Pandemonium.

by IMN

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Main 6
Length: 4659

Instead of stone, the elements of harmony turned discord into a draconequus foal who imprinted on twilight sparkle as his mother, nothing wrong with that, right? ~Written for EQD's most dangerous game contest 2

Instead of stone, the elements of harmony turned discord into a draconequus foal who imprinted on twilight sparkle as his mother, nothing wrong with that, right?

Written for Equestria Daily's The More Most Dangerous Game Writing Contest

Prompt:

-"An old foe is reincarnated in the body of a young pony. What will the Mane Six do when they find out?" (Past Sins)

Published 2015-01-24 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-24 17:30:02 UTC

A Confusing Announcement

“What’s this?” Discord just barely noticed the element of loyalty trying to hit him, just then a barrage of missiles from the elements showered him left and right.

“Oh no.” Discord couldn’t believe what was happening, how was it possible for the elements to reunite again? It was unthinkable that little Miss Sparkle butt could defeat his spell, could she?

But before he could react, an explosion came from the bearers that showered Discord with a friendship rainbow in the likes of which he had never experienced.

The rainbow covered the entirety of Ponyville, cleansing it from the chaos that seeped into its core. The only thing left was the dying scream of the lord of chaos.

“We did it girls!” Twilight’s cheer was promptly joined by her friends in a jovial group hug as everything around them seemingly turned to normal. However the cheer suddenly died down as they realized that a certain statue was missing.

“Where is Discord?” Rainbow Dash flew in urgency hoping to spot the sneaky draconequus before he could escaped.

“We didn’t... you know... kill him... did we?” Fluttershy meekly shrunk back behind Applejack who was nervously on the lookout for any signs of the trickster.

“We shouldn’t be able to,” Twilight replied despite her own struggles of doubts, “the elements are supposed to turn him to stone like they did with the princesses.”

“Then why isn’t there any stone statue of him anywhere?” Rarity said while retreating, forming with the rest of the bearers a protective circle as they all expected Discord to come popping out of nowhere.

Silence fell on the group, all eyeing their surroundings, hoping, praying that their foe has been defeated and not frolicking around with them.

A tumbleweed rolled iconically as nothing seemed to happen.

Just then, Fluttershy noticed something amiss, “Look,” she pointed the group toward a basket that appeared where Discord was standing. The basket in and of itself was nothing special, it was made of straws and had a white sheet wrapped around something in the middle.

Tentatively, the mane six slowly crept toward the basket, their heart racing, their nerves on edge, expecting a blast of chaos from a sneaky draconequus at any moment.

Upon reaching the basket, they stood in utter readiness to leap into action at any second.

“Would somepony take a peek already,” the tension seemed to have gotten to Rainbow Dash first.

Twilight looked to her left and right. With her friends nodding in encouragement, she carefully levitated the sheets, only to find a big, white, round egg placed casually in the middle. Twilight exhaled deeply.

“All clear girls,” Twilight smiled at her friends, their sighs, ‘oh goodness’, and smiles calmed her racing heart further, “No sign of Discord yet…”

As if on cue, the egg started to wobble, causing the poor unicorn to jump back in fear and her friends to freeze in their places. Then a loud crack rippled through the egg, “Everypony hid!” was all the warning her friends got before the egg exploded in confetti, licorice, and popcorn.

Grunting, Twilight casted a spell to remove the confetti from her mane, “I knew it!” she stomped toward the basket, her mind set on blasting Discord to the moon this time, “I don’t know how you escaped Dis…”

For the second time her speech was stolen from her as what she processed what was in front of her. There, in the basket, was a yawning Discord, only it wasn’t the Discord she and her friends came to know. This Discord was small, too small in fact to be any threat to anyone. His big toothy head only accentuated his big eyes as he rubbed them sleepily with his little paw, while his tiny claw slumped lazily on his side, same as his bat and feathered wing.

He looked up at Twilight who seemed even more willing to flee before her heart melted in this adorable puddle of a draconequus foal. His pupils grew thrice their size as he gave Twilight Sparkle the biggest, toothiest smile she had ever seen since they threw that party to Pinkie Pie. Then, with a single declaration and open paw and claw waiting his hug he declared, “Mommy!”

