Living in Equestria

Not surprisingly, Ashley didn't clam up during the trip back to the farm and soon was engaged in an argument with Scootaloo that sounded remarkably like friends fighting over something ridiculous. The two walked in front of the group with a mute Sweetie Belle who'd wisely bowed out early before things got heated. On more than one occasion, Twilight caught my eye with a small, knowing smile.

"I don't care if it's got a wing span that big, it ain't out flying a Wonderbolt!" Scootaloo argued and the red dragoness huffed.

"You don't even know what you're talking about! A northie scout can fly faster than a thunderclap!"

"Pfft! So! Rainbow Dash here can fly so fast she can make a sonic rainboom! Can't ya Dash?!"

"Darn right I can!" Dash puffed her chest out proudly as the small pegasus and Ashley looked around. Her glittering red eyes rolled dramatically before she spoke again.

"Whatever... I don't even know what that is! That could be like... like... like a lava snail farting or something!" she dismissed with a wave.

Sweetie Belle, despite being on Scootaloo's side by default, couldn't stifle a snicker at Ashley's description. Scootaloo whipped her head around to give her friend a scathing look before turning back to the red dragoness walking beside her.

"It's not a snail farting! It's the fastest a pegasus can ever fly! Probably the fastest anything can fly!"

"Whaddya you know! You've never even seen a fully grown dragon fly!" Ashley gestured in exasperation.

"I don't have to 'cause I know Rainbow Dash is faster than any dragon around!" Scootaloo challenged her back.

"Well I am pretty fa-" Dash started to boast but her words were cut off by the arguing pair talking over her, going back and forth and not noticing her interjection at the slightest. The blue flyer's ears folded back and a hurt look played over her face briefly at being ignored.

The two were just talking over each other now, beyond the point of any rational conversation as their passions about the subject overwhelmed their ability to articulate it. I quickened my pace a step and put myself between them, my hand going on Scootaloo's neck.

"Heh heh... why don't we drop it for now. I'm sure dragons can fly pretty darn fast, Ashley, and the only way we can settle it is to have a race. Know any dragons around here ready for a sprint?" I offered, half joking and half serious.

Ashley glared at me briefly before turning away. When she pouted and folded her arms across her chest as she walked, I couldn't help but smile and reach out, giving the large white spine on the top of her head a friendly shake. "Don't pout... Your face will freeze that way, you know."

I didn't expect the reaction I got.

"Really?!" Ashley, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all said in unison and their faces turned towards me with wide eyed horror. The attention was enough to catch me off guard for a moment.

"W-well... I mean... I guess if you..." I stammered.

"Mason, don't scare them like that! A human's face doesn't really freeze... does it?" Twilight tentative inquisition from behind me made me realize they'd probably never heard that expression before.

"I... no. It's just an expression." said quietly.

"Egg sucker!" Ashley kicked my left foot.

"Asshole!" Scootaloo stomped on my right.

I fell, holding my feet painfully as the group walked on, Fluttershy helped me up and let me lean on her with a giggle as I massaged the tops of my toes.

Applejack greeted us at the gate leading into Sweet Apple Acres looking like a mess. Her face and hat were both black with scorch marks and her blonde mane, usually pulled tight and kept with red ties, was heavily mussed . There was a wild and desperate look of relief in her eyes as our small party neared the gate.

"Good gravy! Am I ever glad ta see you Twilight. Spike's outta control! I dun no what got in ta that dragon this morning but he's already crispied up the blanket and everything else around him and if it wasn't for Rarity's spell, that cage woulda been gone long ago!"

"I- I just don't understand, Applejack!" Rarity said, "He was fine not to long ago... better than he'd ever been!"

I noticed Rarity's face was red. Something about her reaction struck me as odd but I figured this wasn't the time to question her about it. Applejack's attention quickly focused on Ashley.

"Thank Celestia!" she said when she spied the sullen small dragoness padding along beside Scootaloo, "This tha girl that's gonna fix Spike up?"

"Well.. that's up to Ashley, I guess. I'm not sure how much time they'll need to warm up to each other." Twilight said sheepishly.

A belch of fire rang out hard against he barn, pulling our attention away from the conversation. The last few licks of flame dissipated in the distance and I could see Spike crouched in the cage next to the red building, his hands clutching the bars. Even from this far away it was obvious that his purple scales were paler and tinted with a sickly color more than normal.

"Wow... he does look rough." I said.

"Sugarcube... you don't know tha half of it. He 'bout bit mah hoof off when I tried ta give him some of those shards ya'll left us money ta buy."

"You're keeping him... In a cage.... And you're surprised he's mad and flaming at you?!" Ashley spoke up, stepping in front of Applejack with an angry look, "You're really shocked at that?!"

