Author's Note

Here's to help identify who is speaking just in case you get confused.

Saboru
Lily
Queen Chrysalis

Settling Into The Hive

"I can't believe this is all really happening to me. I can't believe that I'm letting it happen to me!" I shouted as my 'asshole' mood came out.

"What do you mean 'letting it happen to me', I thought you were glad to raising Lily, it most certainly seemed like it earlier when I threw the idea at you." Chrysalis said as she walked along beside me.

"I was, and am, glad its just that usually whenever anything good happens to me it doesn't last very long and shit goes to hell when that time is up."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? I mean even if you say is true, don't you think you should at least try to enjoy while you can? After all you have a new daughter who's eager to have you as her father and maybe this good thing will be one that'll actually last." Chrysalis said while rolling her eyes at my moments of self-induced distress.

"Yeah I guess you're right, I am being a little dramatic it's just that history has a tendency to repeat itself with me and I don't want anything happening to Lily because of my misfortune." I said looking downcasted. After telling Lily that I was going to be her new dad all of us had headed back to Chrysalis's hive. During the entire trip Lily kept asking me all of these questions about myself, most of them about what I am, where did I come, what was my family like, she didn't particularly like the answer I gave her for that but because of that I decided to get our minds off of that topic and started playing around in the forest while we walked. It was mainly me just chasing her around like some monster but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have as much fun as she did. I understand that Lily was going to become a new and bigger part of my life, a better part of my life. I may only be nineteen but I'll be damned if I won't try to be a good father for her, after all my mom had me when she was fourteen, I think I've kinda forgotten what I was told about the age difference my mother and myself but still she tried her hardest to raise me and my first two siblings on her own before my stepdad came along, and would say she did a damn good job.

Anyway, back to what I was saying a moment ago. Me and Lily were playing around the rest of the trip back to the Hive and when we got there I was impressed at what I saw. The part that was on the surface looked like it was a small medieval village that had walls surrounding it with changelings going between these structures that looked like they were made out of the chitin material that covers their bodies. When I asked, Chrysalis had confirmed that they were indeed made out of chitin. I could've gawked at them all day but a yawn from a certain filly had told me that it was time to get a certain changeling to bed. After cradling Lily into my arms Chrysalis had taken me into a chitin building that laid in the middle of the settlement and led us underground. When I asked where she was taking us she had told me that we were going to the room that belonged to Lily and her parents as she decided that was where we could stay since it was a familiar setting for Lily. I decided to have Chrysalis take on a tour of the Hive while leaving Lily in the care of one of the guards that had come to save her. It wasn't to long into the tour before my thoughts started to shift from happy to scared, sad ones which led to now.

"Well you do know that you wouldn't be the only one looking after her right?" All the changelings in a hive look after the young but their parents are the primary ones that do most of the care taking, so if anything bad comes up you won't be the only there to help her I could say the same should any trouble befall you as well David." Chrysalis said as she rubbed a holey hoof up and down my back.

*sigh*"I know that Queen Chrysalis, I guess I just need some time to allow that to stick in my head. I've been alone for longer than I can remember, and that's saying something considering my memory is like that of an elephant's."

"Oh really now, you wouldn't mind me putting that to the test would you?" She asked with sly grin.

"And how, pray tell, are you going to do that. I've only been in Equestria for about three years, I've purposely blocked out the memories of everything from the age of twelve and below and what's left is stuff you wouldn't even be able to know whether or not I was actually tell the truth about something?" I came back with and caused Chrysalis to pout adorably.

"Oh you're no fun." She complained.

"Hahahaha, whatever you say my queen..................hey Queen Chry-"

"You can just call me Chrysalis, David, although you're now taking care of Lily doesn't mean that you're one of my subjects and I'm not going to bite your head off even you were. Actually I would prefer if you did leave out my title whenever you addressed me." She told me with sincerity, which meant that it wasn't a trap.

I was going to start up again but it would seem Saburo decided to wake up, yeah the lazy fuck likes to sleep when he doesn't even do shit, even does it in the middle of fight two the cheeky bastard. "I know what you're thinking David but I thought we agreed it be best to wait before asking her." Knew he was going to say that, only reason he would wake up from his naps is to put in his two cents on something that would affect him as well.

"Yeah, well I changed my mind. I think it would be better to ask now instead of later when I could potentially hurt her feelings and lose her trust so that means there's been a change of plans. Would have told you earlier to get your input but you decided to take a nap so you shit yourself out of luck." I shot at him.

"What did you expect me to do you. You were playing with the child and being sappy and we both know I don't do sappy." He shot back.

"I expected you to keep an eye out for anything suspicious you fucking idiot. I thought I made that clear before we left but apparently you have to attention span of an infant." Shot, hit, now shut the fuck up.