That was all it took for Twilight.exe to stop functioning, resulting in an extremely nervous laugh. Twilight addressed the draconequus foal in her highest pitch yet, “Discord, stop it already. If you think you can turn into a foal and play your little parenting game with me, think again,” Twilight knew the moment she laid eyes upon that egg that the trickster was up to no good, “I’m on to you buster, don’t think you can fool me.”

The little draconequus brought down his paw and claw, seeing his mother scolding at him confused him endlessly. He tilted his head displaying more of his big red eyes as he asked in bewilderment, “Mommy?”

Twilight kept eyeing the foal when she heard a loud gasp from behind her.

“What in tarnation?” Applejack was the first to peer the little monstrosity and she was not too pleased.

“What in Tartarus is that?” Rainbow simply stared at the thing more perplexed than threatened.

“Uuuu,” Pinkie Pie approached the foal, mesmerized by what had transpired, sticking her face so close that it made the draconequus foal giggle. He then touched her nose with his claw, “Boop,” Pinkie declared seemingly oblivious by her friends’ aghast, causing the foal to giggle more in return.

“Pinkie, stop that!” Twilight pulled her away with her levitation field, causing Pinkie to sadden in return, “Discord, enough games already, turn back so we can blast you already!” Twilight completely missed when the draconequus foal’s expression turned sour as he gave her long droopy stares.

“Well, this certainly is an interesting development,” Rarity remarked as she scrutinized the foal.

“Really? Because I find him adorable,” Fluttershy walked toward the little guy and cooed at him while stroking his mane, with him melting in her petting in response.

Everypony stared at Fluttershy in astonishment.

“Ah’ beg yer pardon Fluttershy,” Applejack echoed everypony’s thought, “There is nothing adorable about that monster.”

“Applejack!” Fluttershy immediately closed the foal’s ears, which she didn’t think were fluffy at all, mind you, “not in front of the foal, please!”

“Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash flew in, “he’s Discord; how can you not see it?”

“No,” Fluttershy’s initial boost of courage was quickly dismantled, as she shrunk back into her shyness, “I- I don’t think he is, I mean…”

“On what grounds don’t you think he is Discord?” Twilight asked, “Discord is nowhere to be found, and instead of him we have this draconequus foal, Draconequii don’t just fall of the tree, you know.”

“It’s just that,” Fluttershy gulped, “as you said, he’s just a foal.”

“Twilight darling, you have to agree she has a point.” Rarity walked toward Fluttershy for a closer look, “Now that I look at you, you don’t look as threatening as mean old Discord at all, don’t you?” with a scratch under his chin, the foal started wagging his bushy tail merrily.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Rainbow Dash groaned, “What do you make of this Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie put on her thinking face for a moment, then her expression suddenly lit up with a broad smile and sparkle in her eyes, “Girls, I know how we can be sure that this little guy isn’t Discord!”

All heads turned toward her in silent approval, Pinkie bounced toward the draconequus foal, lowering her head to meet his, and smiled ever so widely, “Hi.”

“Hi,” keen to imitate her greeting the foal replied with the same high pitch voice and finished it with the same awfully big smile on his face.

“Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack think that you are a mean Mc meanie pants named Discord, but Fluttershy and Rarity don’t think so,” Pinkie pointed at each of her friends in return, then suddenly turned toward the foal with an accusational hoof pointed straight at his face, causing him to stare at in in utter confusion, “So I’m going to ask you once, are you Discord?”

The foal immediately shook his head with a resounding “nope.”

Pinkie Pie eyed him suspiciously, “do you Pinkie swear?”

The foal scratched his head for a moment then turned a determined glare at Pinkie, “I do.”

“Then repeat after me,” Pinkie stood tall as she reiterated her Pinkie swear, “Cross my heart,” she crossed her hoof across her heart, “and hope to fly,” she shot her hoof at a random direction, “stick a cupcake in my eye,” she stuck her hoof in her eye.

The foal winced, “that looks painful,” he said with concern over Pinkie’s eye written all over his face.

Seeing the foal near tears, “Oh no it’s not,” Pinkie removed her hoof from her eye revealing that it looks normal, “you just place it gently,” she repeated that last motion much slowly just to put his mind at ease, “now you do it.”

