Spike ( Attempts to) Throw a Bachelor's Party, and Ends Up Becoming a Drug Dealer

by Namechanger

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Spike, Comedy
Length: 5905

All Spike wanted to give Shining Armor was the best party ever, but at what costs? Literally.

*was featured in the Top 10 Box*

Spike is put in charge of hosting the royal bachelor's party before Shining Armor 's wedding, but is side tracked by some unexpected acquaintances and the unlikeliest of allies in this farce of Spike's innocence being brutally assaulted for comedic enjoyment.

Praise:
"God, I want more!" - lionblaze103

"Can't wait to see where this is going." -godf0006

"Awesome!" - Argo Valter

Published 2012-05-20 16:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-11 12:20:00 UTC

The Run Down

How to begin?

Spike was huffing on the picnic blanket around the six ponies reading about the wedding, the Royal Wedding.  Spike was so out of breath, his hot air was almost burning the blanket from the fiery breaths he was sucking in and out.  He was just able to listen to their conversation through his ringing ears and pounding head.

“Who’s getting married,” one of them asked, but Spike was not able to make out who said so, and he sat down for a moment, keeping at an angle with his two stubby arms.

He looked at Twilight, and we wheezed out, “Oh, sorry, I should have given you this note first.”

Spike started to hyperventilate and Pinkie Pie poured a glass of water on him to cool him down.  The cold water was refreshing against his scales, and his arms gave away, letting himself fall down on the blanket, but underneath the blanket was a medium sized rock, which he managed to nail into the back of his head, causing a shock of pain to ride through his body, and he yelped.

“Spike, stop fooling around, this is serious... Now, it’s says who’s getting married right her-”

“What?” One of them asked.  Spike’s head now hurt and he was going deaf from his pounding.  He ran well over a mile in a half from Twilight’s home to deliver the messages.  Twilight’s face wasn’t in horror, but more in shock, and Spike would have laughed at it if he had his breath or if it wasn’t as serious as it really was.

“My brother!?” Twilight exclaimed.

Spike just sat out for a bit as Twilight tried to get her senses together, and started to read the rest of the note, describing what each pony was supposed to do.  As the list followed, Pinkie Pie would plan the reception, much to her liking, Applejack would bake to food, Rainbow Dash would perform a Sonic Rainboom as the groom and bride exchange vows, Rarity would make the Princess’s dress, and Fluttershy would sing with her bird ensemble as the bride and groom walk down the aisle.

“That’s all it says,” Twilight concluded, but Spike was at a loss.  Why wasn’t he set onto anything?  He was just as important as Twilight was... well, maybe not just as important, he thought, but he was like her right hand dragon, and deserved the tolerance of one!

“What about me, Twilight?” he asked, and Twilight searched before flipping the page over.  It seemed the Princess had written a little note on the back stating; PS, Spike may host the Bachelor Party if he would like to, knowing him, he would probably want to do something in Canterlot than follow you ponies around.  If not, we just won’t have one.

“Well, Spike, you may host the Bachelor Party, if you would like too.”

Spike’s heart raced against his chest, him being part of the... the... ROYAL CANTERLOT WEDDING was just unbearable, even if he wanted to do it so bad, he was very frightened.  Now that he could hear again, he heard Rarity ask when the wedding was.

Twilight told them all it was; “Starting tomorrow at the sun’s descent, but all staff, which means us, must arrive early for preparations.  Our train will arrive in the morning, and our outfits will be in stock at the Canterlot Apparel Store once we arrive.”

Twilight seemed a little sad, and Fluttershy asked; “What’s wrong?”

Twilight explained how her brother was her BBBFF, or Big Brother Best Friend Forever.  She explained how her brother was her only friend before she came to Ponyville, but Spike had already heard this story a hundred times, living with Twilight his whole life.  He practically forgot Twilight had a brother though, only seeing him a few times before they left for Ponyville.

They packed up the picnic a head back home.  It was getting late because it was in the middle of the summer so the days got shorter in Equestria.

*(^)*

By night time, and while everypony else was asleep, Spike was up in his small bed, thinking about what to do, when to do it, where, and what the hay was a bachelor’s party in the first place?  What is a bachelor? Is it like a gladiator, like in old Equestrian times?  Did they throw parties where ponies would fight each other in an area?  That would be awesome, he thought, but Equestria had moved on from those times a while back.

