Apologies Aren’t Always Enough
Chapter 9
Full Chapter
Written by FreeHomeBrew
Edited by FreeHomeBrew
Reviewed by Sadistic Fluttershy
Chapters 1-6 written by Sadistic Fluttershy
Today had been eventful, more so than Sunset had thought, or hoped. Had she been in a healthy state of mind and body, it would not have been much out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, she bore fresh scars of various varieties, and some old ones had come to itch.
She’d said her goodnights to her parents. Usually it’d just be that, though tonight Fleur came in for a hug, lasting a few ticks longer than expected. She’d embraced her mother saying she loved her, her mother had done the same. Sunset had noticed Fleurs haircut had been less than perfect. Though Fleur had smiled, Sunset could tell she had had a rough day. Like mother like daughter.
There was little to be done.
Sunset too had been dreadfully tired getting into bed. The innards of her soul still restless, guiding her mind to destinations unknown. She’d gradually strayed from that path set by Twilight: Remember the good times. She had drifted from eddies of should-haves and could-haves to rapids ascending the pinnacles of many dear and damned memories.
Amidst this maelstrom she’d become aware of her situation and all slowed to a gentle halt. Her mind had caught up with the rest in her body, though she was yet to enter Luna’s domain. Sensations from the outside world bled into the memories passing by. Dreams and the real becoming indistinguishable.
All she wanted, and did, was to relax and let it all go. Tomorrow would come. The flow of thoughts continued gently. She found herself kicking a soccer ball with Rainbow Dash as a goalie, followed by having a normal lunch at school, a class, sitting at home with her parents, all peacefully doing their own things.
Lying in the hospital, alone.
Sunset’s eyes shot open. She took a moment to get her bearings.
In the dark she heard the sound of the others sleeping peacefully around her. She could make out Pinkie Pie lying in front of her, near enough to feel her breath on her face.
She moved to lie in a reclined position, resting on her elbows. In the dim ambient light, she looked around and saw her five friends sleeping close by. The glimmering hands of the clock told Sunset that the night had only just begun. Near the wall she noticed an empty sleeping bag. Through the slit under the door shone an amber light coming from downstairs.
Stealthily, Sunset got up on her sleeping bag. Careful not to step on anybody, she moved towards the door, wanting to see who it was downstairs, and get a glass of water. In a few steps she’d reached the door and held the handle. She turned to overlook the room before heading out.
Without a doubt, it was her room. All her homely belongings were here, as well as all her guests for the sleepover. Maybe it was her mother downstairs.
She turned the handle and opened the door. Sneaking outside, she closed the door suit and went to go downstairs.
The light on the lower floor emanated from behind an open fridge door in the kitchen, casting a wide silhouette of the person in front of it. A familiar person.
“Twilight?” Sunset asked.
Twilight turned around, having finished only half her drink. “Hello Sunset,” she said. ”I guess you couldn’t sleep either. What’s got you up at this hour?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Sunset sighed. “Believe me, I wish I could just go to sleep. I’m completely spent. I could just lie down right here and now and sleep past noon,” she gestured at the marble floor. She noticed Twilight was still waiting for an answer.
Sunset put a hand behind her head, frowning, trying to put any reason to words. She lowered her hand again, letting both hang limply by her sides. Her eyes downcast.
“I don’t know,” she repeated. “I just have this deep sense of loneliness lingering around. Like I’m not wanted.” She looked to Twilight. “I hadn’t had a single card or call or anything when I was in the hospital. How sad is that? Doesn’t anyone care?”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Twilight said, brows furrowed. “It must have been lonely.”
Sunset simply nodded. She recalled a dream visited upon her in the hospital, having made the same observation of not having had any well-wishes from anyone. In that dream she’d been walking on an endless concrete floor, surrounded by nothing but a black void. Her world reduced to nothing but her lonesome self.
In the distance she’d found her friends, close enough to run towards them. She saw them looking back. Yet, every time she ran towards them they’d run away, going ever further out of reach. They had called out hurtful taunts she fortunately couldn’t remember. In the end she had tripped from exhaustion and painfully fallen to her knees, crying, begging them to come back to her. They’d all but vanished. Soon, Sunset’s cries had quieted to a whimper for anyone to come for her.
There had been nothing but the void. That loneliness had sunk deep, to the very bottom. It had dragged her down with it.
Behind Twilight, Sunset noticed the clock on the microwave. Now was not the time for stories. Twilight had put her glass to her lips, having the rest of her drink.
“So, how about you?” Sunset asked. “What’s your excuse for being here?”
Twilight raised a finger while she drank the last bit of milk from her glass. When she finished, she placed her glass on the counter, smiling a nostalgic smile. “I’ve just been thinking about the things that have happened over the past few years.” She turned to face Sunset. ”Friendship reports and such.”
“I see,” Sunset said.
“During my time in Ponyville and in this world, I’ve come to learn so much about friendship and what it all entails,” Twilight continued. “Tonight, with all of us together, I felt we have something absolutely special.”
“We’ve been through thick and thin together, exploring the things we enjoy about each other. Patching up after stumbling through the things we didn’t. We connect at an otherworldly level, and not just in the literal sense.”
Sunset had known some of Twilight’s history, though there was much more to it than just when their lives had intertwined. Seeing her speak with passion and understanding about the friendships she has, and maybe has had, filled her with a hope that one day she might know and feel the same.
“When I lay down tonight, I felt a tremendous joy, having had such a fun and exciting day with all of us. Then, I kept polishing that sentiment, that diamond in the rough. I know it goes much further than that.” She paused for no more than a breath. “It hadn’t just been today. I’ve had many fun and exciting times with everyone. Not just fun and exciting times but deep and difficult times as well.”
Twilight’s words evoked in Sunset thoughts of the common and mundane. Sharing a cupcake, playing games, singing songs, arguing and making up, even working on schoolwork together. Thoughts that fuelled embers of kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty and honesty; the everyday is special, Sunset realized.
Behind Twilight, a light came to glow.
“And you know what?” Twilight paused. “I will treasure the bad times too. It is part of who we are. Without them, the good times have no meaning. Both are changes that make us who we are.”
Ears, a tail, a horn and wings emerged from the radiance as her speech came to its conclusion.
“Our past shapes us, our friendships. All of us together, and our friendships will shape our destiny.”
The light had vanished. The refrigerator had gone silent. Even the clocks had stopped ticking. The newly angelic silhouette moved closer to that of Sunset, arms down and forward, palms open.
Twilight looked deep into Sunset’s eyes; Sunset stared back into her heart. The lights from the refrigerator twinkled in their eyes. Twilight spoke quietly: “I’m really lucky to have such great friends,” and embraced Sunset as gently as Sunset knew only her mother could. “You’re a wonderful daughter. I’m glad to have you in my life.”
Sunset had remained still, at a loss for words or action. She felt Twilight’s warmth against her chest, her arms around her back. Her head besides hers. An embrace of wholehearted acceptance. Her strengths, her love, flaws, her faults. The darkness residing within her, Twilight had accepted her. All of her. And she was her friend.
Slowly, Sunset lifted her trembling arms and put them around Twilight. For a silent while, the girls remained as they were. Sunset relaxed, coming to understand Twilight. To one as analytical and observant as her, every waking moment spent in company is special. Within Sunset, the fires of friendship were rekindled in ways they had never been before, shining a new light that cast away the shadows of loneliness and solitude. If only it could last.
The moment passed and they parted from the embrace. Sunset wiped her eyes. She noticed Twilight had gone back to normal.
“So,” Twilight began, “how about you?” She stepped aside to let Sunset raid the fridge.
“I don’t know. I just have a lot on my mind,” Sunset said. “I just kept mulling everything over without really falling asleep.” She sighed. “I’m actually really exhausted.” She got a drink and shut the door.
“I just want to live a normal life,” Sunset said, “but I guess that was never an option to begin with. Being a magical half-demon alien ‘n all.” She upped the bottom of her glass and closed the fridge door.
Twilight smiled. Hearing Sunset make light of her unfortunate situation meant that she had at least made peace with it to that extent.
“I hope you’ll find a way,” Twilight said. “I hope we can find a way, together.”
Sunset nodded “I hope so too.”
“I know we will,” Twilight said confidently.
The kitchen door opened up gently and revealed Sunset’s father. It didn’t look like he’d been in bed for long.
“Honey, will you be going back to bed soon?” he said.
“Yeah, ” Sunset said, “sorry if we kept you up.”
Fancy Pants didn’t respond and instead yawned and turned around.
“I hope we didn’t keep him up?” Twilight asked.
“Nah,” Sunset said, “I don’t think so. We should go back to bed though.”
Twilight went back upstairs while Sunset finished her drink before following suit.
Back in bed, she huddled comfortably in her blankets, thinking of what had just happened. She wasn’t alone. She had her friends here by her side, ready to overcome the difficulties in their lives.
She thought back to Twilight’s embrace, how she had accepted her. Sunset had factually known it, but now, for the first time, had she actually felt it. Realized it. In a way, it had only been the tip of a massive iceberg. There was so much more Twilight had learnt and come to make her own than Sunset has witnessed. If only she knew a fraction of what Twilight knows, things might’ve not spiralled out of control as they had. Maybe things would be easier to repair.
Twilight. Sunset would need her help greatly in all of this. Never before had four mere days seemed like such a long time to her. With thoughts of having fun with her otherworldly friend, or perhaps homeworldly friend, her heart danced, and she fell asleep with a smile.
***
Without much recollection of the night before, Sunset found herself going through her morning motions completely on autopilot. No relevant thoughts had popped up, nothing in particular came to mind. It wasn’t until she’d sit down at breakfast with her parents that she’d be engaged.
Sunset entered the dining hall, brightly lit by the morning light that made its way in through the skylights. Her parents were standing by the breakfast table, patiently waiting for their daughter to join them, delighted to see her in good health and standing. They were actually smiling, a sight Sunset had considered to be lost and gone forever. She sat down with her parents.
It had been a strange comfort, being in such happy and familiar company where speaking up might throw such a perfect moment out of some sort of delicate balance. Sunset’s curiosity got the best of her however.
“I’m glad to see you two smiling again,” Sunset said. “Exciting times today?”
“Your mother will be partaking in a very important photo shoot for a high end fashion designer studio today,” Fancy Pants said, turning to his gorgeous wife. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Oh dear, thank you.” Fleur said, pausing. “I was going to say it’s no big deal or something to brag about but,“ Fleur chuckled, ”this is one of the biggest clients I’ve ever had. The crème de la crème,” she smiled brightly, “I’d be mistaken to say otherwise.”
“Wow,” Sunset said “that sounds great!”
“That’s not all,” Fleur continued. “Tell her, honey.”
Fancy Pants turned to his daughter, collected but with an undeniable glimmer in his eyes. “I’m meeting with our greatest shareholder to gain his approval for important changes I would like to see come to fruition.”
“What kinds of changes?” Sunset asked.
“I was thinking of setting up an institution of higher education especially to train young talents and allow them to start their careers at one of our finer companies,” he said. “Be it in fashion, culinary arts, hotel management or entrepreneurship. All talents need a good start,” he said with a smile. Concern riddled his face when he continued however. “I need to convince the shareholders of how good an investment this will be in 5 years time, when the first applicants will graduate. I don’t want to set too many restrictions on those who apply or graduate. I believe they will have the insight and humanity to be grateful enough to come work with us and further their career.”
Fleur turned to her husband. “I don’t recall you having ever failed. As I recall, this particular shareholder is also one of the oldest. He’s been here for all of your previous changes,” she said. Her expression softened. “He stood by you even when you’ve had less success.”
“You’ll be fine, dad,” Sunset said. “Who could oppose an idea that great, to help talents start out like that.” She rubbed her chin, thinking, “though I do see why you’d need to set some conditions. Maybe only certify the graduates after they’ve worked two years for you after graduating. Earn back the investment.”
“Exactly,” Fancy Pants said. “But it needs to be both fair and appealing,” he smiled. “Thank you for your support. Both of you.”
“I’ve missed this,” Sunset said, “the good times. I was worried work had become more of a burden than a blessing since you two didn’t seem as cheerful.”
Sunset’s had a hard time keeping up her warm expressions, sensing something was amiss, somehow. Life couldn’t be this good. Why was it that deep down, there was that bucket, overflowing with misery. Tendrils of loneliness and abandonment springing forth from the puddles, tugging her down.
She looked at her parents and saw the light surrounding her in all ways that mattered most. Honest to Celestia, she wanted this. She had longed for this for a while now. Could she not enjoy this blissful moment presenting itself so plainly?
Her parents hadn’t noticed anything of her inner life. Breakfast conversations had moved on to trivial mundanities. Sunset had become distracted enough to let go of her worries and finally, without even realising, she too had smiled. Ignorance is bliss.
An overcast had rolled in over breakfast, and when Sunset pulled out her bike, it had started to drip. Her parents suggested to have her brought to school but Sunset waved it off. She’d have much more freedom this way.
She glanced back at her parents one last time, seeing them as happy as ever. A simple fact she’d decided to hold on to for the rest of the day.
About ten minutes into her ride she’d come to regret not taking their advice, as she was completely soaked to the bone from torrential showers that did not let up one bit. No wind, no cold, but certainly a bountiful hosing. The schoolyard was empty save for the lone student running from the bike stands or parking lots towards the entrance. Ditzy was running just ahead of her when she finally reached the door.
Ditzy ran in and immediately twirled around the door, getting out of Sunset’s way and holding it open, though not without booping her nose into the other side of the glass window in the door. Sunset ran in, her clothes sticking tight to her body. Small streams of water drizzled off of any sharp creases and edges.
“Thanks for holding the door, Ditzy,” Sunset said.
Ditzy moved from behind the door, rubbing her nose. She tried to focus her gaze on Sunset, only managing to do so with one eye. “You’re welcome,” she said as friendly as ever.
Ditzy looked as though she had something else on her mind so Sunset decided to just wring her clothes on the spot just in case.
Her clothes were still absolutely soaked. She looked down and checked herself. Even her shoes were soggy. Before hers were Ditzy’s, which were shuffling in place and mostly just making a V-shape.
“What’s the matter Ditzy?” Sunset asked. Internally, Sunset couldn’t help but wonder if there was still that lingering fear of her old self preventing normal interactions with anyone but her five friends. Even with those five, her doubts would never leave her. If there was one consoling factor here it was that with Ditzy, abnormal interactions are the norm.
“I wanted to tell you something but I can’t put it into words,” Ditzy said. “Something is different, maybe wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
Ditzy’s was making a face that could only be the result of gears spinning at maximum capacity. She put her hands to her head and closed her eyes tight.
“Woah Ditzy, easy there,” Sunset said, holding her arms out without really knowing what to do next. “I’m sure that if it’s important, It’ll come to you.”
Ditzy let up. She’d calmed down and faced Sunset with concern. “I guess the most important thing I wanted to say is that I hope you’ll make the right decision.”
Sunset looked about herself and then back at Ditzy. “I think I’ve already made my worst decision today,” Sunset said while draining some water from her hair. “I’m not too worried.”
Sunset turned to the next door, separating the inside of the building with the small double doored entrance. She opened them up and walked through, holding them open for Ditzy.
Ditzy nodded in appreciation. She waved her goodbye and Sunset went on to find her friends in the cafeteria.
In the cafeteria, her friends were waiting for her to join them. They’d saved her regular spot.
“...so I probably won’t be around by the afternoon,” Pinkie Pie said. “I’ll have to go see a dentist.”
“I was going to say ‘lucky you’ considering we’ll be playing dodgeball,” Rarity said, “but then I recall you being quite fond of that game. A bit much, almost.”
“What’s the matter Rarity?” Rainbow called her out, “can’t take a little action? A bit of roughhousing?” She teased.
“If I am to exercise I’d much prefer to be dancing,” Rarity said. “If only P.E. were limited to fun activities like that,” She sighed.
“I agree,” Fluttershy said. “Though, I probably wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t always end up facing you two.”
Dash frowned in mock anger. “Well you two always get Flash Sentry and Shining Armor. All we get are a few crumbs.”
“And Big Mac!” Pinkie Pie shouted. Big Mac looked up from his spot, but nothing came of it.
“An’ today’s the day we’ll finally beat yer team,” Applejack said. “Ah’ve figured a way to git him off a the field.”
Sunset approached her friends and sat down. “Wow, things sure are lively today. You’re all fired up as if you’re on the court already.”
“AJ ‘n I always compete during P.E.,” Rainbow Dash said proudly.
“We just get dragged into it with the rest,” Fluttershy said, futility apparent in her voice.
“Meh,” Pinkie Pie shrugged. ”I’ll have fun no matter who’s team I end up in. I do like me some dodgeball though.”
No surprise there. High energy Pinkie Pie in a high energy game like that, no wonder she likes it. She’d play it all on her own if she had to.
“So,” Rarity began, “tell us the good news?”
Sunset looked around at her friends, noticing they were all staring back.
“Who, me?”
“Yes you, silly!” Rarity said. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long while. Something must have happened? A warm and wide smile like that doesn’t just come from nowhere.”
“I- I don’t know,” Sunset began. “I’m just happy to see my friends again. It’s as if we’ve been really distant.” A pang of sadness came over her, spasming her diaphragm. “Like I don’t even know you anymore.”
She started to sniffle and wipe at her eyes. “I don’t know why. I’m just really happy you’re all here with me.”
There was a collective “aww” from her friends, who closed in for a hug. Rarity gave her a handkerchief to clean her face. Sunset graciously took it, embarrassed to be overcome in public like this.
“I don’t want to be upset with you, any of you.” Sunset said. “You’re my friends.”
Rainbow Dash put her hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry Sunset,” she said with her typical confidence, “we’ll always have your back!”
The others nodded in agreement.
“Thanks, you guys,” Sunset said.
Behind Applejack, a red bow rapidly drew closer, accompanied by the sound of three excited pairs of footsteps. Applejack turned around when she felt a tugging on her blouse.
“Howdy there Apple Bloom!” She said to her little sister. “What’s up?”
Sunset stood up, forcefully pushing back her chair, making a loud scraping noise. “I gotta go” she scowled.
Her friends looked among themselves in confusion, as did the Cutiemark Crusaders.
“What’s wrong darling?” Rarity asked. “It’s just our little sisters. You know them well.”
Sunset stood behind her chair, clenching the top of the back. Every fibre of her strained itself. Despite carrying a fair poker face, her eyes subtly exposed her resentment.
The crusaders quickly looked among themselves for answers but none came forth. Concluding they must’ve upset Sunset, they could only say one thing.
“We’re sorry we upset you,” Scootaloo said.
“We just wanted our sisters back,” Sweetie Belle followed up.
Applebloom was about to speak up but Sunset beat her to it.
“You’re sorry?!” She shouted in anger. She was completely flustered. She made a fist and couldn’t stop shaking. It took a moment for her to find the next thing to say. “You better be sorry! I don’t even know where to begin your book of sins! Do you have any idea of all the harm you’ve caused with your” Sunset clenched her teeth, squinted her eyes and held her finger and thumb real close together “little prank?”
Sunset looked around the cafeteria but nobody had paid any notice. She turned back at the crusaders, who were staring back in fear.
“I’ve seen friendships broken over your little stunt! People were getting bullied because of you.” She looked at her scratched and dirtied hands and arms. “I got bullied.” Sunset partially unbuttoned her blouse to reveal her scars “I got stabbed because of you! To death had it not been for a saving grace!”
The cutiemark crusaders, her friends, everyone flinched at her loud and angry voice. Clocks seemed to have given up counting down the seconds the following silence lasted while Sunset buttoned up her blouse.
“You’re sorry?” she spat. “I’m sorry.”
Sunset turned around in rage, going to her class. It wasn’t long before she found herself behind a desk and reaching for her biology books. Just like that, all was right again.
Class started off with an introduction about the material to cover along with some assignments for the remainder of the hour. It was recommended to work in groups of three. Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had joined up, so Rainbow Dash and Applejack came to sit with Sunset.
“Please turn your pages to assignment sixteen: mapping the dorsal neural pathways,” the teacher instructed. Students paged through their books to find it. “You will find a list of pathways going from the brain, along the vertebrae and to the rest of the body. Today, we will map what parts of the spine correspond to what parts of the body in terms of both in- and outbound signals.”
“I’ve set you up in groups of three so you can correct one another. Choose one person to pick a spinal nerve ending or segment. Then choose another person to connect it to the body. Then have the third person check if it’s correct. Cycle your roles. Mark how many you get right. If you want to, you can compete as a team with the other teams for a highest score.”
Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up and she immediately looked towards Rarity’s team. Much to her surprise however, Rarity was smiling a wicked and knowing smile back at her.
“This isn’t sports, Dash,” She said coyly. “We’ve got you beat by a long shot.”
Dash broke a sweat. “Oh? ... H-how so?” She said, hesitant.
Fluttershy turned around to face her as well, smiling the same smile that Rarity had.
“I just passed the first part of my veterinarian assistant internship,” Fluttershy said. “I’ve read nothing but books about animals. About both their outsides,” she paused, “and insides.”
Dash realized she’d already lost before she’d even begun. She turned to face her team.
Sunset smiled confidently. “Don’t worry Dash, I’ll be the trump card they’ll never expect. I’ve already covered this stuff back to front and back again while I was in the hospital.”
“Fhew-wee,” Applejack sighed, “that’s mighty reassuring.” She turned to Rarity. “Here’s somethin’ Ah learned havin’ lived on a farm since Ah was little: Don’t count yer chickens before they hatch!” She high-fived Dash, who got back into the spirit of things.
Perusing the list one by one, they went and figured out most of the connections. Nerves in the neck connected to muscles and senses in the neck itself. Lower neck nerves control breathing and movement of the arms and chest. A large section below those, extending almost to the tail bones, controls most of the things happening in the chest and gut area, along with the hips and thighs.
The last bit is what really caught Rainbow Dash’ attention: control of the legs and how it relates to the spine. One of the images presented was a side-by-side of a see-through drawing of a person and a picture of that same person sitting in a wheelchair. On the image, it was indicated how this person got paralysed and what parts of the spine had been affected. They had fully lost control over one leg, and partial over the other.
“It says here,” Dash began, “they had fallen on their tailbone.” Dash was reading from the book slowly and with full attention. “At first, the legs had seemed fine, but due to complications they hadn’t foreseen, the nerves got damaged permanently only hours later.”
She looked at her teammates slightly distressed. “Yikes.” She said.
“Wouldn’t want that ta happen,” AJ said, “How’d Ah even run the farm?”
“Or compete against me?” Dash winked, before stoicism returned to her. “But yeah. How’d I even come running to anyone’s rescue? That’d be the worst.”
“What do you mean?” Sunset asked, curiously enough. Dash looked at her not befuddled, but lonely.
“I don’t think you’d forgive me if didn’t stand by your side in your hour of need,” Dash said. “If you ever get into trouble or danger and I can’t be there to protect you, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”
Sunset drew closer her blanket, grateful to see Rainbow Dash sitting beside her in her hospital room. She had missed Dash when her friends had all come to see her, so she was glad to see Rainbow Dash came through for her in the end, even if it was just her, and just a little late.
“I don’t want to lose you, Sunset,” Rainbow Dash continued. “If I ever end up hurting you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Sunset realized it wasn’t often Rainbow Dash would open up like this, to her or anyone. In that regard, her friend was still quite mysterious. It had always been pretty obvious from her behaviour what affected her since she’s quite the open book when it came to her surface self. However, Sunset had been mostly ignorant of her inner life beyond the visible. How she felt, why she felt, the things that moved her.
“Thank you, Dash,” Sunset said. “I know you won’t let me down.”
Dash smiled, getting back into the competition of the assignment. She looked at Applejack, who was blushing slightly and looking away. “What?” Dash asked.
Applejack remained quiet, so Sunset got the book and read the next paragraph.
“Oh come on Applejack,” she said. “It’s a biology textbook. This is how it works.”
Dash snickered. “Yeah, just make sure to never hurt your tailbone nerves or you’d risk getting syndrome of out-of-control-vagi-”
“Ah get it!” AJ shouted. “Lower nerves, lower pahrts.” Her blush had only deepened. “Can we just count ah’r scores yet?”
Sunset looked at their friends’ table, noticing Pinkie Pie egging on Rarity. Fluttershy was sitting there quietly, redder than even Applejack. Must’ve gotten to the same paragraph.
She looked down to ponder and noticed again the blemishes on her arms and hands. It was okay. Around her she heard her friends cheerful laughter. Inside, she felt their warmth. After all that has happened, it felt good to be back to normalcy like this. This is what school was. This was fun. This is harmony, as things are supposed to be.
“Thanks guys,” Sunset said. “For being there for me.”
“No problem, Sunset!” AJ said.
“We’ve always got your back,” Dash said. “And right now, we all got this back,” she patted the assignment paper “in the bag.”
Sunset nodded and looked at the teacher, who was waiting for the class to calm down. The group with the highest score got to present their results on a sheet the teacher had prepared in advance. Since her team and Fluttershy’s team had the same outcome, the both of them went on to present their findings.
Standing in front of the class with a friend, talking about something the both of them knew well, filled Sunset with confidence. Seeing her classmates stare back with neither dread nor disdain, but in their stead joy and pride, was something she hadn’t yet dared to dream of. Yet here she stood before her peers who previously had done nothing but avoid her out of fear or out of a judgement for tarnishing their reputation. A nasty misjudgement.
Ever since her defeat, this had been all she’d wanted.
After the presentation, she went back to sit with her team. Fluttershy’s team joined them.
“You guys did surprisingly well!” Rarity said, “considering we had Fluttershy on our team.”
Applejack put an arm around Sunset. “Ah guess ya didn’t count on us havin’ such an amazin’ trump card.”
“Are you kidding me?!” Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly. “That was really out of the blue!”
Fluttershy smiled brightly at Sunset. A smile that let her know just how much she had pushed herself to catch up on this material, and then ace it. Sunset nodded. Just like that, the wordless exchange had conveyed more than mere words could have.
The short while before the end of class was spent in their heart-warming atmosphere. The idle chit chat all took place where their lives met with the subject matter of the chapter, allowing Fluttershy and Sunset to talk at length and the rest to listen in earnest.
The bell rang, and the next class of students entered the room, among whom were the CMC. It wasn’t much of a scene, but Sunset quietly scoffed at them when she left the room. Outside, she’d wanted to wait up for Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash but their little sisters kept them longer than Sunset could wait. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy urged her on to their next class.
“I can’t believe those three being this carefree” Sunset said. “After all they’ve done, not just to me or us, but everyone.”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
Flabbergasted. Sunset threw her arms up, asking with a raised voice: “Are you serious? Did Applejack not tell you?!”
Sunset saw Fluttershy moving her mouth but nothing intelligible came forth so she continued.
“When I needed you most, you all stood against me! None of this would’ve happened if they hadn’t spread all their filth and lies! They could’ve just talked to their sisters about spending time with us!”
She turned to Pinkie Pie when Fluttershy hadn’t said anything. She could see the gears turning behind those brilliant blue eyes, landing on curiosity.
“It’s strange” Pinkie started. “They never threw a fuss when we’d all hang out before.”
“What?” Sunset asked flatly.
“Like, before you were our friend,” Pinkie Pie said. “Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash would hang out with us and plenty of others all the time. Rainbow Dash didn’t get this good at soccer from spending time with Scootaloo.”