Hesitantly, the foal imitated, “Cross my heart,” he made the same crossing gesture with his paw, “and hope to fly,” he then sailed his paw to the same direction as Pinkie’s, “stick a cupcake *glup* in my eye?”

Seemingly satisfied, Pinkie turned with a triumphant posture and declared, “He’s not Discord,” to the obvious relief of the young foal.

Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on her face, while Applejack simply shook hers. Twilight groaned then faced the foal one last time, “Then what is your name?”

The foal put on his best impression of Pinkie Pie’s thinking face, then turned toward Twilight with another big toothy smile, “Pandemonium,” he declared with everypony cringing.

Rainbow Dash leaned toward Rarity, “What does that means?”

“It means chaos on a grand scale.” Rarity whispered.

But before this scene ends, Pandemonium let out one final surprise by pointing straight at Twilight and declaring for the second time, “and you are my mommy!” with a cheerful attitude that made Twilight.exe crash.

An Interesting Debate.

“Intriguing.”

“Fascinating.”

“Interesting.”

Pandemonium sat in the middle of the throne room, fidgeting in place while twiddling his tail as he glanced nervously at three giant ponies with sparkly manes and tails scrutinized every detail that is him.

Twilight Sparkle rushed toward Canterlot castle to meet up with her mentor, hoping to find an answer to her Pandemonium conundrum. To her surprise, Princess Celestia has prepared a celebration to commemorate her victory over Discord. What no one expected was Twilight’s own little surprise, causing the festivities to a halt and an immediate summoning of the security council of three alicorns and the captain of the royal guard, who seemed too chummy with Twilight for Pandemonium’s taste.

“Inquisitive,” reiterated Princess Luna, eliciting a groan from Twilight Sparkle.

“We get it already,” Twilight exasperated, “can you tell us what’s going on?”

“Patience Twilight,” Princess Celestia bowed a little in order to peer at Pandemonium, “it seems you have a perfectly healthy draconequus foal on your hooves.”

“And a cute one at that.” Cadance quipped with giggles.

“I know that already, what I want to know is how Discord ended up like that in the first place.”

“It seems much is unbeknownst to us about the Elements of Harmony’s function,” Luna exclaimed in a rather high volume voice causing all present to recoil, and one draconequus foal to run toward his mother in fright.

“That big butt pony is scary!” he declared to Luna’s embarrassment, and the giggle of the court.

“As Luna just said,” Celestia managed to bring her giggles and sister under control, “much about the elements we still don’t know. From past experiences, it seemed like the Elements were meant as a measure of control, if an entity brings chaos, it either isolate it by turning the perpetrator to stone such as the case of Discord,” Celestia pointed at Pandemonium who shrieked further under Twilight, for her increased frustration, “or in Luna’s case exile them to a place they can do no harm,” she then took her sister with a gentle embrace, increasing Luna’s blush, but not her discomfort.

“So what happened this time?”

“Don’t be silly Twilight, I think it’s quite obvious what happened,” Princess Cadance brushed the bushy tail sweeping Twilight’s chest with her magic causing a yelp and a certain Pandemonium rushing to another hiding place, behind Spike the dragon, “All I can tell you that he is the same draconequus who broke into my engagement party and turned everything into jelly...”

“You’re engaged?” Twilight Sparkle interrupted with glee, “who’s the lucky colt?” Shining Armor stiffened, “Or is it a lucky filly?” Shining Armor choked, “Congratulations either way.”

“Thanks,” Cadance looked at her suitor who shook his head vigorously, “as I was saying, Pandemonium is in fact Discord, but at the same time, he isn’t.”

“Huh?” came the unanimous response from the bearers and Spike.

“What Cadance is trying to say is that this is Discord in body and form, however he is not the Discord we once knew. He seemed to have lost most of his powers, as well as his millennial long memory,” Celestia explained.

“So, we turned Discord into a foal?” Rainbow Dash was the first of the mane six to talk, “Can we even do that?”

“I don’t think so, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia paused, “I think it’s about second chances.”

“Indeed it is,” every head in the room turned toward Luna’s affirmation, which came out in a rather normal voice for the first time she spoke, “Dearest sister, hast thou thought of how the Elements cured us of our darkness? Or hast thou assumed that mine darkness vanished because of magic?”

