The Tale of Bath2pounge Too: Return of the Bath2pounge

The baby dragon watches in stark horror at this horrid horse discourse. "Geez! Get a room, guys!" he says, moving around us to get to the fridge.

"Oh, come on now Spike, don't you like Bathspounge?" Twilight asks, pulling her face off of mine to talk to her live in assistant, but still holding me near.

"I do. Bathspounge is awesome, but you guys are being all lovey-dovey all over the house," Spike whines, grabbing the carrot-juice out of the fridge.

"That reminds me. Spike, you need to move out of my room now that Bathspounge is moving into it," Twilight says, using her magic to help Spike get a glass from the shelf he can't reach.

"So I'm setting my bed up in the basement permanently?" he says.

The laugh track cackles for a few seconds while everyone looks awkwardly confused and confusedly awkward.

"Yes," Twilight says matter-of-factly.

The laugh track kicks in again. And the conversation is put on hold so that the audience can be informed of what is supposed to funny, by the audience.

Spike nods and scampers off, not wanting to speak again in fear of invoking the laugh track once more.

"Now… where were we?" Twilight asks erotically, pushing her head back against mine as she flips off the switch to the laugh track with her magic.

"I believe you were about to ask me if I'd join you on the couch for something rather intimate," I respond, dropping my tone so that it's deep and husky. Because that turns Twilight on, I think.

"The couch? Aren't you afraid that Spike will interrupt us?" Twilight asks, moving her forehooves up my own.

"A boy's got to learn about these things eventually," I respond, flexing my light muscles to appear impressive.

"I'd think he already knows the basics, living in this house," Twilight retorts, sliding her head down to the crook of my neck and beginning to nuzzle me.

“Probably more than just the basics, given how often we do it,” I respond, rubbing my head against Twilight’s, returning her nuzzling action.

“Well of course we do it a lot, you’re the best partner I’ve ever had,” Twilight groans, snuggling even harder.

“I’m flattered, Twilight. If it means anything, you’re also the best I’ve had,” I respond, stifling moans.

“I’d hope so, we’re both very skilled, and very very well endowed,” Twilight responds, full on moaning now.

"Oh Twilight… your rilling me up…" I groan, unaware of Spike passing behind me to put his bed in the basement with the science devices.

"I'll meet you there then," Twilight says after raising her head to whisper in my ear, teasing me with her breath. She then saunters away, shaking her flank more than absolutely necessary as she leaves me to grab the essentials.

I get our usual snacks, pita chips and tapenade hummus, and balance them on my wings before walking into the living room to join Twilight, and find her on the couch, edged toward the lip so that I can slide in behind her. She lowers her eyelids to halfway over her ocular orbs and beckons me with one hoof while she flicks her tail against the cushions behind her. Of course, I can't resist such a sight and quickly slide our snacks onto the coffee table before sliding onto the couch behind her, our bodies interlocking perfectly.

"So…" Twilight begins, turning her head to one shoulder so I can hear her better, "what are you views on the recent actions of the crown?"

"I can't say that their action was without cause: the sugarcane farmers have been requesting market regulation for years. However, I can say that their actions were quite sloppy. Those prices are unreasonable, and I'm sure the market will suffer because of it," I respond, resisting a groan as I enjoy my favorite act with his Twilight: intellectual discussion.

"I can agree with you on the first point, but I must argue the second: the mandated prices aren't meant as a standard, but as a minimum," Twilight retorts, using her magic to open the dish of hummus and dip a chip in it. She brings the chip to her mouth and takes a bite of it as she hears my response.

"The intentions behind it are fine, but the buyers are going to buy for the least they can, that's just logical. With lower profits, growers will have less incentive. Standard market fluctuation would have the buyers raise their prices as product dwindled, but they won't. The Zebraconian corn-syrup business can produce enough to sell at these prices, even with the tariff at what it is. I'm predicting a huge drop in the international value of the bit and a fall in domestic sugar production," I say confidently before eating the chip Twilight offers me. She even made sure to get me a part with the tapenade, this is love.

"I had yet to consider external market's effects, thank you. Now I've spoken with Celestia on this, so I can't expect you to know, but this is only a temporary system," Twilight assures me.

"I am most relieved. What's her long-term solution?" I inquire. Duh, it’s a temporary system, they can’t just expect foreign sucrose overcoming domestic to be fine with the general population. But I do love living in a socialist theocracy.

"Institute a sugar-surplus program that buys excess sugar once the market value drops. Essentially, farmers will always be paid for making sugar regardless of how much they make. I'll have to tell her about Zebraconian corn-syrup though, I'm sure she'll want to adjust for it," Twilight says, snuggling into my side some more.

