The Queen and I, Book 2: People and Problems

by SoloBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Changelings, Queen Chrysalis, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 16456

Even a positive change can be intimidating; regrets and nostalgia make it hard to move forward. I can't just hold on to the past forever, though; there are people who need me. For them, I'll turn my regret of the past to hope for the future.

(Cover art by Taggerung)

Even a person with perfect judgement could make mistakes if they didn't have enough information. That's the one consolation available when you make a mistake and hurt someone; it doesn't mean you're necessarily a bad person.

If only it were that simple. When people depend on you, when you accept that responsibility, it stops being so easy to just go on with your life when you make a mistake. When you realize that you've hurt someone, or let them down, it tears you up inside.

I'm going to keep moving forward, though. The only way to make things better is to learn from my mistakes, and act on that.

(You may notice an anachronism in this image; I urge you to ignore it, as it is irrelevant to the story)

(Infusions 2: Tea is considered a prologue to this story. This fic is part of a larger continuity of stories; for a complete breakdown, click here.)

Published 2015-01-15 02:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-26 18:16:51 UTC

Chapter 8: No one...

I noticed that I was fidgeting nervously again, and took a deep breath to steady myself.

I'm sure Pinkie's fine. They sent the list ahead, and it said she was on that train. There's no way it could be wrong, right?

A hundred scenarios where it could be wrong tried to cram their way into my mind, from Pinkie being brainwashed by Chrysalis to the changelings developing new disguise magic that let them slip a fake on-board.

I've already been over all of that! I'll deal with any problems IF they come up!

Another deep breath. The train had just rolled into the Ponyville station.

Waiting and worrying is always so hard. Why did she take the train so suddenly, without letting anyone but Rainbow Dash know?! Oh, sure, Dash let the rest us know, but not in time for me to stop her!

The cultural exchange program had been working according to plan so far. The fact that it was a two-way program wasn't being widely advertised, and most ponies weren't willing to face the potential danger of a changeling hive, anyway.

It had been going perfectly, in fact, except for Pinkie.

The changelings aren't even allowed out of Canterlot and Manehattan without explicit invitation by one of Celestia's subjects! But that restriction might as well not exist when you invite literally 'everybuggy' to Ponyville for an 'exchangeling extravaganza'!

I was a little irritated about it, but if anything it seemed to make the exchange program work even better. The changelings were more hesitant to leave after such a warm welcome.

Hopefully, or so the plan went, they would demand better living conditions at home as a result.

Now that Pinkie's gone on the exchange, though, more ponies are showing interest in visiting the Hive. That's not the end of the world, but it's dangerous! What if the changelings hurt or brainwash somepony?!

I had to take another deep breath as I watched passengers disembark. A good half of them were changelings, while the rest were just ponies coming from Canterlot. Seeing a half-dozen more changelings walk into Ponyville made me nervous, though I tried not to let it show.

At least all of them are being magically disenchanted to reveal disguises, and we're keeping careful records of who is where. It's not much, but-

Laughter! I recognized Pinkie's high-pitched giggling over the clamor of disembarking passengers, and rushed down the train to see her.

I watched her bounce off the train merrily, but ground to a halt immediately.

What's Queen Chrysalis doing here?! And...

Queen Chrysalis. Was giggling. With Pinkie Pie.

My brain ground to a halt, much like I had a moment before.

I am looking at something that makes no sense.

I closed my eyes in hopes that the world would realize its mistake and fix it before I opened them. It didn't. It got worse. Now Chrysalis was bouncing up and down with Pinkie while they both talked excitedly about... something.

I couldn't really follow it, what with how they were speaking on two times normal speed, and my brain had gone to half.

Roll with it! Make sure Pinkie's okay!

I shook my head and trotted towards them, all full of determination.

Okay, Chrysalis' mane is orange. Why is it orange? Wait... that kinda looks familiar...

And then it hit me. The Friendship Duplicate had had orange hair!

But that spell should have expired months ago! Unless Chrysalis found a way to extend it... or this is Chrysalis in disguise, just like she did when we signed the treaty!

Yes! Now I knew what the two possibilities were! I could work with this!

“Welcome back, Pinkie! How was your- GAH!”

“TWILIGHTI'msohappytobeback YOU HAVE TO MEET mynewfriend CHEERY she's my BESTESTBUGBUDDYEVER andyoutwoaregoingtohavesomuchFUNtogether!”

Pinkie followed up that nearly-incomprehensible burst with giggling and a snort, which my brain – now enhanced, I am certain, by Pinkie – decided was a 'gigglesnort'.

“Uhh... right! Er, Pinkie, would you mind coming to the library with me? We need to talk.”

“Ooh, yeah! Good idea! We can show Cheery right to the center of the town to start with!”

I groaned internally. That meant 'Cheery' – wasn't it Cheersalis before?... on second thought, yikes, I could see why they would shorten that.

Er, that meant Cheery would be coming with us, and talking to Pinkie in private would be a lot more difficult.

“Oh, uh, right! Come on, Cheery!”

We trotted quickly to the center of town. I tried to block out Pinkie's incessant rambling about everything Ponyville on the way there and concentrate on the challenge at hand, but Cheery soon got excited and came out of her shell.

Oh Celestia. Now there are two of them.

I resigned myself to figuring out the problem when I got peace and quiet, and got us to the library. I almost ran up and opened it with my hooves, but then a better idea occurred to me.

“After you, girls!”

Pinkie and Cheery went on inside, completely oblivious to the discrete scanning spell I cast on Cheery on their way in.

Score! Now I know what's going on!

I followed Pinkie and 'Cheery' inside, shutting the door behind me. Pinkie was running around the library rambling about all of the interesting books there – I was flattered, honestly – completely oblivious to the danger.

No one was going to hurt my friends. I thought of Rainbow Dash and felt full of determination – and anger.

Pinkie glanced at 'Cheery' while holding up a book – All About Equestria, I noted – and went wide-eyed as she saw me behind her, my horn already incandescent with energy.

No one!

Before Pinkie could say anything, my magic flared outwards, causing a brilliant white flash. For a second, I couldn't even see.

Did it work?!

I shook my head to clear my vision, and looked around. It had worked! 'Cheery' was held down to her knees by glowing violet chains of magic. I immediately restrained Pinkie with my magic aura, trotting forward to come between her and 'Cheery'.

“Twilight?! What are you doing?!”

“Pinkie! She's not who you think she is! Hold still, I need to make sure you haven't been brainwashed!”

Pinkie tried to object, but I cut her off with another flash from my horn. The aura around Pinkie rippled, but I didn't feel any disturbances associated with mental magic.

Just conventional trickery, then!

I whirled on 'Cheery', who was watching Pinkie wide-eyed. When I glared down at her, she glanced over to me, and I saw perfectly justified terror form behind her eyes. Mess with a princess, you get the horn!

… I probably need to work on better catch phrases.

“Give it up, Chrysalis! I've seen through your disguise!”

“Twilight, that's not Chrysalis, it's-”

“She's lied to you! She's-”

“I'M NOT CHRYSALIS!”

I jumped from the volume of her shout. But if she thought discombobulating me like that would-

She's crying?

She was hysterical!

“I'm not!

I'm not!

I am NOT... don't call me that!”

My skin felt like ice.

“I don't... I'm me!”

“But...”

“I KNOW I'M NOT A REAL PERSON! Just... can I keep pretending?”

She started sobbing uncontrollably again. I felt like a burning lump of coal had landed in my stomach.

I dully felt something brush up against me. I guess I sat down at some point.

Pinkie's voice came as a whisper to my ear, “I told you, she's not... please don't bully her, Twilight.”

Pinkie brushed past me and trotted over to the sobbing mare on the floor of my library.

I've learned a lot of things over the years. One of the most important things is to know when you might have made a mistake.

“Just a- *hic* - little longer...”

“Shh, it'll be alright, Cheery.”

Accept it quickly. Double check your work. If you made a mistake, fix it. It may have been impossible for her to be telling the truth...

But I trotted up to her to cast the spell anyway. I felt numb, and wanted to get the grim business over with as quickly as possible.

Pinkie jumped between us, shielding Cheery bodily, standing on her hind legs with her front hooves in out to her sides, like she expected me to try to push past her.

“What are you going to do now, Twilight?!”

Another friend was angry with me because I tried to protect them. I couldn't muster up the energy to be upset at that moment.

“I was going to scan her, to verify her claims. I can't accept what she says without being sure.”

Pinkie's going to object again, and I'm going to have to argue with her over it... Why is she so protective of-

“I'M NOT... I'M NOT CHRYSALIS!"

Pinkie staggered a bit to the side as the library shook from the volume of Cheery's shout. I saw her horn glowing, already incandescent with energy.

It was... pink? Her horn and eyes were both glowing pink!

What IS that? That's not normal magic!

I watched in a mix of horror and fascination as the aura wrapped around her horn and started sliding down her body, taking on streaks of red and orange. Pinkie leapt up in horror, and started waving her hooves frantically and shouting, “CHEERY! CHEERY! Don't! You said it was really dangerous!”

Transformation magic. She wasn't doing it right, either. I had seen changelings transform, but this wasn't a changeling transformation.

It wasn't even changeling magic. She was just trying to use it that way.

Pinkie ran over to Cheery, who had a look of fierce concentration etched over her face. She was glaring daggers at nothing in particular, before she screwed her eyes closed in focus and the aura covered her face.

I watched the chains break away as the aura covered her whole body, a mix of pink, orange and crimson. I had already started channeling energy to my horn, in case something went wrong, and I had to try to assist her.

Or contain an explosion. I shivered at the thought.

I never meant to cause something like this...

And then, just like that, the aura zipped off of Cheery's body and back into her horn, and winked out of existence.

Pinkie gasped. I felt my eyes widen and my own breath catch. Cheery had certainly transformed! I mentally noted differences as I took in what that meant.

She was shorter than before, and all of her limbs had shrunk in proportion, making her only slightly larger than the average pony. Her fangs had grown larger, though, and now stuck out of her mouth slightly even with her mouth closed.

