Apple Shampoo

by Titanium Dragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Rarity, Sex, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1882

Rarity’s friends have noticed that she smells an awful lot like apples lately and want in on it.

Rarity’s friends have noticed that she smells an awful lot like apples lately and want in on it.

Cover art by the inimitable White Diamonds.

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

Published 2015-01-16 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-16 01:20:02 UTC

The Scent of Fresh Apples

“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is—oh, hello, girls. I wasn’t expecting you this afternoon. Did I forget something?” Rarity glanced over towards the calendar hanging on her wall.

“Not at all, Rarity. Do you have a minute?” Twilight asked, tilting her head as she peered into the shop from the open doorway. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie crowded in behind her.

“But of course! Come in, come in!” Rarity’s horn glowed as she took her needle and stuck it into her pincushion before stepping out from behind her workbench. “What can I do for you girls? Did you need new outfits for something? Oh! Did Princess Celestia finally convince you to throw a ball?”

“What? No,” Twilight said, shaking her head as the group wandered inside, Rainbow Dash hovering overhead while Pinkie Pie went over to make faces into one of the mirrors set against the wall. “We came to, uh, talk to you about something.” Twilight rubbed her hoof against her foreleg.

“Oh? Whatever is the matter?”

“Well, we’ve noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time at Sweet Apple Acres,” Fluttershy said, staring at the floor.

“And that you’ve been looking extra happy lately! Like, super extra happy!” Pinkie Pie said, beaming as she bounced over to rejoin the rest of her friends in the center of the room.

“And that you smell like apples.” Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves across her chest. “Like, really smell like apples. Like, I spend-all-day-sleeping-in-Applejack’s-trees-and-don’t-smell-that-much-like-apples like apples.”

Rarity fanned herself with her hoof. “Oh really?”

“Yes, really!” Rainbow Dash flew down, her snout a few inches away from Rarity’s. “And—uh, wow.” Rainbow Dash backwinged, waving her hoof in front of her snout. “Bit much?”

“What we’re trying to say is, we all know what is going on,” Twilight cut in, stepping in front of Rainbow Dash.

Rarity paled. “You do? I-I mean, I thought we were being subtle…”

“Oh Rarity, it’s alright, we all understand.” Twilight said, smiling gently as she set her hoof on Rarity’s shoulder.

“I don’t!” Rainbow Dash’s hooves cut through the air. “How could you keep it a secret? Don’t you trust us?”

Rarity winced. “Well, darling, you see, it is a sensitive matter… my career—”

Fluttershy lifted her head, smiling. “Oh, Rarity, do you really think that they would hold something like this against you?”

“Well, I—”

“I’d think they’d appreciate it,” Twilight said, smiling.

Rarity blinked. “What?”

“Yeah! Who else would buy super-expensive designer shampoo?” Pinkie Pie shouted.

Rarity stumbled backwards against her vanity, landing on her rump. “Shampoo?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash landed in front of Rarity, her wings flared. “I mean, you made some new kind of soap and you didn’t even tell us? I mean, you can only use raincloud-scented body wash for so long before you can’t ever get the smell out of your nose! Why did you think I spent all that time sleeping in Applejack’s orchard?”

“Well, I—”

“And me? What about me? Babbling-Brand Berry Body Bubble Bath Base every day! Do you know how many times the Cakes thought I was baking berry Berliners in the morning?” Pinkie Pie leaped forward, grabbing Rarity by the shoulders and shaking her. “Do you!?”

“Pinkie!” Twilight stepped forward, pushing the heaving pink pony away from her friend. “What she means to say is, I think we’re all a little bit sick of the stuff they sell down at Barnyard Bargains and we’d like to try something a little bit different.”

“If, uhm, you don’t mind, that is,” Fluttershy said, dragging her hoof across the carpet.

“I see.” Rarity shook her head, composing herself. “Well, I’m sorry to say I don’t have any left. Yes, I used the last of it just this morning.”

“I can tell,” Rainbow Dash said, sticking out her tongue. “I can smell you from all the way over here.”

“Oh, really?” Rarity’s cheeks flushed. “My, well, it is not supposed to be that strong. Oh, well, guess I’ll just have to start all over again.”

“Wait,” Twilight said, raising her hoof, “how can you be out? I saw you go over to Sweet Apple Acres just last night.”

“Er, you see… well…” Rarity fidgeted, smiling a bit too broadly, “It just wasn’t coming out right! So we started a new batch. As you said, it is much too strong. If you can still smell it all the way over there, why, we’ll just have to throw out this batch and start a new one, too.”

“I’ll say!” Pinkie Pie said, springing forward. “You really smell like apples today.” She leaned forward, sniffing. “Especially your tail!”

Rarity coughed, tucking her tail in close against her rump. “You see? We will just have to start all over.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, Rarity, you don’t have to do that.”

“I dunno, I’m pretty sick of raincloud scent. I’d try just about anything.”

Pinkie Pie perked up. “Oooh, you can borrow my—“

“Anything except that,” Rainbow Dash amended quickly. “Seriously, my whole house turned pink after the last time I tried that. I didn’t even know bubble bath could mix with clouds.”

“Well…” Rarity said, turning her head slowly as her friends all smiled at her expectantly. “I suppose. I'll see what I can do.”

“Yes! No more raincloud!”

Twilight beamed. “Thank you Rarity!”

“Are you sure? You do realize this is experimental shampoo, don’t you?” Rarity said, grimacing slightly.

