Zecora explains how Twilight made things go from bad to verse...
Zecora explains how Twilight made things go from bad to verse...
“Thank you so very much for foal sitting for us Zecora.” Rarity says, as her sister and the other cutie mark crusaders rush past her into Zecora’s hut. “I realize that it’s short notice, but my friends and I have to fight some new villain Twilight kept going on about this morning."
A crashing sound occurs from inside Zecora’s hut. “Oops, my bad,” Scootaloo says.
“To be honest, I was hemming this simply divine new dress for the fall fashion show in Manehatten, and I really wasn’t paying much attention to all the details, but I did get the gist of it.” Rarity continues.
A tinkling sound can be heard from inside, “I don’t think that’s gonna come out of the rug Sweetie Bell,” the voice of Apple Bloom can be faintly heard to say.
“Monster attacking ponies, fate of all Equestria.” Rarity continues on obliviously. “Honestly, it seems we have to deal with these sorts of things on a weekly basis.”
“Is it supposed to turn that color?” Scootaloo asks.
“In any event, we reeeeally appreciate this.” Rarity says hurriedly backing away, all the while favoring Zecora with one of her most dazzling smiles. (Smiles being even more inexpensive than words, especially when hiring a sitter with no notice... at four in the afternoon... on a Friday).
“Fare all of you well, and have no fear, no harm shall occur, to those you hold dear,” Zecora says, waving her hoof at the rapidly retreating form of Rarity. She turns and reenters her hut, surveying the damage. In the span of five minutes her carpet had acquired a new color, her three legged work stool now needed to apply for disability, and at least eighty percent of all of her glassware now had to be listed as ‘some assembly required’. Zecora was impressed at the carnage, in spite of herself.
As for the crusaders, before Zecora had even finished her examination, they had already assumed the position. All lined up neatly side by side, expressions of remorse and contrition seemly etched on their faces. As one they all looked up into Zecora’s unhappy face and said in unison. “We’re sorry Zecora!”
“Sorry you say in voices shrill,” Zecora sighs, and just shakes her head. “I’ll just add the damages, to your sister’s bill.”
“Yay!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom say in unison, while Sweetie Bell begins to look worried.
“Now you three sit, until I clean this room. Touch one thing more, and it will be your doom.” Zecora says meaningfully.
“Aww, but sitting is boring.” Scootaloo says.
“Really boring,” Sweetie Bell adds.
“The most boring thing EVER.” Apple Bloom moans.
“Sit quietly still, and I’ll tell you a story... perhaps one of shame, and not one of glory.” Zecora says as she begins to clean up broken glass from the floor.
“Oooh, a shameful story?” Scootaloo says with beginning excitement. “Who’s it about? Applejack? Fluttershy? Discord? Fluttershy AND Discord?”
“Who has been telling you tales at night?" Zecora says narrowing her eyes, "No, this story is about the pony called Twilight.”
The three crusaders all now face Zecora in rapt attention. Seeing the eager expressions on their faces, she sets down her dustpan, and in a fair imitation of Twilight’s voice, she begins her tale...
“My mane, oh my mane,”
said Twilight in vain,
“keeping it clean,
is just such a pain.”
“Each morning I wake,
and hop in the shower,
I shampoo and dry it,
and it’s fresh as a flower,
but then something happens,
something always unasked for,
and me and my friends,
face some daily Equest-chore,
back home then I trudge,
some new foe defeated,
tired and exhausted,
my energy depleted,
but can I relax?
Oh no, I can’t rest,
‘cause by now once again,
my mane is a mess.
Burrs and brambles,
leaves, twigs, and mud,
so off once again,
I go to the suds,
finally all done,
I fall into bed,
just to do it all over,
(oh my poor head),
If there was only some way,
to keep my mane clean,
to preserve it’s luster,
to capture it’s sheen,
There must be some trick,
or perhaps a spell,
I’ll check my library here,
and Celestia’s as well.”
So deep into the night,
Twilight looked long,
and found a solution,
in the wee hours of dawn.
‘Mane-tenance for Dummies’,
the title did read,
“By the princesses pet phoenix!