I hadn't noticed before that Chrysalis' fangs don't do that...

A more rounded, slightly shorter muzzle. Her 'crown' had split into two small antennae with a single bulb each. No holes in the limbs or wings.

The horn still had two bends in it, but they were wavy and subtle – I wondered what that meant for her magic – and had the spiral pattern on it that I associate with unicorns. It was smaller, too – no longer than Rarity's.

Her mane was still in the same windswept pattern I had seen it in before – I noted dully that it was remniscent of Dash's manecut, though it looked more wild and curly – but it had turned shock white, along with her tail!

Did something go wrong?

She gasped for air, and staggered, trying to flutter her wings for support. That's when I saw them.

Her... her wings! They're ruined!

Cheery slipped to the floor as her wings, now leathery and shock-white like her mane, moved sluggishly. They were far too small for her body, only covering half of the space her former wings had.

Cheery looked up at me, weakly. “I'm not...”

“I know. I know now.”

I heard Spike come into the room from upstairs. “Twilight? What was all that yell-"

“Spike. I need you to take a letter.”

Chapter 9: Eclosion

I watched the scenery slip by as Ponyville drew close, and reflected on how I didn't visit the town nearly often enough.

Even now, I wasn't paying a random social call, though I was unclear on the nature of the visit. Twilight's letter to me had not been very clear on the matter:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Please come to Ponyville immediately. There is a matter which concerns us personally that needs to be addressed immediately.

-Twilight

PS: It would be hard to explain by letter. It's better if you just come here now.

PPS: It's not an emergency. Strictly speaking. It may be an emergency. I can handle it if it's an emergency, I think. But you should come either way. It's important.

-Prin

-Twilight

It's about the changelings.

I already said it's not an emergency, so I don't have to say that again.

PPPS: Sorry, Twilight's in a rush.
-Spike
-

Given my limited information – relevant to changelings, not an emergency, personally important, could turn into an emergency – I formulated a few guesses as to what was going on, but I decided to trust Twilight.

Her omission of detail either meant she needed Spike's immediate help with whatever was going on, or she explicitly asked him not to elaborate while she handled it, I figured. If she wanted me to see it for myself before coming to any conclusions, I'd respect that.

I still had the sense to organize a chariot to carry me from Canterlot to Ponyville. I caused enough of a ruckus canceling all of my duties for the day, but I managed to insinuate that there was some kind of bureaucratic mess that had gotten out of hand and needed my immediate – if altogether unenthusiastic – attention.

Everypony was all too quick to roll their eyes at any mention of bureaucracy, and it kept anyone from looking into the assuredly boring details of what was going on at my destination.

Get there quickly, but not as though it's an emergency. I felt it was the right way to handle things.

I disembarked from the chariot, thanking my riders. I almost dismissed them back to Canterlot, not wishing to keep them there as I was unsure how long I would be, but I decided to instead tell them to make themselves comfortable around town.

If sompony might be hurt, or need immediate transportation, having the chariot around could be a vital asset, and a pair of cool-headed, sensible pegasi could be useful in any number of bad situations.

I was probably being over-prepared, but it cost me nothing, and was better than the alternative. The guards seemed pleased with not flying again so soon, anyway.

I took a moment to steel my resolve after knocking on the library door. It would be best to stay calm and neutral until I had all of the facts of the scenario; first impressions can often seem final, but lead to a faulty course of action.

My momentary concern that Twilight was elsewhere (and had forgotten to mention it) was allayed when she promptly opened the door. I scanned her face, a polite smile on mine starting to lose its place.

Fatigue. Stress. A little fear?

Guilt.

I didn't expect that one. Twilight had a look of shame, only kept in check by some sort of grim determination on her part. She showed me in, without a word passing between us, and my eyes came to rest on an odd scene.

A large changeling female was asleep on the floor, resting her head in Pinkie's forehooves. She had a look of pain etched on her face, and Pinkie was gently stroking her white mane, eyes filled with sadness.

I found myself mentally ticking off aspects of her that were 'off' for a changeling – smaller fangs, a long non-black mane, lack of holes – before my eyes fixated on her wings.

I dully realized that I was staring, and I had missed something in the process.

“I'm sorry, Twilight. Could you repeat that?”

My eyes were still locked on the creature's wings.

“I said, that's Cheery. The result of the friendship duplicate spell.”

I felt my entire body tense up as everything started to click into place. This creature wasn't an enemy; it was technically, at least in part, our creation. A result of our actions.

Our responsibility.

I nodded along as Twilight gave me the back-story. Pinkie just nodded along as Twilight told me her experiences with Cheery, still wholly fixated on the sleeping mare.

Energetic, optimistic and idealistic. Friendly and innocent, but sharp and perceptive. She and Pinkie became immediate friends, and grew very close in her time in the Hive.

Pinkie managed to find her voice long enough to tell me that Cheery was afraid of disappearing soon, and asked me whether or not we were going to send her away. I told her not to worry. That things would be fine.

We would take care of her.

I mentally noted more discrepancies about Cheery as Twilight described what happened earlier in the library. I noted the shame in her voice when she described her own behavior, and gently reassured her that, while her actions may have impetuous, they were not entirely unreasonable. It was a bad situation, and she was caught off-guard.

These things get easier with experience. Patience comes more easily.

“... So as you can see, she's resting now. I don't know what went wrong with her wings, and I don't know if there's anything we can do...”

“Twilight, I believe those are moth wings.”

Pinkie looked up at me, some mixture of confusion and hope on her face.

“Huh? But they look like leather... ah!”

I nodded silently as Twilight began reciting facts about moths and their wings. Many large silk moths come out of their cocoon with their wings in a shrunken, leathery state. So things might be alright after all.

Pinkie looked relieved and excited, until Twilight cut in with the obvious question.

“It's been a couple of hours. Why haven't her wings unfurled yet?”

“I don't know, Twilight. We're dealing with an unprecedented situation, here.”

That was an understatement. We knew next to nothing about this creature's physiology. Twilight nodded slowly, looking up at me cautiously.

“I'm sure you've come to the same conclusion that I did, by now, but... we clearly made a mistake with the spell formula...”

Twilight trailed off, and I realized that I was glaring at her. I reproached myself internally and softened my expression.

“I wouldn't say it was a mistake, Twilight. An accident, perhaps. But a good accident; after all, it gave us a new... friend, right?”

My voice came out cautiously, but I saw Twilight close her eyes and smile faintly as I spoke. She looked relieved.

“... I'm glad we're on the same page about this.”

“And I'm glad you summoned me. You were right; this was a situation that deserved my immediate attention.”

Twilight and I shared a moment, just watching each other. There was much being left unspoken here, but she could see my resolve and I could see hers.

We would take care of her.

“How do we handle Chrysalis' reaction?”

“We'll figure that out as we come to it. Right now, we should be focusing on-”

I stopped, my ear twitching. Was that... music? I glanced over, and realized that Cheery was conscious. She looked very tired, but her eyes were open a bit, and her horn was softly glowing a deep reddish orange. I realized she was making the music.

Just a simple piano melody, with a violin weeping in tandem.

And like that, staring at the ground, still crying in Pinkie's hooves, she began to sing very softly. She paused between each phrase, the instrumentation accenting her words and providing a counterpoint in the pauses.

~

What now?

What now?

What am I now?

Some pathetic fool, unfit to be queen

An insufferable thing, with a destiny so cruel

I made my journey

Filled with uncertainty

Fear and hope inside me warred

But I never could have imagined, what cruel fate lie in store

Hopes and dreams lie in desolation

My life is lost to me

With this wretched transformation

What am I to be?

~

Pinkie and Cheery tightened their embrace, both crying, as Cheery feebly tried to buzz her wings. Twilight was at Pinkie's side immediately, joining in the hug and comforting them both.

Though I felt a stab of sympathy for Cheery, I couldn't help but smile warmly as I saw the three of them come together. I heard startled exclamations come from Cheery and Twilight when I sat down with them and pulled all into an embrace with my wings.

I concentrated on the fading sound of music, and soon it came back, but lighter, happier, with a violin singing instead of weeping, and a flute providing harmony. I sang softly, as Cheery had, but this time in the tone of a lullaby.

~

Rest now

Rest now

Rest your mind now

Young as a foal, but with burdens so extreme

Living like a machine, takes such a toll

You made a journey

Filled with anxiety

Let fear and doubt be now ignored

For your bravery and kindness, friendship is your reward

Suffer no fear or pain in isolation

Bring it all back to me

With love finish transformation

To what you want to be

~

Cheery looked up at me, some mix of confusion, wonder, and hope. I had already started concentrating on transferring my energy to her, and I felt Twilight follow suit right next to me.

Channeling love energy is an old magic, and one very rarely done so directly, but anyone who remembered the tale of Hearth's Warming – or the changeling invasion – knew the power such magic held.

But such magic can be mysterious and unpredictable to anyone. Our efforts accomplished nothing until I expanded my focus to include Pinkie.

From there, energy began to flow freely, and Cheery began to visibly grow stronger, staring at me all the while.

“But... but why...?”

I glanced at Twilight, and she began to explain to Cheery how she wasn't in any danger of disappearing, or fading away. Through some happy accident of mixing a unicorn spell formula with changeling magic, a real person had been born, with her own mind, her own personality.

Able to make her own decisions.

I kept focusing on the magic, and watching the faint signs of magic emanating from Cheery's horn. Twilight, unaware, continued her explanation, elaborating that – much to Cheery's surprise – Chrysalis' acquisition of the magic had been intentional on our part, though we hadn't realized what would happen.

I saw the two antennae on her head begin to sprout fine, long hairs on the left and right, giving them a fern-like appearance.

Twilight explained, tearing up slightly, that though we were surprised by what had happened, we were all too happy to welcome her into our family. She would never want for friends or family again.

I watched her hair slowly stain a deep red, leaving only a streak of white and a streak of black, side by side. It reminded me of Twilight's mane colors.

