,
Don’t even know if they're ever coming home.

Silent Knight bobbed his head to the cadence and straightened his dress uniform out before marching towards the barracks. Tomorrow, he would be one of them. He could hardly wait to uphold the legacy of his family, and take on the additional–

Dirt filled his mouth as he went tumbling into the ground.

"Watch where you're going!" Somepony slurred from behind him.

He shook his head and saw a pony lying on the ground behind him, surrounded by gardening implements. The victim had unkempt azure hair, a dirty jacket that might have once been red, and the angriest brown eyes Silent Knight ever had the misfortune to meet. (Even worse than his father's after seeing his report cards in middle school.)

"Can't a pony straighten some flowers in peace?" His victim picked himself up from the ground and began collecting the tools.

Silent Knight fumbled with several as he tried to help. "I'm sorry, I was just looking around–"

The gardener snatched them out of Silent Knight's hooves. "I know you've got your head in the clouds, but you could spare a moment to look at the ground?"

When flustered and embarrassed, Silent Knight fell back on his old standby: apologizing a lot in a very respectful manner. "I–I'm sorry, sir. I was lost, sir. I was looking for the barracks, sir."

The gardener pulled out a silver flask and waved it towards a cluster of buildings nested against the mountainside. "Get outta my way."

"Yes, sir." Silent Knight looked down at his hooves. The apologizing usually worked. Usually.

A pegasus mare flagged him down outside the barracks by waving a clipboard at him. "Ah, Silent Knight. Welcome to Ft. Withers! Silent Armor told us you'd be arriving. He sends his greetings, by the way."

Silent Knight broke out one of his more charming smiles. "Thanks! I look forward to getting airborne certification!"

"Not that you'd need it, sitting around in Canterlot all day, eh?" She smiled and poked him in the ribs.

Silent Knight whinnied despite himself and promptly looked mortified.

"Aw, don't worry. It's not like I'm your drill sergeant." She tapped the patch on her shoulder. "I'm just the quartermaster. Name's Peony Fields!"

"Well, it's, um, very nice to meet you." Silent Knight performed an awkward bow. "I'm Silent Knight, and I was hoping to get a few more skills on my resume. Become a more well–rounded soldier and all."

"Whatever floats your cloud, kid," she grinned. "Your bunk's #33. Enjoy yourself while you can; there's an inspection before lunch, and I hear tomorrow's going to be rough!"

Silent Knight smiled back weakly and walked into the barracks to see that he was not the first one there; there was a small crowd of soldiers scattered around the room, each settling down in their assigned bunks. He strolled over to #33, and saw that he had the top bed; #34 below him was a lime green earth pony.

Well, there was no time like the present to start making friends. "And I thought I got here early! I'm Silent Knight!" He held out his hoof. " What's your story?"

The earth pony looked at him cautiously, before holding out his hoof. "Wavefront, Coast Guard."

"Hey, that's pretty cool! What are you doing – no wait, let me guess! You're doing this so you can parachute into water to save drowning ponies!"

Wavefront nodded and smiled. "Got it in one! You seem pretty familiar with our operating procedures."

Silent Knight stuck his chest out with pride. "I had a great granduncle in the Coast Guard, Chief Warrant Officer Arc Knight!"

"Sounds like you come from an interesting family. Want to talk more about this over some chow? If we hurry, we can get there before breakfast is over."

A loud grumble came from Silent Knight's stomach and answered the question for him. He blushed and stepped aside so that Wavefront could make his way out. As they walked towards the door, he felt a prickling at the back of his neck. A surreptitious glance around revealed that most of the other ponies in the room — a mixture of pegasi and unicorns — were watching them.

"Looks like they'll let anyone into para–camp these days," he heard one unicorn mutter.

Wavefront gave no indication that he had heard it and continued on. Silent Knight came to a dead halt and turned around to face the offending party.

"Is something the matter?" His father had impressed upon him the need to cultivate politeness in dealing with others in the army. Not only did it help to diffuse situations, it also served as a buffer against misunderstandings, and was a wonderful social lubricant.