Pinkie Pie looked to Fluttershy, who confirmed her story with a simple nod and an expression like she’d just been informed that grass is green.
Pinkie Pie turned to move to their next class, urging her two companions to follow suit. Sunset tried to protest but before she even found her words, without even realizing it, she again sat at a desk in front of another whiteboard, absentmindedly staring at nothing in particular.
Sunset noticed the board was covered in scribblings regarding the history of Equestrian Magic and a summary of the most influential stallions and mares and the revolutions they caused. Something she hadn’t seen in a long while.
She sat upright and flipped through her notebook to find an empty page, and a pen. A pen. No pen. No bag of hers nearby either.
“What’s the matter?” Fluttershy asked.
“I think I left my bag somewhere else ...” Sunset said, still searching. She turned to face her friend. “Have you seen it anywhere?”
Fluttershy got up. “I think you left it in the hallway” and off she went to grab it.
“You don’t have t-” Sunset’s words came too late, she figured, so she turned back to the whiteboard. To her horror, the teacher was just about done wiping the board.
The teacher turned around. “Why so sad Sunset?” he asked, noticing her frown. “I thought you loved learning?”
Sunset gave him a sarcastic look “I was, until you erased it.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry” he sincerely apologized. He put the brush down on his desk. He started walking towards the door to shut it and begin his lecture.
“It would’ve been the perfect opportunity to put those pesky cell phones of yours to use” he mock scolded. “Next time, feel free to take a picture, alright?”
Sunset liked this teacher. He reminded her of the Celestia she left behind. The biggest difference, which was his biggest perk over Celestia, was that he was much less forgiving of mistakes. Especially so when it came to breaking the rules of his class. He was nice, gentle and kind, but enough so to always point out your mistakes and make you own them, which some took as anger or hostility.
Sunset smiled and nodded.
“Just be sure to shut them off before I start my class.”
The teacher was drawing closer to the door, and Sunset noted Fluttershy hadn’t returned to her seat yet. Somewhat startled, Sunset looked at the door. Fluttershy was hanging from the doorpost into the hallway, reaching for Sunset’s bag. The teacher’s hand was already on the door.
“Mister Obtuse, wait!” Sunset suddenly shouted.
Mister Obtuse was a calm and collected man. An attitude he’d honed during his years as a firefighter before he found his true calling. Now too he had remained calm and collected; alert and ready for the necessary actions. He very deliberately turned to Sunset, focussing his attention. That was a mistake.
As soon as Sunset and Obtuse made eye contact, the sounds of first a crunch, then a click and then a not very muffled scream of agony followed in rapid succession.
Immediately, the teacher turned on point and reopened the door. Swiftly, he instructed Fluttershy to calm down, hold her hand steady on her belly as he gently picked her up. He steadily paced away in the direction of the nurse’s office.
The last thing Sunset saw of Fluttershy was a tearful grimace. “I’m sorry”, Sunset could’ve sworn she’d heard Fluttershy whisper.
The scene had not gone unnoticed by others. Her friends rushed after Fluttershy without a second thought. The rest of the class was now standing in the hallway and in the door opening, looking after the rushing scene. A few grew more concerned when they noticed the blood on the doorpost and on the floor.
It wasn’t until that moment that Sunset’s time synced up, as realization sunk in.
“What just happened?” Ditzy asked Sunset.
“I’m not… I’m not sure?” Sunset replied, knowing what had just happened.
Ditzy looked at the door. ”Won’t you chase after your friends?”
I’m not sure, Sunset thought, honestly.
She sighed and closed her eyes. She turned back to the blackboard and levitated her quill to write down the notes on the history of Equestrian Magic.
All around her she heard notes being taken, a soothing sound. While the teacher was out, a serenity of everyone simply focussing on the material at hand would fill the room. When Sunset looked back up, she noticed someone standing by the left end of the board, near the windows.
Behind the silhouette shone a pearly white. Sunset squinted to see who they might be. Her eyes adjusted to the light and the figures moved to behind the teacher’s desk.
Before her stood a purple mare, standing beside their beloved eternal mentor. Sunset knew exactly why she was there and what they were going to ask. She desperately looked around her to see who else might be asked. In the far back row sat her friends, asking her the same question in silence.
“Will you chase after your friends?” Twilight spoke.
“They’re not-!” Sunset started. She turned around once more to see them. One by one she looked at them. Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and finally, Applejack, the only one to look away in shame.
She remembered the things she’d told them. The pain that made her conjure up those words she’d never wanted to speak, especially not to them. The hurt that forced those wretched thoughts of abandonment. Her friends having abandoned her was something she knew she could ultimately deal with. What struck her – the wickedness that had mangled her soul – was that she had abandoned them too.
Out of the 6 of them, she wondered if she’d hurt herself the most. If she’d hurt her friends. If anyone deserved any of it.
Up there, in the back rows, she saw her friends still. Unmoving, unfeeling, waiting. Her gaze passed by them one by one. In her mind, there stood the plea: “does she deserve this?” every time she looked at them.
Sunset turned back to Twilight. She too was awaiting an answer, but not for herself.
Finally, there was Celestia. Sunset knew well of the stories of how Celestia related to the elements for the past centuries. For a thousand years she must have carried these questions and regrets, never knowing if she’d made the right decision. Perhaps not even grasping the full extent of it. What had she decided?
Against everything for which she and her sister stood, they had turned. Then.
Then.
“Luna never stopped being my sister, Sunset” Celestia spoke. “But I had to make a choice.”
“You cannot change the past” Twilight said. “But you can change the future.”
Sunset put her elbows on the desk and her hands on her temples. Resting her head between them. Trying to take it all in. In the dim ambient light she saw her tarnished body. Filth that did not wash off, cuts and bruises that did not heal. Memories of Every. Damned. Time. She had wished her friends had been there for her. Times when people doubted her. Times when she’d need support going to the nurse. Times when she’d sit alone in her room crying for hours, wondering why this was happening.
The light in the room faded. The back row grew empty, one by one. A dying glimmer at the desk cast the room in total darkness, and a dreadful thought invaded her mind.
They’ve betrayed me a thousand times.
A grim heart beat within her. A power tempting her foolhardily. It was not power that could restore harmony. Sunset quelled it with a simple no, yet shivered at the thought of it just lurking at the threshold like that.
Sunset looked back up from between her cuts and bruises. Before her was a whiteboard. Obtuse had returned. She had pen and paper, and was ready to go.
***
Math class had not been eventful after that dire start. Once it was over and lunch time had arrived, Sunset and her friends went to check on Fluttershy in the infirmary.
The nurse had wrapped Fluttershy’s hand in bandages. Things seemed to be okay beyond that, much to everyone’s relief. It had also been the first time Sunset had seen Pinkie Pie to be this tender. With a lot of care, she gently held Fluttershy’s delicate injured hands and nuzzled them.
Sunset had noticed the stormy weather of this morning had made a turn for the better. The sun was out in full and she thought it a nice idea to have lunch outdoors while it lasted. She’d apologized to Fluttershy, who’d told Sunset it wasn’t her fault despite Sunset’s protests that it was. Not conceding, Sunset reluctantly let it go for the time being.
While her friends were out looking for a table in the school courtyard, Sunset went and grabbed a hat from her locker. When she spotted her friends at their table, the cutiemark crusaders had beat her to them. Fortunately, just as she approached, they waved goodbye and escaped. Well, they left.
“What was that?” Sunset asked, trying to squash any hints of her annoyance.
“Just Sweetie Belle and her friends,” Rarity answered. She raised an eyebrow out of concern. “Is everything alright, Sunset?”
“I guess?” She said. “I’m just, I don’t know why but those three have been getting under my skin to no end today.”
Rarity chuckled and twirled her hair, looking to her left. “Ah hah… Well, yes, I can definitely speak from experience there.”
“Not like that” Sunset grunted “I just don’t know what it is about them, and I’m sorry for what I’m about to say but, I feel like something bad is going to happen between all of us because of them.”
The group was taken aback at first, hearing an accusation like that levied at their friends and family. Then, just like Rarity had just conceded, they started to ponder the possibility of making some big mistake rather than doing something evil or intentional.
“Ah can’t really speak regardin’ Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo, but Ah can assure you that Applebloom is bein’ raised a sensible little girl” Applejack said. “Sure she maght make mistakes and git into trouble, but we always make her own them.” Sternly, Applejack followed up her explanation. “Applebloom is very responsible. In hindsight.”
Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked at one another.
“I’ll keep an eye out on Scootaloo” Dash said. “Those three have gotten into serious trouble before. I wouldn’t put it past them to make a mistake big enough to suck us all in with them.”
“Oh come now Rainbow Dash” Rarity said, turning to Sunset. “It’s nothing we can’t handle together.” She smiled at Sunset, who smiled back, her doubts dashed. “Now come Sunset, darling, you’re not going to stand around like that all day are you?”
The warmth of her friends’ company quickly washed away the miserable taint those kids had etched in her spirit. Though, the sun helped as much as anything, as did the much needed breath of fresh air.
“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it” Pinkie Pie said. “They’d have to do something pretty wild to outmatch the things we’ve faced.” Her friends nodded in agreement. “Besides, us hanging out has never even been a problem. They’d just do their own things without us.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.
“Well, without you guys” Pinkie amended, pointing at the girls’ sisters.
Sunset sat quietly for a moment, thinking. They had gone through much and they have become close friends. Something she’d never considered before, back when she was her old self. One thought lead to another before something stuck that really piqued her mind.
“I don’t know if I’ve told you guys this” she collectedly began. Her friends turned to face her, listening intently. “But soon after I was un-she-daemoned, I felt like I was going through a paradox. Two things would go through my mind back and forth.”
Everyone paused, so Sunset continued.
“On the one hand, I felt really weak. I was really weak” she said, holding up her left hand. “I felt weak because I had come to a new place as a stranger. I was really new to a lot of this friendship thing and still had to learn to trust others. Even you guys. It wasn’t easy to surrender myself.”
“Surrender?” Rainbow Dash said, voice full of surprise. “You put up a fight to the point that Twilight would sacrifice her return home just to defeat you!”
“Pay attention would ya?” Applejack scolded, “She’s talkin’ ‘bout after that.” Applejack looked to Sunset to confirm.
“Yes” she put simply. She sighed. “I had just been defeated by my worst enemies, who I often couldn’t help but think of thinking the same way I did.” Sunset sunk away a bit, as if she’d just admitted to having taken the last cookie from the jar. “Things like What will they do to me now? And How will they punish me? How harsh?”
“But that wasn’t the hardest part. That was all still bits of my old self echoing those nasty thoughts. I felt weak because I was new to all of this. I felt vulnerable. Everyone was out to get me.”
Sunset put her hands on her chest, clenching the fabric by her heart. With a knot in her throat, she continued.
“It was difficult to surrender myself to you, having to trust you guys to help and support me. I felt like I was entrusting you with my life. And in a way, I was. You had rid me of my old self, but it would take a lot of work to make something new of myself. It wasn’t just me as I was then: it also was the me who I would become. Never had I done something so … daunting.”
Sunset looked up at her friends, passing them by one by one to see if they understood what she meant. Rarity and Fluttershy had trouble not spilling any tears. AJ listened stoically. Rainbow Dash was the only one to look at her a bit sheepishly. Sunset kept her eyes on her just to be clear.
“Rainbow Dash” she said. “Can you imagine not ever having thought of becoming a wonderbolt, only for one day some people coming up to you asking you to trust them that they’ll make you into a wonderbolt?”
Contrary to Sunset’s expectations, Dash did not immediately respond but stopped to think instead. Sunset continued for the rest.
“Like I was saying, I had to entrust you all with my future. With what is now my life. That was the first part of the paradox, that I felt so weak and that despite being vulnerable, I had to surrender, give away in a sense, my life. To trust that we could make things better.”
“What was the second pahrt of the par‘dox, Sunset?” AJ asked.
Sunset turned her attention to Applejack. “The second part is that I felt really strong as well,” she said. “I felt strong because of what we had just defeated. Whenever I had a bit of relief or felt elated, I felt I could overcome anything. Nothing was beyond my grasp.” She smiled “With you all by my side, anything is possible.”
Her clenching hands relaxed and instead, they now gently covered her heart. She closed her eyes and slightly bowed her head.
“When I think back to the times with you I cherish, I realize there are more than I can think of.” Sunset looked up to the sky, taking in the cool blue and endless openness. The light around her. Her smiling friends.
“Whenever I’m in doubt, or whenever I’m feeling down, all I need is remember that together, things will always be alright.”
You have saved me a thousand times over.
Breaths, like waves on the shore, gently flowed in and out of her and instilled the joy she felt. Unnoticed undercurrents washed away the last vestiges of chaos.
It had been there this whole time, and a breathless silence gave way to the background noise of a school courtyard. Sunset regained her focus, aware she was still among her friends who were happily chatting away.
Out of all her friends, she found, only Pinkie Pie held her hand up to her face, blocking the sun. Besides Pinkie and herself, the rest sat in the shade of the school building. Next to Pinkie Pie sat Fluttershy, to whom Sunset still felt the need to apologize for earlier.
She glanced at Fluttershy’s bandaged hands. Given what had happened earlier, it was quite the relief this was all the care she’d needed.
“Pinkie Pie?” Sunset asked. “We can change places if you want.” She pointed at Pinkie’s hand. “Might be easier to eat with both hands, even for you.” She winked.
“Oh yeah!” Pinkie Pie said, getting up immediately. “I didn’t even notice!”
The girls got up and swapped places. Sunset sat down next to Fluttershy, who cautiously drew her injured hand closer. Sunset looked at her apologetically, though Fluttershy didn’t look back.
Pinkie Pie just let herself drop on her new spot quite brashly, immediately digging into her lunch.
“I’m really sorry about earlier.” Sunset said. “Are you okay?”
Fluttershy nodded. “It was my own fault to be honest. I should’ve just gotten it a bit quicker, that’s all.”
Sunset shook her head “I shouldn’t have left my bag in the hallway to begin with” she said. “Or I should’ve at least gotten it myself.” She put forth her hand, asking for Fluttershy to put hers in Sunset’s. Fluttershy declined.
“At least let me help you eat,” Sunset pleaded.
“Sunset?” Fluttershy had a look in her eyes as though she could stop a rampaging bear. “I don’t need your kindness.”
Sunset blinked, not sure of what she thought she’d seen. She looked again at her friend. Her kind and gentle friend, sitting there smiling back, though still injured. Must have been her imagination. To be on the safe side, she didn’t insist on the matter any further. Instead, she simply smiled back and turned her attention to the group.
The rest were engaged in a discussion about what should be as mundane as anything: the weather, of all things. The last thing Sunset caught was that Rarity had said the rain and humidity were terrible for her hair, as was the sun for her skin and the wind for both her hair and her gear.
“Sounds like you like indoor weather Rarity,” Applejack said. “Ahm sorreh but we need both sun and rain for the crops to grow.” She threw a mock glare at the dynamic duo. “Tho y’all can keep yer wind.”
“We’ll keep it!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.
“I’m glad you see my point darling,” Rarity said. “Surprising, given you’re not particularly.... Well, following the latest fashion trends.”
“Ah’m not agreein’ cuz o’ dat.” AJ said, slightly irritated. “Last storm took down plenty o’ shingles ‘n some of the bigger trees had gotten uprooted.”
“You two can keep your sun and rain, I’ll take the breeze any day” Dash said. “‘s long as it’s not too strong. I wanna keep it goldilocks chill.”
She got some funny looks.
“You know? When it hits that sweet spot? Cool enough to play sports, sunny enough to see and breezy enough to put in effort?” There was zero connection with her friends here.
“Ya seem more picky than even Rarity” Applejack said. “‘Cept yer picks are outside. And to get messy.”
Silently, though frowning in mock anger. With a nod, both Rarity and Rainbow Dash conceded Applejacks point.
Pinkie Pie put her hands on the table and stood up, leaning forward. “You’re all wrong!” She said excitedly. “This is the best weather!” She pointed up to a bunch of clouds floating by in a rush. In the humidity in the atmosphere, they scattered the sunlight into beams of light and pillars of shade. Down on the ground, not a hair was blown out of place.
Sunset looked at her friends, who looked with her among themselves, all quite puzzled save for Pinkie. “What’s so special about today?” Sunset asked. “It’s just passing rain.”
Pinkie Pie relaxed and was positively in bliss. “It’s the kind of weather were we all get to hang out and just have fun like this! It’s the best!” She said.
She got no argument there. She got a bit of a bounce as her happy excitement built up.
“Plus there’s the smell after the rain. I really really like that smell. Oh! And there’s all the puddles to skip!”
Pinkie Pie stopped smiling and instead burst into an honest bout of laughter. Sunset looked at her friend with a slight awe of sorts, imagining that laughter like that can only come from someplace special. A laugher akin to that of a two year old, not yet capable of containing themselves. It’s a laugh she could only hope to one day enjoy herself. Right now, watching Pinkie was enough.
That was one moment. The next one was something she’d not ever want to witness.
The floor was stained with specks of blood. Nearby was a baseball and some broken knocked out teeth. At the centre of it all lay an unconscious Pinkie Pie, tears still streaming down her face from laughing. There was blood trickling from her mouth.
“Pinkie!” Everyone shouted.
Immediately, they all rushed to their friend’s side, trying to wake her up.
Fluttershy let Pinkie rest on her side, ensuring she’d be able to breathe. She was by no means an expert but she did as much as she could.
“Pinkie! Can ya hear us?!” Applejack said. She looked to Fluttershy, who was focussed on whatever first aid she recalled. Dash had already sat with AJ, only to leave in a rush the very next instant.
“Rarity! Could you please find something more appropriate to do than tending to yer phone?!” Applejack shouted incredulously.
Rarity remained calm as the phone sounded the dialling noise.
“Hello. You’ve reached the emergency hotline. Press 1 in case of an immediate life threatening situation.” Rarity looked up at AJ, who sighed in relief and turned her attention back to Pinkie.
Rarity went through the emergency services menu to get a human operator.
Sunset came and sat down across from Fluttershy, using her hat to wave some cool air at the still not conscious Pinkie Pie.
Things went quiet safe for Rarity’s call moving forward. Everyone listened intently.
“Hello, you’ve reached the medical emergency services, what is the nature of your emergency please?”
“Yes, hello. Our friend has gone unconscious after getting hit by a stray baseball.” Rarity spoke, meanwhile suggesting to hand the phone to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy nodded and got Rarity’s phone.
“Okay, thank you. Where did your friend get hit exactly?” the operator asked.
“Hi, I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy said. “Our friend got hit in the face and has lost a few teeth and has broken a few others. She’s bleeding, though not badly, from the mouth and may have bone injuries in her jaw.”
Applejack cringed.
“Her lower lip is also torn, which is bleeding fairly heavily.” Fluttershy continued.
“In case you’ve not laid your friend on their side, please put your friend on their side so they can breathe more easily,” said the operator.
“She’s resting on her side. We’ve got a napkin to help relieve the bleeding from her lip.”
“Okay, that’s good Ms Fluttershy. Has your friend shown any signs of regaining consciousness?”
Fluttershy looked at Sunset, who just shook her head in response. “She’s still out cold.”
“Okay, please hold her as you have her right now. I’ll dispatch an ambulance.”
Applejack muttered something about it taking quite a while to get to that point.
“Where may I send them, Ms Shy?” the operator asked.
“We’re at Canterlot High in the school courtyard, though we’ll probably be in the infirmary when the paramedics get here.”
“I’ve sent them on their way. Please remain on the line and keep your friend steady for the time being. Can you check your friend’s pupils for me please?”
Fluttershy looked at Sunset, who opened Pinkie’s eyes so Fluttershy could see.
“Her eyes are a little dilated, though they are contracting.” Fluttershy took a closer look. “Actually, only one is contracting.”
“Thank you Ms Shy. Can you please pinch her right ear lobe? It needs to send a pain signal.”
Fluttershy looked again to Sunset for cooperation, who wasn’t too keen on inflicting further pain on poor Pinkie Pie. Her eyes started to water recalling just how happy she was no thirty seconds ago.
She reluctantly pinched her right earlobe. Pinkie Pie flinched her head, though only slightly. Fluttershy reported the response.
“Thank you Ms Shy. How is her heart rate and breathing?”
Sunset put her fingers on Pinkie Pie’s neck and nodded to Fluttershy.
“They’re both fine,” Fluttershy said.
“Her heart rate is a little elevated,” Sunset followed up.
“Will she be okay?” Applejack asked quietly. Rarity raised a finger in front of her lips, shushing AJ.
“It’s hard to say, miss. Your friend is badly injured and probably has a concussion. I recommend you carefully move her to the infirmary. Until the paramedics arrive, please keep checking her eyes and pinch her every few minutes. Report anything out of place to the paramedics and answer all of their questions as truthfully as possible. Don’t say what you think might be wrong, simply state what you have actually observed. They should be with you in a few minutes.”
There was an exchange of worried looks.
“Is there anything else we can do to help her?” Sunset asked, wiping away a tear.
“Ensure her breathing and heart rate remain regular. Clean any wounds you can. Have some water ready for her to drink if her injuries let her. Be prepared that she might be confused, disoriented and suffers a loss of recent memories. Provide some pen and paper. Find out if she’s allergic to anything. If possible, ready some ice. If she wakes up, don’t let her walk on her own. Have a pail or bag ready in case she gets sick.”
Sunset tried to take it all in, though the list was getting fairly long. Applejack was making an actual list of messy jotted notes.
”That should suffice until help arrives,“ the operator concluded. ”She will then be taken to the hospital for x-rays among other things.”
Fluttershy handed the phone back to Rarity, who had been patiently waiting to get it returned to her.
“Thank you for your services.” Rarity said to the operator.
“It’s what we do,” the operator said proudly. “Good luck with your friend.”
Rarity hung up on the phone call. The group breathed as though they had been holding it in this entire time. Just then, Rainbow Dash came back, running ahead of Obtuse and the nurse.
“Well? How is she?” She asked between breaths.
“We just called emergency services and well, we’re not entirely sure,” Rarity said. “She… She probably has a concussion.” She turned to Pinkie Pie, who was starting to show more bruising.
“Can we move her?” Obtuse asked.
A drop of rain fell on Pinkie Pie’s forehead.
“We can,“ AJ said. ”But carefully. Let’s move.”
Fluttershy, Rarity and Sunset backed away to let Applejack and Rainbow Dash lift Pinkie Pie into Obtuse’s arms. The nurse overlooked the ordeal, making sure Pinkie was positioned correctly among other things. She took a look at Pinkie’s eye. Sunset noticed they weren’t responding.
Rainbow Dash lead the way, followed by the adults and AJ, and tailed by Rarity and Fluttershy. Sunset, distressingly, was unable to move quickly enough to follow. One foot in front of the other. She tried upping her pace but it felt as if she were at the bottom of a pool. Her friends had all but closed the school door behind them.
From where she was, she heard it click shut. The courtyard was devoid of all students but her. She felt dripping on her arms and head. The overcast had darkened, and the rain had returned. In the greys she stood uncertain. The lukewarm water was starting to stain her clothes.
“Won’t you chase after them?” she heard from behind her.
She heard a tapping on an umbrella. She turned around and found Ditzy offering her shelter. Sunset stepped closer to Ditzy and out of the rain.
Sunset sighed, wanting to say she really wanted to. She did want to follow them. She had tried to. She looked up to Ditzy, who was still waiting for an answer.
“I… I’m not even sure if I should.” She finally said.
Ditzy gasped and recoiled. “But why?” She asked. “They’re your friends!”
“That might be precisely why,” Sunset said. “It’s my fault she got hit in the first place.”
“It was a fluke, wasn’t it?” Ditzy said.
Sunset shook her head. “I never should’ve traded places with her.” She frowned. “I should’ve just let go of apologizing to Fluttershy when she told me to.” Sunset crossed her arms and looked down. “We should’ve just had lunch indoors.” She turned away from Ditzy, stepping half away from under the umbrella. “I should’ve just stayed home. Stayed in bed.”
She felt the rain hit her on her head again. She heard it all around her. The static noise of it hitting the ground and furniture, the draining through the gutters. The overcast thickened still, drowning out ever more of the ambient light.
Sunset held up her hands, which quickly filled up with water. She walked towards the bicycle shed, only to find it locked. Above the door was a caged light, buzzing angrily at the high humidity, flickering in protest. Her frustration built up. She turned around and leaned against the door after letting herself fall back against it.
What she’d expected to see was gone. Across from her, all around her, was nothing but a dense black smoke, eerily floating above giant puddles and pools yards across. The light above her flickered ever more discordantly, still buzzing.
Before her was a teal glimmer in the void. Blinking. A red glow manifested, outlining a sinister and very familiar shape. A wicked laughter rattled her soul.
A fire rose within her. Tears ran down her face. The blood rushed through her body, anxious for a fight.
“Leave me alone!” Sunset yelled, lashing out.
“You can’t fight me, Sunset,” the voice taunted. “Look around. You’re all alone,” she taunted.
“I will fight you!” Sunset knew. There was a tremor in her voice that betrayed her faux confidence.
She ran towards the crimson cloud, which dispersed like a fine mist. Quickly she turned around and lashed out again.
”I don’t need my friends to defeat you!” Sunset grit her teeth. “I am all I need!”
The darkness grew bolder, closer. The seconds between the blinks of the light above her seemed to last longer and longer. Sunset rushed back towards the light, back pinned against the wall. The ominous aura was taking shape.
A loud cackling echoed all around her. A swarm of cat sized beasts fluttered around her frantically, letting out the horrible laughter. They pooled together in the water and from the bottom emerged the she-beast she once was. Her heart stood still.
“Oh really?” said the fiery daemon. “Sounds like I’ve already won then!” She reached out and held the frightened Sunset’s chin. “You are right of course.”
Her former self let go. The demon pushed the wall behind Sunset, toppling it over. Sunset’s eyes were wide, her pupils but pinpricks, as her enemy was now free to pace around her.
“You’ve never needed friends,” she said. “After what they’ve done to you, were they ever friends at all?”
She stepped closer and swung her hand at Sunset, slow enough for her to catch it. Foolishly, Sunset took the bait. The demon lifted her hand and with the other, reached in and in one rip, tore off every bit of clothing from Sunset’s upper body.
Instantly, Sunset let go and jumped back, tripping over backwards. She sat leaning back on her submerged hands, her belly and chest exposed.
“Well well, what do we have here?” Her demon taunted. “That must’ve hurt.” She pointed at Sunset’s scars.
“It didn’t!” Sunset growled through grit teeth. “I stood up for my friends, and I’d do it again a thousand times over!” She barked. Sunset quickly sat on her haunches and covered herself with her hands and arms.
“Oh I don’t mean that.” On her face appeared a wicked grin. “You know I don’t mean that.”
Sunset tried to look back in anger, but she knew exactly what the demon meant. Brows furrowed, jaws clenched shut, and tears in her eyes, there was no holding it back.
“All those times. All those damned times you cried out for them.”
Sunset’s lip quivered. Her breaths strained and turned to soundless screams. She held her hands tightly to her chest, and knelt over.
“They weren’t there when you needed them most. They abandoned you.” The demon stomped her foot as her voice grew loud and angry. “They betrayed you!” She yelled. “You almost died!”
Sunset knelt forward, palms flat on the floor. Amidst the crushing weight of her past sins, the tearing pain of her friends betrayal and the hopelessness of lacking any power to change these things, she lay bare.
