Rainbow Dash Calls a Plumber

by hell00001

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Comedy, Random, Sex
Length: 3613

Rainbow Dash calls a plumber. Innuendos and all.

Rainbow Dash calls a plumber... Complete with terrible innuendos and stupid references. Enjoy!

...I'm really sorry that this is the first thing I post after almost a year of not posting anything decent. I swear, I'm trying to write again!

Published 2015-01-16 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-16 04:40:02 UTC

Another Phone Call that Changed Everything

Warning, Additional Tags: [Anal] [Bulge] [Porno Script Mockery]

A brilliant streak of rainbow raced across the mid-summer sky over Ponyville, zipping its way around white cloud after white cloud like a bullet guiding its way through a blinding maze. Tufts of cloud scraped off from the rushes of wind that followed in the rainbow’s wake, drifting casually along through the warm air until it completely dissipated into the air itself. Meanwhile, other clouds completely spun and twisted, setting off in new courses until the gentle breeze itself finally regained control once again.

The rainbow banked upwards into a half loop-the-loop, speeding off in the same direction that it came. Several ponies on the ground looked up and stared in wonder at the spectacle, a few letting out enthusiastic whoops and hollers as the rainbow flew overhead. Their eyes tracked the speedy display of colors as it soon left the edges of Ponyville’s town borders and headed towards a large house made in the clouds.

The house itself was three stories tall and perfectly resembled the architecture that made up much of Cloudsdale. Straight, plaster-like walls made of clouds pushed the house high into the sky, and an ornate dome topped the house off as a roof. Arched windows and pillars also made of clouds decorated the house in what appeared to be seemingly random areas, but what topped the house off was the rainbow waterfall that sprayed and splashed from the top of the dome, landing in a small pool on the side of the house before trickling off towards the ground below.

The rainbow came to an abrupt halt at the very edge of the house, kicking up a torrent of clouds that engulfed itself. When the clouds cleared, none other than Rainbow Dash stood proud and confident looking back at the town of Ponyville. No doubt she heard the cheers emanating from the town only seconds earlier as she flew over, giving them yet again another fantabulous show.

Rainbow Dash rolled herself off of the couch and looked behind her, and sure enough her fur appeared glossy from her own sweat. Even her tail and mane looked more messy than they usually did, strands of hair sticking out in every direction as if she had been playing with a blow dryer for a few hours. She grimaced.

With a flap of her wings, Dash took off up the stairs towards the second floor of her house and turned down one of the halls. At the very end she opened a door that led into an expansive bedroom with a large, circular bed pushed up against one wall next to a bed-side table, a multi-hued rug spread across the floor, and loads of pictures lining the walls of either to Wonderbolts or her friends. The arched windows inside of Dash’s room allowed her to look outside and have a full-scale view of Ponyville and the mountain which housed Canterlot just beyond.

Rainbow Dash skipped across her room towards a small door off in the corner, to which she opened into a large bathroom. A spacious counter that was complemented with a massive mirror was off to her right, and straight ahead was a large, full shower with tiles that were decorated with clouds and vague representations of her cutiemark.

Upon seeing the shower, Dash bit her lower lip and grinned a little bit, kicking the door shut behind her. She strutted over to the shower, feeling a growing heat between her hind legs as she moved closer and closer, and both her ears and cheeks flushed slightly.

“You know, it’s been a while since I was at the local bar, now that I mention it,” Dash said to herself, sitting down on her flanks when she reached the shower. “I haven’t had any stallions to give me a good rutting in a long time. I suppose the shower isn’t the best substitute, but it might tide me over until later tonight.”

Massaging her hoof as she walked out of the bathroom, Dash limped over to her bedside table and picked up the phone that sat on top of it. She also pulled out a phone book located within one of the table’s drawers and flipped it open to the plumbing section. Once she found a plumbing service that she was satisfied with, she dialed the number, and not soon after a stallion picked up the phone on the other end.

“Hello, thanks for calling Anonymous Plumbing, this is Anon speaking, how may I help you?” the stallion asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got a problem with my shower,” Rainbow Dash said, sitting back and huffing. “The thing’s backed up or something and the water pressure is down. Can you get a guy out here to look at that?”

“Of course, ma’am,” the stallion said. “We’ll have a service pony out there right away. Can you give us your address.”

