A Pony and A Hat

by The Hat Mann

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 8546

Trottingham born, Hattius Mann travels to the (supposedly) quiet town of Ponyville. With a talking Fez of all things.

Hattius Mann is a simple stallion.

Born and raised in Trottingham, he grew up to be a shy colt. So shy, he could barely leave his home without the eventual help of Therapy. Wanting nothing more than to be a face in the crowd, he made plans to move to the quaint, peaceful town of Ponyville. However a month before his scheduled train trip, something happened. Something so dastardly surprising, not even the Princesses could foresee it!

"Is he talking about me?"

No. I'm speaking about the OTHER talking Fez. Who do you think?!

So... This is officially a thing now. My first ever story on FimFiction. If you like it, you like it. If you hate it, you hate it. 'Nuff said.
I want to give thanks to Professor Tacitus, none of this would have been possible without him. The beautiful cover art was created by xStellar_Bubbles.

Published 2015-01-16 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-15 21:33:39 UTC

Introductions

I hate mornings.

You know when you have nothing to do for the entire day and can sleep in for the entire morning, you end up waking at five in the bloody morning. But it just gets better. When you have to wake up to the incessant ringing of your alarm clock at five or six in the morning, your bed becomes the most comfortable thing in the whole damn world!

Basically, I hate mornings. It doesn't help when you're on a train either.

I woke up to the piercing sound of a train whistle. Definitely worse than a alarm clock. My head immediately jerked up and before I could take in what was happening my hoof holding me up slipped off the seat, causing myself to fall off onto the hard floor. My initial reaction wasn't... The best kind. It amazes me how high my voice can actually go. So after a less than manly shriek off my end, I was greeted with a lovely wake up call with the floor. And then there is the feeling of pain from said floor.

"Ah. Damn it, my head is killing me!"

Hi there, the name's Hattius Mann. Have you heard of me? No? Perfect! I'm the type of guy that likes to keep a low profile. And when I say low I mean 'Journey to the Center of Equus' type low.

I'm a pretty average pony. A red coat, (or is it burgundy? I could never figure that out.) Light blue eyes, blonde mane and tail, being a unicorn. Nothing really stands out except for my cutie mark and choice of clothing. I'm not MLG at gaming but I think its more about game design than anything else. And a Fez is not really considered 'normal' for clothing, I think that's rubbish. I'm always seeing pictures of models wearing the most ridiculous looking outfits in the newspapers these days. The creators use the age old excuse of 'I use designing as a way to express myself.' I think it expresses that they're slight nutjobs. But that's just my opinion as I always say. Would be better though if I actually said it once in a while.

"If your gonna rant inside your head for the rest of the trip could you at least get back on the seat? I would help you but that shriek was one of the funniest things I've heard in my life."

I let an irritated groan leave my mouth as my 'friend' started to laugh his ass off. He came with me because he said 'I wouldn't be a good friend if I left you, wouldn't I?' That and he couldn't really say no either, you'll find out why later.

"Could you please be quiet, I'm not in the mood for your comments right about now." I muttered while climbing back onto the seat and into a sitting position. I rubbed the sore area where I hit my head, I could already feel a lump forming. My friend gave a last round of chortles before replying.

"Please, you should be thanking me. The town is in sight, wouldn't want to miss your stop now huh. Besides, the view is amazing!"

I looked out the window and true to his word, there before my eyes was the quaint little town of Ponyville. The scene would have been perfect for a photo. The glowing sun rising in the distance, the town gleaming in the light, the grassy hills rolling on to the horizon. What caught my eye the most was the shining city of Canterlot, the residency of our nations rulers. Casting a shadow all the way down the base of the mountain it rested on. Sadly however I wasn't in the picture taking mood.

"So what? You can easily find a picture of Canterlot like this in a postcard." I said, not giving up my annoyance quickly.

"True, but its also where you met T! Sort of."

T. Probably should explain. T is my non-official therapist. He's the guy who helped me out of my comfort zone. I was a very, VERY shy colt. Terrified of ever speaking to anyone thinking it could possibly destroy my entire future somehow. I met him when I went on a field trip with my class to Equestria University. While walking through a hall (our teacher talking about nothing important) I saw a stallion who actually didn't look that much older than me, for a second I thought he was a part of the class that I'd never seen before. However he rushed past us, muttering something about 'being late' and 'this is my first day' and I saw he was levitating all sorts of notes and things for research probably. He didn't notice however that a little statue fell off the top of the pile of notes he had. For a second I thought it was going to shatter into a million pieces but luckily it just landed with a barely audible thunk. He didn't seem to notice however and kept on speed walking.

'What do I do!' I thought, my mind instantly waging war with itself. 'I should just stay with the group and not get in trouble, if he gets in trouble, that's not my problem' However I remembered the look on the stallions face. Slightly sweating brow, nervous eyes. If this really was his first day working here, this screw up could ruin his entire future career!
'Just like how I always worry about my future' I thought. A sudden realization hit me.