“Oh Rarity. It’s not like you’re putting bleach in it or something.” Twilight waved her hoof. “I’m sure it will be fine. Besides, we’d be happy to be your guinea pigs.”

“As long as it doesn’t make our manes fall out or something,” Rainbow Dash added, narrowing her eyes.

Rarity tittered nervously. “Of course not.”

“Applejack! We have a problem!”

“I’m down in the cellar,” Applejack called, her voice muffled by tons of dirt and wood.

Rarity’s horn lit up, casting open the wooden doors before stepping down onto the stairwell, slowly walking down beneath the barn on Sweet Apple Acres. “I thought we finished up down here last night,” Rarity said, slowly making her way down the stone steps.

“Nah. I just said so on account of you looking tired and all.”

“Applejack!” Rarity pouted, but the effect was wasted on the dark stairwell. “I will not have you working yourself to the bone while I’m around! I said I would help.”

“Well, Rarity, I’m just ‘bout done with it now.”

The sound of wood scraping on stone made Rarity’s ears swivel as she stepped down into the dimly-lit room, the scattered lights’ soft glow glinting off of dozens of barrels set back against the walls of the earthen room.

“Where are you?”

“Right here, sugar cube,” Applejack said, trotting out from between a row of barrels set up against the far wall. “Hooey, I never woulda been able to do this in two days without you.”

Rarity smiled in spite of herself as Applejack took off her Stetson and wiped her brow with her hoof. “Well, I’m glad I could help.” Rarity’s smile faded. “But we have a problem.”

“Really?” Applejack set her hat back on her head and walked over. “What is it?”

“Twilight saw me coming here last night, and she and the girls came to see me today.”

“Oh.” Applejack stopped in her tracks, tilting her head slightly. “Is that a bad thing?”

Rarity sat back, casting her hoof over her face. “It was simply the worst possible thing!”

Applejack arched her eyebrow. “Is that the ‘I got a spot on my dress’ kinda worst or the ‘Twilight went crazy and brainwashed half of Ponyville’ kinda worst?”

“They thought we were making shampoo!”

Applejack stared for a moment before collapsing to the floor laughing, clutching at her chest as she rolled around on her back, hooves kicking up into the air.

Rarity stamped her hoof. “I’m serious!”

“I know, darlin’. It’s just—” Applejack cackled, shaking her head and waving her hoof at Rarity as she rolled back over, getting her hooves back under her. “That’s just the funniest durned thing I ever heard. Shampoo!” She laughed again, her whole body shaking.

“They wanted me to make some! For them!”

Applejack smirked broadly. “You tell them you ain’t plannin’ on sharin’? Cause I sure ain’t.”

“Be serious! This is a big problem!”

“I am bein’ serious.” Applejack stepped up next to Rarity, giving her a light shove with her shoulder. “You know they’re gonna figure out ‘bout what we’ve been doin’ sooner or later. Way I figure it, better sooner.”

“But my career!” Rarity wailed.

“Now Rarity, I know them highfalutin city ponies got their noses stuck in the wrong end of ‘em, but that don’t mean anypony really cares.” Applejack cast her hoof over Rarity’s shoulders. “Why, I heard that Hoity Toity fella got married in Las Pegasus just last week.”

“To a mare, Applejack.”

“Really? Huh. Coulda fooled me.” Applejack rubbed her chin. “Now, is that a mare-mare, or a—”

“Applejack!”

Applejack winced. “Sorry, sorry. I was just foolin’.” She gave Rarity a squeeze around the shoulders. “Still, I don’t think it’s gonna work. Our friends got their hearts in the right places, and you know they’re good at keepin’ secrets, but sooner or later Pinkie Pie’s gonna catch wind of our anniversary or somethin’ and then it’ll be all over.”

“I know,” Rarity said, staring down at the floor.

“Don’t worry. You know they won’t think less of us.” Applejack nuzzled up against Rarity’s neck. “Besides, worst comes to worst, you can always come here and make cider with us. I know how much ya like squeezin’ Apples.”

Rarity huffled, tipping her head up primly. “You’re simply the worst, you know that?”

“I reckon I do.” Applejack pressed herself in against Rarity’s side, her tail flicking against the unicorn’s as she began to rub her snout against her marefriend’s jaw.

“Applejack! You’re dirty!” Rarity stepped aside only to be swiftly followed by the earth pony. “You’re going to make me smell like apples all over again!”

Applejack chuckled. “Heh, is that what gave you away?” she asked as she leaned forward to nibble at Rarity’s ear, raising up on her hind legs to wrap her front hooves around Rarity’s shoulders. “Besides, I thought you liked how I smelled.”

“I do,” Rarity said, face flushed, her knees bowing slightly as Applejack leaned against her. “But what will I tell the others when they come to see if we made more soap? You could at least take a bath first.”

Applejack laughed as she rubbed her chin against the back of Rarity’s neck. “Way I reckon, you’re gonna smell like apples either way.”

Rarity shivered. “And why’s that?”

Applejack leaned forward, her breath tickling at Rarity’s ear. “You know what they say, darlin’. You are what you eat.”

Author's Note

Thanks to SoundsLikePonies for their help editing this story and making Pinkie Pie take a whiff of a certain pony's tail, and White Diamonds for drawing the art which inspired it all.

And to Hasbro, for actually making Rarity's body wash be apple scented, and selling this to children.

There is now a dramatic reading of this story by ObabScribbler, which can be found on YouTube.