The Lost Thoughts of a Solemn Soul

by lucarioinfamous

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad
Length: 1485

Trapped in her mind, Pinkie spends most of her time bored, with nothing to do.

Equestria doesn't exist. At least, not one where the Elements of Harmony have been discovered. How could they? The Element of Laughter can't even stand on her own. At least, not at her will, she can't. She's stuck, a prisoner in her mind. She wants to move, but she just sits, day in and day out, staring at nothing...

Published 2015-01-21 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-21 21:20:02 UTC

All That Exists of Her...

Author's Note

This was just a short story that I wrote while suffering writer's block on another story. This is also the first time that I've attempted writing in a completely present tense, and as such may have screwed up in some spots. Anyways, thanks to Crescent Quill for editing for me, who can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Crescent+Quill

All That Exists of Her...

"Well Clyde, there's not much more we can do." Granny said, looking to Pa. "The doctors have done all they can."

"There must be something, ANYTHING we can do!" Pa yelled back.

"Igneous Clyde Pie, do NOT yell at me. Autism is just something we'll have to learn to live with."

That was how it starts. That's how it always starts. Pa tries to get me to do something, aside from just sit there, and when it doesn't work, he gets angry and goes back inside.

"Hush my darling." Granny said, holding my crying body close.

I've been this way for as long as I can remember, a prisoner in my own body. A silent observer as my body controls itself.

"I don't see why you don't just give me control." She says.

She's always here, and always begging me to let go.

"I've told you, as mean as he can get, I don't want him hurt. He still is my dad after all."

She constantly asks for me to let go, and let her take control, but I just can't. She's evil, I know it. See, while I can't control my body, I keep only a slight hold on it, just enough that she can't get any, but if I let go, she takes full control and hurts somepony.

"Come on Pinkie, let's get you inside, it's starting to look like rain." Granny says.

"Like rain..." My body mimics, before following her lead and going inside.

My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but SHE is Pinkamena.

The two of us watch from the eyes of my, well OUR body, waiting for a time we can possibly live a normal life.

She sighs, and retreats to her own little haven.

We both have our own. A small part of the brain free of the static that is our body's empty mind.

I don't know what goes on in her part, but in mine, I'm not alone, and I can be happy.

I retreat there myself, and soon am surrounded by friends again.

"Hey Pinkie!" Applejack waves, selling her apples from the stand.

"Hey!" I yell, bouncing my way over to her as a pony leaves her stand with some apples.

"Have you heard? The Summer Sun Celebration is going to be here this year." Applejack says.

"In Ponyville?!?" I gasp, staying in the character this world knows me as. "I've gotta go, there's a bunch of planning to do now."

This tends to happen a lot, news from around Equestria trickles into my own little world, and voices itself through the friends I have here. I don't know where they come from, they just showed up when I realized I had this little world all my own.

It's weird though, I know the world is just a creation of my consciousness, but it still feels real. Everypony moves on their own, and they react to what I say and do like a true setient creature would.

I got to see the SSC once. Granny and Grampy took me to the city that it was at. While I was there my body bumped into a stallion, who got angry at me when I just stared blankly at him, not apologizing. Grampy got hurt pretty bad protecting me when the stallion hit him. I wanted to look away, but my body refused. It just sat there, staring blankly at everypony. I miss Grampy so much.

I'm pulled back to the main center of my brain as I hear my favorite voice.

"Hey Pinkie." Maud says, sitting down on the couch with me. "Do you remember what I said we'd do today?"

"Remember..." My body mumbled.

"That's right! We're going to make some rock candy."

Maud has always been the best. She has infinite care for me, and always take the time to be with me, even if she's really busy.

I struggle to get my body to smile, but the most I manage is a slight, almost unnoticeable curl at the corners.

"I love you Maud." I say to myself, as she arrived from her own haven.

"Oh, Maud's home." She says, sitting.

She doesn't sound like it, but she cares for Maud the most, maybe even more than I do.

"I thought you'd might like some extra this time, so I got plenty." Maud says, pulling the bag out.

She makes sure there's plenty of room on the table and sets everything out, before pouring the bag of colorful pieces of hardened sugar across it.

My hoof reaches out and grabs some of the candy, before putting it in my mouth and eating it then and there.

Maud laughs, "I knew you'd be happy."

The last time we tried to make any I ended up eating most of it, and Maud had barely half a bracelet done. She slowly took the bracelet apart and we shared the candy.

By the end I've eaten most of the candy and we both barely have matching bracelets. It's nice, but I've eaten mine off in about half an hour.

Months later:

"Maud, fetch your sister." Ma tells her.

Maud comes into the room, where I'm sitting on my bed staring at the wall.

"Come on you." She lifts me up, and carries me outside so we can watch the sunrise.

I still don't know how she's strong enough to lift my body so easily.

We watch patiently for the sun to rise, but it never does.

We eventually give up and I retreat to my world, where a mare named Twilight is just coming to the small town I live in. Once again, the real world seeps into my own, and the sun doesn't rise here either. The Twilight mare runs off when the princess appears missing.

She comes to my world, and pulls me back to reality, where a tall alicorn is looking over my family.

"Friend..." My body keeps mumbling, apparently thinking of my own friends in my world.

"Why would you care? You just want to enslave her, don't you?" Maud asks, angry at her.

She sighs, her eyes flashing white for a moment.

"Is everything ok in here?" A voice asks Pinkamena and myself.

We look to each other, confused as to what's going on.

The alicorn appears between us. "Um, hi..." She says plainly.

"H-hi..." I say to her.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine..."

"And your sister self?"

"My what?"

"Your split personality." She says, pointing to Pinkamena.

"You know I'm right here, right?"

"The term 'sister self' sounds so much better than split personality, don't you think?"

"I- I guess so..."

"Very nice. Come, come." She waves Pinkamena over.

We sit next to each other, and the alicorn sits across from us.

"What's going on?" She asks.

"Well, I entered your mind to see what exactly was wrong. You looked so somber outside, I thought I'd come see." Was the alicorn's answer.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"My name, in my current state, is Nightmare. However in my normal appearance, I'm known as Luna."

"What do you mean current state?"

"Well, I used to raise the moon along with my sister raising the sun, but l made a stupid mistake, and found myself trapped in the moon. I hate awaited this night for so long. I finally broke free from my prison, and now have returned to this world."

"And you're making life horrible?"

"All I want is some appreciation. You're the first to call me your friend. It's hard raising the moon, and it doesn't help that no-one even cares if I do it."

"There couldn't have been NO-ONE that cared. Surely somepony must've."

"They might have, but it doesn't matter now, anyone that would is dead now."

"So? Nopony remembers you, you have a chance to start over."
A flash of realization flicked across her face.

"You're right, I must start amending these tainted relations..."

With a flash Nightmare left us. Outside her eyes returned to normal and she approached my body.

"Back off!" Maud shouted, stepping between us.

"Relax little pony, I've no reason to harm your dear sister."

She lifts Maud away and pulls my body into a hug. "Thank you, Ms. Pie." She whispers to me, before turning to everypony, "I sincerely apologize for my behavior, and will now be leaving your family in peace."

She quietly turns to leave, flapping her brilliant wings once before taking off.

I sigh, knowing my life was returning to the barely passable excuse for living.