Royal Punishment

by Skarsnik

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy, Rarity, Prince Blueblood
Length: 2991

When a friend is a royal pain, sometime they just need a royal punishment

Twilight Sparkle and Rarity have tea. Twilight Sparkle love her friend Rarity and love tea, but why Rarity always try to ruin the moment with Etiquette lesson? Especially when there are totaly wrong.

But Twilight Sparkle know a pony that could change the mind of her friend and maybe her life

Published 2015-01-19 17:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-19 17:20:01 UTC

Royal Punishment

Author's Note

Something silly that came to my mind starting with the idea, "What if Twilight get really mad at one of her friend", I choose Rarity because well she is quite a bitch at Twilight's birthday.

EDIT : I try to lesser the evil a bit with Twilight/Blueblood

Royal Punishment

Two ponies were having a nice afternoon tea in the Friendship Palace, an activity that looked innocent enough but had involved three weeks of preparation. Two weeks to find the perfect room suited for it, meaning a room with a nice view and a good medium light at this time of the day, but not too bright to keep a cosy atmosphere. The last week had been used to find furniture and the right tea set. The white unicorn mare seated in one of the red cushions had pushed for Spike to learn how to properly serve tea, but the purple alicorn sitting at the opposite side of the table had reminded her that he was not a servant even though Spike had said that it did not bother him.

The local Ponyville princess was in a mixed state of anxiety and annoyance as there was a pause in the conversation while both ponies were now sipping their tea. It was always during this kind of pause that the local fashionista liked to remind her of her position as a Princess.

“Twilight dear, a true Princess should not hold her tea cup more than two centimeters above her lips. I thought by now you had learned that.”

“Rarity, I already told you, it’s fine”, at this point Twilight was just only slightly pissed and tried to remain calm to not offend her friend.

“But what if you offend a dignitary, you could cause a crisis, that would be the worst possible thing”, Twilight could have rolled her eyes at Rarity’s drama tone, but she was just too focused on trying to escape this conversation

“Listen Rarity, I am just taking tea with a friend”, it was the perfect sentence, said with all the calm Twilight still could maintain, but if Applejack was stubborn, Rarity either never understood the hit or was just ignoring it on purpose. Twilight was already anticipating the following answer that always came after.

“But think of it as a of form of practice, one must practice in her daily activity to be a fine lady”

This time that was it, no trying to smooth her friend or find clever ways to change the conversation, Twilight just lost her temper emitting a single,“Gaah” but still wanting to get away with some sort of consideration for her friend, she drank her tea in one gulp, “Well Rarity it has been a pleasure but I have some studies to finish”

“But, we are not-”

Showing her empty tea cup, Twilight cut the other pony before leaving the room in a hurry, “See, I finished my tea, now I have...Princess stuff to do”, it was a weak excuse but she did not care.

**

An angry purple alicorn was pacing back and forth in the kitchen where a dragon was cleaning one of the ovens after a failed attempt at finding the perfect balance of sapphire, ruby and pears in a chocolate cake. The alicorn had given up a long time ago at trying to understand how gems and fruit can make perfect small explosives when given enough heat, but also blaming Spike for the occasional havoc that the explosions provoked, for two reasons: first, Spike had agreed to always clean up and second, he had promised to never show that to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. That was mainly why Spike did not understand why Twilight was so upset and asked the dreadful question.

“Are you alright Twilight?”

What the alicorn replied was not what Spike expected, but knowing Twilight for so long, he did not expect a straight answer so, “Six times, six times this week”, was not that bad.

Knowing Twilight could get mad after some failed experiment, he just said “You blow up something?”, and started counting with his claws, “nop that was only four, it’s a calm week”, it was only friday after all.

“No, Rarity asked me to be more ladylike”

It was a touchy subject. When interacting with ponies Twilight was polite, nice and quite friendly, but she never got rid of her foalish habits when doing things like eating or dancing in public, “Well...it...would be...nice...you are a bit....just a bit, messy sometimes?”

Spike’s attempts at being nice fell on deaf ears as Twilight replied, “I am tired of-”, she cut herself and a weird smile appeared on her face, “Oh I have an idea”

Spike was scared, this smile meant she had found a way of getting back at her friend, sadly Twilight was not very creative about pranks and generally what she called a nice friendly talk, was seen by other ponies as the lecture punishment. “You are not going to lecture Rarity...she is not a bad pony”, Spike was nearly crying and wondering if he should get on the floor and beg for mercy.

“No Spike, I already try that, she just won’t listen or ignore me”, Spike love Rarity, she was the perfect mare, but he knew that sometime, but not very often mind you, she could set her mind on something silly and stick to it.

“So what? You will send her Princess Celestia?”

