The Conversion Bureau: Project Vanguard

by Astral Spark

Chapters

Prologue: A Leopard Can Change His Spots
Chapter One: I Hate Mondays
Chapter Two: A Day in The Life of A Convert
Chapter Three: Lighten Up! You've Still Got A Life To Live! ... Or Do Ya?

Prologue: A Leopard Can Change His Spots

"A new horizon, and the force that guides us to it. Nova Initium."

The Conversion Bureau: Project Vanguard

Prologue: A Leopard Can Change His Spots

__________

Sunday, February 26th, 2052

Dear Journal,

If Humanity has come this far, why haven’t we learned to think before we act? Why haven't we learned to understand something before we go and blow it up? Why do we hate things that are full of righteousness and benevolence: things that offer peace and harmony, love and guidance... but we decline? We refuse such things in favor of our ignorant ways of the past, the ways that led us to three world wars. As Chaplin put it, "Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much, and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life would be violent, and all would be lost."

Greed, hatred, intolerance, and ignorance. These four qualities have poisoned the souls of men, and have wrought violence which in turn has spread throughout the world. Everyone, or in my case, everypony knows that good things give birth to hatred. There are beings who wish to rid the world of those who experience and benefit from these gifts, and wish to destroy their happiness. Why? They are only afraid. Change is one of the most destructive beings in the universe, and it unintentionally brings harm to us all. It must be hard for the being Change; wishing to only bring a new and refreshing twist to our lives, but only causes harm when he tries to give us his gifts. What a saddening existence that must be.

I suppose that it was a gift, in all actuality. It was really half a gift, because I didn’t get to go to Equestria, but to me it’s more of a curse. It’s only been three days since I left that place, and tomorrow I go back to school. I’m dreading school more than I ever have in my entire life now, and I only hope that it somehow works out. My friends, teachers, and classmates are in for one big surprise, I suppose. What if my friends hate me? What if my teachers, especially Mr. Montag, hate me now because of what I’ve become? These past few days haven’t been easy, especially dealing with the hooves and all, but from what I’ve experienced so far, it won’t be anything short of one of the worst days of my life.

__________

I spat the pencil out of my mouth in disgust, and I watched intently as it rolled lazily across the desk. I looked down at my journal, and a single teardrop landed on the page, blurring my penmanship. I screwed my eyes shut and wiped them dry with my foreleg, the fur now a darker shade of blue where the tears were. Leaning back in my desk chair, I gazed up at the slowly rotating ceiling fan. My head was aching again: the ache that always came when I got like this. It always started at my head, traveled down the length of my spine, into my chest and stomach, and then finally down my legs to my hooves. And then the ghost pain of my missing fingers that still lingered traveled back up to my aching skull.

I think it was a way of reminding me of just what, exactly, I was. I usually really don’t like to think about it, but whenever I start thinking, it always comes back. I love to think; I love to imagine, to fantasize, and to dream. It was how I coped with things before, really. School, bullying, when my parents fought, and just the world itself all seemed to slip away when I lost myself in my own imagination. As a product of my thinking and fantasies, I wrote quite a lot, and it always helped. If my big dreams never worked out, I could always write. Although, I wasn’t going to allow that to happen easily. I was pretty determined before, when I was human, to pursue my dreams.

But… It did happen easily. Quite. I fought, I tried to change my parent’s minds, but they were set on it. When the conversion movement began, my mother and father became active participants. We live in what is now called, “The Last Bastion”, or “Freedom’s Progress” by some, but I always just liked the title of New Roanoke, or just Roanoke. My parents grew up in the city, and watched it grow into the Human Megatropolis it is now. All through their lives, they were activists that preached the protection of the small, old city, and fought against the corporate presence that had moved in and taken over. They supported Animal rights, environmental protection, the conservation of the historical landmarks of the city, et cetera... They evoked a righteous cause that I supported, but it never did any good.

Despite their efforts, the city grew and toppled everything they tried to protect. They fought valiantly, but it apparently wasn’t enough. Especially if they were in the way of Human progress.

Then along came the barrier, and with it the Ponies and the Conversion Bureaus. This entire situation granted my parents another opportunity to promote something greater than themselves. For a time, everything was as fine as it possibly could've been. My parents supported the cause heavily, and I just kind of laid low. At the time, I really didn’t have an honest opinion. They offered Humans the gift of knowledge; the knowledge of ultimate peace. Their dominant country, Equestria, had prevented war for over a thousand years under the rule of an absolute Monarch. Therefore, I had no reason to dislike them, and I had every reason to admire them. So helpful, so kind… In the face of the expanding Singularity, they invented a way for every man, woman, and child to be safe from the violent radiation the barrier excreted.

The barrier was said to eventually expand, and when it reached about one third of Earth's mass, multiple scenarios were presented: The first was that the Earth would violently implode, the second scenario depicted the moon crashing into Earth, and the third being that all of this would happen, and eventually, the Singularity would collapse and create a black hole, causing the entire Solar System to be violently eradicated. Celestia and Luna, the co-rulers of Equestria… They wouldn’t do this, would they? Yes, I was convinced that they had no part in it. Still, nobody knows whether or not they created it. Yes, they had invaded our world, but they saved us all, or are at least trying.

My parents, seeing a new opportunity to promote a "good" cause, joined up with the ERD, or Equestrian Rights Division. The ERD teamed up with the Unified Earth Government to promote peace and harmony between the Equestrians and Humans, which gave birth to the Vanguard project. Basically, all of the members of the ERD were to undergo Conversion.

My parents decided they should participate in the project, so along with them, I had to get ponified. The Vanguard Project was invented to basically encourage others into joining them or supporting the Equestrians. I only hope that my contribution wasn’t in vain.

When my parents told me about Vanguard, I flipped.

__________

“Nathan! Can you come here for a minute? We need to talk to you.” I was reluctant to put my controller down, but I convinced myself that whatever they wanted would be quick and I’d be back to playing in no time. I paused my video game and walked downstairs into the living room.

“What’s up?” I plopped myself down on the couch adjacent to them, and waited for a response. My dad looked stern, and very firm, like something heavily was weighing on his mind. As for my mom, she fidgeted a little.

“We have some news. This might be a bit unexpected, but-“ I cut her off,

“What happened? Is it grandpa? Is he okay?” She smiled awkwardly and continued to hold my dad’s hand tighter.

“Yes, he’s fine. That’s not what I was going to say…” She searched for her words, but couldn’t find them. My father broke in,

“See, son, we’ve agreed to participate in a certain project, called Vanguard. As members of the ERD, we will be undergoing conversion with the rest of the members. It’s like a mass protest in order to help out with the Bureaus getting more participants. Hopefully, by doing this, we’ll be viewed as pioneers, and hopefully more will be encouraged to sign up. We need your help.” I had sunken into the deep couch, the blood drained from my face and my inner peace all but gone. My parents were going to get converted? And what did they mean by ‘help’?

“We need you to get converted with us. It will show that people of all ages are up to the cause. Not a lot of the New Roanoke ERD district has any children, so we need all the help we can get… I-“ I cut her off,

“So… You want me to get converted… With you? I… Um… No… No, I can’t…” I was sitting on the edge of the couch now, deep in thought.

“Nathan, it’s for a good cause. Please, this means a lot to us.” Well, they were right about the unexpected part. I knew that they supported Equestria and all, but… Was this really happening? Right here and now? I knew that it would have to happen someday, but I really thought that I would have more time to prepare. More time…

“I can’t… Not yet, anyways. What if they find a way to close the Portal, you know? Or if they finish terraforming Mars before the last day? What if-“ Jittery now, I began to think about all of the possibilities. What if we all got converted and then a week later it turned out that they figured out how to close the portal? Or if we somehow found a way to escape to Mars? I didn’t want this, not at all.

“Nate, you know that they won’t finish the terraforming for a long, long time... As for the portal itself, we have no idea. For now, it’s safest we take the necessary precautions. Besides, I’ve heard it’s beautiful over there! Once we get on the other side of that Portal, there will be no regrets. Only the future!” They were beginning to sound like fanatics, and they were.

“But what about MY dreams?! MY goals for the future, and MY friends? There’s no place there for me, you know that. There, it's… BORING! Boring, day after hum-drum day! Besides, conversion takes away any of my lingering dreams and careers. They won’t let a Pony within 10 miles of a Human starship! So, no!” I was stomping about the living room, preaching like a madman. To my furthered frustration, my mother and father only chuckled lightly, “What? Why are you laughing?”

“It’s required. All family members of ERD representatives have to comply. We don’t really understand why, but it’s being enforced by the UEG, so… When we first signed on, we didn’t know that you would have to come as well. We were originally going to just give you the option, and leave you out of it if we could. We were afraid you were going to respond this way… We already asked, and it’s final. I’m so, so sorry Nathan... Look, it really isn’t that bad. I… Nathan?” I was already gone. I slammed my bedroom door shut, and slowly lowered myself onto my bed. I stared blankly at the wall, unblinking.

__________

Over the next week, we didn’t speak much. I argued again with them, pleaded for them to leave me be, but apparently it was the rules. When the ERD partnered with the government, they all of the sudden gained the authority to do whatever they wanted. Apparently, for Vanguard to work more effectively, the ERD automatically made all children and siblings of existing members participate in Vanguard with little to no consent with the individuals themselves. That’s the government for you, always turning their back to this kind of thing. Apparently it was in the contract that all ERD members signed, and many failed to notice that particular portion of it.

Once inside the bureau, I found myself confined to my room, too depressed to go anywhere besides meals and classes. I was one of the first to get converted out of the ERD, before my parents.

__________

The heavy metal door of one of the many conversion rooms slid open with a hiss, and I found myself being led inside by a Bright orange unicorn. I had met her before, her name was Amber Sky. She was nice enough, I suppose. We met her on the first day of our arrival, as she was the overseer of A wing. The Bureau building itself was huge, consisting of 5 different wings. They built these places large for a reason; eventually, they would house thousands of people in the waning days of the Portal. As of now, it was considerably empty.

Before coming here, Ponies were a foreign sight to me. They’re rare in Roanoke, and they rarely ever come out in public. It was saddening, really; The thought of being cooped up inside all the time and not being able to show your face in public without being ridiculed. At least in Equestria there wouldn’t be any of that. I wouldn’t have to worry about crazy terrorists forcing me to be a hermit.

Even though I had the promise of a better life there, I wasn’t certain. I cried the first night that I came here, wanting to continue the life I had on Earth, but my parents were committed. I was committed and I hadn’t even known it. I thought about going to them, the ERD, to give them a piece of my mind. In the end though, it was my parents who stopped me. They did look sorry, they really did, but… They also looked so happy. They were happy about abandoning their life here; abandoning their careers, and starting a new life without any regard of me. They knew rightly well that I would not be happy in Equestria, and that I would resent the new life that I was going to be forced to live, but they didn’t care.

That’s what made me cry that night. The fact that they didn’t care sent me over the edge. I cared about them, I cared about all of them. Every single human soul in this building would be surrendering their lives at the promise of paradise. It was the easy way out.

And now I was trapped inside of my gleaming white tomb screaming to get out. This was the place where I was going to die. Right there, on that table, my life would be over with. The simplicity, the swiftness… It made me angry to just give up like that. Except, in my mind, I really didn’t have much of a choice.

After taking my clothes off, I waited anxiously atop of the sophisticated looking white table. Everything in the bureau was white: the floors, walls, ceilings, furniture, appliances, beds... you name it. The lack of color, or rather the presence of all colors, soothed me somehow. I gripped the edges of the table, my hands trembling along with every other part of my body. The mare trotted back with a silver case lodged within her jaw, which she promptly laid upon another table. With a click and hiss, the case popped open, revealing a swirling purple fluid contained inside of a translucent half-metal cylinder.

"Now, Nate, Would you like an I.V. drip, or do you want it orally? Some like the drip, but personally, I recommend taking it orally. It's a lot faster." She continued to smile wide eyed at me, which was saying something for a pony.

"I guess I'll go with the drink..." Nodding, she returned with the same translucent half-metal cylinder, only now there was a spot at the top to drink out of.

“Alright! Here you go, Nathaniel, bottoms up!” She was only trying to be nice, but her cheerful demeanor greatly contrasted my inner thoughts. With a quaking hand, I grasped hold of the warm cylinder and held it in front of my face. The glimmering purple liquid refracted light off of its metallic surface. A combination of the finest human technology and Equestrian magic leaded to this: suicide. Well, at least that’s what it was to me. To some it was a new beginning, to me, it was my death sentence.

“Well,” I took one last glance at the strange high-tech cylindrical vial, “Let’s get this over with.” I tilted it up, and allowed the violent liquid a quick descent into my throat. Only then, I realized what exactly I had just done. I finally did it. After all the waiting and delaying, there was no turning back. The empty vial slipped out of my hand and clattered on the floor below. As my senses began to fail, so did my sanity. I sent messages to my legs to run; to escape something that was inescapable. I tried to grasp hold of the table, but I only pawed at the edge.