He got out of his bed and head down to the library, hungry for knowledge of this so called ‘Party for Bachelor’s’.  Maybe a bachelor is like a place, yeah, where a party was held, like what Pinkie Pie does.  He pulled out a few books, and he didn’t know what category to search so he just checked them all, putting each one back after he was done with the other.

Time flew by fast, and before he knew it, Spike had his face down on a book, with his eyes shut, and he was out ‘warm’ as dragons would say, even though dragos probably didn’t say that in the first place.

Spike dreamt of the wedding.  He could see it now, him dressed up in a sweet tuxedo, and a rush of nostalgia hit him, like when Trixie, the boaster, came to town, and Twilight was trying out a spell to turn rocks and stuff into clothing.  His point of view was looking down at the wedding, like he was floating, and he could see himself alongside the rest of his friends.  The whole wedding looked awesome, nothing could go wrong.

*(^)*

Spike woke up in a daze, and the book he was lying on was covered in dragon saliva and had leaked through the pages of what he was reading.  He was awoken by his friend, Twilight, who was combing her mane with a smile on her face.

“SPIKE! Do you know what day it is?!” she excitedly asked.

“Uh, the wedding, duh.”  He rubbed his eyes, yawned, and brushed himself off from the floating library dust that clouded up the room at night.

“That was a rhetorical question, Spike, but hurry, we need to get ready to make it to the train.”

Spike was already ready, as he didn’t wear clothes unless it was a special occasion like this and he just needed to straighten his scales.

“I’ll meet you at the station, Twilight, I’m all set,” he said, and he left.

Time went by as Spike waited impatiently at the train station.  He could hear it just over the horizon and he still didn’t have any idea on what a bachelor was.  He felt so childish of not knowing what it was and he was his own self proclaimed party genius, besides Pinkie Pie that is.  He rubbed his chin and sat down on the wooden bench, waiting for his friends to arrive.  He was going to feel somewhat embarrassed for asking them the question, but if he was going to throw it right, he was going to need the best of the best.

He would need to make good arrangements with a big room for the whole thing, and he guessed that Celestia would let him get everything for free, if it was going to that cause.  So, in Spike’s mind, he had a blank check, a big room, but no plan.

Canterlot was bound to have stores that would suit his needs, or Twilight’s brothers needs, and even though he never really knew him, Spike thought of him as a ‘wild’ kind of guy, but he was very caring.  SO, in his opinion, maybe a super thick, heavy bass party would work, like how his friends threw his last birthday party.

Here comes the train, though he.

His friends made it in time and they departed towards Canterlot, where the wedding was being prepared.

*(^)*

Twilight had already sent a message to Princess Celestia that Spike was going to throw the bachelor’s party, but Celestia didn’t have high hopes for him.  She knew Spike would probably fail at this attempt, but she played along, it didn’t feel right to leave Spike out in the blue.  The train was chugging fast towards Canterlot, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash had their head out the windows.

“A sonic rainboom? At a wedding? Can you say Best Wedding Ever!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as they were approaching a tunnel to get into the high mountains.  Pinkie Pie stuck her head out too.

She exclaimed to answer Dash; “Best Wedding Ever!” and it echoed through the tunnel over the roar of the engine.  Canterlot appeared to be covered in a huge purple ball of magical energy, a shield of some sort, that probably protected the wedding from any hostile invaders, as every other party does in Equestria, party crashers are bound to happen.  Entering Canterlot was always an amazing thing, and everything seemed new every time, mainly because Canterlot as expanding everyday with new buildings.

“You guys get to do all your prissy wedding things, when I,” Spike said, with large emphasis on the ‘I’, “get to hold the bachelor’s party!”

The all looked at him, and Spike said, “I just have one question, though... What’s a bachelor’s party?”

Then they all laughed, explaining to him that a bachelor’s party is a party for the groom to celebrate his wedding.

“Oh, well, that makes much more sense than what I thought it was,” Spike said, feeling even more stupid over his own faults.  The train pulled through the station, and they all disembarked.

