What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Thwap! It was the newspaper colt dropping off the daily paper. Mike Schmidt trotted over to the door and opened it. grabbing the paper in his teeth. He sat in his lounge chair and started scanning it for any job opportunities as a night watchpony somewhere, when he noticed a peculiar looking ad. He leaned in closer to read it. "Help Wanted! Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes. New security guard needed to work the nightshift at Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes from 12 am to 6 am to ensure safety of the restaurant and the ponymatronics. Come be a part of the Fazpie family today!! 150 bits a week. For more info contact: 1-800-FAZ-FAZPIE. Hmmph." That wasn't a lot of pay. But he had to take what he could get. Nopony wanted any night guards these days, there was hardly ever any crime.
Mike used to go there as a colt, until his mother had stopped taking him there for some weird reason. Maybe working there would stir up some good memories. He recognized the face of Pinkie Fazpie on the ad, her eyes open in a wide, slightly unnerving stare. Mike could've sworn the pink party pony was looking at him. It gave him the shivers. He circled the ad with a red marker, tucked it in his saddlebag, and started to walk over to Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes.
Upon arriving to the restaurant he noticed it wasn't as....high-quality as he had remembered it. The sign was missing a few letters and it spelled 'P nkie azpie up akes'. Mike pushed open the double-doors and walked in. The place was vacant except for a couple employees closing up for the day. Mike cleared his throat, walked up to one of the workers, who was sweeping the floor,and asked," Hey, where is the manager around here?" The worker pony stopped what she was doing and stared for a moment before answering.
"Oh, the boss? He's not here, but his assistant is. Just go straight and you'll see a sign on the wall. Follow it." Mike walked in the direction he was told when he heard the mare say something to him.
"You really shouldn't have come here dude."
Mike gulped. Those words sent chills through his spine. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a threat? A warning? She didn't sound hostile. He turned around only to find the mare exiting the building. He started to have second thoughts about working at the restaurant when he saw what he believed to be the assistant manager.
"Excuse me sir? You wouldn't happen to be the assistant manager would you?" The stallion looked at Mike and nodded. "Good. I would like to sign up to be the new security guard working the night shift."
The stallion's eyes opened wide in what looked like pure horror and pity."Um, are you sure you don't want a different shift? The night shift can be quite dangerous." The stallion seemed to be pleading with him.
"Yeah, I'm sure. It's kind of my thing," Mike pointed at his cutiemark, a crescent moon that seemed to be cradling a watch. The assistant manager looked defeated.
"Very well. You've got the job. Sign here." The assistant manger pulled out a clipboard and pen from his saddlebag using his magic, and hovered it in front of Mike. Mike took the pen and signed the paper. "Come back at 11:30 pm," said the assistant with a hint of sadness and regret in his voice,"I'll be here with your keys and uniform."
Hours later, after Princess Celestia had set the sun and Luna's full moon hung in the sky, Mike reluctantly traveled back to Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes where the assistant manager was waiting. Mike shivered at the sight of the run-down restaurant and quietly scolded himself. He wasn't scared. He never was. He didn't get his cutiemark for nothing. Besides, what could possibly go wrong?
This Can't Be Real. Right?
Mike waved good-bye to the assistant manager, who he learned was named Farley Fellow, (a pretty generic name if you ask Mike), and settled into his office. Farley was a real nice guy, but he did seem oddly...sympathetic for some reason. He told Mike to never EVER leave his office, no matter what the circumstances may be. When Mike asked if he could leave his office if there was an intruder, Farley said to not worry, and that nopony would dream of breaking into the place. Even if they did Mike had the emergency doors, and the windows were bullet-proof. Before he left he said that the previous night watchpony had left a message on the phone that would play automatically at 12 am and should explain just about everything to him.
Mike glanced at his watch. It was only 11:50 so Mike passed the time by walking around a bit, checking for anything suspicious, like he always did when he was early, before all the lights went out at 12:00 due to the company's low-budget. He wouldn't have to worry about running out of power. There wasn't anything electric he could use except the emergency doors, the door lights, his office light, and the small fan on his desk. He'd probably only be using the office light and fan which didn't use too much, if really any, power. Mike arrived in front of the main stage and looked at the three ponymatronics. There they were the same old mares from his foalhood. Twilight, Fluttershy, and the main attraction, Pinkie Fazpie. They stood silently, Twilight Sparkle with her electric guitar around her shoulders, Fluttershy holding a pink cupcake with eyes in one hoof, and Pinkie holding a microphone near her mouth.