“We… never really talked about this didn’t we?”

Luna shook her head, “The Elements acts in two fold, first they nullify thin magic to nil, then they judge thee, if ye are worthy of redemption then tis’ the path chosen for thee,” she looked toward Pandemonium who was peering at her, “guess now we know what happens if thin was found unworthy.”

“Woah woah woah,” Rainbow Dash landed in the center of the group, “So the elements were trying to reform Discord?”

“Affirmative.”

“So, what does all this mean to us?” Rarity gestured at the group.

“More importantly, what does that mean to me?” Twilight could feel her heart pounding oddly, from everything she could gather, this could only go one way.

“I’m afraid you are now a mother of a draconequus Twilight Sparkle.”

“YES.”

Suddenly all eyes fell on Shining Armor who was suddenly prancing like an idiot singing to himself “I’m an uncle now.”

Twilight glared daggers at her brother. She clomped angrily toward him until he was within reach, then she screamed, “How Can You Be Dancing at My Misery!” causing her dancing brother to fall down face first from the outburst with ears ringing.

“Aren’t you blowing this out of proportion Twi?” He asked the moment the ringing in his ear started to subdue.

“Let’s review the facts shall we?” Twilight started pacing in front of her brother, “I’m twenty year old single mare with no experience in how to deal with foals, who has just been assigned to take care of an apocalypse waiting to happen in an attempt to prevent it, and you are asking me if I am blowing things out of proportion?”

“You took care of a dragon at half that age,” Shining pointed at Spike who responded with a shrug, “how hard would it be to raise a draconequus in comparison?”

“Well I… But this…I can’t… urgh!” Twilight huffed at her grinning brother, “I hate when you use logic like that.”

“And just like with Spike, you will not be alone in this Twilight,” Celestia turned toward the rest of the mane six, “this is a burden you all shall share, although Twilight will be taking the hardest part, I expect all of you to be there for her aid.”

“Of course we will,” Rainbow Dash was the first.

“You can count on us, Princess,” Applejack affirmed.

“This is going to be fun!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

“Someone has to teach him some class,” Rarity mused.

“We’ll do our best,” Fluttershy quietly spoke last.

“I don’t believe this,” Twilight shrunk under her hooves.

“Don’t worry Twi,” her brother wrapped his hoof around her, “you also have me and Cadance, heck even Spike can help. He is Panda’s big brother after all.”

“Panda?” Twilight glared at her brother incredulously.

“That’s his pet name.” Shining whispered before returning to his glee of becoming an uncle.

“Don’t drag me into this!” Spike protested while trying to escape the big hug from a very happy Pandemonium.

Twilight hid her face from all the commotion going on around her, “what have I gotten myself into?”

Bathroom Talk.

“We’re home!” Twilight announced to her latest addition as they entered the library.

“Yay,” Pandemonium jumped like a squirrel who found his nuts, bouncing all over the place before accidentally knocking a shelf of books.

“Uh oh.” He murmured to his upside down self as Spike’s jaw dropped and Twilight wore a scowl that could bring down a castle.

“Pandemonium, look at the mess you did!” Twilight’s horn came alive as she levitated the shelf, books, and her new son, restoring the shelf and the books on top with a loud crack then floated the foal to her eye level.

“I’m sorry,” Pandemonium tried his hardest to avoid looking directly into his mother’s eyes from his already compromised position.

Twilight huffed, “look, I’ll let this one slide since is the first day for both of us,” she set him down in the center of the room, “However, if we are going to work together, there will be some ground rules.”

“You tell him Twi,” Spike cheered as he closed the front door after putting the ‘closed’ sign.

“Listen carefully Pandemonium, I’d rather not repeat myself,” Pandemonium’s ears perked, his eyes shining in attention. Twilight puffed her chest then started walking back and forth in front of Pandemonium, “Rule number one: No running, no bouncing, no jumping, no skipping in the library, is that clear?”

Pandemonium nodded eagerly as he tried to put his best I’m here to please expression. “Rule number two: you break it you fix it, understood?”

Pandemonium’s moment of hesitation did not go unnoticed, “What is it?” Twilight snapped.