I wanted to scream, to curse myself for my actions, but no sound came from my mouth. Nor did sound come from anywhere. Only a distinctive ringing. I couldn’t tell what was going on anymore, as my vision was beyond the point of practical perceptibility, and as the last traces of my consciousness slipped away, I felt a numb trickle on my cheek.

A ringing. Not the same as before, but still as distinctive. Only this time, instead of just hearing, I felt it throughout my body. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move an inch, really. You know that feeling you get when you don’t move for a while? You kind of lose track of where your parts are. Like now, I couldn’t tell where in the world my arms or legs were. The ringing came again, more intense this time. Suddenly, I felt my ears give way to ambiance, and the ringing was gone, replaced by an annoying snapping. I felt an odd sensation on both sides of my head, but I was oblivious to what was going on.

“Auditory and Somatosensory response normal.” A low murmur came from somewhere, and my gravitational orientation was still developing so I couldn’t pinpoint the direction the voice came from.

“Nathan? Can you hear me?” I let out a low groan.

“Erm… Yes.”

“Can you open your eyes for me?” My mind still a blur, I followed her orders blindly. Realizing that I had gained control of my eyelids, I slowly lifted them open. I instantly recoiled from the brightness of the room, but allowed them adjustment.

“Wait… What happened? What… Oh…” As my eyesight reached nominal perception, I gained a grip upon the situation. At first, I thought it was just my nose, but as my vision became increasingly vivid, I began to doubt my judgment. It was blue; it was a light blue, bright cyan, at that. Long, obscuring… That wasn’t a nose at all! Well, it was a nose, but not my nose. Well, it was my nose, but… Whatever. The more I stared at it, cross eyed, the more I realized.

“Y-Yeah I c-can see... Am… Did it work? Am I a… A…” I didn’t want to say what I was thinking, and I really didn’t want to think about it either. That cheery mare laughed, and came into view, blocking out the blinding overhead lights.

“A Pony? Of course, silly! What else would you be?” She giggled again, but I only remained contempt. I would be a Human, not a Pony, that’s what I’d be. Like I said, a new life. She acted like I had never even been anything different, and it depressed the hell out of me. I felt the table lowering. Soon enough, I was at ground level, lying on my side.

“Can you move?” I curled my fingers, only they didn’t move. I felt something curl, but it wasn’t my fingers. I shifted my head to get a better view, and a lock of purple hair threatened to obscure my vision. Purple… Hair? Jesus, this was getting extremely weird. My mind being used to a human body, it startled me quite a bit. When I moved my neck, it felt longer, and dexterous. Everything felt numb; my body encased in that same cyan fur that covered that thing in front of my face. The first thing that I really noticed was the tail. Oh mother of god, the tail just threw me off entirely. Not that it hadn’t been expected or anything, but just its mere presence sent me reeling. I looked over myself: four hoofed legs, long body, and the tail… The goddam tail. My brow furrowed again as I realized that I was still completely naked, only protected from my bare skin by my suit of furry isolation.

I lifted my left arm, and in response, the left leg of the creature I saw before me lifted. I took note of how everything moved. Elbow kind of high up, but at least it still moved the same way. I moved my wrist, and a little below the halfway mark on the leg, the end of it moved. It was kind of like having an extended hand or something. Curling my fingers, the end of it curled. It bent further than fingers could previously. I gently planted both hoofed appendages on the ground, raising myself up. It was quite easy to lift myself, but it was definitely harder to get accustomed to the position my forelegs were relative to everything else. They were technically in the same place relative to a human skeleton, but everything was all stretched and rearranged. God, it was weird.

My back legs were more of a challenge; my knees felt higher than they were supposed to be, and everything just felt extremely compressed, and my foot had been extended beyond what I thought possible. When I finally achieved standing, it felt like I was standing on my fingers and toes. Albeit a bit wobbly, I managed to stay standing, even if I was frozen in place by my fear of moving again. Every move I made though sickened me. I didn’t want this; I never wanted this.

I was kind of expecting Amber Sky to comment on my ill mood, but she didn’t. Normally, I would think that whoever went through this process willingly would be completely ecstatic and satisfied. I, however, definitely was not in a state of celebration. I honestly didn’t know what to think. I mean, it happened, the thing that I was dreading, but now that it had past, I just really didn’t know what to do with myself. I had no predictions, courses of action, or any ideas of what I would do after I got out of this death chamber. I only followed the mare’s orders, and anxiously awaited my departure.

Was it so easy? I mean, how was I going to do this? I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to go back to sleep. To go back to sleep and never wake up, ever, ever again. You know that feeling you get when you’re playing a video game, and when you die, you have to go back to the start of the level? All of the sudden, you lose interest in the game. You still want to beat it, but you don’t want to go back through the level again. It was so depressing, really. Thinking about video games at a time like this, I mean.

“Imagine walking as a Human again. Your bipedal walking cycle. Before, you didn’t have to really think about walking, you just knew. Now, with that knowledge of the process of walking, your body does the work for you. Soon you’ll be able to do it manually, but for now you’re stuck in automatic.” I wanted to scream at her, or to tell her to shut up, as my thoughts were beginning to gnaw at me. I didn’t want to think about walking right now, I didn’t want to think at all! But, I did what I was told, and took a few steps. I did fall, but the second time I tried, I was a bit more successful.

“Alright. That should be good enough for now. I’ve checked your vitals and the conversion went swimmingly. One problem, however. Are you feeling alright, Nathan? Your serotonin levels are below normal. Is something wrong?” At last, someone or somepony ventures to ask about my troublesome state of mind. But now, I just wanted to be left alone. I needed to think. To lie down and think… So many things were hitting me all at once, and it was difficult to even ponder my situation.

“May I go lay down? I… Want to think. I need to. Surely you understand, Amber Sky. I won’t be participating in my own big reveal tonight.” She frowned at this, but nodded in understanding.

“Conversion takes a lot out of people, especially those like you. You’re a thinker, Nathan, and that’s a good thing. Most just come through here, so excited and all, and are so anxious to go and tell everypony about it… Look, I’ll sign you up for your classes and have your new schedule sent over to your room tomorrow morning. If you haven’t already noticed, you’re an Earth Pony, so you’ll be given some optional classes. I hear your group plans on staying here, so you can visit this Bureau anytime if you want some extra education.” Staying… Here? I thought we were going to Equestria… That’s what my parents told me…

“Wait… Where’d you hear that from? That we’re staying?” She looked surprised, as if I should’ve known.

“Honey… The Vanguard applicants have all been signed up for Basic Conversion. The ERD surely can’t just go sending all the members to Equestria, because then they’d be without a purpose. The ERD is an organization that promotes Conversion, and they wouldn’t be able to do any good on the other side. They… They never told you?” Oh, well that just changes everything now, doesn’t it? I was beginning to feel light headed.

“I really think I need to go lay down… Thank you Amber.” That last part I croaked out, on the verge of tears. She left me alone, and respected my decision, but I could tell that it was torturing her. She wasn’t exactly the bureau counselor, but she was still a caring individual. Struggling to pull myself down the hall, the more everything bothered me. I was short now, only just about 4 feet. Feet, I didn’t have those anymore either. I had hooves; flat rounded things that made a horrible noise when walking. Every time I took a step, it only reminded me of the exact thing that I didn’t want to become. Knowing that those hoofsteps were my own was all the more terrifying. As I passed by a mirror wall, I froze. It confirmed everything: Huge purple eyes, pointy ears, cyan fur, purple mane and tail, four legs, hooves, pony…

When I got to my room, I was practically sobbing. The more I thought about my future, I came to realize that I didn’t have one. What Amber told me shattered any hope I had left in my life, and now I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself.

I’d been given a single room the day I arrived here, per request. Rooming with a conversion obsessed idiot would’ve driven me insane if I wasn’t already on the brink of it. My lights were off, and I didn’t bother turning them on as I lumbered over to my bed and crawled in.

Okay, so I’m a convert now. A newfoal. I wasn’t exactly open to the idea, but I wasn’t completely resentful of it either. Ever since the Bureau’s opened, I had been fascinated by it all, but I still had my own future to think about. Ever since I was little, I’ve had a big dream: To be a captain of a Starship. A bit ambitious, I know, but that is what I truly dreamt of. As a kid, I used to go out on top of this big hill near my house and watch as ships undocked at the spaceport and shot up into the endless blue sky. As of now, we’ve only settled our own Solar System, but what does the future hold? I wanted to see the binary star system of Alpha Centauri, or the orange sun Epsilon Eridani. To visit new worlds and colonize them, and to grow as a species.

I’m still a kid, I suppose, being 15. But I grew logical, and realized that it was a fat chance. But I still had dreams. The mere possibility of it gave me hope, but now, seeing as what I’ve become, destroys it all. It wouldn’t be my species anymore, it would be theirs. I would be participating in something that wasn’t rightfully mine. Besides, they wouldn’t let a Pony within 100 meters of an interplanetary vessel, much less an interstellar one. There was so much left for me to do as a Human, and now that I’m a Pony, my life has all of the sudden become extremely limited, and it hurts.

I curled my fingers, and the same sensation that occurred in the conversion room came back. One big finger. Should I have found peace or distress in the fact that we were staying on Earth? I mean, I would be a social outcast, but I’d at least still have the extranet, television, video games, and so on. I’d be able to continue my Earthly education up until the Portal apex date, where we’d be forced into Equestria. All of the Humans will either have to leave, die, or get converted. That was the thing about all of this; we could leave. We could all hop on a spaceship and just leave. It would be a pretty sucky existence, living on some moon or Mars until the interstellar drive was invented, and even then who knows whether or not there’s another Earth on our doorstep? That was the thing for me. I didn’t have to get converted. No one has to in order to survive. It’s just for the people who want to live in harmony, I suppose. For the people who want to live without a care in the world. A simpler existence. I, for one, was not one of them.

I did want to be something greater. I wanted to care, to not give up on existence and progress. I wanted to have problems to solve. Does that make me weird? I wanted to take the hard way, and avoid the easy way altogether.

I mean, being a Pony… Just the mention of the word makes me cringe, is like being reduced to an animal, especially in this world. Sure, Ponies were sapient creatures who evolved despite being quadrupeds, and they’ve developed quite a lot, but they definitely aren’t respected as such here. I wouldn’t be respected as a sapient being, but as an animal.

“An animal…” I croaked. I was crying again, now harder than before. I was a goddam freak, a cyan pastel horse. Every time I moved, every time I tried to grasp something, it reminded me of my lost life. My death, in other words. I started to think about the things that I wouldn’t be able to do anymore. I was an Earth Pony, the one without really anything special. Now, a native might argue, but as for me, this was probably the worst possible outcome.

Before, I was a video game enthusiast, I guess you could say. Name it, I’ve played it. They were something I could really find myself in, and they were my absolute passion. But now, they were out of the question. Come to think of it, all of my hobbies involved hands. I loved to play guitar, the piano, and the saxophone. I was actually first chair sax in my high school band, come to think of it. I loved to play the saxophone, I really did. Something about it just made me feel at peace with myself. Only now, though, I wouldn’t be able to feel that anymore. For the extranet, Martin Industries was developing some kind of neural link for Ponies to be able to use it with ease, but the fact that I had to use some sort of device to use the extranet made me angrier than it should have.

“Goddammit!” I cried into my pillow. I wanted to get out. To escape from this body. I was disgusted with every movement I made. I could feel having that plume of hair at the lower end of my back. I could feel my contorted legs and the effects that the fur had on my body. It made everything softer, and more comfortable, but in my mind it felt like millions of needles poking every inch of my body. I could feel my lack of hands. That was what made me who I was. My hands were everything to me, and now they were gone, never to come back.

“Nathan?” A familiar female voice invaded my distressed mind and darkened room. I tried to stop myself from crying, but I couldn’t, “Oh, honey…” I felt her move closer. At this, I lashed out.

“G-go away, m-mom!” I was shivering now, not from the cold, but my own despair. I didn’t want her to go, I don’t know why I said that, but I guess I was just overwhelmed with emotion. I felt her weight displace the bed, and a hand was laid upon my covered back, “Why d-didn’t you t-tell me? That we’re staying here?” She sighed at this, and thought about it for moment.

“Honestly, I’m not sure anymore. We planned to tell you sooner, but we thought it would be kind of a surprise. Aren’t you happy that you’ll see your friends again? Besides, we wouldn’t leave Grandpa, you know that.”

“Yes, t-that would be good…” I smiled briefly, “But here… We’ll be f-freaks... I’m a freak…” God, I was a mess. I felt a torrent of tears descend down my furry cheeks as my mom began to stroke my mane. It felt pleasant, for some reason that I can’t describe, but at the time it only made everything worse.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Nate. We’ll get out of here, live our lives the best we can, and then we’ll move to Equestria when our work with the ERD is over with. Nathan, I need you to be okay, for us. For Dad and I. Everything will get better, you have to trust me.” I didn’t know what to say. My Mom, she was trying. She knew how upset I was; she knew that I thought my future was over with. She probably didn’t really know what to do, to be honest, with a case like mine.

“We’ll see…” I began to cry harder, and dug my muzzle into my soaked pillow.

