Insanity

by FuzzygeckoTheDisturbed

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Dark, Romance
Length: 2809

A series of traumatic experiences in her past leaves one pony helpless in the hooves of a terrible mental illness.

Clairessa is an accomplished individual with a mental illness. Diagnosed at five, she has had problems with it all throughout her life. Now at age 21, the illness has made a comeback and is slowly destroying everything she has fought for. As Clairessa loses more of herself, her friends begin to lose hope.

But is love more powerful than insanity?

Author's Note

I did not misspell Clairessa, so don't comment on "Fuzzygecko misspelled Clairessa! It's actually Clarissa!" or crap like that. I really don't enjoy random hate, so just preventing that now. :facehoof:
Anywho, hope you enjoy my fic! :raritywink:
Also, I would like to know what you liked/didn't like about my story! Please be honest, but also be fair!
Rated teen for now…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-01 01:34:24 UTC

Chapter 1- "Claire?"

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville, with clear blue skies and perfect weather. A young blue unicorn was walking down the street, balancing two mannequins as well as four rolls of cloth and a bag of accessories. She was headed towards Carousel Boutique, home of the famous fashion designer Rarity, whom was know all throughout Canterlot and other fashionable cites. Despite the warm weather, the mare appeared to be shivering, and seemed nervous as she approached the boutique. All feelings of unease disappeared entirely when the door opened to reveal Rarity, and so the mare immediately relaxed.

"Oh Clairessa! How are you today?" Rarity asked.

"Umm, fine Rarity." Clairessa said in an almost Fluttershy-like fashion.

"Are these the new designs?"

"Uh, yea. I finished them last night, and got some new mannequins, and... stuff."

"You know you can use my mannequins dear. You don't have to buy them all the time. Why, I don't even pay you!"

It was true. Rarity had never paid Clairessa for any of the work she had done, or shared any of the profits with her. She had refused to take any of Rarity's money, and that was that. How she made a living was unknown.

"Well, um, here."

Clairessa handed Rarity her sketchbook, filled with many intricate drawings of dresses for their line.

"I-I'd better g-go now." Clairessa stuttered.

"Why don't you stay for some tea?"

"I-I don't f-feel that, um, great."

"Oh, alright. You'd better go then. A pony wouldn't want to fall ill!"

"O-okay. Bye, R-rarity."

As Clairessa trotted off, Rarity noted how much thinner she looked.

A slight breeze had begun, and it lazily drifted past Clairessa and through her mane, making small strands of it float up and out of her braid. For a moment, it seemed to calm her. She let out a deep sigh, and kept on walking. Only a yard or so from the outside of town though, Clairessa found herself face-to-face with a crowd of ponies. Her hooves slowed and she suddenly felt the coarse gravel underneath them. The breeze now seemed cold, sharp. The picture dulled, and the ponies' faces blurred and merged together. Wails of despair filled Clairessa’s ears, and drowned out all her other thoughts. She was drowning in an abyss of darkness...

"Claire?"

The voice, which came from a pale gray pegasus, jerked Clairessa back into the real world with a snap. Yellow, unfocused eyes peered down on her, but not too close to feel threatening. Apparently, Clairessa found them intimidating all the less. She cowered, and the fear radiating off her was so strong one could not help but feel sorry for her.

"I-I hurt them..." she wailed softly.

"It's okay Clairessa. Calm down." The gray mare said soothingly.

"Nooo..." Claire moaned painfully.

The look in her eyes was crazed, distant. Almost instantaneously, the pegasus knew what was wrong, and she pet Clairessa's head softly with a gentle hoof. Slowly, the pony beneath her stopped convulsing and her breathing slowed. Nevertheless, Claire's eyes could not focus on the gray mare's yellow ones. When both pairs of eyes met, the blue ones were still iced over with complete terror.

“Are you alright Claire?” the gray Pegasus asked with a concerned tone.

“I’m o-okay Derpy,” Clairessa stuttered.

