Happy Tuesday!

by Fluxxdog

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, Comedy, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2805

An off-hoof comment sends Twilight into a research frenzy that COULD MEAN THE END OF TIME! Or not.

Looking over some of her old letters, Princess Twilight thinks of her adventures. One in particular struck her as odd. She ran with a theory and found evidence that implicates what seems like an otherwise innocent day of the week.

Published 2015-01-14 17:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-14 17:20:02 UTC

A Day Like No Other

The guard burst into the throne room. "Your highness! We have an incident!"

Princess Celestia looked up from the report she was reading. If she was being notified like this, it had to be serious. "What's the matter? Is there an attack?"

Out of breath, the guard was panting. "I was sent by the Royal Archivist. She said Princess Twilight had been locked in the archives for the last couple of days. This morning, when she went to check on her, she was angry. It scared her."

"What? What has her so upset?"

"I don't know, but I don't think we're strong enough to take on a princess if she goes out of control!"

Celestia looked pained. Twilight must have been in a very bad state if the guards were afraid of her. "I'll look into it immediately. Maybe she's just looking for a forgotten piece of lore and hasn't found it yet." She stood up and started towards the archives. She paused for a moment, turned to the guard, and solemnly said, "Notify the Watch Captain. Tell him 'Protocol Epsilon-4' is to be enacted."

Celestia continued as the guard ran as fast as he could to find the captain.

Behind the solid oak doors, Celestia could hear paper shuffling, pages turning, and grumblings of frustration. Celestia could tell Twilight was mad. Still, if her friend had gone over the edge, it was up to Celestia to confront her. With that in mind, she knocked.

Everything went quiet.

The door opened normally. Not slow and quiet like she was afraid of being discovered. Not fast and loudly, angry that she had been disturbed. It opened as if one was getting a surprise visit from a friend.

Celestia let go of the breath she was holding. "Twilight! How are you?"

Being a princess meant a certain amount of poise, grace, style, and je ne sais quoi went into every move, word, and appearance. Twilight had none of those. She looked like she had been awake for 3 days without a proper meal or shower. Hairs were sticking out every which way. The bags under her eyes looked like they could carry a foal in each. Even her horn seemed to droop, though this was likely a trick of the eyes. Even with all that fatigue, Twilight just smiled. "Princess! It's so good to see you! You won't believe what I've discovered!"

What came next convinced Celestia of 3 things. First, Twilight was no threat, prompting her to quietly send a message to the Watch Captain to order the guard to stand down. Second, Twilight indeed discovered something as she began talking faster than Celestia could comprehend. Third, whatever it was was making her quite cross as she could hear the anger in Twilight's voice.

"Twilight, please, slow down. Take a deep breath and relax." Twilight stopped mid sentence and looked at Celestia. She did as she was told, raising a hoof to her chest and extending it as she breathed. Cadence's trick worked every time. "Good. Now tell me, what have you found and slowly."

Twilight sat and looked as if she was giving a book report. "Tuesdays are cursed."

The archive room was in shambles. Scrolls were everywhere. Dozens of books laid about and were open. Celestia knew the Royal Archivist would be earning some overtime cleaning this up. For now, she had a servant bring some tea and cookies. Celestia specifically instructed chamomile and mint as she felt it would only help Twilight calm down. Once they were comfortable, Celestia broached the subject. "So, let's start at the beginning. What started you thinking Tuesday are cursed? You don't believe in curses."

Twilight chuckled. "Yeah, but even I can't deny evidence. Curse may not be the right word, but it's the best I can think of right now. You see, I was looking over some of the old letters I had sent you. I remembered there were a few things I hadn't quite told you about, like the time I broke into the Star Swirled the Bearded wing."

"Wait," interrupted Celestia. "Why did you break in? You've had permission to access that area for some time."

"What? No, I haven't. That's why me, Spike, Pinkie Pie, and I went to the... but... then that..."

"Twilight, relax." She word quickly to soothe the younger alicorn's nerves. "I granted you access a couple years after you became my student. I'm sure I told you."

"I don't remember, Princess."

"Please, Twilight. Call me Celestia."

"Sorry. But, if I had known I was allowed in there, I would likely have been in there day and night!"

"Huh. I didn't think about that. Did I forget to tell you?" Celestia rubbed a hoof under her chin. "Well, that would explain why you thought you had to break in."

"I'm sorry." Twilight cast her eyes upon the floor. "It's just... I thought the key to stopping the disaster relied on a spell in the archive."

Celestia chuckled, "Well, it's past-Celestia's problem now. But what did that have to do with Tuesdays?"