__________

That night was pretty bad for me. Conversion just obliterated my mind, I think. Put everything into perspective. I ended up leaving five days later, and Vanguard was over with. I still want to go rant outside the ERD building downtown, but it would be in vain. Nothing to do now I suppose. We left on Thursday, three days ago. It was a pretty rough day for me. In all actuality, it was a pretty rough day for everyone there.

__________

“All set to go, Nate?” My mother trotted into my dimly lit room with a beaming smile on her muzzle. She was converted soon after me, and the fact that she was a Pegasus frustrated me a bit. Not as much as my dad though, as he turned out as a Unicorn. Lucky bastard. Ever since the other day, I’ve felt like a loner. Everypony was so happy about it all, and it almost sickened me. They weren’t even going to Equestria, and they were ecstatic.

I sat alone at the lunch tables in the cafeteria, alone in the classrooms, and especially alone in my room. Even before the conversion, I’ve always been, to some degree, a reclusive person. I liked to be alone; to be alone with myself and my thoughts, alone with my video games and musical artistry. The only place where I felt like I could do anything against my reclusive nature was on the Extranet. On the Extranet, anyone can be anyone, and everyone can be someone, if you catch my drift.

When they finally told me the ‘surprise’ my parents gave me my Datapad back, along with my wallet and other belongings. When you went to Equestria, you had to give up all of your Electronics and Earthly possessions like Datapads and such. They let you keep pictures and memories and stuff, but nothing advanced or directly relating to Earth. I was happy to have it all back, but I was still at a loss on how to use the thing with hooves. I found out that I could use the tip of my hoof or nose to use it, but anything that involved more than three operations at once was pretty much off limits.

I still managed to cry every night just thinking about it all. Ever since I was really young, I’ve always been very emotional. I’m able to control my feelings well, but that doesn’t affect how much I actually feel. A couple of nights ago, I just kind of stared at myself in my bathroom mirror for an hour. I don’t remember why exactly, or what propelled me to do it, but I did. It almost drove me insane, really, but I somehow held onto reality long enough until today, when we left to go home.

That was one of the worst parts about it too, the fact that we were just going home. I mean, I would’ve been happy, but after going through all of this, virtually for nothing now, is fairly angering. They make us do all of this, and then we have to go back into the world and live horrible lives until they tell us when we can leave. It was supposed to be for a better cause and all of that, but I found the sacrifice hard to make.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I was sitting on the edge of the bed, not unlike how a Human would sit. I’d been told that laying down flat was the preferred sitting position for newfoals, and I had tried it, but it only made me half disgusted with myself. I sort of had this inner conflict going on, whether or not I should embrace the new ideals and behaviorisms or reject them was a big thing for me. For the most part, I was rejecting most things, like sitting comfortably. Whenever I would say a ponyism, I would instantly try to correct myself, but soon enough it was getting extremely hard to control. It really drove me mad, too.

“Alright, everypony ready to go? We’re all gathering in the main day room.” My father strolled in, levitating several objects with his blasted horn. I almost hated him for that, but I was still thankful one of us got a horn, at least. Things may have turned out harder if he wasn’t a Unicorn. “I got something for you Nate, by the way. I know how difficult this has been for you, so I got something to cheer you up!” One of the objects contained in his green hued magical aura departed from the rest of the items and sailed towards me. I reached out to grab it with my hoof, and a strange sensation passed through me as he released it from his supernatural grasp. Grasping it with my adjacent hoof I stretched the piece of grey cloth out in front of me.

“A hoodie, huh? I didn’t think ponies wore hoodies…” My father only chuckled with that annoyingly loud laugh of his.

“I didn’t either, who would’ve known? Turns out they have a thing for clothes over there.” I gave a brief smile and nod, but I was too interested in the slightly distorted looking hoodie. It looked somewhat human in design, although it was clearly designed for the anatomy of one such as myself. The arms were longer and placed a bit higher up and facing downwards, while the hood itself was longer and more spacious. I quickly tried to put it on, but ended up with it halfway on before I became stuck, and my dad had to pull it the rest of the way with his magic.

For some reason, I felt whole again. This insignificant grey hoodie made me feel powerful and confident for some reason. I think I felt home again for the first time, feeling something familiar like clothes. At that moment, I vowed to never again take the damn thing off, and to keep it on for as long as I lived. I’m insane, I know, but that’s what was going through my mind.

“I like it dad, thanks. It feels… Good. I don’t know if I can explain it.” The two pastel ponies only smiled lovingly and hopefully as I admired my new piece of attire.

“Get your saddle bag and everything and let’s get down to the day room. We’re almost home free!

By the time we reached the day room, Amber Sky was already speaking to the crowd of nearly twenty five newly converted ponies, all gathered around her.

“Ahh, look, new arrivals! Midnight Shimmer, Autumn Gale, and Nathan Frost. Still haven’t picked a name yet, sweetie? You can always change it later on if you aren’t too good at making new names for yourself.” I quietly shook my head. I hadn’t planned on giving the last part of myself away like that. No, I was keeping my name.

“Alright then! You three, you’re with Chaser’s group. Ponies, listen up! I-“ An exhausted looking man burst through the sliding doors on the far side of the room, adorned in the distinctive black and blue armor worn by ConSec.

“Ma’am, we have a problem. May I speak to you in private?” The mare looked dazed, but she hesitantly nodded at the panting soldier and followed him through the parting crowd. Bewildered, everypony just stood with blank expressions crossing their snouts.

“EVERYPONY! IF YOU COULD MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE MAGLEV PLATFORM ON FLOOR 2B, I’LL BE THERE SHORTLY! DO NOT BOARD UNTIL IT HAS BEEN DEEMED SAFE FOR TRANSPORT!” Safe for transport? What was going on? Right after that, a voice crackled overhead.

“ATTENTION ALL NEW ROANOKE CONVERSION BUREAU PARTICIPANTS AND STAFF, WE ARE SORRY TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE GONE INTO LOCKDOWN DUE TO THREATS TO PUBLIC SAFETY. ALL VANGUARD CONVERTEES ARE TO REPORT TO MAGLEV PLATFORM 2.” After that, the monotone male voice repeated the same thing over and over again. Rushing over to the windows, I set my gaze upon the raging crowd of humans outside of the gates. Hundreds- No, thousands of people were chanting, thrusting signs into the air, and assaulting the bureau itself with anything they had. My limbs became light, and my breathing became ragged.

“Nathan!” My mom grasped me with a wing, “We have to go.” Nodding, I wearily followed her along with the others to the rows of elevators. Once we arrived on floor 2b, I was nearly hyperventilating when we exited. What if they got past the guards? Somehow broke into the building and killed us all? What if they got into the MagLev station and were just waiting to kill us once we blindly walked into their trap? The scenarios played over and over in my mind, and by the time Amber Sky got to us, I was on the verge of tears.

“Alright Vanguard, we’re going to get you out of here safely. The MagLev lines are free of the rioters, and lead away from the building. This particular train will take you underground and your next stop will be Campbell station, which is in the old city. From there, you’ll be handed over to the police, and they'll get you home safe.” On all sides, we were surrounded by the ConSec soldiers, part of the elite security division of the Conversion Bureaus, and the UEG. When the MagLev arrived, they escorted us aboard, and rode with us all the way to Campbell station.

“What’s wrong, sweetie? We’ll be fine!” My mom tried to reassure me, but it didn’t work the way she wanted.

“You don’t know that, and that’s not all… Are we going to be treated like this until we leave? Are we going to be living targets until we finally move out? If so, I’m not sure if I can live that kind of life.”

“That was just a regular riot, Nathan. We hear about them all the time. Besides, no one in their right mind would just walk up in broad daylight and kill you! Everything’s going to be fine, Nathan. You need to stop worrying so much.” I hated her right then. Everything she said was a lie. She knew very well that that riot was aimed at us, the ERD. She was so happy too, like she didn’t even care. None of them cared about anything, they were just happy to be ponies. The little pastel horses that just didn’t give a damn.

__________

When we got home, everything was right where we had left it. Before we left, my mother had stated that the Bureau would take care of all of it, but in reality it had been a lie. My room was exactly how I left it; Bed unkempt and messy, video game controller lazily thrown to the ground, drawers partially open, and my wireless earphones strewn about my desk. My computer was off, its transparent screen allowing me to see the blank wall behind it. It all made me very sad actually, but I tried to shut it out of my mind. Instead, I managed to open the bottom drawer on my desk and pull out my journal. I hadn’t written in it for a very long time, and I honestly didn’t understand why I did what I did, but I began writing with my mouth like they showed me back at the bureau. It was easy enough, but my mouth writing was pretty horrendous.

I sat there the rest of the night, just writing things. Eventually I passed out at my desk, pencil still in my mouth and everything, and when I woke up, there was a huge puddle of drool on my desk. I guess you could say that that would be a pretty memorable moment.

As of now though, I was doing the very same thing that I was doing three nights ago: writing in my old journal that I hadn’t written in since I was 8. Only now though, I was crying again like I did every night. I never pinpointed what exactly brought it on, but I could only assume that it was all from the accumulated experiences of my few days as a Pony. I slid off the chair, landing wobbly on my hooves, and turned my lamp off. Lazily, I hopped in my bed, and slid in. I haven’t really gotten used to the entire fur thing yet, so it always felt so odd doing that.

Being 1:00 in the morning, my body was tired, but my mind was more alive than ever. Tomorrow would be unpredictable, and my mind constantly ran simulations of events that could possibly play out. Sadly, I didn’t get any sleep, due to my overactive mind and worry that plagued me. As the night drifted on, so did my thoughts, jumping from one thing to another, never halting, never allowing me rest.

__________

Chapter One: I Hate Mondays

The Conversion Bureau: Project Vanguard

Chapter One: I Hate Mondays

__________

Have you ever wondered what causes you to wake up? I mean, have you ever pinpointed what causes your mind to bring itself into consciousness? I suppose it’s a natural process, but what if there’s something else involved? In my case, it was the wind. Somewhere in my room, I heard the wind buffet against my curtains. That was the event that marked my consciousness for me; the event that wrought me from my dream world, and thrust me into the searing reality.

My pointed ears swiveled toward the source of the disturbance, and I found myself wanting to cut them right off the top of my head. That really annoyed me, when my ears did that. They always oriented themselves toward noises, even if I didn’t want to focus on them. It was automatic, and for some reason, it really pissed me off.

When I opened my resisting eyes, they were met with the still rotating ceiling fan. I liked to keep it cold in here, especially now. I hadn’t honestly cared much about the temperature of my room before, but now I was strict about it. It had to be cold. I don’t know if it was because of the fur coat or what, but that’s how it had to be.

I painfully craned my neck to look at my clock. 5:43 A.M. Sighing in disgust, I lazily dug my head into my pillow once more. I wasn’t supposed to wake up for another hour and a half, so I was pretty satisfied with being able to get more sleep.

__________

“beee-beee-beeep! Beee-beee-beeep! Beee-beee-beeep!” The incessant alarm of my clock invaded the stark silence of my peaceful bedroom. I let out a disgruntled groan, and proceeded to, with effort, eliminate the source of the evil noise that had so rudely interrupted my slumber.

“Egn… Go away…” I swatted at it with my hoof, trying to find the button. After many attempts, I finally managed to hit my target. Sighing, I laid back down in a futile attempt to drift back to sleep, but I knew that I couldn’t. I had school today, and being late would’ve drawn more attention than I wanted. Opening my eyes again, I managed a glance at the clock, whose digital numbers read out ‘7:01’. Blinking revealed that it had advanced a minute further. Picking up my foreleg, I held it in front of my face. Same cyan coat and hooves. Grimacing, I muttered to myself,

“Time is consistent… Not a dream…” I’d been doing that a lot for the past few days; I continuously performed reality checks, just to make sure everything was, in fact, real. I still barely believed it, but I’m a logical person, and I knew that it was real. It had to be real, but I didn’t want to believe it.

It’s been days now already, and I’ve already gotten somewhat used to it. I don’t want to get used to it, and whenever I acknowledge the fact that I’m getting used to it, it only makes me feel worse. God, I wonder how many other ponies feel this way. Converts, I mean. Are there others who resent all of it? Sure, Vanguard was worldwide, and there are bound to be others similar to me, but sometimes it just feels like I’m the only one.

Yawning, I managed to stretch awkwardly in all directions before throwing myself out of bed. I had to remember to land on all fours, or I would’ve been in for a bad morning. It happened to me the morning after my conversion; I instinctively stood up on my hind legs when I got out of bed, and not a moment later I received a face full of floor. This time I was wary of my reality, and landed safely on four legs.

Showers were supposed to make everything better right? Well, not in my case, apparently. Washing my mane was easy enough, save for having to brace myself against the side of the shower. Everything else however became a real challenge. Ponies didn’t have to bathe as often as Humans did due to their lack of oily skin, and I can see why such a trait would be beneficial. By the time I was done, my mouth tasted like the inside of a shampoo bottle, and I was already exhausted.