“It’s the really big house made out of clouds in the sky,” Dash replied flatly. “Huge rainbow waterfall, can’t miss it.”

“Thank you, we’ll be right out,” the stallion said.

Dash hung up the phone and flopped onto her bed. Well, at least she’ll get her shower fixed, but this was a terrible kind of inconvenience. She only hoped that the stallion would get here before it was too late. She really intended to go out to the bar tonight and snag a stallion. Or a mare.

~~~

After about an hour, with the sun still high in the air, Rainbow Dash heard a knock on her door. Springing up from her bed, she zipped down the stairs and came to a very abrupt stop before she could barrel right through her own door. Remembering that she still hadn’t showered, she quickly licked her hoof and ran it through her mane, although who knows if it actually made her mane anymore presentable at all. That thing was always messy anyways.

She opened the door and came face to face with an offensively green stallion. His coat was a light shade of green while his mane and tail were an even darker shade of green. He wore blue plumber’s overalls and a blue baseball cap that covered his eyes from view. On his back was a tool box filled with all sorts of tools that you’d probably see a plumber carrying. You know, like a snake and a wrench and stuff.

Dash’s jaw dropped as the stallion tipped his baseball cap.

“Greetings, m’lady,” the stallion said. “The name’s Anon. I heard you have a problem with your shower?”

“I-I-I… uh… yes!” Dash squeaked, her eyes seeming to already be undressing the stallion. “I can show you the way! It’s just right up s-stairs.”

Rainbow Dash giggled and bit her lip, swaying side to side as she continued staring at Anon. He didn’t appear to amused, however, as he craned his neck to look over her shoulder and into the house.

“Are you going to let me in?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah!” Dash said, snapping out of her stupor for a moment. “Right this way, Anon.”

Spinning around on only one hoof, she turned and led Anon into her house and towards the stairs. She looked behind herself back at the stallion and bit her lip a second time, but yet again it didn’t seem as if he had noticed her attempts to flirt with him in the slightest. He merely looked up and around at all of the walls, more absorbed in the cloud house’s architecture rather than the mare who was swinging her hips in front of him.

“You know, I think I’ve got a few extra pipes that I need you to take a look at,” Rainbow Dash said huskily, trying to grab Anon’s attention as they climbed the stairs.

“More pipes?” Anon asked, looking back at her. “I thought I came here to just fix your shower?”

“I found some more problems after I called you! After looking behind myself, I found this leak that can only be fixed with your own personal snake. I didn’t want to call you back, though. I wanted to leave it as a surprise for when you got here~.”

“Why’d you want to leave something like that as a surprise?”

“As a reward for all of your hard work!”

When they reached the stop of the stairs, Anon stopped, staring bewilderedly into Rainbow Dash’s backside. The mare stopped and swung her flanks side to side, bouncing her eyebrows when Anon didn’t turn to look away.

“So let me get this straight…” Anon said, trailing off for a moment.

Dash turned around and stared at Anon with big expected eyes. Did this big, green stallion finally catch on to her flirtatious advances? Has he finally realized how much of a big tip she’s willing to give him for a job well done? Does he now see that the Incredible Rainbow Dash is giving him free reign to rut her like a dog?

“You want to reward me after fixing your shower by cleaning some more pipes?” Anon asked, confused.

Rainbow Dash groaned. “No no! Here, why don’t I just show you? Follow me!”

She turned around once again and skipped off down the hall and towards her bedroom. Anon, who appeared even more confused than before, simply trotted after her. When he found Dash inside of her bedroom, she was laying on her side, hind legs sprawled out with her head resting on one of her forehooves. She blew a kiss Anon’s way and fluttered her eyelashes.

Anon blinked. “So, are you going to show me that shower?”

“Why don’t you come over here and inspect these pipes?” Rainbow Dash asked, bouncing her eyebrows.

Anon looked at the bed, then at the bedside table, then at the wall. He seemed to be looking quite hard because after a few minutes he shrugged.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, miss,” Anon said. “I don’t see any pipes over there.”

In a flash, Rainbow Dash hopped from the bed and zoomed over to Anon, leaving a rush of air in her wake that ruffled both of their mane’s. She then grabbed Anon by the straps of his overalls and pulled him over to the bed, twisting him around and pushing him onto his back. Before the stallion had a chance to push himself back up and onto his flanks, Dash slipped herself on top of him, plopping her flanks right on his crotch while she pinned his forelegs down with his hooves.

