I Just Came to Say Goodbye...
It was late at night when I heard a noise ring throughout my house. It was probably like...1:00-1:30. I was peacefully sleeping in my bed when the intoxicating noise known as a doorbell rang through my house, rising me from my slumber. I yawned, throwing my covers off and stumbling out of bed. I wondered who was even at my door at this time of night. I opened the door to my room, took a left down the hall, groggily walked through my living room, and ended up at the door. I tried to blink and rub the sleep from my eyes, before opening the door. Didn't want to look like a complete wreck in front of...whoever was out there. The doorbell rang again. I groaned before blinking a couple more times and looking through the peeking hole in the door. I couldn't see anything so I turned on my porch light. I looked back through the hole and saw my best friend from forever. I quickly unlocked the door and opened it letting the mare in. As she walked inside I noticed that it was raining outside.
"Fluttershy? What are you doing here? And your soaked!" I exclaimed rushing to grab a blanket for the soaking mare. I grabbed one from the couch and wrapped it around her, but she quickly shook it off. She just stood there, hanging her head. I noticed that I left the door open, allowing cold air to flow inside, making me and Fluttershy colder. I wasted no time shutting the door and locking it again.
"Fluttershy? What wrong?" I asked coming closer, intensely studying her body language. As I studied her my eyes wandered down to her hooves. They had cuts...and blood...and the cuts were fresh. Blood leaked out of them, soaking into my cloud floor, but I didn't care. On one hoof the word 'why' was carved into her lower leg, and on the other, 'Klutzershy'. All I could do was stare at her bloodied hooves in shock. I shook my head before struggling to get some words out
"F-Flutters! Wh- did y-you cut y-yourself?! W-why?!" I was starting to freak out. She finally looked up at me with teary eyes. It pained me to see her like this. Her eyes were red from crying I guessed, and she had tears still in her eyes. Her cheeks were tear stained, though it was kinda hard to tell because of how soaked she was.
"I...I just came to s-say goodbye..." She whispered. I didn't know exactly what she meant but I had a feeling about what she was meaning.
"What...do you...mean?" I asked hesitantly.
"I-...I'm leaving...f-forever..." She whispered again, a fresh tear falling from her eyes as she looked back down. I knew it now. The moment I heard her say that sentence my stomach knotted, and I lost my voice for a while. I shut my eyes to clear my thoughts, but that didn't help. I opened my eyes and rushed to her side.
"W-what!?! You can't!" I practically screamed. Tears started welling in my eyes. How could she even think about this! Fluttershy. The most gentle of ponies. I wondered what drove her to want to do this.
"D-Dash please...you have t-to let me do t-this...the pain i-is to much to handle...n-nobody is every t-there for me..." She sighed.
"What?! You know I'm here for you!" I embraced her in a hug, but she just pushed me away. That hurt me a lot. For a moment I wondered if she was drunk but I quickly dismissed the thought. Fluttershy lightly chuckled at my last words. And hid behind her mane. She sniffled.
"No your n-not..." She muttered defensively. "I...I've been in pain f-for so long now..." She took a deep breath, while I just listened. "You...and Twilight...and R-Rarity and Applejack...and P-Pinkie...you always s-say that you are there f-for me...but w-when I need you m-most...your not there." She sniffed and looked away.
"Fluttershy..." I whispered.
I tried to face her again but she kept hiding her face from me. " Don't. She planted those words firmly which took me by surprise. "I'm s-so alone...in t-this world...and I won't l-let the pain go on and w-win. You d-don't know what I'm g-going through and I don't e-expect you to. I-I just need y-you to support my decision...n-no matter what it is." She stopped, I guess waiting for an answer from me.
But I was so shocked, I couldn't move. My stomach felt as if it was being squeezed and twisted. A tear fell down my eye. I made myself believe that this was my fault. I mean she said it herself. And that felt like a dagger to my heart. Knowing that she is doing this because I wasn't there for her. I just stared at the floor. My thought were all jumbled and I couldn't think straight. I mean my best friend is saying that she is gonna kill herself. How would you react? When I tried to speak, the words got jammed in my throat. More tears dripped down my face and onto the cloud below me.
"F-Flutters...I-I...I'm s-so...sorry..." I finally managed to choke out. "I-I didn't k-know...y-you always seemed s-so happy..."
She took a deep breath and sighed, sniffling again. "I know...I hid my emotions very well, but if anypony even bothered to ask me how I was feeling...maybe I wouldn't be here now...maybe if a-anypony took a minuet t-to really see how I-I was feeling and if they could've seen my pain and tried to do s-something." She took another deep breath and looked at me. I looked up at her and our eyes met. A minuet passed with silence, before tears formed in Fluttershy's eyes. "But nopony did. It was like I was invisible..."
Celestia that made me feel so much worse. I needed to stop her. To help her. But how could I if I didn't even know what was going on with her. I decided to try and ask her what was wrong.
"W-well...I'm listening now...and I will listen for as long as it takes to change your mind about...s-suicide. Talk to me..." I practically begged. Se stayed silent for a while, but I held onto that one little speck of hope. The hope that she might change her mind. The hope that she wouldn't put me and everypony else in Equestria through the great pain she was forcing onto me right now. Not knowing if she was gonna kill herself or not killed me inside. After what seemed like eternity she looked at me. She shifted on her hooves, clearly thinking. I just waited. I couldn't rush her.
"I-...It all started...way back...back in flight school." I was so relieved when she said that first sentence. She decided to talk to me. "W-when those bullies...started t-to bully me...nopony would stand up for me...they would just laugh along with the bullies...i-it hurt so b-bad...and I didn't know anypony there...but that's only a small part of it..." I had no idea she was still so upset about flight school. "But another part is my parents...I still think about them...so much. Every night I think about them...how they died...Another thing is how I'm teased still...about being so scared of everything...and for being so cautious...and for having animals as friends..." She sighed, took a deep breath, and sat down on the floor.
"And all of this is because I'm not who ponies think I should be? If being me is why I get bullied, then why be alive?" She asked me.
"Because...you have a plan...a-a purpose in this world...you wouldn't be here if you didn't have a purpose..." I tried to explain.
"But what if I was a mistake...that's what the ponies at flight school would say..." She sniffed as a tear fell from her right eye. "Am I mistake Dash?" She asked more tears falling from her eyes. Those words felt like a sword to my heart. How could she even think that!
"No! You not mistake!" I ran over to her and wrapped a wing around her. I expected her to push it away...but she didn't. Tears were now openly falling from my eyes. "Don't come up with a permanent solution for a temporary problem..." I whispered to her.
"But this isn't a temporary problem...it's been going on since flight school..." She cried out quietly. " I've b-been alone for so long n-now...night after n-night...I just n-need somepony t-to notice m-me..." She choked out through sobs.
"I do now...And this is the last night you'll spend alone..." I wrapped her into a close embrace as she cried into my coat. I wraped her in my hooves and draped my wings over her. I had no intention of letting her go anytime soon.
"T-thank...y-you...Dashie..."
Author's Note
Hey hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading! If you cry give this story a like! Or just give it a like because you liked it.