Grabbing the towel in my teeth, I began to dry myself off. It was a lot harder now, due to having fur and all, but it was still necessary. After I finally gave up, I rose up onto my hind legs and gazed into the bathroom mirror. My mane was the same sharp purple it has been, along with the bright cyan coat. My parents seemed to inherit their previous hair colors, but mine had changed entirely. It was like it was the same in every aspect besides color, and I’ve been finding comfort in that. I still had my hair, it was just a different color, that was all. I hoped.

My eyes had changed color too. They were the same color as my hair, albeit a bit darker. It was all so very strange; having your eye color permanently changed like that was like having an eye transplant or something. It’s hard to find a lot of comfort in having your body changed so dramatically in the blink of an eye. Could the others really have come out of there so ecstatic and confident? Weren’t they at all bothered by the fact that they didn’t have fingers, or the fact that they had a tail? After all, it wasn’t like getting a haircut… Or was it? Frowning, which felt weird now, I returned my front hooves to the floor.

Crossing my eyes at my rather bedraggled mane, my brow furrowed.

“Fuck it, I don’t even care. Don’t even care…” My looks were the last thing I really cared about at the moment. Hell, does it even matter? I mean, I can’t really look good for girls anymore, and the thought of me being attracted to other ponies… It made my head hurt. Before, I always cared about how I looked. My appearance mattered a lot to me back then, but now, there were so many other things that I had to be mindful of.

Walking into the kitchen, I kept my head held low, and attempted to withhold my enthusiasm for the day to come. Dad was sitting at the table, as usual. He looked funny sitting like a human at the table like that, reading whatever news article he pulled up on the table top. After awkwardly sitting down in the chair across from him, he looked up from the interface and smiled gently. It was one of those smiles that meant, “You have nothing to worry about, everything’s going to be okay.” Unable to give him an understanding nod, I only sighed and leaned forward onto the table.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you? I mean, we could stay with you on the train, if you don’t want to be alo-“ I cut him off,

“No dad, I’ll be fine… It’s not the train I’m worried about.” Leaning back, I crossed my forelegs, “It’s just… I don’t know how my teachers will react. Or my friends for that matter… I mean, I’ve told Chandler already, and he’s actually meeting me this morning, but… Everypon-, I mean, everyone who lives here is pretty biased on the whole conversion thing, and most opinions aren’t that of acceptance. Dad, the kids at my school hate the ponies, and I’m no exceptio-“

“Wafflths and a daithy bithcut foh yoo, Nathe!” With the plate lodged within her mouth, her words became jumbled. The plate she sat before me lacked something that I often missed now: Meat. Usually, if I was going to eat waffles, I’d have bacon with them, not a daisy biscuit. I thanked her with a quick glance, and proceeded to lazily consume my waffles.

At least the waffles were the same. Well, they did taste slightly different, but it wasn’t a monumental change. I haven’t even been near meat for the past week, and it’s really starting to unnerve me. Before, my carnivorous nature basically ruled me. Sure, I’d eat salads and stuff, but I always had to have chicken mixed in. Now, because I can’t eat anymore meat, it only makes me hate this godforsaken body even more. Oh, what I’d do to have one last chicken biscuit…

My longing was interrupted by my dad, once again.

“You know, you should really start using your mouth for more things. I mean, I have magic, but it’s harder than I thought it would be. Hooves aren’t that bad for picking things up, but your mouth works better, especially for eating. More sanitary.” Frowning, I looked down at the piece of waffle curled up in my hoof. He was right: My mouth would work better for this type of thing. However, I was still determined to keep everything that I had left of a past life. As long as I could grasp things with my former hands and fingers, I would do so.

“Yeah, I guess I should. Still though, I’d like to keep a little bit of my humanity.” I said condescendingly. That familiar feeling welled up in my stomach once again. That feeling of disapproval: the feeling of my father’s eyes gazing upon me with pity. Or was it disappointment? It was hard to tell with that horse face of his.

We didn’t talk anymore after that. I simply finished my waffles, and trashed the daisy biscuit. Well, I trashed the daisy part, but not the biscuit itself. Biscuits are good. Daisies are flowers. Who eats flowers? Not me. I mean, they’re good and all, but… They’re flowers… I’m not sure I want to add flowers into my already messed up diet. At least I wasn’t at the point where my parents were force feeding me hay and oats.

We lived in what used to be a suburb of the old city, but now it was more like a cross breed of the two. There were suburban homes and friendly looking streets, but all of it was overshadowed by the blossoming urban landscape that was creeping into the formerly peaceful neighborhood. Maglev lines crisscrossed above, the occasional financial hub, and the few rising skyscrapers of the expanding city were an example of that. Actually, I kind of liked it. I really liked the city; the skyscrapers, the MagLev trains, the amount of people… All of it made me feel at ease for some reason. It was an example of Human ingenuity, and one of the greatest. The city exploded in only twenty years, and it was still expanding even faster.

Even though I’m a pony, it still grants me soothe. The fact that Earth is still growing, even with the presence of the Portal gives me hope. One day, I may even be standing on two legs at the helm of a starship, leaving Earth in search of a new planet to call home. That, however, was a dream. Heh, what am I thinking? Me, being human again? That was probably impossible. I mean, if they came up with some kind of Humanification serum or something… No… No…

Sitting down on my bed, I looked over at my closet which I hadn’t opened for the past three days. I had no need to, now. All of the sudden, that familiar sensation ran through me. The headache, which ended in ghost pain, began, and the only thing I could do was close my eyes and hope for it to go away. Any time I even considered dwelling on my broken aspirations the threat of a painful headache warded me off, but sometimes I allowed it to happen anyway.

Pushing those feelings aside for now, I rose to my godforsaken hooves and walked over to my computer chair where my beloved grey hoodie resided. God, I loved that thing. Something about it made me happy, you know? I’m not sure if it’s the fact that it was just clothing, or something else, but I didn’t really care. All I cared about was that it was something to hold onto, and it comforted me. Putting it on became a second nature now.

“Huh?” I glanced over at my flashing Datapad as a message appeared on its surface.

You’re coming, right? Those hooves aren’t going to impair your walking, are they? Just hurry up, I don’t want to be late for that bitch’s class any more than I have to. Get to Washington station now, or I’ll have to cut your little pony balls off.

Jeez, well he’s in a bad mood this morning. Looking down at my datapad, I took note of the time.

“7:30? Horseapples! I mean… never mind.” I picked up my data pad in my teeth, and shoved it into my saddlebag that had been lazily tossed onto my floor the day I got home. We were all given complementary saddlebags when we left the bureau, along with a few other pony-related necessities. It turns out that Human shampoo is somewhat harmful to the ponies. Who knew?

I managed to get out the door around 7:35, but that meant that I would have to hurry. The station wasn’t far from my house, but if I didn’t get there before 7:50, I’d have to wait another fifteen minutes before the next one arrived. As I galloped through the streets cluttered with the occasional athletic woman jogging, or annoyed husband walking a dog, I received several eye popping stares from each of them. Most of them have probably never even seen a pony before, and their reactions were appropriate, but it did nothing to calm my nerves.

At this point, I realized that I actually hadn’t left my house in over three days. I hadn’t even been outside since the HLF riot, which took place over three days prior. Once we had gotten off at Campbell station, each family or group was escorted home via NRPD vehicles. Ever since the portal, new laws have been popping up all over the place. Here, Ponies were prohibited to be outside during riots and heightened HLF activity. This wasn’t exactly a Roanoke law, but rather an Equestrian one, enacted by Celestia herself. Before now, the last Human I saw was of the NRPD.

Washington Station wasn’t the busiest station out there, but it was up there with them. Being the heart of the East Roanoke Transit Area, it was filled to the brim with busy humans. Not being used to my unimpressive height that I’ve recently been reduced to, I absent mindedly began to wade through the sea of people. I quickly realized that it was a fairly stupid decision, after becoming trapped within. Before, my height allowed me an equal vantage point with the rest of most humans in a crowd, but now I was the height equivalent of a seven year old.

“Watch where you’re going, horse!” Horse? I wasn’t a horse…

“What’s one of those… things, doing here? Doesn’t the RTA have some kind of Anti-Pony policy?” Lowering my head, I pressed on through the jungle of legs in order to reach the platform. I wasn’t exactly used to all of the attention I was getting, and the thing that girl said about the RTA was stupid. The Roanoke Transit Authority didn’t have any rule saying that I couldn’t use the damn train, did they? I was a paying customer!

Shoving the hurtful remarks out of the front of my mind, I weaved my way over to the stairs to the platform where Chandler would be waiting. For years now, we’ve met in the same spot before school. We’d meet here, get on the train, and get off at the school station. The platform that we always went to was the least busy, being one of the lines that ventured a slightly less traveled route. Out of the crowd for now, I let my guard down slightly as I neared the stairs to platform D.

Platform D was on top of the Station where all of the platforms were, but it was far more peaceful than the rest of them. The sun once again greeting me, I sighed, and dreaded being locked up in school all day. Looking around for Chandler, I spotted him on a bench, clearly impatient about having to wait for me. It was funny; you could always tell when he was in a bad mood. He adorned this aggravating signature frown that couldn’t go away even if you tried, and he became extremely pessimistic about everything. It really angered me when he did that, especially if I couldn’t get him out of it.

“Chandler?” My trotting slowed to a hesitant walk as I approached him, bracing myself for his reaction. Before I called him three days ago, he thought that I was moving to Equestria. All of my friends did, and I’m not sure how they took it. Chandler was pretty upset, along with Amy, but Luke… He was pretty angry. I’m not sure whether it was directed at me, or my parents, or the ERD, but he was just flat out mad.

For the first week after I got the news, I didn’t tell any of them, in fear of what they’d say or do. I’m not good with telling things to faces, and I ended up just calling them the night before I left for the bureau. Amy became really emotional when I told her, saying she wanted to go with me and all, but we both knew she wouldn’t be able to. Her parents are strong HLF supporters, and they wouldn’t even let her near me outside of school. God, to be honest, I was really mad after I hung up. Not at her, but at everything else that was working against me.

Chandler didn’t get nearly as emotional as Amy did, but believe me, he was hurting. I could hear it in his voice. He asked me a bunch of questions, like if I was ever going to come back, or try to find a loophole, but all the answers I gave him seemed to be the opposite of what we both wished. Suddenly, we just hung up, just like that. We both really didn’t know what to say, and it was really getting to me. The hopelessness was unparalleled.

Finally, I called up Luke. I knew how much he actually hated the Ponies, and I knew how he would react, but I needed to tell him anyways. As soon as I told him, he broke into this wild unrelenting rant about how “fucked up” all of this was. Some parts I agreed with, some I did not. I mean, he was talking terrorism and xenocide, and that wasn’t something that I agree with. He actually tried to get me to fight, or to run away, and when I said no, he only tried harder. Soon enough, I just hung up. Luke was one of my best friends, but some of the things that went through his head made me want to kill him.

Anyway, the night that I got home, I had some hard decisions to make. After telling all of them that I was leaving, calling them back and saying “I never was leaving, but I’m a pony now, so deal with it,” Was probably not the best thing to do, especially to Luke. I almost regret not telling Amy and Luke before, and now I’d have to do it in person. My brain really knows when to mess up.

The one person that I did call, however, was Chandler. I figured he’d take it better than the others, and I wanted him to meet me this morning so I didn’t have to ride to school alone. In the end, it worked out better than I had hoped.

____________

“Hello? Who’s calling from this number? Shouldn’t it… be deactivated by now?” Taking even breaths, I prepared to make my words perfectly clear.

“Chandler, it’s me, Nate. Look, there’s been a bit of a misunderstand-“

“NATE! Is that really you? You came back, didn’t you! Did they let you leave?” He shouted back through the phone.

“Err, no, not exactly, bu-“

“So they shut it down, then? Vanguard? Oh, I knew it! Nate, the past few days have been hell!”

“Chandler, Calm down! No, they didn’t let me go, and Vanguard wasn’t shut down. But it’s over with, I can tell you that…” A long pause trailed my words.

“So… What then? If Vanguard wasn’t cancelled, and they didn’t let you go, then how are you talking to me? You’re still Human then, right?” I began to grow uncomfortable with what he was saying. I couldn’t think of the right words to say, so I remained silent.

“But… You have to be… So… You’re a Pony now?” There was that word again, the single word that I’ve been running from ever since my conversion.

“Well, yeah… I am. Look, I’ve been lied to. I told you and the others that I was going to Equestria because of some stupid “surprise” as my parents call it. I was apparently the only one who didn’t know, and when I found out, it didn’t go as well as they hoped. Sorry that I made you guys think that I was leaving, but I really, honestly, didn’t know. So yeah, I’m a Pony now, Chandler.” Once again, a long silent pause made my ears begin to ring.

“You’re… A Pony… That’s going to be hard to get used to. So you’re staying here?” He seemed to calm back down, and enter a melancholy state.

“Yeah, at least until the ERD doesn’t need my parents any more, and god knows how long that’ll be. Anyway, I’m going back to school on Monday, so can you meet me at the platform then?”

“Wait… You’re going back to school? Dude, you know how that’s gonna turn out.” Sighing, I crossed my eyes, looking at my muzzle again, reminding myself.

