Great, Powerful, and Lonely

by Fedorable Deer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie
Length: 3173

Trixie talks to a professional, and makes a sudden realization.

On a psychiatrist's couch, we can make a lot of development, and Beatrix Lulamoon is no exception to this. After talking with Doctor Dex about how she lives, she comes to the understanding that she actually just feels alone.

Published 2015-01-21 07:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-02 02:40:42 UTC

Professional Help

Author's Note

Rough, with no pre-read. I just felt like writing, so here is a short and sweet piece. Constructive critique can do wonders, and to just state "It was bad", is a waste of your own time don't you think? :raritywink:

Professional Help

“Take a moment and breathe.” The therapist’s words, though cold in tone, did have some truth behind them. I needed to take a breath. I mean, I am Beatrix Lulamoon, The Great and Powerful Trixie! I assisted in defeating an Ursa Minor, I can definitely just take a simple, calm breath.

The air filled my lungs, but it felt like I was still choking on the nervous that dwelled in my stomach. Trixie is never nervous, that of course was a lie, a lie to myself. I don’t know why I do that, but I suppose if it works, it works.

“Tell me, have you taken what I said our last meeting into consideration Trixie?” Doctor Dex. levitated his quill, and I caught it moving over a paper in the corner of my vision. What was it he suggested again? Oh! To express my anger in a more productive way. I never knew why he asked me something like that. I mean, Trixie is never angry, nope she is the pure form of a cool chill. I suppose I do get a little irritated here and there, like when I forget to buy something at the grocery store, or some pony cuts me off when I am walking on the street like they own the thing. You know what a lot of things tick me off lik-

“Yeah of course, Trixie is always open to suggestions, and follows them.” I don’t know why I bothered lying, Doctor Dex. always seems to know anyways. He wrote that down,Uh- Oh. I aid the wrong thing. . . Oh he must be judging me, writing me down as insane or something, but Trixie is not insane! She is great, Omnipotent, All-Powerful!

“You know you don’t have to be nervous. Nothing leaves this room, which also means you can tell me the truth, if you did it or not.” It’s like he knows what I am thinking.

“Oh but Trixie tells you what she thinks.” Exactly, I mean why do I even come to these things. There is no problem with me, Ever-Wise Trixi-

“Well, Trixie, I’m happy to hear. So if you are perfectly fine, I suppose we can move onto another subject. Would you mind if I ask how you family is?”

“Trixie minds not, and - uh- . . .. Trixie has no idea, she has not checked.” When was the last time I called my mom? Or maybe my father? I sure hope they are doing fine. You know my brother is still in the academy. . . Or wait is he? How long ago was it since I last saw him?

Doctor Dex’s magic distracted my thoughts as he sipped from his cup of tea, and continued to look in my general direction, the quill moving faster as he smiled again.

“What of your friends? That Mare named Twilight Sparkle seemed nice, and isn’t she a princess now?” Doctor Dex kind of annoys me with those almost redundant questions, but he was right, why wasn’t I there when my own friend became a princess? No, they are not my friends.

“They are not the great Trixie’s friends, just. . . Good acquaintances.” Yeah, why would the great and powerful Trixie have to visit them? They should visit me first. After all my time is much too important to waste on some little fans.

“Well Ms.Trixie, who are your friends.” Doctor Dex said to me, leaving me stunned for a moment.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has plenty of friends!” Was my instinctive answer, but Doctor Dex’s look told me to go for specifics.

“For instance,” I continued , “Trixie has that grey mare who delivers mail as a friend. Oh, and has spoken to the large red Stallion on the orchards during one of her walks.”
“What are their names?” Doctor Dex’s questions were beginning to annoy me, but again, as annoying as they are, they hold truth. I didn’t know their names. But surely Trixie, as powerful and great as she is, has friends! I mean I hav- Oh celestia.

“I-I don’t have any friends.” The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, how could I not have friends? After all I am so great, so grand, where would all my friends be?

Doctor Dex spoke, and I was awaken from my dreaded day dream.

“You have friends Beatrix Lulamoon, you just don’t treat them like the fiends they want to be.” Wow, I can’t believe what he is saying. He was right, I have been pushing ponies away, and because of that I don’t have anypony to love Trixie. I mean, I’ve been so caught up in my own life, I haven’t even spoken to my parents in almost a year. I sat up slowly in the pillow, adjusting my back from the awkward position, and from there a tear came down my cheek. “Doctor Dex, how do -I- fix this.”

“Well,” Doctor Dex started, finishing the tea from his cup, “I’d begin by calling up Twilight Sparkle, and those friends of hers you told me about, and ask if you can spend some time together. A hang out, a mare’s night out, it doesn’t matter just try and let them know you want to be friends.”

“But what if Trixie messes things up?” I said in another instinctive response, and he had another responsive answer. “I’m sure she will you not, and neither will you.”

