“Bwahahaha! You serious!?” I fell on my ass laughing alongside Scruff and smiled at her before tussling her hair “Okay, let’s go and spar, Scruff, you want to come with?”

Scruff smiled and nodded “Yes, daddy, I’d love to!”

Donal nodded gruffly and went with me to the door as Pinkie and Maude arrived “Hey Caith! Where are you going?"

I pointed to Donal “I’m going to spar with him, Scruff is coming too, you want to come with?”

Pinkie nodded “Just let me drop off my things inside!”

Maud looked to Donal, who shuffled uncomfortably "Lass, yer starin' at me..."

Maud blushed "You smell like sedimentary..."

Pinkie looked between the two of them and smiled before whispering in my ear "She likes him! I've never seen her this excited to meet someone!"

I looked to Donal, who was shuffling and blushing as Maud intruded on his personal space "Lass, I am right flattered, but..."

Maud smiled and turned around, her tail flicking his nose as she sashayed to the door "My name's Maud, I'm Pinkie's sister."

Donal looked to me in a flabbergasted fashion "What's wrong with that mare?!"

Pinkie looked to me and smiled "Go on, I'll catch up!"

I nodded and waited by my house with Scruff and Donal, seeing that Dougan had made a burrow and was sleeping peacefully, I smiled and walked over to him to stroke his mane, which resulted in a loud purring. Donal smiled “Takes a brave man to tame a Manticore, lad, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Dougan woke up and looked sleepily to me before smiling and licking my hand “Hey, boy, how you doing? Wanna watch me spar with our new friend here?” Dougan looked confusedly to me before looking behind me to find Dougan, then turning back to me and shaking his head, going back to sleep.

Pinkie then came out and smiled at me before kissing me on the lips… she tasted like frosting and strawberries… “Let’s go Caith!”

I blushed and barely made out an affirmative nod before we made our way to White Tail Woods, finding Maddix and Zecora along the way, they were apparently gathering potion ingredients but agreed to watch the sparring match.

Donal looked to Maddix, who calmly sat on a log by his wife “What’s with the tin dummy?”

Maddix took out his holorifle and calmly shot at the ground near Donal’s feet “Who you calling dummy, ya glorified alcoholic?”

Donal stepped back quickly, avoiding the hard light projectile “Jesus Christ! What the bloody hell’s wrong with ye?!”

Maud looked ready to kill Maddix, but I firestepped over to her and put a calming hand on her shoulder before I walked between them and held out my hands “Now girls, your both pretty, but didn’t we come here for a brawl?”

Donal and Maddix huffed “Bloody metal git…/Damn boozehound…”

They then looked angrily to each other before I calmly smacked them both upside the back of the head “Now knock it off, or I’ll light your hair on fire!” The two quickly clammed up and went to their spots, Maddix sitting on the log, and Donal standing opposite me, inching away from Maud “Now, can we please just fight?”

Donal nodded and got into a balanced combat stance, while I drew my buzzaxe in one hand and a fireball in the other. Pinkie Pie came between us with a checkered flag “FIGHT!” The second Pinkie was back to a safe distance I found a hunk of rock flying at me, which I barely dodged before the ground beneath me began to shake, I looked to Donal and saw he was holding out a hand to me, or, more specifically, to the ground at my feet.

I flew into the air just before the ground beneath me erupted with sharp, jagged rocks, which would of severely wounded me had I not been airborne, as it was, one of the stones struck me in the wing and sent me spiraling to the ground below, I quickly recovered and chucked a fireball at Donal, only for him to raise a wall of soil that blocked it before the stones surrounding me turned into airborne sand, obscuring my vision, I released a swirling vortex of fire around me that turned the sand to glass right as Donal let loose with a flying roundhouse kick at my head, shattering the glass and knocking me backwards as I blocked it. “Damn, you’re tough, for a human.”

Donal laughed “I ain’t no human, boyo, I’m a conduit!” he then tried to hit me with another rock, but I grabbed it from midair and crushed it in my hand. “Ye aint half bad yerself, boyo. Tell me, what exactly are ye?”