“What if I don’t know how?” Twilight thought for a moment, he did just raise a good point, even Spike can’t fix everything, should she really be enforcing such rigid rule?

“Don’t worry, we’ll teach you,” Twilight made a mental note to thank Spike later for his intervention before she changed her mind about the second rule. From a book she once read, one can never go back on his words in front of his kids, or else one might set a bad example in front of them.

“Rule number three: you listen to what I say and you obey any order I give you,” Good one Twilight, now you sound like Shining in one of his training drills, Twilight berated herself for that last rule, she knew parenting wasn’t her forte, but that was no excuse for a shady job at it, I definitely need to research parenting tonight if I’m going to make this work.

She looked down on her newly acquired son, as he looked back at her with a bewildering expression on his face, Twilight relaxed her expression. Maybe Celestia is right, maybe this Discord isn’t trying to trick me or make fun of me, “any questions?” she finished her statement with a rather warm smile.

Pandemonium raised his claw like a pupil in class, the entire thing made Twilight’s heart melt some more as well as increased her doubts, “Yes Panda?”

“I need to pee.”

Okay maybe not. “Alright, bathroom is on top of the stairs second door to your left.”

“But I don’t know how!”

Twilight deadpanned, “What?” her mind raced in a thousand direction, chiefly amongst them was this question: how could he not be potty trained? “What do you want me to do then?”

“Will you teach me?” Pandemonium squirmed as he placed his paw and claw between his hind legs.

Twilight’s mind raced for her to find a solution, I wasn’t there when dad and Shining potty trained Spike! Then the solution hit her like a lightning bolt, “Spike!” she announced before the young dragon managed to sneak away upstairs, “Why don’t you be a good older brother and show little Panda how to pee.”

“No way!” Spike shook his head in disgust, “Do you even know how embarrassing that is? I still have a reputation to keep.”

“What reputation?” Twilight asked sarcastically, “Everypony still knows you still sleep with your teddy bear.”

Spike flushed red, but before he could say anything Pandemonium interjected, “I think I’m going to leak!”

Horrorstruck, Twilight turned to Spike, “I’ll give you an extra tub of ice cream.”

“Make that two and you have a deal.”

With a nod Spike rushed toward Pandemonium, grabbed him by his wrist then whisked him to the bathroom upstairs.

Twilight inhaled a deep breath, “Okay, where is that book about parenting?” she said to nobody in particular. Immediately though, she found the mentioned book and opened it at a random page that caught her interest.

However her research was short lived when the entire library shook under the sound of a hammer mill coming from the upstairs bathroom. Twilight rushed to the scene as the sound turned into that of a sawing mill, just as she reached upstairs the sound turned into nail hammering.

With all her magic Twilight slammed the door open yelling, “What’s going on here?”

The place fell eerily silent all of a sudden, Twilight spotted Pandemonium standing in front of the toilet, voiding his bladder while he peered at her curiously, but saw nothing of her number one assistant.

“Spike? Spike!” Twilight stepped into the bathroom, “where are you?” The door behind her slowly started to close, revealing a smashed Spike behind it.

“Help,” he waved his claws helplessly at her, Twilight immediately pulled him up with her magic.

“Spike!” she exclaimed one more time, “Are you okay? I heard loud noises, what happened here?”

Spike only inhaled in return, “define okay,” he scolded, “what got into you all of a sudden?”

“I heard loud noises so I rushed to make sure everything was alright,” Twilight justified herself as she bore a guilty look.

“Yeah, yeah, we were running through the basics, I was teaching him how to aim and you stormed in like a lunatic smashing me into the wall.” Spike deadpanned.

“Yay!” Pandemonium suddenly bounced from his place then gave Twilight and Spike a big hug, “I finished my pee pee,” he declared with absolute bliss.

Twilight looked at Pandemonium, then turned toward Spike wearing her most horrified look yet, “he didn’t wash after his bathroom break, did he?”

Spike sigh, “didn’t even flush the toilet yet,” he pointed out.