"The market does need stabilized prices, and I'm sure the growers will appreciate it. Question: what's the excess sugar used for?" I ask, beginning to massage Twilight's back. I’m getting all hot and bothered talking with Twilight about the economy, I might as well work her up to. Maybe we can do my second favorite thing to do with Twilight after this, if you’re picking up what I’m laying down.

Sex.

"Disaster relief packages, mostly. Some of it will be used for hunger-relief, though, I'm sure," Twilight groans.

"Makes sense. Are we giving hunger relief to other countries? Seeing as we don't need it here," I ask, grunting I pops one of her vertebrae. She should really see a real chiropractic specialist though, her spine is fucked up.

"Maybe. Wait! Don't need it? We've got plenty of starving ponies in other parts of Equestria. I know it might not look like it in a farming town such as our own, but Equestria does having malnourished citizens," Twilight yells, almost appalled.

"I can understand it in the metropolises, but most towns have enough grass for them to just eat that," I answer. Twilight is acting like an entitled bitch, not eating grass, but that’s Canterlot ponies for you. She had to have eaten grass at some point in college, when she had the munchies after some brownies or was just poor. She is pretty wealthy though, but her parents don’t seem to be the type to give her money. I’ve never met Twilight’s parents, I should get on that.

"That is reasonable. Grass is pretty awful, but it's abundance and nutritional value makes it good for that, I'll admit. Places where buildings outnumber green-space are more desperate though. You can't deny their need," she scolds.

"Well, they have problems, yes, but they're much better than they could be. Cloudsdale gets most of their food from here, and we had no problem with starvation," I respond, trying to save some face from this absolute reaming I’m getting.

"Hard to believe when they made the likes of you," she giggles, rolling over to tickle my belly.

I laugh and squirm, not wanting to push her away at risk of knocking her off of the couch and hurting her, or the snacks. "Twilight! Please! Stop!" I demand between laughter.

"No! Queen Twilight punishes you to death by tickles for the crime of being a sexy, silly Spounge," Twilight yells, climbing atop me so she can hold me down with the weight of her ass, and then she tickles me even more.

My limbs flail in every direction like a squashed spider who's limbs were spasming due to the distraction of its central nervous system. A sexy spider. In a last effort to save myself from the unrelenting tickles, I hug Twilight and pull her against me, pinning her hooves against my chest so that she can't move them enough to tickle me. Twilight tries to move, but then realizes that she is stuck and drops her head in defeat. I am the true victor. My flag is raised in triumph. My flag is my penis. I think it was because of Twilight calling herself queen, that was pretty hot. I mean, I’d been wicked chubbing the whole conversation, but that title pushed me over the edge. I like it when Twilight takes charge. Not to say I don’t like dominating her, I prefer that greatly, but I can enjoy her being on top, like in my sexual position: The Spounge & Sparkle. As the name suggests, we invented it, and it is awesome.

I see her pretending to look sad and push my lips against hers, giving her the pleasant surprise of a kiss. Twilight eagerly kisses me back, pushing her tongue into my mouth and wrapping it around my tongue. That’s a long tongue, I should make her give me more blowjobs. The two pink snakes writhe and intertwine intensely as I loosen my grip on her, letting her move her hooves free and up to my head to stroke my hair. I move a hoof to the back of Twilight's head and pushes it against me, pushing my tongue deeper into her mouth. Twi moans into my mouth before offering her counterattack, diving into my mouth with her own tongue and seizing control of the sloppy kiss. Spittle from both of us leaks out between our lips as they slide past each other, giving each of our lips a thick wet coating. My hooves stray farther down Twilight's body, grabbing her hips and forcing her to grind harder against me, so she can know about my boner.

Twilight breaks the kiss for air, pulling her mouth off of mine with a loud gasp. I was fine though. Those pegasi lungs and all. She only pulls her head a few inches away, maintaining the intimacy of our session. We stare at each other, panting to refill our lungs with the air we lost while tongue-fucking. Pegasi do have great lung-capacity, but I’m not really athletic at all. Well, I can endure a lot of sex, but not as much as Rainbow Dash. She could go for a week, I tell you what. A thin line a spit connects our mouths before its weighed down and falls into my mouth, where I eagerly lick it up. It tastes like passion, and hummus, and olives.

We ram our lips back together, our faces meeting halfway with all the passion of before: just as passionate, just as intense, and just as erotic as before. Our tongues pick up where they left off before the break, battling for dominance like the USA and USSR. Our hooves rub over eachother rapidly, stroking their backs, flanks, shoulders, necks, head, and other erogenous zones. Just as the hardcore make out starts to become a little more than that when my cock pushes up between her but cheeks and over her lower back, and her normal back. We break again.

"Bedroom!" we both gasp before rushing up there to continue, and finish, what we started.