Large and Mighty, Extraordinaire

by Antsan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Science Fiction, Alternate Universe
Length: 1026

Six ponies and one dragon on two starships on the way to explore the universe

[description here]

These are loosely connected one shots written so I might get used to writing.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-22 13:16:11 UTC

Decision

There was no going back now, as much Applejack wished to do so. The ship was finished, every last thing was in place. It loomed like a monstrosity above her, all powerful, mocking her, as she wasn't able to do anything at all. The idea that she would be one of three ponies to command and steer this giant was ridiculous, especially in the face of how powerless she was now to change the fate that had befallen them.

She gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the laughter of Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. She pulled her hat into her face, seeking to hide it from the accusing glances of Rarity and Fluttershy.

She had already pulled all the ropes, had looked for any way to avoid the disaster that already had happened. They should have spent more time on this decision. They shouldn't just have rushed it. She should have listened to Rarity.

"Attention to detail," she thought. Yes, that certainly would have helped. As if it mattered. They were going to drift out into the endless void either way and the only ponies to see would be herself and her friends, nobody else.

That name had been a horrible idea. How could they have not seen it before? Why didn't they check with the varnishers? Why hadn't those paid attention when shortening it? Why had they chosen such a long name in the first place? Why hadn't they at least checked correct spelling?

Not that correct spelling would have changed much.

Of course there would be mocking. Maybe they would find other sentient species out there and that could mean all kinds of complications. In the end it would be just another ridiculous story, a footnote in history books, for little fillies to snicker at.

No. There wouldn't be any snickering. That name would become a legend! She would make it so that fillies would be whispering it in awe, arguing about who would get to play captain.

She gulped. It would be a hard task.

Once again she looked at the giant letters:

LARGE AND MIGHTY EXTRA - ORDINAIRE

At least it was more creative than "Speedstar".

Maintenance

Sometimes she wondered why Rarity, of all ponies, needed to be their engineer.

Of course, she had a knack for details. Of course, she had an idea of magical theory. Of course, she was nimble-horned. And yes, instead of Twilight sitting around the "Large And Mighty" all day, monitoring the engines, when she could be looking at rocks floating through space or examining back holes or whatever happened to happen outside instead was really not the best use of her time.

But the way she constantly complained about oil getting into her mane, pointy bits bruising her skin or rough surfaces ruining her hooves should probably have been enough of a reason to choose anybody else. Of course, neither Fluttershy nor Applejack, Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash had the qualifications and furthermore the latter two were also completely incapable of staying in one place the whole day.

Applejack wished she never had suggested to do the dirty work for Rarity. She was sure she wished to make this suggestion right now if she hadn't – it was the rare occurrence of a true dilemma, as far as she could tell.

It had taken her 30 minutes to come here, surrounded on all sides by pointy electronics with just enough space to crawl and plenty opportunity to rip off bits of her coat or bang her head on sudden protrusions. She wondered which sadistic asshole had designed the maintenance system. On the other hoof they had placed speakers every three meters. Applejack placed her hoof onto the one next to her.

"I think I'm here, – section 6-3-20! How do I recognize that thing again?"

Rarity sighed. Applejack scowled. Why didn't she just sigh before she activated her speaker? "The faulty SCD, Applejack, should be in slot D-24-6. Remember: D is currently your floor, so it is in the floor at the 24th…"

"Yes, Rarity, I know how to understand the coordinates and they are printed everywhere, so, I think I'll be able to find it!"

"No need to get worked up about it. The SCD itself is a stack of eight quadratic plates. Make sure to be careful!"

Applejack rolled her eyes.

D-24-6 was easy to find, a bit away from the speaker. Applejack pulled on the SCD. It didn't budge.

She pulled harder, which wasn't easy in the confined space, with only little ground to firmly plant her hooves. After pulling for a few seconds she instead resolved to trying to wiggle it around, intermittently tugging hard.

The SCD finally snapped loose. No wonder it had been stuck – with bent corners and splintered edges. It was a miracle this thing had been working at all in this condition.

Applejack crawled back to the speaker, placed her hoof and said: "Hey, Rarity, I got it!"

"Why did that take you so long? It's not like this is some kind of complex operation."

"A 'Thank you' would have been nice, you know? This thing was stuck and it seems to be mighty bruised, so I have an idea why it wasn't working right. I'm surprised it was working at all!"

There was a silence.

"Rarity? Everything all right with you?"

"'Stuck', you say?"

Rarities voice seemed to be a little higher than usual.

"Well, yes! I had to tug and wiggle really hard to get this thing!"

"'Wiggle', you say? 'Tug'?" That last word hat crossed a whole octave.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? It's not like it came off easily!"

Again, silence.

"I thought as much!"

"Applejack, have you ever, I mean, ever worked with any kind of hardware?"

"Uhm…"

"Do you have any idea about how precisely these things need to be positioned?"

"Well…"

"Did it maybe, maybe cross your mind that an electronic device in a constantly vibrating ship needs to be secured against falling out of it's socket?"

"That…"

"Why didn't you pull the lever?"

"I didn't see no…"

"I'm coming down there."