"Now look here... Puttin him in that there cage wasn't my idea! Don't get your scales all twisted up on account a me for that!" Applejack bristled.

"Ashley, we told you already... he was out of control!" Twilight said, coming between Applejack and her, "It was all my decision to put him in there until we could figure out how to help him. And now that you're here, do you... do you think you can?"

The red girl's face went flat and gave a groan of irritation before she turned and stomped across the field towards the barn where the cage sat. We followed in a tight group, Scootaloo pressing against me and I put my arm around her neck. As we got closer, we could see the damage Spike's flames had done to the surrounding area. Charred remains of a blanket lay smoldering nearby and the ground around the cage was blackened. He looked out at us with a savage expression, his bloodshot eyes bulging from their sockets and saliva dripped from his open, panting mouth.

"Ashley... do you... do you want us to leave you two alone or something?" Twilight asked when we stopped a few feet from the cage, an awkwardness in her voice.

"What for?" she said over her shoulder, striding up to the cage unafraid, "You ponies that sissy you can't handle watching?"

"Well..." Twilight shrank back, her ears flattening on her head as she looked away.

"Just open the-" Ashley began as she neared Spike but was cut off by a blast of green flame that encompassed her whole body. Everypony, including myself, let out a shocked gasp only to be amazed when Ashley remained unscathed after the fan of fire had passed. Only small, curling wisps of smoke rising from both of her white ear flaps were the only sign she'd even experienced it.

Her head slightly cocked to the side and she slowly reached up a hand to gently touch the talons on one of Spike's hands that clutched around the bars. Spike's eyes focused on her and his nostrils flared. The red, vulgar protrusion from his underbelly flexed visibly, fluid leaking from it's tip and dripping to the cage floor. The young dragoness showed no signs of being grossed out or disturbed by any of it and when she next spoke, it was in a language I had no business ever knowing existed.

It was guttural, but musical at the same time. Filled with harsh consonants that probably couldn't be duplicated by my own vocal cords even if I tried. Her high pitched voice echoed strongly off the wall of the barn, letting us hear clearly as she spoke to Spike in what must have been their own language. When she finished the string of speech, she stood there silently for a moment, appearing to wait.

But Spike didn't respond at all, he only stood there panting with ragged breaths, not even looking like himself anymore. In fact, no signs of the plucky young dragon remained and only a primal, animalistic visage showed on his otherwise normally happy face. He wasn't even speaking, just letting out an occasional grunt.

Ashley stepped back from the cage and turned to us. "He doesn't understand Drakken?" she asked, her face sad and disappointed, "How can he not understand Drakken?"

Only Twilight could answer her sincere question.

"Ashley... I've raised Spike from the moment he hatched. I- I know of the language... but I never could teach him such a unique and special thing. He's never really been around other dragons except for a few brief times." the alicorn looked ashamed, not able to meet the young girl's eyes.

"Poor guy..." Ashley said, ignoring Spike's panting and moved to the end of the cage where the door was latched shut, "Can you open it... please?" her voice was soft and caring.

"If you're sure about this Ashley, then..." Twilight's horn briefly glowed and the unmistakable sound of metal tumblers snicking back came from the lock.

We all watched with fixed stares as her small red hands grasped the door of the cage, swinging it open slowly with her eyes on Spike. He turned his head and bared his fangs at her, a small growl escaping his lips. She advanced, reaching a clawed hand out to him slowly and was greeted by another blast of flame that passed harmlessly over her body. She did squint against it, however, like a swimmer would against the water on his face as he swam through it.

"Spike..." she said quietly.

The purple dragon rushed her then, his stubby arms outstretched and grasping at the girl in front of him. He gave a squeal of desire seconds before Ashley dodged to the side with a sudden swiftness, knocking his hands away and pushing him sideways towards the bars. She pounced, wrapping her arms around him from behind as he thrashed and struggled to break free.

"Ashley!" Twilight called out with worry.

We all took a step forward with concern. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle pressed against me and Sweetie pushed her face against my hip, unable to watch. Flutershy squeaked and Rainbow Dash grabbed onto her for comfort.

Rarity rushed forward. "Don't hurt him, you hear me! Don't you hurt my Spiky Wikey!" she cried.

Ashley paid no attention to any of us. When she had the struggling Spike pressed up against the bars, she pushed him hard, holding his body firmly into the cage facing away from her. His red member stuck grotesquely out as his midsection bulged in the gap between two bars.

I was expecting something to happen and I thought about turning away. I also thought about covering Scootaloo and Sweetie's eyes for some strange reason. A whole host of thoughts ran through my head about if we should even be witnessing this at all.

