Why you gotta be so rude?
Art Thou Freaking Kidding Me
Celestia was old, older than equestria itself. Though her countless lifetimes of experience there was but a single thing which constantly eluded her despite her best efforts.
A special somepony.
None could say whether it was the overbearing and constant scrutiny of her guard which drove away potential suitors or merely the demands of court. But every budding relationship had ended in disaster.
Her last potential suitor had ended in a spectacular failure. If she was forced to admit it she had come to find the whole affair tragically amusing.
Her Elite guard had foiled every attempt at intimacy by throwing themselves between the ill fated couple. As if the immortal all powerful princess needed them to protect her from her close friend she'd asked out to a picnic in the gardens on a whim.
Now she had decided the only solution was to date a Prince .......
"Guards!" She called, almost using her royal canterlot voice. A guard immediately showed up to request orders from the queen.
"Yes my queen." He bowed. "What is it you need?"
"I need you to conduct a geographical search for all attractive..." She cleared her throat nervously. "I mean, available princes in all of Equestria."
"I'll do my best."
"I know you will." Celestia said, quietly shooing him off to finish his task. "Luna." Luna quietly entered the throne room, looking up at her sister expecting something to be wrong.
"Am I crazy?" Celestia asked.
"What art thou referring to sister?" Luna responded quizzically.
"I need to date a prince, but I feel as if I'm becoming too desperate."
"Why must thou be a prince?"
"Dating commoners are so annoying, they're all hooflickers."
"That's a strong way of putting it."
"Yeah." Celestia didn't particulary enjoy the political system in Equestria, except for the absolute control she had over her subjects. Oddly enough she didn't meet very often with royalty from other lands. She never needed to, none of them ever posed a threat. World peace is a great thing; but when it's interminable, it gets to be a little bothersome.
"So... art thou just going to show up in some strange land and say 'date me'?" Luna had a point, Celestia will have to make up some sort of reason to go somewhere. Maybe just a casual visit... if they would buy it.
"No, sister. I will find a reason. Although I don't see that there necessarily has to be a reason to travel and converse with fellow royalty is there?"
"Art thou be firm? Or art thou going to let a random budding romance spark out of nowhere?" Luna said, concerningly.
"I will make my intentions known when the time is right sister." Celestia responded, when out of the corner of her eye she spotted a guard, trotting towards her out of breath.
"I found... A prince... in haystonia... a cute one." The guard said, in between breaths. Luna raised an eyebrow.
"How does thou know what a cute colt looks like? Ares't thou into mares?" Luna questioned sternly. The guard quickly blushed.
"Well... um."
"Sister, it is not right to question a royal guards sexual orientation. We do not discriminate." Celestia replied, "Why don't you tell me what you know about him and how you were able to gather this information."
"With pleasure my queen, this political magazine Totalitarianism Monthly..." He began to levitate an article for all of the princesses to see. "Shows a white unicorn colt with a long red mane, a cutie mark of black and white rings, and a peasant bowing next to him in shackles. The Haystonian prince in question is named Obediah." Luna scratched her head.
"Totalitarianism Monthly? Aren't we a democracy here?" Luna asked quizzically.
"Actually," The guard replied, "Celestia is the princess who most often appears on the cover of the magazine."
"I guess me and him aren't that different then." Celestia said, smiling.
"But sister, the shackles? The menacing look in his eye, doesn't thou remind you of evil?"
Celestia shook her head. "Nonsense. It's just for publicity, to get more people to read the magazine. That doesn't mean he's a power-hungry tyrant."
"I'm sorry sister." Luna said, "I just wanted to make sure thou would be okay." Celestia nodded.
"I will be fine Luna. Guard, why don't you send a telegram to Prince Obediah and let him know we're coming." The guard smiled.
"Right away princess." The guard said as he went away to fulfill his task.
"Now..." Celestia said, "The question is who will be in charge of Equestria while I'm gone."
Luna squealed inaudibly with delight.
"Prince Blueblood!" Celestia bellowed in her famous royal canterlot voice. Luna's jaw hit the floor.
"What? Art thou gone mad sister?" Luna yelled and spit in disgust.
"I still don't trust you, you are too easily corrupted." Celestia glared at Luna. Prince Blueblood entered the throne room, Luna babbled incoherently as he spoke.
"Yes Princess Celestia?" Blueblood bowed and smiled pridefully.
"You get to be in charge of Equestria while I'm gone. Don't let Luna tell you otherwise. I trust you'll do an excellent job." Celestia explained.
"You can count on it."