If Twilight noticed that, she gave no sign. She awkwardly fumbled for words for a few moments before explaining that the spell in question had been altered in a very particular way, based on a prior incident with cloning in Equestria.

She had subtly worked a magical imprint of Pinkie Pie's personality into the scroll. The effect would be subtle, but it would, she hoped, create a happier and more optimistic clone than expected.

“In short... Pinkie Pie is basically your sister.”

Cheery and Pinkie stared at each other, a deep smile forming between them. I gently retracted my wings and slowly retreated, tapping Twilight to do the same. I saw crimson slowly bleeding into Cheery's white wings, which were expanding.

It was Pinkie who finally couldn't contain her excitement anymore.

“I knew it! I knew it! Oh Cheery, this is the best day ever!”

“Sisters! We'll stay together forever!”

The two of them started jumping up and down excitedly, carrying on about all that they would do together. All of the nervous, excited energy in the air was infectious, and I found myself sporting a silly grin to match theirs.

I found myself watching Cheery's wings, but unable to really see them clearly with all of the motion, until she stood up on her hind legs to high-hoof Pinkie. Suddenly, her wings unfurled completely, revealing a brilliant crimson color stretching up from her thorax – which I now noted was red on the top, and alternated crimson and white on the bottom – separated by two almost aurora-like patterns formed by thin stripes of white and black.

“Hyalophora columbia...”, Twilight's voice filled in for me. I realized her voice was off because her mouth was hanging open.

“Very good...”

Then again, so was mine. Moths could have beautiful wings at any size, but seeing it in such large scale was something else entirely.

“Whooaaa... Cheery, your wings look SOOOO pretty!”

Pinkie stared transfixed, as Cheery glanced back at the new appendages. Her jaw slackened, and she looked over at us, blushing furiously. I saw her make multiple fluttery attempts to fold her wings down, ultimately draping them over herself like a gown that reached the floor.

Which just made her so embarrassed she tried hiding behind them. Seeing something so simultaneously regal and adorable made me think of Luna.

Thinking of Cheery as family was quite appropriate, I decided.

Chapter 11: Her lamentation

Queen Chrysalis stalked around her office, her aggravation palpable. She had dismissed her guards, not wishing anyone to see or hear her in this state.

“As though anyone would come knocking anyway...”

Chrysalis stopped her grumbling and pacing for a moment, looking thoughtful. “Except Iqqel. Lili-Iqqel will come, I'm sure, at some point. Oh, Iqqel, you've been at my side for as long as I can remember...”

Chrysalis shook her head, glancing at a nearby mirror. “Look at me. Purple bags under my eyes... disheveled hair... Hardly the look of the proud Queen of Hive Chrysalis.”

With a heavy sigh, Chrysalis walked back over to her desk, staring down at the open letter on its surface. She had heard the rumors months ago, of course, but seeing it right in front of her was different. Five changelings asking for citizenship in Equestria.

And a letter from Celestia to verify that this would not cause problems between their nations.

With a snort, Chrysalis turned away. “Ponies... honestly. Why anyling would want to live with those creatures is beyond me. They-”

Chrysalis caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror.

“Or... perhaps it's just better than living here. Even Cheery would prefer to be around ponies than be around me, right now. She'll just leave me to take care of everything here, while she's off gallivanting around Equestria with that pink menace! She...! She...”

Chrysalis ground her teeth, breathing heavily for a few moments. She slowly sauntered over to her couch and flopped onto it, her breath slowly growing more ragged.

“... It's not right for me to begrudge my sister her friends. She didn't ask to be here, but she's done everything she can to live up to my expectations. And she has. I have no business being jealous if she...”

Chrysalis winced, tears forming in her eyes. “If my subjects have learned to prefer her to me.”

Chrysalis laid there a few moments, just listening to the uneven sound of her own breathing and blinking back tears.

“... Since when is the changeling Queen Chrysalis so pathetic? And so spiteful? To resent my sister's success, my people's happiness – however it may come to them – and to let myself be so... Was I not once called the Hive's rising star? I was a brilliant magical researcher, all of the Thinkers bowed to my intellect, and I once dazzled the entire Hive with my music, just to prove I could! So when did I transform into this...”

Chrysalis' eyes widened slightly, as an old memory made its way to the surface. She tried to smile, giving her the uneven, crooked expression of one who's too close to tears to do so, and reached out with her magic, her horn glowing a soft green.

Slowly, across the room, two old luggage cases stirred to life and opened, revealing two violins. Slowly, they levitated out of the cases, as two cleaning cloths came to life and wiped the dust from them. Two bows levitated out of the cases, and were quickly coated with just the right amount of rosin.

A few gentle strokes to test the violins, followed by some tuning, and soon Chrysalis had the two violins playing a low tune. It was an old skill, to her – something she could do absentmindedly, even after so long.

Chrysalis laid her head down on the pillow. She sniffled a few times, before giving up on properly clearing her throat or nose, and just watched the two violins play a simple, deep tune. Eventually, she started to sing, her voice ringing true despite a slightly watery, hoarse tone creeping in.

~

What now?

What now?

What am I now?

Some pathetic fool, unfit to be queen

An insufferable thing, with a destiny so cruel

I made my journey

Filled with uncertainty

Fear and hope inside me warred

But I never could have imagined, what cruel fate lie in store

Hopes and dreams lie in desolation

My life is lost to me

With this wretched transformation

What am I to be?

~

Where do I fit in now? I do not know~

I've lost my way, had I one to begin with

I just wish to return home~

But it's lost to decay, if it ever existed

~

Chrysalis slowly rose back to her hooves, sauntering around the office as she sang, until she came to a stop in front of the mirror again. She stared at her own reflection, with the two violins visible above her tired, worn eyes, and slowly the music intensified, and third violin joining her voice in the melody.

~

What kind of a queen leads a failed invasion?

I told myself, 'This day is going to be per~fect'

I told them all, victory is come at last!

But it was all in vain

For to fill our needs

We simply had to ask

~

Chrysalis wrenched her eyes shut, gritting her teeth. A piano slowly faded into the song, carrying a harmony with the violins, and the music entered a more dark, ominous bridge.

~

Relying on my foes for mercy,

Soon I'll lose the Soldiers' loyalty

The Tenders will laugh out in their fields,

At a would-be queen, forced to yield

Thinkers and Makers will scoff alike,

At my ideas, banal and trite

'Where is the queen'? Shall ask the speakers,

'Hiding in the spire,' shall come the answer,

'She never comes out, not even as teacher,'

'Hopefully retired, take down her banner!'

'Only she could drive us to the world above,'

'Not even a Feeder could want her love!'

~

Chrysalis slammed her hooves down on the desk, looking down at the letter with a manic smile on her face, marred by the tears streaming out of her eyes.

“'Dear Queen Chrysalis'... Hah! So I'm dear to old Celestia, now, am I? All's forgotten and forgiven! Don't worry, you're far too weak for us to hold a grudge!”

Chrysalis let out high, dissonant laughter, mirrored by the two violins, now playing so fast in the corner that they created an almost buzzing sense of cacophony.

“She hopes that our 'relationship' won't become 'strained' due to this citizenship request! OH MY, Celestia, I didn't know you felt that way! It's all so sudden!”

Chrysalis started to giggle and hiccup uncontrollably as she looked at the letter, leaning in close as though to speak to a child, or lover, “Don't you worry, Celestia. Why would this strain our relationship? After all, it's just a few of my citizens who don't appreciate anything I've done for them! Go ahead and take them!”

The music began to swell to a dissonant crescendo.

“In fact, I bet you know what's best for everyone, Celestia! You should take ALL of my subjects! We'll declare Hive Chrysalis as Equestria's newest vassal! Oh, don't worry about me, I'll just stay down here by myself – someone's got to dust things off and keep the bats from wrecking everything! You know, so that when some changelings remember where they're from, and get curious, at least they can pay a visit and say hi!”

~

It's fine then, it's okay!

Why on earth should I say nay?

It's time I let the children play!

They clearly don't need me to stay,

They can lead themselves astray!

It won't raise the slightest ire,

Let them fly like moths to fire!

I'll roast mallows on the pyre,

Because this old nag will be retired!

~

Chrysalis flipped the desk just as the music reached a crescendo, resulting in a massive, cacophonous roar. The two violins broke under the strain of the magic she used on them, one breaking at the handle and the other simply popping its strings and cracking along the surface.

The music fell to a deathly quiet as Chrysalis surveyed the room. Hesitantly, she looked at the mirror again. Now cracked in several places, it showed a grotesque distortion of her appearance.

“An improvement, I suppose... “

Chrysalis slowly walked over to the two broken violins, mementos of her past, and looked down at them in a mix of horror and self-disgust. Her horn lit up, and music slowly returned to the room – a quiet, colder version of the tune she had played before.

~

What now?

What now?

What am I now?

Some pathetic fool, unfit to be queen

An insufferable thing, with a destiny so cruel

I made my journey

Filled with uncertainty

Fear and hope inside me warred

But I never could have imagined, what cruel fate lie in store

Hopes and dreams lie in desolation

My life is lost to me

With this wretched transformation

What am I to be?

~

It's so easy not to see, when you're holding your head down

That you're going nowhere fast, and your soul's about to drown

Who could want me now, who could love such a thing?

Want such a broken figure, with delusions of being queen?

I thought I knew what had to be done,

Believed that I was fit to lead.

But clearly I am not the one,

Leadership is what I should concede.

~

Chrysalis stopped her singing, letting the music drop to barely audible levels, and started quietly speaking in time with it.

“I try to not resent Cheery,

Though everyone loves her instead.

But I'm a broken thing, unfit to be loved,

So who can blame them?

And I love my sister,

If I can love at all.

Perhaps I'm such a monster,

I know not what love is.

But I know this...”

~

“I'll put her ahead of me, with the rest of my Hive.

If I'm of no use to them now, that's fine.

I'll go, I'll lock myself in the Hall of Queens,

I'll waste away, and never be seen.