Before the beast she now lay in a foetal position, her arms under her head. Waves washing against her shoulders, hips and belly button.
“Leave me alone,” Sunset whimpered. “Please let me be alone,” she hiccupped.
For a moment, there was only the sound of her sadness.
The she beast sighed. “Here lies the heroine, who had sacrificed everything to save her friends’ sisters and their friendship. Hopeless and abandoned.”
Sunset could only plead for her to be alone. A plea cast to the void.
“What a waste. You were right. You don’t need friends,” The demon said.
The demon stepped where the two could exchange looks. Even the she-beast pitied her.
“I know I’ve put you through a lot,” she said gleefully, only briefly interrupting her disdain. ”But I’d never reduce you to this.” She held open her arms towards Sunset as if presenting her. ”You don’t deserve this.”
The beast put her foot on Sunset’s hip, nudging her. “What hurts you most right now, isn’t your friends or what they’ve done.” She rocked her foot back and forth. “You already know. Twilight told you so.”
All that was in Sunset’s mind was chaos. Bits and pieces of conflicting thoughts and feelings. A hot swirling mass of loving those who have hurt you the most. Something she could not hope to comprehend.
Her past self lifted her foot off of Sunset and stepped away. “There is only one way out.”
Sunset’s deep love for her friends was the unmovable bedrock. And it hurt. They had saved her and embraced her at her worst. These were the only things she was certain of, however much she would doubt everything else. It was an inextinguishable spark.
“For…. You….,” Sunset sputtered. “We won’t... ever... be the same again.”
“Neither will your friends,” the beast knelt down by Sunset. “And neither will you. You will come to me, Sunset. You will embrace me, just like you are now.” She got back up.
She looked down at her new self, writhing on the floor. “You don’t have a choice. I am your true self.”
With what little strength she had, Sunset bolded her fist.
The demon twirled on the spot and turned her back on Sunset. As she was moving away, Sunset had found only the strength to kneel.
“Doubt. Doubt yourself. Doubt your friends,” the beast continued. “Fear what they might do to you. Fear what might happen next. You’ve already hurt two of them, be sure to mind the rest.”
She moved back towards the darkness. “You will come around again, Sunset. The worst is yet to come. You will dread and seek out strength, doubt and look for certainty.”
She stood there at the edge of the void, squarely facing away. Suddenly, her head shook rapidly, her neck slowly bending over backwards with a crack and a snapping sound. Shrunken pupils sat within the pitch black of her eyes.
With a feral growl and a scraping like nails on a chalkboard, her voice came back to break silence. “That’s where you will find me. That’s where I will come for you!”
With a clap of thunder and in a puff of smoke, the beast had vanished.
The rain had stopped. The overcast was back and the ambient light turned fairly bright again. Sunset got up, hunching over, holding her hands on her sick and aching belly. Her legs were shaking.
In the distance, the clouds parted in places, being pierced by a heavenly light. From across the schoolyard, like a spotlight, one was moving as though it was searching for Sunset.
“Celestia,” Sunset whispered. Her legs gave way and she splashed back into the water, landing on her knees. “I don’t deserve this.” She cried.
“Celestia... ”
She heard the weakness in her own voice. She was all that was, and for her lonesome self she felt both pity and contempt. Asking for salvation she would not even grant to herself.
She closed her eyes and faced the ground. Her wet hair stuck to her naked body. Limply, her palms laid open on her knees.
“I don’t deserve this,” she cried again. “But please … Save me!”
The clouds kept rolling about. Longingly, Sunset ached to feel the warmth of the light. None came. Sunset looked about, to see if any of them drew closer, only to find them fade away and die out. The last beam thinned down and sharpened to within the breadth of a needle, and vanished, never having graced her. Her last beacon of hope was gone.
What followed was a long and unearthly wail that can only come from a pain of depths unknown. A manifestation wrenched her gut and tore at her heart. She could feel a black bile bubbling in her body.
After a deep breath, she begged to let it all out in the only way she could. Reaching out to any higher powers that could free her from her burden. “Pleeeasseeee…,” she screamed. “Ple-hee-hee-haasssee…,” she cried. She clenched her teeth and silently whimpered.
“Please.” she begged. But there was no light at the end of this tunnel. No salvation. No bottom to this pit.
She recalled Twilight’s words. Never could she have imagined how right she would be, nor how much she would wish her to be wrong. It hurts because you love them.
“Applejack… Pinkie Pie,” her voice had become grating and course. Her throat ached. “Rarity...” She held up her empty powerless hands. “Please… please come back to me!”
“Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy! Pleaaaase!!” Every call got interrupted by a deep breath, and sobbing. “Please. Celestia pleaasse bring them back to me!”
There was a beat in her heart, a single one striking harder than the others. A painful beat. The beat of a body urging for calm. Of a heart about to burst. Thus she quieted down.
Sunset’s dire fit had passed. Her breathing had returned to normal. She lay quietly in the lukewarm water completely without thought or desire. The pain hadn’t subsided. She simply had no choice but to be as she was.
Her throat stung from all the yelling and crying. Her knees and palms hurt having landed on them a bit harder than she could handle. Her heartbeat had been steady and blue.
She closed her eyes, feeling that this awful pain was here to stay.
“Mommy...,,” she finally sighed.
The thought of her caring mother soothed her. For the moment, she could forget her pain and focus on the warmth flowing about her. Her whole world became so much brighter. She rolled onto her back.
“Sunset,” echoed a voice from above. “My wonderful little girl.”
Sunset opened her eyes and saw the clouds gently drifting by, thinning out. “Mother...” she said in recognition.
“You are not alone,” the voice echoed. “And you never will be.”
The clouds parted above her. Sunshine enveloped her.
“You can overcome this. I have faith in you. You are strong.”
She squinted her eyes against the light and finally closed them. A warmth touched upon her skin, lingering where she had been hurt so much. Her blemishes exposed to the sun.
“Don’t let go of who you are. Never let go of who I love most of all.”
Sunset lifted her arms up, as if to embrace the ethereal calling out to her. Between her closing arms she felt substance. The same she felt coiling around her back. She sighed.
“Mother...”
***
Lunch break had come to an end and classes were resuming. Next up was chemistry, something for which Sunset had quite the natural gift. The way she figured, it all mapped really well to magic in Equestria. Atomic numbers, the number of bonds elements could form, attraction and repulsion, all struck familiar chords. How many circles go in a particular transformation spell, which arcs arcana must flow through to accomplish some feat like levitation or teleportation, and so on. To her earthly friends, not so much, though of course to varying degrees.
The door to the classroom opened and Sunset and her friends entered, sans Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, along with the other students. All the desks had been prepared with various bits of equipment. A Bunsen burner, a few vials with different chemicals, a petri dish, something that looked like a straightened out paperclip with a small loop at the end, a beaker and finally, quite the bottle of some transparent liquid.
This sort of classroom setup had a magical way of telling the interested students from those lacking. Eager to get started, Sunset moved a bit faster than usual, as did Rainbow Dash. Rarity sighed at the prospect of the messy lesson, and AJ at her friends’ exaggerated responses.
Rainbow Dash beat Sunset to sitting down, waiting for her country girl lab partner to catch up to her. Sunset smiled an inviting smile to Rarity, who came to sit with her.
“What ahr you so excited ‘bout RD?” asked Applejack. “Ah thought ya didn’t lahk nerdy classes.”
Dash tried to back down or hide away a bit of her antsiness, without much success. “Pffh, yeah no I don’t,” she waved off the misapprehension. “But it does have its moments.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“Uhm, hello?” Dash exclaimed, holding the Bunsen burner, tapping it. “Obviously the parts where we get to see some action!”
Sunset and Rarity looked at AJ from behind Rainbow Dash and snickered at the little back and forth. AJ noticed.
“Ah wouldn’t be surprised if ya liked chemistry more than even Sunset.” AJ said.
Dash quickly turned around to see a surprised Sunset, both blushing a little, for different reasons.
“Yeah right!” Dash said. “No offence Sunset, but I’m not that nerdy. I just like it when we get to use the Bunsen.”
“None taken,” Sunset chuckled. “I’m not jockey enough to be that much into sports either,” she said, as a way of reflecting Dash’s remark. “No offence.”
“Yer too tall to be a jockey tho,” AJ interrupted.
“Ha!” Dash laughed and pointed.
Sunset looked to Rarity, who was amused, though not laughing.
“I’ll explain later, darling,” she said. “I’d be surprised if you had jockeys where you’re from, after all.”
Sunset looked among her friends for any clues as to what a jockey might be, though for the life of her she couldn’t think of any explanation.
Rarity suddenly gigglesnorted in a very un-ladylike fashion.
“You better explain after class!” Sunset said in mock anger.
“I’m sorry dear,” Rarity started. “I just imagined what jockeys in Equestria would be like. Oh Celestia I have to shake this thought before I burst out laughing!”
Right then, Ms Erlenmeyer entered the classroom and shushed the crowd. “Alright class! I know you’re all excited to get started, so let me explain what we will be doing today.”
Everyone piped down and paid attention.
“In front of you, you have a set of various tools and chemicals you’re all already familiar with.”
The students looked at the vials before them. Most of them were metal powders or solutions of salts. The only labels on the vials were plain numbers.
“Except for one item,” the teacher continued. “Which is the wire you all have in front of you.”
“Oooh,” Rarity said with intrigue.
“We’ll be using this wire to test the chemicals in the vials using the flame test and identify what chemical is in which vial,” miss Erlenmeyer said. “Please use the tool carefully, as it is a surprisingly expensive piece of equipment.”
“Would surprise me,” Dash said quietly, inspecting the wire. She raised her hand.
“Yes, Rainbow Dash?” said miss Erlenmeyer.
“What’s so special about a straightened out paper clip?” Dash asked incredulously. “I’ve had plenty of these.”
“Ya mean ya made plenty of these,” Applejack said with a wink.
“Shut up,” Dash said, nudging Applejack.
“Well,” the teacher started, “to ensure the purity of the test, we need a precious metal with a fairly high melting point. Can you guess which element that wire is?”
Miss Erlenmeyer never wasted an opportunity for her students to learn.
“It’s platinum!” Rarity exclaimed. Everyone turned to her. Rarity sunk into her seat a little and adjusted her volume to “indoor” before she spoke again. “It’s platinum, isn’t it?”
“Very good Rarity,” miss Erlenmeyer confirmed. She turned to the rest of the class. “So please handle it with care.”
There was a sense of awe in the murmuring that followed, as a lot of the students hadn’t expected to hold this much platinum today. The teacher continued her explanation.
“You have a sheet in front of you with instructions and what colours match which chemicals. Before you start, please be aware of the risks in this experiment.”
Miss Erlenmeyer walked behind her desk and went over her own set of equipment, demonstrating the setup.
“First, we’ll be using the invisible flame on the Bunsen burner,” she said. “It’s both hard to see and incredibly hot. It’s also fairly tall and not just the little bit that you can see.”
“Second,” she continued. “The big jug contains hydrochloric acid.”
Some of the students shuffled a bit nervously. They looked around to see if any jars were near their backs rather than just the ones in front of them.
“Of course, it’s been diluted. However, it is also still dangerous,” the teacher warned. She unscrewed the plug of the jug and poured a small amount of the acid in the beaker. “Carefully pour some of the acid into the beaker.” She put the jar back down and screwed on the plug. “Always put the plug back on and secure it tight.”
“If you get some of the acid on you, rinse it off immediately in the small sink at your desk.” The teacher pointed at the shower in the corner. “If you’ve been exposed to more or don’t know exactly where you’ve been exposed, please use the emergency shower in the corner.”
“Rinsing will be enough to get rid of it,” she said. “It’s not like in the movies where things are dissolved in seconds.” A sigh of relief resounded in the classroom. “However, you will get burns if you’re not careful. So act safe, calm and quickly.”
“Third, part of the experiment is finding out which chemicals are in the vials.” She waved her hand across the various numbered vials on her desk. “Keep that in mind, as you’ll thus be working with unknown substances. If you get any on you, rinse it off. They’re all a lot safer than the acid.”
“Now that the setup is all complete, let me demonstrate the routine once so you may start with your lab partner.”
She looked around the classroom and was happy to find everyone was paying close attention.
“First, you clean the platinum wire in the beaker. The acid will make it clean again.” She explained.
“Next, you place some of the substance on the petri dish.” She put some of the powder into the dish. ”Then you use the wire to scoop some from the dish.” She almost did just that. “BUT!” she shouted, intercepting her own mistake, “don’t put it in wet.” She put the wire in the flame, drying it instantly. ”Now that the wire is dry, you may scoop some of the powder.” She carefully put some powder on the wire and moved it closer to the flame. Some students were sitting on the edge of their seats. “And then...”
The wire entered the flame. A cacophony of Oohs and Aahs resounded as the flame itself turned a bright and intense violet. There was excited whispering. The word “fireworks” suddenly became quite popular.
“Ahem, can I have your attention please?” The teacher continued. “There are two more steps after this.”
Though the room hadn’t gone silent, most everyone was still with her.
“Your lab partner will write down the colour of the flame and the number of the vial from which you got the substance,” miss Erlenmeyer said. “After that, you may move on to the next vial. Deduce from your findings which substance is in which vial using the chart you’ve been provided.” She clapped her hands together once, her signal that the experiment could begin. ”Good luck.”
All around the room, paired up students nodded and decided on roles. So too did Rarity and Sunset, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
“Lemme guess?” AJ said sarcastically to Rainbow Dash, who was completely hogging the platinum wire. “Ah’ll be taking notes?” Rainbow Dash nodded excitedly, happy to see Applejack was such a good and understanding friend. And that she got to make some fireworks. Maybe just because she got to make some fireworks.
“How ‘bout a wager then?” Applejack continued. “If y’all can guess what you just put in the flame, you get ‘nother turn. But if yer wrong, Ah get ta do the next one.”
“You’re on!” Dash said enthusiastically, though not without some immediate doubt, since she had no idea how good of an opponent she was facing. She did not want to recall their most recent grades, that’s for sure.
Meanwhile, Rarity and Sunset also had a clear arrangement. Rarity was not one to handle hazardous materials, whereas Sunset definitely liked the hands on approach. All that was settled with a simple nod.
“Can we move the Bunsen burner between us?” Sunset asked, already having moved the other equipment to her side. “We’ll both get a closer look.”
“Of course,” Rarity said.
Sunset detached the gas tube going to the burner from her side of the desk and let Rarity connect it to a gas outlet on her side.
“I don’t much care for chemistry save for the rare occasion,” Rarity said.
“Is this...” Sunset said, uncertain as to why Rarity stopped mid-sentence. “Is this one such occasion?”
Rarity nodded.
“Is it because of the platinum?” Sunset asked.
Rarity nodded again. “Plus, that violet flame was positively stunning. I never thought I’d say this but,” she continued. ”I’m actually curious what colours we’ll get to make.” Rarity smiled with a contained excitement.
“Are you sure you only want to take notes?” Sunset asked. “I’m okay with taking turns.”
“As much as I love handling platinum in almost any capacity, I don’t trust those powders and liquids anywhere near my clothes or skin,” she said with her arms crossed. “Plus I imagine you’d enjoy it a lot more than I would in any case. I’ll be happy to put my handwriting to good use for us.”
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had a brilliant red flame before her.
“Wow! Is that the coolest thing ever or what?” She said a little louder than a teacher might’ve appreciated. She looked at the periodic table of elements wallpaper behind Applejack, but without much luck. ”Any idea what it was?”
“Ah think it was lithium, but Ah can’t say for sure,” Applejack said. “There’s a listed crimson red and a brick red.” She looked at Dash a bit befuddled. “Ah guess we’ll have to find the other red one ta be sure.”
She held out her hand, suggesting for Rainbow Dash to hand over the wire. Dash reluctantly let her have it, though a split second later devoted her full attention to the flame, ready to see the fireworks and maybe even take some notes. Maybe.
Applejack looked over to Rarity, who she was certain could identify the red hue without even trying.
“Looks like Applejack and Rainbow Dash are getting a head start, Sunset,” Rarity said. “Let’s get to it, shall we?”
She handed Sunset the beaker and the platinum wire. Sunset set down the beaker and poured in a small amount of the HCl from the jug. She stirred it with the platinum and let the wire sit in the glass.
“Let’s work our way down from the first vial,” Sunset said, grabbing the first vial.
She put some of the powder from the vial on the petri dish. She closed the vial and put it away. Carefully she got the wire and dried it in the flame.
“Well, here goes.” Sunset scooped up some powder and put it into the flame. Rarity squinted her eyes in case it would be bright.
The violent flame turned a very calming amber. Rarity took her notes after she snapped out of marvelling.
Sunset stirred the wire in the acid and dried it in the flame. She put the first vial on Rarity’s side of the table before grabbing the next one. She put some of the powder from the second vial on the dish and scooped it up with the wire. The flame turned blue, somewhere between sky blue and azure.
Rarity was really mesmerized with how such an elegant sequence of actions can make something so pretty out of ugly toxic powders and the most intense of flames. The platinum really brought out the colours since it itself did neither react, nor act as a catalyst. Each time it came out brilliant.
As Sunset held the wire back in the flame for the next vial, Rarity spoke up.
“You know Sunset, if you don’t mind,” she started, “I… I think I would like to give it a try after all.”
Sunset instantly smiled gleefully at the chance to share something she liked as much as this. “Sure thing!” She said, as she handed Rarity the wire. “You know what to do next?”
Rarity nodded and reached for the third vial. Sunset handed her the vial and the petri dish so she could continue the experiment. She got ready to take some notes.
Gingerly, she put some of the powder on the dish and lit it with the wire. The flame turned a near violet blue, though not particularly bright.
Rarity let out a little gasp. “It’s like a little sapphire!”
Sunset was writing down the observation from the experiment, though she’d much rather be writing in her diary to Twilight. It wasn’t much of a friendship lesson, but it certainly was magical to see someone she’d never imagine appreciating chemistry with her like this. She was merely the observer. Rarity did this all on her own, and for her own enjoyment.
Rarity looked about before her for the beaker, which Sunset promptly handed her. She rinsed the wire and dried it in the flame.
“Wow, you’re picking this up pretty quickly, Rarity!” Sunset said.
Rarity winked “I learnt from the master!”
Sunset provided the fourth vial for Rarity, who poured some of the powder onto the petri dish and lit it in the flame using the wire. A brilliant flame came forth, flooding the room in white for seconds on end.
“Ooh ho ho my!” Rarity said with a chuckle. “Was that bit much?” She asked as the light finally died out.
Sunset rubbed her eyes from the flash. “Maybe just a little bit, yeah.”
Sunset heard a tapping noise, like a key hitting the table at random until it hit the glass of the beaker. Rarity rattled the wire in the glass, sterilizing it.
Her vision was still blurry but Sunset noticed Rarity dragging the cup of acid towards her, not having lifted the wire out of it. “Rarity, hold still.”
Rarity froze, not moving a muscle. “Is… please don’t tell me there’s a spider on me,” she said quietly. “I’m still a little blinded by the light.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell you there’s a spider on you,” Sunset joked.
Startled. Rarity jerked her hands back, knocking over the beaker and spilling the acid.
“Teacher!” Sunset yelled. “We have a situation here!”
The teacher hastily made her way to their desk, pulling Rarity, seat and all, away from the acid.
“Everything alraht?” Applejack asked. Rainbow had turned around as well.
The teacher looked about, assessing that they were. “Yes Applejack, they’re fine.”
“I still see blots everywhere,” Sunset complained. “Rarity, are you okay?”
She could barely make out that Rarity nodded. “Yes darling, I’m fine, save for the blots as well.” She frowned. “But next time if you want to joke around, please pick a better occasion.”
Sunset looked at the desk and noticed the spilt cup of acid. She’d been bright enough only to use a few millilitres, unlike some of the other students who just filled it up. This could’ve had a worse outcome, she realized. Now there was but a small spillage on the table, easily cleaned up. Miss Erlenmeyer tended to it.
“I’m sorry, Rarity,” Sunset said. “I just noticed you were dragging the beaker towards you and didn’t want it to spill on you.” She chuckled a little. “Ironically, I figured saying ‘Rarity wait!’ or ‘Rarity stop!’ might startle you.”
“It’s alright Sunset, you’re forgiven,” Rarity said as she was joining up with Sunset.
Sunset’s heart skipped a beat. She looked around and spotted Ditzy looking back a few rows ahead of her. Ditzy simply nodded and turned back around.
“Thank you Rarity,” Sunset said. “That means a lot to me.”
“Let’s continue with the next vial, shall we?” Rarity said. “I wouldn’t want to finish this in after hours.”
“You sure you’re up for it?” Sunset asked “I mean, I don’t mind to-”
“Yes yes darling, it’s fine,” Rarity said, holding the wire in the flame. “If you could pour me another bit of the acid?” She was already getting the next vial and the petri dish.
‘Woah, she’s really taking charge’ Sunset thought. “Yeah sure,” she said. Sunset got the beaker and the jug. She rinsed the beaker, cleaning off any residual acid before pouring a new batch.
In the refraction of the glass and acid she saw a violet light coming from the Bunsen burner. She looked at Rarity, handing her the beaker. “Slow down will ya?” she said, “I wasn’t even ready to take notes yet.”
“I’m sorry dear,” Rarity apologized. “I thought you were ready.”
“It’s okay, Rarity,” Sunset said. You are forgiven.
The thought lingered. Forgiven. She thought again. For what? What did she herself need forgiveness for? Sunset looked at Rarity, who was completely focused on the experiment. What for did Rarity need forgiveness? Why was it these words stuck with her in these plain situations?
The flame burnt a sea green as Rarity progressed through the matter. She put the wire in the cup.
“Rarity?” Sunset asked. “Did something happen between us?”
Rarity let the wire rest in the beaker and turned to Sunset, resting her arms in her lap. Sunset had her full attention, and Rarity hers.
“I’ve been thinking,” Rarity began. “What you said this morning when we sat in the cafeteria.” Rarity held her head low in shame, though not without losing eye contact. “We have been quite distant, and it’s a shame really.”
Sunset was glad to hear there was no ill intent behind how they’ve grown apart, though the fact they had was no less painful for it.
“So, what did happen?” Sunset asked.
“Don’t you remember darling?” Rarity asked. Sunset noticed the Crusaders standing behind her lab partner. Like lightning, her temper struck bad soil.
“Oh I remember now,” Sunset snarled. She got up, as did Rainbow Dash and Applejack behind her.
“Woh woh, easy Sunset.” Dash said.
Sunset turned around, and Applejack scuttled past Dash. Sunset was breathing heavily. Her fists hung by her belly.
Applejack sighed.
“Ahm sorry Sunset, ‘bout all the rott’n things that have been goin’ on.” She looked to Rarity, then to Dash and finally back to Sunset again. “The things we’ve all done.”
“We would’ve still been friends had it not been for those three!” Sunset yelled, pointing at their sisters. “It’s not fair, Applejack!” Her lip quivered. “It’s not fair!”
“Why...” Sunset trembled. “Why weren’t you there for me?” She turned to Dash, who dared to look surprised. “Where were you when I needed you most?!” She poked Dash in the chest, nearly pushing her over had she not put her hands on the desk.
“Well?! Answer me!” All Dash did was look away in shame.
“I...” Sunset swallowed. “I was going to say I could handle all the bullying. And I did, for the most part.” She put a fist on Rainbow Dash, verging on a punch. “But what hurt the most.” She landed another fist. “What I couldn’t … Why did you betray me?! You’re Rainbow Dash! How could you?!”
With a push, she got off of Dash and looked back to Applejack. “And why didn’t you seek the truth? Why did you doubt me?” Sunset looked down and shook her head. “You doubted me over strangers on the internet.”
Sunset swung a fist square in Applejack’s face, only to stop at a hair’s breadth.
Rarity gulped, knowing she was next. She got up and pushed her seat back as she stepped away from Sunset.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Sunset asked as she spun around. ”You’re as guilty as all the others!”
“I’m sorry Sunset!” Rarity said. “I just didn’t know who else it could have been!”
“You thought I was GUILTY?! Are you insane?!” She hit her fist on the desk. “Why, by Celestia’s mane, would I spread those awful rumours?!”
“I don’t-”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Sunset shrieked.
She violently swiped her notebook at Rarity if not right at her sister. Rarity put her hands up. The notebook hit the Bunsen burner, sending it flying.
Rarity let out a blood curdling shriek as the flame burnt her skin and clothes. Sunset covered her mouth in shock. The teacher came running and dragged Rarity towards the shower.
“Sunset! The gas!” She yelled.
For the moment, Sunset found some clarity and went and turned off the gas to the burner, which in turn ceased immediately.
Everyone moved towards the corner, trying to get a glimpse of Rarity’s situation. The teacher had already turned off the shower. The fire had died.
“Please make way!” Erlenmeyer said. “Clear a tap please. Come on Rarity.”
She helped Rarity towards a tap, holding her burnt arms under the lukewarm water.
“Sunset, could you call in the nurse?” the teacher said. “Explain the situation on your way back.”
Sunset nodded, knowing Rarity was in good hands. She looked back at Rarity, who was gritting her teeth and crying with her eyes shut tight while her arms were cooled under the lukewarm water. Saying sorry was not going to do her any good, the nurse would.
As fast as she could safely manage, she moved out of the classroom and into the hallway. Down three flights of stairs and back down a hallway, she made it to the nurse’s office.
“Nurse… Redheart?” Sunset panted. “Ch-Chemistry lab, burns, first or second degree. Hurry.”
Nurse Redheart immediately grabbed the appropriate equipment and moved out. She stopped in the doorway. “Who’s hurt?”
“Rarity,” Sunset said.
Redheart nodded and went on her way.
Sunset sat down on one of the lounge chairs in the office to catch her breath. Around the corner, she heard a running tap and a glass filling up. She looked to the door.
A familiar silhouette walked in. Sunset looked away. Ditzy offered a glass of water to Sunset and put it on the coffee table. Sunset took the glass and chugged away. Ditzy closed the door and sat down across from Sunset.
Sunset daren’t look to Ditzy. “I didn’t chase after anyone, again,” Sunset said. “I got out of the way and got Rarity the help she needed.”
Ditzy nodded. “But,” she started, “you’re also not going to run back, are you?”
Sunset shook her head. Ditzy sighed and got up. She motioned for Sunset to follow her out the door.
One room down this dead end was the infirmary. The door was locked. Through the wire glass, Sunset saw a blurry pink blob resting on the table, and a yellow-pink blur sitting peacefully beside her.
“Half the day has passed,” Ditzy said.
Sunset looked to Ditzy. Who had a hand on the glass, though she was looking back at Sunset. The two figures behind the glass hadn’t moved, though a quiet whimpering could be heard. Sunset faced the glass again and frowned in silence.
“They’re not here because of you,” Ditzy said. “But you are.”
Sunset angrily turned to Ditzy. “What, so you think I burnt Rarity on purpose?!” She angrily yelled. “Just like how she thought I’d lied about everyone?!”
Ditzy shook her head and looked as serious as Sunset had ever seen a person. Ditzy held Sunset’s shoulders.
“What I’m saying is that you’ve changed!” Ditzy’s voice carried a sense of dread and concern. “And you’re still changing.”
Sunset calmed down, trying to reflect on what she’d been doing today, realizing Ditzy was right.
“And, I hope you can see where you’re headed,” she pondered.
