Dream of the Doughnut Fiend

by aeppel

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1446

Celestia gets some doughnuts from Pony Joe, and absolutely nothing weird happens.

Celestia decides to visit her favorite Canterlot bakery, Pony Joe's. Pony Joe has a completely ordinary time without anything strange happening, and everything is lovely. No disasters happen, and there are definitely no confusing events.

Published 2015-01-17 17:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-17 17:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

The ringing of a small bell interrupted the silence in the small corner shop. The proprietor, looking up from wiping down the counter, smiled.

“Hello and welcome to Pony Joe's Doughnuts! Oh---! Your highness.”

Swooping low, Pony Joe grinned up at the stately mare standing before him with her own amused but controlled smile.

“Thank you for the greeting, my little pony, but you know I prefer to converse on more equal terms. I think I have been here enough times that a simple hello should suffice.”

Joe, straightening up and stepping behind the glass-fronted section of the counter filled with his wares, nodded amicably.

“Of course I know, princess. I just enjoy the routine. So what would you like this time?”

Poring over the baked goods, Celestia sighed. “All my subjects are either overly subservient or enjoy pretending to be. I suppose I do prefer the latter. And I think this time I will have one malt and alfalfa, and one honey and wheatgrass.”

“Oh, going for some of my experimental flavors? I warn you, some of the new combinations I've tried have not been my best.” Joe lifted the back of the case.

Celestia laughed lightly, levitating several bits over the counter. “When you have tried as many flavors as I have, even the bad ones are a refreshing change.”

Passing the bag of doughnuts over the counter, Joe deposited her payment into the till with a clink. “Of course. Sometimes I forget how many doughnut places you must have graced before mine.”

“Are you implying I eat too many doughnuts?”

Before Joe could respond, they both heard a faint shattering sound outside the shop. There was a pause, and then screams.

Celestia immediately leapt towards the entrance, her horn already sparking with energy. Her wings half unfurled, she shouldered her way out of the shop with Joe just behind her.

“Stay behind me.” She looked up and down the street for the source of the commotion before a dark form slammed into her shoulder, sending her hooves skidding back several feet. She stumbled heavily but remained standing, gasping from the impact. The dark blur that had struck her stepped back a moment and stood tall, laughing. Joe gasped.

“So we meet again, Celestia.”

“Queen Chrysalis.”

“This time I won't let your precious ponies win, Princess.” Chrysalis sent a bolt of magic at Celestia, who countered with her own attack.

“And I won't let you get the best of me this time, Chrysalis.” Sparks flew as the two faced off. Joe looked on in awe and fear.

Suddenly, a hoof tapped Joe's shoulder, and he turned around to come face to face with the fangs of a snarling changeling.

“Sleeping on the job again?”

A gasp. A hiss. A swear.

A changeling, who had been sleeping on the floor of a formerly quiet chamber with a battle long over, kicked at his compatriot.

“I was sleeping because this task is boring! Leave me alone!” He hissed again.

“Hey, don't hiss at me. You know what the Queen would do to you if she found you instead of me.”

Backing down, the formerly sleeping changeling begrudgingly agreed. After a pause, he shook his head. “I had the strangest dream though. Never had anything like it.”

“What, been feeding on the ponies without permission again? Had a little vision of their memories?”

Although he looked away guiltily, the changeling tried to act innocent. “No, nothing like the kinds of visions you get when you feed too long. It's like I actually was one of the ponies. It felt real. In the dream, it was like I had his memories. Actually...”

The changeling walked over to the other side of the chamber, looking up at a long cluster of cocoons dangling from the ceiling. “It was...that guy. Right there. I would recognize him anywhere, now. That's how vivid it was.”

With concern, his companion walked abreast of him, also looking up. “I don't recognize him. Of course, he looks just like all the other ponies to me. I think you might need to check with one of the medics. You might have gotten a hit on your head by this guy in the battle or something.”

The affected changeling hissed back, “No, it's nothing like that! Think I wouldn't know whether I got hit in the head? This is something different. From what I remember, this pony was talking with their princess right before we attacked. Maybe it's important.”

“Yeah, suuuure. Hey, I'm going to head out for just a second, ok? I'll be back in a second. I'm definitely not getting a medic, ok?” The other changeling slipped out the door before the shouted objection could catch him.

Within the chamber, a rather confused and frustrated changeling trotted to stare out of the room's shattered windows at a conquered Canterlot and enjoy the rays of a beautiful sunset on the city's abandoned streets. He breathed deeply, smelling the acrid smoke from the last fires dying out in the post-battle destruction. Looking back briefly at the cocooned doughnut-maker floating listlessly in his prison, the changeling breathed a single word. “Joe...”

A faint boom sounded in the city far below. Putting his perforated forelegs on the window's sill, the changeling tore his attention from the baffling pony to a scene of destruction far below. It looked like the ponies were, impossibly, counter-attacking. He hadn't thought they had it in them. Taking a great leap from the window, he spread his wings and began buzzing down to help.

From nowhere the changeling was hit hard in the side by a grayish blur. Tumbling downward in a mess of hooves and holes, he landed hard in an alley, with the pony tumbling after him. He caught a glimpse of the pony, noticing that she was a pegasus. The shadows of many other pegasi streamed overhead. The ponies were going all-out in their attack.

Struggling to stand, the changeling was body-checked once again, collapsing to the ground. His assailant drew her hoof back, pausing to deliver a line before she delivered her strike.

“For the princess! For Equestria! For muffins!”

The changeling drew his head back as the hoof descended, promising to deliver a great blow to his head.

*Ding-a-ling-a-ling!*

The door to the quiet doughnut shop closed with a jingle and a tired-looking stallion tromped away, clutching a half-eaten doughnut. Pony Joe jerked his head up from the counter with a snort. Looking down at the small puddle of spit he had left while sleeping, he gave a disgruntled sigh and reached under the counter for a rag.

“Ugh, I never fall asleep on the job. What happened?” Joe mumbled to himself as he wiped down the counter. Looking out the front windows of the shop, he noticed it was early evening. His shop was completely empty, the last customer having just left. “How did I sleep until closing?”

Joe paused in his cleaning. “What did that dream even mean? Was I a....was I a changeling?” He stared for several long moments out the windows. “What the hay happened today?”

There was a faint shattering sound outside the shop. Joe paled. Then he heard the screams.

“No, no! That was just a dream! It can't actually be happening!”

Joe galloped outside the shop. Looking up, the ragged shadows of changelings buzzed overhead. Far down the street, a mare was dragged away by several of the monstrosities. Joe was panicking now. “No, this isn't real!”

A changeling came streaking down at Joe, who quickly reacted and delivered a great buck to its face. It crumpled in a heap. “No! I can't let this happen! This...this is all my fault!” Striking out, Joe began furiously tearing into the swarms of changelings that came to attack him. A pile of changelings began to form around him as he fought tirelessly.

“None of you are real! None of this is happening!”

Suddenly, Celestia appeared next to him, sweeping him up in a field of magic. She spread her great wings and took to the air, leaving Joe flailing next to her as they left a swarm of changelings behind.

Joe struggled furiously against the magical field as they left the mass of changelings far behind, ascending high above the city. Far below, the changelings were mere tiny specks swarming the glittering buildings of the city. “Princess Celestia! You have to let me go! I have to help! I must fight the changelings!”

Celestia looked at him solemnly, her face showing no trace of emotion.

“No, Joe. You are the changelings.”

And then Joe was a Changeling.

Author's Note