“The Princess? No, she would probably want that I handle that on my own or with my friends, that why I will send her, him”

There were few ponies Twilight could refer to this way, the first one that came in Spike’s mind was not a pony, “Him?”

“Yes him”, Twilight replied as if she had stated the obvious, “Who else?”

Remembering the non-pony was actually doing community service on the moon, Princess Luna was not that forgiving toward the reformed Discord, Spike came to the conclusion on whom she was referring to, reconsidering begging for mercy a serious option “Oh no, not him”

“Yes”, Twilight said with glee and summoned paper and a quill to write a letter.

--

A svelte unicorn stallion with a perfectly groomed blond mane and a perfectly groomed blond tail was walking his way toward the not so perfect Carousel Boutique, in his blue eyes the building was nearly as bad as the new castle to bend with the rest of the town. There were many things to say about this stallion but his carefully groomed royal white coat, his small perfectly tailored tuxedo, and his properly trained demeanor were enough to make all the mares in town look at him in awe, while all the other stallions were giving him angry stares. But this image of the perfect stallion was simply annoying for him considering the time he had to spend to look not good, but perfect everyday when some other stallions had a more natural beauty, like the crowned Prince of the Crystal Empire. He passed the door of the boutique putting aside these thoughts. The bell rung to announce the arriving customer to the owner of the shop and he heard a simple:

“I am coming”, the well-groomed and elegant white mare that appeared did not trigger any reaction from the stallion at all. He was used to mares like that, but being the nice pony he was, he still greeted her.

“Good evening. Miss Rarity Belle, I presume?”

Upon recognizing the stallion the local fashionista greeted him in reply, “You...You…ruffian, you”

“Is this how you welcome your customers? I was told you were a fine lady”

“SSorry, Your Highness, Prince Blueblood, what can I do for you?”

“This is more about what I can do for you. It came to my attention you drive for perfection in the fine art of formal etiquette. I must say I am already disappointed”. It’s one of the first rules of proper social etiquette, whatever were your sentiments towards a pony, you have to remain polite, and directly insulting a pony was a great faux pas.

“What would a rustre like you know about etiquette?”, Blueblood could have been impressed by the mare’s attempt to keep a stoic demeanor despite her nearly inquisitive glare, but being the adopted nephew of Princess Celestia made him a stallion hard to impress.

“Oh, the rustre is a Prince of Equestria, and our dear Princess’ nephew. I had good tutors about proper court etiquette, my most pleasant lessons being with my dear aunt herself”

The white mare’s tone immediately changed on hearing the words Prince and Princess, reminding the stallion of a talk he had with Princess Luna recently about ponies interacting with royalties, “I am so sorry...what about some tea?”

“I have to refuse, as you probably do not meet my high standards concerning tea and you probably don’t know either I dislike tea”, Blueblood was slightly annoyed that everypony thought all royalties enjoyed tea because it was Celestia’s favorite beverage. Still that did not stop him learning everything about tea.

“I...no offence but is it not contradictory to say you have high standards on something you don’t like?”, the next sentence from the mare made Blueblood smile internally, she clearly had no idea what she was talking about.

“Why? Etiquette is like fashion, it is not about what you like, it is about how you act to make ponies like you. Are you really sure you have some basics on proper social interaction?”

“I still highly doubt your social skills from the way you treated me at the Gala”, As finally the mare felt slightly insulted and tried to get back at him, Blueblood could have just laughed or faking being offended but he had expected this question. Keeping his well trained calm stance he simply replied.

“You embarrassed me at the Gala. You knew I was a Prince and you tried an improper attempt at courtship in a formal environment. So I treated you like I treat any mare seeking a social position. Did you ask my family first? The answer is no, because you would have known I was already engaged. And even if it was not the case, the Gala is not the place for a commoner to court a noble of my position”, He paused to let the mare drink his words and have a chance to calm herself. He was watching her trying to hide what was probably a mix of confusion, guilt and shame, “But I am not here to rant about the past. What is your base education for etiquette?”

“A book.”

“It’s a good start, which book?”, Blueblood was slightly impressed, generally mares like her just said something like “A friend taught me”. A book was already more proper tutoring material.

“It’s “Proper behavior for young ladies and Canterlot Etiquette””

Blueblood knew this book but he was feeling playful and said teasingly, “By whom?”

“Lily Court, Duchess of Canterlot”

“Ooh that book”, Blueblood was good at faking surprise.

“You know that one?”

“Yes, in fact I am a well-read pony. History, and especially history of noble ponies, is my favorite reading”. He paused to smile. Most ponies thought he was only an ignorant selfish good-looking Prince, well it was what he let other ponies think of him. “The thing is, most ponies like you and most of today’s noble ponies think history is not important, especially the history of the major Houses.”