"Well, I remembered your comment when you saw me in there. 'Good morning, Twilight! Love the new hairstyle. Well, Happy Tuesday!' I was thinking it was odd that it was a Tuesday. Well, at the time I was wondering why nopony was surprised to see me, but the other day Tuesday struck me as odd. I mean, why happen on Tuesday of all days?"

"It's as likely as any other day of the week, Twilight. A one in seven chance."

"That's what I was thinking at first. Then I remembered the Smarty Pants incident. That was on a Tuesday as well!"

"Twilight, two Tuesdays is a coincidence. Why..."

Twilight cut her off. "That's what I was thinking! Once is a single point of data. Twice is a coincidence. But I started panicking anyway! Spike told me I was overreacting. Well, actually what he said was I was nuts and it doesn't mean anything and besides somepony would have noticed by now. He was right. So, I went for a walk. I thought I'd visit Applejack at her stand in the market when I came across Cheerilee. We got talking about some of the things going on in the school and how they were planning a field trip. I remembered it was her field trip that caused Discord to break free and asked if that field trip was on a Tuesday. She said it was on a Friday because she wanted her students to have the weekend for any reports she assigned them. I started chiding myself for continuing that line of thought when she mentioned they decided on the destination on Tuesday."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I understand your line here."

"That's what I was thinking. I had a theory and only a hunch about it. I needed evidence to prove or disprove it. So I came right here!" She motioned to the collection of records. "If my theory held any water, there'd be evidence to back it up. I thought Spike was right and I was being paranoid at first, but then I started finding evidence. I even found this."

Twilight walked over to a book. Reading briefly, she levitated it to Celestia. "This is the personal journal of Luna before she was banished. Why it's here I have no idea. Look at this entry."

Celestia was hesitant to read it. She had it here to preserve it and hide it away. She keeps the archives as a matter of protocol, but nopony other than her would use it on a regular basis. However, she wouldn't dismiss Twilight's assumptions.

Something has happened. We are not alone. Not like we were. Something has joined us. It has cleared our mind of misery and replaced it with the rage we should be feeling. Rage at being ignored. Rage at the dismissal of our lovely night. Rage at that accursed sun that denies us glory! That rage gives us strength. And we will turn the strength against the one who has blocked us from our proper due.

But it is not enough to simply defeat her. No, our sister must be made an example of. On the day that celebrates her, all will be looking at her. They will see us defeat her, strip her of her power, cast aside like refuse. Only a few days until the longest day of the year.

Revenge shall be mine.

Celestia closed her eyes. She knew what caused that change in attitude. Before she could contemplate it, Twilight tapped the top of the book. "Look at the date."

Celestia looked at the old date, guessing where she was coming from. "I assume that's a Tuesday?"

"Exactly. I found many other examples. About 400 years ago, there was a spike in inflation caused by mishandled finances. 30 years ago, a shady contractor built a stage that collapsed and put 32 ponies in the hospital. Even the threat Chyrsalis made against Equestria? All of them trace back to a Tuesday!"

Twilight pulled another book out. "642 years ago, there was a wheat shortage. Wheat crop yeilds were down 53%. This was blamed on a river that was used to irrigate fields. The river had changed flow because blast debris for a silver mine had fallen into the river. The company that did the blasting bought the claim from a prospector. He had staked his claim on a Tuesday! I can go through at least a dozen examples, but you have to admit my theory is sound!"

Celestia closed her eyes. She thought for a moment before opening them again. "No, actually. There's a flaw."

Twilight just seemed shocked. "But... when... what... huh?"

"Twilight, think about it like this. If you flip a bit in the air, what are the chances of it landing heads or tails?"

Twilight shook her head. as if clearing out cobwebs. "Uh, 50/50."

"Alright. Now let's say I have a theory that, when I flip a bit, it will land heads up. Not all the time, but it will, at some point, land heads up. What would I need to do to prove it?"

"Well, that's easy. Just keep flipping it until it lands heads... wait..." Twilight paused and facehoofed. "In other words, the only reason I found things happening on a Tuesday is because I kept looking for Tuesdays."

"Exactly. In the case of the wheat crops, you stopped when you found a Tuesday. You could have continued. For example, when was he born? When did his parents meet? When were they born, and so on. Plus, that shortage wasn't that terrible. Other crops that irrigated from that river had higher yields, so nopony went hungry. Plus, we learned to diversify planting patterns to prevent a shortage of any specific crop like that again. I think that was also the year a new corn cake recipe was discovered. Won first prize at a baking cook-off."

Twilight hung her head. "Heh. You know, when you put it like that, I really panicked over nothing again, didn't I?"

"Twilight, you thought you discovered something that was bringing misfortune to ponies. Truth is, bad things can happen any time. What is important is how we handle them. As a Princess, that will become clearer as time goes on."