Sunset let it sink in before answering. “I’d like to think I do,” she answered. She turned away from Ditzy. “I feel so lost without my friends, Ditzy.” She turned back to her. “And it gets worse!”
Ditzy gave her an inquisitive look. “Oh?”
“I have nowhere to let go of all of this… This anger and frustration!” She said, having raised her voice. “This is where I’d talk it out with them! But I can’t!”
Her eyes had gone watery. “I can’t… I can’t go back to them, Ditzy!”
Ditzy walked up to Sunset, offering her a shoulder to cry on. She wrapped her arms around her until she’d quieted down.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Sunset finally said.
“I understand,” Ditzy said.
“Do you?” Sunset asked. “I hope you don’t, for your sake. I hope you’ve not been through something like this!” Sunset raised her voice again. “I’ve never seen the whole school turn against you! You’re just a pathetic little wallflower, never making a fuss! The worst you get is some mocking over your strabismus!”
She punched her palm with a fist. “You don’t get kicked to the floor or have people messing you up! Heck, I think I might’ve been the worst thing that happened to you and no offence, but I didn’t even care enough to pester you!”
“Do you even have any friends who could betray you like mine did me? Is there anyone you’d just want out of your life for a while?!” Sunset yelled. Then, she dropped dead quiet, as she noticed Ditzy quietly sobbing.
Sunset face palmed, realizing what she’d just done.
“You’re right Ditzy, I have changed,” Sunset said, looking down. “I’m sorry for taking that all out on you. Forget what I just said.”
Ditzy wiped away a tear. “I’m sorry,” she started quietly. “I’m sorry we made you into this,” she apologized. “I’m sorry I never had a second thought.”
“H-hey, come now! I’m the one apologizing!” Sunset stammered, putting a hand on Ditzy’s shoulder.
Ditzy looked up. “But all those times I could’ve stepped in! All those times I could’ve just-”
“All those times you could’ve should have and would have,” Sunset interrupted. “Trust me when I say, I understand. That’s about 95% of my thoughts.”
Ditzy’s tears had stopped.
“If it makes any difference, I don’t remember you hurting me personally, or coming after me or my friends,” Sunset said. “So fess up to something you actually did or just let it go.”
The blonde girl stopped to think but nothing came to mind.
Sunset shook her head. “If you come up with anything, don’t bother with it,” Sunset said. She smiled. “Thanks for taking the heat just now, even if you didn’t mean to. Or I for that matter.”
Ditzy nodded.
Sunset sighed.
“I’m not sure if I’m changing for the better or for the worst,” Sunset said. “Maybe both, in some ways. Clearly, the way I was wasn’t good enough.” She said, crossing her arms. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to change. Be more assertive, more dominant. Taking some control. Not letting my happiness depend on others.”
“You’ll really have to think about what you want to keep around and what you’ll need to shake,” Ditzy said. “While you have that luxury. If you don’t make those decisions, they’ll only end up being made for you.”
Sunset looked to Ditzy with worry. “I’m not looking forward to it. I was okay with who I was. Who I am. Sure, I have insecurities and flaws, but I was heading in the right direction.”
She looked away in pain.
“I had my friends to help me. To guide me.” Sunset said. Her expression hadn’t changed for the better when she looked back to Ditzy. “I’m not sure if I can do this on my own. I’m actually pretty sure I’ll fail!”
Ditzy nodded. “Things have changed a lot around you,” she said. “You will change, whether you want to or not.”
“I don’t want to change!” Sunset said. “I want my friends back! I want things to go back to normal!”
Sunset could see Ditzy’s mouth moving. She could hear the sound of her voice. Yet, she couldn’t make out what she was saying.
“Ditzy?” Sunset asked. “I didn’t catch the last part, could you repeat that?”
However, Ditzy eloquently moved, almost danced, past Sunset as if in a hurry to get somewhere. She nodded and waved goodbye before moving on at a jogger’s pace, leaving Sunset behind on her own.
Sunset turned back to the wire glass. Her friends had moved on. She should go back to class now that she’s caught her breath and enough clarity to do so. Yet another thing not to look forward to.
Just before she turned away, the door to the room behind the wire glass opened up. A purple person, a young lady, had walked in. Sunset felt her heart beating in her throat. In a hurry, she ran around the corner to get into the wire glass room. It was dim and deserted, faint yellow light falling in from down the hallway.
“We may have been drawn to you because it is our destiny,” she heard Twilights voice within her mind. ”and well, my destiny for sure, but it was you who ultimately reached out to us and found salvation. That day ...”
Sunset closed her eyes and envisioned Twilight standing before her. She knew she looked at Sunset with eyes that had matured a great deal past those that had gazed upon Sunset’s outer daemon. “That day, you gave me something special, for which I am forever grateful.”
“You conquered the monster of your own creation. I had never seen anything like it. You, Sunset,” Twilight poked Sunset on her chest. ”You are the spark of hope I hold dear for everyone I will ever meet.”
Sunset looked away with a painful grimace, hearing words of which she felt she was not deserving. She crossed her arms and knowing she would fail to hold back any tears as she did. Twilight kept quiet for a moment, waiting for Sunset to protest. To doubt her every word. She didn’t. Twilight spoke again.
“Sunset, listen to me,” Twilight said. “This is very important.”
Sunset looked up, wiping away her tears. Before her stood Twilight manifest.
“We have defeated your demon,” Twilight said. “Do you know what that means?”
Sunset quietly shook her head.
“That means that all that is left, is you. Only you. Only the good in you,” Twilight said. “And you have to remember that.” She smiled coyly, like a teacher would at a student. She had her mother’s smile. “You are not your old self. You don’t know who you are anymore. Everything is strange and new.”
Sunset felt her own heart beating quietly as she listened intently to the one person who seemed to understand her more than even she did.
“But that itself is something you can understand,” Twilight continued. “Understand that the known isn’t always good. You have shed your darkness but have yet to fill the hole left in its place.”
Twilight stepped forward and embraced the silenced Sunset. “I know you can do it, Sunset. We can do it. All of us together.”
Images of Sunset’s friends flashed before her mind’s eye in rapid succession. Of Rarity and Pinkie Pie, of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Of Applejack. Images of joy, evolving into the grim final memories she had of them.
Sunset pushed Twilight away, trembling. Twilight steadied her body though her features were riddled with confusion.
“This is not about me, Twilight!” Sunset cried out. “You know this! I’ve told you this!” She breathed heavily, sobbing. “This isn’t about me! It’s got nothing to do with my demon either! They all betrayed me!”
Twilight didn’t speak. Sunset caught her breath.
“That’s the hole!" Sunset concluded. “I don’t know myself! But I sure as Tartarus don’t know any of them anymore!” She said, lashing out.
“Do you still know me?” Twilight asked. Sunset paused. The two exchanged intense and scrutinizing looks. Any minor twitch in their faces could make or break the answer.
“To be honest Twilight, I’m not sure,” Sunset finally began. “Rationally, I know I know you. I know who you are. I know you’re not with those at school. You’ve not bullied nor betrayed me. You’ve done nothing but support me an-” She sobbed, “And you’ve been a good friend.”
“But ...” Twilight inquired.
“But can you really blame me for having doubts? Five people I considered just as close to me as you just did the unthinkable. How can I trust anyone anymore?” Sunset asked. Desperation crept into her next few words. “How can I? Why should I?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight answered sincerely. “My studies have not been that advanced. Your doubts are reasonable.”
“... I guess such a blunt, cool and academic answer instead of empty platitudes does give me some faith in you, instead of in the future,” Sunset remarked with a sarcastic air.
“I know you, Sunset,” Twilight began. “And I also know our friends in this world. Do you trust me enough to believe me when I say that?”
Sunset frowned as her thoughts conflicted. She wanted to trust Twilight. She had earned the benefit of the doubt. However, who was to say that their five friends wouldn’t betray Twilight? Did Twilight know them well enough to consider what they’d done? What they might do to her?
“How can you trust them when you’re in no different position than me?” Sunset asked. “Are you telling me that you’d trust them even after what they’ve done to me?”
This was but a minor skirmish in a long drawn out war, Twilight knew. An important one, absolutely, but not one that would win or lose everything. Not one that when drawn out, would end any better than at any other time.
“I have faith in myself,” Twilight said. “I know and trust myself well enough to be able to find an answer that will bring us all back together.”
“But do you trust them?”
“You’re right Sunset,” Twilight’s face was awash with sadness. A real sadness, though small, realized at the same level of Sunset’s betrayal and abandonment. A connection. “What they did was absolutely unthinkable. I never thought I’d find myself in this situation. I didn’t think something like this would happen, that they would do something as terrible as this.”
“However,” she continued, “I also know they deeply regret that they’ve hurt you this bad.”
Twilight put up a cautious smile. “I trust myself enough to trust my friends. And I trust you enough to trust me.”
In the pit of her stomach, Sunset could feel it. The time for judging people merely on intuition and feelings was over. Having tried people on their purpose to her cause before, and after, having trusted them as a matter of faith, she had again run out of ways to tell friend from foe. Her mind ran it to the absurd where she’d keep logs and fill out technical scoring forms on “how good a friend Pinkie Pie had been today,” already aware that this was not the way.
However they would get back together, it would take a very long time to even trust anyone again, let alone those five.
Do I trust Twilight? Sunset asked herself. The answer was an unmistakable no. However…
“I trust you’ll be able to find a way,” Sunset said, finally. “I hope you will.”
Twilight nodded. “Always remember that you have your own power too, Sunset. After all this has passed and you look back, don’t ask ‘what have I become?’ but instead, ‘what have I made of myself?’. You must seize your destiny.”
Twilight vanished. Sunset turned around.
She got out of the dead end of the nurse’s rooms and back towards the stairs, all the while thinking about what she’d done. Thinking about Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and now Rarity.
It’s all my fault. She thought. I should’ve just stayed in bed.
The scene of her throwing the notes and inadvertently the Bunsen burner at Rarity and her sister and friends played again in her thoughts. Rarity’s clothes had caught fire when the Bunsen burner hit and the gas tube had momentarily snagged on her hand.
Sunset turned at the top of the first flight to ascend the next. Though she didn’t particularly notice, the not all of the lights were on downstairs.
In the alarming moment, Sunset hadn’t had time to assess Rarity’s condition beyond “urgent” and “burns”, which was enough to act the way she had. She was left to wonder how her friend was doing. It couldn’t be good.
We were having such a great time too, Sunset thought. Please be okay!
The next flight of stairs were just around the next turn when Sunset bothered to look behind her. The downstairs hallway had but a faint light coming from the classrooms further down. Sunset picked up her pace, not certain as to why.
The last she’d seen of Rarity was her painful grimace. Jaws locked shut, teeth bare, her eyes closed. Tears running down her face. What have I done!
Thoughts of Rarity consumed her mind. This was different. This wasn’t like Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie, she realized now. She didn’t deny her responsibility in their suffering, but this time, she had been violent. How could you! echoed Rarity’s voice within her. Worse than carrying anger, it instead carried the sadness she herself felt in her own heart. The sadness of a deep trust violated.
On the next stairway, she heard footsteps going up ahead of her. She turned the around at the top of her flight, moving on to the next one. She glanced beyond the doors to the hallway, seeing naught but faint and scattered silver daylight, finding its way in through the windows of the classrooms. All the rest was drowned in shadows. A sense of dread chased her up the next steps.
Oh Rarity. What have I done?, Sunset thought. What have I done to you? Sunset frowned with a mix of disgust, fear and anger. I’ve hurt my best friend, she thought grimly. In her gut she felt the bile. She had tarnished Rarity’s trust in her, as well as that of her other friends. A trust they had all worked so hard on to build.
She turned at the top of the steps and noticed Ditzy’s shadow on the wall. “Ditzy?” She called out. Ditzy kept moving up the stairs. Sunset was now giving chase.
“Ditzy wait!” Sunset shouted. She was close to running out of breath again. “D-uhg! Ditzy!”
The footsteps ahead of her had stopped. Sunset turned on to the next set of steps, seeing Ditzy standing still at the top, facing away.
“Thanks...” Sunset panted. “Thanks for waiting up…,” she said, still catching her breath.
Ditzy turned around where she stood. Sunset couldn’t make out her expression from the bright roof light behind her. She looked away momentarily, shunning from the brightness.
The steps down were steeped in utter darkness, save for a teal pair of eyes, surrounded by a faint red aura. Shocked, Sunset looked back up, squinting against the light. Upstairs, Ditzy had extended her hand to Sunset. Sunset could feel the darkness crawling up around her, already grasping her ankles.
She wrestled one free, putting her foot on the next step towards Ditzy. Grabbing hold of the railing, she pulled up her other foot. Another step towards Ditzy. Now free, she threw what felt like her last breath against running up. Up. Away from the darkness. Towards the light.
Sunset powered through, going up two steps at once, yet Ditzy remained just out of reach as though she were running up an escalator. The steps grew taller and before long, Sunset was barely hanging on to what had become a steep ledge separating her from Ditzy. The gap between them widened, and Sunset’s body had reached its limit, and dropped into the darkness.
***
Startled, as though waking from a daydream, Sunset bounced in her seat, sitting back at her desk. She looked around a little out of place, but everything seemed as it should be. To her right she saw Dash and AJ make an amber flame. To her left was Rarity. Unscathed. Across sat Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie working just as hard.
Sunset looked at the table. No trace of the acid having tipped over. The Bunsen burner was safe and upright, it’s blue flame sounding like a quiet roar. Around the room she heard the tapping of glass and the excitement of experiments.
She looked back to Rarity, who had stopped and looked back at her.
“Are you alright, Sunset?” Rarity asked.
Sunset didn’t answer and instead looked somewhat bewildered. Her gaze turned to Rarity’s arms and clothing. She was perfectly pristine.
“What?” Rarity asked, looking about herself, “Is there something on me?” She gasped. “Did I spill anything nasty on myself? Please tell me I didn’t!”
Sunset shook her head. “It’s fine, Rarity,” she said. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I’m sorry.” She looked down. I’m so sorry! She thought
“Sorry?” Rarity asked. “Whatever for, darling?”
“Well,” Sunset began, not sure if she should even tell her what she’d just experienced. She glanced around the room. Pinkie Pie was listening intently, though still pretending to be focused on the experiment with Fluttershy. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were too much into things to be easily distracted, surprisingly enough. A minor piece was missing. Someone was missing.
“I guess I just had a bad day dream just now,” Sunset said. “I’m just happy to be back, that’s all.”
Rarity had confusion written all over her face but decided not to doubt Sunset.
“Glad to have you with us, Sunset,” Rarity said. “Wherever you may go, or end up, you’ll always be welcome back with us.”
“Thank you, Rarity,” Sunset said. Words she had longed to hear, spoken by one of the dear few by whom she needed them spoken. If only today could be like right now, but she daren’t hope for too much.
The experiments were coming to an end. Various students had already shut off their burners and washed clean the dish by the sink for chemical waste. So too had Sunset and her friends. Everyone was going through the results of their respective endeavours, concluding they had gotten most of the colours right. Rarity judged the chart to be wrong, much to the bemusement of the others.
Sunset sighed in bliss, enjoying the momentary calm. Although she wasn’t interacting with anyone at the moment, as the teacher was explaining the nature of the coloured flames, she could only smile when she saw her friends surrounding her.
There was however an anxiety dwelling within her. Someone was missing. Someone important. Things were far from okay, even though they are as they should be. Or rather, her situation falls in line with what she envisioned as being ideal.
Through the windows, she noticed her friends’ sisters taking a break in the school courtyard. Talking among themselves. Sweetie Belle suddenly, and calmly, turned around and faced Sunset. Not just looking in her general direction, but looking her dead in the eyes, despite Sunset being a few stories up. Sunset quickly looked away and back into the classroom, hoping against the odds she hadn’t been found out.
After a moment, when Sunset looked back again, they were gone.
“Sunset?” Ms. Erlenmeyer called out, “could you please tell the class what element was the cause of the amber flame?”
Darn it Sunset thought, having paid noticeably little attention. Ms. Erlenmeyer was visibly irritated. “Yeah, sure,” Sunset said. “The amber flame was caused by sodium ions in the solution.”
“And?” Ms. Erlenmeyer hinted at further information.
“Aaaaaand...” Sunset thought for a moment. “It was the same colours as streetlights?”
“Because...” Ms. Erlenmeyer again tried to draw out whatever answer she already knew Sunset wouldn’t have, or thought she didn’t.
“Because…. The same thing happens but with electricity instead of a flame?” Sunset smiled sheepishly, thinking she was reaching Twilight levels of studious good girl points.
Ms. Erlenmeyer humphed. “Close enough, Sunset,” she said, “I’m glad to hear you were paying attention.” She continued the lecture. Sunset figured she just got lucky.
Sunset’s gaze wandered off again back to where she’d seen the Crusaders, though they hadn’t returned. Instead, the moment she turned to look at the door, she noticed them standing behind the window. Sunset couldn’t tell for certain, but it almost seemed they were looking at her. When she blinked, they were gone.
The last remaining minutes before the end of class passed swiftly, as the odd occurrence with her friends’ sisters faded from Sunset’s mind. The absence of her important classmate lost priority and all matters of concern were superseded by positive vibes.
The bell rang and everyone packed up their stuff. Sunset’s friends had gathered at the door, waiting for her to join them. She picked up her bag and rushed to join them in the hallway, passing by Fluttershy who was holding the door. Stealthily she was trying to catch a glimpse of her hands, which looked to be just fine.
Idle chit chat ensued while the group was heading towards the lockers to get their PE attire. They turned the corner at the stairwell, right behind a class of younger students. She noticed Snips and Snails, being led by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, behind whom were some of the other students. At the very front were the Cutiemark Crusaders. Water was running down the outside windows.
During these brief moments, everybody followed the same rules. When the bell rings, calmly head towards your next class as quickly as moving calm allows you to move. No time for detours or delays, however much Sunset would want to walk behind anyone but them.
To Sunset, the Crusaders had served only one purpose since the incident. They had done nothing but remind her of her situation, which inevitably lead to her losing hope of ever restoring harmony. Restoring her friendships. With each breath of doubt, her will to even try was diminished ever further.
Sunset’s clique had finally split off from the other group of students. No minute later had they reached their lockers. They quickly exchanged their valuables and non-essentials for their gym necessities and moved towards the locker room. They all suspended their bags from the hooks over the benches and started to undress.
“Is e’rything alra’ht Sunset?” Applejack quietly asked, still facing the wall. “You were pretty quiet on the way here.”
“I’m fine,” Sunset said. “I just have a lot on my mind. That’s all.”
“Mahbe some exercise will git yer mind offa thangs,” Applejack offers. “Works for me. When Ah’m runnin’ chores on tha farm, it helps sort me out.”
“Don’t worry AJ,” Dash said daringly, “I’ll sort you out in just a bit.”
“Things won’t be like last time, Dash,” Applejack said. “Yer goin’ down, even if yer goin’ down last.”
“And you better watch your back!” Dash winked.
Sunset sighed, not even detracting from their banter. She recalled the good times of just today. The presentation on the nervous system with Fluttershy. Lunch with Pinkie Pie. Chemistry with everyone, but in particular in Rarity’s pleasant company. It all seemed too good to be true; that usually means it is.
Why had she been so quiet on the way here? Seeing Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle just now, for the whole while going down, had left her without words. All the world had been invisible but those three. Like a rodent waiting for the spider to strike had she followed their every move. A tension had seized in her chest. One wrong move and….
She got slightly startled when Fluttershy put a hand on her shoulder. Sunset had a top around her arms in front of her. She was just about to take it off completely.
“Sunset? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked.
Sunset turned around and let the top slide down her arms and into her hands. For a moment she remained just like that. Exposed. She watched her friends closely, one by one as they looked back at her.
None of them even responded. Sunset checked herself to be sure, but all the skin on her chest and belly was fair.
“Is something wrong, Sunset?” Rarity asked. She looked Sunset up and down, not noticing anything out of place. “Did we miss anything?”
Seeing Rarity and her friends’ honest concern was something Sunset had intended by exposing herself like this. To show them her scars. To see again how they would respond. Something to rid herself of this lasting uncertainty one way or the other.
Instead, all she should be feeling, she knew, was relief that things had never changed. She was but her previous and intact self. Her friends were as she thought she knew them.
Her friends were still looking at her, not having broken the silence or stares. Merely waiting for an answer.
Flustered, Sunset turned around and tried to put away the top, making a bit of a mess doing so.
“Well, uh, no,” Sunset quickly said. “Like I said, I’m fine!”
Her friends looked at one another, to no further clarity. Dash and AJ shrugged. Pinkie Pie and Rarity turned back to changing themselves. Fluttershy kept looking on a bit longer, only to get back to changing seconds after.
Sunset got her sports top out and put it over her head. As she was moving her hands towards the sleeves, she touched on where she knew her scars were. All was smooth, no more pain. She pulled the collar to be wide enough to take a peek and check and noticed there was nothing there.
Having lost a bit of time, she quickly followed suit with her shorts and shoes. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was all but just a dream, or if having been injured had been.
She looked up towards the door from having tied her shoelaces. The dressing room was empty save for her smiling friends waiting for her near the exit. Beyond the open door were the sounds of cheerful students and bouncing balls, rendered invisible by the bright sunlight coming through the high-up southern windows.
“Come on! Let’s go!” Dash said, brimming with energy. “We’ve been waiting for this all day!”
Sunset got up, certainty sprawled across her face. “Let’s do this!”
The group of friends entered the court, Sunset tailing everyone. There was a cold draft when she moved into the light; it felt more refreshing than anything. Looking around, she noticed groups of students just relaxing or playing before class started. The more responsible students were setting up the game, even if it was simply getting the few props ready.
The teacher appeared from his office and finished the preparations. The class was issued to do some warming up exercises, involving running a few laps and pairing up to do some stretching.
Dash was standing out in the open not yet having picked a partner when her look crossed Sunset’s, who was in the same predicament. A wordless decision had been made.
They found themselves a corner spot. Dash lay down on the ground, putting her hands behind her head and keeping her feet together. Sunset got the hint and knelt by Dash’s ankles, holding them in place while Dash did some crunches.
“Ya know?” Rainbow Dash began, “I hope we get to be on the same team.”
“Oh?” Sunset inquired. “Why is that?”
“Last time I lost to~” Sunset raised an eyebrow. “My team lost to Shining Armor’s team. He’s like a tank run by a general.”
Sunset looked across the gymnasium, seeing him working out with Flash Sentry. Thoughts she hadn’t had for a while crossed her mind, but not long enough to make her blush.
“... and so he totally squash~”
“You wouldn’t happen to like the guy, would you?” Sunset asked coyly.
Dash quickly looked to her left and right, a bit befuddled from the unexpected question. As if Sunset had asked the floor. She looked at Sunset, who in turn was looking at Shining Armor. Dash turned to look at him before turning her attention back to Sunset.
“Well yeah, I like him.” Dash rolled her eyes. “But not like that. More like, healthy competition.”
“Uh huh” Sunset said, taking it with enough grains of salt to ruin a good meal.
“I mean he beat me last time around,” Dash continued. “So he’s pretty tough competition. I’ve beaten him before but this time he really played things smart.” Dash smirked. “That’s where you come in.”
“So what?” Sunset asked. “You want me to outsmart the guy?”
Dash made a clicking noise and pointed her fingers. She got up and signalled for Sunset to trade places with her. Sunset lay down on her back. Dash held her ankles.
Sunset pondered the situation for a bit but realized she knew next to nothing about Shining’s game, or Dash’s for that matter. She looked at Dash, who was looking at Shining Armor, who was talking to Applejack.
“So how did he beat you last time?” Sunset asked.
“He’ll never admit it,” Dash began, “but I’ll bet he let himself get hit on purpose so he had a spot behind us. That, and we thought we’d taken out their big shot so we relaxed way too much.”
Sunset nodded and Dash continued.
“Well, at the time he also had Big Mac since the teams were a bit jumbled. Anyway, Flash, Big Mac and Shining had this triangle going where they’d always end up getting the ball behind us.”
Dash blushed a little and squeezed Sunset’s ankles.
“I got a clean hit on Big Mac but it didn’t even matter! The their formation just expanded with two of them behind us! They were solid whether they were in or out!”
“Yikes,” Sunset said. “That is pretty intense. What about your own team behind enemy lines?”
“Didn’t matter. On the rare chance they got the ball, Flash Sentry or Big Mac would easily catch them,” Dash said, gritting her teeth.
“Hey!” Sunset raised her voice. “Could you not?”
“Oh, sorry,” Dash said, relaxing her grip on Sunset’s legs. “I just hate losing.”
Sunset got up having completed her routines. She stood next to Dash, trying to come up with something.
“They caught every ball they got tossed?” Sunset asked.
Dash nodded. “It was unreal! I tossed as hard as I could, even threw in a curve or two!”
Sunset crossed her arms and looked at the “general”. He noticed her staring and waved, to which Sunset awkwardly waved back. Flash looked to and fro between them. It didn’t take long for them to get physical, though not serious.
“We’ll have to catch them off guard somehow,” Sunset finally said. “Get them hit via 2 quick passes.”
Dash rolled her eyes. “Good luck,” she said. “They track faster than we can catch, aim and toss.”
“Well then maybe we shouldn’t do that,” Sunset said. “Come on, I’ve got an idea.”
A few minutes went by and the teams had been set. Rainbow Dash hadn’t gotten everyone she’d wanted, but the key figures were on board. Of course, she’d duke it out with Applejack, who had joined up with Shining Armor. As soon as Flash Sentry saw Big Mac with Pinkie Pie and Sunset, he’d recruited Bulk Biceps. Applejack had gone to talk to Rarity and Fluttershy, who’d misread her and joined her team, along with the Flower Trio who overheard them talking about Shining Armor. Sunset and Rainbow Dash had compelled Trixie for the cause, as well as Blossomforth and Cloud Chaser. Lyra and Bon Bon had found themselves forming their own team with Carrot Top and Amethyst Star, but had to give way to the two bigger teams. Lyra and Bon Bon got on Dash’s team, leaving Carrot Top and Amethyst Star to join Shining Armor.
The teams had taken to their respective sides of the playing field and the game was set. Shining Armor’s team was completely in position with Applejack, Flash Sentry and Shining Armor himself at the front of their end. Dash and Sunset however were huddling with their team completing their strategy to see if they had gambled right.
“Teach!” Sunset called out to the teacher. “We won’t get any new rules today will we?”
“Nope,” he answered. He took stock of the students understanding, finding that for some it was their memory that needed some jogging. He got up. “One ball. Hit someone out unless their team catches it, then you’re out. Get back when you hit someone if you’re already out. Last team standing wins,” he announced loud and clear.
Rainbow Dash and Sunset Shimmer positioned themselves dead centre, being fronted by Pinkie Pie and Vinyl Scratch. Big Mac was situated right behind Sunset and Rainbow Dash. Octavia, Lyra, Bon Bon and Trixie were on the far end. On the left and right of centre were Blossomforth and Cloud Chaser.
“Ah hope ya know what yer doin’ there Dash,” Applejack taunted. “Just don’t seem fair to just shield yerself up lahk that.”
“You’ve already lost if you keep thinking that!” Dash replied, winking at Sunset. “You’re going down!”
“Yeah, last!” Applejack said.
“And that’s exactly the plan,” Dash whispered.
