Marxius: Equestria

by Feedmeyourfluttershy

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 1468

Humans in this fic are from a universe me and my friends created for roleplays. A group of people, 4 recently married, are teleported to Equestria, due to a magical fluke, with everyone's favorite Twilight Sparkle to blame. Expect insanity.

A group of people, with special "talents", are transported to Equestria, and they are fucking pissed about it. Probably because it happened right in the middle of 4 of said people's weddings. This is based off a different, slightly technologically advanced Earth. It is still, however, 2015. An alien entity known as Marxius, a massive creature, sporting thousands of tentacles, glided past earth, defying physics, and grazed it while passing. This sent waves of radioactivity surging through the earth, and giving multiple people powers, and allowing new people to be birthed with said powers. These powers may range anywhere from nigh-omnipotence, to a measly pyrokinesis. Characters will be introduced in the first chapter, and a full description of them given.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-17 19:50:24 UTC

Welcome to Equestria

"You may kiss the bride," the man said, smiling, as the two couples kissed simultaneously, as Ellis and Chris watched. Two grooms, two best men. It was a double wedding after all.

Zzzzap!

The couples, and their respective best men were all held up by a purple bubble just before they were about to crash straight onto one Twilight Sparkle's favorite table. Twilight was relieved that she had spared her table from certain doom. Certain doom was bad.

5 minutes earlier

"Alright, Spike, I'm going to try casting a spell that'll summon the most dangerous creature on Equis, so we can study it. Okay?" Twilight said, rather chipper.

Spike raised a non-existant eyebrow, "Are you sure, Twilight? I mean, what if they turn out to be sentient, or, even worse, angry?" he asked.

Twilight dismissed the dragon's question with a wave of her hoof, "Relax, the spell I found should encase them in a bubble. As for being sentient...Erm, they probably wont be," she determined.

"I don't like this, Twi," Spike said, slightly cautious.

Twilight rolled her eyes "When do you ever like anything?"

Now

Ellis screamed, Hunter looked around, confused, Macy looked pissed, Chris was completely flabbergasted, Jace was too busy kissing Niella, and not noticing they weren't even standing any more, and Niella was doing the exact same thing as Jace.

Twilight raised an eyebrow "What...are they?" she asked.

Hunter replied, with a silky voice "We should be asking you the exact same thing. Jace, I think we may have all contracted your insanity, because that's a talking purple unicorn, and that's a purple bipedal lizard thing. You are all seeing the talking purple unicorn and purple bipedal lizard thing, right?" he asked.

Jace opened a single eye, and looked around. Niella got off Jace, and looked around. She was dressed in a black dress, Jace in a white tuxedo. Macy and Hunter were in a white dress, and black tuxedo respectively, as ritual dictated. So were Chris and Ellis. They were all dressed fairly simply, for tuxedos, except for Hunter and Ellis, who had spared no expense, and bought the finest of tuxedos, and even matching black satin gloves.

"You can talk?!" Twilight and Spike asked, at the same time.

"You're not really the most tactful mythological creatures, are you?" asked Niella.

Jace grumbled about them interrupting his and Niella's makeout session.

Ellis screamed. Again.

Chris poked at the bubble.

Hunter sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Macy did something useful, and asked, "Where the fuck are we, what the fuck are you, and why the fuck are we here?"

Twilight responded, after flinching due to the foul language "Planet Equis, continent Equus, in the country of Equestria, in the village of Ponyville, we're ponies, and you're here because I may have messed up a spell, and accidentally teleported you here. What are you, anyways? You look like humans, but humans don't exist."

The humans all shared a collective groan at such puns, and Jace responded in turn "Okay, it's our turn. We are in fact, humans, from Solar system Sol, planet Earth, no particular country, as most of us have different nationalities, and I would bet that the multiverse theory, is in fact true, and thus we have somehow been transported to this universe, and that leads me to the most important question of all. Do you have a place where me and Niella can continue our previous business?"

At that, all the humans, aside from Niella and Jace, introduced their palms to their faces, watched as they went on their first dates, got married, had kids, raised said brats, and then died at different intervals, as most couples do. Spike and Twilight were simply shocked. The latter instantly begin listing off speculations she had made, far too fast for anyone to understand.

Macy mouthed to Spike 'What's she saying?'

Spike shrugged, and mouthed back 'Just go with it. It'll be easier.'

"Could you maybe let us out of this bubble?" Ellis asked, snapping Twilight out of her rant.