I knew what I had to do.

I ran over to the small statue and carefully picked it up with my mouth. I thought about using my magic to carry it but I was worried I might drop it if I lost concentration. I started to run after the pony, my teacher either didn't notice or didn't care about my disappearance. I followed him over walkways, down long halls, I even ran past some of the students attending the school! However when ever I got around a corner, I would always only just see the end of his tail as the only indication of where he was going. All this running around was starting to give me a strange Deja Vu feeling of Benny Hill.

The horrific running finally ended (I was a tubby kid okay!) as I saw him just step into an unoccupied classroom, the door closing behind him. I started to walk up to the door, a nervous sweat suddenly starting to form.

What if he doesn't want to be interrupted!

I stopped in front of the door.

What if he wanted the statue to get lost!

I concentrated my magic into the doorknob and started to slowly twist it.

What if-

"Excuse me, are you lost little one?"

My concentration and my magic left the doorknob. I slowly looked over to my left to see an earth pony mare with a dark blue coat and a curly purple mane and bright blue eyes. Her cutie mark was two stars; a small star that seemed to be basking in the glow of a larger star.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before I began to speak.

"W-well miss, the stallion in that room walked past my group and dropped this." I placed the statue on the ground and then held it up for her with my magic. She took the statue in her hoof and inspected it. She then giggled slightly.

"Its my boyfriend's, and knowing him he'll probably notice its gone in 3. 2. -"

"AHHHH! WHERE IS IT! I couldn't have dropped it, Its my first day and I lost the main research item! Celestia have mercy, I'm so in trouble!"

The mare giggled again. "I should probably go give this to him before he blows a fuse. What's your name kid?"

"H-Hattius Mann miss. I've come here with the Trottingham school trip miss."

She smiled again. "Thanks for your help Hattius." She then walked into the classroom and that was the last I ever saw of her. I proceeded to walk back to the group the way I came and luckily they hadn't gotten far. The teacher hadn't noticed my absence so I just took my place in the group and continued with the rest of the day like nothing ever happened.

These set of events however, would change the rest of my whole life.

Back to modern day now. Anyway about a week after, the stallion I helped wrote to me. (Does anypony else think its creepy that anyone can find you with just a name?) He wrote to me saying 'thank you for my help' and 'if I ever need anything, don't be afraid to reply.' I don't know why I did it but I replied speaking about my shyness and the problems it caused me. At first I thought he thought I was a creepy weirdo and would never reply. However a week later I got a letter back with a solution. Since then we've been pen pals of a sort. I'd speak about daily things and a problem I had and he would reply about his daily things and a solution. If your wondering about why I called him T its because when I got the letter, the mail mare clumsily dropped it in a puddle on the ground. Some words were only a little smudged. The signing looked like it got drowned and the only thing I could make out was a T. He must've thought it was a nickname or something as he just stuck with it. I was too nervous to ask for his name anyway.

Then there was that business when he didn't reply to any of my messages for several months a few weeks ago. At first I thought something had happened and my fears where confirmed when I got a short letter saying 'stuff has happened. Don't want to talk about it right now.' And that was it. I thought that he was never going to write to me again but I recently got a letter from him, apologising for his last letter and claimed that he would like to start swapping messages again. Naturally I agreed. In the same letter he went on about how I should try too make more friends, saying that 'they'll change your life for the better.' I replied that saying it wouldn't work in a place like Trottingham. Everypony always has somewhere to be. The last thing I got from him in recent months was a letter with a recommendation, key and name.

Ponyville

He was cramming all sorts of stuff into the letter basically saying how great it was. There was a photo of the town, it looked like something from a filly's mind. The place looked nice and I couldn't really refuse either. The key was for a house he bought for me in Ponyville. I mean who does that? Anyway he explained in the letter to 'just go to the town hall and tell Mayor Mare your name and she'll sort it out'. It also said that he was living in the town but would be out as he'd been asked by a few old colleagues to do a revealing at the Natural History Museum of Equestria in Canterlot. So I thought 'screw it' and one month later I'm on a train headed straight for Ponyville Stati-

The train came to a sudden halt in front of Ponyville Station. Me being lost in thought once again, didn't realize I was falling forwards into the floor again.

"Ah! My bloody muzzle!"

This once again earned another round of laughs from my 'friend' and even some of the other passengers. I grumbled some not so kid friendly stuff and rubbed my muzzle while using my magic to lift my saddlebags onto my back. Checking in case I hadn't left anything I placed my ~~beautiful~~ Fez atop my head and left the carriage when everyone else had gotten off.

By the time I got onto the platform everypony else was walking off to do whatever. I looked up into the clear blue sky to take in a deep breath of fresh country air. Smiling as I imagined all the possible future ventures I could have here.

I then looked back in front of me and my miserable face came back with a vengeance.