“Yeah, but rules are rules. I’m still a UEG citizen and minor, so school it is. So, if it isn’t any trouble, I really need somepony… Dammit, I mean I really need someone tomorrow.” I almost punched, or kicked, a hole in the wall after saying another ponyism.

“Yeah, that’s how I- we, always get to school. Oh man, I’m glad I can say that again. Listen, I don’t have much time right now, but we’ll catch up on Monday, alright? So, how can I find you?”

“I’m a cyan colored earth pony, and my mane is purple. Trust me, I’m hard to miss.”

“Cyan and purple? Wow, you’re bright. I’ll find you. Just try to stay out of trouble on the streets. I know I probably sound like your mom, but I’m serious. Stay in public areas, and don’t wander down any alleyways or anything.” He seemed better now, but I could still detect something else in his tone.

“Believe me, I don’t plan on it.”

____________

Looking up from his Datapad, he gave me a puzzled look at first, but then I saw a mixture between curiosity and reassurance appear on his face. Getting up, he hesitantly shuffled over to me.

“Nate, Jesus, well you definitely look different.” Mother of God, he was tall. Compared to me, he was a fucking space tether. Before, I’d been about the same height as him, but now I was basically an ant in comparison. I backed onto my haunches as a result of his shear height. Kneeling down to my level, he just looked at me, inspecting my features.

“Yeah, I suppose I do. God, have I ever mentioned how tall you are?” He laughed at this, and returned a smile.

“Nope, you haven’t.” He continued to stare down my face, inspecting every inch, “You know, you really do look like yourself. You might not think so, but your face is… I dunno really, but it’s you.” A bit puzzled by his remark, I could only force out a weak smile. Suddenly, a loud hissing sound could be heard from behind us as the MagLev pulled into the station.

“Just in time. Man, if you made me late again… Screw it, I’m just glad you’re back, even if you’re a four legged talking rainbow.” Seemingly unaware of the fact that he just insulted me, he only continued to walk over to the train with a bounce to his step. Disregarding the insult, I only remained content at the fact that he was happy. Even if I wasn’t, at least he was. How many others can I make happy today? Probably not that many. But, at least I’d have him, my best friend for years.

Making sure that my saddle bag was still fastened around my back, I rose to all four of my hooves and trailed behind him. Do you know how weird it is to say ‘hooves’, instead of saying hands or feet? I know that it might seem appropriate and all, but it still made my insides squirm. The same chill came from the words ‘mane’, ‘tail’, ‘flank’, ‘haunch’, ‘withers’, and many more. But ‘hooves’ and ‘tail’ were the worst, as one can imagine.

The train wasn’t that crowded, but there was still an uncomfortable amount of people aboard. A couple of them I recognized, but most of them I didn’t. This particular line hit the school station, ran through part of the Old city, and then circled back around to Washington Station. The few that I recognized were none of my classmates, but they did go to the same school. I whipped my head around to my saddle bag, dug into it, and pulled out my cred-stick. I let the edge of it just barely connect with the wall mounted scanner before following Chandler to find a seat.

We finally found a place near the rear of the car, away from many, except for one fast asleep raggedy man in the corner on the other side of the way. I sat down in my traditional Human-esque posture, borrowing a slightly questionable expression from Chandler. Seemingly disregarding it for the moment, he simply threw himself down on the seat beside me.

“So, Nate,” He patted his legs with the palms of his hands, clearly anxious to talk to me. I looked up at him, his demeanor of curiosity and intrigue still present, “What’s it… like? You know…” Gazing down at my hooves, I held them up in front of me.

“Well, it hasn’t been easy, I’ll tell you that. You know, the stuff they say about it being easy and all, it’s a lie. It took me three days just to figure out how to hold things with these things. Have you ever tried to pick up a Datapad with hooves? It’s like trying to pick up a penny with a hammer!” He laughed at this, giving me a brief moment of self-satisfaction, “Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know, but it’s difficult.” Slouching back into the seat, I made sure not to injure my tail.

“What about having a tail? That’s got to be weird, right?” He mentioned the ‘T’ word. That was another thing, I suppose. Especially right after my conversion, the whole “having a tail” thing was pretty disturbing. I mean, everything was about it was disturbing, but the tail only heightened the overall strangeness, which in turn was another reason for me to refuse the terms of my new body.

“What do you think? Everything about it is weird, Chandler. I understand your curiosity, but I’m not exactly comfortable talking about some of it. Especially the specifics.” Sinking further back into my less than comfortable seat, I attempted to hide my visible discomfort. I really, really don’t like talking about my unwelcome changes. Hopefully it would sink in soon enough, but for now, Chandler still wasn’t receiving my message very well.

“Sorry, but it’s interesting. Yeah I’m curious, so what? Anyone would be! Friend gets turned into a freaky alien horse thingy, and you’re going to have questions.” I do agree that I’m a freaky alien horse thingy, but I’m not happy about being called one. The term “horse” is derogatory in Equestrian culture, and I’m beginning to understand why. My friend was calling me a senseless animal, to my face. That was the single word that really gets on my nerves, I’ve found. When the Human in the terminal called me a horse, it set something off inside me. That was my fear: being treated like an animal, when I was clearly just as bright, even brighter, than the person who spoke the insult.

“Please don’t call me that…” That was the only thing that came to my mind. It was the only thing I permitted myself to say. I’m not a hurtful person, or Pony, I’ve never liked to be. That’s something that I’ve always been.

“Call you what? Okay, sorry, it’s just… Weird, I guess. Also, we both live in the anti-pony capital of the world, so you kind of hear these things daily. I’m just used to it, is all.” Yes, he was right about that. We lived in a place where calling the ponies “horses” was the norm, and we’ve grown accustomed to it. It’s only been about nine months since first contact, but time has proceeded ever so slowly since that date. Everything just seemed to slow down for me. I guess it was the effect of the world being on the brink of an apocalypse, but now that I’m safe, time for me became a bit disoriented.

After he said that, I just ignored him for a while. I could tell it was bothering him, but I wasn’t feeling like talking any longer. To be honest, curling up in a furry little ball and never coming out seemed like a rather ideal gesture, but I decided against it. I don’t really understand why I even thought of it really, but I just wanted to be left alone for some reason. As an alternative, however, I only decided to set my gaze to the exterior of the train as it weaved through the air above the masses below. Looking toward the tether, it made me begin to wonder about my future again. God, I just wanted to go up there. Even if it was only for a second, I’d be satisfied.

“Nathan, I’m sorry. I am.” He grabbed my hoof as if to comfort me, but instead began to inspect it. He was treating me like a circus freak, but I guess it was only expected behavior, after all. In my mind, I put myself into his shoes, and realized that he really was only curious. I mean, the last time I saw him I was a 6 foot tall Human being, and now I was a 4 foot tall furry horse thing to him. I arrested my gaze from the window to look at Chandler again, who was still observing my hoof with a keen interest.

“You know, if your that interested, you should just go get converted.” He quickly withdrew his hand and shook his head wildly.

“No thanks. I’ve still got a lot of things I want to do before I become one of you guys. Besides, I’m not sure if I can deal with having hooves for hands.” He wiggled his fingers for emphasis. Sighing, I returned to leaning on the window.

“Yeah, it’s not easy. My explanation of it probably won’t help either, as I’m not exactly the perfect Pony to ask. You should ask somepony who actually enjoys themselves afterwards.” The few times that I actually permit myself to utter a ponyism is usually when I’m actually referencing them. Other times, it makes me want to cut off my tongue.

“You don’t like it? It can’t be that bad, can it?” The direction the conversation was heading made me a little uneasy, but I allowed myself to answer him.

“Chandler, you’re my best friend. I’ve told you about my dreams and all. The things that I wanted to do when I got older. Sure, they were a bit ambitious, and I admitted it to myself all the time, but… I wanted it more than I could’ve ever made myself believe. Before, I had opportunity. I had the ability to pursue my dreams to the fullest extent, but now it’s impossible. My choice was stolen from me. I wanted to make a difference here, before all of it was taken away from us, but I never even got a chance to show the world my potential. I like to think myself brilliant, but I’m not. I’m just a stupid kid with stupid, fake dreams that never would’ve happened even if I was given a chance. I’m not even a stupid kid, I’m a stupid four-legged animal with broken, pointless dreams. But you can’t let my opinion sway yours.” I choked out the last part, my body giving way to the onset of powerful emotions. Not now, it couldn’t happen here, especially in front of Chandler. It hadn’t taken much for my emotions to pour out of me like that, and suddenly I just felt very, very alone. Crying is something you cannot avoid. Rather, you shouldn’t avoid. It’s a natural process; your body’s way of saying “release the pressure”. I had to do it, right here and now.

God, I’m pathetic. I like to consider myself an emotionally stable person on the outside, but the outburst that erupted on the MagLev uprooted that belief quite easily. I don’t remember when Chandler finally put his arm around me, but I do remember that I wasn’t a pretty sight. I was a child, a little foal, crying over something that babies don’t tend to cry over. The fact that it happened in public only made it worse. If Chandler hadn’t been there, this whole thing would’ve never happened, but it was a good thing he was there, regardless.

__________

Chapter Two: A Day in The Life of A Convert

The Conversion Bureau: Project Vanguard

Chapter Two: A Day In The Life of A Convert

___________

You know what? This was actually the first time that I had a shoulder to cry on since my conversion. In the bureau, I didn’t have any friends to help me through it, or anyone that was even remotely close to me. Of course, I had my parents, but what were they? They were the ones who chucked me into this horrible nightmare, so why should I even think to ask them for help? Besides, what help could they even give me? A good shoulder hug, and another one of those, “everything’s going to get better” speeches? Yeah, that was definitely going to make me feel so much better. At this point, they were really shaping out to be horrible parents. Either that, or they really had no idea how to help me. I mean, they understood why I felt like this, or at least I think they did.

Anyway, the rest of the train ride was more or less a blur to me. I cracked under the emotional tension within myself which resurfaced as a result of Chandler’s unintentional prodding. Only this time, I actually had someone to be there for me, unlike all the times before when I was completely alone, or at least felt alone. This time, however, I received the immediate consolation of my one and only friend at the moment. There’s no telling as to what lies ahead, though. I still had to tell Amy, who didn’t even know I was here, and then Luke. Gosh, I might even just avoid that bastard all together. It would probably be quite impossible though, as he would probably harass me or something, and I’d have to tell him who I was.

I knew that I was soaking his sweatshirt with my seemingly endless torrents of tears, but apparently he didn’t care. I didn’t want to leave a big wet splotch on his shirt or anything, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull myself away. I guess that was the effect of actually having comfort for the first time in a while. I didn’t even hear him the first time when the train finally came to a halt.

“Nate, it’s time to go…” He shook me lightly with his left arm, which was still wrapped around my back. Pulling away from him slightly, I looked up at the few students who had boarded, now rising from their seats. Now I really wasn’t ready to get off. Not like this, being as, although I hate to admit it, emotionally unstable as I was now. The first insult, degrading gesture, or even a glare could set me off now, and as soon as I stepped off the train, I’d be fresh meat. But, I knew that I had to. For Chandler, and myself, I’d have to brave this familiar, yet unfamiliar place. Standing up, I attempted to hide the few remaining tears that I had, and stepped off of the MagLev.

Officially, this was Verga Station, or terminal, but my friends and I referred to it as the school terminal out of simplicity. It was named after Walter Verga, one of the lead scientists of Martin Industries. He, along with Martin, developed the Multi-core Interplanetary drive. I mean, it was only logical, him belonging to one of the greatest scientific advancements of Humankind, but to name a MagLev terminal after the guy? Come on, Humanity. I guess there are worse fates, but I’m not sure if I’d really want my name to be referred to as a MagLev terminal. Maybe something with a little more importance, like a space vessel. Actually, come to think of it, I think there’s an MISV cruiser named after him, but my point has been made.

Stepping out onto the rooftop Plaza of New Roanoke High School, which had been so cleverly named, I spotted many going about their usual morning commute. Of course, this involved typically pointless conversation just to pass the time until the inevitable bell rung. I didn’t even get within 2 meters before I completely froze, and the idea of running right the hell back into the train came to mind. Before I could even consider the thought, however, I felt a hand pat me on the back of my neck.

“Come on, there’s nothing to worry about. It’ll all be over before you even know it. Besides, I bet Amy would like to know that her best friend isn’t leaving quite yet.” Oh god, Amy. I forgot about her. I’d planned to spend the trip here preparing for the moment, and now that time had been severed in half. All of the sudden, I found myself being pulled along by my quaking legs, and even though I wanted to run in the complete opposite direction, I was somehow propelled by a force unbeknownst to me.

Approaching the entrance, I had only minutes to think. Coupled with the countless violent stares of aggression, I wasn’t exactly at peace with myself, and thinking about Amy was quite difficult in my current situation. And then, guess what? I was inside. But instead of the ear splitting chatter that normally filled a hallway such as this, all was silent. Well, save for the cringeful sound of hoof-steps and my shallow breathing.