“Wait! What time does the bachelor’s party start?!” Spike yelled, but he got no response.  That didn’t stop him though.  Maybe it just happens when the time is right, he thought.

This is where Spike took off from the rest of the group, seeing that they all went to work immediately.  His suit wouldn’t be ready for a while, but he didn’t have any free time.  The Princess would have warned that Spike was on the prowl and ready to buy anything and possibly everything at his will.  That blank check would make him economically invincible.

His first stop would be the catering, but he couldn’t disturb Applejack from her job, so he had to go to a different eatery, like a bakery, and he could buy a cake and all that stuff.

CAKE, the hardest thing to obtain and it would take a very long time to make, so he had to buy an already made one, like how he sees at Ponyville when he is window shopping.  Spike walked into the nearest bakery, after spotting a few cakes he liked.  They looked like they took hours and hours to make, very precise, but there were four different ones in the window.  He burst in the door, thinking he had the highest authority, and walked over to the window from the inside, and he was being towered over by four huge sugar masterpieces.

The cashier looked at him from across the room, a confused look on his face.  He wanted to ask what Spike was doing, after noticing him walk in as if he was invisible.  Spike payed no attention to the cashier while he examined the cakes.

“Uh, sir, can I help you?” the cashier asked.

“Look buddy, I have a blank check, and I need to know which of these cakes is the best.”

Spike thought the only way to tell was to try each one.  Spike, launching back his claws, swiped the bottom layer of the first cake, and shoved it in his mouth.  The cashier gasped in horror, probably because he was the one who made the cakes.  Spike seemed displeased with this one, and tried the other two, taking out the bottom layers for both of them.

The cashier fainted, sprawled across the ground behind the counter.  Everything went black as Spike grabbed the last cake.

*(^)*

The cashier woke up with Spike leaning over him, shaking his now conscious self.

“Hey, buddy, wake up, I made my choice of what cake I want!”

“Cake?  You want cake? NO! GET OUT OF MY STORE!”

“Woah! I have a blank check!”

“I DON’T CARE!” and he was then bitten down on his back scales and thrown out of the store, as the sobs of the cashier rung through the street, his masterpieces destroyed.

“Jeez, what’s his problem?” he grunted as he walked away.  He still needed the cake, or at least part of a cake...

Spike would try another store, hopping to be more successful.  Maybe sometime later in his future, he would find one, so he went to go grab the decorations first.  Even though he wasn’t supposed to, he would try his luck with Pinkie to lend him some decore.  He prowled his way down the street, strut in his stride, making his way to the party room, when he remembered; Where the hay was I supposed to hold the party?

Chemistry

It wasn't a very 'warm' welcome to Marelem, more like a bundle illegal actions and desperation, but that didn't stop Spike, no matter how many shenanigans he would get himself into, he would get what was needed for the party.  The houses looked different, as well as the cobblestone.  Everything was decapitated enough to really be sure this was a very poor region of Canterlot.

"Hopefully, I won't get robbed on my way to the store!" he thought to himself, looking over his shoulder.  He had never been to this part of Canterlot before, so he had to keep his eyes open for a place that looked festive enough to be called a 'party store'.

Spike couldn't help but notice a few screams for help from some other ponies being robbed, and that made Spike only pick up his pace and get out of there.  He searched each corner until he found this one place he was pretty sure Pinkie was talking about.

It literally said 'PARTY STORE' in big letters splattered across the front window.  Spike was totally having other thoughts on just walking in.  This wasn't exactly the safest place, but maybe it would be safer than the streets at least, right?

"Uh, hello?" Spike asked into the empty room of the store.  The shelves were completely empty, only a cash register stood on the counter, and a doorway with a curtain stood behind it.

"Anypony home?  I'm looking for some supplies and some possible cake?"

There was a rustling from the curtain, which caused Spike to investigate the small ruckus. He hopped over the counter to see what was making the noise, biting his bottom lip and he ever so slowly pulled the curtain back.  He looked into the next room with curiosity.

"What is this, some kind of... Chemistry lab?" he asked to himself, but he was the not the only one on the room.

Suddenly, a rush of hooves ran into him and he was pinned up against the wall.  He struggled furiously, but to no avail.