I'd rather fade away, with a little dignity,

Than be remembered as an outcast.

If my people are happy...

what more could I ask?”

~

Chapter 12: Two conversations (I'm sorry)

I... I think she's crying. By all the Queens, I had no idea it had gotten so bad! She really needs- wait, I wasn't supposed to hear any of this! I've been eavesdropping on my own Queen! I... I should go. I shouldn't be here!

Turn away from the door. Start walking. Quickly.

Could she have been serious? For her to even suggest such a thing as retiring, or giving the kingdom over to Equestria... does she feel so alone right now? So unloved?

Stop.

Wait, what am I doing? Am I being a coward, running away when she needs me? I won't have it!

Start heading back.

I'm going to go in there, and... uh... she probably won't be very happy to see anyone right now...

Keep going.

That doesn't matter! She's upset, she's always been there for everyone else when things were rough – she deserves to know the Hive is still loyal to her.

That I'm still loyal to her!

Knock on the door. Stop shaking so much.

Keep it level, Iqqel. You can handle this. You've seen Chrysalis upset bef-

“Begone! I've NO wish to be disturbed at present!”

What am I even going to say?! - “My Queen?”

“... Iqqel?”

I should get in there now, before she has a chance to recover and send me away.

Push the door open gently. Eyes forward. Face neutral.

Don't even look at the mess. Just look at her. Just look at her.

“Don't come in here! I'm... stop! Stop!”

Keep eyes on her. Walk forward slowly.

Don't even acknowledge the mess. Don't do it, Iqqel. Don't. Even. Notice. It. - “My Queen, I felt I should-”

“G-get out, Iqqel. You can see I'm in no state to... to...”

Don't follow the gesture. Keep eyes on her. No matter how painful it is to see her like this...

-”My Queen, you should know that your subjects are here for you, just as you-”

“I've taken enough from my subjects already... and from you, Iqqel. I-”

“You aren't alone, Chrysalis! We want to help you! I want to help you. You've... you're...”

She seems a little taken aback by my outburst... - “I know things have been changing a lot lately, and you've been... stressed. About a lot of things. But we're here for you. All of-”

“Stop. Just... please stop. Just... leave me.”

She's... she's crying. Did I.. what should I say? Did I make her more upset? What should I DO?!

Breathe. Think. The stress of it all is getting to her... She should never have been in this position. She never asked for Queenhood! - “Oh, Cecily... what has this all done to you?”

“What... what did you call me?!”

Oh crud. Did I actually... say that out loud?

“That's not my name anymore!”

She's standing up...

Stand firm. Neutral expression.

“I am Chrysalis! I gave up that name long ago! I am the Queen of this Hive! Even... even if I'm a pathetic one, you must still address me as such! Do you understand?!”

She's not so intimidating anymore... now that I know that all of her anger is just fear, and pain. - “Of course, Queen Chrysalis. Forgive me.”

“N-now... you should...”

She looks conflicted. I don't want this situation to get any worse than it has... I've hurt her enough with my carelessness today - “I have taken the liberty of scheduling you for an appearance at the Whitefalls academy to give a lecture on ponies, since they're becoming more relevant in our day-to-day lives.”

“What? But-!”

“You are expected at 5 PM sharp, my Queen. You still have two hours to prepare. I will tend to your office, so I recommend you focus on cleaning yourself up and readying your notes. Now, if I may be excused, I must go and make arrangements.”

Don't wait for permission. Turn to go. I'm not sure how much longer I can face her right now... I don't want her to think she hurt me.

“Iqqel...”

Pause. Look over shoulder. Dangit, now's not a good time for waterworks. Come on, keep it level, Iqqel!

“I'm... I didn't mean for...”

Is she trying to... apologize?

“I'm sorr-”

-”You need not.”

She looks confused... I guess that came out wrong - “I mean, it's okay. Don't... don't worry.”

Oh yeah, the cracking voice really sells that everything is 'okay', Iqqel.

Walk outside.

“Those glasses... they, ah... they suit you. You should wear them more often.”

Oh... did I forget to take these off, this time? - “Er... Thank you, my Queen. I shall, then.”

Close the door. Breathe.

I felt like my chest was going to explode in there... And now I have to go organize a special seminar down at the Academy with only two hours' notice. Things have been so hard on Chrysalis lately... I hope this at least serves as a distraction. I never thought I'd miss having Cheery around, but she seems to make Chrysalis feel better... if I can keep her in high spirits for the next few days, until Cheery's return, maybe everything will be okay.

-

Okay... Cheery should be getting back soon. I've told the guards to direct her to the reception room... Chrysalis knows that she's getting back today, but I arranged for her to be busy in the meantime. I should have enough time to catch up with Cheery before they speak... I know Chrysalis is looking forward to speaking with Cheery, but I need to make sure Cheery doesn't go and say something that will make her upset again. It's been hard enough keeping her in good spirits these past few days.

Besides, I suppose Cheery has a right to know that her... sister, isn't in the best of moods.

“Mistress?”

Ah, right on schedule - “Yes, Nihkel? Has Cheery arrived in the Spire, or... is something the matter?

He looks pretty nervous... with Nihkel, that's not so unusual, but I have a bad feeling...

“Well, yes, Mistress, Cheery has disembarked, but... well, there was a complication.”

I hate it when people dance around the issue like this! - “Nihkel, is she here in the Spire?”

“Er, yes. She's in the reception hall, along with some, er, guests that she brought with her.”

Oh, great. Ponies. - “Cheery did say she would try to convince some ponies to come see the Hive's culture. I suppose she must have succeeded, then. I can't waste any more time here; please file the rest of my reports away for tomorrow.”

“Uh, right. Yes, Mistress!”

Get up, get out the door. Start heading for the reception hall.

Good to know Cheery pulled that off, at least. More good news for Chrysalis, as long as the ponies in question don't end up annoying her.

Round the corner. Head for the reception hall doors..

Hmm... I'll have to arrange lodgings and entertainment for our guests, somewhere that will keep them interested without- hm? I hear voices...

Stop, perk ears.

“... I still don't think it was a good idea for you to come here, Celestia! It's so risky!”

… Celestia? Did I hear someone say Celestia?

“Twilight, I appreciate your concern, but you didn't seem so nervous when you came here last.”

Twilight... Sparkle?! Celestia and Twilight Sparkle are here in the spire?!

“That was different! My friends were nearby, in case-”

“And I, like a wise pony before me, have brought some friends with me.”

… Apparently, Celestia is incredibly sappy.

“... That's so sappy, Celestia.”

Heh, looks like Twilight and I agree on something OH BY ALL THE QUEENS WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING HERE?! WHY would Cheery have... unless something went horribly wrong! I need to make sure Cheery is okay!

Open the doors. Rush in.

I don't see Cheery anywhere, yet - “Cheery, are you-”

“IQQEEEEL~!”
Pinkie's here too?!

Brace for impact.

“Wha-?! Buh- Pinkie?! Why are you-?!”

Not my most eloquent moment.

“Cheery's told us so much about you! And any friend of Cheery is a friend of mine!”

Of course she did - “URK! - And where is – GRK – Cheery, right now?”

“Pinkie, I think you may be hugging her a bit too tight.”

Was that... Cheery's voice? It sounds different... and nervous. What did I just walk into?

“Oh, whoopsie! I just got so excited, because we didn't really get a chance to talk much the last time I was here, because Cheery and I were-”

She just never stops! At least I'm free now- WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE HIVE HAPPENED TO CHEERY?!

Try not to stare slack-jawed for more than five seconds.

Okay, at least try not to make it more than ten seconds.

“Er... hi, Iqqel! Glad to be back... and stuff.

Face neutral. Steady breathing. Okay. Clearly something has happened... let's see.

Glance around the room. Pinkie stopped talking... and she seems a little nervous. Cheery and Twilight do too, actually... wait, even Celestia looks uncomfortable?!

Walk over to Cheery. Keep the tone polite. - “Cheery. It's good to have you back. What... what happened to you?”

“I... transformed.”

What. Why would she do something like that?! Chrysalis told me how dangerous it was for Cheery to attempt transformation – she could have died!

“Iqqel, please don't get upset! It's okay, I-”

Turn to the ponies - “What did you all do?!”

“Iqqel, don't blame them! I chose to transform! I-”

“WHY? Why would you do something like that?! Why would you be so reckless?! You know what could have happened! I-”

“Iqqel, please calm down!”

Did those ponies hurt her? Is that why they all look so uneasy?! Cecily's little sister... I won't stand for it! - “This... no! No! Don't try to tell me they had nothing to do with it – I can see it on their faces! And if you all hurt Cheery I swear by the depths I'll-”

“Iqqel, PLEASE stop! Please!”

Look at her.

“... Please.”

I... hurt her, by attacking them? - “Why are you covering for them, Cheery? You're here, in the hive, in your home! You are surrounded by allies, and... and your family! You don't have to-”

“Iqqel!... They're family, too.”

“... What?!”

Track motion. Celestia's approaching.

“Excuse me, Lili-Iqqel? I believe we have some explaining to do.”

-

“... So see, Iqqel? They didn't mean any harm; I overreacted, and I started the transformation, and if it wasn't for their love I -”

Hug her.

“I... Iqqel? Are you...?”

I can't believe we almost lost her... and for what? Because she doesn't feel appreciated for who she is? Because I was so focused on how she was taking attention away from Cec- Chrysalis, that I didn't think about how she felt?!

“Twilight, Pinkie... I think we had best give them some time alone. We can wait in the other room.”

Mental note: Thank Celestia for that bit of consideration, later.

“I needed to... I needed to be my own mare. I'm not sure what even came over me, Iqqel. I just had to transform.”

“I'm just glad you're okay! I- I...”

Let go of her. Pull yourself together. - “I'm sorry. I'm a wreck. This week...”

“Iqqel, thank you. It... means a lot to me to know that you care so much.”

Try to realign glasses.