“Everyone ready?” the teacher asked. He looked around, taking note of the two teams. One being particularly more on edge than the other. “Go!” He tossed up the ball between the two teams.
Pinkie Pie jumped up the highest, or perhaps the soonest, just outreaching Shining Armor to the ball. She tapped it towards the rest of her team and thus, the game was on. Vinyl Scratch punched the ball immediately back at the still air born Shining Armor. With no way to dodge, he deflected it on his chest to the inside of his court, allowing Flash Sentry to catch it.
The teacher stood by quietly, having to referee this quick skirmish. “Vinyl, you’re out!” Vinyl Scratch lowered her head and slumped behind enemy lines.
“You dolt!” Shining Armor yelled. Flash Sentry and Shining Armor swiftly turned to the other team as if caught with their hands in a cookie jar. “I mean...” realizing he was too late to correct his mistake.
“You know,” Dash began. ”Insanity is trying the same thing expecting different results.” She smirked. “And we intend to deliver some different results alright! So just keep doing what you’re doing!”
“You just got lucky I made an early mistake,” Flash said. “You won’t be that lucky again!”
“You would’ve made a mistake no matter what,” Sunset said.
“And who are we to interrupt you,” Rainbow Dash added with a shrug. Flash grunted.
Flash Sentry nonchalantly tossed the ball to Shining, who started bouncing it while pretending to look for a target. Seeing no clear opening to hit Sunset, Rainbow Dash or Big Mac from his angle, he suddenly tossed it to Applejack, who threw it directly at them. Any hit would do.
Pinkie Pie jumped in to intercept it, but only managed to slam the ball into the ground, almost tripping over herself in the process.
“Wow Pinkie Pie, really?” Applejack asked deadpanned.
“Pinkie Pie, why even?!” Dash asked louder than she intended to, flailing her arms in the air angrily. “I could’ve caught that one easily!” Pinkie Pie looked at her apologetically.
“Pinkie Pie, out!” The teacher announced.
“Sorry Dashie,” Pinkie Pie said. She joined up with Vinyl Scratch at the far end of the opposing field.
The ball remained with Dash, who was now the centre of attention for all of her opponents. Shining, Flash and AJ would not let their guard down. She bounced the ball once. Glancing at Sunset, she saw that she too was at the ready. Back to the tanks. For a split second, Shining Armor got distracted and Dash didn’t let it go to waste.
“Ah ha!” she shouted. She tossed a curveball towards Shining Armor who immediately stood to attention. What he hadn’t expected was for Sunset to intercept the ball with a jump, throwing it past their defences and hitting a zoned out Carrot Top. The ball fell to the ground and bounced just between the hands of Roseluck. With another bounce, Pinkie Pie got it.
Startled, poor Carrot Top shot her teacher a worried look, then her captain, who shook his head.
“Carrot Top, out!” the teacher announced.
Carrot Top looked remorsefully at Applejack.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” she began with a shrug. “Somebody had to be first. Just stay on the alert will you?”
Carrot Top nodded and went to the far end of Sunset’s field.
The ball was now in Pinkie Pie’s hands, who was scanning her vicinity for an easy target. She shrugged, much to the surprise of everyone. She lazily tossed it at Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl did very much the same thing after having bounced the ball just once.
In one intense swoop, Pinkie Pie singlehandedly caught the ball, spun around and flung it at an off guard Bulk Biceps, hitting him square in the gut. The ball dropped to the floor and bounced. Flash Sentry picked it up. Bulk looked at Applejack, who had the most incredulous look on her face.
“Bulk Biceps, out!” The teacher judged. ”Pinkie Pie, in!”
“I’m sorry!” Bulk Biceps shouted panicky. “I guess I dropped the ball there.”
Flash looked at AJ, who didn’t seem too happy having lost two team members in a row. He knew her to be a kind girl, except when losing. Especially when losing to Rainbow Dash.
Flash put his hand on Bulk’s shoulder, though actually addressing Applejack. “The game’s only just begun.” He smiled. “In fact, having people in the back can really work to our advantage!”
“Just pay attention, would you?” Applejack said, also looking at Carrot Top. “One mistake won’t kill us ‘s long as we stop makin’ it, an’ we’ve already made it twice now.”
Dash snickered. Applejack glared.
“Now git goin’ so we can git serious.”
Bulk Biceps nodded. Pinkie Pie was already back in place in front of Dash and Sunset. Dash looked back at Trixie, asking her to come front. Trixie complied while the rest of the rear guard spread a little thinner.
Flash bounced the ball, having taken note of the changes on the field. Carrot Top and Bulk Biceps, although now on the alert, weren’t going to be any more effective in the back than they had been in the field unfortunately. That, however, was also something the other team would think. Not taking the risk, he bounced the ball to Shining Armor.
“Bulk Biceps, catch!” He shouted. He held the ball behind his head and jumped up, looking to see who turned towards Bulk Biceps.
With a whoosh, a soft thud and a bouncy “boing”, Octavia was out and Bulk Biceps had the ball.
The game progressed and the pacing went up the fewer players remained standing in the field. No fifteen minutes later and half the teams had swapped sides, making for a few interesting back and forths, as everyone now had to watch both their front and backs.
Much to Applejack’s chagrin, the field consisted of the team captains and their immediate underlings, as well as some potent players and Fluttershy. Number wise, her team was at a player disadvantage in the form of Blossomforth and Cloud Chaser. Rainbow Dash had the ball.
Sunset clapped her hands twice and glanced at her teammates. Blossomforth and Cloud Chaser moved to the front. Big Mac moved to the centre, being flanked by Dash and Sunset.
Dash tossed the ball to Big Mac, who hadn’t tossed it yet this entire game. He took stock of his opponents, realizing they had overplayed their hand a little. Things could go very wrong very quickly despite their apparent five to four player advantage. He cast a glance at Applejack ever so short, hoping she wouldn’t notice.
“Y’all might think you’ve got us pinned.” Applejack started. “But we ain’t beat yet! In fact, ‘s soon as y’all throw that ball yer done for!”
Big Mac smiled an evil smile at his sister before looking to Sunset, who smiled the same smile.
“You really want to take that risk?” She smirked. “You four really think you can take out the five of us? How will you ever get back in if it’s just one person on your side?”
“This is exactly how we beat y’all last time!” Applejack boasted. “Go on, throw that winning throw!”
Big Mac pulled back to put some momentum in his first throw of the day. He saw Pinkie Pie shifting right, somewhat behind Applejack, Flash Sentry and Fluttershy between them.
With a mighty swing he threw the ball with quite a spin towards Applejack, who readied herself to catch it. The massive spin on the ball curved it’s path right in between herself and Flash, hurtling towards Fluttershy at full force. Miraculously, Fluttershy got out of the way just in time before Pinkie Pie finally got hold of the ball. No two seconds later, Fluttershy got hit in the back.
“Fluttershy, out!” The teacher announced. “Pinkie Pie, in!”
“Pinkie Pie, how could you!” Fluttershy said softly.
“Now you won’t have to worry about dodging every ball that comes your way!” Pinkie Pie said with a cheer. “Won’t that be much easier and relaxing than dodging everything?”
Fluttershy could not help but concur, minding that it was at the expense of her own team. She had managed to dodge every ball until just now. Had she kept up this pace, she’d be the last one standing for sure. A hair-raising thought.
The odds were at a staggering six to three. For the entire game, Applejack had kept a close eye on her brother, as she had wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible. Bulk Biceps had thrown a few powerful balls at him, to no avail. It just wasn’t that kind of strength he’d built.
Her focus had been so powerful she hadn’t even noticed Big Mac hadn’t thrown anything until only just now. Her own foolishness and blind spot irked her greatly. The only bit of consolation was that she had the ball right now.
Her throw wasn’t nearly as powerful as that of her remaining team mates, nor as that of Big Mac of course. No curves she could throw would move the way her brother’s toss just did. There were no openings either, as Macintosh was surrounded pretty solidly. Despite her boasts just now, her best players were still in the field, where their killer combo wouldn’t work. She looked at Sunset, who was simply biding.
“Give it to me,” Shining Armor said. “I may have a plan.”
Without taking her eyes off of Big Mac, Applejack tossed him the ball. No way she’d get anything done in this situation.
Shining Armor bounced the ball once. “We can’t lose any more players as we are, so I’ll focus on getting others back first,” he said. He looked at his teammates, who silently nodded.
“Big Mac!” Shining called out. “Thanks for that toss just now! This one’s for you!”
Big Macintosh readied himself. Cloud Chaser and Blossomforth stepped a little closer, though not further back.
Shining moved similar to Big Mac in preparation of his throw, though what followed next was out of the blue. The ball had left his hand only just about half way during his swing, putting it in a different direction from what his hand would suggest for the remaining split second.
From Shining standing to the right of Bic Mac, the ball flew straight between Blossomforth and Cloud Chaser and curved towards the big guy himself. It had gone so fast he hadn’t had time to react. Fortunately, the throw had been a massive gamble, never meant to be accurate enough. If flew past Big Mac, Sunset and Rainbow Dash and hit the far wall with a thud.
Bulk Biceps caught it before it hit the ground and by coincidence, his eyes met with Shining Armor’s, who looked at Sunset, who had her back turned towards Bulk.
Given her position, Rainbow Dash had been the only one able to follow the entire sequence. She leaped forward as fast as she could to stand between Sunset and Bulk Biceps, who’d now fully cocked his arm and was ready to throw. His arm extended and in mid-air, Rainbow Dash turned to face him, arms outstretched.
The ball hit the palms of her hands but it had so much momentum, Dash couldn’t hold on to it. It flew past the length of her arms and hit her in the chest, costing Rainbow’s footing. She tripped over backwards, falling onto her behind. She finally bumped into Sunset with but a nudge, still holding the ball tight.
Sunset turned around. Dash had decided to just lay down on her back now that the situation was secure. Bulk Biceps looked to Shining, who face palmed and started talking to Flash.
“I told you I had your back,” Dash said in jest. She put her hand behind her back so as to get up and flinched.
“You okay?” Sunset asked. She reached out and helped up Dash. A chill ran down her spine and as though she’d just heard a manticore, her gaze turned towards the little office space by the entrance.
Dash looked at Sunset, then at the office, then back to Sunset. “I should be asking you the same thing,” she said. “You look like you’ve just seen the devil.”
With a frightened look, Sunset turned to Rainbow Dash. She looked up to the audience benches and noticed the Cutiemark Crusaders sitting down at the far end, presiding over Applejack’s court. Her gaze turned back towards the office and behind the window, the blinds turned open to reveal Ditzy simply sitting there, not even looking her way.
Rainbow Dash grabbed Sunset’s hand and gently put the other one, a fist, square in her gut. Sunset looked at her friend. “Whatever it is,” Dash started. “You can count on me to be there if you need me,” she winked.
Sunset forced a gentle smile and quietly nodded, not wanting to give away the dread lurking over her.
“Here,” Rainbow Dash gave Sunset the ball. “Let’s just get back into the game for now.”
The ball had never felt heavier in her hands. She looked out over the field, standing in the far back of her own side. Her team members all looking at her with confidence, trusting her to follow up with her plan. Applejack’s core stood strong still, though they didn’t much concern Sunset.
Sunset’s gaze wandered off up and beyond her opponents. The audience benches were slowly filling up. The three little ones hadn’t left.
“Come on Sunset!” Dash called out. “Time is running out!”
With some effort, Sunset managed to put her focus to the game and nodded at the two front players. “I know it’s a risk, but I trust you two can do it!” Sunset said.
She pitched the ball and slammed it with the other. It hurtled towards Blossomforth, who bent her knees and stretched her arms in front of her, one hand in the other. She bounced the ball immediately towards Cloud Chaser, who in turn bounced it straight at Flash Sentry.
Flash Sentry had anticipated the ball to come from Blossomforth and had yet to respond proper to his new situation. He was mid turn when towards Cloud Chaser when he got hit on his elbow, the ball having been deflected towards his feet. Applejack had rushed to catch it for a save, but it had been too late.
“Flash Sentry!” the teacher started. “Out!”
Flash Sentry sighed and grabbed the ball. He looked to Applejack. “Guess I’m finally in position then, huh?”
Applejack tried to look confident, though he saw her falter. “We can win this yet!” she said. “The way things were goin’, ‘t was only a matter o‘ time before one of us would end up behind ‘em!”
“Yeah great strategy AJ!” Dash shouted. “Letting us win ‘n all, good game!”
Applejack blushed in anger and signalled for Flash to get to the other side already, which he promptly and swiftly did.
Though Dash’s taunts were all the same, Sunset couldn’t help but notice she’d shifted her weight, purposely avoiding putting much weight on one of her legs.
The end game had begun now that both teams were on their respective winning strategies.
Flash had immediately discarded the ball and tossed it to Amethyst Star. She’d tried to toss it across the field such that, would she not hit anybody, it’d at least end up with Applejack. Unfortunately, Cloud Chaser had effortlessly intercepted it and bounced it up to square in the middle of the field.
Big Mac had suddenly burst forward, something Shining Armor responded to in kind. They both jumped up, catching and squeezing the ball between their right hands. Shining Armor was the first to grab hold of it with both hands and tore it from Big Mac, who instantly put his arms up to block the incoming hit.
Shining Armor dropped it as hard as he could. It bounced off of Big Mac, square into his own face, knocking him over. Applejack snapped out of her momentary awe and rushed to catch the ball. She dove towards it and caught it mere inches above the ground.
After a few seconds of silence, the teacher called it.
“Big Macintosh! Out!”
“Woohooo!!” Applejack cheered. “Finally we got ‘im!”
She noticed she was the only one cheering, as Shining Armor had not yet gotten up. In the back, she noticed the rest of her team, and her opposing team, looking anxiously in her general direction. Flash Sentry raised his arm and pointed. Applejack turned.
Applejack rushed to her teammate, as did the teacher. Shining Armor moved to rest on his elbows. “Did we hit him?”
Applejack nodded. “Though we almost lost you too. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Shining Armor got up, stumbling a little. “Probably,” he chuckled. He tried standing up and move to his position on the field, though with much more showmanship than one might expect from people who are actually okay.
The teacher looked at Shining Armor, then to Rainbow Dash and finally to Sunset Shimmer. He looked at his watch and made a call.
“I’m calling a timeout,” he said. ”Three minutes everybody!”
“What?! Why!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack said simultaneously.
“Because people are playing a little too rough for their own good,” he said.
“Pfft, me?” Dash said. “I’m fine! Believe it or not, I trip up a lot!” She boasted. “You don’t get to be the best if you plan on not tripping!”
“Walk towards me,” the teacher said.
“We’re on a break.” Dash rolled her eyes. “I’m fine right here.”
Sunset’s attention had been thoroughly grabbed by the little exchange. She saw the little twitches in Dash’s stance.
“You can’t take a single step, can you?” The teacher asked her.
Rainbow Dash frowned and crossed her arms.
“I’ll be fine right here,” Dash said. ”Just let me win this game.”
“Let’s make a deal,” the teacher started. “If you sit out until the next person has to leave the field, I’ll let you play to the end.”
“Only if Shining Armor gets the same deal,” Dash bargained.
Everyone looked to Shining Armor, who failed to pretend to be perfectly fine.
“Sure thing,” the teacher said. He extended an arm to Rainbow Dash to help her move towards the benches by the sides of the field. She waved him off and skipped on her good leg.
Sunset walked towards her and reached out as the teacher had done, with much more success. “Are you really okay?” she asked. “That doesn’t look okay to me.”
“I saved my friend and really, that’s all I really wanted,” Rainbow Dash said. “Plus I really do fall a lot. It’s part of getting good, ya know?”
Sunset smiled, having faith in her friend’s judgement on her own body and experience. She helped Dash sit down next to Shining Armor, who was resting his head against the wall.
“At least you get to sit with a guy you like,” Sunset said with a wink.
Shining Armor’s eyes shot open, as did Dash’s. They looked at one another, Dash really taking in her bench partner. Shining Armor leaned, inched, back a little. Dash turned back to Sunset.
“Like I said, healthy competition,” Dash said.
“Uh huh,” Sunset said sarcastically.
“What are you blushing about?” Dash asked Shining, who turned away completely red in the face.
Sunset walked back onto the field, the fun squabbling going out of range. People had started to just walk about for a bit, taking the brief timeout to just do whatever. Applejack stood alone on her side of the field, with a forlorn look on her face. Sunset approached her.
“What’s the matter Applejack?” Sunset asked. “You look like you’ve lost more than just a game.”
“Ah haven’t lost yet!” Applejack boldly proclaimed before letting out a deep sigh. “At least, not the game.” A familiar sadness washed over her, giving Sunset a sense of dejavu. “Ah’m sorreh, and Ah know that ain’t enough. It’s just so frustratin’ not knowin’ how to make things raht agin.”
Sunset looked down. “I know,” she said. “I feel the same way.”
“Ah just,” Applejack signed again, knowing her odds. “Ah just wish things could go back t’ normal. How they used to be. The things Ah’ve done, it’s lahk Ah don’t even know mahself anymore.”
Sunset shook her head. “We can’t go back.”
As she spoke those words, the sound of shattering glass rung in her mind. Outside, nothing had changed, but in that moment, all the world for Sunset, was Applejack.
“We can’t go back, Applejack,” Sunset said. “This is something we’ll have to carry forever. You’ve changed, we all have. There is nothing to take this away from us, and there is nothing that can ever change it back.”
She felt as though lightning coursed through her spine. She stomped a foot and grabbed hold of Applejack by her arms.
“You think I want things to be like this?!” Sunset cried out. “You did this! To me! To all of us!”
She let go of Applejack, only to throw her arms up. “Why?! Why would you do this?!” She clenched her head momentarily before holding her hands before her. “I thought we were friends! I...” she swallowed, hard. “I thought I could trust you.”
Applejack couldn’t help but show her tearless remorse. “Ah’m sorreh.” She said.
For the n-th time, Sunset felt tears welling up and decided ‘No more’. She put her foot down, hard. No sorry hearts would be given grace and relieved from ache for as long as hers carried this grief.
“I know you are, but it’s not enough.” Sunset’s voice grew darker. “And it will never be enough.” She spun in place to return to her side of the court. “We’re through, Applejack.”
Sunset had returned to her spot on the field. She looked towards the benches by the court side. They were empty. She bounced the ball once, seeing before her just one remaining opposing player.
“Big Mac?” Sunset called out. Big Mac turned around. “Take my spot. I want this shot.”
Big Mac followed in his leaders wishes and swapped places. Sunset positioned herself dead centre, right across lonely Applejack.
“Applejack, do you still trust me?” Sunset asked.
“Ah do,” Applejack confessed. “How couldn’t Ah? You’ve been honest with us all along!”
“Then,” Sunset continued. “Would you put your hands behind your back?”
Applejack was struck with confusion. “Why?”
“I want to see it,” Sunset said. “Show me that you trust me. Put your hands behind your back and stay still.”
Applejack did as she was told. She’d rather lose a simple game than faith in her friend.
Sunset pitched the ball, Applejack closed her eyes.
With a straight punch, the ball hurtled towards Applejack. A tear ran down Sunset’s cheek as she realized what she had done. The ball hit Applejack square in the gut, enough to knock her down. She held her hands over her belly as she lay curled up in a foetal position.
Sunset walked over and loomed over her former friend. She wiped at her eye. “Now you know,” she said. Sunset looked up to the spectators, seeing Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity all in bandages overlooking the court. She wanted to feel pity. To feel sorry. Instead, all that was left was contempt and disdain.
Sunset looked to the benches beside the court. Rainbow Dash still sat with Shining Armor, nervously on-looking the frowning Sunset. Nothing came of it. Yet.
Finally, Sunset turned towards the teacher, who had yet to call Applejack out. She didn’t care however. She had just her final words, echoing in the quiet ambient light.
“I’m done.”
With a gait as though pulling two weightless ball-and-chains, she headed for the showers. She passed the little office where Ditzy had been before. Her bag was still in there, as was an empty carton of tissues and a full bin.
In the changing room she got undressed and got out her bottle of soap. She stepped into the shower, early enough to not be disturbed by anyone.
She turned the faucet and just let the water run down her hair and body. Enveloping her. Calm and soothing. Nothing but the sound of the water splattering on the floor. Sunset let out a sigh.
She got her bottle and squeezed out some soap. Reluctantly, she put her hands on her chest and started washing herself. Against all hope, she felt her scars again. All her fun experiences today came undone by all the rotten consequences after. Reality sank in: it hadn’t just been a nightmare. An interruption halted that train of thought, turning it away from the inevitable downward spiral she had swirled down time and time before..
The door opened with a creaking sound. Sunset’s ears perked up, though she didn’t turn to look. The skipping sound left nothing to guess as to who had joined her.
The girl kept her eyes on Sunset, though did not get much in return. She hopped towards the far shower to stay out of Sunset’s way and turned the faucet.
There were no words between them. For minutes on end, there were no sounds but splattering and the occasional splash from having to balance and turn on one foot. As closely as Rainbow Dash looked to Sunset, Sunset listened. In the end, Dash was the one to break.
“I’m glad I ended up on your team, Sunset,” Rainbow Dash began. Ice several inches thick would not break with a single line. “We really handed it to them today.”
Silence.
“The teams were fairly balanced too, I liked Shining Armor on the opposing team.” Rainbow Dash was inching slightly towards Sunset. “I have to admit, I didn’t mind sitting next to him either.” Still, no response. “Heh, the oaf had hit himself pretty hard with that rebound.”
Dash looked away. Sunset felt the gaze turn away and snuck a peek. Dash let one arm hang limply from the other hanging by her side, slightly slouching. She closed her eyes again, realizing she had nothing to say.
“I know it isn’t much,” Dash continued. “But I’m glad I caught that ball Bulk Biceps launched at you, even if I hurt myself.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her tailbone. “It’s still numb where I fell.”
Sunset looked again. It was fine to be concerned about a random stranger’s wellbeing.
“Why have you been skipping?” Sunset asked as plainly as possible.
“My leg has been feeling weird when I try and stand on it,” Dash said. “It doesn’t hurt though. It’s just tingly and giving off weird vibes.”
“I’d go see the nurse, it might be serious.” Sunset said with a finality in her voice. She closed her eyes again. A few quiet moments passed.
“I wish I could’ve been there,” Rainbow Dash began with a tremor in her voice. “I should have been there!” She said, having trouble finding her indoor voice.
Sunset looked at Dash. If Sunset were to be hiding any feelings, she might’ve called her expression a poker face. At best, it was disdain.
“When I found out you were in the hospital,” Dash said, “something from the deep had pulled me under. I sunk so hard I couldn’t even fight it.” She looked up to Sunset and grit her teeth, looking like she’d stepped on a Lego. “All the light was gone.”
Having just scolded Applejack – and the rest of her friends – and feeling again that unwavering anger and sadness, Sunset had grown tired of it all. Had she not, she would have told Rainbow Dash she should have been there every time. How many times had she turned her back on her? How many times had she betrayed her own loyalties and their friendship?
They had no more claim to her concern. Their problems were their own, and of their own creation no less.
“I’d go talk to the school counsellor about it,” Sunset said. “It might be serious.”
Taken aback, Dash only grew louder.
“What?” she began. “No! Screw that! I need to talk to you!”
“But I don’t need to listen,” Sunset said. She opened her eyes and frowned. And pointed. “To you.”
“Will you at l-”
“SHUT UP!” Sunset commanded. “I’ve already heard it all. Oh, you’re sorry about not having been there for me when I got injured, or maybe even how you weren’t there afterwards while I was in the hospital.” In her voice there was a venom neither of them had ever had a taste of before as she continued. “You weren’t there the night before your little sister fessed up when I was crying in my room, licking my wounds!”
Dash backed up into the far corner, trying to look away in shame yet finding nowhere to look. Or run. Or hide. Nausea kicked in hard and she could feel the pounding in her chest in her wrists she held to it.
“You weren’t there the thousand times before when I got bullied, or pestered. Ever had to wash food out of your hair and clothes that didn’t come out? How many scars have others carved into you?”
Rainbow Dash slunk down in the corner, warm water running down her face. Her eyes pointing far beyond their horizon.
“You abandoned me a long time ago, Rainbow Dash,” Sunset said. “And I’m done.”
Rainbow Dash could hear her heart beat slower.
“We’re through.”
With a sudden jerk, Rainbow Dash focused on Sunset Shimmer. She reached out an arm. She desperately wanted to protest but she felt she couldn’t even begin to think of asking something akin to “You’re abandoning us?” after all she’d done. What they all had done.
Sunset turned around towards the door, having finished washing up. She was about to touch the handle when the door opened up to a sickly looking Ditzy. She didn’t look too well. She too averted her eyes. Ditzy got out of Sunset’s way before getting into the showers herself. Moments later, sounds of muffled crying filled the changing room.
The remaining girls entered the changing room when Sunset was about half way getting dressed. Ditzy and Rainbow Dash had come back into the changing room. Ditzy had been assisting Rainbow Dash and Applejack had voiced her concerns. None of them dared speak of Sunset by name or approach her. There was just barely the odd glance they thought Sunset wouldn’t notice.
Rainbow really should go see a doctor about her leg. Sunset thought, witnessing the strange spectacle of Ditzy and Rainbow Dash struggling to get her into a pair of denims. Rainbow Dash had deeply blushed at the slightest touch of her leg. While the others were in the shower, quiet, stifled moans emanated from their side of the room. At some point, Rainbow Dash frantically told Ditzy to back off and to turn away. Dash was in a hurry to take off her pants in a very delicate manner. Moments later, she started spasming with her hands on her face, the pants hanging by her ankles.
She really should. Sunset thought again, tying her shoes. Her attention had moved on to making sure she’d gotten all of her things before getting up to leave. The others came back in from the showers and Ditzy was on her second attempt to get some pants on Rainbow Dash, now with the help of Applejack. The exit fell shut behind Sunset, not having looked back even once.
Not long ago, Sunset had been here on her own as well. A beautiful morning before the school premises had even opened. She’d been optimistic and full of renewed energy. Now, this same hallway, near the end of the day, was cast in a cool blue. The windows in the doors at the end looked to be black from here. The reflection on that day and the contrast with this moment had Sunset chuckle at her own naivety and foolishness.
That day, she’d been here on her own. Today, she was alone.
Sunset opened the doors to the next junction of corridors and found it drowned out in darkness. The doors fell shut behind her. She turned around only to find more void. This too had to come to an end.
Sunset sighed and rolled her eyes, which was enough to do away with the theatrics. Her inner demon stepped out from around the corner and walked up to her. Sunset crossed her arms. Her demon smirked.
“Welcome back,” she said. “I see you came alone, and without restraint no less. You saw the dark behind that door and just, barged on in here. Bravo!”
“Are you done?” Sunset asked. “Because I came here with a reason. Believe me when I say me barging in is warranted.”
“I was right, wasn’t I?” the demon boasted. “You’ve actually dumped your friends. Finally.”
She didn’t want to, and tried not to, but Sunset looked away if only for a moment.
“Well good on you, Sunset,” the demon continued. “They wronged you worse than we’d ever wronged anyone.” The demon held up her hand. ”You know, when we ruled this dump.”
Sunset frowned at her, though didn’t disagree. You can’t be betrayed by someone you don’t trust in the first place. Nobody had trusted Sunset back then. Everyone knew exactly how things were run and played the same rotten games of “Don’t obstruct Sunset Shimmer” and “Do as Sunset tells you, or else” etc.