This is just what I need!
With the use of this spell,”
Twilight read on,
“all you’re mane and tail problems,
will forever be gone.
And the spell is so simple,”
Twilight said, hope aborning.
“I’ll just cast it now,
(yawn), and nap through the morning.”
So cast it she did,
and laid down for a rest,
(had she read the fine print,
it probably would’ve been best).
Later that morning,
she woke refreshed and revived,
but something seemed different,
that she could not well describe.
She felt lighter somehow,
not as encumbered,
but she soon shrugged it off,
and to the bathroom she lumbered,
her ambulations all finished,
in the mirror she checked,
to see if her spell,
had taken effect.
And the spell did it’s job,
what it said it would do,
for Twilight’s mane disappeared,
(and her tail was gone too),
“I’m bald!” Twilight yelled,
her eyes wide in shock,
it was just about then,
on her door was a knock.
“Hel-lo!” a voice called,
all cheerful and sweet,
“It’s me Pinkie Pie!
And I’ve brought you some treats!”
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!”
Twilight started to fret,
“Give me some time!
I’ll be down in a bit!”
Pinkie Pie thought it strange,
surely Twilight heard what she said,
When she finally answered,
there was a towel ‘round her head,
“Sorry Twi I didn’t know,
you were in the shower,
I can just leave these and go,
I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Pinkie, I’m so glad you’re here,
come inside, close the door,”
Twilight rushed her friend inside,
“I have a bad shock in store!”
Pinkie entered Twilight’s home,
Waiting to see what was wrong,
Without preamble Twilight dropped,
Her towel and makeshift sarong,
“Wow!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed,
“You shaved both your head and rump?
I must admit your head looks cool,
But your rear has just a stump.”
“Pinkie, it was a spell gone wrong,”
Twilight said chagrined,
“I need to find a counter spell…
Hey! No touching my read end!”
“Sorry Twi couldn’t help myself,”
said Pinkie with a laugh,
“It just looked so cute and stubby,
say, do you feel... a draft?”
Twilight looked up at her friend,
She didn’t mock or scoff,
But she had to stifle a large grin,
For Pinkie’s hair had all fell off.
“EEK! My mane, and my tail!
Calamity and woe!
My Pinkie sense no longer works!”
Said Pinkie, “I have to go!”
Pinkie ran off down the street,
Twilight said “this is outrageous!
Bad enough my hair’s all gone,
But apparently it’s contagious!”
“I need to find,” Twilight said,
“a pro at grooming magic,
someone who might reverse this spell,
before things become more tragic.”
“Of course! I’ll contact Rarity,
she knows every beauty spell.
I’m sure she’s seen this sort of thing,
And can counter it as well.”
So off to Rarity’s she went,
donning both cap and sweater,
But just before she left her home,
she wrote Celestia a letter,
Dear Princess,” Twilight’s note began,
“I hope you’re doing well,
things are fine in Ponyville,
except for one small spell.
I tried some magic on my mane,
Not my greatest plan,
Now all of my hair fell out,
But I’m doing what I can,
I’m leaving to see if a counter spell,
Is known to my close friend,
But if you can help in any way,
I’ll take all that you can lend.”
Twilight rolled her missive up,
And left it on the table,
Then she left a note for Spike,
to send it soon as he was able.
Out the door, into the street,
the alicorn made her way,
hoping to arrive by stealth,
she went by the back way.
What she didn’t know of course,
was she needn’t of have bothered,
because by now ponies had gathered round,
when Pinkie Pie had holler’d,
and to a pony, every one,
had lost their mane and tail,
and these ponies then of course,
let cry a hue and wail,
and naturally more ponies came,
to see what was the fuss,
and then these too lost all their hair,
(causing most of them to cuss),
oblivious to all this,
Twilight snuck her way to Rarity,
hiding what she thought unique,
unaware of it’s decreasing disparity,
Meanwhile Spike had made it home,
weekly groceries in his claw,
he caught sight of Twilight’s note,
as he raised gems to his maw,
“I wonder where she’s off to?”
Spike queried to himself in thought,
“I suppose it doesn’t matter,
I’d best to send this off.”