The unicorn shrugged. "You know what I mean. You can fly, I can cast Feather Fall, but your friend will be the first one on the ground if his chute fails. Some ponies just aren't cut out this sort of stuff, you know?"

"Ignore him, Silent." Wavefront tugged insistently at Silent's wing. "You don't want to get into trouble before your first day."

Silent flapped the wing and swept Wavefront aside. "No, hold on, I'm really interested in hearing what this gentlecolt has to say."

He turned to the unicorn and fixed him with his family's special brand of steely–eyed glare, passed down from one generation of terrifying Knights to the next. (The secret, his father revealed to him shortly before he had left for boot camp, was to look the other pony right between the eyes, so that you would be immune to whatever they were putting out.)

The unicorn laughed in his face. "Listen to your buddy, featherbrain. You can't fly in here; I've got the advantage." His horn lit up and a pillow hit Silent in the face. "So buck off, Glory Boy. This place is for real soldiers."

Silent's nostrils flared as he slowly counted to ten in his head, like his father had taught him. Son, he had said, ]always count down when you're angry. It'll give you time to cool off and make the right decision. And if that decision is to buck someone in the face, you'll have thought out your plan of attack.

The brittle sound of a glass bottle shattering by the door interrupted his concentration when he reached eight; all eyes turned to the entrance as the gardener staggered in, with the remains of a bottle on the ground behind him. Silent Knight did not need to smell the whiskey on his breath to know that he was drunk. (It was a marvel that the cigarette between his lips hadn't turned into a flamethrower.)

"Pardon me." He made his way over to them on unsteady hooves, looking as if a good breeze might blow him over. "Couldn't help but overhear."

The unicorn wrinkled his nose. "Don't you have a weed to pull?"

The gardener nodded. "Yeah, reckon I do."

He took a long pull on the cigarette, and flicked it at the unicorn. It hit square on the nose, and elicited a cry of alarm from the victim, whose hooves shot up too late to catch the burning ember.

The unicorn never saw the right hook that laid him out across his own bed.

Silent Knight darted forward to interrupt the fight, but Wavefront held him back with both hooves. Despite all of Silent Knight's efforts to get free, it seemed as if Wavefront was rooted to the earth like an oak tree. They watched as the unicorn rolled around on the mattress in a vain attempt at reorienting himself.

The gardener calmly walked around them and squatted so the he was looking right into the eyes of the upside–down unicorn. "You think you're hot stuff, eh?"

He dodged a clumsy punch and grabbed the offending limb. The unicorn flew out of bed with a twist and was sent sprawling onto the floor. The unicorn's horn glowed as he brought himself upright with an angry snort.

"Look at the big warhorse," the gardener cackled. "Thinks he knows how to fight. Oh, you boys are too much for me. I nearly kill myself laughing every year at each lot. Makes me fear for the day Equestria really needs protecting, from the bottom of my heart."

The metallic screech of a bunk bed being dragged across the floor filled the air. It came barrelling through the air at the gardener, who jumped through the space between the beds with unnatural grace and punched the unicorn in the throat.

The unicorn promptly fell to the ground, choking on his saliva as the gardener circled around. "Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were fixing to do me harm. Ever hurt anyone, kid? Hey, you ever kill anyone?"

The dirty red jacket he wore shifted off of his flank to reveal a grinning equine skull. It was the cutie mark for ponies whose talent was combat, but everypony knew it only appeared after a kill.

"It's a beauty, isn't it?" The gardener leered, and, for a moment, bore an uncanny resemblance to his cutie mark. "I must have killed half a dozen ponies that day, one right after the other. Of course, I was in for more than just a day. I'm officially credited with 22 confirmed kills, but to tell you the truth, it was a lot more. That was just when I stopped counting."

He took a step towards the unicorn, who scrambled backwards on the floor. "So, son, let me tell you something about–"

"What in Tartarus is going on here?" Peony screamed from the door. "You! You can't just go around beating up trainees!"

The gardener looked between her and the unicorn on the ground. "Are you sure? Because I think I just did."