"Why do I get the feeling this could end horribly?"

"Because reasons my good fellow! That and ponies might think your crazy talking to a Hat."

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that my 'friend' is the Fez?

Author's Note

This took longer than I expected. I except any criticism you have to say.

I'm Pretty Sure Rainbows Don't Work That Way

"You're a real confidence booster." I replied sarcastically to the Fez atop my head as I began to walk out the station.

"I just say the truth! If I saw a pony who I'd never seen before talking to a Hat, I'd be a little bit scared."

I levitated the Hat off my head to give it a incredulous look while still walking. "You're a Hat. You can't really say anything. Besides, I'm the only one you can talk too anyway." A smug grin made its way onto my face. "Heck without me you'd still be stuck on that top shelf in that Antique shop, you need me."

I was expecting him to give me a snide remark or just ignore me but what happened next surprised me entirely. My magical grip on the Fez was somehow pushed off, I was expecting him to fall to the ground but instead he was suddenly encased in a golden glow. I looked around nervously in case anypony was watching, however we hadn't gotten far from the station and it seemed that everypony was mostly nearer the center of town. I looked at the Hat that was causing all the fuss "What are you doing?!" I asked in a hushed voice. "If anypony see's you, who knows what could ha-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence as he sent a very small arc of energy into the end of my muzzle. It felt like an electric shock so normally I'd just flinch for a second, but due to the circumstances the reaction was worse. I almost yelped again. It probably would have attracted half the town too if I hadn't shoved my hoof in my mouth. Shock and anger ran through as I released my hoof from my gaping maw, I scowled at the Fez as it lazily floated back onto my head plopped into a comfortable position.

"What was that for?" I said in an angry tone but made sure to keep quiet.

"True, you did get me off that shelf and a much better life and I am eternally grateful for that. However, I can take excess energy from magic users when they use... Well, magic! Thanks to being near a user of magic AKA you, I've regained my necessary power and can leave anytime I want too."

This halted my thoughts. Could he really leave if he wanted to? Now that I think about it the thought saddened me immensely. Sure he could be annoying, but overall he was the closest thing I had to a friend.

My face became sullen. "So why not leave? They are probably dozens of ponies out there in the world with more interesting lives."

"But that's where your wrong."

Confused, I looked up at the Hat that was resting on my head.

"Why am I wrong?"

He gave a long sigh. "You... Saved me basically. When I first spoke to you, you didn't faint, you didn't run off to get the Royal Guard, you... Stayed. You let me into your home and treated me as an equal being. Sure you were nervous around me at first but that is to be expected. You think you're useless and you'd be doing ponies a favour if you just stayed indoors all the time! You doubt yourself too much. But I see you for who you truly are Hattius, you've... Grown on me really, and I like to think of you as my only friend in these troubled times."

At first I didn't know what to say. But gradually, a warm smile spread across my face.

"I think the same way... Friend."

I don't know but I think he's smiling.

"Come on then, we can't just stand 'round here all day can we?"

He chuckled and simply replied "Lead the way."

I started walking further into town. I noticed more and more ponies, either shopping, eating or talking with friends. Some even said hello to me. I was slightly terrified for my life however when I reached the steps of Town Hall as I had noticed a few of the mares had actually winked at me. If they find a guy like me attractive then there must be a serious lack of stallions around here. I best watch my back.

"You're doubting yourself again."

"Well what do you expect me to do, ask them out?"

"That is a possibility, maybe you can find a lady for yourself in this smalltown."

I scoffed. "Yeah, that would end well. Hi! I'm scared to even leave my house sometimes and my only friend is a talking Fez!"

He laughed at my mock impression of me on a date as I stepped into Town Hall. Inside sat a blue mare with a red mane who I assumed to be a receptionist. She sat behind a desk and was typing away at a typewriter. I gave my best smile and walked up to her, slightly nervous as usual. She paused her work and looked up to me and gave me a welcoming smile.

"Hello sir, how can I help you today?"

"Um. Is Mayor Mare currently free? Or should I come back later?"

"You're in luck, she should be finishing with her latest appointment right about-"

She didn't get to finish as the double doors at the end of the hall opened and a stallion in a business suit stepped out with who I guessed was the Mayor. They shared a few quiet words and he was already walking out the door. Not without giving the receptionist and me however a quick nod of his head. I saw that she was about to walk back into her office, however she must have noticed me as her eyes were drawn to my direction. She gave me a warm smile and walked over.

"You must Hattius Mann" she said as she grabbed my hoof and shook it, her smile never fading. Unlike other town/city officials, her smile was genuine.

I was about to reply when my mind locked up on something. " Um... How do you know my name?"

"Don't worry, we won't have to talk about much. 'T' has already mostly sorted it out for you." She let go of my hoof and ushered me to her office. I looked back to her receptionist and she was giggling into her hoof and gave me an encouraging look as the doors to the office with me inside closed.