Jesus.. I didn't want to watch two young dragons fuck violently.

I was about to turn when Ashley did something crazy. She sat down on her butt and planted her feet against Spike's backside, bracing herself with one foot on either side of his butt as she grasped his scaly purple and green tail in both hands. Spike gave a tiny but impressive roar for his size, fire seeped from his throat and licked up his snout while he tried to twist his body around but Ashley held him fast.

She gave a great, heaving tug on his tail while pushing with her feet, grunting with the effort. Spike's body pressed flat against the bars, his face going wide with pain and rage. Suddenly, the strange looking tube of flesh that served as his penis swelled and several small points jutted from the smooth sides of it, reminding me of how a blow up doll suddenly gets it's shape when filled with air. He writhed and growled, but still Ashley kept yanking on his tail. We all jumped back a step when a jet of thick fluid shot from the end of Spike's member, landing several feet from the cage and narrowly missing Rainbow Dash's hooves.

"Ashley! What in Equestria are you doing?" Rarity called out, running to the open end of the cage with worry.

"What... does... it look like?!" she grunted and gave a final, massive yank.

A sickening series of popping sounds, like the loud splintering of knotty wood in a campfire, came from Spike's body. His voice went from a guttural growl to a young sounding scream of pain that stabbed my heart with pity. A gasp from everypony around me signaled it had the same effect for them and Sweetie Belle pressed her head into me even further. Fluttershy collapsed in the dirt and covered her ears with her hooves.

When the scream stopped and Spike collapsed in a heap against the bars, Ashley released his tail. She sat back panting, her hands bracing her from behind as her face dawned a proud look of amazement.

"Woah... I didn't know it would be that loud! That was intense!" she said in the eerie silence that followed.

"A- Ashley! What did you just do!" Twilight moved to the cage's side and the rest of us followed. "You didn't break his tail did you?!"

The little dragon looked up at her with a wounded expression. "What are you all freaking out about?! No! I just... I just did what you wanted... sheesh! I don't get you ponies at all." she said, getting up and rubbing the dirt from her back side and tail before coming out to stand with us.

"W-what we wanted...?" Twilight's face worked through the question. "Did... is that how you cure Feracity?" she said in a small voice.

Ashley stared at her blankly in the late afternoon sunlight. A pregnant pause filled the air. "Yeeaaah..." she said cautiously.

"H-how?" Twilight's purple head shook with confusion.

"I popped his tail bone... like you're supposed to." she said in a confused voice.

Rarity grabbed the girl and spun her. "Popped his tailbone? What does that have to do with it! And why did my little Spike scream like that?!"

Ashley took a step back and surveyed all of us with a mild look of disdain. "Don't tell me you ponies didn't..." she started and then stopped herself, slapping her forehead with an audible smack, "Of course you didn't..." she muttered, "Why should I be surprised..."

"Ashley, we were told you had to mate with Spike." I said, "That mating with another dragon was the only way to cure it."

"What! No! That's just what male dragons say to... to get a girl to do gross things with them!" she recoiled. "That's a..." she stopped and looked at us all. Her face dropped with a her mouth agape. "That's why you ponies haven't helped him? You thought a dragon had to have sex with him!?"

We all nodded, sheepishly, I might add.

"And... and you brought me here thinking I was going to do it with him!?" her voice climbed up a notch.

Another nod, this time most of us not being able to meet her shocked, ruby colored eyes. Ashley looked like she was going to vomit for real this time.

"I'm confused..." Twilight's ears were folded tightly against her head with shame, "What causes Feracity then if mating isn't the cure?"

"D-do I really hafta explain it?" she whined.

"YES!" all of us, Scootaloo and Sweetie included, said at once.

Ashley closed her eyes and gave a reluctant groan. When she opened them, she looked down and began to speak.

"Male dragons, when they get old enough and... and get... excited for the first time, all that new swelling pushes back against their tailbone inside their belly. I'm not sure exactly what happens but... it moves stuff around. My tutor said something about pinching nerves and things getting crooked that I didn't pay attention to." she looked up at Twilight, "But every male dragon gets it around my age, and yeah... you have to pull their tail back to make room for the bigger stuff inside otherwise it makes 'em all gross and crazy."

Silence descended on the yard as the ponies and myself looked at Ashley with disbelief. The late afternoon sun cast shadows on us all in the lee of the barn's walls and overhead birds called out to each other.

I sucked in a breath to say something just as familiar popping sound of a large object suddenly occupying space came from next to Fluttershy. It was Discord. And he was doubled over, howling with laughter.

"Hooo hohohoh!" he cried, rolling on the ground and holding his sides. Tears ran from his eyes and snot slid down his muzzle. "I... I... I never would have... hahaha! The look on your faces!"