Luna protested again. "Thou say I'm too easily corrupted." She scoffed, "As if thou could never become corrupted thyself."
"Luna, you still speak in old English. How can I trust you will take care of modern Equestria?" Celestia argued.
"I was trapped in the moon for 1,000 years. I couldn't exactly take an English class." Luna spat.
"Stop this Luna, the point is that you have been corrupted before, I have not." Celestia mentioned, "And I will no doubt continue to be pure and stay true of myself for the good of Equestria."
"Sister, there is no way thou will go an eternity without becoming corrupted. If that prince is who I think he is, then thou are likely to be corrupted within an instant. Prove that thou will stay true to thyself and not change for him, and then I'll believe you." Luna snorted in derision and left.
Celestia, glad that the argument had finished, left to go pack her things. "I can never be corrupted. Especially not from a common unicorn prince."
Art Thou Under His Spell
Princess Celestia stood by the front doors of her castle in Canterlot, with a myriad of guards surrounding her ready to transport her to Haystonia. She decided to have one last conversation with her before she left. "So Luna, are you okay with this arrangement." Said Celestia, with Prince Blueblood inadvertently peeking around the corner.
"I'm not okay. But I suppose I'll follow Blueblood's orders for just this once while thou art gone." Luna said reluctantly. "But why must thou always do this? Last time thou were gone thou put Shining in charge."
"I told you already sister, I must not risk you being corrupted while I'm gone." Celestia said firmly. She didn't trust her sister, and she knew Luna had been molded into evil before. She couldn't risk that happening while she was in control of Equestria, because ultimately it would be her own fault.
"Fine, if it must be that way then so be it." Luna said before embracing her sister in a big hug. "Do be safe on your trip."
Luna nuzzled her sister softly before breaking the hug. "I will. I hope you are home safe as well when I get back." Luna hopped into her chariot, before allowing her servants to fly her away. "Farewell my little ponies."
After Celestia cutely fell asleep on her chariot, one of the guards casually nudged her awake when they reached their definition. "We're here princess." Celestia's face glowed as she stepped out, admiring a land of Equestria that she had not explored yet. As she left her chariot the hundreds of ponies that were gathered around Obediah's castle began to bow to her.
Celestia smiled and spoke to the crowd. "Please rise my little ponies, and take me to the prince of this region." The crowd rose and followed Celestia, escorting her to the dark castle in front of her. Celestia scanned the castle carefully, the blackened brick walls and the black and white spiral pillars were not like her own.
Celestia nudged the door, which came open instantly. "No guards outside... and he didn't lock the door." Celestia whispered quietly to herself. "Was he expecting me?" Celestia finally went face to face with two guards as she strolled the mysterious hallways of the castle. Behind the guards was a shadowy figure, most likely the prince himself.
"This accursed lighting." Prince Obediah said, looking back at the unilluminated part of the castle. He shook his head to gather his thoughts before introducing himself. "I am Lord Obediah of Haystonia, you must be Celestia I presume?" Lord Obediah bowed slightly as he addressed his rightful superior.
Celestia admired Lord Obediah's humility, but truthfully she was examining the outward qualities that made him a stallion. His white coat and his red hair gave him a humble appearance, while his violet eyes reminded Celestia of her own. He was tall and striking, but not as tall and striking as herself. "Yes, I am Celestia."
Celestia stared into the prince's eyes again, the deep pools of violet, all she could do was imagine herself in them. She came to her senses and noticed that Obediah was expecting an additional response. "Oh, I came to discuss politics." Celestia started sweating furiously, she had the feeling that he would discover her real reason for visiting too soon.
Lord Obediah raised an eyebrow. "I know I have no right to question a princess, but that can't possibly be the real reason for your visit." Obediah smiled and stared into Celestia's eyes again, her eyes again meeting those deep pools of violet, which subtly influenced her.
"It's not!" Celestia replied, her since of honesty and integrity taking over again. "I came to establish a relationship." Celestia couldn't believe she spilled so quickly, but she prayed, to whoever in the universe had the slightest chance of being greater than her, that this would not spell the end of her visit.
"Interesting. Well that's quite alright... I have been searching for adequate relationship myself. That which has not gone so well." Lord Obediah replied understandingly. "However, mares that I date must follow extreme conditions."
Celestia shook her head. "No plot pushing until I say so."
"Is that so? Then why date a prince? Any common servant would so easily follow your commands and make sure all your needs are met." Lord Obediah chuckled at his own response. "The idea of dating somepony of royalty is that each member of the relationship both command respect."
