The Infestation

by Shellybox

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 2354

Hitman in equestria, ends up in many weird situations.

Johnathan was transported into Equestria to be an assassin for Nightmare Moon, but after she was defeated, what would John do?
Follow the twisted tale of John and his various adventures in "The Infestation"

HiE fic. Not self insert. Gryphons as well as ponies.

Hitman in Equestria, weird and violent. There will be sex of all varieties, and crude and detailed descriptions of gore. (There will be blood).

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-24 11:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1

The Infestation

     Hello. My name is Jonathan, but most people don't know me by that name.  I'm more commonly known as "Creeping death".  Now, I have another name.  A name that strikes fear, and forces out others hatred. The name that causes complete and total chaos. This name also causes happiness, good memories, and lastly, the biggest one, Love.

     This name was originally a false name, but it grew on to me.  Not very many people know my actual name, or the story behind my fake name.

      My fake name is Francisco.  Now I know you're thinking, "He could have chosen any name that has ever existed, but he chose Francisco?!??!". Don't judge, I have my reasons.  Now that this stuff has been cleared up, let's get on with the story.  After all, that's what you came here for, right?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

     "God fucking dammit." I said disappointedly in a quiet,, staring at the alarm clock that read "5:29".  " I woke up one fucking minute before my ala-"

*BEEP*  *BEEP* *BEEP*

     I groaned as I had to get out of bed, throwing the covers off of my body. I don't think it has to be said I hate mornings.

   "People shouldn't have to get anywhere before 7 o fucking clock!"  I screamed into my empty apartment, letting all of the dust particles around me contemplate my opinion.  I could tell, no, I could feel the hundreds of motherfucking dust particles  judge me.

    The showerhead sprayed its cold water down in the shower.  I stripped of all of my clothes and jump in, literally, after the water warmed up.

*Sigh*

     I relaxed my tense muscles as I let the warm water cascade over my barely toned body. I was a little bit better than in shape.

     Hey dude, I can be as lazy as I want.  You can't judge.

  I grabbed the soap in my right hand.  It slipped.

     You couldn't explain the agony that went through my mind.

     Oh wait, you could, it fucking sucked.

     I bent over, hoping I wouldn't get raped by some magic rapist that magically appeared in my house.  Gladly I picked up the soap without getting a surprise prostate exam.

     The soap now in my hand, I ran it all over my arms and legs, trying to cleanse myself after what I did last night.  I soaped the rest of my body and I shampooed my long gorgeous hair.

      Red flowed from the front of my body, down my leg, and into the drain.

     This hair of mine could make Jesus cry tears hot enough to ignite a fucking rock.  I was always very proud of my hair.  I rinsed myself off and got out of the shower.  I rushed to grab the towel.  My savior from the cold wrapped itself around me as I stood, leaned over the sink.  I randomly just shook my head, like a dog.  I got everything wet.  All over the mirror.  I didn't want to clean it up, I left it for when I got back home tonite.

     I dried my hair and brushed my teeth.  Yes I brush my teeth naked.  I walk back to my bedroom, hunched over, trying to contain myself as much as possible in the towel.

     I opened my closet to find clothes I had already put in a nice neat pile for today.  I grabbed them and set them on my bed.

      I got dressed.  I grabbed my butterfly knife that was sitting on my nightstand.  I try to flick it open, but cut myself on the back of the pointer finger.

     "Ouch.". I rushed myself back to the bathroom to bandage myself up.

     I cleaned and bandaged up my tiny cut and said, "So it's gonna be one of those days,"

I had not even the simplest fucking clue.

So I placed the knife in the holster on my belt, grabbed my jacket and looked at the time.

    "6:20.  Yay, I actually have time." I blabbered unenthusiastically to myself.

     I made myself toast with eggs and bacon.  I couldn't tell you how much I would come to miss bacon in the next coming months.  If I would have known at that moment that that was the last time in 2 years I would have eaten bacon, I would have savored it much more. Darn Vegetarian ponies with their stupid tofu.

     Deciding it was time to leave, I threw on my canvas jacket and shoved an m9 Beretta in my inside pocket along with a silencer.  The gun was unloaded, of course.  I shoved a magazine of ammo in each of my jean pockets and walked out the door.

Did I not tell you?

I work as a hitman.  It is a job I don't love, but I also don't hate.  It pays bills.

     My job is dangerous.  So dangerous I sleep with a loaded gun underneath my pillow.

I shoved a lighter in my front right pants pocket.  I don't smoke.

As I walked out my front door, what I found wasn't the hallway leading outside.  What I found was complete darkness.  Cold.  And a feeling of falling.  I couldn't comprehend what was happening accept for the fact that I was losing consciousness.

I was out faster than a bad motherfucker who just met justice.

____________________________________________________________________________

 "Get up."

     Not, "Oh my gosh, I hope he's okay!" or "Gee, I hope he didn't get hurt!". That hurt mentally, not to mention the absolutely terrible physical pain I was in.

     "God dammit let me sleep!" I had practically shouted at the voice, head throbbing in pain.

     "Thou hast a vulgar vocabulary." That just made it worse.  "Art thou fit to stand up?" Okay, this person talking to me was obviously a female, but sounded... Noble.