"I don't have time for this! I don't have time for you!" She charged in wielding her clipboard and began beating him on the head with it. "Out! Out! And if I see you again, I'll kick your behind back to the Stygian depths from whence it came!"

"No need to break out the poetry for my sake, I'm going." He made a brisk trot for the door, only stopping to pick up the smouldering remains of his cigarette.

Peony sighed and turned back to the trainees. "Well? What are you standing about for? You think this is a circus? Get back to–to whatever you were doing!"

"That's our cue," Wavefront whispered, as he herded Silent Knight out the door. "Come on, breakfast isn't over yet."

The food in the mess hall was, technically, food. It would provide a balanced mixture of nutrients, protein, fiber, and carbohydrates at a price that was very agreeable to the taxpayer. It was, however, an assault on the senses and an insult to the entire nation of Prance.

Silent Knight pushed his plate of Prench toast away, and watched as Wavefront inhaled it along with his own. "How do you stand this stuff?"

"I'm a growing colt," Wavefront answered, before draining a glass of its milk. "How could you not eat after flying all the way from Canterlot?"

"Too used to the haute cuisine they serve me," Silent grinned. "You know what they say about us Big Toy Soldiers."

Wavefront bit into an apple, sending juice flying across the table. "That you sit on your plots eating cake all day? Hey, it's better than what you think of the Coast Guard."

"Aw, come on. I'm sure laying on a beach developing a tan all day's great."

"Nothing like watching over Celestia's huge tracts of land all day."

Silent snorted into his milk. "Oh yes, a wealthy province of farms and forests."

"A bountiful backyard seen for miles."

"With lush, rolling hills."

"And firm fields with fertile plots of land."

The conversation descended into fits of giggles. Tears clouded Silent Knight's vision; through them, he could see that Wavefront was having no better luck. And other ponies were staring at them.

Silent didn't care. "So, uh, ey. I hope that scene back there in the barracks didn't put you off or anything."

"You mean the part where that guy insinuated that earth ponies should stay on the ground, or the part where the gardener beat the stuffing out of him?"

"Mostly the former. I didn't think you'd be bothered by the latter." Silent frowned. "It's not a problem, is it?" I mean, I was raised in the skies and never met an earth pony or unicorn until I left home, but...there's not a lot of jerks, are there?"

Wavefront looked away. "No. But even one's enough to ruin your day, if you let them. I try not to let them."

Silent Knight nodded. "Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. I hope it doesn't, you know, reflect badly on the others. They're good ponies."

"I understand that. And for what it's worth, you've been really nice."

"Thanks!" Silent beamed. "Anything for a comrade in arms. I'd hate it if you didn't want no more of army life."

Wavefront grinned. "Gee, but I wanna go home."

They stared at each other for a moment and sang in unison.

The soldiers in the Army
They say are mighty fine
And the Navy, Air Corp, and Marines
Keep 'em all in line

Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee, but I wanna go home

The sound of slow, almost sarcastic hoof clapping rang through the mess hall; they looked around to see Peony standing at the head of their table. Silent Knight wondered if they were in trouble before she spoke.

The stallions in the Army
They say are mighty fine
You ask for Humphry Brabant
And they give you Flankenstein

Silent Knight covered his ears as the chorus echoed through the room. He saw Peony looking at him expectantly, and stood up to defend his sex.

They say that in the army
The mares are mighty fine
Half are over eighty–one
The rest are under nine

Wavefront stood up and held the remains of his breakfast on his plate.

The biscuits in the Army
They say are mighty fine
One rolled off the table
And killed a pal of mine

A biscuit dropped off the plate and hit Silent Knight on the head; he immediately collapsed face first into the table, to rancorous laughter. He grinned into the wood; this was the best breakfast he ever had.

They treat us all like cattle
They make us march in line
When they give you fifty bits
They take back forty–nine

Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee, but I wanna go
But they won't let me go
Gee, but I wanna go home

Silent Knight and Wavefront found themselves sitting outside on the cliff after breakfast, idly staring at the clouds as they drifted by. Above them, flights of pegasi would occasionally dart out of the cloud formations, and training aircraft occasionally swept through the sky with a load of unicorns or earth ponies in tow.