“Well, except maybe when we turned people into zombies,” she chuckled.
“No, you’re right,” Sunset admitted. “That wasn’t as bad as what I’ve been through.”
The demon “Oh? Do tell.” She bit her tongue so she wouldn’t lick her lips.
“Sure, people hated me for having done that,” Sunset said. “They hated having been turned into mindless drones, but it wasn’t like we were some sort of saintly Mary Sue who loved and cared for everyone. We were the bad guy and everybody knew it. In the end, we hadn’t hurt them.”
The demon kept quiet, inviting Sunset to finish the thought.
“What people did to me was intentional, for thinking I was Anon-a-miss,” Sunset said. ”They were out to get me, personally.” Sunset sighed. “I just wish I had gone my own way sooner instead of just sinking into that downward spiral of trying to convince my friends. The fact that I had to convince them at all should have woken me up.”
“I will say though,” Sunset said. “They did save me, my friends.” She stepped forwards towards her enemy. “This is not a problem you can solve.” She put an index finger on the demon’s forehead, who started to growl and snarl. “You just want control. Power. I. Don’t. That’s what they’ve saved me from.” Sunset pushed her index finger hard, making her demon stumble backwards. “You can’t touch me either. I don’t need you, nor do I want you.” One last push from Sunset toppled the demon. Sunset loomed over her. “And I don’t fear you.”
The demon dissolved into the floor, turning the hallway junction a deep crimson all around. Blue flames crawled around in lightning patterns. The doors at the end of the hallway burst open from a vile beast thundering down the hallway, it’s body only inches from the walls and ceiling.
Sunset started to walk towards where she needed to be. Every step she took cleared away the evil around her. The beast had reached her but turned to smoke, dust and vapour the moment it touched Sunset.
“I will have you yet, Sunset!” the last of the red flaming walls echoed at her. “Mark my words! A heart like yours is my perfect home! I will feast on you and there will be nobody to save you this time!”
Sunset simply brushed her hair back with her hand. She was in control and it felt great.
A few steps later and Sunset found herself at her locker, exchanging her sports gear for her everyday items. When she closed it, she noticed Applejack was standing next to her tending to her own locker. No words, signs or even looks were exchanged.
About thirty minutes later, Sunset found herself back at home and in her room. She’d taken out the trash from her room and put the bin in the centre. From her night stand she’d taken the picture out of the frame, torn it up and tossed the confetti in the bin. The pictures on the wall suffered the same fate.
She went and sat down on her bed, browsing through her phone. She had a ton of photos and videos to erase. She didn’t waste any time reminiscing and simply deleted files based on date, not even looking at their contents. Next up was her social media. On every service she went through her feeds and unfollowed, unfriended or deleted wherever applicable.
Lastly, finally, she’d come around to the phone numbers of her friends. The numbers she’d so often dialled for fun or for serious and deep conversations. Numbers that would often bring good news and brighten up her day. “Let’s go to the movies!”, “Wanna go to the beach?”, “Sunset, can I ask you something?” or simply sounds of sniffling or laughter; the past rung in her head.
Applejack. Remove contact. Contact removed. Fluttershy. Remove contact. Contact removed. And so the rest followed suit. If there was a word for having feelings of anger and sadness, and the desire to run at the same time, it would be how Sunset would describe her current disposition.
Sunset scrolled through her phone book to make sure she’d removed all traces, coming across the crusaders entry Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity had put in there. All gone and blocked.
Out of her remaining numbers, she stumbled upon Ditzy’s. Sunset looked at the phone not knowing how this entry got in there but suddenly it rang from this very number. It rang again. Sunset looked at herself in her wardrobe mirror. Ring ring the phone called out. Ditzy’s name was dancing on the screen. Outside she noticed the golden glow of the late afternoon sun. The phone did not sound again.
“Hello? Sunset Shimmer speaking...” Sunset said.
“Oh, hey Sunset,” came the voice from the other side. “How are you?”
She really didn’t know whether or not to let Ditzy know. She did know how she was, she thought. She looked around as though her room might deliver her a suitable answer.
“Hello?”
“I’m okay Ditzy,” Sunset said. “It’s just… It’s been one hell of a day. So, what’s going on? I hadn’t expected a call from you.” I don’t even recall exchanging numbers. She thought.
“Hmm, I don’t want to be a bother, but I also think this is super important,” Ditzy said with a concern laden voice. “After all, the day is almost over. We don’t have much time.”
Just thinking about getting up from the bed and walking around was weighty enough to keep Sunset sat down. The day had been hell. Tonight would probably not be much better as todays chickens would come home to roost. Surely her friends would be on her mind. Maybe a little distraction with Ditzy wouldn’t hurt.
“Oh?” Sunset simply put. “Why? What’s going on Ditzy?”
“Hmmm…. Aahrg! I really can’t explain it over the phone.”
Sunset could just imagine Ditzy messing up her hair.
“Alright alright, calm down,” Sunset said. “Could you at least tell me why it’s important to me? I’m really just, kinda beat.”
They hadn’t been close friends. Ever. Not friends, comrades, acquaintances, just barely schoolmates, sometimes classmates. In fact, Sunset had been her bully, though not just her in particular. Somehow though, at some point, they had exchanged numbers. At some point, Ditzy had been important and close enough for this to happen. Sunset had never made amends with her either.
Having rid her smart device of unnecessary data, could she start with a clean slate? Was Ditzy her next first step forward? Ditzy’s answer came.
“I think that in a way, it’s like a door you don’t know can be opened,” Ditzy put cryptically. “Something you can carry around as a reminder.”
“I don’t know Ditzy, I don’t know how much more I can take for today,” Sunset said in earnest.
“Maybe you should unwind a little then. I’ve got an idea. You’ve got a car right?” Ditzy said.
“No, actually. Our household does have a driver and a car though,” Sunset said. “If that’s okay.”
“Yeah, that’ll work just fine,” Ditzy said. “Can you pick me come and up in a bit?”
Sunset didn’t bother to argue. Today would definitely come to an end, something to look forward to no matter what. If she could spend a few minutes away from her own thoughts, that would be lovely. A blanket of dreary goo slithered off of her. She sat up a little straighter and relaxed.
“Sure thing,” Sunset said. “Let me just get ready. I’ll be there in a few.”
“Thanks!” Ditzy said. “See ya in a bit!”
The call had been dropped and Sunset got ready. She texted the driver to be ready soon while she went downstairs and put on her shoes. Out front, the car stood at the ready in the driveway, the driver holding the door.
“Hello lady Shimmer, going out for a ride?”
“Yes, though where is a bit of a surprise,” Sunset replied. “I’d like you to drive to this address. After that I don’t know.”
The driver took her phone and looked at where she’d be taking take her. She looked at Sunset with minor concern. “Miss Shimmer, are you certain this is correct? This neighbourhood is, well, to put it bluntly, dreadful. Whoever could you possibly meet there?”
“A friend.” Sunset said with a smile.
The staff of course had also been aware of everything going on with the Shimmer household. Seeing a smile thought lost, concurring with a line thought without echo, instilled hope and determination in the driver.
“Yes ma’am”. She said.
Sunset had sat down and the driver closed the door. She got into the front seat and closed her own door. She put the phone in the slot on the dashboard and off they were.
On the way over, Sunset’s actually got a little excited. It was like meeting a new person and for the first time, it had been because she’d been wanted. Because of something important. Before her redemption, nobody had wanted her around. Or even after for that matter, save for her few friends. Sunset had already gotten to know them before they’d wanted her in their clique. Even they didn’t want her around in the end.
Ditzy was different. She didn’t know Ditzy, though she was confident Ditzy knew her given she’d wanted to hang out. It was a new spark for happiness, quickly stomped out by recent memory. If she couldn’t trust her friends, how could she trust a stranger? If they ended up becoming friends, what guarantee did she have Ditzy would not let her down or break her heart?
The driver had asked if Sunset was alright, to which she’d said yes without knowing why.
A few minutes later and they’d arrived at their destination. Ditzy had been waiting right behind her front door and walked up to the sidewalk. Sunset had identified her to the driver and opened Ditzy’s side of the car from the inside. Ditzy got comfortable next to Sunset, closed the door and off they were.
“Sorry for the rushed entrance but, it’s best if we keep moving,” Ditzy said. “Don’t want to attract any unwanted attention.”
“That’s okay,” Sunset said. “We were aware.” Sunset looked towards her driver. “Ditzy, meet Mercedes, Mercedes, Ditzy.”
Mercedes didn’t turn, though the pair exchanged their greetings. Mercedes first priority was getting out of here.
“So, what did you want to tell me?” Sunset asked with a hint of excitement.
“First, I’d like to go here,” Ditzy said, handing Sunset her phone. “It’s not too far from here, I hope you don’t mind. But it’s got to do with what I have to say.”
Sunset took the phone and checked the map and directions. It was down south by a lake due west. Looked like a few houses and a restaurant, too few to even call a village. She handed the phone to her driver, who swapped it with Sunset’s and went to follow the new directions.
Something important to say, going out just the two of them, what’s there is important to it, pieces of a strange puzzle to fit.
“You know, if you were a guy,” Sunset started. “This would feel an awful lot like a date. And not the first date either.”
Ditzy blushed and her eyes widened.
“O-Oh n-no!” she stammered, “Oh no no no! It’s n-nothing of the sort!” She protested, arms out as though to push the idea away.
“What? Am I not pretty enough for you?” Sunset asked with a mock indignant tone.
Ditzy put her hands on her mouth and blushed all the harder. A few seconds passed before she’d found something to voice.
“I-I mean, it’s not that you’re not pretty...” she said quietly, going into too quiet a whisper.
Sunset put her hand on Ditzy’s shoulder. “Ditzy, I’m kidding,” Sunset said. “But that was a nice of you to say.” Sunset smiled.
Ditzy let out a small sigh and smiled. “For a second there you had my head all spinny.” Ditzy said.
The car was leaving the suburbs and had found the country roads leading south. The light outside was turning gold and orange. Shadows were growing tall in the shimmering.
“I’ve been keeping an eye out for you today,” Ditzy said. “Though you might not really remember.”
“Oh? How come?” Sunset asked. “To both things.”
“Well, something terrible has happened that has you going on a downward spiral,” Ditzy said. “And I wanted to make a difference to stop that before you hit rock bottom.”
Sunset looked grim, as she acknowledged what had happened with a sober mind.
“You’ve lost your friends and if things continue as they are… you may even lose yourself.”
“I-I’m...” Sunset started, then sighed. “It may already be too late for that.” She looked at the palms of her hands. “I’m glad at least, that I’ll never be who I was before.” She looked to Ditzy. “But I’m not sure if I even know myself anymore.”
Ditzy nodded. ”After all of this, I would be surprised if you had any faith left in others,” she said. “It will be very hard to have new friendships and let them blossom.” Ditzy’s strained herself and managed to align her golden eyes. “Have faith in friendship, even if you have no faith in others. You know it can work. You know it can be magic.”
With a frown, Sunset turned away and crossed her arms.
“You know that’s exactly why it hurts,” Ditzy said. “And it’s the same reasons it’s worthwhile. The very reasons it’s precious and dear is why you hurt.”
Ditzy fiddled with her thumbs.
“But then, you already know this,” she said. “It’s why you want them back. Eventually.”
The next few minutes were spent in the ambient quiet of the car. In the distance, their destination came into view. Sunset looked past Ditzy and saw the sunset, shimmering in the lake.
“I’ve been mulling things over and over and over again,” Sunset said. “I think, what I’ll carry to my grave, is this disbelief. This… well, knowing that I’ll never know or understand so many things about this all. What did I do to deserve this? How could they? Why?” She paused. “If we ever become friends again, what about these questions? Do I ask them? Will they even have answers? I’ve already talked to them and all I had left were more questions and doubts and disbelief. What good is an answer if I’ll never understand it?”
Ditzy had no answers, though Sunset had more to say.
“I hope to Celestia I’ll lose my anger.” She made a fist. “Because what I do know is that they actually did all these things. I had fought so hard for everything we did. Everything friendship that we built between us.”
Her breathing became heavier.
“I’m not a vengeful person. Not anymore.” She was losing her inside voice. “But I need an outlet for this. I need to settle this score. To get my justice!”
“If they had simply not stepped in or whatever, that would have been upsetting but forgivable,” Sunset said more composed. “The reason I don’t even want to think about them right now is because they did something far worse, Ditzy!”
Sunset closed her eyes and leaned back, breathing out a long breath. She’d calmed down.
“This is what I had grown tired of before you called, right before I went home,” she said. “I’m done being emotional over this. Of the few things I have left and do control, I would like my emotions to be one of them.”
Ditzy moved around uncomfortably, though she kept quiet.
“Thank you, Ditzy,” Sunset said, after a moment. “For just listening like that. It’s not something I expect you to understand.”
Ditzy relaxed a little. Her nerves had settled by a bit, but not enough for Sunset to ignore the vibe.
“Sooo, what is it you wanted to show me?” Sunset asked, trying to break the ice a little. “Or, tell me. Both, I guess.”
Ditzy swallowed. “Well, I-I’m not sure how things will turn out,” Ditzy said. “I may have had my hopes up more than I should have.” She shook her head. “No! That’s exactly why I wanted to be here. To fight and make a difference!”
Her sudden change took Sunset by surprise. It was a strange case to see someone, an almost stranger, say something like that with such conviction. That they’ll fight for some unknown cause for your wellbeing. Presumably anyway.
“What do you mean, fight?” Sunset asked. “There’s nothing left to fight for and that’s okay. If I at least let go of my friends, I can move forward. All those bad thoughts and memories will be nothing but a burden.”
“It’s also cowa-” Ditzy started quite harshly before cutting herself off. “It’s also something I’ll talk about when we get to where we need to be.”
It was hard to put up much of a fight at this point, so Sunset just let it be. She’d find out soon enough anyway, as their destination was pulling close.
They came to a stop in front of a large stark white and smooth building. The front had rows of regular windows on either far side up to a few feet away, where the outside wall turned entirely to glass. Right in front of them was a revolving glass door. The far end of the entry hall, above the first floor, had a big window serving as a skylight, letting the last fiery reds of the sunset bleed in.
Sunset and Ditzy were let out of the car by Mercedes, who drove on to find a parking spot. Ditzy walked ahead while Sunset took in the view and slowly followed suit.
Inside, at the far end, was a reception bar. To every direction there were doors, presumably leading to long corridors with a lot of junctions and branches. Closer inspection revealed a map at the centre and coloured lines and name plate directions leading through the distant doors. At the left side of the hallway some people were seated, waiting in front of another desk. Left and right of the reception bar were tables surrounded by chairs and wall mounted seats. People were enjoying warm drinks, some had plates in front of them.
Sunset came to stand between the map and the entrance and looked up. Bright ceiling lights cast a warm glow that bounced off of the pearly white surrounding her everywhere. Looking back towards the map, she found Ditzy standing in between with a melancholic smile.
“We’ll be going here,” Ditzy said, pointing at the map. It was a large room down a hallway a few turns away down the door to the right. Ditzy held out her hand for Sunset to grab hold, though she declined. When she did, Ditzy insistently grabbed Sunset’s hand and pulled her along.
“Ditzy, I know you said you were willing to fight for… something, but you don’t need to be rough with me!” Sunset said.
Ditzy let go of Sunset and turned around. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rough like that.” Ditzy stood with her arms hanging crossed across her belly, her shoes touching toes. “I just really want this to work out. I… I’m really scared of failing.”
Sunset sighed. “I’m here now. I didn’t come all this way for nothing.” Sunset smiled. “Plus, you said it’s important so… I guess I’ll trust you on that.”
That word had taken on a weird ring. Why did Sunset just put faith in someone who’s essentially no more than a stranger to her? Perhaps because Ditzy had never wronged her. Perhaps because she’d heard her out earlier. Sunset couldn’t quite tell herself. Was it really trust when there wasn’t anything on the line that Sunset was aware of? Mere curiosity and simply being away from home was quite enough for her right now after all.
Ditzy turned around again and started walking. Sunset followed suit. The sliding doors opened, letting through a bunch of people going the other way. They took a left turn at the next junction, heading into a smaller hallway. At the end was another junction. The way to the left was steeped in oranges and reds. The skylight overhead had turned a sparkling twilight.
Ditzy stood in the centre, pondering briefly before taking the way to the right again. A windowless corridor lit with ceiling lights.
Sunset’s guide had lost some of her stride and turned her head this way and that. If she knew where she was going, why look about to find the way? Still, Sunset followed Ditzy.
The end of this passage was barred with double doors. Ditzy pushed them open and entered the next intersection. There were seats all around and a desk with a bell a ticket machine and a lightless LED display. Sunset noticed the lack of even background noise of footsteps or mumbling, or even the hum of a faulty light.
In the quiet dark, Ditzy looked about, not moving an inch. Sunset stepped closer.
“Sooo….. Where to next?” she asked. No answers came forth so, she tried a bit of humour.
“Excuse me miss,” Sunset asked, having tapped Ditzy on her shoulder. “You seem to be lost.”
Ditzy turned around. “You know… I don’t know,” Ditzy said, scratching behind her ear.
“Well I certainly don’t know where we’re going,” Sunset began. “We strayed from the path I thought we were going to take a while back. Plus,” Sunset frowned. “I don’t even know where we’re headed or what we’re looking for. You never told me!”
Seeing the blonde girl flinch at her voice, Sunset tried and failed to be a little more relaxed.
“So now that you’re lost, you might as well tell me so we can get a move on,” Sunset said, throwing her arms in the air.
Ditzy looked away and took a step back. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I got lost. I’m sorry things got this bad. I never-” Ditzy sobbed. “I really wanted to give this one last chance,” she managed with a croaky voice.
Though she felt sorry for her, tiredness had overtaken Sunset and unfortunately, she’d lost all the will and power to show it. It was time to end the day.
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “Let’s just go home, okay?” Defeat resounding in her voice. Ditzy gave a sombre nod and motioned for Sunset to lead.
The way back hadn’t seemed nearly as long nor complicated as the way in. All about were directions towards the exit along the ceiling and walls. In no time at all they were back at the map in the main entrance.
Chairs had been put upside down on the tables by the reception. The waiting area was empty and dark. The ceiling light between the revolving entry door and the map was the sole light left.
Sunset took a moment to look at the map, checking their directions. She couldn’t make sense of it without knowing what to look for. Dragging behind, Ditzy came to stand beside her without saying a word. Her shoulders slumped and she couldn’t even bother to look up.
“Come on. Let’s go home,” Sunset said.
She grabbed Ditzy’s hand and together they entered the revolving door, triggering it to rotate.
“You know,” Sunset began. “As awful as today has been, I feel relieved.”
She stepped outside underneath the starry indigo sky, the light behind her casting a long shadow before her.
“I feel like I can move on somehow,” she continued. “Like things will be normal again. Just a little different.”
She stopped about halfway between Mercedes waiting in the car by the road and Ditzy, stepping out of the entrance only just now. Sunset looked behind her, noticing through the glass doors and standing below the ceiling light, five dear figures.
Suddenly, Ditzy looked up with expectation, and dread.
“Don’t get angry,” she pleaded. “But this is what I wanted to show you.”
Sunset clenched her teeth shut and tensed up every fibre in her body.
“Look closer,” Ditzy continued.
Sunset squinted and noticed her friends were in bandages and wheelchairs.
“Don’t you want to ...” she started again. “No.” Ditzy shook her head and struck a firm pose. “Sunset Shimmer, I want you to go in there and talk to them.”
Sunset’s eyebrows went up in orbit and had she had the energy, her sides would have followed.
“You’re joking, right?” Sunset asked. “This can’t be real.”
“Would you please at least look at them?” Ditzy asked. “They’re really hurt!”
“Oh sweet Celestia you’re serious.” Sunset face palmed and let her hand slide down her face. She remained quiet and simply turned around to Mercedes. “I’m done Ditzy! I’m done!”
“Sunset wait!” Ditzy yelled out. “Remember the good times!”
A sudden gust blew all around Sunset, carrying sand from the lake side. She stopped and closed her eyes. When the wind fell still she opened up her eyes. Mercedes was gone and in her place she saw herself sitting with her friends one summer afternoon enjoying themselves at an ice cream parlour. She was sat between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, across from Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Their kind smiles kindling the magic inside of her, as was Rainbow Dash’s brash embrace.
Sunset turned on the spot with a sweeping motion. Ditzy was a dead girl.
“All I remember now is how they abandoned me!” Sunset marched towards Ditzy, shadowy silhouettes of students forming behind and around her. She stopped and the students marched on towards Ditzy. The crowd was abuzz with angry ranting and calling names. Some nudged her and ruined her belongings. Ditzy put up her defences but knew it would never be enough.
“How I pleaded for help. I remember feeling ridiculous thinking about how I was actually trying to convince people who were supposed to be my friends!” Sunset violently swung her arm through the ghastly figures, clearing them away. She took a few steps closer, punching her index finger into Ditzy’s chest, punctuating her speech. ”You don’t ever need to do that!”
Ditzy frowned. “I’m not denying that! But you must know!” Ditzy stepped backwards a few paces, moving between Applejack and Rarity, who stood between the rest. Rarity’s hand was in bandages. Applejack covered her belly. “You must know you’ve hurt them too! You must know they’re hurting!”
A bit behind the line-up, Sunset saw naught but her classmates tormenting her. Between herself and them, she saw the endless nights of trying to cry herself to sleep, her injuries denying her all comfortable positions.
Sunset stepped back so she could see all of them. Everyone looked so concerned and saddened. They weren’t hurt. They were merely injured. No hospital could fix a heartache like a burn or a broken bone.
“They’re not my friends.” She crossed her arms. “Not anymore.”
“But you love them!” Ditzy said. “Isn’t that worth fighting for?”
Sunset could still feel the ache on her tailbone when she got shoved to the floor by a guy who’s secret had just been revealed. She didn’t even know him or what the secret was. All she knew was that she couldn’t sit or walk right for the next week or two.
She still smelt the smoke of the cigarette that was put out on the vest her mother had gotten for her birthday. That was no coincidence either, since she had told her friends loudly enough for others to hear how much she treasured it for being so perfect. She had so proudly declared her love for her mother, smiling bright.
Every remark, no matter how small and passive aggressive or hammy and vulgar still rung between her ears. “Loser”, “Liar”, “Devil girl”, “Demon”, or calls for her to “go home”, back to Equestria.
Her locker had been the most recognizable in the whole school for weeks on end. Every day she’d see a new message written on it or carved into it. The lovely fan mail that got pushed through the slits was worth the read as well.
“All that I remember now!” Sunset began, putting her arms out in front of her. “Is day after day.” She slowly raised her hands. “Night after night.”
Behind Ditzy and all around her, groups of students started pitching food, shouting names, whispering behind her back and shoving her.
“All I remember now!” Sunset repeated.
Her friends surrounded Ditzy, pushing her between the five of them until she tripped and fell. Rainbow Dash put her foot on her arms. Pinkie Pie started nudging her. Fluttershy pulled her hair.
“You don’t even know, Ditzy!”
Ditzy pulled her arms away from her face and looked to Sunset. Sunset saw her lips moving and knew what she was saying. Her mobbing friends vanished. Ditzy got up and stepped closer.
“That never happened!” Ditzy said. “Your friends never even touched you!”
“They might as well!” Sunset yelled. “Always got my back! Honest Applejack! None of them stepped in! Everybody bullied me! No punch could ever hurt as much as they’ve hurt me!”
“They still love you!” Ditzy finally yelled back. “You don’t know how sorry they are, even though they’ve told you over and over again!” She stomped her foot. “Instead, you only hurt them back!”
“They deserved it!” Sunset said. “Be glad I’m not my old self anymore!”
Ditzy took a step back and frowned.
From behind her, and then from all around her, Sunset felt one embrace after another and before she knew it, her friends had embraced her into a group hug.
“Please come back to us Sunset!” Pinkie Pie begged.
“Please forgive us,” Rarity pleaded.
“We need you!” Rainbow Dash called out.
“We miss our friend, please come back,” Applejack asked.
“We miss you, Sunset. Life just isn’t the same without you,” Fluttershy cried.
Ditzy stepped forward and put her arms on Sunset’s shoulders. Sunset gave her a startled look.
“Your friends still love you so, Sunset,” she said. “And you love them too. Please give them another chance. Love can’t be wrong. I’m here struggling for it, in its name. You have to fight for it. It’s the only way.”
“Please fight!” sounded every voice around her.
Sunset shrugged hard and the hug came undone. She ducked and violently pushed herself out of the bunch, knocking over Fluttershy and Rarity.
“Hell thy name is friendship!” Sunset yelled at Ditzy. “And you’re paving a damned fine road towards it with your ‘struggles’, as you say,” she said, stomping towards Ditzy. “You want a fight?” Sunset spun around. “You all want a fight? Fine!”
Ditzy started running towards the building, trying to find a place to hide. Sunset didn’t give chase and instead turned to her friends. She drew in closer, her fist smacking her palm with every step. Her gaze turned to every single one of them. To Fluttershy, who would get the heaviest petting of her life. To Pinkie Pie, who would lose the remainder of her teeth. To Rarity, who would get a generous beating. To Rainbow Dash, who’s back she would most definitely have. And finally to Applejack, who honestly deserved it the most.
“Well?!” Sunset called out. “Who’s first?”
All but Fluttershy backed away from Sunset. She put her one good hand up for defence but to no avail. Sunset put her hand on her head and pushed her over backwards.
“Next!” Sunset called again.
Pinkie Pie looked among the others and decided to come forth, despite their protests. She extended both arms and smiled a toothless smile. Sunset grabbed her hands and turned the wrists, forcing Pinkie to kneel. Sunset pushed her to the ground with a foot to the chest.
Sunset winked her finger at Rarity, who hid behind Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Her voice had kept ringing in Sunset’s head, ringing that she’d had doubts Sunset’s innocence at best and certainties about her guilt at worst. She clenched her hands and arms around her head, bowing slightly and gritting her teeth. A glare to kill a thousand men struck Rarity when she recovered.
The closer Sunset drew, the more the distance among her remaining friends grew. She soon stood towering over Rarity.
“You really had lost all faith in me, hadn’t you?” Sunset asked rhetorically. Rarity looked away in shame, revealing all the admission of guilt Sunset needed, really. Without hesitation, Sunset slapped Rarity across the face hard enough to make her trip and fall. Rarity didn’t look back, though her cheek had a nice bright red handprint on it.
Two to go. Sunset looked to both her former friends, who’d kept their distance.
“Great work Rainbow Dash,” she snarked. “You sure showed everyone who’s backs you actually have!” she said, motioning around her to her fallen comrades.
“You won’t get away with that!” Dash called out. “Nobody hurts my friends like that!”
With an unmatched rush she dashed towards Sunset, who stood by well prepared. She deflected Dash’s first straight punch by her side, using the momentum to spin in place and land a punch square in Rainbow Dash’s side.
Not easily tamed, Dash threw in a spinning kick, hitting Sunset’s shoulder.
“Finally, someone willing to actually put up a fight!” Sunset mocked her.
“I’m not fighting for you, I’m fighting for them!” Dash said, throwing another punch.
Sunset dodged and kicked Dash in the knee, sending her to the ground. She quickly scrambled to her hands and knees.