"Finally! Its good to be out of that stuffy office."

"We were in there for 10 minutes."

"Really? Felt longer than that."

After sorting out a few things that needed to be done like signing a few documents for my new house, I was made an official citizen of Ponyville. It got quickly boring and time seemed to come to a drag. But now I was out, I was completing my most important mission of the day!

Finding something to eat. But something else came up first.

"Emrys! That's my name!"

I stopped. "Wait what?

"Y'know when we first met and you asked for my name and for some reason I couldn't remember, well I remember now!"

"O-kay?"

"What? What's the problem?"

"It sounds like a weird name." At that moment, I suddenly got the feeling when somepony gives you the 'Seriously' look.

"I've been on Equus since the coronation of Celestia and Luna. What did you think my name was going to be? Chuck?"

"Wait, you've been around since the coronation of 1000 year old princesses?"

"Yes! And I'll have you know... What the hell is that?

This stumped me again. "What are you on about now?"

"Look up in the sky! A rainbow is forming out of thin air!"

Confused I looked up into the sky to see a beautiful rainbow forming out of thin air into a long trail.

"Oh, so it is." I looked back down to continue with my talking with 'Emrys' when I suddenly realized something.

Rainbows don't work that way. And as I looked back up into the sky, it led to my next ingenious comment.

"Wut?"

Author's Note

Next Chapter! Thanks to everyone who supports my work. Criticism is welcomed and I actually got the name 'Emrys' from a character in a TV show I loved and use to watch. Can you guess what its from? Hint: It only showed on the BBC and the show ended in 2012.

This Town Is Going To Be The Death Of Me

No words could describe what I was feeling so I resorted to asking. "Am I seriously seeing what I think I'm seeing right now?"

"Eeyup."

"Am I high right now?"

"Nope."

"Should I panic?"

"... Maybe."

"I'll decide against it." Panicking wouldn't help the situation.

Despite the fact that it was an anomaly that could be dangerous it was a beautiful display. The colours contrasted perfectly with the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. I saw some other pony's looking at the rainbow anomaly and they weren't panicking like I expected them to do. It looked like they were actually enjoying the display. Is it a natural occurrence?

"Do you want me to zoom in to get a better look?"

"Well that would- Wait you can do that?!"

"Now with 1080p!

Before I could ask what '1080p' mean't stuff got trippy. A faint golden glow appeared at the edge of my eyes and somehow I seemed to be zooming in at the thing that was creating the rainbow.

"This feels weird."

"Oh you'll be fine... But if your eyes fall out, it ain't my fault."

"WHAT!" I immediately covered my mouth as I forgot to use my inside voice. Miraculously nopony seemed to notice.

"Nothing!"

Eventually my sight found the thing I was looking for and it looked like... A pony? A pony, a pegasus by the looks of it was creating a rainbow trail as he or she flew! I was infatuated with this! I'd heard of the Wonderbolts making trails as they soared through the sky, but this pegasus was creating a fully coloured rainbow as if it was nothing!

"It's... Beautiful."

"Truly a spectacle. I wonder if... Oh that doesn't look good."

I noticed the problem too. Whoever it was they had gotten a little bit cocky and were doing little twirls in the flight. At first it looked well organised until suddenly they seemed to be literally spiralling out of control. The peagasus took a sharp right and was heading into the streets... And was coming towards me.

"Um Emrys."

"Yeah?"

"Is that pony about to collide with me?"

"Probably, I recommend a ward spell."

I casted a quick ward spell over my body. I ain't no magical genius but I knew the basics, but I realized something. Wouldn't it be easier to just step to the side.

"Emrys, wouldn't it be easier to-" I suddenly noticed that he was no longer on my head. Instead I saw him encased again in a golden glow and floating above me. I realized all too late that he had abandoned me.

"Oh you motherfu-"

"Incoming!"

I only got a second before everything went blue. I felt something hit me straight in the chest and I was tumbling through the streets with the mystery pegasus. We finally came to a stop and I felt a weight on my chest. I groaned as I opened my eyes.

"Uhhh, what hit me?

I blinked away the stars away from my eyes to have them widen in surprise. Laying on my chest was a young looking cyan coated mare with literal colours of the rainbow in her mane, that explains the trail I guess. She was... well I'm gonna do it how I would probably react. She's purty. I felt something fall onto my head to see Emrys there. I swear if he had a face he would probably have the biggest shit eating grin right now.

"Well this is one way for a meeting with the locals, amiright?"

"Shut up you. Oh and thanks for ditching me like that, could've helped y'know."

"Hey! I may be a thousand years old but I can still get squished easily and it would take FOREVER to get the creases out."

I was about to respond when I heard a groan and the mystery mare shifted a little. Her head looked up and her eyes opened. Oh Gods those beautiful magenta eyes. She blinked a few times and looked around, she then noticed me and looked down. I suddenly felt nervous being under her gaze, I was expecting her to give me crap for ruining her stunt. But what I got was so very different. A smirk found its way onto her face and her eyes seemed to be suggesting something I couldn't make out.

