Dejection - Prologue

Twilight Sparkle. I heard her hooves banging on my door. Her voice, so raspy and solemn. Screaming, pleading, yelling. Right behind me. Begging for me to unlock it. Let her in.

She will have to break it down to get any further.

And I fear she will.

Does she not remember she wields magic? A unicorn can’t simply forget her horn just like that. With her alicorn powers too, she must have the strength to kick down a door easily…

Or maybe she…

The mere thought makes the floor whirl and I have to sit down.

. ..she truly feels guilt for her actions? That’s the reason that she has forgotten how to teleport? How to buck? Why she won’t do any of those things? But after a few seconds I shake my head and laugh. No. It must be an act of hers. Well thought out, but it’s not going to work on me. Not anymore.

With that I let out a long, heavy sigh, my back pressed against the seemly cold but still comforting wall.

What does she think she’s doing? One minute she wanted me gone; the next minute she wants me back? Steal my love then ask for forgiveness? Isn’t she supposed to be the ‘Princess of Friendship’? Hypocrisy should be in her title.

It doesn’t work like that, Twilight.

Naive, backstabbing Twilight...

I let my eyes close as I try to drown out the thumping sounds. But of course, peace cannot come to me today as my mind trails off to other thoughts.

Rares. Brown coat. Yellow eyes. Memories of a pony and draconequus sitting under the starlight. I would do so much for him...  But what does he do? He rejects me. We kiss and he treats it as if it were platonic.

Since when did kisses as passionate as that become platonic? Meaningless? Thrown away as if it was a simple touch.

My hooves are shaking as I crack open one eye. I notice the fidgeting and the sweat Why hadn’t I felt that? Where has my sanity gone? Why am I like this? Questions, questions, questions.

The scenes. Why are they so perfectly remembered in my head? Twilight stealing my gift, claiming it to be hers.Twilight telling me that henever loved me, when I know there were sparks of something before. Twilight kissing him right in front of me, not caring as to what it would do. Why could I remember it all as if it were a mere few minutes ago?

Kissing. Discord and Twilight. Twilight and Discord. Their kiss had meant something. So what happened to mine? Rarity and Discord is how it should be. I simply know that to be true.

I wish I could scream. Scream as loud as my vocal cords could handle until Celestia and Luna were dead. Too much pain, too much sorrow. Rejection. Objections. All these things are useless in the long run when you’re supposed ‘best friend’ dangles the love of your life in front of you like a toy. And no matter how much you try to get it back, it’ll never be yours again. You know that too.

But I still hear the banging on the door from outside, followed by two puny words. Two words that wouldn’t matter in any other case. Words twisted with sweet concern when, in reality, they were sour.

           “I’m… sorry.”

That is it. I’m screaming on the inside. My eyelid twitches and my tail flicks. I cannot take this anymore. Lies, lies, lies, lies. I just want this to stop. My eyes are blurring of from the onslaught of tears making their way out. Scanning the room, I spot a side table with a piece of paper and a pencil on it.

...I have an idea...

With my brain pounding and my tears pouring I groggily clambered up to all fours and trotted over to the table.

“Rarity,” Twilight called again, “I know you’re in there. You…” she paused, but I continued my trek. “... you don’t have to accept my apology. But at least... let me tell you face to face. I-It’s all I’m asking...” I hear her sob. It sounded muffled as if her face was buried in her hooves,but it was definitely a sob. A fraction of me wants to open the door from sheer sympathy, but the rest of me still despises what she did. What she's doing.

No forgiveness for the wicked.

I ignored her as I picked up the pencil with my magic and began to write furiously. No sitting, no thinking, no anything. Just writing whatever thoughts popped into my brain as I became lost in the moment.

I did not care about making my handwriting as elegant as I usually do; I did not care about being polite; I did not care that I was close to breaking the table itself as it shook under the pressure of my green aura. She, the pony that hurt me throughout the years, should be thankful that I am writing this because I did not care if they found this note. Once I finished shaping the ink to loathe I tossed it to the side.

 Gathering a rolled bundle of fabric with quick flares of spells, I then chopped away carelessly at it with a pair of scissors from the ground.

It wasn’t meant to be beautiful. It wasn’t meant to be anything but a hashed piece of fabric born from my vexation and whole-hearted rage. By the time when beads of sweat mixed with my tears and fell to the ground, I let out a wail and slumped to the ground, fabric coming with me. I was sobbing, weeping, letting my dejection go. I was broken down to nothing and wasn’t afraid to show it.

When I am able to reopen my eyes-barely noticing they were closed before-I saw the rolled up fabric on the floor. Seeing as I have nothing to lose, I levitate it up into the air, unrolling it to reveal five letters arranged to make the one word looming in the back of my mind for some time now.

Death.

I had cut out the word death. Big, bright, lustrous letters in gold,speaking that which I cannot utter. Needed. Craved.

Silence.

I noticed this just as quickly as it had come. No more banging; no mare yelling.

“...Rarity, I’m coming in.”

No. This was the one thing she couldn’t ruin. My body shook as I pushed myself up. I yelled back,”H-Hold on! I… I need to get ready.”

Another silence.

“O…” I heard her clear her throat. “Okay. But if you don’t say anything in the next five minutes, I-I’m coming in!”

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me.

Five minutes… might as well work while I have time.

My movements were clumsy and uncoordinated, but it didn’t matter. My master plan was coming to me as the seconds flew by, and I needed to make it real. Revenge:  A word has never been so bittersweet to me before.

I found rope. Heaven knows why I have it, but I do. Looking over to the shelf, I retrieved it from where it was placed with breakneck spurts of emerald light then dragging a chair over to me, tying it around the leg. I proceeded to grab it by the other end and lead it to the doorknob where I secured it in equally fast flashes of white and green.

“Three minutes, Rarity.”

My heart was pounding like a caged animal. This had to work or it was all over. Retrieving a second piece, I looked up to a small metal hook on the ceiling. It used to hang a small birdhouse for a cockatiel I had long ago, but when it passed away, the old thing completely slipped my mind.

Until now.

Lifting the beige rope up carefully this time, I slowly fastened it around the steel rod, before harshly tugging on it with all my might. And, to my utmost glee, it didn’t budge. Perfect for the job needed to be done.

“One minute, Rarity. I don’t have to do this. Just let me in!” her words were growing more desperate as time passed.

“I… I just need some more time! Please, Twilight!”

Her name was bile on my tongue, and I forced down the urge to gag. To speak so kindly, when in reality her soul was more foul than Sombra’s own, or even the black magic that had made up Nightmare Moon. Friendship. She’d feigned it all these years, if she was to push me in the mud when I needed a helping hoof. Then to take advantage of my hard work was what had really crossed the line. And to drive me to this…

To drive me insane.

Before I knew it, I was standing on the chair, looking at the special kind of noose before me. I was crying. So hard. For all the memories tainted with a false sense of happiness. It slipped over my neck in an almost too perfect way.

“I’m coming in, Rarity!”

“Wait!”

There was a pause before a small click of a lock could be heard.

“C-Come in.”