“Am I going to have to spell it out for you, buddy?” Dash asked, cocking her head. “I want you and your big, meaty cock to fuck me!”

Anon stared up at Dash with a horrific expression on his face, before his mouth broke into a grin and he giggled a little. That sure confused the little blue pegasus for a moment.

“Why didn’t you say so?” Anon asked, grinning wider. He slipped his forelegs out from underneath Dash’s hooves, off balancing the pegasus for a split second to allow him to slap his hooves against her cheeks and pull her head down to smooch her on the lips. Dash squeaked, not quite expecting such a forward move by the stallion who was otherwise completely oblivious only moments before. She opened her mouth, though, and closed her eyes, letting Anon slip his tongue into her mouth and work its way over her own tongue.

Anon’s cock bulged against Dash’s cock, throbbing as it seemed to scream to be released from his overalls. Dash grinded down against his cock, her increasingly soaking pussy rubbing over his overalls and slowly causing a small spot to form just right over his member. Anon moaned a little into her mouth, enjoying Dash’s hips as she rolled them and her pussy even more over his dick.

Dash pulled her lips away from Anon, instead kissing him on his cheek and then lower on his chin. She slowly slid her body further and further backwards, dragging her lips over his fur and his skin, and her forehooves slide down over his chest and onto the buttons on his overalls. It took a little bit of effort to unfasten those buttons, hooves really aren’t very dexterous after all, but when both buttons were feel she kissed him lower and lower.

Over his chest and over his belly she dragged her lips, all the while sliding his overalls off of his body. Then came the moment that she had been waiting for. With her lips kissing his belly, she finally slid his overalls off and over his cock, and with his member finally free from its prison, it flipped up and slapped the underside of Dash’s chin.

Dash sat up and looked down at his cock with wide eyes, examining it and taking note that if pony’s had belly buttons, the full head of his member would be well over it. She reached out a hoof and poked it, watching it as it twitched from her touch.

“What?” Anon asked, looking down at his cock. “It’s like you’ve never seen a dick before.”

“It’s… huge!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grabbing it with both of her forehooves to hold it straight up. She then plopped herself down so that she could measure his length with her face and found that if she kept her ears fully erect, his cock would only be a tad shorter. “I don’t even know how this’ll fit inside of me. Are you fucking serious?”

“Why don’t you try practicing on my ballcock with your mouth there?” Anon asked. “I mean, if it fits in your mouth, then it’s gotta fit in your cunt, right?”

Rainbow Dash stared hard at his cock for a moment, licking her lips. This sure was a monstrosity if she’s ever seen one, enough to probably make her scream if she put it anywhere other than her mouth. She kissed the base of his cock once, giggling when the thing twitched against her lips, then kissed up and up and upwards all of the way to his cocks head. She then stuffed the tip of his cock into her mouth and suckled it, looking up at Anon and fluttering her eyelashes.

“Ah fuck yeah, that’s the spirit, Dash,” Anon said, sitting up and propping himself up on his forehooves.

Taking a deep break, Dash pushed Anon’s cock into her mouth, squealing a little when she realized how much she really had to extend her jaw to fit his girth inside of her. As such, she didn’t manage to fit much in her mouth, but she made up for it by stroke the rest of his member with her fluffy forehooves.

Shaking her head side to side, Dash pulled Anon’s cock back out of her mouth and kissed it really quick, smiling up at him, before shoving it right back into her mouth. She bobbed her head up and down, moving her hooves in sync with her head over his member in hopes that she’ll replicate the motions of her mouth a little more although she could only fit a small bit of him into her mouth.

Lucky for Dash, her ministrations seemed to be working, as Anon threw his head back and moaned. The way Dash sucked his cock appeared to be hitting the right spot with the way that his hind legs or his hips would twitch every once in a while. Whether it be from when her lips would brush over the head of his cock or when she hit a sweet spot on his shaft with her tongue or her hooves would probably never be known, but hey! At least it worked.

Finally, after what was probably Anon’s seventh or eighth moan, Dash took his cock out of her mouth and stroked it with her forehooves. The thing was a sloppy mess by now, her saliva coating his member and sliding down over her hooves and onto his balls. Dash looked up at Anon with the best bedroom eyes that she offer, nuzzling the head off his dick as she did so.