"Hey handsome. Getting a good luck are we?"

If I had been drinking I probably would have done a spit-take. "S-sorry ma'am. I just... Um."

She simply giggled but didn't say anything and continued to look at me with that smirk of hers. I didn't know what to do so I decided to try and sort out the situation.

"Could you um... Get off me please?" An obvious shakiness to my voice.

She giggled again and instead pushed her head forward until the end of our muzzles touched. "And what if I don't wanna?"

Emrys started to laugh his ass off again and I simply blushed. Maybe I should... Oh screw it. I used my magic to lift her off me. I placed her on the ground next to me as I stood up and brushed off the dirt on my coat. I looked at the rainbow maned mare and she had a pout on her face.

"You're no fun."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Maybe next time."

She took it well and simply chuckled. She then started flapping her wings and was quickly hovering over the ground. "The name's Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in all of Equestria AND the former bearer of the Element of Loyalty." She spoke with pride in her voice, obviously proud of her title. I would be too if half the things I've heard of the Elements deeds are true. She held out her hoof for what was obviously a hoof bump. Odd since that was a thing used between friends and we'd only just met a minute ago.

"Hattius Mann, common unicorn and bearer of a Fez." I tentatively bumped her hoof and gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry by the way if I ruined your stunt or anything."

She shook her head and gave a warm smile. "Nah, it's better I hit you than a wall. You basically saved me from a serious injury. By the way, your a very comfortable crash cushion."

She laughed as I blushed from her comment. She settled on the ground and took a step towards me. "So what'cha doing? Need help with anything since you're new here? And before you ask, I almost know everypony in Ponyville. Its easy spotting a new face here."

"Well I was looking for something to eat. Don't suppose you know any good places Miss Dash?"

She looked at me before suddenly bursting out into a short fit of laughter. She wiped away a tear and looked straight at me. "Firstly, don't call me 'Miss Dash'. It makes me sound old. Secondly, If you want good food then you've got two choices. A, Sugarcube Corner Bakery. Or B, Sweet Apple Acres Apple stall."

I thought about it a little while. Apples are good and all but my sweet tooth feels hungry. "Can we go to Sugarcube Corner Miss- I mean Rainbow Dash?"

She smiled. "Sure! While we're there we can meet one of my friends, Pinkie Pie. Come on, I can show you where it is!"

Before I could respond the rainbow maned mare grabbed my hoof and started half dragging me to this Sugarcube Corner. I didn't know what to do so I just clung on for dear life. Emrys was laughing even harder now. "I think you've found yourself a keeper there Hattius." That Hat can be really annoying sometimes.

We eventually reached Sugarcube Corner and the description 'it looks delicious' will have to do. It really did look like a Gingerbread House! By the time we reached the front door, Rainbow Dash had let go of my hoof (the feeling seriously missed) and was already waiting to go in when I stopped her.

"Excuse me Rainbow Dash but um... Are there going to be a lot of ponies in there?" Back in Trottingham there were always tons of little café's and Greasy Spoons that didn't have many ponies in. But this was a whole new town. What if nopony even likes me here?

Rainbow Dash must have caught on to my anxiety because she placed her hoof over mine and gave me a comforting smile. "I ain't a genius with words, but I have a friend I've known since Flight School. She is VERY shy. She even used to be afraid of her own shadow. But even though she doesn't know it, she's grown into such a brave mare. And I think you can do it too. You just need a little help from a... Friend."

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't known this mare for ten minutes and she was being nice to me as if we've known each other our entire lives. She took her hoof off my own and I looked up into her face. That smile and genuine kindness never fading. Her smile must have been contagious because I felt a smile form on my own face. I nodded to her a silent thank you and took in a deep breath. I pushed open the door.

Ponies sat at little tables littering the expanse of the bakery, they didn't seem to notice my entrance and I was okay with that. Rainbow Dash walked in beside me and gave me a quick smile before walking up to the counter. She rung a little bell on the counter and immediately a pink pony with pink poofy hair with a smile threatening to split her face popped around the corner and greeted the rainbow maned pegasus.

"Dashie! Its so good to see you! Hey have you seen two new ponies in town my Pinkie Sense has been going crazy since-" The pink pony looked over her friends shoulder and saw me giving a sheepish smile and a little wave.

"Well she seems nice."

Y'know what? Emrys' right maybe life can be better here.

"(Insert loud gasp here) NEW PONY!" Somehow the pink pony's smile got even bigger and before I knew it the pink pony was charging at me with the force of a steam train.

"Celestia preserve me!" And then everything went pink.