     So I stood up.  I rubbed my eyes and stared at where I thought the voice was coming from. There was a dark blue/black horse with long and majestic hair sitting at a table with a chair on either side.  The room was magnificent.  It was made of stone, and it was midnight blue.  There was a bed in the center of the room.  To the left was a door to the bathroom, to the right was the horse with the table on it, and in the middle was a giant blue rug that looked like it had stars on it.  It looked as though it was night time judging from the windows on either side of the bed.

     "Thou hast not given me an answer, but I will accept your standing up as one, come, sit and converse," Clearly not understanding anything that was going on, I walked over to the pony at the table and sat on the opposite side of her.

      "Question one, where am I and why does my head hurt??!?" I spewed rudely out of my mouth.

     "Thou art in my room in the royal palace." Oh, so I wasn't just talking to a talking horse, it was a royal talking horse, that made me feel so much better.

     "So who does this palace of magnificent proportions belong to?"

     "Nightmare Moon."

Well shit.  I thought to myself, If her name is Nightmare Moon, then I'm screwed no matter what I do, I mean come on! Her name literally has the word "Nightmare" in it!.

"Then I think I'll be taking this opportunity to leave, if that is okay with you."  I said, getting out of my chair.

     To which the dark horse replied, "No, sit, please, we need to talk."

     "Nope, I'm out."

     I was beginning to think the dark horse didn't like me.

     "No, please sit down"  She took this moment to use magic to force me back into my seat.  "You are the guest in my palace... What kind of ruler would I be without offering tea to my loyal subjects?"

     I have to admit, I was very scared.  Even with all the situations I've been in.  I was forced to grab a teacup and take a sip.

     "See, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

     It was pretty bad tea, but after that, I wasn't gonna push my luck.  I was assuming that I was almost out anyway.

     "Now, I have heard and seen that you are very dangerous."  The dark horse said, abruptly changing the subject.

     "What do you mean?"

     "I mean to say, you have killed many and the law isn't on your side."  Oh, she knew about my job, even though I'm sure we were from different dimensions,  I wasn't gonna ask how.

     "This is true, I do kill people for a job."  I was starting to get freaked out a bit by her.

     "Good, because I require your services."  Great, now I have a talking horse as an employer.

     "Its ten grand a head."

     "No, it isn't, you will live here for free and be one of the nobles, but no one must know about you," she stood up, " I have already prepared your room, and I will lead you to it myself."

     I was genuinely scared as to what would happen if I didn't comply, so I stood up as well.

     "Come, we have much to talk about." "I hope I didn't kill it!"

     Not, "Oh my gosh, I hope he's okay!" or "Gee, I hope he didn't get hurt!". It hurt.

     It wasn't the killing part that ticked me off, it was the fact that she said "it".  That hurt mentally, not to mention the absolutely terrible physical pain I was in.

     "God dammit let me sleep!" I had practically shouted at the voice, head throbbing in pain.

     "Thou hast a vulgar vocabulary." That just made it worse.  "Art thou fit to stand up?" Okay, this person talking to me was obviously a female, but sounded... Noble.

     So I stood up.  I rubbed my eyes and stared at where I thought the voice was coming from. There was a dark blue/black horse with long and majestic hair sitting at a table with a chair on either side.  The room was magnificent.  It was made of stone, and it was midnight blue.  There was a bed in the center of the room.  To the left was a door to the bathroom, to the right was the horse with the table on it, and in the middle was a giant blue rug that looked like it had stars on it.  It looked as though it was night time judging from the windows on either side of the bed.

     "Thou hast not given me an answer, but I will accept your standing up as one, come, sit and converse," Clearly not understanding anything that was going on, I walked over to the pony at the table and sat on the opposite side of her.

      "Question one, where am I and why does my head hurt??!?" I spewed rudely out of my mouth.

     "Thou art in my room in the royal palace." Oh, so I wasn't just talking to a talking horse, it was a royal talking horse, that made me feel so much better.

     "So who does this palace of magnificent proportions belong to?"

     "Nightmare Moon."

Well shit.  I thought to myself, If her name is Nightmare Moon, then I'm screwed no matter what I do, I mean come on! Her name literally has the word "Nightmare" in it!.

"Then I think I'll be taking this opportunity to leave, if that is okay with you."  I said, getting out of my chair.

     To which the dark horse replied, "No, sit, please, we need to talk."

     "Nope, I'm out."

     I was beginning to think the dark horse didn't like me.

     "No, please sit down"  She took this moment to use magic to force me back into my seat.  "You are the guest in my palace... What kind of ruler would I be without offering tea to my loyal subjects?"

     I have to admit, I was very scared.  Even with all the situations I've been in.  I was forced to grab a teacup and take a sip.

     "See, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

     It was pretty bad tea, but after that, I wasn't gonna push my luck.  I was assuming that I was almost out anyway.

     "Now, I have heard and seen that you are very dangerous."  The dark horse said, abruptly changing the subject.

     "What do you mean?"

     "I mean to say, you have killed many and the law isn't on your side."  Oh, she knew about my job, even though I'm sure we were from different dimensions,  I wasn't gonna ask how.

     "This is true, I do kill people for a job."  I was starting to get freaked out a bit by her.

     "Good, because I require your services."  Great, now I have a talking horse as an employer.

     "Its ten grand a head."

     "No, it isn't, you will live here for free and be one of the nobles, but no one must know about you," she stood up, " I have already prepared your room, and I will lead you to it myself."

     I was genuinely scared as to what would happen if I didn't comply, so I stood up as well.

     "Come, we have much to talk about."