Before I start the story I'd just like to say that trees and clouds are my OC's, do not steal.
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It was a sunny day just like any other day ever in the land of Equestria, except for when the pegasi brought the clouds in, then it was rainy. There was a cool breeze and the smell of fresh life in the air. The trees finally had ripe apples hanging from their branches, and they were a shiny red. Each tree boasted an array of delicious apples. They stood side by side in the farm.
"Yo Dave!" called out one of the trees.
"Sup!" responded Dave.
"Check this out." The tree did not move, because trees can't move, but Dave checked the tree out. Sure enough, the tree had a ridiculously ripe apple hanging from one of its branches.
"Dude, that is gnarly." Dave reveled in the amazingness that was the ripe apple hanging from the other tree's branch.
"Pretty cool, huh?"
"Dude, I bough to that apple." The trees laughed. All of a sudden another tree began to speak.
"You guys are both saplings, check this out." All the trees turned to look at him.
Sure enough, the tree had three ripe apples that looked juicier than all belief hanging from its branches. They all began to cheer.
"Holy SHIT bro, that's dope!" yelled Dave.
"Fuck yah it is," responded the tree. All the trees pretended to branch-five, but since they were trees they couldn't move.
Out of nowhere Applejack entered the farm.
"Oh great, it's this one again," said Dave. The trees all groaned. They remembered what happened last time the pony had trotted into the apple farm.
One of the trees whispered,"Hey Tom, what's she doing?"
Tom looked at the other tree. "You must be new here."
"Yup, moved a couple months ago. What's this pony up to?"
"She's about to release the most unholy of all punishments upon our weak and defenseless souls, crushing them into little tiny bits before stomping all over them," said Tom.
Dave chimed in,"Yah, this pony is going to kick us all over the place until we drop our apples. It's just oppression that's what it is. She calls herself 'Applejack'." The other trees shuddered at the sound of her name, but mostly because a light breeze came through the farm and rustled their leaves.
The tree looked around as all the other trees agreed. "Well then why don't we stop her."
For a moment all the trees were silent, but then they started to laugh.
"Bro," started Dave,"We're trees all we can do is stand around and grow." The other trees laughed some more.
"Yah," said Tom,"The most we can do to stop her is not drop our apples, but just you wait. Once she starts kicking you you'll be begging for mercy."
The other tree was saddened by this. He did not want to be hurt. "Well I say we fight back."
"Are you crazy?" asked Dave.
"What's your name sapling?" said Tom.
"Phyll," said the tree. The other trees looked at Phyll.
"Well, if you want to organize anything you're going to have to run it by our president. Then he's going to have to run it by the entire executive branch and then the judicial branch is going to have to review it. Seems like a lot of work. I'd rather just drop the apples." Tom looked at one of his ripe apples and felt a syrup tear come to his eyes. He didn't want to see it go.
"Screw the government! Let's just beat the shit out of this 'Applejack'." The other trees looked at Phyll skeptically.
"I don't know. Seems kind of risky," said Dave.
"So? It's better than getting our bark kicked. Look, I say that when she comes to kick one of us we attack her with our apples."
The trees laughed. "How are we supposed to attack her? We're trees dumbbark," said one of the trees.
"Exactly! When she kicks us, drop the apples so that they hit her in the head." The other trees pondered this idea, and after some whispering they decided to give it a try. Anything was better than getting bucked a bunch of times.
Applejack came over to the trees and put down her basket. She looked up at the blazing sun and wiped her brow, readying herself for a long day's work. There were a lot of trees to buck.
"I think we shouldn't hit Applejack," said Fluttershy.
"Shut up Fluttershy notree asked for your opinion," said Tom. Fluttershy was about to cry, but she couldn't because trees don't have tear ducts.
"Alright get ready," said Phyll. Applejack lifted her hind hooves and kicked them out toward a tree. The other trees cringed in horror as the bucked tree let out an agonizing scream. Recovering from the pain, the tree remembered the task at branch. He let go of one of his apples and watched as it fell down toward Applejack. The other trees cheered as it fell, watching it barrel down towards Applejack's head. Soon she would feel the wrath of the trees.
The apple smashed into Applejack's head while the trees roared in triumph. It bounced harmlessly off her hat and onto the ground where it rolled a little bit. Applejack laughed and put it in her basket. Then she got back to bucking the tree.