“I know,” Sunset said. “That’s exactly what makes this so easy,” she smirked. She kicked Dash in the same side she’d punched before, rolling her over. Dash kept rolling to create some distance, futilely so as another kick hit her. After a third such kick, Sunset let her crouch before her with her hands on her hurt side. Dash didn’t even try and get back up.
Sunset turned to the last one standing. The one to provide a final deliverance between Sunset and her friends when she was hospitalized. Who better to relay such a harsh truth?
Applejack put up her defences and readied herself as soon as she saw Sunset approach her.
”Haven’t ya done enough?” Applejack said.
Sunset started cackling, almost slipping into a full bout of maniacal laughter.
“That’s rich, coming from you of all people,” she said in disbelief. “It’s you who’s not done enough! It’s all of you! And when you did something, it was too much!” As if what had happened had been visited upon some hapless third party, she followed up coyly, “That’s just too much.”
Applejack had the palms of her hands facing Sunset, ready for her. The reality of having to fight someone she loved sunk in, a reality revealing itself on AJ’s face. “Ah know it may not mean much anymore but for what it’s worth...”
Sunset threw a simple right punch. Applejack caught it, though Sunset hadn’t anticipated her to reel her in and pull her hand down and behind AJ, pushing them up against each other. With her free arm, Applejack pulled Sunset into a loving embrace.
“Ah still love you,” Applejack cooed. “And that will never change.”
With a shove, Applejack was thrown to the ground. “Maybe I haven’t made this crystal clear yet, so get this through your thick skull,” Sunset said, narrowing her eyes. “We’re through. We’re done! We’re DONE! Get it? We! Are! Done!”
She bolded her fists. Applejack got up.
“No more!”
Truth of her undying love shone in the country girl’s eyes. No words were necessary. Applejack took it all as punches punctuated Sunset’s next few words.
“Stop! Looking! At! Me! Like! That!” Sunset yelled. AJ stood her ground. “I...” Sunset looked at her friend, her friend, bleeding from the lips. ”I. Hate. You! I hate you! I hate you!” Every bout preceding another blow.
Both girls stood trembling. Applejack lost and found her footing briefly. She felt her heartbeat in her blackened eyes. Sunset was catching her breath and with her arms stretched, finding support on her knees.
A blunt pain forced Sunset forward into Applejack, sending them both to the ground. Before she knew it, Sunset’s arms were on her back, held in a lock by Ditzy. Her face buried in AJ’s chest.
“That’s enough!” Ditzy yelled. “Will you stop and listen to yourself?!”
Sunset didn’t need to turn around to figure out Ditzy’s expression. The breaks and cracks in her voice made it all too clear. Sunset turned her head so she could breathe at least.
“They made me into this Ditzy! And so did you! All of you! You can all go to Tartarus!” Tears were running down her face.
Ditzy pulled Sunset’s arm further into the lock, making her flinch.
“They- We may-” Ditzy began. ”We have made you miserable but you became violent all on your own! Everyone stopped being physical. Times are harsh for sure, but peaceful nonetheless.”
“But they-”
“And out of everyone to hate you chose to hate your friends?!”
Sunset bucked to try and get Ditzy off her back, succeeding on the second try.
“They’re not my friends Ditzy!”
“Then say it,” Ditzy dared Sunset. “Say it again.”
“Say what?” Sunset asked.
“Say that you hate them,” she continued. “And listen to yourself.”
Sunset looked around and saw her fallen comrades. In her mind she conjured up those few simple words to speak. That friendship breaking spell, or so she had thought. What friendship? What friendship is there left to break?
They broke first! They broke up our friendship! They broke me, along with everybody else! Outward, Sunset remained perfectly quiet, brows furrowing ever deeper. Screw them! Screw them all! How could I ever love anyone who’s done what they did?
“You know what?” Sunset said. Ditzy raised a finger, attending Sunset to listen.
“I hate you, Applejack,” Sunset said, hesitation apparent on the beat. She swallowed.
The sunset had long since drowned in the water. Twilight had given way to the stars and a dark new moon, appearing like hole crossing the veil of the night. The lights in the building had died out a while ago. They’d all but grown accustomed to the darkness.
Sunset shook her head and donned a scowl. She looked to Ditzy before looking back to Applejack.
“Look at me Applejack!” she said in her outdoor voice. Applejack looked up from leaning over to steady herself, though she didn’t move to stand up straight.
“I. Hate. You.” Sunset said. “I hate you for what you’ve done.” Sunset put her arm out and turned a full circle. “All of you! I hate you all!” She stomped her foot.
Around her, bright pairs of light appeared some few feet a distance away, standing both low and tall, narrow and wide. All of them hungry for Sunset and drawing closer. Vicious snarls echoed from all directions.
With a yell she felt would get her eaten by a beast, she bellowed her final words, “You’re all dead to me!”
Her footing slipped with jerks before the earth beneath gave way completely.
A few seconds later, Sunset finally woke up with a start and drenched in a cold sweat.
To her left, she heard the familiar creaking of her bedroom door, revealing Twilight standing below the faint hallway light. Sunset’s eyes were like dinner plates with a serving of but a single bead of caviar. Gingerly, Twilight stepped inside without a sound, closing the door behind her.
She came to sit down by her side. Sunset turned to face her without a hint of recognition or even the faintest change in her expression. Twilight got in close for a hug. Sunset didn’t resist. It was brief: a means to simply communicate an openness to hear her dreadful tale.
Twilight scooted over to the wall and sat up against it, still wrapped snugly in her sleeping bag. She invited Sunset to come sit with her. Their friends were sleeping soundly nearby, though not close enough to hear some quiet back and forth.
“Bad dream?” Twilight asked in a whisper. Sunset nodded. “Want to talk about it?”
Tears sprung up in Sunset’s eyes. She didn’t even bother to look away. The knot in her throat made her voice croaky when she tried speaking up. Not wanting to wake her friends, she quietly examined the room before finding her whisper.
“It… It was horrible Twilight!” she started. “We all got into a fight and well...”
“How bad was it?”
Sunset shook her head. “Poor Applejack…,” she murmured. She looked to her blonde friend, sound asleep, then turned back to Twilight. “I beat her up really bad.”
“What? How?” Twilight asked astonished. “Why?”
A flash of bright light flooded the room. Through the blinding blots, the two noticed Fluttershy standing by the light switch near the door. Quiet groans and grunts filled the room not long after. Rarity pulled down her sleeping bag just enough to peek at the clock, noting it wasn’t even early dawn yet.
“Fluttershy dear, why on earth would you turn on the light at this ungodly hour,” Rarity said disgruntled. “Do you have any idea how many beauty sleeps it will take to undo this?” She looked towards her yellow friend, who meekly pointed across the room. The others had also poked their heads out from their sleeping bags, following the commotion. They all turned to Twilight and Sunset.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake everyone,” Fluttershy started. “Well, I actually did. I heard Twilight and Sunset and it sounded awful and when Sunset said she’d beat up Applejack-”
“What?!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack called out.
“Guys!” Twilight said a little too loud for the ungodly hour. “Calm down.”
Sunset couldn’t stop staring at AJ, swallowing her sobs.
“What do you mean she beat up Applejack?!” Dash said much too loud. “There’s no way you cou-”
Pinkie Pie put her hand on Rainbow Dash’s mouth and shook her head. RD piped down and took in her surroundings.
“S-She,” Sunset started. ”She let me.” Sunset looked like she was about to throw up.
“But why would you even … ” Twilight started. She paused to find the right words. “Sunset, why were we fighting?”
Sunset shook her head. “We weren’t fighting, Twilight. It was between me and the others.” She looked across her party, each holding an expression different from the next.
“What did we do?” Dash asked, her voice drenched in indignancy. All the rest shot her a scornful look. Sunset held her fist up to her mouth, slightly biting her index finger, muttering something.
“I’m sorry?” Twilight said.
Sunset shook her head slightly, quietly, hands on her head and knees huddled up to her face.
Fluttershy came to sit closer to Sunset, placing her hand on Sunset’s knee. “We’re here for you Sunset. It’s okay, you’re safe.”
Sunset peeked up, looking around the room again.
“We’re your friends Sunset,” Fluttershy continued. “Can you tell us what happened?”
Sunset stretched her legs out on the ground and put her hands in her lap, her twirling thumbs seemingly having captivated all of her attention. She nodded and sighed.
“It’s… It’s just, uhm...”
“It’s okay, Sunset,” Twilight said. “Take your time.”
Over the few minutes that followed, Sunset recounted the events of her dreams to the best that she could still recall them. Her friends sat awestruck, listening to the terrible tale.
“... I was all alone, left with nothing but hatred of all of you.”
By this point, none had managed to contain themselves save for Applejack. Pinkie Pie had the saddest frown, one not for seeing her friend so hurt, but for her own part in that causing that suffering.
“All of you had left me,” Sunset said, choking back tears with sobs. “You hurt me when I needed you the most.” She shook her head to perish the thought. “But worst of all, I wasn’t strong enough to keep it together. Instead of trying to fix things....” Sunset looked at Applejack with a remorse AJ had not ever seen, then to the others, one by one. I hurt you back! Thoughts that could not pass her lips.
Slowly, gingerly, Twilight embraced Sunset, offering a shoulder to her broken friend. Sunset wept, letting all the sorrow flow free. Let it move her into the safety and warmth of her friends embrace. The others crawled closer, embracing her one by one until the group hug was complete.
After a little while, Sunset’s sobbing had quieted down one last time. She was leaning back against Twilights shoulder and arm. All around her were her smiling friends, their eyes betraying the honest concern.
“So… You could totally handle me and AJ huh?” Rainbow Dash asked jokingly.
“That’s a mighty big claim if Ah ever heard one,” Applejack winked.
Sunset hid a grimace with a smile. “Yeah, you two were complete ragdolls. Such pushovers.” She winked, knowing the bitter truth.
Applejack gently pet Sunset’s head. “Good thing we’re all still together.”
Fluttershy nodded. “I always miss you guys waking up after a bad dream, so I’m glad I can be here for you.”
Sunset grabbed Fluttershy’s hand and held it gratefully.
“Who’d like to go to the mall tomorrow, and then spend the night at my place?” Rarity asked. “After all this, I’d like to reassure Sunset that nothing will ever break us apart.”
“What’s that got to do with the mall?” AJ Asked.
“I need a few last trinkets for a surprise,” Rarity said. “You’ll see at the sleepover.” She winked. Applejack smiled.
“Why wait until tomorrow when we can make her smile right now?!” Pinkie Pie said, engaging her tickle monster mode.
“Ah! No! Pinkie Pie s-s-stohohop!” Sunset burst out into a bout of laughter, especially when some others joined in with Pinkie Pie. Before long, the ticklishness wore off.
“Ah hah, I have to admit Pinkie, that was a good laugh,” Sunset admitted with a blush, drying her eyes. “Thank you.”
“‘S What I do,” Pinkie said with pride.
Sunset looked among her group of friends and finally, everyone was smiling in genuine.
“Thank you all, for being my friends,” Sunset said. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“Don’t worry Sunset,” Rainbow Dash said. “We’ll always have your ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-”
Rainbow Dash’s voice had taken on an almost robotic tone, sounding ever more like a buzzer than her actual voice. It was at that point that Sunset realized she was dreaming. The very next moment, reality collapsed around her. She opened her eyes and, in the dark, stared at her ceiling. The sun rose in her window and then it dawned on her.
She was in hell.
Author's Note
At long last, Chapter 8 is here!
Leave any comments for my friend FreeHomeBrew as he is the new writer for the story.
Thank you guys!
Chapter 8 [Edited]
Apologies Aren’t Always Enough
Chapter 8
Written by FreeHomeBrew
Edited by FreeHomeBrew
Reviewed by Sadistic Fluttershy
Chapters 1-6 written by Sadistic Fluttershy
The gates had been closed when Sunset arrived at school that morning. She’d come so early that not even the groundskeeping staff had been present yet, though they wouldn’t be long.
When the first groundskeeper arrived, she’d asked if she could get in sooner rather than later since there were a few things she wanted to do after having been absent for so long. Though it wasn’t exactly allowed, she’d gotten her exception and went in.
In her absence, she had thought much about school and how things would change. Coming to school just after sunrise literally showed everything in a whole new light. Every empty hallway that echoed her timid footsteps was basking in golden rays, dancing to the melody the brisk morning breeze was playing in the trees; a rejuvenating sight, instilling in her a great sense of optimism. This was her time to seize the things that had newly become important to her, she knew. She saw herself standing exactly where she was, on her own, confident in her abilities to overcome whatever she would face, come what may.
For the first time in a long while, she managed to smile. Her future was hers for the taking.
She walked down the hallway and turned the corner at the end, walking towards the lockers. She opened hers and found the book Twilight had left her on the top shelf. She didn’t notice anything remarkable about it, but presumed it would be full of concerned messages. This too would start anew.
She undid the ribbon on her hand, exchanged it for the book and locked the locker. She found a nice secluded spot in the warmth of the sunrise and sat down. Eager to tell Twilight about what decisions she’d made, she paged through the book, back to front, and found the next empty page to write on.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I hope you’ve been well. I hope you’ve not been too concerned since our last correspondence. I’ve been recovering from a really bad situation. I guess I still am, and probably will be for some time to come, but at the moment I’m feeling pretty great.
I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch for so long but I’ve been in the hospital. I’ve had a lot on my mind. That’s part of the bad situation I’ve been through. Knowing you I’m sure you’ll be too curious to let this go, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. If you want, you’re welcome to stop by anytime. Actually, you know what? I wouldn’t mind returning to Equestria for a visit. We’ll come to that later.
What I wanted to tell you is that I have made some decisions of which I would like to inform you, as a friend. Because of the things that have happened recently, I want to make some changes.
First, I’m going to really focus on my studies to both catch up due to my time spent in the hospital and simply to improve. If I can be a B student I can definitely be an A student. I remember acing classes in Equestria, so I’m sure I can do it here.
Second, over the summer, I’m planning to spend some time away from this place and just pick up a summer job. Something manual and really physical, or maybe volunteering at events and such. We’ll see. I just want a break for a while and rebuild myself.
I can hear you now, ‘But what about your friends?’ Well, you see, that’s the third thing.
After having thought about this for days, thinking really hard and facing things I did not want to face, after plenty of restless nights, I’ve decided to break up with them. At least for now.”
Sunset’s breathing got heavier as she recalled having cried night upon night facing this decision. In the end, it had been a harsh matter of facing reality, however brutal. It was either to accept reality for what it was or reject it and live in a fantasy. Sunset swallowed the knot in her throat and continued.
i]”I want things to be like they used to be. I wish I could go back but I’ve come to realize that in this world, that is impossible.
Everything in this world is permanent, and that is something that hit me really really hard. There is no turning back. It is literally not possible. Imagine not having time travel spells, or even teleportation. See my predicament? Even when you break a vase, you can’t just restore it magically. You’ll have to manually pick up the pieces one by one, sort them out, glue all the little shards together perfectly, and even then you’ll forever be reminded of having broken the thing. No matter how precious it was, how dear you held it, you can never make it like it used to be.
The only way to move is forward, so that’s where I’ll go. I’ve decided that my part in restoring our friendship is to make sure we have time. I’m not the only one who got hurt, and I’m not the most important one either, depending on who you ask.
To be honest, it feels good to have made these decisions, because now I’ve got somewhere to go. I know how to make life worth living again. Just knowing that makes me happy. I know I’ve set realistic goals. Things I can achieve if I push myself. I’m absolutely positive.
I just can’t be with my friends right now.”
Sunset took a deep breath. She had done so well thus far. She had convinced herself that she was beyond the difficult part of moving on. That it would no longer hurt as bad as it did. She had hoped the healing would begin today.
”It hurts me just to say that, just to think about it. That is precisely why I need some time for myself.”
She felt her heart pick up an anxious beat when the realization that she would see her friends again finally sunk in. Sure, she had factually known this from the start, but only now actually realizing that it would only be hours, if not mere minutes, until she’d face them again in public made her queasy.
She had said all she’d wanted to say to them through Applejack yesterday. Surely they’d know she wouldn’t make much contact if any. She tried her best to put it off and face them when she eventually would.
Back to the letter. She reread the last bit she wrote and continued where she’d left off.
”If you need me, or just want to talk to me, you know where to find me. I’d love to come and visit Equestria and Canterlot after everything that’s happened. But I’m not a quitter, so I won’t give up on these friendships of mine, even if they’re broken right now.
I’d like to hear your thoughts in person, rather than just reading them in this book. Just let me know when and where and we’ll see where we’ll go from there.
Twilight, hold on to that pen. Save your thoughts for when we speak. Put them on paper if you must, just make sure it’s not this paper. I know you’re eager to write even as you read this.
I’ll check this book again in a few hours during lunch break. Should be in about four and a half hours.
Hope to see you soon,
Sunset Shimmer.”
She put her pen away and closed the book. She held it close, thinking of Twilight. If anyone knew what to do it would be her.
Sunset had set her mind on doing things her way, going about it alone for the most part. She’s always been a sturdy loner, able to deal with whatever comes her way on her own. That however, was also what had lead to her downfall. Twilight had saved her then. Sunset wanted to do her proud and save herself and her friendships on her own this time. At the back of her mind, she felt the gnaw of her past chipping away at her confidence.
Twilight was someone she could have been, in a way. She had had those same opportunities but persistently declined them. Stubborn as she was she had her own way of learning and her own interests that didn’t always align with those of her mentors. Had she been sent to Ponyville, who knows who she might’ve become. Then again, she might’ve been the one to save Twilight had that mare ended up in this world in her stead.
Sunset looked down the hall, left and right, to make sure she was alone. She put her hand under her shirt and on her skin. Slowly, she felt up her belly, up to her chest. She ran her fingers up to and across her scars. They didn’t hurt, but she did feel the bumps and unevenness. No doubt they’d be clearly visible. She wasn’t too bothered about how it looked, but more about how, even if she could forget this all ever happened, these scars would forever remind her that it had.
She wasn’t sure whether or not to show Twilight. No doubt there would come that time she would find out what has happened to her. Would she panic? Would she worry? At least it would be up to her own discretion. Maybe the scars would be hidden if she were to visit Twilight in Equestria. She’d lose her clothing, sure, but at least she’d have fur.
All in due time, Sunset. She thought to calm herself.
Sunset sat upright, put the book in her backpack – in case Twilight would respond today – and left for her new class.
* * *
Sunset decided to check in with her new homeroom teacher, miss Soft Spot, who was mostly informed about the things that had happened at school surrounding the anon-a-miss incident. The teacher had ushered in the students, quite a few of whom had bullied Sunset.
Sunset stood in the hallway, looking into the classroom through the open door. Inside she noticed streamers, balloons, flags and over the whiteboard at the front, a banner welcoming Sunset back to school, reading Welcome back Sunset Shimmer! in cheerful writing.
She clenched her fists and turned her attention to the students. Only a few of the students looked her way, another few tried hard not to. All the looks were of shame, pity and concern. Despite the classroom decorations, most of the students seemed completely oblivious to her presence, as though nothing had happened. Sunset took it all in for a moment before swiftly turning to miss Soft Spot.
Soft Spot smiled at Sunset, trying her best to remain welcoming to her new student. She’d never seen anyone frown like that. It were times like these she wondered if her hope should be this unmoving.
“Will you be joining us, Sunset?” She asked. Sunset shook her head and remained quiet. “We’d very much appreciate your company...”
“I’m not going in there,” Sunset said. “Who would! It’s! I...” She looked away, having noticed she’d raised her voice. “I’m NOT going in there!” She said flabbergasted.
Soft Spot sighed, her welcome back party crushed. She solemnly closed the classroom door from the outside and got Sunset seated in the small office area between classrooms. She sat Sunset down at a desk and went to tend to her homeroom. Sunset got out a pen and paper, impatiently waiting for Soft Spot to return.
Sunset had known Miss Spot to carry her heart on her sleeve and to have an excessive amount of compassion and care. Always willing to go that extra mile even at her own expense, though never exceeding her professional capacities. One might say she was well-grounded if it hadn’t been for her naive hope even when faced with a situation that had none. She can tell you exactly what’s going on in almost every situation, yet have thoughts, dreams and decisions based on outcomes that are either very unlikely or extremely difficult to achieve.
Sunset had seen the similarities between herself and this teacher, in how she’d stood up against the Diamond Dog Brothers and Diamond Tiara for the CMC, who’d wronged her the most out of everyone involved. However, where this teacher was very open and personal, Sunset was very distant and closed. More cunning, composed and calculating.
The office door opened and Soft Spot entered quietly. Having given Sunset a few moments to calm down, she was disappointed to find that she had been brooding instead. Though the situation was unfortunate, it had also been foreseen. It was a situation Soft Spot had allowed to talk to her new student in private.
When she asked why Sunset didn’t want to join in today, Sunset offered to “write her a Celestia damned book!” An answer for which Sunset had immediately apologized.
Soft Spot reminded Sunset that this was her homeroom and that by next week, she’d like all her students to attend in the classroom. She promised Sunset to try her best to make things work again.
The conversation moved on to Sunset’s current situations and where she was headed, defusing the momentary anger. Sunset had told her the same thing she’d told Twilight. Part of her had hoped Soft Spot would ask her how she felt about this mess to just have a place to vent it all, but for some reason she hadn’t. Sunset was certain Soft Spot had noticed her flinching and bottling up having to think she’d lost her friends again.
The conversation came to a conclusion and she’d given Sunset the same assignment as the rest of the class. Sunset could leave earlier when she’d finished it.
The next few classes until lunch break Sunset Shimmer had spent sitting in the front row and just focussing on the lessons being taught. There hadn’t been any group assignments. The teachers hadn’t been awkward about anything despite knowing what had happened and how things had been. They’d asked her how she was doing and appreciated having a new student in their class.
Some teachers apologized for having thought she was anon-a-miss, having had their own secrets exposed during the incident. They’d all been sincere. Sunset had accepted their apologies and told them not to worry, though in the back of her mind she was already composing a plan to burn down the school with everyone still locked inside.
Every time she’d gotten a “sorry” for all the misery she’d been put through she noticed it became harder and harder not to get angry. To just be friendly with all those terrible people who had either partaken in or had allowed for everything that’s happened. How could she? When she was in the hospital she’d not gotten a single card, visit or phone call. Not one! Was her anger not justified? If there would be one time she would allow herself to be angry, would now not be the time? If she’d keep her calm through all of this, she’d never be angry ever again. She couldn’t imagine anything worse happening for the life of her.
She recalled then, something worse had already happened, and her friends had saved her from it. She didn’t want to be upset. To let this anger in and let it fester. To let it become something rotten she would inevitably let loose on someone who she had already decided did not deserve it.
This is why she had cleared some time to heal. This is where she had created the space to vanquish this beast. Never again did she want her demons to take her back. However, she still felt the way she felt. This was the undeniable truth. The only thing she could do was let it all out in her own ways. If she were to feel like this no matter what, she would try her best to be miserable on her terms and on her schedule.
She had to stay in control. As she would come to find however, she would become but a paper windvane commanding a storm to turn or halt.
* * *
Lunch break had come around and Sunset had found herself a secluded bench in a park outside of school property. She’d lost her appetite before she stepped outside, but the walk in the fresh air had brought it back in full vigor. Usually the maid would make her lunch, but this morning her mother had already made her something special. It had really lightened her mood, and she had been smiling all the way.
After she’d finished, she got the book out of her bag to see if Twilight had left her any messages. The book wasn’t glowing. Well, it has only been a few hours. I’m sure being a princess is taking up a lot of her time, Sunset thought to herself.
She hadn’t wanted to see her older messages since before she made her latest entry. In fact, she had wanted to not see them. Yet, the question of how good of a friend Twilight had been through all of this was never far away. Should she not be more concerned for her friends in this world? Surely a princess would have a day off once in awhile to just leave a message?
Right then, the book began to glow. Sunset eagerly opened it to the next empty page, after her latest entry. Letters formed where Twilight wrote on her end of the mirror.
“Dear Sunset Shimmer,
It’s nice to see a friend know you so well as you know me. I was indeed very worried and picked up the pen as soon as I could. Then I had to set it down again, tend to Equestria and wait until now to write you back.
I’m happy to hear from you and that you’ve found yourself a stable place from which to move forward, even it is between a rock and a hard place. The best thing about rock bottom is that the only way to go is up, right?”
Sunset sighed. Twilight’s attempts at humour really fell flat, not appealing to her sensibilities at all. She might’ve thought of it as mocking had they not been friends. She was grateful for the supportive message though.
“From what you’ve told me, I can tell something has gone terribly wrong. I don’t know what has happened but I really want to talk about it in person. Or pony, as per your suggestion.”
For some reason, it took a few minutes for the next words to appear. It could’ve been anything really. Was Celestia bothering her? Was she pondering about something super important to put there? Did Spike sneeze? The words continued.
“You know what? You can stay the weekend if you like. You’re always welcome of course, to stay as long as you like, but this weekend we can easily accommodate.”
Must’ve been talking to Spike. Strange, how Twilight of all people hadn’t made or confirmed these arrangements before deciding to write the letter.
“I’m getting excited just thinking about it! A sleepover! With a scholar from another world! You were a scholar here after all, no doubt you’ve learned a lot about your new world, right? I ~”
The words ended in an ugly curve swirling and bumping into the inner seam of the book.
“We’ll get to that when you get here.”
The pause that followed next took long enough for Sunset to close the book, only to open it right before putting it away. It had started glowing again.
“I’m excited that I get to see you again, not to mention having you visit Equestria. However, it won’t all be fun and games.
I know you’ve been hurt. A lot. I’ve been there myself. I too started out as the lone scholar, content with life as I knew it. Then my friends made it infinitely better. I cannot possibly tell you how much they’ve enriched my life, for I know not the words. I don’t need to, because from your experience you already know the things I want to tell you.”
Sunset put a hand over her chest. Twilight was right, probably more than she knew.
“Then, one day, everything we had built together had been ripped away from me. From us. My friends hated me and even each other. They had turned against everything they stood for. Lying Applejack, cruel Fluttershy, selfish Rarity, spiteful Pinkie Pie, treacherous Rainbow Dash. I had given up on them. I retreated into solitude. So too had I turned against my element.
My past had taught me that I had always been the one I could always rely on, besides of course my family and princess Celestia. But with them I shared no friendship like I did with those five.
I knew that, alone, I was safe. Alone, I could heal. Alone, I could move on. That’s what I thought.”
Sunset felt as if her heart was beating beyond the gate, there in Equestria. These words had struck all the chords that she had been playing for the recent past. Just get away from where it hurt, be it at home, in the streets, in school, or even in this human world altogether. Find a place to rest and heal. She read on.
”But I was wrong. When I came back to my house, I started packing to get away from Ponyville, feeling my mission here was over. I had failed. I had failed everyone. My friends, myself and worst of all, Celestia. I had hit rock bottom.”
There was a pause. Where Twilight had written, a few small colorless splotches appeared. The words continued shortly.
”All day, Spike had been sneezing up letters I had sent to Celestia. They were the friendship reports I had been sending to Celestia ever since I had arrived in Ponyville. I started reading them.
Poor Spike, the letters just wouldn’t end. Soon I found myself literally buried in a pile of my most treasured memories. One by one, I felt as though they brought me back to life. I felt a spark inside me like I did that very first time. A spark that only the Magic of Friendship could ignite. It is Magic that is in itself magical, in all the ways it manifests. It is so incredibly powerful and it can be blunt and obvious like the rainbows, yet also be subtle and moving just like that little spark. But I digress.