"Hey, let go of me!  I'm only looking for cake!" Spike gnawed at the hooves holding onto him, and he could see that he was being held by two ponies, as another one came in from the shadows and looked at him.

"Oh geez!  This is like one of those scary stories Twilight tells me at night!"

"Calm yourself, my friend," a voice came from one of them. Spike looked at the pony in the center and demanded that he be let go.

"I need some cake and some party favors for a party I'm holding, this is a party store, isn't it?" he asked.

"You say you have cake?  Why didn't you say so!  Boys, let 'me go!" the pony said as the others dropped Spike to the ground, leaving him gasping for air.

"I didn't say I have cake... I said, I needed... cake.". This was not what Spike had in mind.  Maybe he could reason with this pony...

"Then what is this?" the pony held up the bag of 'cake' Spike had been carrying around.

"That's not cake, it's some kind of thing that my friend Pinkie told me to keep a secret from other ponies."

The pony took a small bit of it and tasted it.  His mouth puckered up and his eyes got a little bit watery.

"Woah!  That is some Grade A Cake you have, right there, dragon!  Sprinkles would have happened to send you here, did she?" the pony asked.

"Who the hay is Sprinkles?  And how is that powdery sugar a cake, cakes are round or squarish!'

"Cake is a term we use for this kind of stuff... What's our name anyways, kid?"

"Spike, now can I have that stuff back, it has something to do with parties and responsibility or something like that, I wasn't really paying attention when Pinkie told me."

"Well, we use the code name, if you will, cake, to keep the guards from over hearing us.  We just made a huge batch of this stuff, and since this is Grade A, seriously Grade A cake, I think you are talking serious business with us, how would you like to get in on a little action, eh?" the pony said.

"I'm sorry, but could you just speak English, please?" Spike wiped the drool of his lip.

"We make this stuff," he pointed to his lab, "and we sell if for dough, lots of it!  You want in?"

"Will cake, I mean, the real cake and party favors be involved.  I still need a place to throw it, you know any places?" Spike still needed a joint to hold this entire shindig.

"I don't know, Spike, maybe one of the bars can sell out a couple of the back rooms to you."

Spike remembered that he had a blank check with him, but then he realized he couldn't just walk out of the room after all of that stuff the pony just told him.  Maybe he could stay a little longer, just to see how things could roll along.

"Sure, I'll make cakes with you guys, but no funny business."

"Great, put this mask on and let's get cooking!"

Thirty minutes passed and Spike sat there, handing the ponies gallons of liquids and other stuff he had never heard of.  The scent was so strong that he could smell a little bit of it from his gas mask.  Soon, large batches of the 'cake' started coming out into big boxes and started piling up.

If the small bag Spike bought was seven hundred coins, he could believe all the money they would rake in with these boxes!

The smell was getting very intense though, Spike needed to take a moment outside.

"Hey, I need to get some fresh air!" he yelled through his mask.

"Not without the right close, bro.  Go in the closet over there and put some fashion on before you get robbed out there!  You need to blend in or your done in this town!"

Spike walked over to the closet and grabbed some gold necklaces, put a hat on, and grabbed some glasses.

"How does this look?" Spike asked.

"Like a true Marelemite," the pony returned, lugging another box over.

Spike took of his mask as he exited the store.  What has he gotten himself into?  As fun as it seemed, the wedding would be tonight and he still needed cake, favors and a joint to hold this whole place in.

His number one objective at the moment was cake, so he set his mind to that and only that.  Spike was good at keeping focused on one thing and ignoring the other, like when Twilight would nag at him for not doing his chores while he is trying to read a good book.    The obvious thing he would keep focused on was the book, of course.

These cloths were making Spike feel in comfortable and he wanted to get them off as soon as possible.  He wondered if there was enough batches of cake to start selling them, so he put his mask back on and left the door open a bit.

"Hey, is there enough stuff done?" Spike interrupted   Can we make some dough, I got to go pick up my tuxedo soon."

"Yeah, bro, help us start taping these boxes up and we can load them into the carriage outback, then you can get paid.  It was nice doing business, with you!"

They tapped the boxes down and threw them on the ground.  About twenty boxes were stacked up as they prepared to leave, and they were all giving each other high hooves in their expectations to make some cash.