I smiled “Me? I, my good friend…” I grabbed him and firestepped us a mile in the air before pile driving him into the very earth he used against me “AM WAR!”
Donal smiled as he sunk into the earth and left me sitting in a crater like an idiot, sensing the battle was not yet over, I firestepped out of the crater only to find a massive stone suit the size of a Stone Ogre rising from where he sank into the soil " Now let's get SERIOUS!"
As he said this, I felt the earth beneath me give and I fell due to my injured wing. Just as this happened, Donal began chucking boulders at me like softballs, I leapt from stone to stone until I was out of the hole as Donal laughed “Don’t think it’ll be that easy lad!”

I laughed as well “Wouldn’t dream of it!” I leapt up as Donal tried to slam me into the ground and sliced off his stone hand before running along the limb and slamming my axe down on his helmet, producing a large crack before I was knocked off of him and sent into a tree, his hand already reforming as the crack sealed. I then held out my hand to Donal and shouted “gunaar gol pusaas!” a blast of red energy hit the stone suit, reducing it to dust as I flung a fireball at him, making it burst before hitting him so he was coated in flame.

Donal began screaming “FIRE! FIIIRE! IT BURNS! OH, GOD IT BLOODY BURNS!” he jumped up and ran for a nearby stream before jumping in.
I then calmly walked up to him and held my buzzaxe right next to his throat "Do you yield, Donal?"

Donal smiled and nodded, his burns disappearing as he absorbed the dirt around him "Aye lad, I yield."

I jumped off of the stone armor as it dematerialized and returned to the soil from whence it came, and Pinkie ran to me, tackling me in a hug with Scruff joining a few seconds after her, Scruff smiled "You are so strong, daddy!"

Pinkie Pie giggled "You sure showed him!" She then looked to Donal and squeed nervously "Sorry..."

Donal laughed “No problem lass, yer hubby was right quick on his feet, I’m proud to call him me boss.”

Pinkie blushed "W-why d-does everypony think we're m-married?!"

Donal laughed and patted my back "Ah, lad, ye haven't asked her hand yet?"

I blushed and nodded before I looked to Scruff with a smile and taking her to meet my friends with Donal, Pinkie, and Maud following close behind as Maddix and Zecora went back to gathering ingredients after handing us both a healing potion, which we promptly chugged to heal ourselves, we walked to Fluttershy's cottage, finding her to be tending to Angel Bunny, who had a sore stomach from eating a bad carrot "Now Angel, you'll have to take this medicine if you want to get better."

Angel smacked Fluttershy's hand and face before turning away from her and huffing

Dougan growled and walked over to Angel bunny before pointing to the pill with his stinger as if to say "Take the damn pill, bitch!"

Donal saw Fluttershy and smiled "Top o' the mornin to ye lass! My name is Donal Mckoy, what's yours?"

Fluttershy eeped and hid behind her mane "M-my name is F-Fluttershy..."

Donal tilted his head "Eh? Gonna have to speak up lass."

I smiled "Her name is Fluttershy, she's the animal caretaker of ponyville."

Fluttershy blushed and nodded "Y-yes... I take care of the animals..." she looked to Angel, who had already taken his pill upon Dougans insistance "Th-thank you Dougan..."

Dougan purred and nuzzled Fluttershy before walking back to my side

Scruff looked to Fluttershy curiously "Daddy, can I be that ponies friend?"

I looked curiously to Scruff and nodded before she walked slowly over to Fluttershy and smiled "I'm going to be your friend, so you don't have to be shy!"

Fluttershy smiled and bent down "Are you Scruff? I've heard about you from the cakes."

Scruffs face soured, as if she had just tasted something extremely bitter "Yeah... they were mean to daddy... I don't like them."

I frowned "Scruff, they were just looking out for Pinkie, we can't hold that against them."

Scruff sighed and nodded "I know daddy... but... I think it will take a while for me to forgive them..."

Fluttershy looked to Scruff uncertainly "Um... I would be glad to be your friend," she turned to me and saw Maud "O-oh... w-who is this?"

Pinkie smiled "This is my sister Maud Pie!" she then whispered to her, making her blush "Oh...my..."

Maud waved "Hi." she then went to Donal and smiled "So, would you like to go out? I'd love to see what kinds of rocks you can control."
Donal sighed and rubbed the back of his head "Y'know what? Fine, Let's go meet those friends of Caith’s first though, I don’t break me word." He left with Maud and we waved goodbye to Flutters, even Dougan, who wagged his stinger in the air before following us to the ground below Dashies house, I firestepped up to her window and shouted into her house “OI! Dashy! UP AND AT ‘EM!”