Had it not been for those memories, who knows what might have happened. To be honest, it still hurts just thinking about it.
I want to say that in that moment, when my faith had been restored, I had decided to fight for our friendship, but the word “decided” is not what it felt like. Does a fish “decide” to swim? Does a bird “decide” to fly? Because that was how I had “decided” to restore our friendship. I did so one friend at a time, and thus the group gradually came back together.
I would have lost them forever had I given up.
I don’t know what happened with you, or how bad it was. Just know that things are not as hopeless as they may seem. The fact that we’re writing each other about this and that everyone is upset about it is a good sign.
Until we meet up this weekend, look into your heart and see all the happy memories of them that you’ve treasured there. Know that times have been great together. You’ve been through thick and thin with these girls. As you have done before, so too will you do again once all of this is in our past. You were right in knowing this would not happen overnight. It will take some time, and it should. I suppose I was lucky that the cause of my friendship problem had been a magical one instead of being entirely worldly.
Things will be right again, Sunset. I hope you’ve also made that clear to your friends. Hope is a really powerful thing. It lends everyone time and helps keep things from going off the deep end.
I hope I’ve not written too much of what you would want to hear in person instead of writing. I’d like to think I haven’t.
There is one more thing I’d like to leave with you. I want you to know that it hurts not because you hate them.
It hurts because you love them.”
Whatever Twilight would write after those words, Sunset would read in full once she’d reopen the book. Her hands were wet from wiping away the unending tears. She tried desperately to not let out any audible sobs, but to no avail. For the next few minutes, she hoped to not be found.
* * *
Lunchtime was almost over when Sunset tried to sneak back into the school, wanting to go unnoticed. Her eyes were still red from earlier and she wanted to freshen up before going into her next class.
The ground floor was empty save for a few cliques of students known to be tardy more often than not, so Sunset picked up the pace a little. She got into a restroom, splashed her face some and hurried to her next class. She got a few looks when she rushed in as the last student to enter the classroom, out of breath no less, but she got no comments.
During class, Sunset realized she hadn’t yet seen any of her friends today. True, she had actively tried to avoid them, but she’d also expected to at least catch a glimpse of them. Maybe in a reflection, or just turning a corner. Maybe overhear them somewhere. Anything.
That same queasiness from earlier had returned, as she grew more and more anxious the later the hour grew. Did she even want to bump into them just moving between classes? She had intentionally avoided them thus far, would she end up regretting having not seen them? Would they say hi? Would they stay quiet? How would they even react?
All sorts of scenarios started playing through her head, as her mind took her places she did not want to go. Her hands grew sweaty at the thought of ending up in a dense crowd, being pushed up against any of her friends. “Sunset?” Maybe she’d just leave the class last, wait for the hallways to be clear. “Sunset?” Then again, even an open encounter like that would keep everyone on edge. Would Rainbow Dash even show up today? And what of the others?
“Sunset?” The teacher called out. Sunset turned to face the teacher's desk, still a little out of it.
“Sunset? Are you alright?”
Sunset looked around the classroom and noticed almost everyone was quietly staring at her, brows furrowed in concern or annoyance. She turned to the teacher.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.”
The teacher put up a fake smile and proceeded with the class. She noticed Sunset hadn’t written down anything despite the assignments on the board, affirming that her worries were not misplaced.
“How about an exercise, Sunset? I heard you’ve been keeping up with your studies at the hospital. Do you want to give it a try?” The teacher inquired. “How about number 37?”
Sunset looked at the book in front of her and paged to the exercise in question, a challenging one she noticed. Reading through the exercise she figured she was just about to catch up to the section covering this material.
Sunset looked up to the teacher, knowing she had intended to challenge her, and smirked.
“Challenge accepted,” she said. Sunset picked up her book, got up and walked over to the whiteboard. She skimmed the assignment on her way. Standing in front of the whiteboard, she could feel the gaze of the students behind her. Once she got into the material however, she managed to push through.
Writing the equations on the board, her anxiety dissipated. After reading the data, substituting, calculating and finally answering the question, she asked how she’d done.
“It’s almost perfect,” the teacher said.” Your answer is correct, though you can divide all the coefficients by 3, and you forgot an e for the electrons. The coefficients are not too important now because the answer is correct, but the electrons are an important part. Once your exams come up, this will be taken into account. This is precisely the difference between the A students and the A+ students.”
“Got it. Thank you,” Sunset said.
They shared a smile that Sunset carried back to her desk in the classroom. She hadn’t particularly studied this material, yet still got A-level results. With her teacher’s remarks, she was certain she could work towards her newly set goals of becoming an A+ student. Invigorated, she went on to the next exercise, minding the details of her solutions.
Class had continued as normal, though Sunset had remained focussed on her own goals rather than having partaken in group activities. If there had been any, she hadn’t noticed.
The class concluded right before the bell rang, allowing ample time to ensure she’d be the last one to leave the room. Steeped in her book, she held it up to obscure her face as she navigated the emptying hallways to her next class. She snuck in a few peeks around to see if she could spot her friends. At the end of the hallway, Pinkie Pie just turned the far corner. In the window she saw Rainbow Dash by her side.
Sunset lowered her book with a sigh. If Rainbow Dash was here, everyone else was too. One burden less to carry around, albeit a bit late in the day. Now it wouldn’t keep her up at night.
The teacher ushered the students into the next classroom. Sunset had intended to be the last one to enter, again, making use of the commotion to just get seated without drawing much attention to herself. At least she hadn’t rushed this time.
Behind her, Ditzy had followed. For but an instance they had made eye contact. Questions riddled Ditzy’s face, but once she noticed Sunset had noticed, she moved on to sit down. Sunset kept eyeing her with curiosity until she sat down. Much to her disappointment, Ditzy had not looked back.
Great, Sunset thought, just what I needed: More distraction. I did so well just now. What does Ditzy of all people want with me? And why now? Why not earlier?
Before long, Sunset was passed a note from Ditzy, asking if she’d like to talk for a moment after class. She looked up and turned towards Ditzy, who put up a warm smile. Sunset wasn’t sure what to make of this peculiar situation. Just why? The longer Sunset looked though, the more she noticed Ditzy’s radiant eyes; she was sincere. Sunset nodded and turned back to try and focus on the lesson.
Now what? She thought, frustration simmering. She sighed. She tried to recall all her interactions with Ditzy up until now but she’d always just been in the background. She didn’t particularly mind Ditzy, though she had been part of the mob during the whole big incident recently. Why had she been smiling like that, like nothing was the matter?
Sunset thought it weird how she could be so very upset with her closest friends, yet classmates who were virtually strangers to her got such an easy pass. Was she that cynical to simply expect such rotten mob and bullying behaviour from complete strangers? They weren’t just mere animals not to be held accountable to their actions! Everyone was in on this!
Though in the end, weren’t they also just victims of the real perpetrators?
Sunset didn’t know anyone who’d even known or had cared to know Ditzy’s secrets in the first place, so why the hostilities? What possible reason did Ditzy have to be angry with her? Was she standing up for a friend of hers?
Now, all of a sudden, she’d made a completely normal impression too. As if they had no history before now. The only way to know, Sunset knew, was to just ask when the time came. No need to fuss over questions you can save for later. She hadn’t known Ditzy to be a liar, so she hoped that would be true at least.
The rest of the lesson flew by without a hitch and before she knew it, she was standing outside the classroom, Ditzy in tow. The rest of the students went on to their next class, leaving them with some time alone.
“Well, what did you want to talk to me about?” Sunset asked Ditzy plainly.
For some reason, Ditzy was a little perturbed by even this simple question, Sunset noticed. Ditzy opened her mouth to speak but Sunset beat her to it.
“What?! What was that just now?!” Sunset asked, hands on her hips. She sighed, relaxed and tried her best to come off as less hostile. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little on edge. Today’s been one big crazy weird rollercoaster,” she said, waving her hands around.
“Oh, it’s okay,” Ditzy said, her tone apologetic. She looked at her feet. “I just wanted to talk with you for a little while, actually. But we don’t have time between classes.” Ditzy looked up to Sunset, hopeful.
A moment of quiet fell, and Sunset didn’t know if she was supposed to speak up. Since they were pressed for time, she did so anyway.
“Okay? So what do you propose?” she asked.
Ditzy shuffled her feet anxiously. In a way it was adorable, Sunset thought, though it wasn’t exactly out of bashfulness.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but….” She looked at Sunset “I mean, I really do, but, I was wondering if maybe you would like to stop by my place after school?”
Sunset was taken aback. It seems today’s ride just never ends. Then again, this is Ditzy. Despite not having interacted with her, rumours had it that Ditzy was somewhat clumsy. People who’d be around her would easily find themselves in unexpected but harmless situations.
“I understand if you don’t want to, after all the terrible things people did to you, including myself.” Ditzy said, ”I know it’s hard to start trusting people again, that’s why I said it’s a lot to ask.”
Sunset scratched the back of her head, looking at Ditzy. She didn’t take Ditzy as someone capable of malice or anything, so surely there was no harm in taking her up on this offer. Then again, you don’t just never hang out and then start talking about trust out of the blue. She never trusted Ditzy to begin with, nor did she distrust her. They didn’t know each other. If Ditzy were to earn that trust, at least she seemed to be trying now. She did have a bit of ground to cover.
“Well, not today, but maybe tomorrow if that’s alright?” Sunset said. “Here.” Sunset handed Ditzy her phone. “Just text yourself so we’ll have each other’s numbers.”
Ditzy was positively elated, though the self-awareness kicked in swiftly and she settled down. They exchanged numbers and went on their way. Sunset looked behind her seeing Ditzy texting, but didn’t receive any messages. A feeling of distrust towards Ditzy over something minor like this was feeding into her paranoia, much to her annoyance and concern.
The next few classes were uneventful. She didn’t see her friends again, no one sought out her attention and finally she got some schoolwork done. The hours passed smoothly and before she knew it, the school day came to an end.
Standing by her locker preparing to go home, Sunset got tapped on her shoulder. “Hello Sunset,” Soft Spot said ”do you have a minute? It won’t take long, I promise.”
Sunset turned around, bag half packed. Soft Spot’s timing was a bit inconvenient since she wanted to just let the day end, but she also wasn’t in any particular hurry. Better to just deal with this now rather than later.
“Sure.” She put her bag in her locker and followed Soft Spot to her office. They sat down at the small coffee table.
“So,” Soft Spot began, “how was your day?”
Sunset sat down in a recliner, pondering for a moment. “It’s been a wild and tiring ride,” she said, crossing her arms.
“Oh? Do tell?” Miss Spot asked.
“Just, a lot of things going well, and bad, then weird. I did well in class, but got pretty distracted by everything that’s going on and then Ditzy just, out of the blue, decided to talk to me saying she wanted to meet up at her place,” Sunset said. “I’d also almost missed out on one class, had to rush to make it in time. It’s all just been frustrating.”
Soft Spot nodded, but didn’t respond to what she’d just heard. “Did you see your friends today? I know you were a bit nervous about that. I hope things worked out for you?”
“That it did, actually.” That at least went well. Sunset thought. “I just wanted to know if they’d been at school today and I found out that they were, so, yeah.”
“That’s good to hear. Sounds to me your day hasn’t been all that bad, has it?” Soft Spot said. “You’re no longer concerned for your friends having been here today, you know you’re mostly caught up with your studies and got an opportunity to make a new friend,” she continued.
“I guess,” Sunset said. “It just sucks to be too frustrated to notice. I-”
The room fell quiet. She crossed her legs and let her hands rest in her lap. She looked down, facing away from Soft Spot. Soft Spot just let her speak. Sunset sighed.
“This is when I would go to my friends, they’d listen. But I don’t even have that anymore.” Being alone had never hit her this hard. Then again, she never had friends as close as those five. “I’ve never felt so alone.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Soft Spot said. “I hope you’ll find a healthy way to deal with what you’re going through.”
Sunset looked at Soft Spot with a lucid hopelessness, a face that could only mean “save me. Help me.”
“This might not be for everyone, but have you thought of keeping a diary?”
The thought of home, of Twilight and Equestria, brought a smile to Sunsets face. “Actually, I’ve already been keeping a diary of sorts ever since I got here. It’s actually a collection of letters to a pen pal but she’s literally a world away, and she’s really busy. She’s a close friend, but it’s not the same. With letters only every so often, I’m not too keen on sending bad news.”
Soft Spot smiled. “But she would be open to you opening up, right?”
Sunset nodded. “I know she is.” The thought brought a tear of joy. She wiped it away.
“I’m glad to know you have such a good friend out there to help you in your darker hours,” Soft Spot said. “Just remember that you can always make new friends. You don’t need to be lonely.”
Sunset sighed. “I just want my old friends back. I don’t just want friends: I want them to be my friends again,” she said. There rung a helplessness in her voice she’d not heard before. “I wouldn’t want them to replace me either. After everything that’s happened, I trust them enough to at least want the same.”
Soft Spot chuckled into her hand. “Oh Sunset, I wasn’t suggesting you’d replace your friends! I’m just saying that you can always make more friends,” she said jovially. “And Ditzy might be that first new friend. She was kind enough to reach out to you, all at the risk of being rejected. I hate to bring it up but given your rule over this school a while back, I’d say that takes at least some guts,” Soft Spot said. She paused briefly before concluding. ”Especially for a girl like her.”
“I guess.” Sunset had been the worst school bully. She had been feared but ultimately not respected. She’d gotten nothing for it but trouble, as had everybody else. She’d never picked on anyone in particular, or rather, she’d bullied every single victim in particular, on a personal level. She knew exactly what got to each individual. It had been why she had been so effective. She didn’t just do it to a single person.
“What do you mean, especially for a girl like her?” Sunset asked.
Soft Spot smiled. “Don’t worry, you can ask her tomorrow,” she said. “Actually, she’ll probably tell you on her own.”
That just raised more questions. Every time Sunset thought the day couldn’t get stranger it did. She simply supposed Soft Spot had already said too much about something that was probably told to her in confidence, or whatever. Home sounded pretty good to her right now, so she just let this rest.
She bade Soft Spot goodbye and went back to her locker, got her bag and left the school premises. Moments later, at the school gate, six students and a teacher looked on as she faded towards the horizon.
“So, how was she today, Miss Spot?” asked a nervous Fluttershy. “I hope she’s doing alright? Please let her be alright.”
Soft Spot put her hands on the outermost students and they all turned to face her.
“It’s hard to tell, but she has high hopes for the future.” A sigh of elation followed, which immediately got drowned out by an overwhelming sense of dread when they noticed that single word that was to follow.
“However,” Soft Spot continued, “she is very deeply hurt in many ways, and she’ll be struggling to keep herself from going off the deep end shortly.”
Soft Spot wasn’t trying to be blunt or hurtful, but she couldn’t bring herself to be dishonest about these things. The truth was harsh and painful, but living a fantasy would be the worst thing to do.
“DEEP END?!” “SHORTLY?!” Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie yelled simultaneously.
“Ssshhh,” Soft Spot shushed. The loudmouths immediately realised their mistake, though to no apparent consequence.
“What I meant by that,” Soft Spot continued, “was that she’ll become incredibly sad. That’s the deep end I meant.” Soft Spot turned to face the horizon where Sunset was merely a fading spot in the distance. ”Nobody wants to be sad, so we all fight it, all the time. But her pain is inside her, and it will stay with her, even grow on her. There is no place for her to hide or to find comfort, because this pain she cannot shed. It will follow her everywhere, because she has no choice but to take it everywhere.” She turned back to Sunset’s friends, a tear running down her face. “And there’s nothing we can do about it.”
She wiped the tear away before turning to Ditzy. “We can’t do anything about what she’s going through, because through it she must go. There is no turning back in this.” She put her hands on Ditzy’s arms. “We can’t do anything, but you might be able to help her.”
Ditzy looked at Pinkie Pie, who smiled and gave a nod, before turning back to miss Soft Spot. “Actually, I already reached out to her because of Pinkie Pie earlier,” Ditzy said. ”I overheard her talking about Sunset and how she basically has nobody to just talk to.” In her Ditzy eyes swelled a flame of determination. “And I don’t want her to go down that awful path.”
Everyone nodded.
“So how long until… you know,” Rarity said, “she’ll give in?”
“I don’t know, Rarity,” Soft Spot said. “Could be by the end of the week, could be a month. It’s all up to Sunset.”
Rainbow Dash clenched her fists and frowned. “I just wish there was something we could do. Anything!” She put her hands on her head and messed up her hair in frustration. “This is driving me insane!” She said, gritting her teeth. ”If Pinkie hadn’t caught me earlier today, I would’ve run up to her and just made a terrible scene!”
Pinkie Pie put her hand on Dash’s shoulder, as did Applejack.
“Ah know Dash. We all do,” AJ said. “But we’re already doin’ the best we can. Ya know that, else ya wouldn’t even realize ya would’a been makin’ a t’rrible scene.”
“We’re all in this together,” Pinkie Pie said. “I want to just go out there and hug her ‘till she’s better. I’d get a degree in heart surgery overnight if it means I can mend her heart.” She tried to put an arm around Dash to pull her into a hug, but Dash shrugged it off and pushed her away. Dash wasn’t the one who needed it. It was Pinkie Pie who did. AJ winced at the painful rejection, but given recent events, it came as no big surprise.
It had been difficult to keep an eye on Dash during the past few days. Over the weekend they’d even had a sleepover just for that very reason. Keep her distracted. Keep her from getting any crazy ideas, and talk her out of the ones she got anyway. Whenever she got low on energy however, she’d just keep to herself like now. In the end they were able to restrain her one way or another. They had been very fortunate Dash is pretty predictable, and a terrible liar to boot.
Another good fortune had been that Pinkie Pie didn’t meet their expectations to just go along with Dash, unintentionally egging her on with her own crazy ideas. Instead, she had been the most dedicated to keeping Dash in check. She was the one coming up with one crazy idea after another for them to do to keep things under control. Exhausting sports and games, fun stuff that would take a lot of concentration and creativity. It had been very effective and perhaps more importantly, even if ever so briefly, fun. Genuinely fun. In the quiet though, the crawling sadness and despair had been ever lurking.
“I know,” grumbled Dash. “It just sucks.” Dash shifted her attention to Ditzy, still frowning. “You better make it count.”
Ditzy gave her a smile and thumbs up.
“Don’t do anything I would do,” Dash joked cynically before looking away.
“I’ll give it my all,” Ditzy said.
Dash nodded without turning around, letting out a quiet “good luck” before walking to where she’d parked her dirt bike. Pinkie followed suit. A few steps away she twirled around, also wishing Ditzy good luck before picking up her pace to catch up with Dash.
“Ahm somewhat concerned,” Applejack said.
“We all are darling,” said Rarity, “we’re in an entire jar of pickles, especially -”
“Ah mean about those two,” AJ interrupted. “Ah mean, with Dash it’s really obvious but Pinkie’s kinda gettin’ on mah nerves too.”
Fluttershy was taken aback, thinking they’d stand by one another. She wasn’t the only one.
“On your nerves? Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked before Fluttershy could.
Seeing their expressions, Applejack quickly clarified, “Ah don’t mean it like that. Ah mean she’s bein’ off somehow. Ah realize nobody’s much of themselves raht now, but she’s somethin’ else entirely.” Applejack looked down, thinking. She wasn’t even sure what she meant, let alone able to express it. “Ah dunno how to tell ya what Ah mean but either she’s happy, bouncy and all alright with this, or she’s suppressin’ somethin’ fierce an’ she’s just pretendin’.”
Applejack looked back up. “And Ah’m really certain it ain’t the former. She ain’t lahk this when she’s her normal self, not even when she’s a bit down or disappoin’ed. Anyone else seein’ what Ah’m seein’?”
The group considered her words but to no particular conclusions either way. Rarity thought back to the exhausting weekend sleepover and get-together they’d had, which was typical enough for Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy agreed on that. Ditzy and Miss Soft Spot couldn’t really tell, much to Applejack’s dismay.
“I’ll keep an eye on her if you want” Soft Spot said, “but I doubt it’s something serious, or at least as serious as the state Dash is in.”
“Thanks miss Spot” said Applejack, “Ah appreciate that.”
Right then, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie came up to them on Dash’s bike, ready to head over to Pinkie Pie’s place. Rainbow Dash had her helmet on already, waiting for Pinkie Pie to put on hers.
Rarity gave Pinkie Pie a knowing look, who in turn smiled back like she was going into an exam she didn’t know was today. “Good luck,” Rarity said. Pinkie Pie nodded. She put on her helmet, grabbed Dash by the waist and off they were.
“Ya see what Ah mean?” AJ said. Unfortunately nobody else did.
After some idle talk had petered out, everyone said their goodbyes before going their respective ways. Time would tell whether Applejack had been imagining things, or if she had been misreading her friends.
Usually, AJ would walk towards the bus stop, get on the bus and be home last of everyone on. Either that or her brother would pick her up after some chores in the neighbourhood. It would be a while before things would get back to usual.
Past the corner, Applejack stopped to rummage through her backpack to get her earbuds. She put them in and plugged the cord into her phone. She went into the playback settings, setting it to play repeat the current song. From the main menu, she went into her files. She scrolled through to the most recently added song, “Farewell for Now” by “Dusken Flares”, closed her eyes and hit “play”.
“... final reason I called you here ...”
* * *
That night, Sunset came home to an empty house, only to find her parents sitting at a set dinner table in the yard. They had one of her favorite dishes prepared.
She sat down with them and discussed the day over the course of the meal. They had been excited to hear how well she’d done during class today and how much she liked her new homeroom teacher. She hadn’t seen her friends today, though she had known they had been there.
Finally, she said, she had plans for tomorrow after school with another student. Fleur didn’t exactly know what to make of that, but Sunset seemed to be happy about it. She had recovered enough to be able to hold her own. Besides, everyone now knew it had been the Cutiemark Crusaders spreading those rumours all along. Hence her suspicions and distrust of the other students had subsided significantly.
When Sunset had first landed in the hospital, it had been no secret how devastated her parents had been. Any parent would be, or at least should be. Gradually life on the outside had gone back to what was relatively normal.
From time to time however, they still realized how close of a call they had had during those few days. How close death’s cold touch had visited upon their dearly beloved daughter. It had greatly strengthened their appreciation for the lives they shared together, and that of their daughter in particular. It had certainly shown its effects in both their attitudes and the things they did to make her life all the better and enjoyable.
The flipside of that coin had, unbeknownst to Sunset, also taken an appreciable toll. Late nights haunted by images of a life without Sunset recurred over and over. Planning the funeral of her own child. Dreams so lucid she’d wake up sick, her head over a porcelain bowl. Having to say words she would never want to speak to an audience she’d never want to face at an event she’d never hoped to be. Everyone dressed in black and sadness. Visiting the grave and losing the strength to even stand or kneel. Freefalling into that bottomless pit of despair and the insanity of knowing she would see her child no more.
Worst of all had been those nights where she’d run back into the hospital looking for her daughter, only to find out she didn’t make it or had been dead on arrival. Having to witness her injured body, the blood, the medical staff doing their absolute best to stand in the way of the inevitable. She’d wake up in a cold sweat, exhausted, and learning from Fancy Pants she’d been tossing up a storm.
Some days Fleur would wake up tired after a night of quiet fits of weeping at the thought of the culprits and what they must have been thinking to be able to do such horrible things to her beautiful daughter. To Sunset, those days she just waved off as having been busier than usual at work, or some other excuse. Sunset had been keen enough to notice something was off, though it wouldn’t be until she herself would be a mother that she’d know exactly what it was. All she could do was be there for her parents, her mother, and love and support them.
Even in her recovering state, Sunset would have the maid help her make them breakfast or dinner, redecorate a few things, make them a painting. Just like how her mother had hand made her lunch today. Small things. Meaningful things.
The table got cleared and Sunset got out her homework.
She showed her parents what she’d done at school today, explaining what’d she’d done right and wrong and how with a bit of extra work ahead of her, she’d be an A+ student in no time.
Her parents had been nervous about Sunset’s first day of school. Everyone had been bullying her so much that seeing all of them again could’ve been upsetting. Had her friends not attended this school, she might’ve switched to another school altogether.
After getting her parents back up to speed, Sunset excused herself and went up to her room for some privacy. On her way, the events of today passed her by in no orderly fashion. By the time she reached the door to her bedroom, she didn’t even notice her turning the handle and stepping inside.
She shut the door behind her. The handle clicked and suddenly, all became serene. Sunset let out a sigh as though she had been holding a very deep breath, slumping with her back against the door.
All throughout the day, thoughts had been running miles a minute back and forth in her mind, to the tune of an ever growing background noise. Like a mental tinnitus, she had only noticed once it vanished. After a sigh of relief, the exhaustion of entertaining all that noise kicked in.
Before going to sleep, she had only one last thing on her mind: Twilight. She got the book from her backpack and opened it up. As much as the previous parts had moved her, this finale was rather anticlimactic.
“Please keep hope and have faith in yourself and your friends. Things may seem bleak now but all will be right again. Think of all the good times. When you had a sleepover and a pillow fight. When you won that game. When you went out to see a movie. All those memories, hold those dear. Let them instill in you hope and faith.
See you this weekend.
Yours truly,
Twilight Sparkle”
A painful advice to revisit those memories. It’s the memories that hurt the worst. The bullying she could handle. It’s the pleasant memories that stung. The worst of ‘em, were those memories of her friends standing against her in her hour of need. Just thinking about having to go through that again split her skull and churned her stomach. On the far side of her room she could’ve sworn she saw a tealish spark in the mirror.
Though the night was young, she decided to simply call it a night. All her loose ends had been tied up and she had grown awfully tired, feeling like a wreck. Just as a check to be sure, she put her hand on her forehead; she didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary.
A little while later she’d completed her nightly rituals of brushing her teeth and whatnot. She didn’t quite recognize the face in the bathroom mirror. The whites of her eyes appearing black no longer than a blink of an eye. Her incisors feeling sharper than usual. Despite expecting to look somewhat pale, she seemed to be completely flushed.
When she got back by her bedside she took one last check up. She felt her teeth and checked her skin but apart from her scars, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe her headache had her hallucinating, she thought.
She got under the covers and finally put her body to rest. Her headache had only slightly worsened, though she was too beat to let it concern her further. Tomorrow morning, all would be well.
In the silent dark, quietness overcame her and all outer thoughts turned inwards. She closed her eyes and let Twilight’s words open the gateway to those memories she’d not want until things had turned back to normal. Her thoughts gradually strayed from paths she had set, to an ever changing mix of images from the past, should-haves, could-haves and moments between tremendous joy and bliss and bottomless pits of deep grief and sorrow.
The whirling mix seemed to change ever more rapidly, but once she took notice, eased to a halt. Finally her mind had settled, though it felt like she wasn’t quite “there” yet. She had landed in a space between the waking world and the dreamlands. It was as if she could be pulled in either direction at a moment’s notice. Sensations from the outside mixing in with experiences from the past as she recalled it.
Even here in this strange place she felt the tiredness seeping through her body. A numbness one feels at the brink of passing out, slowly swaying to and fro’ like ocean tides. There was a warm and soft pressure all over her body, keeping still her body and her soul. Her sleep would prove deep tonight, and all she could hope for was to wake up well rested.