"Uh, David who are you talking to because there nopony else here besides us and I know that you weren't talking to me judging by your conversation." Chrysalis asked as she looked at me with a perplexed expression. I was contemplating on whether or not to tell her about Saburo. She did say that she wanted to know what kept my darkness under control and I did agree to help her with that so I guess I had my decision made.

"Well Chrysalis I was talking to, and you may think I'm crazy but I really don't care, my dark spirit." I told her while looking directly in her eyes.

"Your dark spirit? Is that something all humans have or is it just you?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well in a sense, yes, all humans have a dark spirit within them but with everyone else it's more of a subconscious thing that drives some of their decisions but with me it's different." I explained to her.

"How so?"

"Well for one I can actually to mine directly and get an answer back though I guess you already know that from just now, but he is also the reason why I haven't succumbed to the darkness within me. It's because Saboru is the manifestation of all of that negative emotion within me and why I was able to beat that hydra like it was nothing." I told her as I saw that I had her intrigued with this story of mine I just hope she doesn't bug me about his creation more than I'm willing to tell.

"But I thought you said that you didn't know why you able to keep it in check. Were you lying to me when you said that?" She asked pointing her hoof at me accusingly as she flew up so that we were face to face.

*sigh*"Yeah, I did, it's just that I didn't think you would believe me if I told you the truth. You can't really blame for thinking that you were going to think I was insane, even if am, but that's not really the point. Look Chrysalis, you have to understand where I'm coming from with this. I've had trust issues for a long time now thanks to something that happened to me a while back, and being booted from Equestria by the ponies that I thought I could call my friends, that I thought that I could trust to be for me when they found out about the monster inside me, it's left me..........feeling like I'll always have to run, always have to hide." I ranted on as I leaned over a rail that overlooked what appeared to be a be a meeting area for the changelings.

"David, what did happen to you. When you mentioned that part about having trust issues I felt a massive surge of anger and sadness surface to the front of your emotions." Chrysalis asked sounding concerned about me.

"Nothing I can talk about without consequences." I replied unintentionally cold.

"Hey there's no need for that tone human, I was only trying to help!" She snapped at me immediately afterwards and held a powerful glare directed towards me.

I instantly felt regret for still not being able to reel in my emotions when it comes back to this subject but I don't apologize because I find it to be pointless at this point. So with the tension in the air now high I did the only thing I could think of, turn around and walk away with my head down, hood up, and hands in my pockets. Since I didn't hear anything from behind me it was safe to assume that she was in fact mad and that I should probably avoid her from now on, if that look behind her glare was any indicator she wasn't suddenly so fond of taking in the alien from another world.

Great another place that'll grow to hate me. I should have known better than to think I could achieve some level happiness here. It looks as though my rambling was warranted after all. I thought as I walked through the tunnels of the underground. But I just can't up and leave this place, not when I have Lily to take care of now.

I explored the Hive for a bit longer, avoiding Chrysalis whenever I saw her, until I figured that it would be a good time to head back to my room and check on Lily thinking that maybe she'd be able to cheer me up. Having already memorized the tunnel systems I've traversed during my exploring it wasn't hard to get back to my room but I noticed that the guard was missing from the door. I didn't jump to any conclusions yet seeing how they could be inside keeping Lily occupied while I was gone.

I walked in to see that Lily was still asleep but no guard in site. Protect their own my ass. What guard would leave a child in a room by themselves with no one to take their place. I was seriously angry about this but I wasn't going to go complain to Chrysalis considering everything but I could tell you this, I'm never leaving Lily alone again unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not going to become one of those clingy parents who are always nosing in their kids business because they don't them to be alone, for their own safety an old friend's mother had told me when I questioned her parenting, that did not end well.

After checking on my little filly to make sure she was alright I sat on the bed, that was actually big enough to sleep comfortably on, and stared up at the ceiling contemplating how things might go from here on out. "I don't think she's going to boot you out that quickly. Changelings can feel the emotions of others and should have felt your regret, but she should have been also able to tell that bringing up 'Her' was a touchy subject for you. Yes she couldn't have known the exact subject of your discomfort but she should have seen that coming, especially since you had just told her of your trust issues." Although he did kinda have a point I knew that I was still in the wrong on this but there isn't exactly an easy to fix shit like this with just an apology.

Seeing how Lily was still out like a light and I was bored I decided it would be a good to pop in my headphones, crank the music, close my eyes, and allow the beats to cheer me up. I looked through one of my playlist to find something that could get me going and forget about everything else almost immediately. I eventually decided what song to start off with first started playing You're Gonna Go Far, Kid and found that I had made the right choice. My music selection may be weird and the effects it has on me make no sense to others, but that was why I called it My Music whenever anyone asked what I was listening to, because zero fucks were, and are, given whenever I plugged in my headphones. Sitting here listening to my 'Make Me Happy' playlist, I was able to finally relax and enjoy this time to myself in fact it was making me sleepy. Moments before I could doze off while listening to my music I started to feel something prodding at my chest. My sleepiness was expelled immediately and I opened my eyes to see a happy Lily standing on my stomach with her tail wagging behind her.