I heard a crashing noise and out flew RD, looking scared as hell “Who in the bucking name of Celestia’s everloving name screamed in my window!” I coughed to get her attention, making her turn to me angrily “What the hay is your problem?!”

I made a contemplative gesture “Well, I’m in love with a pink pony that is almost my antithesis, I have serious anger issues, and I HATE needles and canned spinach, but those are the only problems I can think of.” I then pounded my fist in my open palm as if I just realized something “Oh! But what I wanted was for you to meet my… I guess you’d call him a bodyguard? His name is Donal Mckoy and he is a powerful being called a conduit, who I guess control the earth around them?”

As we landed in front of them, Donal smiled and shook RD’s hand. “Dia duit , láir Rainbow.” RD looked to him in confusion while I smiled at having another Gaelic man on my side. Donal laughed “I said, ‘hello, rainbow mare’ and conduits don’t JUST control the ground around them, some can control fire, others can control smoke, or neon, one especially powerful one could even control electricity… he’s dead now, though.” He looked as if he wished that was not the case, as if he would give anything for that to not be true… I decided to ask him about that later.

Just then Scruff shivered coldly, I looked to her in concern “S-sorry daddy… I-I’m just c-c-cold…”

I looked to scruff in concern and felt her forehead, she was absolutely frigid! “Hey, Dashy, mind going to get a blanket or something for Scruff here? She’s freezing her poor little tail off, I think some hot cocoa is in order when we get home.”

Pinkie, upon hearing that scruff was cold, picked her up and held her close “Here, stay close and stay warm…”

I smiled tenderly as Dashie flew off and returned with a wonderbolts blanket, which she draped over Scruff as my daughter snuggled up close to Pinkie happily “Y-you’re warm…”

Pinkie smiled warmly and held her close as she began to sing a lullaby…

“Somn , copii , somn
Tatăl tău are tendința de oi
Mama ta scutură copacul dreamland
Și din ea se încadrează vise dulci pentru tine
Somn , copii , somn
Somn , copii , somn

Somn , copii , somn
Vale nostru cabana este profund
Mic miel este pe verde
Cu fleece zăpadă atât de moale și curată
Somn , copii , somn
Somn , copii , somn”

{That was Romanian, if you were wondering, fair readers!}

Scruff was fast asleep as we reached Rarities, I barely even noticed that we had started walking, I was just so enraptured by Pinkies singing… it was NOTHING like the smile song, or any of the other cheery, upbeat songs. This was tender, loving, like a song a mother would sing to her child…, I hadn’t even noticed, but at some time during the song I had started to cry. I quickly wiped my eyes and opened the door for Pinkie and Scruff as Maud and Donal followed them through, I looked to Dougan, who was next to me the whole time and smiled “I WILL protect her.”

Dougan nodded and sat by the entrance as I walked in, finding Rarity fawning over Scruff “Oh, she is simply precious! I MUST make her an ensemble!” she then saw that she was wearing little more than ill fitting rags to protect her from the elements of this particularly chilly spring evening.

I looked to her in worry “How long will it take you to make her something warm to wear, Rarity?”

Rarity looked to me and smiled “I’ll have something whipped up for her within the hour, darling! Maybe you can tell me about canterlot while I work?”

I nodded “Just let me make my daughter comfortable.” I then pressed my hand against her forehead again “ jaaril dii kiir nol krah.” after I finished speaking, a light pink aura flowed from my hand and into scruff, making her shivering stop and her body fall into a relaxed position in Pinkies arms.

Donal looked to me in shock “Okay, what the bloody hell was that?! First ye blast me suit ta dust, now ye warm up yer daughter with weird pink energy!?”

Maud and Pinkie looked to each other, then to me in curiosity “Caith, what did you do? You did it before, with Nightmare Moon, it feels…” She looked for the words to describe it “… powerful…”

I frowned “I used a spell in ancient draconic… I don’t like using it as I detest the dragons of old, they were cruel, unloving beings, nothing at all like Spike, or even the wild dragons of the badlands… I said ‘protect my child from cold’ in the Dovahzul, or Dragon Language.”

