What happens when birthday scenarios are overheard by the Princess of Equestria(and the sun).

by Mindless Drone

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2862

When Hurricane reads a birthday scenario out loud, Celestia just so happens to overhear.

Have you ever read a birthday scenario? Well, this is the story about how Hurricane, a bored young pegasus stallion, reads one. The result is not pretty.
Many, many ponies fall victim to the cards. Too many.
Well. Only 31.

Published 2015-01-14 06:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-27 05:01:04 UTC

Only Chapter No Matter What.

     "Uuuuuugh." Hurricane jumped into bed, dreading the new day. He stayed up all night, and now planned to sleep the day away. Celestia's bright, burning sun could wait 'till tomorrow. Before he got too comfortable, he looked out the window at the sky, this side of his house still completely darkened by Luna's beautiful night. The waning moon was setting, making Hurricane feel a little depressed. The night was always his favorite time. Luna was always his favorite Princess. Celestia was too cliché, too queen-like.

     "Luna's just... beautiful. Like the night. She's also relatable. She's been gone for like, thousands of years, so she needs to re-adjust. Right?" Hurricane stared at the moon for a good three minutes, then crawled back into the bed. He thought he could hear the faint singing of the Princess of the Night, lulling him to sleep, and awake when the sky was yet again beautiful.

     Celestia paced in her room. She had nothing to do. She was bored, she was agitated, and she just needed to loosen up altogether. She did another lap around the room, then flopped on the ground in exhasperation. Sighing, she levitated a random book from her shelf. It was an address book. All of a sudden, inspiration struck. She levitated a card she had made years ago following a trend that seemed to be popular with her subjects.

     The top title read: "Birthday Scenarios. Choose your birth month, then your birth day,and have fun! She grinned a little as she skimmed the address book for names. She closed her eyes and stopped on a page. She landed in H, as the book went by first name. She skimmed the two pages, and stopped on a name. "Hurricane Bash. You're about to have a little surprise from Princess Celestia," she said. She folded up the card to fit in an envelope, sealed it in, and called a guard.

     The guard came galloping in. "Yes, Your Highness?"

     The Princess of the Sun rolled her eyes. "I din't know why you guards focus so much on formality. Please just call me Princess Celestia."

"Yes... Princess."

     Celestia smiled. "Thank you. Now. I have an urgent letter I need you to send to this address, as quickly as you possibly can. It is royal business to a civilian and it is of utmost inportance. No questions asked, deliver the letter."

     The guard nodded quickly. "Yes, ma'am! I'll get right on it!"

     Celestia levitated the letter to the guard. He took off to mail it to the correct address. As soon as he was out of sight, Celestia levitated a pillow to her position. "I'll just wait for Luna to-"

"Your turn, Tia!"

     It was Luna. She had called her to raise the sun. Celestia stood up very regally and trotted very regally to hr bedroom door. She opened it, and walked out to the balcony in which they raised and lowered the celestial bodies.

     In the middle of the day, Hurricane was awoken by a loud knock on the door. He groaned very loudly and rolled off the bed. He landed on his burgundy carpet with a loud THUMP! "Ow..." he said, before getting off his stomach and heading to the door. His mood already darkened by his midday awakening. "Who the hell is it?"

     The guard wasn't surprised. At all. He spoke through the door  directly. Sir, I am Princess Celestia's royal guard, Tundra. I have an urgent message from the Princess herself."

     "Oh shit!" Hurricane rushed to the door. "I paid my water bill, my electricity, and everything else! What message is so important for me?"

"I have no idea. The Princess asked me to deliver this no questions asked, so I won't ask any. Here is the letter." The guard pulled out the letter with his hoof. Tough to do.

     Hurricane took the letter in his teeth and backed out of the doorway. He muttered a muffled "fank you" and closed the door. Tundra the Guard For Celestia, raced back to the castle. His journey to Ponyville wasn't nearly as long as he expected. He hopped on a train and left.

     Hurricane tried at least five different ways to open the letter, but still couldn't get it. He tried his wing, and it wasn't strong enough. He tried his hooves. He couldn't grab anything. He finally went into the kitchen and brought out a butcher knife. He raised it high above his head, then brought it down quickly. He stopped mid-chop and put the butcher knife up against the letter and ripped one way. It miraculously tore, and tue card was safe! He picked it up, inspecting it for anything important. "A birthday scenario card?"

     Celestia sat in her room in her castle, grinning to herself. Her guard came by earlier and told her that the card had been delivered successfully. She thought for a few seconds, then decided to see what the pony had gotten. She stood up, walked to her door, phased through it, then teleported to Ponyville. She popped back into existence in front of the Ponyville Library. Looking around, she made sure nopony saw her.