“Come on, get up.”

As Clairessa slowly climbed to her hooves, Derpy looked around. A few ponies were staring at them quizzically, but other than that, nopony else had bothered to notice Claire’s spell. What they were all gathered in a crowd for, Derpy was uncertain. Deciding that it was not essential for her to find out, Derpy continued to help Clairessa.

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

What a silly question. Derpy Hooves knew exactly what had happened, but she just refused to believe it.

“Yeah,” Claire shifted under Derpy’s gaze. “Can we, um, go now?”

Sensing her friend's utter embarrassment, Derpy Hooves put her hoof on Clairessa's shoulder.

“Of course. Let’s go now, before the ponies start breaking up and wandering around, ok?”

As Derpy and Claire left the town of colorful cottages, the same breeze whispered past them. This time, it made Clairessa shiver.

A knock on the wooden door of the tree house cottage alerted a green unicorn to the arrival of Clairessa and Derpy. Looking up from her work, the unicorn mare raced to the faded cottage door, rattling the wooden floorboards. Swinging open the door, the orange-eyed mare panted.

“Clairessa?”

The mare in question was slumped against Derpy’s side, blue eyes focused on the floor.

“Hey, come on, let’s get to your room now,” the green unicorn gently lifted Clairessa from Derpy’s side with her orange telekinesis. The blue hooves that belonged to Claire began to move slowly, and she shuffled to her room supported by the unicorn’s magic. The floor beneath both pairs of hooves was squeaky and covered with an inch of dust. Patches in the roof were merely thatch, and broken glass littered the short corridor. At the end, there were only two doors. One with peeling white paint, and one made just of bare oak wood.

Entering the oak door, the green unicorn slowly and carefully helped Clairessa into a plush, white canopy bed. Although the bed was intact, the rest of the room was in shreds.

Glass littered the floor under windows, torn bed sheets were thrown about everywhere, and the only chair in the room was stained and dirty. Every other piece of furniture was scarred with hoof-marks. Looking back on the room before closing the door, the green unicorn was filled with disgust. Clairessa didn't deserve this... she would come clean up later.

Entering the hallway again, the green mare made her way to the main room of the sad-looking cottage. Derpy Hooves was waiting for her on a stained turquoise couch, worried but not out of place. They had gone through this before, and the procedure was nothing new to them. The green mare just wished it was.

"Pitch?"

Pitch sighed. It was time to talk.

Chapter 2- "You're right."

Rarity paced back and forth upon the cushioned floor worriedly. Going to check the window for the umpteenth time, she pawed her face with her hooves.

What is taking that mare so long? Rarity wondered. That thought was also countered with a silent scolding.

You shouldn't be thinking these things Rarity. You know she's sick.

Sick. That was an understatement. No word ever invented could describe what Clairessa was feeling right now. Rarity let out a deep sigh and plopped herself down beside the carved ornate door that led to the outside. After about ten minutes, she got up, restless again. Rarity finally decided that a cup of Earl Gray would be a temporary solution to her troubles. Taking out her ceramic teapot, she turned on her electric stove and went towards the pantry in search of some teabags. Floating out three, Rarity returned to the flower-print teapot and poured in a stream of cool water, then set it on the stove to boil. Unwrapping the teabags, she soaked in their bittersweet smell. Settling them inside the bubbling teapot, Rarity positioned herself in a dark blue chair to wait.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Three loud knocks on her door jerked Rarity awake. Jumping out of her chair, she tore to the front door of the boutique, wanting immediately to reach it and find out what happened to Clairessa and why she was so late. But as Rarity opened the door, she realized with surprise and dread that the pony waiting outside was no other than Pitch Punk. A serious look was on her face, and her eyes bore into Rarity's skull, making her shrink back slightly to let the mare speak.

"I understand that you would like to know what has happened and why Clairessa isn't here today?" Pitch said softly, but coldly.