Now to be fair, Twilight couldn’t know,
just what it was she did,
having Spike to send the note,
complaining about her lid,
But no sooner, had the note caught fire,
and was sent as all their mail,
Spike noticed he felt oddly light,
he was missing his ridge scales!
Pile of spikes upon the floor said he,
“Twilight! I have to reach her!”
Then realizing whatever was in, and on that note,
“I just sent it to her teacher!”
Meanwhile, far in Canterlot,
Celestia was reading her mail,
when a note arrived from Twilight,
she then read it without fail,
A moment later, teary eyed,
she stared laughing loud and long,
a moment later her guard came in,
to find out what was wrong,
“Please find my sister,” Celestia said,
“and bring her here posthaste.
We must depart for Ponyville,
there is no time to waste!”
The guard then left, Blueblood walked in,
not bothering with decorum,
looking for some juicy gossip,
to alleviate his boredom,
“Oh Auntie,” said he, “what do you have?
A letter from your student?
Has she gotten into more mischief?
She’s not known for being prudent.”
A sly smile crept across the face,
of Celestia, and then...
she passed over Twilight’s note,
To her very distant kin,
“Oh my,” said he, “how scandalous,
I must tell all my friends.”
“Yes why don’t you go do that,” said she,
“and we’ll see how well THAT ends.”
Blueblood trotted of excitedly,
now lacking tail and mane,
as soon as he passed from hearing range,
the princess laughed again.
“Oh please DO tell your snooty friends,
this will be such a riot!
But the bald plague has once again returned,
there’s no way to deny it.”
Twas then Luna came running in,
her guard looked freshly sheared,
“Is this,” she gestured at the guard,
“the thing we one day feared?”
“Yes dear sister, once again,
some pony cast the spell,
the same I cast so long ago,
and it’s someone we both know well,
“Twilight?” Luna asked surprised,
“I hadn’t thought HER vain!
To think she looks in magic books,
for a solution to her mane.”
Ponyville, must be a sight,
ponies panicking in the streets,
and Twilight must be beside herself,
balding everyone she meets.”
Celestia said, “it’s probably true,
I’ll cast a locating spell,
so we can teleport to her,
with the story we have to tell.”
“Luna, please go get the book,
that is causing us this chore,
I wish Starswirled was alive today,
he has MUCH to answer for!”
“Of course dear sister,” Luna said,
“but please ease your haranguing,
for it wasn’t all that long ago,
that you did the very same thing.”
The sisters shared a private laugh,
both knowing what was in store,
while Blueblood spread the balding curse,
to all his friends, and more...
Meanwhile, back in Ponyville,
not trying to raise a din,
Twilight rapped upon Rarity's rear door,
and waited nervously to be let in,
Finally the door she answered,
“Why Twilight,” Rarity said,
Come inside, are you cold?
What is that on your head?”
Said Twilight, “Please don’t make a fuss,
but there’s something I need to know,
I messed my mane up with a spell,
do you know one to make it grow?”
“Why Twilight darling, I couldn’t say,
I’ve never heard of such before,”
Said Rarity, “is this a prank?
Is Rainbow outside my door?”
“No,” Twilight said in consternation,
“This surly is no prank!”
And with further ado,
off her cap she yanked.
“Oh my stars!” the unicorn gasped,
“It’s true your mane is gone.
Well, I’ll bring down my beauty spells,
wait here, I wont be long!”
Rarity went to find her books,
Twilight sat impatiently,
but then a knock came at the door,
“I wonder who that could be?”
She donned her cap, and checked the door,
outside was Fluttershy,
along with Applejack and Rainbow Dash,
and a still bald Pinkie Pie.
“Hurry up and get inside,”
Twilight said closing up the door,
“Where have you been Pinkie Pie?
And what's all the uproar?”
“Twilight, Spike said to hunt you down”
Said flustered Fluttershy,
“When he sent off that note you wrote,
all his ridge scales went bye bye.”
The implications of this fact,
shocked Twilight nearly senseless,
“You mean I sent a balding curse,
DIRECTLY TO THE PRINCESS?!?!”