I think I might have tried to swat her hoof away, a week ago. I didn't realize how much I cared... not until I thought somepony had actually hurt her. And if I wasn't aware of it... - “I'm sorry I didn't express it sooner. I'm... I just, I was so-”

Just shut up. Let her hug you.

Chapter 13: The Ceremony

I held Iqqel close to me for a long time. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I noted how she and I had never embraced before – and her contact with Chryssi, before my existence, was kept minimal as well.

Somehow, in those moments as we stayed together, and I thought back on all of the things that had changed over the past week... all of the things I had learned...

It sank in. There was no going back to the way things were before; things had changed, I had changed, and those changes weren't going to be reversed.

It reminded me a little of Chryssi's Ceremony of Names, one of the few memories from her that was still vivid to me. That feeling she had when she realized that there would be no going back to her old life...

I realized that I was growing up.

Reluctantly, I let Iqqel go so she and I could face each other. She tried to quickly wipe her face and return to a professional demeanor.

As though we'll both forget what just happened, and go back to normal.

I found myself smirking at her behavior. Despite all that had changed, one thing was now more stable than ever: I had good friends that I could rely on to help me through, no matter what else happened.

The world seemed a lot less daunting with that in mind.

“Iqqel, there's something I need to discuss with you.”

Iqqel's ears perked up, and she sat at attention, silently, waiting for me to continue.

Man, I wish I had that kind of discipline and focus. I bet Iqqel would be way better at all of that Queen stuff than I am.

I shook that thought from my head and continued.

“I actually had a reason to visit Equestria that I couldn't tell Chryssi about. You see, Pinkie Pie is the purported premier party pony-”

Iqqel cracked up slightly at my unintentional alliteration. I rolled my eyes and continued.

“-and I needed her help. See, I've been trying to plan a birthday party for Chryssi- er, I mean, I know hatching days usually aren't celebrated, but I really thought it was a nice idea, andIjustkindofwantedto-”

“Oh, so that's why you invited Pinkie Pie to the hive unexpectedly.”

That's Iqqel for you... as perceptive as a hawk, and twice as sharp.

“Uh... yeah. I wanted advice... but then she got called back to Ponyville and-”

“I think I understand, Cheery. I think it's a great idea, actually. The Queen has been so irritable and depressed lately, and I... Oh, no!”

Iqqel stiffened in sudden recognition, sending a fresh dose of panic through me.

“What?! What's wrong?”

“I came here to warn you that the Queen has been on such a hair-trigger, lately! She'll be here any minute, and when she sees you like this, she'll probably-”

Iqqel's words died in her throat as the door to the reception lounge lazily swung open, allowing Chryssi to stride through, with Celestia, Pinkie and Twilight trailing behind her at a fair distance, looking a bit concerned. Chryssi was wearing her usual smile – a seductive, wily smile that she used when she couldn't bring herself to smile sincerely, so that it looked like she was being coy instead of insincere.

She lazily tilted her head towards me, and that expression froze ever-so-slightly. She continued walking forward as if unperturbed, stopping just a few feet from us, but I could tell the gears were turning in her head, and she was concealing the real emotions at work inside of her.

After what Iqqel had said, I couldn't help but feel fear, cold and slippery like water creeping up my back. She was furious, I was sure – I had seen this behavior, and I still vaguely recalled this methodology for covering it up.

Oh please, please don't let this be a repeat of what happened when Iqqel saw me!

“H-hello, Chryssi...”

Chryssi closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath, breathing out slowly. When she opened them again, I saw something I hadn't ever seen on her face before; I was honestly unsure of what it even was, exactly.

“Hello, Cheery. Welcome home.”

Her voice came out soft – much softer than I was used to – and a bit uneven. I felt some of my fear replaced by confusion at the unusual signs, but she spoke up again before I could make sense of it.

“Cheery, you are expected for an important function in two hours. In the meantime, stay in your quarters in the Spire.”

An important function? Stay in my room?!

Iqqel looked as confused as I was, glancing between us before speaking up.

“What important function? I recall nothing being scheduled for today!”

“It's a last-minute change. Iqqel, please accompany Cheery. Do not worry yourselves. Your guests-”

Chryssi glanced behind her at my friends – my new family – with a smile, but it wasn't like the one she had worn coming in.

“-are invited as well, so they are encouraged to settle into their rooms and prepare. I will return for you when it is time for the function, but for now I must go – time is short, so we will speak later.”

With that, Chryssi whirled on her hooves and walked out. Once she passed the ponies from Equestria, I noted that she slightly quickened her pace, some of the tension going out of her shoulders.

There's definitely something going on.. and what was that smile about? I haven't seen Chryssi acting like this before...

I traded an uneasy glance with Iqqel before setting off in the direction of my room. I wasn't about to make Chryssi more upset by defying her, but I felt a definite sense of trepidation about this 'function' she had planned – and the chat she had promised to have with me.

-

Iqqel and I uneasily checked the clock together. We had spent most of the time making plans for Chryssi's party – as much to take our minds off of whatever was coming as anything – but now there were only a couple of minutes remaining.

“Iqqel, you don't think... I mean, you saw how she looked at the others, right? You don't think she'll hurt them, do you?”

Iqqel looked me in the eyes, pausing for a moment to find the right words.

“No, Cheery. I don't think so. Chrys- Queen Chrysalis knows that hurting your friends would hurt you. Even if for no other reason... I think that would stop her. We just have to have some trust in her.”

“I didn't mean to imply I didn't trust her! I just... you said-”

“It's alright. Just put those thoughts to ease unless something comes of it.”

And so we waited in tense silence, until the doors to my bedroom opened a few minutes later. Iqqel and I glanced over, surprised to see not Chryssi, but Iqqel's assistant, Nihkel.

“Pardon me, but the Queen has sent me to summon both of you to the Spire ballroom. She decided it was more practical for her to meet you there.”

Iqqel and I traded nervous looks, and quickly got up and headed out with Nihkel. As we wound through the hallways, Nihkel struggled to keep up, until we finally reached the ballroom. I took a deep breath as Nihkel forged ahead of us to push the door open, dipping into a courteous bow in the process. As I passed through the doorway, I found myself only able to entertain a single coherent thought in response to what I saw.

Didn't expect this.

The ballroom was brightly decorated in colorful – mostly shades of red, orange and purple, with some black streaks – banners. Extra tables had been pulled out, and the dividing wall between the ballroom and a secondary wing had been temporarily removed – a trick Chryssi had added when she had renovated this section of the Spire to serve for gatherings. Mostly, my impression of the room could be summed up with one thought.

It was huge.

I think you could fit most of the central town of Ponyville in here... I never did get why Chryssi ordered it to be so big. For gatherings this large, she usually addresses everyone from the Spire.

I felt Iqqel's hoof tap me in the side. Glancing over, I saw her staring intently at the banners.

“Say... Cheery? Aren't those banners in the same style as... well, you? Your wings?”

I glanced back at the banners, and then I held up my right wing. Glancing between them, I realized that Iqqel was right – just in time to be distracted when Pinkie pounced onto me in a hug, leaving me spluttering and dumbfounded. A moment later, I realized what she was saying.

“SUUUUURPRIIIIIISE! Welcome to your big party, Cheery! Ooh, this is sooo exciting! Chryssi asked me to help decorate and prepare the ballroom because it was on such short notice, and then Celestia and Twilight helped out, and it was all just so cool to be working on this big party together, and even though thisroomissobigandIdidn'tthinkwecoulddoitintimewesomehowdid AAAAND-” Pinkie took a quick gasp of air “-workingwithChryssihahthatnameisfunnywasreallycoolshe'sactually-”

“Hey! Wait up, Pinkie! Did you say this is... for me?”

“YEP! This is your super-duper super-surprise super-party!”

I took a second to parse out what Pinkie was saying while I looked up at the ballroom.

I suddenly took stock of another fact about the ballroom. Not only was it huge...

It's full.

Filled with changelings, aside from my three guests – I saw Celestia and Twilight sitting near Chryssi at the head of the room.

And then I took stock of another fact. The conversation in the ballroom had died down shortly after Pinkie's outburst.

If I didn't know better, I'd say the entire Hive is here... and they're all staring at me.

I usually love crowds, and being the center of attention. Not this time. This time, I felt scared, and ashamed, as I realized that they were all seeing me for the first time since my change.

This is why I haven't wanted to go out since the day I changed. No matter how much the others tell me I have nothing to be ashamed of, I can't help it... I'm not a pony, and judging by their stares, everyone here is realizing I'm not a changeling, either. I don't even look like a changeling Queen anymore.

I'm a freak.

Just as I started to tremble, and felt a strong urge rising to flee the ballroom, Chryssi stood up, locking gaze with me. She was wearing that strange smile again, and I saw her horn light up as she augmented her voice, making it carry out across the ballroom, yet sound like she was speaking conversationally only a few feet away.

“My dear subjects, please welcome our guest of honor tonight!”

At that, Chryssi began stomping her hooves on the ground, and buzzing her wings. At first, this caught everyone by surprise, as stomping was more of a pony ritual – the hive had always preferred the buzzing of wings as applause. Still, as Twilight and Celestia joined in, the rest of the changelings did as well, filling the hall with a tremendous clamor. More and more of the changelings, reassured by Chryssi's presence, changed their expressions from confusion or alarm to curiosity and welcome.

I caught Chryssi beckoning for me to join her, and I felt Iqqel pull me along. I numbly stumbled along behind her, trying to smile to the rest of the gathering, but I think it came out looking pained. Once we had reached the front of the hall – a table elevated on a small stone platform – Chryssi unseated herself and came around to me. We stood there, staring at each other at the foot of the long, stone table for a few tense moments – her with that strange smile, me with a nervous one to match – before she did something else I never expected.

Chryssi pulled me into a hug.

As I took in the warmth of her embrace, I realized what that look was. Love. Affection. Sincere emotion.

The things Chryssi always hid from the world, never to be shown on her face. As I thought about that, I felt the tension and fear that had gripped me start to fade away, replaced by other sensations. Love. Family. Home. I was with my family and closest friends, here in my home.