“Is that… What I think it is?” An astonished voice emanated from the crowd spanning either side of the hallway.

“That’s it. I’m transferring schools if that thing’s staying here.” An annoyed girl spoke from a rather far-off distance, but my heightened hearing could pick it up.

“I think it’s actually kind of cute…” The person who uttered said comment could easily be detected as the group immediately around her turned to face her, giving the girl confused looks of scorn, “… what?”

At this, my face flushed with embarrassment, and I felt my annoyingly emotive ears fall. I just wanted to close my eyes; to escape from this madness, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Every single one of them… staring at me. Some of the stares were out of curiosity, some out of bemusement, but most out of scorn, and despise. They didn’t want me here just as much as I didn’t want to be here. Well, world; are you enjoying yet another one of your countless attempts at making my life complete hell? Because you’ve definitely succeeded in doing so.

Glancing beside me, Chandler was still by my side, even if it meant the likely enumerable verbal and possibly even physical beatings he’d later receive. This only made me feel worse; I didn’t want to pull anyone else into my unfavorable predicament, and now Chandler would likely suffer for it. I felt the pressure build up again behind my eyes, and my throat start to ache, but I had to put as much effort that I could possibly muster into not crying again. Especially not here, in front of all of them. It would show that I’m weak, and make myself an easier target.

I was actually quite surprised that Chandler did what he did; he didn’t pay heed to the countless hurtful remarks about me or him, and he only kept his chin held high the entirety of the way. By the time we arrived at the small, quiet rooftop courtyard we normally went to in the mornings, the commotion had died down a bit, but the few individuals besides Chandler and I that also spent their mornings outside still stared at us, spoke to each other under their breath, and whenever I made eye contact with them, I was almost always met with a negative gaze. We sat down on one of the benches, near the wall near some trees of course. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, and I was still shaking like a leaf in the wind, but at least the worst part had passed. Hopefully.

“Chandler, that takes balls to do what you did back there. But now, I seriously fear for your life.” I pulled myself closer to him, not that I wasn’t already close enough, for my whisper to become audible to him, “Are you really okay with doing this for me?” Leaning back on the bench, he smiled contently.

“Nate, you should know by now that I’m there for you, always. I think we can both agree that your situation isn’t fun, but as long as things are like this,” He gestured to nothing in particular, “I want to make sure that your life isn’t any worse than it has to be-“

“Hey Chandler, did you hear abou-“ Oh no… That voice… Whipping around in unison, a tall, well, to me she was tall, dark haired girl stood motionless. Her unblinking, soul piercing eyes trained on me, and me alone.

“Amy, um, it’s me… Nate…”

“No… no, you… you said you were leaving…” This wasn’t looking good for me. Was she mad? Did she believe that I lied to her, and made her think that I was leaving as part of some cruel joke? Why would she even resort to that conclusion? Whatever the case, I had to play it safe.

“I thought I was leaving, I really did, but… I’m sorry, Amy… I’m sor-“ Before my mind could even register it, she had kneeled to accommodate my three and a half foot stature, and her nose was mere inches away from the tip of my muzzle. The feeling of her warm breath on my nose sent shivers down the length of my spine and tail, causing it to flick involuntarily. I had to put effort into not grimacing at the phenomena, which still felt strange and alien to me, even now. Then, more weird sensations; placing her fingers on my cheek, she stroked the soft fur. At this point, the only thing that I could think was, ‘What the hell is she doing to me?’ The feeling of fingers on my cheek only heightened my sense of unease. Even now, thoughts of my missing fingers plagued me. The feeling of it made me shudder at her touch.

Her face appeared to be sullen. All of her features were withdrawn, and less pronounced. If she smiled, even if she meant the feeling, the message conveyed would still be that of melancholy. However, she wasn’t smiling; her face had been continuously forming into an even more depressing frown while she prodded my face. Hesitantly at first, she slowly wrapped her other arm around my neck, and her other one followed suit. At first, it seemed like she was almost afraid to, but once both of her arms had been wrapped around me, she pulled me into a tighter embrace.

To be honest, I was receiving mixed signals. Was she upset? Angry? Sorry? I was really having a hard time discerning the message she was attempting to convey. Maybe she felt sorry for me, angry, and sad, all at the same time?

“Nathan…” It was barely audible, even to me. Increasing the strength of her embrace, she buried her face in my mane. I didn’t dare move, though. I didn’t need to hug her back, she just needed to hug me. Chandler, catching my attention, signaled a quick goodbye with a flick of his hand. Before I could even tell him to wait up, he was already out of earshot. Now I was alone with Amy, who was now quivering as a result of her sobbing. Glancing around the courtyard, I noticed that more and more had been departing for their classes, and now we, along with a few noticeably late individuals, were alone. Suddenly, the ear splitting late bell resounded throughout the complex.

Late on my first day back, wonderful! That’s definitely a good way to start the day, and the rest of the year off. Yet, standing alone outside with a quickly transforming melancholy sky overhead with my broken friend sobbing into my mane, I couldn’t really do anything about that now. She needed me now, for whatever reason. I shifted on my hooves, and apparently she took the hint.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” She pulled away, and stood up, wiping the few remaining tears off onto her sweater, “Ever since you left, things haven’t been the best for me, or anyone for that matter, especially Chandler. He might not show it, but you know how well he can hide his feelings. But I’m not like that, and you know it.” Nodding, I had to strain my neck slightly to look up at her.

“Yeah, I know. It couldn’t have been that bad, could it?” She laughed absently,

“Well, we all thought we lost a friend. A best friend. Just like that. If you went to Equestria, we’d likely never see you again, and the fact that it was all so sudden just made it worse. But now that you’re back… We aren’t losing you after all.” She smiled at this, and let out a choked laugh, a hint of sadness still present.

“I’ll see you at lunch, okay Amy?” I tried to say it in the most heart-warming way possible, in case she thought that I was becoming impatient.

“Yeah… Yeah, sure.” God, she looked frazzled. Like she was in a daze. Putting it out of my mind, I needed to focus on getting to class. I was likely five minutes late as it was, and my history class was a level below me. I started out at a slight trot, but sped to a gallop as soon as I was through the door on the opposite side of the rooftop courtyard.

I had everything I needed for class in my saddlebag, I mean, no one used their locker here much anyways, and attempting to use the holopad lock would likely prove impossible regardless. That reminds me; why are they called saddlebags? I mean, the only sapient races on the other side of the barrier were quadrupeds, so what else could sit on top of them? Actually, I’ve heard that there’s a race of sapient reptiles that sometimes live alongside the ponies, and in their childhood, they’re semi-bipedal. I don’t know, but that’s a theory.

Slowing to a trot as I neared the entrance to my classroom, I had little time to think about my entrance. I needed to avoid being even later, which would only make things worse. Standing in front of the door, I hopped back and forth on my hooves to ready myself.

“Alright, Nathan, how bad can it be?” Looking up at the door handle, I gulped. Opting for a cleanlier alternative to my mouth, I twisted the handle with the end of my leg, or the part that felt like a big finger, and hesitantly opened it. Once again, for the second time today, my shallow breathing and hoof-steps were the only things pervading the stark silence of the classroom.

Personally, I believed that Mr. Werner was quite an average teacher. He wasn’t a douchebag teacher like the majority of them, but he wasn’t quite up there with the coolest of them. I liked him for several reasons, the most prominent of them was his knowledge. He knew his material well, and taught with passion. If only all teachers could be like that. On the other hand, or hoof, or whatever, he was fanatical about what he believed in. If he had an opinion that you opposed, it could get pretty messy. That was one of the reasons why walking into his classroom was a bit difficult for me.

Although he never expressed it directly, something about him told me that his opinion towards the Ponies was less than friendly. Being a historian, there’s no doubt that he had to be at least slightly miffed about the fact that our world, and our history, was quite literally being consumed. Sure, efforts were being made to save it all, but some things are quite impossible to preserve.

Pausing just inside the door, I quickly scanned the many bemused faces. Even Mr. Werner had completely halted his teaching, which he didn’t normally do, and allowed his puzzlement to override it.

“And who might you be?” His voice intoned a hint of annoyance, along with intrigue. Stepping forward, I grimaced at the incredibly distracting noise that my hooves made on the linoleum floor.

“Um… I’m Nathan Frost.” Raising an eyebrow, he gestured to the rows of seats,

“Well Mr. Frost, I suggest that you take a seat. I’d also like to see you after class.” Well, that was a bit unexpected. At least he didn’t throw me out of his classroom or anything. I picked the first empty seat that I saw, and eased myself into it. Sitting down now was a lot harder than it was before, because I had to be mindful of my stupid tail all the time. I hated it, I really did. The seat that I chose caused the two immediately behind and in front of me to sigh in disapproval. This only furthered my discomfort, prompting me to bury my muzzle in my forelegs. I just wanted to go home…

For some time, the class went fairly smooth. It was just a bunch of note taking, which I didn’t do much of anyways. I’ve never relied much on notes, especially in a class such as this. Math was a different story, but as for History and Science, they came naturally to me. However, I couldn’t help but notice the girl beside me. She kept staring at me; not out of scorn, but rather out of wonder. Getting frustrated, I shot her a glance, and whispered, “What?”

“Sorry, sorry… It’s just, you were Nathan?” I recognized her now; she was Aubrey Sparrow. I didn’t know her that well, but apparently she knew me.

“I am Nathan.” Her use of the word ‘were’ was invalid, and it angered me slightly.

“Wow… So, how does it feel?” Again, why do these people insist on pursuing these uncomfortable topics?

“Weird, okay? What do you think it would feel like to be a 3 and a half foot tall quadruped that talks?” I almost wanted to rephrase that, but honestly, these questions were really getting under my skin. I was almost positive that this certain brand of behavior was supposed to be repressed after conversion, so why was I acting this way? Jumping at my unexpected reaction, she turned back to taking notes. I wanted to apologize, but I decided against my better nature, and once again buried my head. I felt the ache resurge in my throat, that horrible emotional pain, but it quickly died down. To be truthful, that was a trait that I had always retained. I always felt horrible for even the smallest of my outbursts. If I said something that I didn’t mean to say, even if it doesn’t cause the recipient the slightest mental impact, I still feel horrible.

It wasn’t even five minutes after that when the bell finally rung. Remembering what Mr. Werner had said, I remained seated. After the last of them filed out of the classroom, he stood up from his desk, and casually strode over to my desk. Sitting down in the one directly in front of me, he looked upon me with an expression of slight intrigue.

“Nathan. Nathan, Nathan, Nathan… One of my best students. That spark; that thirst for knowledge… A repository of it, at that. But that’s not all… You’re very aware of the world; you’re very aware of everything, aren’t you? You think a lot more than anyone in my class; anyone in all of my classes, and you know it. So tell me, what is Project Vanguard?” Puzzled, I sunk back into my seat, and thought for an answer. I knew that Werner was quite the unorthodox thinker, and person, so his reason for asking me this question was his own.

“Uh… It was the joint-effort between the UEG and the ERD to promote conversion, and to improve the ERD’s public image, right?” Chuckling, he cast me a raised eyebrow,

“You tell me.” Standing up, he walked to the front of the classroom, where he proceeded to delete his work displayed upon the holoscreen.

“What do you mean by that?” Standing up, I trotted over to the door. Sitting down in his comfortable looking, by human standards, office chair, he shot me a wry grin,

“You tell me.” As if on cue, the second bell rung, prompting me to get a move on. Deciding that getting to my next class was of more immediate importance than this, I backed out of the door,

“I’ll get back to you on that, Mr. Werner.” Laughing, he shouted back to me,

“Yep.” Shoving the awkward conversation out of my head for the moment, I had to hurry in order to avoid being late.

___________

My next two classes went in pretty much the same fashion. I assumed that all of my teachers already knew about my predicament. I mean, my parents had to give some reason as to why I was going to be absent for a week. There was the occasional insult here and there, but most of all, people just opted to stay away from me. I wonder if they had all been told about me beforehand, and there were punishments in mind for those who attempted to make a move. All in all, things were turning out better than I had originally hoped. However, the hallways were still pretty bad. Being without Chandler most of the time, insults and degrading gestures were hurled at me every so often, mostly by kids who weren’t in any of my classes. But, the day was halfway over now, and I was hungry as hell. Ponies generally have higher metabolism than Humans, so I had a right to be starving. I made my way to Chandler and I's de facto meeting place with a slight smile gracing my lips.

I caught him just as he was about to head for lunch without me, “Hey dude!” I had to run to catch up to him.

“Well you're in a better mood. So, how’s your day been?” Exhaling contently, I smiled up at him.

“Better than I’d hoped, to tell the truth. It’s been rough, but at least my teachers are putting up with me. Have you talked to Amy?” An expression of relief crossed his weary looking face,

“Yeah. She really wants to talk to you, but I think she might be asking the same questions that you aren’t exactly fond of.”