"So." Wavefront plucked a long blade of grass and began chewing on it. "If you don't mind me asking, what's it like having wings?"

"Oh, it's great. They can scratch everywhere I can't reach." He ducked the hooffull of grass that was thrown his way. "Sometimes, I use them to fly, and there's nothing like the feeling of air rushing through you. It's exhilarating; you feel like you've been liberated from all of your worldly concerns."

Wavefront made a thoughtful noise. "Yeah, that's pretty much how I imagined it. I try to picture myself jumping off of an impossibly high diving board."

"Do you swim? For fun, I mean."

Wavefront turned on his side to show off the rolling wave on his flank. "Best you''ll ever meet."

"I'm surprised you're not in the Navy." Silent Knight immediately held his hoof up to his mouth. "Uh, no offense."

"It's cool. I thought about it, but I've always liked what the Coast Guard does. Police our waters, and help out ponies who get lost or into accidents." Wavefront smiled. "So what about you? Family tradition?"

"Oh yes!" Silent Knight puffed out his chest. "One of the longest; my family's been in every war Equestria's ever fought in! My dad groomed my sister and me for service ever since we could walk. He says that the day I made it into the Royal Guard was one of the proudest moments in his life."

"Can't blame him; I'd be pretty stoked too if my son was guarding Celestia."

"Uh, I'm actually part of Princess Luna's guards. Volunteered at my graduation ceremony when Captain Armor told us she needed one. My dad did not see that coming."

Wavefront raised an eyebrow. "Was he ok with it?"

Silent Knight shrugged. "Why wouldn't he be? A princess is a princess, right?"

There was a moment of contemplative silence. "My dad was a farmer. Said ponies didn't have any business in the water. Said we were supposed to set down our roots and stay grounded."

"Yeah, well…" Silent Knight swallowed his sentence and counted to ten. "You know what? That's just his opinion. He's trying to help you the best he can, but you've got to make your own decisions, and I think you made the right one. Heck, destiny herself put a sign on your butt saying so, didn't she? And I know you're going to be a great seapony. Your heart's in the right place."

Wavecrest broke out into a wide smile and hugged him. "Thanks! And you're going to kick flank at this airborne training. Come on, let's get back; we don't want to miss the preliminary inspection."

Nothing struck terror into the heart of a soldier more than the word "inspection". The drill sergeant would be satisfied with nothing less than perfection, and if they were convinced you needed more discipline, perfection would be far from enough to save your plot. Fortunately, Silent Knight's father had taught him exactly how to line up his gear, tuck in his bedding, and even the intricacies of ironing his dress uniform. (In fact, when he was ten, his father fully trusted him with ironing his dress uniform.)

"Your sheet's a little uneven on the left," he whispered to Wavefront.

"Thanks!" Wavefront frantically adjusted it in the few seconds they had left.

There was snickering from somewhere behind them to their right. Silent Knight turned around to see the unicorn from earlier using magic to tidy his bed up perfectly. He turned his back to the unicorn and helped Wavefront line up his sheet.

"Attention!" Peony barked from the entrance. "Drill Sergeant has arrived!"

Every trainee bolted to the foot of their bunk and stood so stiff that some were in serious danger of pulling a tendon. The dreaded steps of the drill sergeant slowly made themselves known, in a slow and metholodical beat. Silent Knight kept his eyes fixed straight forward and pinned on the opposite wall to avoid attracting any unnecessary attention to himself. He could see the troublesome unicorn from earlier out of the corner of his eye. He wore a cocky grin that suddenly disappeared as his face turned as white as his sheets.

Silent Knight chanced a glance at the door to see what was the matter. It took all the strength in him to maintain his composure as he saw the gardener from earlier step into the room, clean shaven and wearing sergeant's stripes on the crispest uniform he had ever seen.

The drill sergeant looked them over with an aquiline smile. "Welcome to jump school."