Here where I was loved.

Chryssi broke the embrace gently, and looked out over the gathering, a serene expression on her face. I glanced over to Celestia, realizing the expression reminded me of her; for her part, Celestia watched Chryssi with rapt attention, a small smile teasing at the corner of her lips.

“Listen, my subjects! This mare by me is the one you have all known as Cheery! This change in appearance is not merely cosmetic – for Cheery was never your average changeling!”

Some murmurs went through the crowd at Chryssi's words. Chryssi glanced at me, and beamed with pride. I felt heat creeping up my face as I looked out over the gathering.

Our subjects.

“When Cheery first arrived, I told you all that she was a foreign Queen, come to visit our hive and learn from us. This was a falsehood, and I regret having to deceive you all. You see, Cheery was actually far more to me – to us all – than some guest in our home. The truth of the matter is...”

My breath caught in my throat as Chryssi paused. Twilight looked absolutely stunned. Celestia merely kept her eyes neutral, that small tease of a smile remaining.

“... The truth of the matter is that Cheery was born of magic. Using a ritual provided to me so generously by Equestria-”

Twilight gasped faintly. Celestia smirked in amusement. Pinkie, for her part, had moved up to my side, and was beaming at me for some reason.

“-I was gifted with something far beyond what any of us expected. Not a simple magical creation, but a true, living being...”

Chryssi looked at me, drawing my attention back to her. Her smile became lopsided for a second, and I realized that she was stifling tears. After a second to gather her composure, she continued.

“... A little sister.”

I felt myself shudder slightly. I had always thought of Chryssi as a big sister, but she had never openly reciprocated that sentiment to me. Chryssi, for her part, drew herself up and faced our subjects again.

“She is my sister, and not mine alone! She has similar bonds to the others she brought with her, from Equestria!”

At that, I gasped. My eyes darted between Chryssi and the others. Twilight, for her part, was blushing and looking down at a corner of the room. Celestia slid her eyes over to meet mine, and nodded gently.

Sisters! Twilight had said that my transformation had taken an imprint of them – the love they felt for me – and had changed me in turn, but...

… well, in retrospect, I guess that is the same kind of bond I have with Chryssi and Pinkie, isn't it?

Watching Twilight and Celestia's reactions, I realized that they had come to this conclusion a long time ago.

They must have wanted to wait for the rest of the changes to sink in before discussing it...

“Cheery's journey to Equestria has changed our worlds for the better. Her transformation signals that she has come of age, and her bonds shall ensure...”

Chryssi faltered for a moment, looking suddenly pained. Some murmurs went through the crowd, but Chryssi soon mastered herself and raised her head again. Her voice came out a little more deadpan than before, her eyes more set.

“... Shall ensure that the Changeling Hive Chrysalis and Equestria have a long, prosperous relationship.”

Cheers went throughout the crowd again. Chryssi looked over at me, and I saw her expression soften again. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and holding it for a moment, before looking back out to the crowd.

Chryssi... you did all of this for me? Even with how bad you've felt lately, even with how much you hate speaking to crowds...

“Since she has come of age, the time has come for us to honor our traditions. It may be an unusual circumstance, but I have gathered all of you together for my sister's Ceremony of Names!”

Ceremony of names? But...

Cheers went through the crowd once more, as Chryssi walked over towards me and lifted my chin in her hoof. Her voice came through almost as a whisper, though I knew everyone could hear it just as well as I.

“I know the circumstances are unusual – her change has already occurred, after all, and I suspect that occurred in private, as most Ceremonies do. But I wish for everyone to recognize what has happened. No one should have to live with the label of a single emotion, either – least of all you, sister, who feels so much and so deeply.”

For a second, I wondered why everything was getting so blurry.

“Everyone, please recognize our Hive's first Princess. Princess Chiri.”

Chapter 14: Say goodbye...

The express train back to Ponyville... this isn't where I thought I would be today.

It was Queen Chrysalis' Hatching Day, the changeling equivalent to a birthday. Princess Chiri, Iqqel and Pinkie had been planning a big party for her. Shortly after Chiri's Ceremony of Names, they let Celestia and me in on their plans.

They had some great ideas. Today was really going to be one amazing party...

I glanced over at my traveling companion. She was idly staring out of the window, her eyes far away; her face had been set in a perpetual scowl since we had exited the caves, and the sight of Equestria in the morning had begun to flood in from the windows. We had a private car, though it hardly mattered; there were no other passengers on this train anyway.

I guess that's how it goes when you organize emergency transport. I wonder how many passengers are going to have to wait for the next train scheduled because of this?

I sighed. I knew I was just trying to distract myself from the situation at hoof. Glancing again at my companion, I felt it was only appropriate to try to start some kind of conversation, something to take our minds off of the issue.

“Excuse me, Chrysalis? I was-”

“I don't wish to speak, Twilight.”

I paused at that, watching her carefully. After a few moments of that intense scrutiny, Chrysalis pulled her gaze from the window to look at me, scowl and all.

“Erh... What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I'm not stupid, Chrysalis.”

“What? How did that-”

“I realize that you probably don't feel like speaking right now... but I also know how it is to be so worried about something that you feel like the only thing you should do is just fixate on it, even though thinking about the problem isn't actually going to help.”

Chrysalis just stared at me for a few moments, her scowl fading as she considered my words. I pressed on in response.

“The only thing we can do right now is wait for this train to take us to Ponyville. So maybe a little conversation to keep our minds off of... what awaits us, isn't such a bad idea.”

Chrysalis glanced away when I mentioned what was waiting for us. As much as she had tried to hide her concern back at the Hive, I could tell that the news brought her equal parts rage and sorrow. As we had gotten closer to our destination, she had become increasingly irritated, even yelling at one of the train's wait-staff when they tried to bring us drinks. To be honest... I was worried about her.

Worrying about Chrysalis' emotional health... I almost wish I could use a time travel spell to tell my younger self that I'd be at this point, just to see the look on my face.

Chrysalis gently nodded her assent.

“I suppose it's not so unreasonable. Fine... what do you wish to discuss, Twilight?”

“Well... I guess, for starters, that was an amazing thing you did for Chiri.”

Chrysalis glanced up at me in surprise. The ceremony had just been three days ago, but things had been hectic since then – what with us discretely preparing Chrysalis' birthday party without her knowledge, and Chrysalis going over various aspects of the Cultural Exchange Program with Celestia – and so there had not been a chance for us to speak about it.

“Did... do you really think so?”

“Yeah, absolutely! I mean, I was worried about how changelings would react to how her appearance had changed, and... and just...”

“How she would fit in to the Hive, or be open about her birth and family?”

“Yeah! But you dealt with all of that! Rather than having to continue keeping secrets about herself, you made sure that she could be open about... well, everything. You... you gave her a home.”

I gestured with my hooves a bit, but I couldn't think of any words to follow that up. Chrysalis, for her part, smiled faintly in response, looking relieved.

“I'm glad you think so. I'm not very... experienced at having a family, in the immediate sense of the word that ponies employ.”

Chrysalis looked a little uncomfortable at that admission, but it surprised me more than anything. It hadn't occurred to me that Chrysalis would actually feel insecure about... well, anything, much less this.

“It goes to show how much you care that you were concerned about it... but, I mean, you saw how happy it made her, right? What was there to worry about?”

Chrysalis fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. It was actually kind of cute, which wasn't an adjective I had expected to be applying to the Queen of the Changelings.

“... Well... I had considered whether or not to let Chiri choose her own name at the ceremony...”

“Ah, right! That's how it's normally done, right?”

“In theory, yes. A lot of changelings have already taken some kind of name before the ceremony begins, and they just confirm it...”

“But you confirmed it for her. Her role in the hive, too. It didn't really occur to me before... Why do things that way?”

“Because the whole... the thing that separates changeling royalty, at least traditionally...”

“Ah! Right! You told me that the Queens of the hive have a name assigned to them, and the job is... er, well, it's sort of thrust upon them, I guess?”

I smiled anxiously. I didn't want to sound condescending or insensitive, but this was the way it worked as I understood it. Thankfully, Chrysalis nodded.

“That is... more or less correct. Hive Chrysalis has never had a 'princess' before... so I decided to sort of split the difference between a normal Ceremony of Names and a royal one.”

“Oh... you said that the Speaker at your ceremony bowed to you once you were confirmed. That explains why you bowed to Chiri, too! You were taking the role of the Speaker.”

“That, and I couldn't think of a way to, er... subtly encourage the rest of the gathering to recognize her status.”

It took me a moment to catch on to what she meant.

“Oh! Ah! Yeah, I guess it would be awkward to just...”

I sat up in my seat, trying to look haughty, waving a hoof out over an invisible audience. Then, in my most haughty, commanding, and – being honest – hammy voice, I declared;

“NOW BOW, SUBJECTS! BOW TO THIS ONE!”

Both of us had a good laugh at that. Laughing alongside Chrysalis felt good – like we had finally broken through a wall of ice that had formed between us.

“Hahah, yes, Twilight, that's precisely what I was trying to avoid. Besides, I figured that even if no one else caught on... it was enough that I showed her respect.”

“Heehee... So, by splitting the difference, you mean you chose a name that reflected the one she had already chosen?”

“Indeed. That, and her role as Princess is... largely left at her discretion. She has the authority to do many things, but she doesn't have the responsibility that a Queen does. She's more or less free to do what she wants. She can change her own name or abdicate her role as Princess if she wants.”

“... And I guess the ability to leave the job behind is the most important difference between that and being a Queen, when you get down to it, huh?”

Chrysalis nodded, and an uneasy silence settled between us. I knew I had just touched on something sensitive, but I felt it was necessary. I wanted to understand Chrysalis better, and that meant understanding her position as Queen.

Still... forced into the role, with no choice in the matter, and no ability to leave? Stuck with that responsibility your whole life?

Suddenly, I understood why Chiri had spoken so much about what it 'meant to be a Queen' when she was staying with us in Ponyville. It was something that really weighed heavily on her...