[George, I’m back, we need to reach Caith somehow, or else we’re all screwed…]

{John! Tell me what’s happening NOW!}

[It’s the Umbra Pader…]

{Wha…WHAT!? HE’S BACK!?}

[Yes, and our only hope is right there, that is why we were tasked as the story keepers, don’t you see? We HAVE to work together!]

{John? Wh-what are you talking about?}

[we have to reach him.]

{Okay, um… talk to him through the dreaming?}

[No, not strong enough of a link, we need to physically assist him. We need Dravidium.]

{ARE YOU INSANE!? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE CRAZY ONE!}

[No… that is what scares me…]

I walked in back with Rarity as Scruff slept atop Pinkies shoulder, I was getting steadily more concerned as Pinkie looked very pale, but every time I asked her what was wrong, she’d just brush it off as nothing or say she was fine. Rarity then began working as I sat in a chair at the wall, studying Pinkie. “So, Darling, tell me… what is the scoop on Canterlot? Why shouldn’t I do business there?”

I sighed “Well, they are mostly snobbish pricks who’d sell you out in an instant to gain more favor with their superiors.”

Rarity frowned sadly “Truly? Well…then it seems I won’t be going to Canterlot then after all…”

I shook my head “No, some Ponies, like Fancy Pants, Fluer De Lis, and Sapphire Shores are actually good ponies, I’ll refer them to you, if you want.”

Rarity smiled and nodded before hugging me, I could hear Scruff waking up slowly “I’d like that very much, now shoo! Your daughter needs you.”

I nodded with a smile before heading back to the main room to find Scruff looking around the room sleepily as Donal and Maude chatted with RD. She saw me and smiled before nuzzling back into Pinkies shoulder and giving Pinkie a hug. Needless to say, my heart melted at the sight. “So, Pinkie, how you doing?”

Pinkie sighed and smiled sadly at me “I’m just scared I’ll lose you…”

I laughed “That will never happen.”

Pinkie smiled again, this time genuinely as Rarity came out with an adorable little parka lined with what looked like fluffy cotton. Pinkie gently shook Scruff and she looked up to see her warm clothing and she smiled in pure exuberant joy before running to Rarity and hugging her, thanking her repeatedly and excitedly. I laughed and walked to Scruff, helping her get on the parka, we then waved goodbye to RD and Rarity as we walked away from the boutique. “So, how about we go see AJ next?”

Scruff looked to me in curiosity “Who is AJ Daddy?”

I smiled “AJ is Applejack, the nice orange mare you met earlier.”

Pinkie then looked to me curiously “Hey, Caith? Could you say something in dragon?”

I thought a moment and nodded “hi los brit, Zu'u lokaal hi.” A pink flash occurred and a feeling of purest love filled the air, making both me and Pinkie blush.

Maud looked to me curiously, or… as curiously as she could manage with her monotone face “What did you just say?”

I blushed “I called her beautiful and said I love her…”

Pinkie blushed and kissed me on the cheek as we reached Sweet Apple Acres, making Scruff smile and Maude look at Donal hopefully, he did not kiss her, but DID hug her, maybe those two will actually go out on a date? Anyway, we walked into Sweet Apple Acres and AJ looked to Donal and smiled “Well Howdy partner! Y’all a farmer? I jes get that feel of a farmer from yah.”

Donal smiled “Potato farmer, born and raised, grew up to be a demolitions expert in Vegas, then I was called to Seattle for work that... I'd rather not speak of.”

AJ smiled “Ah’m an apple farmer, mahself, hey, would y’all like ta have some apples?”

Donal shook his head “Nah, they look WAY too sweet for me, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth.”

AJ nodded in understanding “Y’all like sour food then? We got some Granny Smith’s as well.”

An elderly green pony, whom I remembered was Granny Smith, looked around “Yes? Who’s there?”

AJ laughed “Naw, Granny, ah was talking ‘bout the apples!”

Granny Smith smiled “Oh, well that’s fine then…” she then sat back down and went to sleep.

I smiled at Scruff, who was hiding behind my leg as Applebloom drew near “Sis? Who’s that?”

AJ looked at my leg and saw Scruff “Aaw, this must be yer daughter, right Caith?”

