Stutter me

by Liarra Sniffles

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1391

Twilight has created a magical board-game all about communication, nothing can go wrong.

Twilight has grown tired of pinkie's childish board-games, and strategic games like chess and battle-cloud are getting old fast, what with half her opponents cheating or generally lacking interest in a proper game.
Purple Smart was faced with an incredible lack of mentally challenging things to do with another pony, so she takes matters into her own hooves.

Using all of the resources (mostly books) available to her, Twilight has created the ultimate game that has a perfect mix of brains and Fun Physical Activity to be a hit with everypony.

Spike doesn't like it.

Published 2015-01-18 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-18 00:40:01 UTC

Did I...

"Dateline: Twilight's house. Time estimate: roughly an hour past midnight. Climate? A bit muggy perhaps, but what are we climbing?" Pinkie asked no-pony in particular, Applejack and Rainbow looked at each other and shared a shrug, just Pinkie being... well, Pinkie.

"So anyway Twi, show us your little game so we can get to the smores and... sleep," Rainbow said, muffling a yawn into AJ's hat, the tan mare tensing as she did but not objecting further than a glare.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight pulled a small, clear glass ball from a drawstring bag and rejoined the circle. "It's not just any game Dash, it's scientifically the most fun you can have while in such... mixed company as we are" she said, glancing at Pinkie and Applejack, who were having a 'hoofsies' war.

"Your egg-headedness-ness keeps getting more egg-headish Twi" Rainbow chewed her words like gum "How can you know that it is fun with your science, nobody has played it with you yet!"

Twilight gave a huff, "Spike seemed to enjoy it" A groan from upstairs caused her to pause, "And I played it with myself until I was sure it was perfect now lets-"

"That's all sounding quite.. exciting dear, but could you tell us how to actually play.. your.. ...game?" Rarity finished lamely, looking up from her hoof-file to be greeted by everypony staring at her strangely. "..Oops, sorry sweetie, please continue," she coughed, hiding the file behind her back, along with the magazines.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight cleared her throat to get the two earth ponies attention and adopted a serious expression. "Since you are all beginners, we will play with the simple rules, Pinkie can keep score," she pointed at the pink pony, who pulled an umpire's hat and 6 row abacus from somewhere and gave Twilight a smile. "Yes, so.. The game is relatively simple, each of us will take a turn holding this magical focus gem. The gem will proceed to beam a word into the holder's brain and you will no longer be able to say said word, only stutter the first letter-"

"You sure beamin' a word into our head is safe Twi?" Asked applejack, reaching to tilt her hat before remembering who it currently resided on.
Shooting Rainbow a squint for good measure, she looked back to Twilight who let out a sigh.

"I just said that I have been playing this almost non-stop for the last twenty hours, yes it's safe," Twilight gave everpony a glare as some of her hair curled up. "As you can see, I am completely fine! Any more questions?" Twilight gave Rainbow a withering look when she shifted to raise her hoof.

Lowering her hoof, Rainbow stuttered "N-no Twi."

Twilight made herself comfortable again. "Good, now... Each pony will take a turn with the ball, the goal being to get somepony else in the game to guess the correct word, if somepony guesses correctly, they get a point. If nopony can guess your word you lose a point, whomever has the most points at the end wins."

"So it's like charades!" Pinkie burst, seemingly pumped.

"Kinda, but if you have to resort to miming the action you are required to do a small dare, which will be voted for by the group, majority vote of course. You won't lose anything for miming if you can still get somepony to guess correctly, we will each have exactly four minutes and fourteen seconds to convey our word across, I put some real doozies in that thing." Twilight finished with a smile. "Oh, and you can only tell us what it rhymes with in the last fourteen seconds," She added.

Grabbing the ball from Twilight, Dash put on her cocky grin. "Alright Twi, let's see how fast I can get you to guess-"

Saltwater Trout

"Wh-whoa! That was... weird. It's like somepony spoke in my head but it didn't sound like.. sound?" Rainbow stared into the ball before Pinkie tapped her. "Oh! Right, hmm it's a fish," Rainbow stated, looking proud of herself.