“Ew ew ew ew,” Twilight’s horn suddenly flared brightly, sending both Pandemonium and Spike flying toward the ceiling. As she pranced in her place singing “ew ew ew,” she flushed the toilet, swiped where Pandemonium’s aim was off with the bathroom mop, then turned on the showers, filled the tub with hot water and lots of soap, before finally splashing Pandemonium, Spike, and herself in it at the same time.

“Ahhh,” she exhaled in relaxation as the aroma of cleanliness assaulted her nostrils.

“Well, that was nice,” Spike walked to the edge of the tub, “see ya,” but before he could fumble away from his bath, a purple aura levitated him back in.

“Don’t be silly Spike,” Twilight’s demeanor returned, “We’ll be bathing together from now on.”

“What? Why?” this time, it was Spike who was aghast, “who gave you that idea?”

Twilight smiled sheepishly as she levitated the book she found downstairs, then opened it at the designated random page she stumbled upon earlier, “it says here that for a better bonding experience, family members should try and do things together, like cooking, eating and bathing.”

Spike looked at the cover of the book that looked suspiciously dry, “Twilight? You do realize that you are reading ‘How to raise a nudist child’?”

“So? We are always naked Spike, there is nothing wrong with… Pandemonium stop that” Twilight created a shield to shelter her from the foal’s splashing.

Pandemonium stopped his splashing and giggling and gave his mother a long stare, Twilight simply shook her head, “How did I get into this mess?” she lamented her luck.

“You did touch the egg first,” Spike reminded her unnecessarily.

“Next time, I’m going to have you touch it first,” Twilight replied acidly.

“Don’t take it out on me, I’m in this mess just as you are,” Spike’s frown deepened, “I’m your number one assistant, remember?”

“Mom?” Pandemonium tugged at his mother hoof.

Twilight sighed, then looked down to him, “what is it Panda?” oh great, now I can’t call him by his full name anymore, thanks a lot Shining Armor.

“Do you hate me?”

For the third time in the span of less than ten minutes, Twilight stared in shock at her son, “No, I don’t hate you,” her voice had a very high pitch to it, “what makes you say that?”

Pandemonium grabbed his tail and started fidgeting with its end, “You’ve been frowning at me all day, and I know I did some bad things, I don’t know what they are, but I promise that I won’t do them again, and I keep hearing that I am some bad guy named Discord who hurt everypony, but I swear, I’m not him, I didn’t hurt anypony and I don’t want to never, ever, ever. So please mommy, please, don’t hate me,” tears swelled in Pandemonium’s eyes leaving a sharp pang in Twilight’s heart.

Either Discord is that great of an actor, or this is really happening. Twilight thought as Pandemonium broke into a sob. With a shake of her head and a small giggle, Twilight Sparkle took Pandemonium into a soft hug, “hush, little one,” she cooed until Pandemonium stopped crying, “Mommy just had a very rough day that is all. Of course I don’t hate you, how can I ever hate those beautiful big eyes?” Twilight nuzzled the little draconequus before wiping away his tears. Pandemonium giggled softly before setting into his mother’s hug.

Spike stared at the odd couple in confusion, “are you sure about this?” he asked, unsure himself of what prompt that change.

“If we, his closest family, aren’t going to give him the benefit of a doubt, then who will?” Twilight argued.

“If you say so…” Twilight could tell that Spike’s uncertainty was there from the long look he gave to the edge of the tub.

“I can count on you with this, can I?” Twilight held a firm gaze on the dragon.

Sensing what’s going on around him, Pandemonium let go of Twilight then gave Spike his most pleading look.

Spike’s mouth suddenly hung open, those are the cutest puppy dog eyes I have ever seen, then a thought occurred to him, I can use him to get Rarity, then he remembered something Shining Armor told him about using Twilight to woo Cadance, huh, Shining might be right about this after all.

“Of course you can,” he then saluted her.

“Yay,” Pandemonium jumped in joy before rushing Spike with a hug with of course Spike’s protest.

Twilight watched as the dragon tried to away from the draconequus’s hug, my boys, she thought, I should get used to that, I think.

“Hey, let’s play a game of pretend,” Pandemonium suggested.

“If it gets you to stop hugging me, sure,” Spike finally managed to push Pandemonium away.

“Alright then,” Twilight interjected, “I’ll get the rubber toys,” let’s hope I’ll never come to regret this.