     Celestia casted a spell on herself, making her look like a normal unicorn mare. She trotted around town, looking to see what had changed since her last visit. Nothing great had happened, just a few tables moved from one place to another. She smiled wider than she already was. She approached the address she had chosen, at random, to see what the pony, a pegasus stallion, had gotten. Maybe, just maybe, she could make it come true.

     Hurricane sat, staring at the birthday scenario card. He hadn't seen one in ages, and he certainly didn't expect one. Especially not from the Princess of the Day! "What did I do to get this..." he said to himself. "I don't remember anything that I did special... I guess she just sent it for shits and giggles." He read the card, skimming for his birthday. "November... November. Handcuffed to life with...?"

     Celestia was outside his window, looking in. "Oh boy. This could get funny. Imagine if his birthday were-"

"November Sixteenth."

     Hurricane found the picture associated with the sixteenth. "So i'm chained to life with..... Celestia!?"

     At the same exact time, Princess Celestia said "Me!? Uh... well then. I guess i'll do what I said I would." She looked back at the pegasus stallion. "I guess there's ponies that I would like less than him. Here goes." Celestia conjured a pair of hoofcuffs/handcuffs and put one on her left forehoof. She concentrated a bit, and the red pegasus stallion was teleported into the other pair.

     Hurricane was suddenly outside. His right forehoof was in a pair of handcuffs and je was standing next to a rather odd looking unicorn mare. He stared at her. "E-excuse me, but... would you mind?" All of a sudden in a different room. It looked like very royal. This looks like- OH MY CELESTIA!!! He was chained to Princess Sunbutt herself, Celestia. "Uh... Princess? Why are we chained together?"

"Did you not get this scenario?"

     Hurricane blinked slowly. "Does this mean...?"

     Celestia turned her head and sniffed the stallion. "You smell like Maple."

     Hurricane blinked slowly again. "Yeeeeaaah? I know...."

     Celestia experimented. She licked his neck. The sweet, savory taste of Maple Syrup embraced her tongue. "You taste like it too."

     Hurricane shivered. "If we're gonna be like this for the rest of my life, we might as well get acquainted. Hello, Princess Celestia. My name is Hurricane Bash, and I am a DJ in Ponyville. I'm from Caneighda originally, and I love the color red."

"My name is Celestia, you may call me Celestua, Princess, and when we're alone or with Luna, Tia. I love the color pink, and i'm from Canterlot. I'm the Princess of the Sun."

"Well, Tia, it seems these are gonna be long years."

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it."

This is gonna suck.

"I heard that."

"Really?"

"Yep."

     Hurricane sighed. Long years indeed, he thought.

"Heard that too."

"Will you cut that out?!"

I Lied!

     Stellar Bubbles, a pegasus mare that lived in Ponyville, was just your run of the mill scientist mares. She loved life science, brewing her potions, and just chemistry in general. Little did she know, her life was about to be twisted upside-down.

     Princess Luna, the Ruler of the Night, was just your run of the mill Alicorn who ruled over the night. She loved the darkness, and she loved to sing every once in a while. Just a song or two. Little did she know, her life was about to be... you get the point.

     Stellar was just walking along in the Ponyville marketplace, looking into shops every once in a while when she saw something that caught her eye. She would never step foot in a line though, which would only make her angry. Her impatience would drive her to anger, but it would fade quickly. As she traveled through the pathway, she realized she didn't check the mail that day. She turned on her hoof and trotted her way home.

"Celestia, do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Of course I do. Would I do it if it wasn't?"

     Hurricane frowned. A few months prior, he had been chained to the Goddess of the Sun, and had since come to be friends with her. He actually became a prime consultant for her in the weeks they'd been cuffed together. "Well, there was this, plus the Discord thing-"

"Hurricane, we don't talk about that."

"But-"

"No."

     Hurricane's frown deepened. "Alright."

     Celestia turned her head and smiled at him. "Plus, if I didn't send you that card, I wouldn't be able to do this." She licked his neck, savoring the sweet taste of Maple Syrup roll over her tongue.

     Hurricane yelped. He tried to pull away, but he had forgotten he was chained to her. "I thought we said we wouldn't do that anymore, Tia!"

"Couldn't refrain."

"Ugh."

     Celestia levitated the small letter over to the guard that had been waiting outside for ages. "Deliver this at top speed with no questions asked. Go."

     The guard sped off.

     Stellar had almost made it home when she saw a Guard standing at her door. She frowned, amd went over to see what the guard wanted. "Excuse me sir, but is there a reason you're standing at my door? I'd rather like to get inside," she stated simply.

"I have a letter to you from Princess Celestia. I do not know what is in the letter, so please do not ask."

     Stellar's eyes got wide. "What do you mean, a letter from the Princess? Have I done something wrong?"

"You tell me, ma'am."

"Well.... no. Why would I be getting a letter from the Princess?"

"No idea."

     Stellar stared at the guard for a bit longer, then took the letter in her mouth. She muttered a muffled "Fank hoo," and moved him aside. She opened her door and trotted inside.

