CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DUNGEON EXPLORERS YAY!

“Are you sure you girls can’t just take them with you?  You know what happened the last time…”

“For the last time, Spike, it’s only for one night.  The Griffons and Minotaurs have asked Equestria to moderate their latest debate.  And, of course, the dragons want to use this as an excuse to expand their borders, again.

“No, I won’t ever forget the last time they spent the night.  We’re still cleaning up the graphic novel section…”

“Aw, come on!  How were we supposed to know books burned so easily?  How’d that fire even start, Sweetie?”

“Umm, I don’t know.  All I did was make some cereal.”

Everypony present (and dragon) resisted the urge to facehoof/claw.  Sweetie Belle, while being one of the cutest fillies to ever inhabit Ponyville, also manages to be the one who made the biggest messes for the adult ponies to clean up.  Really, how can you set fire to cereal?  It’s sixty percent liquid!

Spike tries to argue with Twilight some more.  “But Twilight!  Why, specifically, does the Princess want you guys to be there?  She’s got more than enough guards!”

“Again, Spike, it’s because we’re the Elements of Harmony.  If anypony can be expected to keep the peace during negotiations, it would be those who embody Harmony itself.  And, I’m not trying to invoke Murphy here, Pinkie Promise, but how much trouble could three fillies get into?”

With that, the six mares making up the Elements of Harmony leave the Golden Oaks Library with Spike in charge of the Triple Hurricane, the Cutie Mark Crusaders.  As the door closes, Spike can almost hear the death organ playing.  He turns, and meets the beaming smiles and wide eyes of Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo.

Spike giggles nervously.  “So, girls, what do you want to—?”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DRAGON TAMERS YAAAY!”  They shout, bowling Spike over in a pile of small horse limbs.

“Aw, shoot, girls.  Ah thought we’d get our cutie marks with that one.”

Thankfully, no fires have started (yet), but the library is in complete disarray.  Every book is off the shelves, all the decorations are piled haphazardly against one wall, and Spike is hanging from the ceiling light, bound tight with rope.

Scootaloo turns to the Earth filly.  “Of course it wouldn’t work!  It didn’t work the last time we tried.”

“But that was outside!”

Scootaloo fluttered her wings in frustration.  “How would indoors really make a—Sweetie!  Put that down!”

This is directed at the unicorn, who is walking out of the kitchen area, bowl, spoon, and box in magical hold.  “What?  I’m hungry.”

“Let Apple Bloom deal with the food this time, okay?  We don’t need Twilight mad at us again.”

The Earth pony flops down beside her friends.  “So, we’ve tried crusadin’ on this floor, crusadin’ upstairs, crusadin’ ‘round the tree. Where else’s there to check?”

Sweetie Belle puts her head in her hooves, thinking, then lights up.  “What about the basement?  What’s down there, Spike?”

He starts struggling, and manages to get the rope out of his mouth.  “Girls, don’t you even dare!  There’s a lot of dangerous equipment down there, mostly for a reason!  We don’t need ponies getting hurt!”

The three look thoughtful.  Scootaloo speaks up, “What would a cutie mark in experiment testing look like?”

Suddenly, all of them shout, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS LAB TESTERS YAAAY!” and converge on the basement.

“Crap crap crap crap crap!” Spike begins struggling harder than ever.  Not only would Rarity and Applejack kill him if their sisters got hurt, Twilight will resurrect his corpse to kill him again for letting somepony get hurt with one of the experiments.  He only gets about halfway out when a purple glow emanates from the stairway, causing Spike to stop struggling as he comprehends what just happened.

“Oh, buck.”

“YAAAY!”  As the shout reverberates through the library, three sets of tiny hooves descend the stairs into the dark basement.  Once down, Sweetie uses her magic to pull the single light cord.  To their dismay, most of the machines and contraptions are covered by tarps, with no indication of what they could have been used for.  By unspoken agreement, the three split up to search for anything they can test.