Twilight sat down on the floor,
her face all set to cry,
instinctively her friends gave hugs,
and kissed their hair goodbye.
And that’s the tableau, poor Rarity,
saw when she came downstairs,
all her friends huddled about,
none of them with hair.
“Please tell me Rarity I beg,
have you found a cure?”
Said Twilight from her hair strewn floor,
Said Rarity, “I’m... not sure.”
“I’ve found a spell that does grow hair,
but... it’s not meant for a mane,
it’s actually for stallions,
but I’ll try it if your game.”
Twilight said, “sure go ahead,
by now things can’t get worse.”
So Rarity cast her new spell,
on top of Twilight’s curse.
Moments later Pinkie Pie,
rolled on the floor and laughed,
and then all her friends did join in,
Said Twilight “Are you all daft?”
But Rarity a mirror held,
so Twilight saw her face,
and upon her once clean muzzle,
a mustache and beard where placed.
They though to see their friend in shock,
but Twilight just sat and grinned,
for Rarity’s spell met Twilight’s curse,
and gave beards to all her friends.
Before anypony then could speak,
they all heard a loud boom,
as two ponies teleported in,
royal princesses now in the room,
Celestia and Luna,
saw their friends and grinned,
One looked at the other,
both said, “here we go again.”
Twilight got up off the floor and said,
“You both still have your manes!
That must mean you found a cure!
We can be ourselves again!”
But Celestia just shook her head and said,
“I cannot calm your fears,
We both are older than we look,
And have both worn wigs for years.”
And then the six, in utter shock,
stared as the two dis-maned,
holding their wigs for all to see,
before putting them on again.
Celestia held Twilight’s book,
“This has happened all before,
please Twilight look at the small print,
and you’ll learn one thing more.”
Twilight read the finer print,
and recoiled back appalled,
“Never ever use this spell,
sincerely Starswirled the Bald.”
“Oh Celestia, what have I done?”
Twilight wailed “is all hope really lost?
“My shortcut had too high a price,
and everpony has paid the cost.”
“Twilight, it’s true a mistake you made,
but a mistake is not a crime,”
Celestia flashed her winning smile,
“we shall fix it like last time,”
And lo the bald plague did spread forth,
across the pony lands,
and to Diamond dogs, and griffins too,
and roving dragon bands,
and well before a month had past,
all Equestrian’s had lost their hair,
and all also knew that Twilight,
was the one that made them bare,
and Twilight stayed at home and worked,
on duplicating wigs,
and so did other unicorns,
so folks could leave their digs,
but after months of labor,
all their work had finally ceased,
and that is why to this very day,
all adults wear a piece.”
“Wow Zecora,” Applebloom said happily, "that was a pretty good story."
“Yeah,” Scootaloo chimed in. “But can you imagine if it were a true story though?” And all three fillies began to laugh.
“Oh, Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and dear Scootaloo, whatever gave you the impression, that my story WASN'T true?” And with that Zecora reached up and removed her mane, revealing a smooth bald head. The three fillies screamed in alarm, and all bolted from the hut clutching frantically at their manes. Zecora had just finished putting her mane back in place and got as far as her door before running into Rarity who was just about to knock.
“Ah Zecora, I just saw Sweetie Bell and her friends run by, I hope they haven’t been too much trouble.” She said looking over her shoulder at the three rapidly retreating forms.
“Some broken glass, a stain or two, no more than young ones are wont to do,” Zecora says waving a hoof dismissively.
“Oh, and I meant to ask how your wig was holding up. I know it was a bit of a rush job, but I didn’t want you having to wait on it. Terrible luck when that potion blew up.” Rarity said in sympathy.
“My own fault for being careless, my own self to blame, for becoming hairless. But an accident is still no crime, it will grow back, all in due time.” Zecora said, unconsciously adjusting her wig.
“Oh I’m sure it will in no time at all.” Rarity said. And then in a quieter voice, "and do let me know if you get that Mane-tenance potion perfected, I for one will be happy to be your first customer.”
Zecora just nodded and smiled knowingly, the effect somewhat spoiled by the front of her wig falling down over her eyes.