     Princess Luna was relaxing on the balcony of the castle. She didn't much enjoy the sunlight, but she might as well utilize it untill she could raise her beautiful moon and replace the day. She loved the night. Obviously. She was the ruler of it. But it wasn't just that. It was the peace, the quiet that it offered. She could sing with unbridled passion and beauty, unlike the sun, which radiated power and royalty. Luna smiled. She loved being the Princess of the Night, solely because she didn't have to sing in front of ponies during the day.

     The sun began to descend, letting Luna know that it was her time to raise her moon. She stood up from her laying position, her horn beginning to glow. She closed her eyes, and let the power of being an Alicorn wash over her. She tapped into her deeper potential, and dragged the moon from the other side of the horizon into the sky above. She smiled, remembering that her sister's servant, Hurricane, enjoyed the night over the day. It was the one time Celestia unchained him, and he was free to roam as he pleased. He normally spent time with his friends, but on occasion would visit Luna instead.

     Celestia's job was done, she had lowered the sun for her sister's moon. She looked to Hurricane, who looked rejuvenated and energetic in the moonlight. She smiled as she undid the chains with her magic, and let him loose.

"Thanks, Celestia," he said.

     Celestia nodded. "You are free to go, Hurricane. Be back in the morning."

"Got it." He sped off.

     Celestia shook her head, amused by the young pegasus' enthusiasm to be free. She went back inside her quarters from the balcony by her, and layed in her bed. She closed her eyes, then drifted off into a peaceful, deep sleep.

     Hurricane, on the other hoof, raced to Luna's room. It had been at least a week since he had last hung out with the best Princess, in his opinion. He stopped dead in his tracks, arriving at her room. He knocked softly, and a soft voice came in from the room. "Come in!" Luna called.

     Hurricane opened the door, grinning. "Hiya, Luna!" he greeted her. "How're ya doin'?"

     Luna smiled at him. "I've been doing well, Hurricane. What brings you here?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to spend the night with thou, dearest Princess."

     Luna's grin grew wider. Hurricane was the only pony in the castle that could speak in Old Dialect. He also spoke Prench, one of her favourite languages. "Why thank you, Hurricane. I am truly honored by thy company. Tell me, how hasth thou day been?"

     Hurricane laughed. "My day has been phenomenal, your Highness. Thank thee for asking. Where shall we go for thine night, Princess?"

     Luna thought for a moment. "Why don't we go to the garden, young one? The author needs a break writing in what he calls 'Old English.'"

     Hurricane opened the door. "Shall we?"

"We shall."

     They trotted to the garden.

     Stellar Bubbles had opened the letter. It contained a small card, in which had the writing "Choose your birth month and day, and have fun!" Stellar frowned. "What's this about?" She racked her brain for information on why she would get a card like this. After one to two minutes, she realized something quite important. A few months ago, a stallion had dissappeared shortly after getting one of those cards. The whole thing was cleared up when it was found that he had just permanently moved to Canterlot. She shrugged. "Coincedence," she passed it off as, and searched for her birthday.

     Celestia, yet again, was spying on the poor unsuspecting pony that was about to feel her sense of humor when it went too far. She had enchanted the envelope that she sent the card in to wake her up when it was opened. She used an eavesdropping spell to listen in on what the pony had gotten. She smiled and played an old saying from herself in her mind. "Fun fact: all ponies cannot resist speaking aloud when they read. Some are just much quieter than others." She heard the mare speak.

"May first... what!?"

"What is it? Read it aloud!"

     Celestia's eyes got wide, but luckily the mare hadn't heard her.

"Married to Princess Luna!? No, no. That must be a mistake. Am I sure... yep. Married to Princess Luna. Wow. Thanks Celestia."

     Celestia wanted to make it come true, just for a day or two, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. For one, she was too tired. Two, this was her younger sister. She couldn't marry her younger sister to a random pony, especially without her consent. Celestia blanked. She didn't know what to do. Then she got an idea. She teleported to Stellar's house.

     She appeared right in front of the pegasus mare. Stellar yelped and fell backwards. "P-princess... Celestia? Wh-what are you doing in my home, your highness? I mean, no offense."

     Celestia grinned devilishly and warmly at the same time. "None taken, my dear. I just popped in to tell you that any scenario on that card can be yours."

"For real?"

     Celestia giggled. "Yes, young one."

"Any of them?"

"Any of them."

"January 22."

     Celestia raised her eyebrows. "So it shall be arranged."

     The Princess of the Sun closed her eyes, and weaved her magic through Discord and Stellar's minds. She interlaced them together, having them know everything about each other. She the teleported Stellar to Discord's current location.

     Celestia smiled and looked up to the sky or nowhere in particular. "That should make a fun trilogy. Don't you think?"

I sure do.