"Erm, okay. Please don't hurt us," Twilight said, and gently set them down, the bubble dissipating. Hunter was not about to tell her he had a fuckton of firearms stashed in his jacket.

At that exact moment, the rest of the mane six slammed into the library.

"Twilight! We heard a commotion, so we dropped by tah see if you were hurt! What are these thangs? Are you alright?"

"Let me at 'em! I'll teach 'em a lesson!"

"Meep!"

''OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH! Do they want a party?!"

"Darling, are you alright? And just what are these hideous things?"

"Girls! Relax, I'm fine. I may have accidentally summoned them with a spell. They didn't hurt me, they seem pretty friendly. They claim to be humans!" Twilight interjected

"Humans? That's impossible! Humans died out centuries ago! Lemmi have a good look at their faces, sugarcube," Applejack said, and trotted over to them. She looked them in the eyes and asked, "Are ya'll fellas human?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

The party of six all looked at each other, and back at Applejack, and said, all at once "Yep."

Applejack raised her eyebrows, and turned back to the ponies "They ain't lyin', guys."

Pinkie gasped, and instantly appeared in front of the entourage "OHMIGOSH, REAL LIFE HUMANS! I need to throw you a 'Welcome to Equestria, Glad you're not fictional' party! Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!" Pinkie said, and hopped back to her friends.

"So, er, I'm guessing you don't have humans, here?" Niella asked, unfazed by the pink pony. She'd seen much, much stranger. None of them were in the least bit disturbed. New universe, new rules.

Twilight shook her head "Nope."

Dash flew over to Hunter, who she deemed the biggest threat, due to his height. "You wanna go buddy? Huh? Huh? Have somma' this! And a little o' that! And somma' that!" Hunter simply sighed, and pushed the over-eager pony away with one hand "While I'm playing with your friend here, would you mind giving me and my friends here an introduction?"

"S-sure!" Twilight stammered, and pulled Rainbow away from Hunter. "I'm Twilight Sparkle! That's Spike, my assistant. He's a dragon!"

"H-Hi," Spike waved shyly, terrified.

        "Hold up!" Ellis said, "A dragon? Isn't he a bit, y'know. Small?"

"He's a baby dragon," Twilight said, and continued "That's Rarity, she's the town's fashion designer."

"Pleased to meet you," Rarity interjected, smiling.

"The mare who just attacked you is Rainbow Dash,"

"Hmph!'' Rainbow said.

"That's Applejack, she's a farmer,"

"Howdy, y'all," she said, tipping her hat.

"The mare hiding behind her mane is Fluttershy, she takes care of animals,"

"M-meep!"

"And you've already met Pinkie. She's a party planner and a baker."

"Yepperooni!" Pinkie said, grinning widely.

"Er, right. I'm Hunter," Hunter said, and added "That's Jace, Macy, my wife, Niella, Jace's wife, Ellis, he's a loner, and Chris, who is also single," he said, motioning to each one as he named them. "Now, we all hate to intrude, but until we can get back to our world, we're going to need a place to stay," he said.

''Y'all can stay at mah barn," Applejack offered.

"You sure?" Chris asked, "Also, wouldn't we attract strange looks, and possibly a few attacks?"

"Just stick with me, and you'll be fine," Applejack said, albeit nervous at having to shelter these possibly dangerous humans.

The group shrugged, and motioned to Applejack to lead the way. All of them, barring Niella, had to stoop to get out the door. As they left, they heard Twilight squeal, "Oooh! I have to write a letter to the Princess! A new species!"

Ellis raised an eyebrow "Should we be worried?"

Applejack laughed ''Naw, Princess Celestia's right as rain. She wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I'll take your word for it," Ellis responded, as the group left.

They attracted many stares, murmurs, screams, and even a few instantaneous faints, on their way to the barn. They got there, however, without much trouble. Applejack opened the door, and said "Welp, this is mah barn."

They all shrugged, again, "We've slept in worse places," Ellis said, and walked in. They had all brought their cellphones, and Chris brought his lucky deck of cards. No one knew why he thought they were lucky, but they weren't about to deter him. They spent the time lazing away, playing cards, or entertaining themselves with the applications on their phones, until sometime late at night. They said their goodnights, and fell asleep, on the piles of hay. Chris chuckled "We are in a world full of mythological creatures. Yay, everyone!" he said, with false enthusiam. He heard a responding group of chuckles, and they closed their eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

They awoke the next morning, to a tree nearly crushing them.