"Don't give up Phloem! Be strong!" yelled Dave. The tree that was being bucked bit his lip as Applejack mercilessly beat down on his trunk. The other trees couldn't bare to watch it, and they decided to take action. They yelled and screamed at Applejack to stop, but she didn't hear them. They yelled and screamed at the top of their lungs.
"Stop kicking him you idiot!" yelled Tom.
"YOU DUMB PONY YOU'RE KILLING HIS SOUL!" yelled Dave.
"I think we should all just drop our apples," said another tree.
Dave slapped the tree across the face. "Never," he said gravely.
The trees hollered at Applejack but she just continued to buck the tree. Slowly, the tree gave in. He had no strength left, and all at once he let all of the apples fall of his branches. The other trees cried out.
"NOOOOO," shouted Dave,"HE WAS SO YOUNG." Dave began to cry, and so did Tom. Phyll felt tears coming to his eyes, but they were unable to come out do to the sheer horror of the scene he had just seen. The trees agreed that they could not let it happen again.
"Yo clouds," shouted Dave. One of the clouds looked down at Dave.
"Sup man," said the cloud.
"Can you help us?"
"What with?"
"I need you guys to help us get rid of this here pony."
The cloud thought for a moment. "What's in it for us?"
Dave thought about all the things they could give the clouds. "We'll produce a bunch more fresh oxygen so the sky is cleaner."
The cloud laughed. "Bitch, we don't need your oxygen, we're clouds."
Dave thought again. "We'll help you get the pegasi to stop kicking you."
The cloud smiled. "Now you're talking." He gave out a whistle and the other clouds came to him.
"What's the job," asked the cloud.
Dave told the cloud their plan.
A couple minutes later, Applejack was bucking another tree. All the other trees looked away while the act occurred. The clouds were almost in position. The trees gave the signal and the clouds looked at each other. Then, all at once, they started to pour water down on the farm.
"Rain? But it was so sunny out," said Applejack.
"Take THAT BITCH," yelled Phyll. He branch-fived all the trees in the immediate area, but quickly realized he was a tree and couldn't move.
Applejack ran inside her barn while the trees cheered in triumph. Their celebrations were cut short, however, when Applejack reentered the farm. She had simply gone inside to put her hat away.
The trees groaned as she continued to buck the apples down. Phyll couldn't take it anymore.
"Yo clouds," he said,"Get me the sun." The clouds looked at Phyll and followed orders. The gray clouds moved away to reveal the sun and the white clouds called out to him.
"Yo sun!" said one of the clouds,"The trees want to talk to you." The sun turned to face the trees.
"Hey Mr. Sun. We were just wondering if you could help us trees," said Phyll.
The sun looked at Phyll with his massive eyes. Then, he spoke. "What do you want," he boomed.
"We need you to help us get rid of this here pony." The sun looked at Applejack and then back at the trees.
"What's in it for me?" said the sun.
"Us trees won't absorb as much as your sunlight. Promise."
"Okay," said the sun. Little did the sun know that the trees were totally lying and were going to absorb the same amount of sunlight. The sun moved closer to the farm, and everything got much hotter. Applejack started to sweat, but she continued to buck the trees. Soon it would be Phyll's turn.
"C'mon sun, you can do it!" yelled Dave. The sun took a deep breath and moved even closer to the apple farm. All of a sudden all of the trees burst into fire and started to scream.
"HOLY FUCK IT BURNS!" screamed Tom. The sun moved away and the clouds sprinkled that trees with rain to douse the flames. A lot of their leaves had been burnt off, but that didn't matter. Applejack's basket had burned up in the flames. Now she had nothing to hold the apples with. The trees cheered in triumph once more, but it was short lived. Applejack bucked some more trees, even though there was nothing to hold the apples.
The trees were just about fed up with Applejack. With a unanimous decision, the trees prepared to take her out once and for all. They were going to use everything they had to stop Applejack. The sun went back into space and stayed there, and clouds all left. They didn't want to see what was going to happen.
The trees all screamed a blood curdling battle cry that would scare Satan himself as they unleashed their mounds of unadulterated and malicious wrath upon poor Applejack.
Then they realized they were trees and can't do shit.