Suddenly, the store door opened fully as the bell of the door chimed.

...

...

...

"Go check the door," said one of the ponies, pointing at the other pony.  spike didn't even know these colts names, but maybe that was for the better.

One of them inched closer to the curtain.  He peeked out as quickly as he could.

"Spike... You shut the door on your way in all the way, right?"

BAM!

A swarm of Royal guards attacked the room, causing Spike to drop the small bag of cake!

"Oh Celestia, it's the fuzz!"

Spike jumped backwards, sliding across the table, knocking over the entire 'chemistry' lab over and smashing to the ground.  He needed to find a way out of here, fast.  He slammed into the ground with a thud and made a break for the exit, slipping past the three guards holding the other ponies down.

He burst through the front door, out into daylight, then into the street, which was covered with guard carriages.  He was rushed by many other guards and was slapped with a pair of silver hoof cuffs.

After a few minutes of the bust, they were all led into two different carriages.  One with the head pony and Spike, the other with the other two ponies.

...

The carriage rocked back and forth with them both inside, sitting opposite each other.

"So... What now?" Spike asked.

"What now?  Now, we go to jail, bro.  We're done for now, but I think I have some connections, maybe we could arrange a little meet down with him and he could hook us up with a few bails."

"Bails?"

"Yeah, like a, uh... A get out of jail for free card from that board game; MonoPony."

"So, I guess I don get any cake then, huh?"

"In due time, my scaled friend... In due time." he said.

"This is turning into some messed up day.  The wedding doesn't start for hours, and hours, but all I care about is the bachelor's party."

"Oh yeah, you've been talking about this party ever since I met you, who's is it?"

"The Royal Wedding every pony has been talking about. You know, the one with the Princess and the Captain of the Royal Guard," Spike said.

"Oh yeah.  I would be more energetic, but I lost all of my energy fighting of he guard trying to hold me down.  Well then, we need to get you to that wedding ASAP.  Just kick back, relax, and enjoy the ride.  We'll both get out... Some how."

"I hope your right."

Spike slouched back into the seat of the carriage and shut his eyes.

"What's your name, anyways?" he asked.

"My clients call me Chems."

"Well Chems," Spike smiled, "I can almost taste that cake from here."

Kickin' It Old School

A rock in the road kicked the carriage and jolted Spike and Chems awake.  They must have been asleep for ten minutes.  They were getting closer to their destination: Canterlot Royal Detention Center.  Spike stayed rather calm the entire way, just chatting with Chems.

"What do you have planned for the party then, anyways, Spike?"

"Well, hopefully, I can get that cake I have been talking about, then, like I said, I need party favors and a place to hold this down."

"What about... Colt stuff, like exotic dancers and blow, a real bachelor's party.  You could have like a hollow cake and hide in it.  Throw pranks, have lots of wine, all that stuff!"

"But I don't know any of Shining Armor's friends, so how could I invite them?"

"You could have a private party, like heading to a private building, little room, blow, cake, wine.  It could be like a wedding present, one that he would never forget."

"I guess that would work, my blank check should cover that, but I need to get to a bank, otherwise, I'm basically up the creek.". Spike needed some serious dough and going to jail was not going to help.  He was going to need a lot of luck, jail doesn't just pass in a matter of minutes.

The carriage bumped over a few more rocks, then up a hill, a very large one, then under a gate into a large complex of buildings.  The carriage came to a halt at the front of the main building.  They were led out of the carriage.  Ponies and other creatures like gryphons and donkeys lined up against the fences.

"Fresh meat!"

"Let me at him!"

"I call dibs on the dragon!"

Spike turned to face what pony said that, and gave them a death stare.  Even for such a small dragon, he could strike fear into the hearts of many.  He kept walking with his claws cuffed behind his back.

They were all led into a big room with a desk, a pony was writing out forms and stuff of that sort.

Spike was pushed up first, and Chems whispered to him! "Don't tell them your real name!"

He was right.  Spike had never been down here before and nopony was really informed of him ever even existing, so they had literally no information on him.  He was a nomad in a foreign land and that would be taken as an advantage.

"Name?" the pony asked.