I could feel a smile crawling onto my face, not a fake one, not one I have been practicing to make, but rather a genuine smile. A smile you can feel coming, rather than feel leaving. Lacks muscles in the face, and unlike normal, you don’t strain to hold it and pretend to keep a light behind it. I don’t know, it was just, there. IT had nowhere else to go, but on my face and I wanted to keep it for a while.

“But, what about Trixie’s Family?” My question came out like broken glass, but Doctor Dex took it like a silk cloth, smooth and almost like he was reading my mind as he instantly answered, “I think, if you just tell your family you are doing fine, and ask how they are doing, everything will be easy from there.” His smile matched my own, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as I imagined spending time with friends, family. To spread Trixie’s greatness with others. I mean, what’s the point of being so great, if you have nopony to share it with, right?

Steel Wins Battles, Words Win Wars

Author's Note

No pre-read, but I have been loving all of your advice. I sure hope I did better in this one, please enjoy.

Steel Wins Battles, Words Win Wars

It was really tiring, to sit there and just stare at the paper before me. I didn’t know how those ponies would react. Of course positively, I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend time with the one and only Great Trixie!? Perhaps, in my mind, they would have over-reacted. Maybe I, the ever knowing and wise Trixie, was going over how they would spend most of the time just praising me, and my achievements, that is why I sat there for so much time in thought. Or maybe I was thinking something else, it’s hard to recall anything besides the very overwhelming feeling of butterflies gnawing at my stomach. Trixie will simply state she wishes to see them, yes nopony would ever take that the wrong way.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,” I began, but I was immediately struck back where I began. Nothing went through my head, and that is what frightened me the most.

“Trixie, why can you not write? Surely you should know more than any pony what to write.” I said, mostly to myself as I stargazed at the imaginary lights, conjured in my head to make the dark room much more interesting. My eyes went to the dimly lit mirror beside my nightstand, where I saw the most beautiful mare I’ve come to know. Her light blue mane came down in the most perfect way without even a hint of attempt to make it so, and her eyes, the most gentle and peaceful glow, it’s blue hint that carried, even in the darkest light, like a torch. Her coat, almost like the softest silk, appeared to have been hoof crafted into her body by some creator of great talent and art. The body toned and hued in the most perfect way, but even as great as she was, I was stuck. My magic’s glow moved the quill, but more of me being nervous, not to write the words. Why is it the mare that looked so good, was just so smart, could not come to write to a simple Princess.

Ah! Trixie you are a genious! My thoughts were right, I must have not been able to write that time for I was so caught up in thinking of her position. I had the most perfect idea it seemed. All I had to do was write to one of her, not princess, friends. My magic crumbled the paper and tossed it to the side as it brought forth another paper and I took that moment to admire the face in the mirror again. I don’t know how, but it seemed to grow even more beautiful than before.

“Dear Rarity,

The ever so great and powerful Trixie is contacting you. Yes, this may all be very exciting, but she comes with an important message. The ever so fun Trixie has reached you so that you may relay that I, yes the one and only Trixie would like to spend time with you and your friends. Now do not get too excite-”

That was all Rarity had to read before she took the letter with her magic, and placed it to the side, continuing to work on the project that had swamped her for the past month. Fourty dresses, each due by the end of the week, and the entire assembly would not be able to do themselves. She thought, “I’ll get to it later”.

Four weeks! Four weeks and those ponies did not respond to me?! I thought of it as the most disrespectful thing! Trixie spent her time, went out of her way to contact them, and they had yet to answer in four weeks. I placed my head back onto the empty mailbox and would have given a loud scream of irritation, had it not been for a streak of yellow and grey, that clumsily waltz it’s way from the sky in a zigzag line. The grey mare’s muzzle stuck in a letter envelope, trying to read the address she was looking for, and ended up crashing into the bush near my door.

“Letter for miss Trixie!” Her voice was strange as always. It was heavy, and dull, but yet gentle as if her words were a pillow for a priceless, but rough diamond. I don’t know why I suddenly picked up on these traits of her, and also of those walleyes, that I felt ashamed I never really noticed in her.

Why haven’t I seen these things by now, I see her nearly everda- My thoughts were interrupted by the mare who waved the letter. Of course, I was just the least rude to her anypony could be, for the ever polite Trixie was famous for how she dealt with situations like this.

“About time, Trixie was beginning to worry you’d be late again! You must have some nice ties with your boss, because you should be fired with such delay.” Okay maybe I could have been less harsh, but she did wave the letter in my face like she was on a schedule.

“Sworry.” And with that she would have flied off if I had not seen her eyes. They weren’t watery, but definitely had grown a misty hue as she seemed to take what I said very seriously. I don’t know what came over me, perhaps sympathy for somepony who doesn’t know how to be as great as I, or perhaps- Oh nevermind.