Mike walked around some more, when a smaller stage, with a purple curtain adorned with stars, caught his attention. If he remembered correctly, it was called Pegasus Cove and there was a blue Pegasus ponymatronic named Rainbow Dash. He remembered being disappointed when Rainbow Dash had been put up and used for scrap. There was a sign in front of the miniature stage that read 'Sorry! Out Of Order'. They took her away when she made a foal, too young to even be there cry. The mother of the child had insisted that she would sue if they didn't either get a new, less scary-looking ponymatronic, or at least get rid of her. Rainbow Dash had been in pretty bad shape after all, with her hind legs being bare and her mouth having some trouble opening and closing. He glanced at his watch which read 11:58.
"I should really get back to my office," Mike thought aloud. He remembered Farley mentioning something about being in his office before 12:00 AM.
Two minutes later, Mike sat in the swivel chair in his office and waited for the message to play. RING!RING!RING! Mike jumped a bit, then relaxed and leaned his ear towards the phone as the message began.
"Hello? Hello, hello? Umm, hey! And welcome to your new job at Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes, a place where fillies and foals can have fun! Well, before I tell you how to get through you first night, I've got some disclaimers that I'm required to tell you," the stallion cleared his throat and continued," Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes is not responsible for any injuries/dismemberment to ponies that may occur in our establishment. We are not required to inform the authorities about any mishaps until 48 hours after the incident, and before the entire facility has been thoroughly scrubbed and bleached and all carpeting has been replaced. Everpony, excluding the night watchpony, must leave the building upon closing time, for we can not be taken responsible for anything that happens to them during the night either, this includes the night watchpony. Okay, I know that might sound bad, but there's really nothing that you need to worry about. Anyway, you've probably noticed the ponymatronics standing on the main stage. Well, they tend to roam around a bit at night, you know, to keep their servos from locking up. You're not in any danger, no, I'm not implying that. Well, i guess the only hazard is that, umm, if you let the ponymatronics see you, they won't exactly recognize you as a pony, you see, due to the dim lighting, their facial scanners don't work as well, and they will probably identify you instead as a naked endoskeleton. And since being out of costume is against the rules here at Pinkie Fazpie's Cupcakes, they'll..... well. They'll probably try to forcefully stuff you into a Pinkie Fazpie suit. And since they're aren't any empty suits back there well.....you can imagine the discomfort. And death. It would bring. And we don't want to let that happen, now do we? But don't worry, you've got the emergency doors to keep them out. Just press the red button on the wall besides the doorway that says door, and the white button controls the door lights. You can use the lights to see if they're outside of your door. Make sure you check them frequently because you might only have a few seconds to react. Well, I think I've went over all you need to know for now. And don't forget there is a limited power supply so don't use your doors, lights, or cameras for too long, okay? I heard Pinkie Fazpie gets more active in pitch black darkness, and if I were you, I wouldn't want to find out if that was true or not. I'll let you go now, and good luck. Your'e really gonna need it"Click.
Mike's mouth was almost touching the floor. This had to be some sort of sick prank that the staff was pulling on him. He was the new guy after all. Yeah. This was some kind of joke. Mike rolled his eyes and his mouth formed a sly grin.
"Ha! Ha,ha, ha! Very funny. You almost got me." Mike looked around the office. He knew there were some cameras that were recording his reactions. " Well, you can't fool me. I'm not stupid. I'm going to start my normal shift, with these normal cameras, and the normal ponymatronics. Nothing bad is going to happen."
Mike pulled up his camera pad and flipped through the rooms, until he got to the main stage. He did a double-take as he noticed that something wasn't right. Where 's the purple one? Twilight Sparkle? Mike thought to himself. He recounted them and recounted them, then recounted them again. He couldn't believe it. She was missing.
Somepony had to have picked her up and moved her. How did they do pull it off without making noise and how'd they do it so fast? Those ponymatronics were made more than two decades ago, so they were bulky and heavy. Nopony could've moved them fast enough to get her out of the camera view. He flipped to the dining area camera and his eyes opened in shock. Standing in the dining area was Twilight Sparkle, her blank eyes looking off into the distance. What the heck was going on in this crazy restaurant? Somepony was taking this freaky prank too far. Inanimate objects couldn't move on their own. Could they? Mike was really starting to panic. How could this be? Unless multiple ponies were moving that thing around,........ it was moving on its own.
As crazy as it sounded Mike was starting to believe it. No. It was impossible. There had to be somepony moving that robot. As badly as Mike wanted to leave his office and confront the pranksters, he remembered what Farley had said to him about never leaving his office no matter the circumstances. Mike pulled the camera and stared at Twilight. He knew that nopony could move her while he was watching. Suddenly, the screen was filled with static and he was momentarily inhibited from viewing any of the rooms in the building. Mike switched from room to room trying to find one that he could see, when the static dissapeared as suddenly as it had appeared, and Mike was free to look around once more. He went back to the dining room camera and was shocked to find that Twilight had moved again. Now he knew that ponies weren't moving her. Nopony could move her in only a few seconds. And a unicorn would have to use very advanced magic to teleport the huge hunk of metal that quickly, if at all. The truth was slowly dawning on Mike. This might not be a joke. Maybe, just maybe, that stallion on the phone wasn't kidding about what goes down inside the restaurant at night.