Spike thought for a moment, after all, he was going to jail, might as well have fun with it!

"Tom," he said, holding back a smile.

"Felony?"

"Making cake."

"You mean baking?" the pony sarcastically asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the Grammar Police going to come get me?" he nagged, laughing as he tried to raise his arms above his head, but they were locked behind him.

"I don't Iike your attitude, dragon!"

"And I don't like your face!  Now we both have something to hate each other," he said, smiling.

"Take 'Tom' to the hiatus holding cell... And his friends, I know this scumbag, nothing but trouble, how you doing, Chems?  Isn't this your ninth time coming in for a public offense?" the pony behind the desk said, pointing to Chems.

"I just can't see to learn my lesson, Stars," Chems replied.

"That's Royal Guard Star Shine!" he snapped back as they were being led away.

"What ever, Twinkle Hooves!  Don't get your mane in knot!"

They were all lead to the same cell, the entire place was packed.  For a Royal Kingdom the place sure had its dark sides.

Spike sat down on the bench next to Chems until he noticed something.

"Gee, Chems, you don't really look like a Marlemite.  I mean, you're clean, and you talk like you have been... Educated."

"Well, Spike, sometimes, the best dealers have to drop down a level, or a lot, to gain trust.  It's all about friendship, pal."

"Friendship, eh?  I guess I get my daily dose of that every day from Twilight," Spike huffed.  A slight breeze came blowing through the bared windows.

"So I guess we just wait?" Spike asked, directing the question towards all three of them.

"Basically."

"When do we get to eat?  I'm starvin'.  I don't think I have eaten since breakfast before the train ride up here," Spike whined.

"Train ride?  Where are you even from anyways?" Chems returned.

"From Ponyville... But I was born here, in the Royal Palace."

"They keep dragons here?" he asked, suprised.

"Well, no.  I was grown in an egg like normal dragons, but their is no background history of me, so I was assigned as Twilight's assistant and she was somewhat of a parental guardian until I grow up."

"And this Twilight pony, what's she like?"

"You know, a regular pony, good with books, math... And the most powerful pony ever besides the Princesses and Star Swirl the Bearded!" he exclaimed.

They all looked at him, then the sense of respect rushed in the room.  Spike was a high roller, big stakes, took chances.  Thanks to Twilight, her friends, and all of their adventures, he was exposed to danger more often then any pony.

"So, if she's so powerful, why haven't we heard of her?"

"Well, I don't want to break the bad news, but you guys live in Marelem, biggest crime center in all of Equestria.  I don't think you guys keep up with the latest news within the century, let alone only a few years ago."

They all nodded their heads and agreed.

"I dropped my bag back there," Spike finally said, sitting with his head bowed.  He was given the responsibility of watching over it and it was lost.  He let Pinkie Pie down, but he guessed that he was starting to feel guilty only now because he finally had some time to think about it.

"Don't worry, there will be more.  They should be letting us out into the yards now to get some exercise.  If you're that desperate, let me see if I can hook you up," Chems nudged him.

"I don't want you thinking I do this stuff, it's all just for the party tonight," Spike informed him of the truth.  Spike wasn't really up to doing all the things he was being involved in, but it was all for the bachelor's party.

"Seriously, don't worry, we wont tell a soul.  This is just like high school, getting into trouble, roaming the yards, getting business, and just having fun!" Chems laughed.

A guard opened all the cells and ordered them into the yard.

This was going to be rough... And fun.

Doing Time

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A New 'Friend'

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Drugs and Cake

Spike made his way down the street, so confident.  He needed cake, but where could he get some?  Maybe he could ask around, he was sure that somepony would have an idea to get some fast and easy.

Something caught Spike's eye, in one of the alley ways between two buildings.  There was some old pony wrapped in a plastic bag, covered in dirt, and had a cup filled with some coins.  He was lying next to a box.

"I'll ask that fine looking gentlecolt!" he said to himself in hesitation.

He ran over to him in broad daylight, knelt down and tried to get his attention by poking him with his sharp claws.  He was swatted away by the homeless pony, but Spike wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.

"Hey mister, I couldn't help but smell y-... I mean, 'see' you from across the street, and I was wondering if you could hook me up with some cake for a party I'm going to."