Twilight looked around her. "Right now, I should handle putting everything away. I made a mess of this place."

"Don't worry too much, Twilight. The archivist has her system built to make returning things easy."

"Oh I know. I helped her design it years ago." With a glow of her horn, scrolls, books, and paper started going back where Twilight had found them. In moments, everything looked as if it hadn't been touched, save for the dust now gone from everywhere.

However, one book remained. Celestia kept a hold on it. "Luna deserves her old journal back. I'll make sure she gets it. Just, promise me you won't tell her you read it."

Twilight smiled sheepishly. "Um, I'd rather be honest with her. I mean, I may have crossed a line without realizing it."

"Very well, but you don't have to tell her yet. She will likely be a little saddened to read some of the old things she wrote. I'd rather not shock her to reveal that you read it as well."

"Alright. I should get back home anyway. Spike is probably worried sick." And in a flash, she was gone.

Celestia looked at the journal and chuckled a little. "It's a good thing I didn't mention she had been here since Tuesday!"

A Day to Remember

"...and she just ate it in one gulp!" Pinkie was telling how Rainbow Dash had helped herself to Pinkie's personal cupcake stash. Discord was laughing and even Fluttershy, who was hosting their tea party, was giggling. "I mean, I love jalapeno-chocolate cupcakes with hot sauce frosting. Well, I like pretty much every cupcake but those are super duper yummy! Dashie didn't realize it until it was too late! I swear she had smoke coming out of her ears!" They laughed again, enjoying what Pinkie thought was one of the best pranks she pulled.

"Goodness, remind me not to eat any stray cupcakes you leave around, Pinkie," laughed Discord as he helped himself to another cookie. "Seriously, that's was quite a gamble. How did you know she would take one?"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash always grabs a cupcake. I tell her she should ask first, but she never listens. I never really mind, but sometimes I have experimental ones that the Cakes need tested and they don't want them tasted by anyone else until they're approved for sale." Pinkie swallowed the last of her tea and looked at Discord. "So, Mr. I-Can-Do-All-Sorts-Of-Crazy-Things, what was your favorite prank?"

Discord looked at Pinkie oddly. "How did you say all those hyphens?"

Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at him and asked, "What?"

"Uh, never mind. Greatest prank, eh? Well, that's easy. Did it just before the Two Best Sisters turned me into stone. I jinxed Tuesdays!"

Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at him and again asked, "WHAT?"

Fluttershy shook her disbelief first. "Are you saying you cursed an entire day? Why would you do that?"

"Why else, my dear Fluttershy? Tuesdays were boring." Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at each other, but before they could question him, he continued, "It's quite simple. Ponies and orange-striped cats don't like Mondays. The weekend is over. General discontentment and so on. Terrific for a spirit of Disharmony. I didn't need to touch that. I didn't touch weekends either because so much fun stuff happens. Fridays, ponies slack off their work thinking about what they'll do for the weekend. This cuts into the extra work they do on Thursdays because they were excited that the weekend was almost there."

As Discord sipped his tea cup, Fluttershy asked, "So that leaves Tuesday and Wednesday. Did you flip a bit to pick which day?"

"Oh, no. You see, Wednesdays are revered in Saddle Arabia. It's a reminder of the friendship or some such fluff that they share with the camels. I think they call it Hump Day. So, there was Tuesday, all left alone, nothing to make it stand out. So, I gave it a reason. I jinxed it so bad stuff would start on Tuesdays."

Pinkie and Fluttershy looked at each other. Fluttershy turned to Discord and asked, innocently enough, "But that sounds terrible!"

"Oh it was nothing major. Just harmless stuff. Like a pony might sit on a freshly painted bench or have too much pepper on their daisy sandwich. Funny enough, the first prank it started was quite the doozy. You'll never guess who the victim was." The girls just looked at each other, not sure if they would like the answer. "Me."

Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at him and yet again asked, "WHAT?!"

"Yes yes, the whole Elements of Harmony? Tia and Lulu found them on a Tuesday! I jinx it and it comes right back to get me!"

Pinkie scratched her head. "Sooooooooooooo the best prank you ever pulled was... on yourself?"

"Grand, isn't it? I never saw it coming!"

For a brief moment, they looked at each other, stunned. Then Pinkie started cracking a smile and giggling. Before they knew it, all three of them were laughing. After a while they calmed down and talked of other things. In the back of his mind, he thought of mentioning it to Twilight, but thought better of it. She'd probably try researching it to see how wide spread it was or something like that. Wouldn't want her to work herself into a frenzy.

Author's Note

There has been a few edits for spelling and grammar