[Insert Witty Chapter Name About Mane 6 Here]

The sensation of a radical pink pony hitting me straight in the chest was worse than any fast flying stunt mare. Must be since I got knocked out. Definitely doesn't help my pride as a stallion. I must be waking up as I can hear voices now, either that or Emrys has a few new friends in this hat of mine. If that's the case then I'm pretty much screwed.

"Pinkie! We talked about this! No suddenly charging new ponies. You know that you can easily startle them with being... Well you!"

"I didn't mean too! It's just you know how I like meeting new ponies! And he has a cool hat too!"

"Pinkie darling, we understand. Just try to be a bit more reserved next time, it's unbecoming of a lady. But I have to admit, his choice of head wear is different, but not in a bad way."

"You need to be more careful Pinkie. You know how some ponies can be easily startled. Being surprised can be nice but being startled can be very... Startling."

"Am just surprised Rainbow hasn't started laughing yet. It ain't like ya to not like a good scare."

"Hey! For your information, he's new so it'd be mean to do that. Besides, he's a little shy so I thought I should try a different approach. BUT somepony had to screw that up!"

Who's that voice? Isn't that Rainbow Dash?

"A different approach?! Oh. My. Gosh. YOU LIKE HIM! You've never done a different approach for nopony! Not even when you met the Wonderbolts or Princess Celestia!"

Sweet heavens above can't somepony mute this girl?! And what's this about 'liking him'? Who is this 'him' anyway? No wait, scratch that. It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Are they really talking about Rainbow Dash liking me of all ponies? The world is going nuts.

"W-what!? No! He's just shy! Is such a bad thing to be considerate?"

I admit. My heart broke a little but it's expected. The silence however was quickly filled.

"Yeesh. A bit harsh but I was only kidding when I talked about you finding a keeper."

"Please be quiet right now, my head is pounding." I barely managed to speak it out. My throat felt drier than the Saddle Arabian deserts.

"Hold on, I think he's waking up."

I slowly opened my eyes but everything was still blurry so I had to blink a few times to regain my vision. When I finally regained the use of my eyes I was surprised to find myself on a bed in a room somewhere... With six mares surrounding me. Luckily I didn't scream this time. But I may have pulled my head back in surprise, unintentionally hitting the headboard which caused pain to explode at the back of my head.

"Owww! What is it about my head having to be in pain today?"

The mares all took a step back to give me some space except for Rainbow who stepped towards me and held out a hoof to pull me up into a sitting position.

"Hey Hattius, sorry about all this. Are you okay?" She had a sheepish look on her face. I guess I would to in a situation like this. However the orange, white and pink pony's behind had smirks on their faces as if they knew something. Probably still have the ridiculous notion that Rainbow Dash likes me. It made me chuckle for some reason which seemed to lift the overall mood of the room.

"Nah. It's okay. And I'm fine thanks. What hit me though? Felt like I was hit by a steam train."

Before she could reply the face of the pink pony once again filled my vision.

"That was me! Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! Do you like cakes? Do you like parties? Do you like cupcakes? Oh that reminds me, I still need to throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! What's your favourite cake flavour! Is it chocolate? Is it vanilla? Is it strawb-"

She got cut off as she was encased in a violet bubble, obviously magic and she was floated back to the group of mares with a sheepish grin while a lavender unicorn approached me- no wait! She has wings, so that must mean she's-

"Hello there, my name is Twilight Sparkle. My friend Rainbow Dash has told me your name is Hattius Mann correct? On behalf of the town here, me and my friends Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash welcome you to Ponyville."

I didn't know what to do. I've never been confronted by royalty before. She had pointed to her friends as she called out their names, they all either gave me a nod or a smile. I thought of an idea. At first it seemed stupid but these are all the Elements of Harmony so I guess I didn't overly worry about them thinking bad things about me really.

I got off the bed and stood tall in front of the princess. "Hattius Mann. Tis a pleasure to meet you Your Majesty." I bowed. Nothing too ridiculous like slamming my face into the ground like an ostrich. I then looked up into her lavender eyes and I took her hoof with my own and gave it the gentlest of kisses. Now I know this goes against everything I say about me being a shy guy. But I ain't the 'sweat buckets in crowds' type. Maybe when I was little but in Trottingham it's practicality law to be polite. I just studied the art a bit more than others.

Screw the haters. I can be dapper as fuck.

Her friends were in surprised silence and Twilight didn't seem to know what to do as her mouth just kept opening and closing. I realised what I had just done... And I literally felt my brain facepalm. Well if she kills me I at least got sat on by a beautiful rainbow maned pegasus. Luckily however she seemed to take it well as a blush came to her cheeks and she giggled.

"Rainbow told me you were polite but I never thought you were such a gentlecolt."

"Neither did I."

I scratched the back of my head and gave a sheepish smile. "Well I am in the presence of royalty after all."

She giggled again. "You don't have to call me 'Your Majesty' or 'Princess'. Twilight will do just fine. I've actually been expecting expecting you Hattius."