"Well, y-yes, I would," Rarity stuttered, the stood up straighter.

'What's going on?"

"Claire isn't going to be able to work here for a while."

Rarity's brow furrowed. "And why is that?"

"I-I am sorry, you can't-"

Rarity had had enough. Dark blue eyes fixed straight on Pitch's bright green face, she let her steaming anger pour out like a burning stream of lava.

"You know very well you can trust me Pitch! Why, every time you come here for this reason, you're as cold as a block of ice! And of course, you always act like a government officer, telling me that something happened with Clairessa but not letting go so much as a hint as to what is going on! Is there something wrong with me? Is that what it is?" she screamed.

Pitch Punk shrank back, as if hit by a blow of some sort. Hurt reflected in her neon orange eyes, and only until then did Rarity notice what she had just said. The judge-like demeanor Pitch had been putting up was now gone, but her usual joyful, optimistic personality also did not return.

"Pitch I-"

Pitch Punk turned away. "I think you've said enough Rarity," she said, hostile. Taking a few hoofsteps forward, she looked back at Rarity, purple and blue mane brushing her shoulder. In a sad voice she said: "You're right."

By the time Rarity returned to her kitchen, the teapot had already let out a fair amount of steam. Still, the over-cooked tea went into a dainty pink teacup, and sugar and milk were poured in to mask the strange taste. As Rarity pondered over Pitch's visit, she also wondered again why Clairessa was absent. Thinking back, she did notice something irregular about Claire's last visit...

Pitch Punk's sluggish green hooves had finally reached the edge of the Everfree. Her cottage was clearly visible, almost floating above the treetops. Pitch smiled, as she remembered how she and Claire had run off together, and built it here. They couldn't decide where to build it- Clairessa wanted a cottage in the woods, and Pitch had wanted a tree house in Ponyville. So, they had combined the two, to make the perfect dream home.

Those were just distant memories now. The once astonishing tree house was now rotted and sagging. The  bright yellow paint, which was Clairessa and Pitch's favorite color, was now peeling. Pitch noted that it looked more gray now anyways. As she trotted up the broken stairs to her sad and desolate house, Pitch Punk realized something. The house reminded her of Clairessa. A broken dream.

Not long after that thought, and not long after the orange telekinesis had swung open the door angrily, Derpy raced down the half-carpeted hallway.

"Pitch!"

Pitch swiveled around to face a disheveled-looking Derpy Hooves. One of her hooves was swinging a very few inches off the floor of the tree house as she limped towards Pitch Punk. Dark red stains followed her hoof as she tried to hide it from Pitch's view.

"What? What is it?" dread settled like a cold stone in Pitch's stomach. Derpy then became very aware of the patched-up carpet beneath her.

"Clairessa... s-she bit m-me..."

Chapter 3- "Tell us what's wrong with her!"

-Flashback-

A small blue filly walked down a long, blaring white hallway. Two other ponies were with her: a mare and a stallion. The little filly cowered and hid between the mare's long, white legs. Standing next to the lanky mare was the buff, mean looking stallion. He had a jet black mane with a light green stripe through it and a matching tail. He scowled at the filly and she turned away, whimpering. Whispers of black hair floated out of her bun as the family approached a door. The shiny metal label read "Room 624- Mental Disorders- Doctor Blueheart". The mare entered first, her russet tail swishing behind her as her reluctant filly followed behind her. The stallion entered last, red eyes scanning the room, in an almost judgmental way. His eyes soon settled on the older mare sitting on a crimson rolling chair near the center of the room. Her powdery blue hair was streaked with gray, and the stallion's black muzzle was set into a frown again as he sat beside his wife and child.

"Welcome, Mrs. Midnight. Mr Midnight," Dr. Blueheart nodded.

"We're here to talk about our daughter," Mr. Midnight said gruffly.

Dr. Blueheart frowned. "Well, yes, let's get on with it then, shall we?"