“I think I’ll be able to handle them now, though. Earlier, I was kind of distressed about all of this. But I feel better now, so who knows? I hope I can give you guys the answers I think you deserve.” Man, I was feeling confident. Like I could take on the world, tenfold.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, Nate.” Getting into the lunch line, it wasn’t long before one of Chandler’s other friends, Matt, completely disregarded me in order to get behind him. Scowling, I prepared to assert myself, but quickly thought better of it. This kid was huge. Not just to me, but to everyone, including Chandler. Fighting the notion off, I only decided to go along with it.

I had to raise myself up on the counter, placing my forehooves on top of it. This elicited a few noticeable flinches from those behind me, but I shrugged it off. Sure, it was kind of unsanitary, but hell. Looking at the choices, I quickly came to an unfortunate conclusion: Everything had meat, and my nose knew it. Spotting a cylindrical wrapped object, I directed my attention to the lady behind the counter.

“Um, excuse me, what’s in this?” I pointed at the wrap with a hoof, and elicited her a raised eyebrow. Shooting me a quizzical expression, she roughly spat back to the kitchen,

“Ay, Denise! Isn’t this a veggie taco?” A rather plump woman looked over from her work station.

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, it is!” Nodding, the woman quickly threw the item onto my tray.

“Uh, thanks.” I quickly took the tray in my teeth, knowing that I had been causing a slight hold up. Ever since the Equestrians arrived, vegetarian dishes have become a lot more prevalent around the globe, and I was thankful for it. After paying for my meager lunch, consisting only of the wrap and a bottle of water, I quickly found my friends sitting at our usual table. Except... Luke wasn’t there. In fact, I hadn’t seen Luke all day. He probably already knew about me, and just wanted to avoid me.

“Have any of you seen Luke?” Sitting down beside Amy and across from Chandler, I shot them both quizzical glances. Chandler was the first to speak,

“Actually, no, I haven’t. I mean, I can see why he’d want to avoid us, but we should’ve at least seen him by now.”

“He was in my 2nd block, but he didn’t even say anything to me. More or less even look at me. We’ve been friends for years…” Amy cast me a downtrodden look. Luke had been friends with all of us since our first year of middle school, and now, all because of me, both Chandler and Amy lost a best friend. This angered me more than anything else, though. I didn’t feel like crying, I felt like bucking Luke in the face. If I even knew how to do that, that is. Sighing at my lack of usefulness, I picked up my water bottle, and twisted the cap off with my mouth.

“Well, anyways, at least you’ve made it this far.” Amy changed the subject.

“Yeah, and your next block should be a breeze with us there to keep you company. And we all know that Mr. Montag is going to be cool with it all, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He was right about that much, I suppose. My next class was going to be a breeze. At least, that’s what I was hoping for. I smiled inwardly at his consolation, and looked up at Chandler.

“I don’t think I would’ve even made it past the front door today, if it wasn’t for you. Hell, I wouldn’t have even gotten off the MagLev this morning. Just… I don’t know what to say. It would’ve been so much easier for you both to just steer clear of me altogether, but, you didn’t.” My eyes were welling up with tears now, “God, I’m sappy. So horribly sappy, but you guys have no idea how much it helps. Sorry for crying so much, but it’s been hard recently. It really has. And this is just the beginning of it.” They both giggled lightheartedly, and Amy put her arm around me.

“You aren't that sappy, Nate! But, we understand. Just thinking about what you’re going through is hard for me, and I know that I really can’t truly understand, but we’ll do our best.” Removing her arm, she clapped her hands together loudly, “But, enough of that! Let’s talk about what we’re gonna do today! We’re having some fun, whether you like it or not.”

“OH yeth. We neeth to hang outh!” Chandler had a mouthful of hamburger, therefore he spewed the contents all over the table. I visibly cringed at the sight, not due to the thought of having his half-chewed, slimy hamburger coating me, but mostly because of the hamburger itself. Allowing himself to swallow the food, he repeated his thought, only more understandable this time. Deciding that it was time for me to eat, I unwrapped the apparent veggie taco from its paper covering, and inspected it. Holding it up to eye level, I peered into it. Lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, and other insignificant greens were stuffed into the soft tortilla shell. Just to be on the safe side, I was about to unwrap it, but before I could even try, my stomach growled in defiance. Loudly.

Looking up at the two humans, who were now stifling their laughter, my face flushed. Overriding my sense of embarrassment, I hesitantly picked up the taco in my hoof, and bit into it. I tasted exactly what I’d expected: vegetables, and vegetables alone. I don’t like to admit it, but food isn’t exactly what it used to be anymore. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, but sometimes, it can be quite annoying. Food is euphoric to me now. Fruits and vegetables, I mean.

I had to take classes on the entire subject of food while I was at the bureau, and it’s actually quite interesting. Equestrians can digest meat, they’ve always been able to. A lot of people think that the Ponies can’t even handle meat, or that it’s harmful to them, but in reality, that’s definitely not the case. Their digestive system works a lot like ours, and, in a lot of ways, is very similar. The only reason the Ponies aren’t exactly renowned for their meat eating capabilities is because, to put it simply, they just don’t. Unlike humans, they lack one important cultural similarity: hunting. My guess is that their lack of hands and upright skeletons prevented them from inventing the basic tools that early Humans used to hunt, and instead developed into gatherer societies early on. By the time that they had learned how to utilize magic and efficient ways to manipulate objects, they were already acclimated to their vegetarian diet.

Without the need or desire to hunt for their food, the Ponies held fast to their vegetarian ways, and it became cultural precedent and norm. Much like how Humans frown upon cannibalism, the Ponies heavily discourage the consummation of meat within their society. Well, that’s how I was told, at least. Anyway, to discourage the Human practice of eating meat, the serum is programmed to alter the digestive system, and all five senses in order to prevent the convert from eating meat. Eventually, dormant nano units would fix all of it, but only after the convert is adjusted to their new lifestyle. That goes for a lot of other things to, but I won’t get into that for now. While effectively making meat inedible, it also amplifies the tastes of produce to the point of ridiculousness.

I experienced this first-hand the day after my conversion, and even now I’m still hesitant around fruits and vegetables. It’s one of the most annoying things about conversion, besides not having hands and all, but nevertheless, at a moment like this, it made me want to rip my tongue off.

“Food-gasm, much?” Chandler said, stifling a laugh. I glared up at him, but then, another miserable wave washed over me. Maybe to another convert, that would be something to laugh about, but to me, it was something completely different. It was something that I couldn’t help; something that I wanted to change, but couldn’t, no matter what. Taking another bite of my meal, the euphoric feeling was repressed this time, but it was still horribly annoying beyond belief.

But… something was off. As I went to take another bite, something embedded within the soft shell caught my eye. Concealed by layers of lettuce, a whitish-tan chunk of organic material had been bitten off along with the rest of the taco. It only took half a second for me to realize what it was, and the incredibly horrible aftertaste that came to me right after. Just the smallest bit of meat could trigger horrible stomach aches and vomiting, and I’d apparently bitten off an entire chunk of chicken meat, and swallowed it to boot.

Realizing what, exactly, I had just done, my face was deprived of any warmth that it had before. Not knowing what to do, I just put the remainder of the death taco back on my tray, and sat there with my hooves folded in my lap, frozen with fear. What was going to happen to me? Do I go to the bathroom, or do I wait and see if nothing happens? Never mind that, something will definitely happen, I’ve heard it happen before. If a Newfoal eats meat, they get sick very soon due to the taste alone. I didn’t exactly taste it, so who knows when or even if I'll get sick?

“Uh… Are you okay, buddy?” It was Chandler, probably catching onto my obvious distress. I was even quivering now; the fear I was experiencing felt like ice running down my spine, and filling the pit in my stomach.

“I-I’m not sure…” As soon as I said that, a horrible pain erupted in my stomach, causing me to clutch it with my hooves and hunch over slightly, “I t-take that b-back. Meat is bad. Very, very bad…” Sliding off the seat, any movement I made threatened to upset my stomach even further, prompting me to be extra careful. I didn’t have time to explain to my friends the exact details of my situation, but hopefully they understood that I needed a bathroom. Now. Doing my best to hobble out of the cafeteria the fastest way possible, I made it to the restroom just in time.

I didn’t even bother to close the stall door due to my lack of time, and I barely made it to the rim of the toilet before my stomach decided to finally empty its contents. I can honestly say that I have never felt worse. That crippling stomach ache persisted through the vomiting, and I daresay that it even got worse; that coupled with my aching neck and jaw. The endless gagging finally seemed to come to an end, and I was reduced to a shivering ball curled up beside the toilet, clutching my stomach which ultimately felt like it was still ripping itself apart.

If the bell rang, I didn’t hear it, nor did I care much, to be honest. I honestly couldn’t move; both from being weakened to the point of exhaustion, and the fact that my stomach felt like it was being pulverized by sledgehammers. Nevertheless, I was bound to the nasty restroom floor, writhing in pain.

“I told you to run away.” The sickly monotone voice caught me extremely off guard, causing my entire body to jump. Well, mostly my hind legs just kind of flailed as my forelegs were currently preoccupied. I didn’t need to turn to see the source of the voice to know who it was, not that I’d even be able to turn if I wanted to anyways.

“We have to have this conversation now?” I said through gritted teeth, both due to my frustration with him and the pain I was still experiencing.

“You could’ve ran away. Hell, you could’ve lived with me, if you needed to. The HLF would’ve taken care of you too, but those guys are kind of rough and tumble. You’re kinda squishy though, especially now.” I stayed silent, in order to let him continue his rant, “Aren’t there organizations that deal with this kind of thing? Like Child Services? Could’ve went to them, you know. After all, this looks like child abuse to me.”

“I wasn’t going to abandon my parents like that, Luke.” I said flatly.

“Well they abandoned you the second they signed that contract.” He rose his voice for the first time.

“No they didn’t! By the time they knew about the details, it was too late. They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into.” My anger was slowly beginning to boil beneath my cyan coat.

“And how do you know that your parents aren’t lying to you! They knew the risks, they knew how you’d feel, but did they care? Do they care, even now? I certainly doubt that. You know that they’re liars, you just can’t come to accept it. Actually, I bet you do know, but guess what? Can’t do shit about it now, can you? You’re a little pastel colored horse freak now, idiot, and that’s what you’ll be for the rest of your life!” He shouted that last part, causing me to visibly shrink under his force. Luke was announcing my own inner thoughts to me, and it was a little more than frightening coming from him like that.

“So why do you care, asshole?” I was on the verge of tears, and my voice was already becoming strained, “you’ve made it perfectly clear that you hate both me and my friends, so why are you doing this?”

“I don’t hate your friends. I hate that they’re your friends, even after all you’ve done. You abandoned us. You abandoned me. You abandoned your species. And most importantly, you abandoned yourself, all at the drop of a hat. Sure, you probably thought about it, but you didn’t even try to save your own life! You gave up your dreams, your passions, and your Humanity, and you didn’t even put up a fight! You’re a disgrace to mankind! I just wanted to make sure you knew that.” I was sobbing now; something that I wasn’t ready to do quite yet. These claims made by my former best friend only amplified the truth; a truth that had remained internal. I felt him kneel down behind me.

“You know, Nathan, you don’t exactly belong here anymore, I’ve noticed. You know, with you having the hooves and all. I think you’d be doing everyone a favor if you just left, you know what I mean? Now, I’m saying this as a friend. What’s left of that, anyway. Some call this place, “The Human City”. Do you see “Pony” in there anywhere? How about “Freedom’s Progress”? I don’t see how a hoofed animal could make any progress. So, if I have one piece of advice to give, that’s to take your gay little animal family and your Pony fag loving friends as far away from here as possible!” He stood up, and appeared to be leaving, but then he called back to me,

“Oh, and Nate, or whatever stupid name you have now, I wish I could still call you my friend. We had the greatest times together bro, you know that? I wish we still had that. But, things happen I guess. Not my fault that you’re a freaky little horse thing now, you did that all on your own. Just remember that I offered to help. Can’t help you now though, really. A shame. I’d like to help you in some way, I really would, but… the tail freaks me out, you know?” With that, he was gone, and I was left to wallow in my own self-pity. This was the worst, by far, I’d felt since my conversion. I was practically glued to the ground, sobbing freely. My stomach ache had intensified even more thanks to Luke, and that coupled with the emotional pain I was experiencing came close to pure agony.

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Chapter Three: Lighten Up! You've Still Got A Life To Live! ... Or Do Ya?

The Conversion Bureau: Project Vanguard

Chapter Three: Lighten Up! You've Still Got A Life To Live! ... Or Do Ya?

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Luke’s words resounded within my distressed mind, threatening to cripple the already mangled and broken supports which held my sanity aloft. I was still lying on the restroom floor writhing in pain when Luke left. Why did they have to make it hurt so much? I don’t exactly know what going into labor feels like, nor do I want to know, but this has to be close to it. That, coupled with Luke’s verbal beating, probably the worst of which I’ve ever received considering the conditions it was under, made the entire ordeal agonizing. It effectively reduced me to a sniveling ball of despair.