"Cake, you want some cake?  It'll cost you some dough, if you know what I mean," The old pony croaked out.

"Sure, I have a blank check!  What do you need?" Spike said, matter of factly.

"Seven hundred bits for one bag."

"Bag? I didn't know you could hold a cake in a bag!" Spike was dumbfounded, but this colt said he had cake, and Spike needed it.  He rushed over to the bank, explained who he was to the clerk, argued with him, grabbed a sack full of money when the clerk wasn't looking, and ran back to the old colt without anypony noticing.

"I think this is seven hundred, or more.  Just keep the rest, now where is that cake at?"

"Here you are, my scaly friend, don't use it all up at once or you might OD!"

"OD?  What the hay does OD mean?" Spike had no clue, he just guessed it meant 'Overly Delicious' for the cake.

The pony handed I'm a big bag of some white powered stuff and it had a sticky note attached to it that said 'CAK'.

Cak?

"Uh, I asked for cake, not sugar, I want my money back!" Spike demanded.  Was this some kind of joke?

"Nah, trust me man, that stuff is some strong cake, bro.  That will keep you going for weeks. You will get your money's worth!"

"Whatever, man, maybe I can just put this in some punch or something."

Spike held the bag in his hand and ran over to Pinkie's party room at the palace.  Spike opened up the doors to find Pinkie darting around the room with streamers and balloons.  She was a speedy pink bullet, until Spike burst in and ran to the middle of the room.

Pinkie ran over to him and said; "What's up, Spike?  Isn't this wonderful, the Princess said that I get to hold the reception and Princess Cadence came in with Twilight and she said she liked my party if it were for little foals and I said thank you and she walked out with Twilight and Twilight seemed upset, but I don't know why she seemed upset, I'm just so happy I get to do this, I mean, it's not like everypony gets to do this, host the royal reception of a royal wedding, this is going to be the best wedding ever, don't you agree because I totally agree!  Guess what rhymes with agree! Glee! Shmee! Dee!  See!  Lee! Me -"

"PINKIE!" Spike exclaimed, wiping all of Pinkie's sweat and saliva off of him after her party rant.

"So, do you need something?" she jumped up and down in excitement.

"I was wondering if you could spare me some party favors for the bachelor party, do you have any extras?"

"Hmmmm, nopey dopey lokey, Spike Wikey, I have been so busy with the party, I think I have used them all up!  There is a party store, though, down the road, you should try out there!"

"Fine, I'll try out there."

"Okey dokey lokey!"

Spike walked back to the door, when Pinkie saw what was in Spikes hand.

"Speaking of dopey... Spike, what do you have in your hands?  Is that... Sugar?"

"Well, the colt outside gave this to me, he said it was cake, but this doesn't look like any cake I have eaten." Spike handed the bag to Pinkie, and she dabbed a bit of it onto her hoof, then licked it.

"Spike, I can tell you this; that is defiantly not cake." she laughed at him, but a nervous laugh.

"Well, then this is pointless, I might as well give it to somepony else." Spike moped.

"NO!" she started acting very serious, "Listen, Spike, you can't show this to anypony unless it's me, it can be our little secret, okay?"

"Gee, Pinkie , if you want the... Whatever this is, you can have it." he motioned to the door.

"No, Spike, I can't, you seem like a less obvious person to be holding onto this, you need to keep it, but only use it on special occasions, I guess we all had to grow up one of these days." Pinkie handed the bag to Spike.  "Let this be a lesson in responsibility for you, Spike, stay put of trouble, please."

"Okay, Pinkie, I'll go try the party shop, where exactly is it?"

"I think you can handle yourself Spike, so I think you can go on your own.  It's in the part of Canterlot that you don't want to end up in if your carriage breaks down."

"What, Marelem?" Spike asked.  Marelem was renowned for the most arrest, busts, and attempts at almost anything the Canterlot Royal Guard have written down.

"Ya, but with that stuff your holding, you'll blend right in!"

"What exactly is that stuff, anyways?" Spike asked, still wanting an answer for what he had purchased.

"Let's just say that it is cake, okay?"

Spike huffed and walked out of the door.  He was heading to Marelem, crime center in all of Canterlot.