"W-whats wrong with Claire?" Mrs. Midnight asked, wings ruffling. "Tell us what's wrong with her!"

Dr. Blueheart sighed, and put a gray hoof on Mrs. Midnight's shoulder.

"The test results just came in this morning, Cinnamon. Claire has Psychosis.

Clairessa's head was pressed up against frigid windowsill. Her glassy, ocean eyes were staring at absolute nothing. The powdery blue fur on her legs was matted with sweat. Suddenly, Claire's head shot up. Her gaze focused on a peculiar object sitting on her smashed dresser.

An amber pendant lay on its side, covered in dust.

A tiny filly's muddy blue hooves shook as an enormous purple colt shattered her snout with one great blow. She whimpered as a dark red substance began its descent down her neck, mixing in with her tears and rainwater.

"Ha! Look at little Claire-Baby cry!"

The purple colt, as well as his two friends, a muscular mare and a lanky brown colt started laughing cruelly at Clairessa. The mare, who was a pale orange with bright red hair, threw a few rocks in her direction. Claire dodged most of them, but one nicked her neck and she yelped. As she fell down, the laughter grew louder. The gang then circled her and began throwing more rocks. Many became bloodstained, as it was getting harder for Claire to avoid them. The brown colt delivered a few swift kicks to her chest, and she fell down, weeping.

"Nice one, Russet!" The purple colt cheered. "That little useless brat-"

"Hey!"

The three bullies spun around to face a neon bright filly only slightly bigger than Clairessa Midnight herself. The unicorn had a jagged mane cut mocking the infamous Vinyl Scratch's and her tail looked like it had been cut off with scissors. She wore an angry scowl on her face that seemed to annoy the gang.

The purple colt's wings rustled. "Scram, or we'll beat you up too!"

Vinyl Scratch 2.0 snickered. "Try and catch me!"

The purple pegasus and his friends looked confused, until orange telekinesis wrapped around Russet and the orange unicorn's heads, knocking them together harshly.

Crack!

"Ow!" Both the ponies screamed, falling back as two large purple and gray bruises formed on their foreheads.

"Damp, do something about that filly!"

Damp Gravel gave the neon green filly an ice-cold stare. "You're going to wish you were never born, brat."

The unicorn gasped as Damp charged toward her at an alarming speed. But, instead of running off, the small filly suddenly became cloaked in orange light. She then appeared behind Damp, as he banged into the solid cement wall in front of him.

"Ouch!"

Damp Gravel tried to turn around, but collapsed onto the gritty ground beneath him. A slow stream of blood was trickling down from a shallow gash in his forehead. The metallic taste made him cringe.

With all the bullies accounted for, the neon green unicorn turned to the shivering filly.

"Are you OK?"

Clairessa looked got up slowly to look at her savior. Hair matted and covered in muck, she didn't look like much. But to Clairessa at that moment, she was the greatest friend a pony could have.

"Yeah."

The neon pony smiled in a sweet way, and held out her foreleg towards Claire. Taking it, they both stared at each other for a moment.

"My name's Pitch Punk, what's you're's?"

Claire's powdery hooves scraped the ground nervously. "Clairess-sa Mid-dnight."

Pitch Punk shook her hoof, which was already in her grasp, then let it drop to the soaked, muddy ground. Reaching up to her breast, she pulled off one of the faintly glowing amber pendants on her neck. A chunk of carved up amber set in tarnished silver, Clairessa couldn't fathom how she hadn't noticed them before.

"Here," Pitch held it out to her. "It was my mother's."

A shaky blue hoof reached out, but then pulled back quickly. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The same powdery blue hoof shoot out, but this time, it grasped the pendant and slipped it on slowly. The cool metal tickled the skin under Clairessa's fur and the jewel sparked in the dim light of the ally.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

Clairessa shifted in her bed, not able to focus on anything particular after the flashback. As bitter tears streamed down her face, a pair of neon, orange eyes was watching her from a slight crack between the door and door frame...