Multiple questions were swimming through Mike's head. What should I do? What if they get into my office? What if I run out of power? Should I try to make a run for it? What's going to happen to me? Could I be...... killed! This was too much for Mike to handle all at once, and it was only 1AM! He felt like he was going to have some sort of nervous break-down right then and there. Mike recollected his mind and assured himself he'd be alright. "Stay calm Mike. You can do this. Just pull up the camera." Mike checked to see if anyone had left the stage. Twilight was still in the dining area, giving her aloof stare, to Mike's relief. He still checked his door lights just to be on the safe side.
Two hours and three bags of hay-flavored potato chips later, nothing much had changed. Twilight had moved to the backstage area, and Mike swore she was looking straight at him. It was like she knew he was there. Talk about creepy. When he switched to the Pegasus Cove camera he was surprised to find Rainbow Dash peeking out of the curtains. Her eyes were glowing softly and they looked sort of..... dead and alive at the same time. Not that they were really alive in the first place so they couldn't actually be dead. Wait a minute. How was she even moving? She was just a pile of scraps. Nopony had probably even recharged her batteries in ages.
Was she possessed? Pfft. That was the most ridiculous thought Mike had ever even thunk up. Possessed robots? Ha! That was even crazier than robots moving around during the night. Even though that turned out to be true. Ponyville did have a reputation for crazy incidents. For example, Discord turning buildings upside-down, while cotton candy clouds poured chocolate rain everywhere, or that one time giant cerberus had escaped from Tartarus and ran rampant in the streets of Ponyville, crushing several, fortunately vacant, houses, which was pretty minor damage in Ponyville standards. The last parasprite infestation had done much worse. At least, that was what Mike had heard from the elders. Most ponies from that period in time were dead and gone.
Mike switched back to Twilight and jumped when he saw her face right in front of the camera, her eyes blacker than midnight, and her pupils, tiny, white dots. He felt like they were burning wholes in his eyeballs as he stared, feeling paralyzed. He returned to his senses when the screen filled with static again, and he was released from Twilight's 'spell'. He put down the camera not terribly concerned about where Twilight had gone. All she had been traveling between the dining area, backstage, and the storage closet for the longest. Mike lazily pressed his hoof against the right door light and then the left door light, only to fall out of his chair and put his hooves over his mouth to stifle his screams. Mike was literally frozen, (insert 'Let it Go' joke here), and he didn't remember ever being this terrified in his entire life.
There was Twilight in the flesh, (or in the the synthetic fur, I guess), right outside of his door, facing him with her slightly detached stare. It was much scarier than when she was looking at him through the cameras. The weak light bulb was still flashing, casting shadows on the unicorn , and giving the robot an even more eerie look. Without thinking, Mike jumped up and pressed the red emergency door button. Slam! Then everything was silent. The light was still on and buzzing, and he could see its shadow on the wall through his window. Mike was petrified, praying to Celestia that the three hours he had left until his shift was over, would pass quickly.
The next day, Mike felt like he would be scarred for life. He still remembered Twilight's When the assistant manager had come to unlock the doors, Mike literally ran over Farley to escape the almost certain death trap. He ran, and ran, and ran, stopping for nopony as he raced home without taking a single break. When he arrived Mike slammed open his door, nearly ripping it off of its hinges. He plopped himself down on his lounge chair, and went over the events of last night. During the last two hours he had been much to afraid to open the left door and barely worked up enough courage to turn off the door light, despite Twilight's shadow having dissapeared from view. Rainbow Dash looked like she was ready to run out of the range of the Pegasus Cove camera, her dead eyes emanating white light, and her mouth hanging open, revealing a row of..... sharp teeth?! It scared Mike half to death when he imagined her, appearing suddenly in his office and biting his face off. Luckily, right as the clock turned to 6 AM, the robots seemed to return to their regular positions. He guessed they were equipped with a timer of sorts.
Mike suddenly got angry. "Why would they let me work there?! Heck, why would they let anyone work there?! How come nopony has told the authorities?! Well you know what?! I quit! I'm never going back there ever again!" That restaurant can kiss my flank!" Mike started to pick up his phone and dial the police. But he stopped. Something was nagging at a corner of his brain. Why? Why are they letting this happen? Why are the robots really doing it? Mike knew that stallion on the phone was trying to trick him about why the ponymatronics acted so strangely. Or maybe that phone guy was actually tricking himself.
