Of Blankflanks and Blockheads

There comes a day in everypony's lives where the unexpected comes. Worse than the apocalypse. More horrifying than any horror film. More surprising than a jack in the box.

"Diamond I'm afraid you have to be taught a lesson."

Those fateful words. Those words would change Diamond's life forever. She never expected it. But it came. It broke through her wall of things she thought to be reality.

"You've been relying too much on my bits that I think you don't understand the value of them."

How? How was she supposed to prepare herself? For the pain! The agony! The undeniable fate of her poor innocent mind!

"This week you won't get any bits from me. You have to learn to earn bits on your own."

Oh Celestia! Oh Luna! Oh Cadence! Oh Twilight!

"You're becoming a more mature mare! You have to be prepared for the world to come."

Diamond's world on the other hand, was falling apart.

"This is my final word."

How could anything be worse tha-

        "Silver Spoon! My life biography can wait! We have to earn bits like daddy said!" Diamond said to Silver Spoon. Diamond's companion put "The Life and Liberty of Diamond Tiara" away and started thinking about a plan to earn bits. It had been approximately 10 minutes since Diamond's "rejection" and she was already the most miserable filly in the neighborhood. "Now what to do? What to do?" Diamond murmured.

         "Hi!" Pinkie Pie said as she jumped in front of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. "Why feeling so sad? Do you need some psychiatry? I can make you happy in a jiffy!" Pinkie said in her usual happy attitude.

          "Psychiatry...that's it! I can become a psychiatrist!" Diamond said she passed by a lightbulb store.

          "Yeah! You are great at knowing what ponies feel! Like that one time you said those blankflanks must feel ashamed of themselves! Or that one time when you said I didn't have a idea in my head! That was actually true!" Silver Spoon replied.

           "Well I'm glad I cheered you up. I guess." Pinkie said worriedly as she bounced away.

            "Ha! This is gonna be a piece of cake!" Diamond said. "So what do you need to do first to become a psychologist?"

            "Get a PhD?" Silver Spoon suggested.

             "No. No that's definitely not it." Diamond Tiara thought aloud. "Aha! I have to build my own stand!" Diamond proclaimed. She then set to work. For 1 second. As soon as she touched the wood, she was scared of getting a splinter and told Silver Spoon to build it.

             One hour later, Silver Spoon completed Diamond's stand while Diamond slurped up her fourth drink of lemonade.

             "I...did...it...Diamond..." Silver Spoon panted.

              "And it's about time! I was beginning to get bored!" Diamond said. "Now let's get to business! Which one of these ponies needs psycologizing." Diamond looked at the crowd of ponies and in the midst of them, who should she spy but the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Muahahaha! Perfect!" Diamond cackled.

"What I'm trying to say Apple Bloom, is that I don't think there is such a thing as a Great Apple." Sweetie Belle said.

       "Nonsense! The Great Apple will rise up and give all the good little fillies and colts free apples! That's how it works!" Apple Bloom explained. "Eventually, The Great Apple will get its other Kaiju friends and obliterate all the bad fillies and colts. At least, that's what that Michael Hay movie taught me."

        "Excuse me blankflanks...I mean customers. Would you like us to psycologize you? Only five bits!" Diamond said trying to catch the attention of the crusaders.

        "Ugh! Speaking of bad fillies." Scootaloo murmured.

        "Maybe if we humor her this time, she won't bother us again." Sweetie suggested.

        "Oh well. The The Great Apple will eat her anyways." Apple Bloom shrugged. "We'll accept your...'generous' offer Diamond. But only this time!"

         "I assure you, you won't regret it." Diamond smirked.

"So what is the main problem in your life bla- I mean Apple Bloom." Diamond said trying her best to listen.

        "Well, I can't get a cutie mark." Apple Bloom replied.

        "Interesting. And have you ever stopped trying to get a cutie mark?"

        "Well every time I do, you tease me about being a blankflank." Apple Bloom said annoyed.

        "Interesting. And how do you feel about that."

        "Angry."

        "And how do you feel about being angry."

        "More angry."

        "And how do you feel a-"

        "Do you ever stop saying 'how do you feel'? It's like I could do this stuff on my own! I want a refund."

        "I'm sorry, all purchases are final." Diamond said with a grin.

        "Come on girls! Let's go to the park or something." Apple Bloom said as she left with her friends.

        "Fine then! Who needs you! There are plenty of fish in the sea! Right Silver Spoon? Silver Spoon?" Silver Spoon was distracted throughout the entire session by the watch store across the street, checking what time it was. "Silver Spoon!"

        "What! What? Huh?" Silver Spoon said.

        "What were you looking at that was more important than my session Silver Spoon?" Silver Spoon pointed towards the watch store. Diamond then got an idea. She had seen Filthy Rich go to psychologists and have them swing a pocket watch back and forth. Diamond was sure that it would make her a great psychologist. "I'm a genius! Ha! Ha!" Diamond laughed.