Now it was my turn to be surprised. "You have?"

"T told me you were coming. I've actually already got you a job in my castle, working in the new Library since Tirek destroyed the old one. Is it true you like to read?"

I remember telling T that even though my cutie mark is a video game controller I still like to read more than other ponies do. That must be how she knows. So I nodded.

"Perfect! Could you please come to the palace in a weeks time that would be great! Don't worry about funds, I've made some arrangements with Applejack so you can work on the farm for a few days."

The orange farmpony walked up to me and gave me a good pat on the back... And now I feel like I've just come out of Manehatten traffic during rush hour. "Don't worry about a thing sugarcube. By the time the week's over you'll be able to pull a cart twice your size! You'll also be able to have lunch with the family and ah know you'll just love Granny Smith's cooking."

Yay... My thoughts didn't help my now nervous smile but she didn't seem to notice.

"As much as I would like to continue our meeting with you Hattius gaining my castle brings some annoying complaints from some nobles about why they don't get their own castles. If you ever have any problems, my doors are always open. And again, welcome to Ponyville."

Her horn glowed for a second before she vanished with a popping sound. Leaving me with the five mares. Rarity walked toward the door and opened it. I could hear the chatter of ponies from downstairs and the smell of baked goods from the kitchen. The fashion designer looked back to me.

"I'm afraid I have to got as well darling, I have an order to fill out. Maybe we can talk over tea sometime?"

My nervousness seemed to be flowing away now. "Sure, that sounds lovely."

She gave me a nod and walked out the door and the other mares followed her.

"I'll see you at the farm at about eleven, get you an introduction of the farm and family. Just ask anypony 'round town, they'll know where it is."

Um, I have to go and see if my animal friends at home are okay. They can get a little rowdy if left alone too long. Maybe I can join you and Rarity for tea? If that's okay with you that is."

"I should probably help the cakes with some of their or- (gasp) I STILL HAVEN'T STARTED MAKING YOUR WELCOME PARTY!"

I waved off all the mares and said it was okay but Pinkie was gone before I could even respond. I chuckled at her antics and walked down the stairs and out of the bakery to be greeted by Rainbow Dash.

"Hey, I hope you didn't feel too pressured in there. I've got to go and help out with weather management but like what Twilight said, if you ever wanna hang out or having some problems you can look me up to. 'Kay?"

I felt a warm smile come to my face. "Thanks Rainbow, thanks for being a good friend."

Before she could respond I wrapped her in a hug. What can I say? I'm a hugger. I let go of her after about a second and she looks up at me. She's staring into my eyes now. She stays like that for a few seconds before her face suddenly turns beet red and she flies off faster than anything but not without saying "Okthanksbye!"

I looked up to where she had left a rainbow trail in her quick escape. "Was it something I said?"

"It's the Fez. Ladies love the Fez."

I rolled my eyes at his response. "C'mon, there's a grocery store nearby and I need a long nap."

Author's Note

Our hero and hat have met the Mane 6! I wonder what's gonna happen next!

Visions

Well this is... Odd. I looked at my surroundings to find I was in what appeared to be a castle. Definitely not Canterlot Castle. Even though I've never been in Canterlot Castle before, this place just felt... Foreign. I found myself in a long lit hallway. At the end sat two thrones. One was draped in golden and white silks while the other had silks of indigo. Two banners were held above the thrones with images of what looks like Alicorns. That's odd, they strangely look like-

"Just swish, and flick! Swish, and flick! You'll get it eventually but until then, keep practising."

Swish and flick? That's certainly an odd phrase. I remember that it use to be used in an old spell but its practically obsolete now. I turned around and I swear the sight made me rethink everything I've ever thought. Until I got bored of doing that, that is.

A little further down the hall and walking calmly towards me, a elderly unicorn stallion was with a young unicorn mare. The stallion and mare in question were instantly recognizable by any unicorn who knew there history. I'm glad I didn't end up falling asleep on the desk in history now. The unicorn stallion had a long white beard that would make even the spirit of chaos jealous. His mane and tail were also white while his coat was the colour of charcoal. His eyes were a mystic gold, seeming to hold countless years worth of knowledge and shined against the flickering flames that filled the hall. He wore a cloak and hat with all shades of blue, as well as being covered with crescent moons and stars. And bells. Lot of bells.

The mare had a white coat and her mane and tail was of two different shades of green. Her eyes were lavender, they actually looked similar to Twilights eyes. She wore a brown cloak with pockets that had a quill and scrolls while a piece of rope around her neck held up the cloak.

Starswirl the Bearded and Clover the Clever. Two of the most well known pony's in all of the history books. Starswirl was and I quote, 'the father of the amniomorphic spell' and 'the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era'. Over his life he created more than 200 spells and he apparently has a shelf in the Canterlot library of magic named after him. Clover was Princess Platinum's advisor, the leader of the Unicorn Tribe before Equestria's founding. She had a big influence on the actual founding of Equestria and was also the only student of Starswirl the Bearded. I must be dreaming. But why would I dream about them?