“Oh, I think this cock is going to be just way too big and awesome to fit in my little pussy, don’t you think, Anon?” Dash asked, kissing his member.

Anon nodded his head, to which Rainbow dash giggled and crawled back on top of him. She sat herself down between her legs, and Anon’s cock squeezed itself between her flanks and the very tip rested against the small of her back. Dash had to admit that she was a bit worried with the sheer size of this stallion’s cock, but she was always up to a challenge, right?

“I think you’ll have much better luck shoving it up my ass,” Dash added, criss crossing her forehooves and placing them on his chest. “C’mon, get ready big boy, I’m going to ride you like no mare’s ridden you before!”

“I’ll only use rigid pipe in your rim holes,” Anon said with a grin.

Dash looked behind herself and down at the throbbing cock resting between her flanks. Sticking her tongue out in concentration, she lifted her flanks into the air and took hold of Anon’s cock, then plunged it deep into her asshole. Not much to her surprise, there was still a good fifth of his cock that hadn’t made itself inside of her, and for now that’s how it was going to have to be.

Dash herself moaned and squealed, feeling the monster of a cock stretching her ass apart, only aided with her own saliva so that it would feel as if she shoved a rake up there or something. With it firmly and comfortably resting inside of her now, Dash moved her flanks up and down, feeling his cock sliding up and down inside of her ass at a relatively peaceful and easy pace.

“Oh f-fuck…” Dash whimpered. “Anon, your cock… My ass… It’s so big!”

Anon reached forward and grabbed Dash my the flanks, squeezing them tightly and eliciting quite the surprised squeal out of the pegasus on top of him. Then, with a grunt, he shoved his cock up her ass, then again, and then again. Each time his shaft made its way deep into Rainbow Dash’s ass, she made another squeal or moan or whimper, each one different from the last but no less quiet or stressed.

The speed at which Anon’s cock fucked Rainbow Dash stupid was uncanny. Already she was grab and scratching at Anon’s chest with her hooves, squealing and moaning in delight with each of Anon’s pumps. His cock just burrowed deeper and deeper into her, and she loved it more and more each time. It wasn’t long before his cock was hilting inside of her with each thrust, and the head of it started to poke the inside of Dash’s belly.

Before long, Dash let out a wail louder than any of her other wails before, and her thighs and flanks shook violently. A little dribble of mare juices leaked out of her pussy and onto Anon’s own belly, indicating that Dash had already reached her first orgasm. Mare didn’t have much of a libido now, did she?

With a grunt and a bit of strain, Anon gripped hard onto Dash’s flanks and flipped them over. Now with Dash underneath him on her back, wings spread out on either side of her, he was really in control. He looked down at her glossy eyes and her open mouth, continuing to shove his cock into her ass and causing her to moan and wail each time he did so.

The whole bed shook as Anon thrust his cock deep in her ass, squeaking and groaning under the force behind his hips. Dash’s ass sure was taking a beating, and so was her belly as Anon’s cock was still making its way and bulging out each time he had himself hilted inside of her. Dash didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, though, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she threw her head back.

“Are you prepared to get wet?” Anon asked with a grunt. “Because these pipes are about to burst.”

Finally it was Anon’s turn to cum, and he did so with what seemed like explosive force. He shoved his cock once more into Dash’s ass and unloaded his jizz into her, her belly twitching in time with his cock’s twitches. Finally, after the last drop of spunk dribbled out of Anon’s cock, he pulled his dick back and let his stallion juices slowly leak out of Dash’s ass and onto the bed.

Dash herself was a complete and utter mess, and who knows if she was even coherent. She lay there in her bed, covered in sweat with Anon’s jizz leaking out of her asshole. Her wings and her hooves twitched occasionally, and she let out a squeak and a whimper as if she could feel his cock still gently ramming itself inside of her. Well, she’s not getting up anytime soon.

“All in a day’s work,” Anon said, tipping his hat to Dash again and putting on his overalls. She only squeaked in reply. “It’s always nice to give a lady what she wants. I’ll even clean the rest of your pipes for free.”

And so Anon left Rainbow Dash to her own lust-infested mind, sitting there twitching and squeaking until she felt the warm embrace of sleep approaching. She smiled happily, and the last thing she’d hear before drifting away was, “I can’t believe I just came in Rainbow Dash.”