“Hey girls!  Ah think ah found somethin’!”  Sweetie and Scoots scramble over to their sister-in-hooves, and behold a grand looking machine.  Two tall chrome pillars adorn either side of a flat circular pad.  Jutting out from one of the pillars is the control device.  On the lip created by the controls rests a book, bearing the single word Log.

Sweetie Belle picks up the book in her magic and examines it.  “Silly Twilight!  This ain’t a log.  This is a notebook!”  She then proceeds to throw it on the ground.  Scootaloo catches it before it can hit the ground, and probably burst into flames.  She opens it and begins reading as the others wander about the device.

The log begins with an introductory note:

Dear reader,

If you are reading this, congratulations!  You are now in more trouble than you can possibly imagine!  Please put this logbook down, march your little hooves back up the stairs, report to either Spike or Twilight Sparkle, and wait in the library proper to receive punishment.  If you are here with either of the aforementioned beings, then ignore the previous statement; you are obviously here for a reason.

However, if you are reading this, and your dimension of origin is not the Realms of Equis, congratulations!  There are a few beings here who would like to meet with you.  Follow the instructions above, and we will begin along the path to interdimensional friendship, no punishment given.  If you have experienced a trans-dimensional form shift, do not be alarmed.  That will also be explained.

If you are part of the former group and encounter a being from the latter group, please make our new interdimensional guests as comfortable as possible, while also trying to get in contact with either Spike or Twilight Sparkle.

Cheers,

Twilight Sparkle, Warden of the D-Hopper

“Wow.  Hey girls, I think this is some kind of teleporter!”  A chorus of ‘cool’s answer.  Scootaloo turns the page, to some kind of Table of Contents, with another notes page.

As of this point, the Dimensional Hopper (hereafter referred to as the D-Hopper, or D-H) has located [many scratched out numbers] 57 separate dimensions.  Only a few have been explored thus far by non-deities, as Princess Celestia has ordered me to not travel through without first having her investigate first.  I trust her judgment on the issue; I do not want to end up falling into a volcano upon leaving the rift.

Some have been explored by ponykind (see reports on Remnant and Pandora), while some beings from other dimensions have created the technology necessary to link to the D-H (see notes regarding the Blood Gulch Warriors Incident).  The dimensions found are as follows, with markings for explored (^), approved (*), and denied (-), and relative interdimensional coordinates:

1: Remnant^

2: Lava World- (exit point: volcano)

3: Tentacopia----- (Writers Note: NOPE!)

…

The list goes on and on, with more locations later on in the list without markings.  These places only go by numbers, probably because nopony’s gone there yet.

“Hey girls, you remember when we tried to get our mapmaking cutie marks?  Do either of you recognize these names?”

The two wander over, and look over the list.  “Nah, can’t say ah do.  Let’s try one!”  Apple Bloom prys the book out of Scootaloo’s hooves and tosses it to Sweetie Belle near the console.  She fires it up, and scans the list.  She starts putting in numbers, but stops partway through.

“Um, maps only have two sets of numbers, right?  Then why are there five on these places?”

By now, even Scootaloo’s skepticism is waning at the thought of earning the famed cutie mark.  “Don’t know, don’t care.  Just do it!”

As Sweetie inputs the last key, a small flame starts on it.  “OH COME O--!”  Her cry of indignation is cut off as a shimmering purple portal opens between the pillars.  One-dimensional, it sparkles with every color ever imagined and then some.  Peering through, the fillies can see a starfield on the other side, stretching into oblivion.  A surge of trepidation passes through the young ponies.

“Ah-Ah’m not sure ah wanna do this anymore.”

“Same.”

“Yeah, let’s just go back and apologize.”

They turn to go, but Murphy chooses this moment to make good on Twilight’s promise.  The fire spreads all around the pillar, eating away at the foundation, and the pillar falls, obstructing the path back to safety.  With a chorus of shrieks, and nowhere else to go, the three fillies bolt into the portal to escape the fire.

The fire that winks out the moment the portal closes, an unnatural chuckle sounding throughout the basement.  “Score one for Murphy!”