I nodded and smiled at Scruff before picking her up and gently tickling her, making her laugh uncontrollably “NO MERCY!”

Scruff struggled uselessly before my tickle barrage. “D-daddy! Stop! It t-tickles!”

I set her down as tears escaped her eyes and saw to it that Applebloom was introduced properly. “Aplebloom, this is Scruff, my daughter. Scruff, this is Applebloom, youngest of the Ponyville branch of the Apple Family.”

Applebloom smiled at me and Scruff, whom smiled back shyly before AppleBloom ran to me and took Scruffs hand and taking her off to play, I smiled and followed them, sitting and playing along with their imaginative games and laughing as they did. I looked to AJ and Donal to see they were fighting. I pardoned myself from them to see they were arguing over who’s crop was better. Donal was the louder of the two “I’m telling ye lass, it’s potatoes! Potatoes are the ultimate foodstuff!”

AJ huffed “And I’m telling y’all that those potatoes are good for nothing but fuel for a fire!”

Donal snarled “At least me potatoes don’t taste like bloody worm bait!”

AJ gasped “Y’all take that back you no good varmint!”

Donal laughed “Make me! Oi challenge ye to a cook off!”

I sighed “This is going to be a pain…”

Pinkie nodded “Eeyup. It is.”

I looked on in confusion as Pinkie brought out two sets of cooking equipment and set them up “Where did you get that from?”

Pinkie smiled “I have cooking equipment stashed all over Equestria, in case of cooking emergencies!”

I laughed and watched as AJ and Donal began to cook…

It’s been a half an hour and Donal was already about fifteen dishes ahead of AJ, who was sweating extensively Applebloom and Scruff were watching with interest as I sat with them and Pinkie “Who do you want to win, Scruff?”

I looked to her in confusion "Uncle Donal?"

Scruff nodded "He feels like an uncle, like he could be your brother, I can't explain it, but it just feels right to say it, I got the same feeling from the scary blonde man."

Scruff smiled at me and giggled “Silly daddy, of course I want Uncle Donal to win!”

I hugged her with one arm and had my other around Pinkie, who nuzzled me lovingly, I looked to Pinkie and smiled “Zu'u lokaal hi, Hi naram zuk brit naal getiid…”

Pinkie tilted her head and smiled curiously “What does that mean?”

I looked her lovingly in the eyes “I said I love you, and you grow more beautiful by the moment…” I then kissed her cheek and looked to Donal and AJ, who had finished their bake off and had Donal crowned as the winner.

Donal smiled “So, ye gonna listen ta me now?”

AJ sighed and nodded “Sure Partner, I’ll listen to ya.”

Donal nodded “Well, first ye should set up an irrigation system, save water by getting more bang fer yer bucket.” He laughed at his -frankly horrible- pun as we simply groaned in disdain for his sense of humor as he continued “Two, ye don’t seem ta fertilize any of yer fields, even though ye got pigs and crops aplenty ta supply it.”

AJ looked to Donal in a curious manner “What the hay is fertilizing?”

Donal facepalmed and sighed "This is going ta take a bloody long while..."

{An hour later, Really? I get she’d take a while to learn, with how stubborn she can be, but STILL, AN ENTIRE FREAKING HOUR?!}

[Hey, we gotta work with what we’re given.]

{Yeah, but-}

[*zap!* shut up and help me get this message to Dravidium.]

{OW! REALLY?! THE CATTLE PROD AGAIN?!}

[Yes, now get to work]

After Donal finished his lecture, we went to the bakery where Twilight SHOULD be checking the baked goods for Princess Celestias royal visit. I opened the door for Pinkie and Scruff to find Fluttershy holding a Parasprite, from the way she was looking at it; she was entranced by its deceitful cuteness…this was going to suck… I’ve had to handle these pests before, the more they eat the more there are of them. And if I went about this wrong Flutters would hate my guts, damn…

I was about to pull out my buzzaxe to kill the pest when Pinkie put her hand on my chest and shook her head before whispering “I’ll handle it, okay?”

Pinkie walked off toward an instrument store as I walked with Donal to Twilight “Um… Twily? I’d like to introduce you to Donal McKoy, my personal bodyguard.”

Twilight gasped and smiled “Does this mean you are finally retiring!?”