“Hey,” I began, and she turned immediately to my words, “Trixie thanks you for your services, and she, ever so Apologetic, did not mean those words she said.” I said to her, and her mood changed completely. With my small, ever so tiny comment, I watched her change from a pony, who must have been having a bad day, into a pony of complete happiness. I don’t know what happened over the course of two seconds, but she seemed to beam at me with a large smile that sort of warmed my heart at just the sight. It felt like sitting at a dock and closing your eyes, hearing gentle waters rush and the sun splash you with waves of it’s own gentle heat.

“It’s what I do ma’am.” The mare said, in a heavy and clumsy voice, but it was kind of adorable to see her salute, and fly away to go to her next house. I sat there, wondering to myself, How did a simple sentence change that entire encounter? I didn’t spend that much time on that question to myself, one of the All Curious Trixie’s famous asides as you all know, because I had before me a letter I KNEW must be those six ponies that have taken my invitation so lightly as to take four weeks to respond to me.

I ripped open the envelope with great expectation, a smile on my face, but I could feel it drooping back down into a scowl as I read on the top, “DO WE HAVE A DEAL FOR YOU! BUY ONE GET ONE FREE AT THE COUCH AND QUILL SHOP!”

Had they really forgotten about me? I asked myself silently, tossing the crumpled letter to the ground behind me. I, at that time, felt a gaping hole form in my chest. I felt that Doctor Dex was wrong, he had to be wrong. Why would they not return the simple courtesy of a letter, even to one as great as I? Yes I may come across as rude, but surely they are not avoiding me for that when they spend time around that Rainbow maned girl. I can come across as to the point, but I do not think the orange apple mare is any good at white lying either. What is it they don’t like so much, as to ignore my request?

Flustered with the simple realization I would probably never get a response, I left it be and headed back into my house. Holding in my hooves disappointment, and a strong anger for the lie Doctor Dex had told me.

“It didn’t work.” Doctor Dex, obviously surprised with what I said as I walked inside of his office, looking up from his daily coffee.

“What do you mean Trixie?” The psychiatrist stated, pointing to my normal spot on his couch, which I took with a groan. My back straightening to an awkward, but comfortable position with my forehooves coming onto my stomach.

“The Great Trixie sent a letter to those six ponies, and they have not responded yet! It have been four weeks, and no letter has come to my attention!” In my tone there was a sense of irritation, I didn’t like explaining what other ponies should have known to begin with, but I could not be mad at him. Not everypony is as good at detective work as the Ever Keen Trixie.

“Well maybe your letters were sent to the wrong addresses, I know, with multiple addresses, I sometimes can jumble up the numbers myself.” I watched as the unicorn levitated the quill in the corner of the room again, and began to write again. The small etching sounds filled the short silence as I observed it’s movements, and I could have watched it for hours, had it not been for the sip of the coffee bringing me back to reality.

“No, No, Trixie, the Great and Exact, went over her address over and over. there is no way she had made a mistake!” I was starting to get irritated with Doctor Dex, but he didn’t seem to notice as he lifted a brow.

“Her? You mean you only sent it to one of them?” The Psychiatrist asked, sipped his coffee , and I heard the quill, that once danced with such enthralling movements, stop at that moment.

“Well yes Trixie did. Was that wrong? Trixie, the Ever-so-Busy has much more important things than to write letters if you must know.”I stated, and he just nodded. I blinked at him, and he tapped his muzzle with his hoof in thought.

“Well I think we should approach this at a different angle. Trixie, how would you like to write them now.” Doctor Dex stated, levitating over what seemed to be time cards.

“Pardon?” I was a little confused by that statement, but he lifted his hoof as if to interrupt further questioning.

“If you are truly busy, you can use the time we have now in order to send all six their individual letters. I can help you write each one if you like.” Doctor Dex smiled as his magic brought over a stack of clear paper and placed it gently next to me.

“Well why would I write to them, if even one of them is so busy they don’t even respond to me?” I turned from the paper, showing I wasn’t going to write anything down, but I guess my idea changed whenever Doctor Dex chuckled and lifted a quill beside me. “Then you should empathize with them well, The Ever Understanding Trixie.”

I took the quill with my magic, and looked over to Doctor Dex, who was smiling at me, and drinking from his coffee.

“Trixie supposes she will write to them all. But she is not paying if she has to stay longer.” I took the quill with my own magic, and Doctor Dex just nodded.

“I don’t have another patient until a few hours from now, you’ll have plenty of time.” Doctor Dex placed his coffee to the side. I could swear, at that very moment, I could feel the smile return, and my body warm up. I didn’t know why, and I started to recognise the feeling. It was the same feeling I felt when Twilight Sparkle had forgiven me, after the whole fiasco with the alicorn amulet. I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it, but I did definitely feel a small spark, and my body felt lighter and more bouncy. A feeling I hoped would not be fleeting.