With Lily now awake, and me in a better mood, I decided to have a little with her as I stared at her for a moment longer before closing my eyes to pretend I was going to try and get some sleep. She obviously didn't like that as she started to poke my chest again but gradually turned from that, to hitting, and then to headbutting my sides and get me to roll over as I persisted and being stubborn about this. Lily eventually learned that I had my headphones in my ears and proceeded to take the right one out and scream in my ear. Let me tell you something, a changeling filly screams are not pleasant, just take the sound of hundreds of thousands of kids squeaking their shoes on tile, then times that by about a thousand.......yeah...not pleasant. After having the ringing in my ears subside I looked at the filly who was looking quite pleased with herself, or at least she did until she saw the evil smile come across my face. She started backing away towards the door as I took a step forward, and another, and another, until her rump hit the door and she tried to make her escape.

I allowed her to get the door open and run before deciding to give chase. I ran on all fours just to give her a fair chance but still managed to catch up a few times only to pull back after swiping at her and 'missing' before do it again. This went on for awhile and it didn't seem like she was wanting to stop anytime soon but after turning the corner to another hallway I stopped as I spotted Chrysalis heading our way. Luckily she hadn't noticed me yet thanks to her advisors hounding over her and I was able to make myself scarce. I wasn't worried much about Lily as she seemed to be heading towards her anyway, probably to use her to get rid of the monster that was chasing her so Lily would think it was part of the game when she would see I wasn't there.

"Queen, Queen help me, the ticklemonster is chasing me." I heard Lily say from my hiding spot on a rafter that hung from the ceiling.

Chrysalis let out a chuckle before saying anything. "Well I would to dear but I don't any ticklemonster. Do you know where it went, maybe I could send some guards to go capture it." Chrysalis said with a hint of malice in her voice and I knew it was directed towards me.

"It was right behind me when I last checked maybe I lost him I didn't know." Lily replied, not aware of the tone in her voice.

"I thought so, I knew she was still pissed. Looks like she's going to be avoided as long as I stay here." I said to myself making sure they couldn't hear me.

"Well if you do find it, try to trap it or find one the guards they'll help you with him." She.....really wasn't joking with this is she.

"Okay Queen I will." Chrysalis patted her on the head before she and her entourage started walking off. Once they turned right, and went down the hallway opposite from the one we came from, I jumped and stared at where she went for a moment longer before turning around and headed for exit that led back outside. I went into something of a mini depression thinking about how serious Chrysalis and hadn't noticed when Lily ran to my side. I got a glimpse of her out of my peripheral vision and she looked like she was going to ask why I wasn't playing anymore but closed her mouth when she saw my expression. "Daddy are you okay? Are you mad at me for going to the Queen? I'm really sorry if you are."

Lucky Lily, she doesn't have a clue what's going on and is blaming herself for the action of others. "No Lily I'm not mad you, you didn't anything wrong. I'm just.......... sad is all." Understating it there but she didn't need to know, especially I know children and saying that you're sad is enough to get them to want to try and cheer you up.

"Why are you sad daddy?" Lily asked now concerned for my happiness.

"I don't think the queen wants me here anymore sweetie." I answered truthly.

"But why not, you are really nice daddy and so is she, why would the queen want you to leave?" I wasn't going to tell her seeing how she might not understand any way so I just kept quiet and continued walking. I think she understood that and didn't say anything and leaned up against my leg as we walked towards the exit that was up ahead. We got out and I noticed immediately that night had fallen, guest I haven't bothered checking the time on my phone at all today. I wasn't going to leave the safety of the walls as I didn't want to put Lily in any danger but I wanted her by my side as she is the only thing that could bring my happiness back now.

I found a bench for us to sit on and looked towards the moon as it was something else to ease my thoughts from the negatives of the day and focused on the positives. Lily snuggled up against me as she laid beside me which was when I noticed she was shivering. I took off my jacket and draped in over her before bringing her over to sit on my lap to keep her warm. She seemed to be enjoying it out here as much as I was despite the cold breeze so I wasn't going to take her back yet though I had to be careful to make sir she didn't get sick.

We stayed out for about ten minutes or so before I decided to head back in and get Lily to her bed. She was already asleep as I carefully picked her up so as not to wake her. Guess it's a good thing that changelings feed on love so I didn't have to worry about her going to bed hungry otherwise I'd feel terrible about it and probably beat myself up for awhile afterwards. Before I entered the main part of the Hive I took one last look at the moon for tonight with one last thought to go with it.

Why must I live this cursed life? Did I do something in my past lives to inherit this?