Donal shook his head “Nah lass, I’m jes’ a bit of protection sent by Dravidium ta keep yer brother safe.”

I looked to him curiously “Wait… how do you know about Twily being my sister?”

Donal smiled “I’m contractually obligated not ta tell ye, Boyo, as the information as ta how is confidential.”

I frowned, looking Donal in the eyes “Okay… but if my friends safety depends on you breaking that contract, you had best break it.”

Donal nodded and I went to my house with Scruff “Well, Scruff, I think we’ve had a long day, how about a nap?”

Scruff yawned and nodded “Yes please daddy…I’m sleepy…”

I picked her up and carried her to her bedroom, tucking her into bed as I got ready for bed myself, taking off my duster, setting my buzzaxe at my bedside and setting my alarm clock for half an hour later…

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking at the door , I sleepily called out “Coming… jusht a shecond…” and redressed, sheathing my buzzaxe at my back and walking to the door to my room to find Pinkie panting profusely “Pinkie? What’s wrong?”

Pinkie took a deep breath and I prepared to listen as best I could “IneedyouandScrufftohelpmefindinstruments!”

I nodded and went upstairs to get Scruff, opening her door and walking to her bedside before gently shaking her awake“Scruff, sweety. Time to get up.”

Scruff sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes sleepily “I had such a nice dream daddy… you and Pinkie were my parents and we went to the park and played on the swings…”

I smiled and hugged Scruff, making sure Pinkie wasn’t there before I whispered to her “Hey, you may not have Pinkie as a mommy yet, but I’m working on it, okay?” Scruff smiled and nodded before getting her clothes back on “That reminds me, I need to get you some pajamas for the winter.” Scruff smiled even wider before hugging me and walked out to Dougans Yard, I say Dougans Yard because it’s the part of the house that functions like his room. I walked out front with an extremely excited Pinkie and saw that Ponyville was under attack by a swarm of Parasprites “DAMN IT! I KNEW I SHOULD OF FRIED THESE FLYING PESTS!”

Dougan was up and distracting the Parasprites as best he could, pissing off swarms of them and making them attack him as he ran all over town, keeping the environmental damage to a minimum, I hope he ends up all right…

Pinkie looked around and grabbed my hand and Scruffs “Ineedabanjoakazooandatuba!”

I nodded and looked to Scruff “You get the banjo, I’ll get the Tuba.”

Scruff nodded and ran towards froggy bottom bog, where the hillponies live, I smiled at how clever my daughter was and ran to the home of Vinyl Scratch and RJ, who were fighting off the Parasprites with wubs. “Haha! Take that you little thieves!” RJ seemed really pissed off, heating up his wrist chain and slashing through them with ease, I looked to RJ and grabbed him “Do you know where a Tuba is?!” RJ nodded “Yeah, my friend Tavi next door has one, she collects orchestral instruments, wait, why?”

I was already firestepping over to Tavis house to find Vernie was fighting the Parasprites there, reducing them to charred carcasses with his electric blade “Vernie, I don’t have time to explain but I need a Tuba!” Vernie noded and took the Tuba that was in a case by the entryway and handed it to me as I ran to Twily’s for Spikes kazoo, on the way I saw the Parasprites had Dougan outnumbered and were biting him all over, I held out my hand to him and shouted “Reimokur, drem, tul!”The Parasprites froze in the air as I ran to him, mounting him and riding him to the Golden Oaks Library…

When we reached the Library Pinkie and Scruff were already there, and Spike had handed over the kazoo to Pinkie. Pinkie saw my Tuba and smiled gratefully before taking it from me “Okay… let’s hope this works!” Pinkie began to play and the Parasprites all followed her to the everfree forest, she stopped at its border and continued to play, making them go into the woods and out of sight, right as the girls ran up to us and promptly freaked out, I sighed and shouted again “Stiildus, nahlon, gir!” I then gestured to Pinkie, who smiled and explained how we had basically saved the day...

I walked to my house and found a letter from Dravidium at my doorstep, It said ‘read immediately’ on the front, so I read it aloud as stone ogre etiquette dictates “Dear Salamanderion, I have been alerted to the existence of two more people who may help you, please come to New Dravus at once.”

Author's Note

The song Pinkie sings is in Romanian, the Gypsy native lingo