"Discord!" Fluttershy scolded him. "What have you done this time?"

Discord composed himself quickly, wiping his face and getting the last few laughs out of his system. "Nothing! That's the best part!" he squeaked and smiled, "Well, maybe I did cast a little spell on Doctor Goodhoof to make him think he was in Dodge City long ago and knew about dragons... but no matter!" he dismissed with a wave.

Twilight seethed with anger, her teeth bared in a grimace and she spat her words through them. "You LIED to us! You sent us all the way to Dodge City for nothing!"

Discord's face, already a mask of oddity, looked absolutely terrifying as I watched genuine anger come over him. I'd never seen him like that before, and it made my blood run cold.

"No!" Discord snarled with rage, causing eveypony to stop and go tense. "I. Did. Nothing!" he swooped forward and got right in Twilight's muzzle, bending down with that unworldly, lithe movement.

"You, Princess... Twilight. You did all of this yourself. If you recall, I tried on several occasions to help you and you absolutely refused to listen to me. You were so confidant in your knowledge, or lack thereof, that you simply couldn't accept that I might know a teensy bit more about something than you. Of course I know how to cure Feracity, bookworm! I do have a dragon's tail you know!" he brought it around and waggled the end of it in front of Twilight's muzzle with an angry flourish.

"So I decided to teach you a lesson, Twilight. I can assure you that while it may have been a little unpleasant for Spike, it wasn't much worse than any normal growth spurt a male goes through and the obsessions that come with it. Oh... and that chicken? That was a simple prop on my part just for you. You didn't think Spike actually did that to the poor creature, did you? Ah... but you did." he smiled evilly.

Twilight's whole body slumped. Her ears, mane, tail, her eyes... they all deflated with a sad look. "Y- you mean you knew this whole time about his tail?" she said in a small voice.

"Yes. But just like always, you couldn't stand the idea that somepony else might know more than you about something when it isn't your precious Celestia." Discord surprised me by doing my human air quotes around the word precious while rolling his eyes. He turned and gave me a wink, suddenly his playful self again before turning back on Twilight.

Twilight's eyes filled with tears, clearly hurt by Discord's rant. Applejack and Rainbow Dash flared at the sight of their friend's emotion and stepped between the two.

"Dammit, Discord! Ya went to far with this! Now apologize ta Twilight!" Applejack growled, lowering her head menacingly. Rainbow Dash hovered above her looking on with mute anger.

"Apologize?!" Discord put a furry paw on his chest in shock, "Why, I'll do nothing of the sort! None of this would have happened if she would have just listened to me any number of the times I'd come offering her my knowledge unsolicited and with the best intentions! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to have somepony who says they're your friend tell you your help isn't welcome and continue to ignore the obvious even when somepony they care about is in need?"

"Discord...." Fluttershy said, touching his arm with a hoof, "I understand you're hurt by Twilight ignoring you but it really isn't nice to rub it in her nose like that. Please..."

"No!" Discord pouted. Honestly and sincerely he pouted with no trace of the mischievous games. "I'm tired of you ponies always accusing me of having something up my sleeve! I don't even have sleeves! Look!" he cried and pulled up the fur somehow on his brown arm, exposing pink skin underneath before pulling it all back neatly. "When will you ever stop to think about how it makes me feel?!"

"Discord is right." Twilight said quietly, "He did try to tell me several times but I didn't listen. And all of this could have been over and avoided if I wasn't so full of myself."

We all watched as she took a step towards the chaos creature and looked up at him. "I didn't want to believe that you knew more about Spike than I did because he's supposed to be my responsibility. If I couldn't figure out how to deal with him... then I felt like I wasn't worthy of taking care of him anymore. I do owe you an apology, Discord. I- I can see why you were angry."

Discord's face softened, as much as it could, and he bent close to Twilight, bringing his mis-matched arms around her neck in a hug. "Twilight... you all have taught me that helping each other is part of what being friends is about. I only wanted to help you in return. I... I'm sorry as well, Twilight Sparkle. I suppose this whole game has been a bit over the top." he couldn't stop a grin from spreading on his face, "But it was fun..."

We watched as Discord and Twilight shared a heartfelt hug for a moment before he stood again, brushing the bottom lid of one of his yellow eyes quickly. "I must say I am intrigued you managed to drag another dragon to Ponyville." he said, turning to Ashley. "Hello there and let me welcome you properly!"

With a snap of his fingers, both of his mismatched horns changed into paper tubes that shot confetti into the air, floating down on us in a colorful kaleidoscope of paper flecks. Ashley was unimpressed.

"What. The Buck. Are you?" she said flatly.