"If the only reason you would think about dating me is for sexual intercourse then I'm not interested. You will have my respect when you show me just what a gentlemen you are." Celestia barked.
"Alright. Let me show you around." Lord Obediah accepted her challenge, and being a gentlemen wouldn't be that difficult for a unicorn as charming as himself. Princess Celestia followed as he made his way through the many rooms of the castle.
One thing that struck Princess Celestia was how glossy-eyed his servants were. Celestia was smart enough to recognize a spell when she saw one in action, and she was tempted to ask Lord Obediah just why his servants acted so strange.
Lord Obediah clapped his front hooves as the two sat down in the dining hall. "Servant!"
"Yes, Lord." He answered with no hesitation and his voice was all but devoid of expresion, with the same empty stare that Celestia recognized the minute she saw it.
"Please bring us the special drinks I had prepared." Lord Obediah commanded, the servant gave him a slight nod and went to the kitchen to fulfill his duties. Celestia raised an eyebrow.
"Why do you hypnotize all of your servants?" Celestia asked.
"What do you mean princess? My servants are loyal under their own free will," Lord Obedia replied, "I just give them a little nudge every now and then."
"I recognize a hypnotic spell when I see it in action. You must have a valid reason to take such drastic measures to make sure your servants are obedient." Celestia was open to different lands in Equestria doing different things and using magic differently, but in the few times she has seen hypnotic magic, it was not used for greater good.
"Yes I do." Obediah explained. "My servants requested the treatment. They just want to be relaxed and have more motivation to serve."
"Alright. I suppose they do things different here in Haystonia. In Canterlot however, we view hypnosis as a tool for evil." Celestia replied, explaining the situation. Shortly thereafter, the servant arrived with their drinks.
"Here are your drinks, Lord." The servant said, before bowing and retreating into the kitchen.
"Here's to trust." Lord Obediah similed as he took a light sip of his drink. Celestia followed. "I'm so glad you could be here, dinner should be ready shortly."
"Yeah." Celestia was awfully thirsty from the ride, and she quickly downed the drink. "Wine in your country has a very tranquil effect. I don't suppose you're trying to hypnotize me like your servants are you?"
Lord Obediah smiled. "No, of course not, forget about that."
Celestia laughed. "Forget about what?" She smiled in reply as she lost her train of thought. "This was a great idea Obediah. Having dinner together, relaxing." Lord Obediah gave an evil smirk at the word relaxing.
"It's very nice to relax and ease your mind after so long. Isn't it?" Lord Obediah asked. Celestia nodded.
"So nice dear. It feels so nice to relax and ease my mind after so long..." Celestia's mind quickly became hazy, but a mid the haze she realized she was repeating everything Obediah was saying. She didn't care though, because she was so relaxed, and those violet orbs of his eyes were just so inviting.
Obediah focused his magic until beams of black and white energy erupted from his horn, his eyes began to change into black and white swirls from the magic. "It feels good to relax... let go... obey."
In the back of Celestia's mind she was in full alert, and the subtle influence she still had over herself commanded her to look away. "I'm not too sure about that..."
"Don't you want to forget? You want more of this relaxation don't you? Not having to worry about your subjects, your kingdom. Only blissful obedience." Lord Obediah spoke in a seductive entrancing tone, fully bent on hypnotizing the Princess and breaking her will.
Celestia turned her head back to his eyes and stared blankly into the spirals that surrounded them. Her pupils shrank to pinprinks as her eyes began to mimic the spirals. She was almost his.
"Relax. Obey. Deeper." Lord Obediah repeated commands to deepen the trance, and watched carefully to make sure he had commands over her. "Blink." Celestia obeyed. "Raise your hoof." Celestia obeyed. "Listen to me very carefully."
Celestia nodded as the saliva and drool escaped her mouth.
"When you awake, you will take me to Canterlot. You will decide to marry me and make me king of Equestria. You are also madly in love with me." Lord Obediah smiled pridefully as he gave her the commands and his puppet nodded aimlessly, still completely mesmerized by the spirals in his eyes.
"When I say Sleepy Celestia you will become so deep for me again and your mind will be so receptive to my suggestions." Lord Obediah commanded. Celestia nodded. "Now when I clap my hooves you will wake up and remember my commands but you will not remember being hypnotized. Lord Obediah pressed his hooves together, and Celestia awakened as if nothing happened.
"So my love, when will dinner be ready? I can't wait to go to Canterlot and show off my new colt. I trust you were planning on proposing this evening."
"Of course dear. Will you marry me?"
"Yes."