“Oh... you were trying to free her of that burden...”

“... Of course. She didn't deserve that.”

“Neither did you!”

Chrysalis paused at that, like I had just spoken in a foreign language. She blinked a few times, considering my words, and I pressed forward.

“There's no one above you in the hive, right? So couldn't you just... change the law, and leave your position?”

“It's not that simple. It isn't any law that binds me to my office, it's... complicated.”

“But that's just so... unfair.”

“I don't really think of it as unfair. I... prefer to have my position in the hive. I want to help my subjects.”

“If it wasn't unfair, you wouldn't have rushed to make sure no one else had to do it if they didn't want to.”

Chrysalis frowned at that, considering. After a few moments, she chuckled faintly to herself, and glanced back at me.

“I guess you win this round, Twilight. It's not really fair, but it's not so bad.”

After a few moments, I decided to let it drop, and nodded. I decided to change the subject back to more positive topics.

“So what was that you and Chiri were singing together, after the formalities were over and everyone was eating?”

“Oh, that! Hah! Well, that's just a song she and I happen to both know. It was written for post-ceremony celebrations, but it never really caught on.”

“Why not? It was really good!”

I had really enjoyed the song. It celebrated coming of age and making one's own way in the world, deciding for yourself what was important enough to spend your time on.

“It was never published, is all.”

“Never published...? But then how do you both know it? Who wrote it?”

Chrysalis' mouth opened and closed a couple of times as she blinked in apparent confusion, trying to recall the memory. After a few more moments of concentration, she finally shook her head lightly, looking a little frustrated.

“I suppose that I did.”

“Oh! Wow, I didn't know you wrote music!”

“... A long time ago.”

I realized that she must have meant before her own ceremony.

Oh, no... I can give a fair guess as to why that song never got published. She probably planned to debut it after her own ceremony... man, even when I try to change the subject, we end up back on this stuff...

I decided to just ask about something that had been bothering me, since it didn't look like attempting to be tactful was getting me anywhere.

“So, er... I was wondering something. At the ceremony, you said that the Equestrians had helped you with that spell...”

“I did.”

“But... er...”

Chrysalis fixed me with an absolutely devilish grin, making me acutely aware of how sharp her teeth were. I froze, realizing she was waiting for me to say something to the effect of us not being involved. Instead, I sighed.

No way am I a good enough liar for this anyway, and now that Chiri is involved... the example Chrysalis set at the ceremony is right. Openness and honesty are the best policy right now.

“Okay, okay, fine. We did intentionally let you get ahold of that formula.”

Chrysalis giggled, while I rolled my eyes, a smirk forming of my own. But now I had another question...

“But how did you figure that out?”

“Twilight, as soon as I realized the spell had done something unexpected, I began researching it vigorously – to the exclusion of almost everything else. I'm glad Chiri was there, because otherwise I would have been neglecting my duties. I had no choice, though.”

“What do you mean?”

Chrysalis gaze darkened slightly, and her voice became more serious.

“I had given life to something that, according to the original spell formula, was slated to disappear within six months. The moment I realized Chiri was capable of learning and growing, I knew she was alive. And I protect those I am responsible for.”

I found myself staring at Chrysalis as she spoke. As intimidating as she might have been under other circumstances, speaking that way, I found myself admiring her protective instincts.

The invasion and its aftermath must have been really hard on her, then... but I shouldn't bring that up right now.

Instead, I just nodded. Chrysalis continued after a moment, in a somewhat lighter voice.

“Part of my research of the spell included looking into its supposed author, a pony wizard who had encountered an unknown crystal – what I recognized as luminite – and created the spell in his experiments. That pony wizard didn't exist anywhere in the Equestrian archives, and I started to suspect that I had been fooled. A little investigation confirmed it.”

The idea that Chrysalis' agents could so easily 'investigate' that sort of thing made me a little uneasy, but I didn't let it show. Judging by her smug grin, she knew anyway.

Before I could speak again, however, we felt the train coming to a halt, and glancing outside confirmed that we had reached our destination. Ponyville. I felt my heart leap into my throat, and glancing at Chrysalis, I saw a pained expression on her face as well. Earlier that day, Iqqel had muttered about it being 'one of those days' when the news had been brought to us in the hive.

I suddenly found myself agreeing completely.

-

Chrysalis grumbled in response to what I had said.

“So you're saying that you need to stay here, even for this?”

“I'm sorry. It's for the best if I do... I don't mean to be insensitive, it's just-”

“No, I understand. This is normally done in private, with only the dearest friends – if anyone – present... but I suppose it can't be helped in this case. I guess you should consider yourself... honored.”

It was hard to feel honored, standing there playing a role halfway between chaperone and bodyguard. Chrysalis and I were looking down at a changeling, lying unconscious on a hospital bed, and she had just lapsed into an intense concentration, her horn lighting up.

We had hurried through the streets of Ponyville to get to the general hospital. Chrysalis had all but exploded on the supervising doctor when he had informed her that they had done all that they could. I had managed to calm her down, and the doctor had done his best to be apologetic for the situation, but no amount of apologies could fix the situation.

They just don't know enough about how to treat changeling injuries here. It's not exactly part of the normal curriculum in Equestrian medicine...

When we had been notified that a changeling had been involved in a serious accident, back in the hive, we had only been an hour from springing Chrysalis' surprise party on her. We quickly agreed to postpone it until after she returned. Back then, we anticipated that Chrysalis would come back exhausted, but things would work out fine.

But the first thing Chrysalis had said when she walked in the door and saw the state the poor changeling was in was that he was beyond her help. She had spent hours trying anyway, getting progressively more and more worn down... but no amount of magic or love energy was helping.

“The doctors said that he was already gone by the time we got here...”

“He wasn't. Not... not exactly. Changelings don't just disappear the way ponies do, Twilight.”

I flinched in surprise at her response. I hadn't even meant to say that out loud, and I certainly hadn't expected a reply when she was so deep in concentration.

“Disappear?”

“When a changeling is near death, they enter a hibernation state. It preserves them so that they... so that their Queen can say goodbye to them.”

I covered my mouth with my hoof, realizing the meaning of what she had said. If the doctors had known about that, they might have continued trying to save him, even after he was gone. It certainly explained Chrysalis' efforts.

Chrysalis said that she was going to give him last rites... I guess that's what she means by 'say goodbye'?

“Okay. I'm ready. Twilight, stand back, and... try not to be noticeable. She won't be happy to see you.”

“She?”

Chrysalis' horn was growing incandescent at this point. I recognized that the spell was already activating, and Chrysalis couldn't stop it now.

“His Queen.”

With that, the green energy around Chrysalis' horn enveloped her entire body, and then burned like flame for a second before burning out, signaling a transformation. It reminded me a little of Chiri's transformation except that this was definitely done properly – and definitely not performed with pure love energy.

And yet... she doesn't look that different. A different manecut, and a lot older, maybe. The lines on her face are all different...

She almost looked like a grandmother changeling. Before I could muse on that any further, though, she looked back down at the changeling on the bed, and her eyes winced in pain. I saw her take a few shuddering breaths, as the pace of her breathing quickened, and tears began to stream down her face.

Slowly, gingerly, she lifted a hoof to the changeling's cheek. Most of his body was covered in bandages, but his face was thankfully uncovered. She gently stroked it, muttering.

“Piro-Krittith...you were far too young for this fate...”

Krittith... that name sounds familiar.

Slowly, a green aura faded into sight in that part of the room. It didn't seem to be coming directly from any one point – it just was.

And, much to my amazement, the changeling's eyelids slowly rose, revealing two deep, crimson eyes.

“Ch... Chrysalis? Queen Chrysalis?”

The changelings expression slowly changed to one of fear, but that was quickly replaced by confusion when Chrysalis swept him into her arms, clutching him to her chest and weeping.

“Not that Chrysalis... your mother. The old Queen.”

The old Queen? Is that what that transformation was?

“Oh... Oh...”

His eyes registered in comprehension, and he sighed, closing them. He gently nuzzled Chrysalis back, before she laid him back on the bed. He looked up at her, his expression that of someone who is sleepy, but trying to focus, and he spoke quickly and clearly.

“So... I guess that means this is it, huh?”

He has to... know that it's coming? That must be so awful...

“I'm so sorry, my child. I could not make it in time. The so-called 'doctors' of this wretched nation knew nothing of how to care for you, and-”

“Stop! Don't speak of Equestria that way.”

Chrysalis – or was it... old-Chrysalis? – bit back a reply, and nodded.

“Whatever you wish, my child. I am just... upset that it had to be this way. I didn't expect to see you again except as an old, proud figure who had retired from a life as one of the most successful Infiltrators in our history.”

That's right, some of the Infiltrators – the changelings that were responsible for spying on Equestria – came forward and asked for asylum in Equestria, even before the Cultural Exchange Program. He must have been one of the first. That would explain where I heard the name, before.

Krittith chuckled weakly at that, shaking his head.

“I discovered a better way... and if I'm going to pass away now, then... I do so without regret.”

Chrysalis shook her head, gently brushing his cheek.

“I'll never understand why you chose to live among ponies, or to... forsake your connection to the hive, but none of that matters, now. Even if you made odd choices, you were still one of my children... and you will still be remembered.”

That's a nice thing to say.

“Then make sure it is all remembered.”

Chrysalis balked slightly at that, looking at him in surprise. He strained slightly to press forward.

“All of it. Don't just... archive my earlier years. I want other changelings to understand exactly why I made the choices I did. I want them to see the connections I had with my friends, here.”

Archive?

Chrysalis eyed him warily for a few seconds, caught up in some kind of internal debate. She opened her mouth, her expression indicating she was going to say something hostile, and then suddenly flinched, pulling her face to the side and closing her eyes. She slowly returned her gaze to Krittith, and fresh tears found their way to her eyes.

“Of course, child. The current Queen demands that it be so, regardless. All memories as accurate and sincere as they can be.”