The mare gave him the usual reply of ponies trying to impress him, as if saying something made it true, “I am perfectly aware of the major Houses of Canterlot”

“And yet, you don’t know the house Blueblood never had a Lily Court, and you don’t know either I am the Duke of Canterlot. My family got this title because of its major investment in the making of the city”, he had to admit, it was not a well-known fact, most non-Canterlot residents thought the Princesses were the sole ruler of the Capitol, “but back to the book, when I found this book, I was fifteen I think, I asked my aunt who was this Lily Court, I maybe had missed one of my ancestors. The Princess told me she was the Duchess of Canterlot when Canterlot was only a small guard outpost, it was when the castle in the Everfree forest was still the capital. It’s a title she gave herself to sign some books. The Duchess was a pony with a lot of free time that liked to write parodic books about some aspects of her life. I had to admit this book gave me a good laugh but I asked my aunt why it was still published if it was written one thousand years ago and provide false informations. She told me at the time it was to remind her of an old friend”, he paused to see if the mare was still listening to him, not that it mattered to him, “I had an interesting discussion about this book recently with Lily Court, she found amusing to see that some ponies are still following these silly rules.”

The mare was nervous still trying to process everything he had just said, “You...met her?, but isn’t she dead?”

“My recent informations said that Princess Luna is still well alive”

Blueblood watched with a smile as the mare realised what he just had told her about the book, and she was starting to shake, one eyes twitching and her previously well tended mane was showing sign of out of place hair, “You...are saying this this book is a lie? MMMy whole life is a lie?”

Keeping his smiling face, he just added, “I am afraid so. But you know you can still find some proper books in your local library. The librarian found odd you never consulted one because they are not cheap and the last up-to-date edition of the reference book is an interesting ten thick tome piece of literature”

The mare with one straw of lucidity left managed to react at the word librarian, “Oh, I get it, Twilight sent you to pull a prank on me?”

“I am not the type to prank, all I told you is the pure truth”, Blueblood was lying, he liked, hell he loved pranking self proclaimed ladies, but he always told them the truth, mostly, “Well it was a pleasant visit but some important duties await me with Princess Twilight Sparkle”

Before leaving, Prince Blueblood left a small envelope on a the counter.

--

Later Prince Theodore Blueblood was in the Friendship Palace, he sighed at the lack of proper furniture and servant, but he knew the castle was recently “build”. When he entered the throne room, he was greeted by a smiling purple Princess. She was wearing her full regalia, her golden horseshoes were all shiny mainly because they were not used that often, and Blueblood was glad that her crown was not the old ugly one from her coronation, it was slightly oversized and even though the star-shaped gem was an interesting sight it did not fit with the mare wearing it. It was too gaudy. The mare mane and coat were well groomed to show her well earned royal condition, she was standing regally on her throne and was smiling at him

“Good evening Prince Blueblood, did you have a pleasant tour of Ponyville?”

“Yes, Princess Twilight Sparkle, I encountered a young mare very interested in Etiquette and the art of good manners in court”, he replied with the same smile the alicorn was offering him, at the same time he was a bit worried he maybe went a little too far, he was just supposed to lecture her friend about Canterlot Etiquette.

“Did you have an interesting discussion?”, the smile of the alicorn princess was becoming wider.

“Of course your highness, you know me, I am always a nice gentlestallion.”

The smile on the mare face became a laugh and she was joined by Blueblood but he was a bit worried, Maybe I have a bad influence on her? na she seem pretty pissed off in her letter. They laughed for what felt like an eternity before she regained some composure and talk with a more natural tone.

“Did you bring the book I asked you? I forgot it the last time we met.” she said as she left her throne to walk toward him.

“Of course Princess Twilight”, he replied playfully.

“You know my friends call me Twilight.”

“Yes, but I am not your friend.”, he said with a small grin on his face as he close the distance, grab one of her hoof and put a kiss on it.

--

Later in the evening a white filly with a two shade of pink mane was humming some tune as she entered Carousel Boutique to find her sobering sister on a red couch eating kilogrammes of chocolated ice cream, not even caring as she was soiling her coat, her mane, the couch and her face. The filly stopped herself humming just to ask, “Are you alright sister?”, but paid no mind to an answer knowing too well her sister could make a drama of choosing light pink instead of pink to match with night blue, or something like that. Sweetie Bell never understood her sister’s fashion nonsense.

She just heard her sister whining something along the lines of, “My liife is a liiiiiiiiie”, when she noticed an envelope on the counter. She pick it up and seeing no address and no marking that could signify its origin nor whom it was for, her curiosity was piqued so she opened it. Inside was a nice square of bristol with silver writing and a golden border. Upon reading the content Sweetie Bell’s voice was filled with glee when she said to her sister :

“Ooh Princess Twilight is getting married! But who is Prince Blueblood?”