"What kind, dummy," AJ said, a smile on her lips.

"Oh, it's a t-t-t-taah! I can't say it, it really worked!" Rainbow stuttered, flustered she hurried to think of a way to explain it, seeing she had used over two minutes now.
"It's like, there's one in freshwater too, but this one is in saltwater apparently, they get about... this big," she held her hooves apart for the others to see.

"Bass, salmon, eel?" Fluttershy asked, coming out from her sleeping bag as she took more interest in the game.

"No, nu-uh, nope," Dash responded. "Hmm, shoot! Only a minute left already?" Dash panicked, looking around the room for inspiration, not seeing anything of use until she spotted her own mane. "Of course! There is type that is named after its rainbow colours!" She exclaimed.

"Ah got it," Applejack said, "is it a rainbow trout?"

"No, it's a salt water trout!" Exclaimed Twilight, just as Pinkie's timer went off. Pinkie stops it and looks expectantly at rainbow who points at Twilight. "Yes! sorry AJ, but Twilight gets a point."

"Rats," Applejack mutters. "Next time Twi."

"One to you Twilight!" Pinkie chirps from the corner, flicking a bead across and giggling at Dash's pun.

Time Passes

"What do you mean, did I really mime the hair-curl as I explained it!" Cries rarity, realising her mistake too late.

"I'm afraid so Rarity" mumbled Fluttershy gently, her eyes drooping.

"I vote you go kiss spike!" cries Dash, a grin on her muzzle.

"I second and Applejack thirds that Rares" Pinkie explains like a judge, albeit a very happy one, sentencing somepony to jail. Applejack just nods slightly.

Rarity sighs in defeat and heads upstairs to where spike is sleeping, the silence in the main room makes it foalsplay to hear spike hurriedly getting up with his usual stuttered greeting. A loud smooching sound drifts down the stairs and a spike sized thump follows shortly after.
After another minute, a red-faced Rarity comes back down the stairs and clambers into her sleeping bag without a word, lying down properly to sleep, snuggled beside Fluttershy's bag.

Rainbow and Applejack are unable to fully muffle their laughter, Twilight giving a small smile while Pinkie doubles over in a silent stream of laughter.

Time Passes

Everypony but Twilight, Applejack and pinkie have fallen asleep by now, the hour is very late but Twilight and Applejack seem locked in a never ending draw.

"I'm out of abacuses!" Cries Pinkie, her head sticking out of a large pile of the mathematical devices. "I'm down to my last hoof too!".

Twilight and Applejack share a determined stare, neither pony quite willing to back down from the game, their turns taking barely a minute each as they quickfire question after question at each other in an attempt to best their opponent.

"Fourteen extra correct plus thirty something and, no you won those three but Applejack mimed that one so she had to, but then Twilight accidentally, when AJ forgot that, and, and I give up!" Pinkie quietly yelled, half crying half laughing as she passes out on the pile of beads and wood.

"Alright, We'll call it a draw" Spike sighs, as he makes his way down to the kitchen for a late breakfast, the two ponies only just now realising how long they have been at it.

Twilight mirrors his sigh then unleashes a huge yawn, causing Applejack to yawn as well. "yes, lets call it a draw AJ, I need some sleeee-"
Twilight doesn't finish her sentence, instead opting to pass out in Applejack's hooves, the farm mare barely slowing her down before passing out with her.

Spike stares at the room, Rarity and Fluttershy asleep together in their sleeping bags, Rainbow asleep in the vague vicinity of her bag, Pinkie asleep on a huge pile of beads and stuff, beads going everywhere, while Twilight and Applejack lie in a somewhat humorous position together on the floor. He knows who is going to have to clean this up, so he decides to get some ice-cream.

Author's Note

"cute little one-shot" my ass.

Edit 2017: Ugh, I really should go back over this at some point, make it into a proper length one shot instead of this. But not today!