"Please, I've practically mastered all the spells! A simple motion isn't going to stop me."

"True, but this cocky attitude of yours isn't going to help. It's all about being humble and modest."

"Excuse me? Coming from you that's like saying Earth ponies can fly. You're anything but modest."

"Also true, but there's one difference between me and you."

They were getting closer to me. How have they not noticed me yet? I tried calling out their names but I came quickly to a realization. I couldn't speak. It felt as if somepony had turned my vocal chords into silly straws! I tried moving out of way but my hooves wouldn't respond, this my dream! I'm mean't to have control! I braced myself for when they were going to walk into me, but strangely enough instead of a collision, they went straight through as if I was never there. Dream or not I'm glad they didn't notice me, that would have been an awkward conversation to have.

"Oh really? And what's that?"

"I'm the teacher, so I can get away with it." He had a grin on his face as he looked at the mare while she bore one of irritation.

"But-" She didn't get to finish as the old wizard quickly booped her nose.

"Sorry. No arguing if I boop your nose."

"But-"

He booped her again. "No double buts either."

The wizard chuckled as his apprentice rolled her eyes in irritation. Clover was going to say something else when somepony else came from a separate corridor. He wasn't anypony I recognized though. He was also a unicorn while his mane and tail were brown his coat was of similar colour to Starswirl's, just a bit darker. His cutie mark was a wizards hat that also looked similar to Starswirl's, just less bells. His eyes were light blue, strangely resembling mine.

"Thought you two would be here. Not even patient enough to wait for me."

Clover and Starswirl looked over to the new stallion and simply chuckled. "Well if you actually had your papers sorted out then you'd be able to leave straight away. The lesson was about levitation, not organization. You're the only other student I have so how your being distracted only the heavens know."

Yeah, I remember reading that Starswirl did create the organization spell and- wait did he say student?

Starswirl suddenly put a hoof to his chin as he came to a realization. But he was still walking and he needed all his hooves to walk. So he used Clover's instead. She yelped as her center of balance suddenly broke but managed to hop along with Starswirl and the other stallion.

"Maybe I could make an automatic organization spell. Hours of work completed in minutes!"

The stallion chuckled at the wizards antics. "If you do that then my name best be on the spell book for giving you that idea."

"No promises."

"Could you please stop using my hoof as your beard scratcher!"

The two stallions laughed as Starswirl released her hoof and even though she was trying to keep an angry look on both of them she couldn't help but giggle herself. The trio kept on walking and talking past the thrones and were entering another corridor when the third stallion walked into a invisible wall while Starswirl and Clover kept going forwards.

"Hey guys! Wait up!" They didn't stop. Either they didn't hear him or are ignoring him. Surely they would have noticed his absence by now. He kept on banging on the invisible wall while Starswirl and Clover vanished into the darkness. He continued to do so until a sudden gust of wind in the room blew out the lights. Somehow I still had my magic and I instinctively casted a light spell, turning my horn into a luminous light. The unicorn left in the room with me did the same as I suddenly felt a chill go down my spine.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"How could you?!" You betrayed all of us!"

The stallion and I quickly turned around to see Clover but instead of the happy mare I saw before, she looked... Broken. Tears were running freely down her face and blood slowly leaked from a cut on her cheek. Even for all the physical damage I could see, nothing could compare to the pain I saw in her eyes.

"I'm sorry my boy... I can't do anything now."

I turned around to see the other stallion stepping away from a visage of Starswirl, he too looked broken from the whatever was going on. Tears fell from the stallions face.

"No... Not again!" He ended up right beside me but he couldn't tear his eyes away from him.

"You have violated laws in the highest act of treason. I am sorry, your fate is sealed."

We both turned around to see none other than Princess Celestia. Though she looked younger, her eyes spoke of sadness and betrayal.

"Hello friend."

This was the worst of the voices as it put all my hair on end and my blood to run cold. I slowly turned around with the mystery stallion and we looked at what was behind us.

I wish I hadn't.

Standing much taller than us was the spirit of chaos himself, though he was different. His eyes were glowing blood red and had two big teeth instead of one. He had a grin threatening to split his face while it showed rows of razor sharp teeth that gleamed in the light from our horns. My face was of one of pure horror, the same effect on the other stallion.

"Ready to make a deal with the devil... Emrys?"

I tried to scream but couldn't as he lunged towards us and darkness consumed my vision.

Author's Note

Dun dun dunnnnn! What a weird dream, totally irrelevant to the story though. Or is it? Wanted Hattius to have a dream and Starswirl to be in it because why not? Sorry about the long wait for this chapter anyway, every time I tried to sit down and do more, something else would come up. I'll try to make the wait shorter next time. All criticism is appreciated and thanks for being patient!