So... the current Chrysalis doesn't want any distortion of history? Good for her!

Krittith stared at her for a while, and then nodded, his eyes sliding shut.

“Then I'm ready.”

At that, both of their horns began glowing. I watched in a mixture of horror and fascination as Krittith opened his eyes, and red, glowing energy slowly flowed from his eyes, forming a marble-sized ball in front of him, and leaving his eyes as white and blank as a nymph's. The small pocket of energy slowly flowed over to Chrysalis, and gently pressed against her head, directly between her eyes, spreading out in the process.

Chrysalis gasped when contact was made, and closed her eyes as the energy spread, creating an intricate tattoo-like pattern across her face and neck. The red lines glowed with energy for a few more seconds, before disappearing, along with the glow from both of their horns. I noticed, with some alarm, that the green aura of the room was rapidly diminishing.

“It is done. Tell my friends... all of them... that I love them.”

Krittith closed his eyes, and sighed.

And just like that, the aura was gone completely. Chrysalis, her eyes still closed, grit her teeth and choked out a reply.

“I will, Krittith. They will know.”

I sat back for a couple of minutes, letting Chrysalis cry undisturbed. My mind was still reeling with what I had seen.

THAT'S a changeling's idea of last rites? That's... I have so many questions, and... and he's really dead, I thought she'd be able to help him, but he's...

I grimaced, and shook my head to clear it. I couldn't help Krittith, but I could help Chrysalis. I gently walked over to her, and put a hoof on her shoulder.

And she smacked it away, her eyes suddenly burning with green flame, and her mouth curled into a snarl.

“DO NOT PRESUME TO TOUCH ME, you FILTH! If it wasn't for this, this... if it wasn't for YOU, you ponies, Krittith would still be alive! Your incompetence, how you seduced one of my CHILDREN to turn their back on their FAMILY! I should destroy you, here and now, for having the AUDACITY to... to...”

I had staggered back several steps, feeling adrenaline spiking through me as I prepared for some kind of fight. Chrysalis' rambling died down, however, and she started shaking heavily, the fire gone from her eyes. She was still snarling, but now she wasn't looking at me – she was gazing off to the side at nothing in particular.

I watched her screw her eyes shut, and a quick green flame passed over her form, replacing her older countenance with the Chrysalis I recognized. Her shaking quickly subsided, and she drew herself up straight, taking several deep breaths. As her face slid back into a neutral – though weary – expression, she calmed her breathing, and then opened her eyes to look at me.

“I am sorry for her outburst, Twilight. My mother was not... a fan of ponies.”

I blinked uncomprehendingly for a couple of seconds before I realized what had happened. It wasn't Chrysalis – at least, not the one that I was familiar with – that had attacked me, but the previous Queen. The one that had hatched the one that I knew.

“I... okay. I think I get it.”

Chrysalis nodded, looking a little ashamed.

“Thank you. I didn't mean for that to happen – or any of this, really. But it's all... part of the office.”

She stared down at Krittith, weariness and sorrow in her gaze. The implications of what she had said started to hit me.

“So the previous Queen lives on... inside of you?”

Chrysalis nodded faintly. “It is a Queen's duty to provide last rites to all of her children... even if she has already passed on herself.”

Part of the job is... you have to bear witness to the final moments of all of your children?

I felt tears stinging my own eyes as I watched Chrysalis break her gaze away from Krittith and move towards the door, presumably to inform the medical staff. My mind went back to our earlier conversation.

“This is what you were trying to spare Chiri from?”

Chrysalis paused, her eyes still downcast.

“It's the burden I carry... so no one else has to.”

And with that, Chrysalis left me to my thoughts. As I heard her begin speaking to the nurse on duty, my thoughts wandered to my own actions, and those I knew who sacrificed for those they cared about.

What's so different? Why do I feel this is just so... unfair?

Unfair was the word I kept coming around to, though it felt like a childish reaction. After all, many others that I knew and respected gave of themselves for the benefit of others, so why did this bother me so much? As I turned the problem around in my head, I eventually came to just one conclusion.

It was their choice.

Chapter 10: Your Letters

~~~

Miss Princess Celestia,

I can't believe I'm actually writing to you! I'm such a big fan of yours! Big Bro Piro says I've gotta hurry so I'm sorry if this is a little messy!

I heard that you raise the sun and you watch over everyone and you read all the letters people send you and that you've lived for CENTURIES! How cool is that!! I can only imagine all of the amazing stuff you must have seen!

Equestria just seems so cool! My family isn't a big fan but maybe someday I'll get to go there! I've studied really hard on how ponies do stuff and it just seems like everything over there is so much more cool and warm and fuzzy.

I really like pony families! You guys stick together and you have these people who are always there for you and I think that's just a great idea. I've tried talking about it with the others but they think I'm pretty weird for getting all worked up about stuff like this.

But I don't think it's weird at all. You guys have the right idea. Make close friends, stick together, help each other out. And things are so advanced in Equestria! I've heard there are entire schools devoted to just one subject, like magic! I want to learn magic, too!

My family may not like it, but I'm going to work really hard, and I'm going to make everyone see how important this is, and when I grow up to be big and important and stuff I'm going to go to Equestria and I'm going to meet you! We can stand together and show everyone the right way to live!

Oh, Piro's about to leave! I'll write again soon!

XOXOXO

~~~

~~~

Dear Miss Princess Celestia,

Big Bro says he sent the last letter, and that the Equestrian Postal Service never fails, so I really hope you got it! I'm sorry it's been a couple of years, Bro-Piro says it's really risky to send them. If Mom found out she would throw an absolute fit! Oh, but I bet a couple of years are nothing at all to you, huh?

Guess what?! Big Bro brought back some Equestrian instruments from last time he visited there! He knows how much I like Equestrian stuff. We don't really mess with instruments, here. Everyone just whistles or jumps around to make noise. Whistling always seemed so silly to me, though. When you hold your hoof to your face to make the right sound, it looks like you're eating something.

Oh, but Equestrian instruments are so refined! I practice with them every day! Maybe someday I'll be good enough to play for you, too! Everyone still thinks I'm silly for being so into Equestria, but I'll show them who's silly when I'm famous all-over for my musical skills!

My best sis Iqqel is pretty interested in Equestrian stuff, too. She's already going by her chosen name. A lot of people say we're wrong for not waiting for our Ceremony of Names, but I think the pony way is better! It's hard to tell everyone apart without names, especially when you're writing!

Oh, the pony name I picked is Cecily! It's a really old pony name, but I think it's pretty, and Big Bro says he thinks it really suits me! What do you think of it?

We're going to do great stuff together! I'll take her to meet you when I visit! Bro says he can send another letter again in a year, so I'll make sure I've got all kinds of neat stuff to tell you then! Bye!

XOXOXO

-Cecily

P.S.: I almost forgot! My mom would be really super upset if she found out we were sending these to you, so that's why there's no return address. I promise I'll come visit you someday, though, so don't worry!

~~~

~~~

Dear Princess Celestia,

That year took sooooo long, I didn't think it would ever end! So much stuff has happened! You remember I mentioned my instruments? I've gotten really good at playing them! I can't really compare it to any pony musicians, but Big Bro got me some sheet music and a couple of books, and I can play almost everything in them now!

Mom says that my skill with music is really impressive, and that I'll grow up to be a great music Maker! That sounds like a lot of fun, but I don't know if that's what I want to do. There's so much other stuff to do and explore, I don't want to get stuck on just one thing!

Everyone's gotten used to calling me 'Cecily' now, even though my Ceremony is still two years away. A lot of other kids are taking on nicknames and stuff, too, now! It makes me feel really grown-up. I've also been practicing my magic a lot! Mom says I'm way too young to learn it, but that won't stop me!

They say our magic is no match for a unicorn's, but maybe I'll be the one to change that! I'll work really hard on that, too! Big Bro told me you ran a school just for that kind of stuff, so maybe some day I'll go there! Or even teach there!

Big Bro says I've gotta keep this one short, but I'll write again next year! See you then!

-Cecily

~~~

~~~

Dear Princess Celestia,

Piro-Ammon insists he's been getting my letters to you all this time. I'm not sure I believe him, but I can't let the opportunity slip by. He had better not be lying, though. I'm not a baby anymore, my Ceremony is only six months away!

Mom says I'm a 'rebel'. How stupid is that? I've been studying Equestrian government and I think it's an improvement on how we handle things! That doesn't make me a 'rebel', I just want to see things get better!

Some of my instruments broke. I was really upset, but I learned to make music with my magic, so it turned out okay. I don't need instruments anymore. Mom says she's never seen a kid so gifted with magic before.

A lot of people want to be my mentor. Makers, Soldiers... but I'm going to be a Thinker. I decided on that already. I'm going to help reshape our government and improve things! We should have schools just like Equestria, this mentoring stuff is so antiquated!

Iqqel's behind me, at least. She thinks my ideas are great! Don't tell anyone, but she's the real reason I'm going to be a Thinker. She told me a long time ago she was going to be, and I'm not getting separated from my best friend!

Once I'm a Thinker in my own right, I'll be able to make my own decisions! Mom says we're not allowed to leave home without express permission, but I'll either get that permission or I'll just sneak out. I'm going to come see you as soon as I can!

-Cecily

~~~

~~~

Dear Princess Celestia,

My Ceremony of Names is tomorrow night! I know I shouldn't be nervous. All the other kids look up to me, and all the adults say I'm going to do great things, but I can't help it. I feel like I'm about to wake up from a good dream.

But this means I'll be able to come and see you soon! Mom already gave permission for me to go to Equestria to study! She doesn't know I've been sending you letters (and she'd be REALLY angry if she knew I was going to go have a chat with you), but she doesn't need to know. It's my life!

I need to rest up for the ceremony. Bro sprang it on me at the last minute that he could get another letter to you. Wait for me, Celestia! I'm coming to see you soon!

Cordially yours,

-Cecily

~~~

Author's Note

Comments and speculation are welcome. Feel free to message me privately.