The worst part about it all, though, was that everything he said was completely true. I mean, I knew everything that he told me, and I agreed with all of it. I’ve been arguing with myself for a while now about whether or not my parents were entirely truthful about the whole thing, and I knew from the start that they weren’t. I’m not stupid. I just haven’t brought myself to truly accept that they lied to me, because… well, they’re my parents. And, before all of this even happened, I honestly believed that they were the best parents I could really ask for. But now… they’ve become entirely different people, or ponies, I should say. They willingly signed me up for something that would effectively ruin my life, and it has proved.

You know, I don’t like to say that my life is ruined, but it definitely feels that way for a lot of reasons. Whatever future I had left was taken away from me when the barrier appeared. Maybe not completely gone, but altered drastically, still. Instead of learning how to captain a spaceship a little bit closer to home, I would've had to do so on Mars, or some other distant planet. But now, I couldn’t do any of that whatsoever. My conversion marked the utter obliteration of any aspirations that I still retained, and now I was at a dead end. I didn’t have a purpose for myself anymore; maybe I still held a purpose to my friends and family, but to me, life seemed worthless in so many respects. I could always find a new goal, or lifelong dream, but after this… I don’t think I have the effort or the motivation to do so. I imagine this is what it feels like after a runner loses their legs, or when a pilot loses their eyesight… but I have a feeling that it’s a little bit different for me.

I actually did consider running away, or joining a resistance group, but that would’ve cost me my family and my friends. Somehow, the world is still turning, and school, the government, and life still goes on. I wouldn’t be able to go to school anymore, I’d become a fugitive, and on top of all that, my goals would be forfeit. In the end, getting converted was better than that by a long shot. Either way you put it, my life ended the second my parents signed that contract.

For a second, my mind stopped. That’s exactly what Luke had said. Well, it was in slightly different context, but it basically meant the same thing. My mind still lingered on his words, calling upon them to fuel my endless mental torment. I was still sobbing, but now that my mind had been momentarily cleared, I lied there in silence. Lunch had just started when this whole ordeal began, and now I was thoroughly disoriented. What time was it? Was lunch over? Did I miss class?

As soon as the thought grazed my mind, the piercingly loud roar of the bell answered my questions. However, I certainly wasn't ready to get up. Still lying on my side, clutching my stomach, I hesitantly placed a hoof on the ground, and attempted to lift myself up. It was still just about as painful as fifteen gunshot wounds, but I could stand, regardless of the fact that I was just as shaky as my grandpa trying to finish his applesauce.

I just kind of stood there for a moment, gathering my senses. It was a good thing that I grabbed my wristwatch; checking the time would've been a lot harder with my Datapad in my current condition. However, when I lifted my right hoof off the ground to bring it to my face, I momentarily forgot that I was basically a precariously balanced Jenga tower.

Taking a dive against the stall wall, my jaw cracked as my neck and head contorted against the cold, hard, germ resistant material that the entire world was made out of by this point. I slumped to the floor, not sure if I was frustrated with myself, saddened by my lack of hands, or just tired with having to deal with my inability to adapt. So I just kind of lied there for a moment more, staring up at the blaring ceiling lights, trying to ignore the remnants of meat still churning uncooperatively in my stomach, and basically just feeling, over all, done with trying.

I was knocked out of my thoroughly dazed state as my annoyingly expressive ears reacted to the sound of the bathroom door being shoved open, banging against the wall behind it as if it was whimpering in pain.

Well that's certainly not a good sign...

The violent opening of the door was followed by a myriad of loud, obnoxious voices. Loud, obnoxious voices that made my blood run cold. Nearly everyone at my high school tended to be indoctrinated into the whole anti-pony regime, and the school bullies tended to be the prime examples of how bad the world could be sometimes. I thought I hated this place before...

All at once, my entire mind went from utterly blank to a "You're going to die if you breathe," panicked state. I could hear them rambling on about all of this stupid nonsense about getting laid, how much of the drug Thaucose they had this morning, and then, worst of all, about me.

"You know that pony? I saw it running like a bat outta hell earlier at lunch. You think it came in here?"

"Yeah, I heard Luke did a number on the fag. Didn't beat him up or nothing, just kinda left him there. Wish I was there to finish the job, though. we'd get a promotion." A pause followed his words, and another voice took his place.

"Hey... do you think it's still in here? Luke was only in here a few minutes ago." I could imagine a half excited, half demonic smile being plastered on all of their faces.

"Hey fag!" a large bang in the stall next to me made me jump, but I knew that I had to keep myself quiet. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was drenched in sweat, and an icy feeling was erupting in my gut. I covered my mouth with foreleg in order to prevent myself from audibly whimpering.

"We know you're in here!" the stall door next to me was violently kicked in, resulting in another loud bang that rocked my sanity. Curling up into a hopefully silent ball, I painstakingly awaited my doom. I then realized, to my dismay, a critical detail about this particular restroom: it only had three stalls.

My only warning being the brutal slamming of my door, I was suddenly hoisted off the ground by my neck, and before I could realize what was going on, my head was forcefully rammed into the bathroom mirror. Yelping in pain, I cracked my watering eyes open to face my barbaric assailants. Three rather gruff looking upperclassmen stood before me, their devilish grins shooting pins and needles into my spine. An attempt to open my mouth to call for help was futile: my lungs were currently being denied of their precious oxygen by the rather meaty individual who currently held my life in his hand. I kicked my hind legs erratically, hoping that somehow such an action would prevent my demise. I also quickly realized that my forehooves were quite useless against the hand of this massive guy; his grip threatened to reduce the size of my neck to the thickness of a straw.

I'm going to die... They're going to kill me... In the bathroom of a highschool...

Suddenly, he lifted me up in the air again, off the mirror, and dropped me to the ground. Gasping for air, I attempted to back away, before they could grab me again, but of course, such an action proved utterly futile. I screamed for help... I didn't know what else to do, really... I couldn't fight them, and even if I did, I would only die sooner. I was grabbed by the tail, and from what I heard earlier, it sounded a lot like these guys were in an anti-pony group. Unfortunately for me, that meant they were also likely trained on how to subdue a pony: go for the ears, nose, eyes, stomach, and most painful of all, the tail.

I was quickly and unimaginably painfully dragged across the bathroom floor. Just as I thought how I felt right then couldn't get any worse, one of them punted their foot directly into my stomach. I couldn't breathe; it hurt so much... I clenched my muscles as the immense pain of the kick, coupled with the remnants of meat sickness that plagued me still rocketed through my body.

"What's this? Animals don't wear clothes, fag!" I suddenly found my hoodie being ripped off over my head, and my mind kicked into overdrive.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GIVE THAT BACK!" That probably looked so unbelievably pathetic to them as I struggled on the floor, attempting to raise myself up on my wobbly legs, but the strength that I displayed just then was all that I could've possibly mustered in my current state. I was probably only a helpless puppy to them. You know, the ones that they used to kick around as kids? Well, I may have been the equivalent of that puppy to them, but I was an insult to their intelligence; to them, I was an animal that was just as smart as they were, and they hated me for it. They all did. That's the point of anti-pony ideals. Certain individuals just can't accept the fact that there can be another race or species equal, or even better than their own worthless selves.

"What did it say? Neigh? I think it's trying to communicate, guys," This guy now, he was the definition of insanity. He seemed to be the ringleader of their murder pack thing. Something about the demonic look in his eyes and the intonation of his voice scared the hell out of me. He kneeled down closer to me, cupping his ear in my direction as a satanic smile ungracefully graced his lips, "Wanna try again, horsey? Are you... trying to tell me something important?"

Still trying to raise my self off the ground despite my quivering legs, I was suddenly forced back down by the surprising force of the guy's hand driving my head into the ground. The side of my muzzle impacted the ground with a resounding crack. I screamed in agony: a bloodcurdling scream that frightened even me. Without warning, my neck was once again in the clutches of another: this time it was the ringleader.

"SCREAM ONE MORE TIME, AND I'LL RIP YOUR INTESTINES OUT, HEAR ME!?" I was sobbing now. It wasn't from emotional pain like before; this time it was physical. It all just hurt so much... I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to cry in front of them, especially not in front of them.

But for the love of whatever's up there, I did not want to die.

"Come on, horsey horsey horsey! You can do it!"

He let go of me, causing me to cough up the blood that had been created by the kick, and subsequently the injury to my mouth. I clenched down with my jaw, only to reveal that most of my teeth on my right side had been dislodged. I spit them out of my mouth along with more of the thick, dark red substance. It hurt so much even to do that much, but I looked up at my killers despite all of that, and answered the ringleader.

"Give me back-," a coughing fit that caused me to spit up more teeth and blood interrupted me, "my hoodie..." Another coughing fit erupted from my throat, and the pool of teeth and blood on the floor in front of me was growing enough to reach my coat and mane, turning the bright cyan and dark purple a shade of repulsive sanguine. Before I could even see it coming, the ringleader punted his boot into my chest with enough force to crack my ribs. I screamed again, regardless of his warning, but he immediately clinched his clammy hands around my muzzle, forbidding any more screams of pain from leaving my blood-coated throat. While he was still holding my muzzle, I felt a torrent of tears descend from my bloodshot eyes, almost reaching his hands... which were now coated with my blood. Turning back to his "colleagues", he smiled,

"All I heard was 'neigh whinny neigh neigh', and then something that sounded like 'hoodie'. Is that what you heard too guys?" They all shared a hearty laugh, which to me sounded like three bloodthirsty hyenas laughing at their prey, admiring how helpless it looked before its heart was ripped out of its chest, "Well, I don't see why it needs clothes: its an animal for Christ's sake."

Then, I heard the tearing. A wretched sound that made my remaining blood boil and turn to ice at the same time.

"NO! NO! I'LL KILL YOU! STOP! FUCK, JUST, JUST STOP! Please... no... please..." I watched as the final thread gave way to the grip of the first guy who grabbed me: the big one. I felt like I just watched my own death. One of the last things, for whatever reason, that held sentimental value to me was just ripped apart. That hoodie wasn't just a material object to me. It was who I was in material form. If I was anything besides a living being, I would be manifested in that hoodie.

And I was just ripped apart.

It seemed that there was to be no end to my tears; they only kept flowing down my battered face, tinging my blood soaked fur in a toxic concoction of iron and salt. I was only whimpering now, as my strength to wail in sorrow was all but sapped. My blood coated the bathroom floor, along with my strength and spirit. I only wished to lay there, and let come what may come. My broken hoodie was tossed back at me, impacting my head, and landing in my pool of blood and teeth. All of the sudden, I was taken over by an intense desire to sleep.

"Get away from him."

Oh god, Chandler... Don't get yourself involved in this... Not you... You're going to get yourself killed... I felt as if I was bolted to the floor; my hooves refused to move, regardless of how much I wanted them to. So, I just figured that I would have to watch as my best friend was inevitably ripped to shreds by these guys. Well, on the bright side, I'd get to drown in my own pool of blood for another minute while I watched Chandler's head get bashed into a sink or something. It was good knowing that I would die of blood loss instead of more direct intervention of those assholes. All the while, I'd get to watch my friend die a cruel and bloody death! Wasn't that a wonderful prospect?

"Ch... Chand..." I wheezed out, heaving for breath. Those guys must have packed some pretty intense hits if I was bleeding out like this. Is this what the HLF teaches these kids? To kill people like me?

"What was that? You, want us, to get away from him?" The leader guy's voice was as stupidly intimidating as ever, and made me sick to whatever parts of my stomach I had left. Every part of my body was screaming at me to just kill all of these guys in the goriest, and most horrific of ways to stop them from hurting Chandler. However, it seemed that I was bound to my bloody, bathroom floor of death, using up the last bit of water my body had left to produce the salty tears that were currently running down my gory, formally cyan cheeks.

"Leave right now, and at least you won't be tried for first degree murder." Chandler was doing his best, but the gang still laughed maniacally at his statement.

"You think the cops give a rat's ass about us? Please, the HLF's got its hand in everyone's pocket. Now, if we killed you, it would be a bit different. Hear that, horsey!? Your friend here's gonna be just fine." He looked at me with that menacing smile of his, "Can't say the same about you though, fag. Looks like the lights are about to go out in that tiny little noggin a' yours!" He returned his gaze to Chandler, who appeared as if a chord had been struck within him, "Don't worry horse-fucker, we're leaving." He leaned in closely to him, Chandler frozen solid,

"But if I were you, I'd do a favor for my human brothers and sisters and just end its life right here and now. Stop its suffering, and all that. I'd make the right choice." With that, my killers pushed past Chandler, and swiftly exited the bathroom, slamming the door behind them. As soon as the door settled, Chandler bolted over to my side, bearing the most frantic and worried expression that I had ever seen him don. Without saying a word, he quickly grabbed my ripped hoodie, and strung it across his back, regardless of the blood that coated it. He then carefully scooped me up in his arms, wary of the amount of pain I was in, and lifted me up to his chest.

So comfortable... so warm... so... sleepy... My last, fading image was that of Chandler's horrified face. A face that had never seen anything more gruesome, tragic, and painful as what he was privy to at this very moment.

His best friend was quickly approaching a horrific death in his arms... and the only reason for it was because the world saw his best friend as different.

And so, his death was a necessary one. Because the world said so.

... Or did it?

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