I am yours

by MidnightFMare

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Sex, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Human, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 76735

After a fistfight, Diamond Tiara has finally realises that she is madly in love with Applebloom, and wants to make up for all of those years of bullying. Even if it means serving the young Apple

After a fistfight, Diamond Tiara has finally realises that she is madly in love with Applebloom, and wants to make up for all of those years of bullying. Even if it means serving the young Apple. Contains, in no particular order: Lactation, servitude, fighting, public masturbation, FemDom, public humiliation, voyeurism, spanking, and pet play
Also, all characters in the story are of age. This is not foalcon, if that is your schtick, you won't find it here. Sorry and have a wonderful evening
*May Luna have mercy on my soul for writing this*

Published 2015-01-29 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-13 19:05:33 UTC

The fight

The door to the Apple family home slowly opens, a lightly tanned hand pushing it "Hello?" the owner of the hand called before pushing the door open further.

Slowly, the young girl walked towards the stairs to her room but a cough alerts her that she isn't alone "Welcome home Applebloom." a deep, manly voice greets, sending chills down her spine.

"H-Hey Big Mac... How're you?" Applebloom asks, trying to hide the right side of her face.

The muscular man stood, easily towering over the young girl by two or three feet "Another fight?"

Sighing, the young girl shows her brother her bruised cheek, the dark purple out of place on her tanned skin "Yeah... Diamond did it. I was talkin' to Snips n' Snails when she just came up and sucker punched me!"

The older Apple sighs "Y'all are both adults now... shouldn't ya'll have put this behind ya?"

Applebloom snorts "No. She's mah sworn enemy! She's had it out for me since elementary school!"

Big Mac sighs and pulls out an ancient flip phone, caked with dirt and covered with scratches. Quickly dialing a number, he steps outside of the house "Yes? Can ah speak to Gold Key? Tell im' that the girls got in a fight again and that ah will take im' up on his offer"

Applebloom shrugs and walks up to her room to sleep, still rubbing the bruised part of her face.

The next morning, Applebloom awakens to finding herself in the passenger seat of her brother's pickup "Whuzza? Wha's goin' on?"

"We're going to a neutral zone so that you an' Diamond work out yer differences." Her brother answers, handing the sleepy girl a cup of coffee.

Chugging the bitter liquid, Applebloom processes her brother's words "So ya want me to make nice with that snob? As Scoots would say 'Fat chance'."

Big Mac sighs "Ah figured you'd say that... and that's why you're not leavin' til you 'Make nice with that snob'."

Sighing, Applebloom looks out the window, wondering how the other girl was taking this.

Diamond Tiara silently fumed. It wasn't that she wanted to be silent, she couldn't speak at all.

Gold Key marveled at the maids' ingenuity of wrapping her in bed sheets and holding them in place with leather belts and a handkerchief tied around her mouth for good measure "Mmmpphh mmpphh!"

Gold Key sighs "I know that this far from what you thought would be an ideal use of your Saturday, Mistress Tiara, but simply put... you need to stop fighting young Miss Applebloom."

Diamond gave an evil glare to her butler "Mm mmph mmmph mmph mmmph mmmmph."

Gold smiled "Oh I am sure you will, but for now, you have no choice in the matter."

Diamond sighs, settling down and looking out the cold window at passing buildings.

Arriving at a grey building the size of a house, Gold Key motioned for Big Mac to speak with him "Eeyup?"

"Master Apple, I must thank you for taking me up on my offer. I am sure that this will either end with them as friends or at least not at each other's throats."

Big Mac nods and points to the roll of fuming woman in the passenger seat "Need help?"

Gold smiles "I was hoping you'd offer."

Applebloom watches as her brother and a stick of a man lift out a roll of bedding, only to notice the distinctive purple and white streaks of her life-long enemy "Ah guess she don't want to be here more than I do."

After taking the roll in, Gold and Big Mac come out, Big Mac sporting some scratches on his arms "Like a cat that one." he mutters.

"Oh you should see the young Mistress after she wakes up." Gold says, earning a smirk from the taller man.

Nodding to Applebloom, Big Mac enters the pick up and drives away, followed by Gold's classic black Porsche 356A "Rain frog"*.

Applebloom steels her nerves and enters the grey building, closing the door behind her.

"Of all of the stupid things that could happen today, getting stuck in here with you is one of the worst!" Diamond spits, pointing to Applebloom, who simply rolls her eyes "Why do ya hate me so much? What did ah do to you?"

Diamond groans "It's because you and your annoying friends have been nothing but a nuisance since elementary school!"

"We were kids back then, we're both adults now. Way to hold a grudge Snob."

Diamond growls "And how you talk! Your whole family have butchered the beautiful Equish language! And your voice! Oh your voice! It is so screechy that whenever you open your mouth, I want to jab rusty nails into my ears! An' tha's jus' th' stahrt!"

Applebloom's face turns red "Ah do not talk like that you pampered idiot."

"And would it hurt you to put some pride into how you look?! All you ever wear is ragged, mud stained hand-me-downs from your siblings! And that goddamn bow! You've worn that same pink bow since elementary school! Get. Rid. Of. It!"

Applebloom clenches her fists "Ah wear the bow to keep my hair out of my face..."

Diamond scoffs "Yeah, and Sweetie Belle is a genius savant."

Before Diamond could blink, Applebloom had her by the front of her form-fitting shirt, lifting the other girl with surprising ease "You can make fun of me, how ah dress, an' how ah speak, but if y'all think you can make fun of mah friends..." She holds Diamond to her face "Y'all have another thing comin'."

Diamond laughs and socks Applebloom, the red haired girl losing her grip. Quickly following up her punch, Diamond delivers another, stunning Applebloom, who grins "Who knew you were fast? Well, 'sides every boy an' girl in class."

Diamond roars and launches another punch which quickly goes over Applebloom's head "Heads uppercut!" the crouching girl yells, lacing her fingers together to deliver a strong blow to the rich girl's jaw.

Shaking it off, Diamond looks at the moderately bruised girl grinning at her "Not so easy when ya can't sneak up on someone, is it?"

Diamond smirks "No, it's just not as fun" she throws another punch which Applebloom blocks by grabbing her hand. Grunting, Diamond launches another punch, that hand suffering the same fate as its twin.

Throwing her head back, Diamond readies a head-butt but Applebloom laughs "Bye-bye"

Looking down, Applebloom's shoe glows "Oh fu-" whatever Diamond was going to say was cut off by a patented applebucking kick in the center of her chest, launching her towards a wall, embedding her stunned form within "How's that 'Princess'? Applebloom grins, rubbing her face "Those punches are gonna bruise, ah just know it."

Diamond struggles to maintain consciousness before the world blacks out for a second.

Pulling herself from the wall, she staggers over to Applebloom who tenses "How... humiliating... to be... hurt by an... inbred bumpkin like... you..."

Applebloom grins, her face obscured by her hair "Humiliatin'? No, that ain't humiliatin'" She grabs the unsteady girl by the shirt again and with a wicked look in her eyes, she tears away the flimsy shirt, exposing Diamond's chest and lacey bra.

"One thing ah never understood about you fancy types was why y'all wear such flimsy and frou-frou clothin' that don't cover much or work right. Ah well, ah'll ask Sweetie on Monday" Applebloom muses, grabbing the gore of Diamond's bra and tearing it off, the pampered girl's impressive E-cups bouncing "Wh-what do you think you're doing?!"

Applebloom maintains a neutral face "Ah'm humiliatin' you. Duh."

Diamond blushes bright red "P-Put me down you perverted hick! I'll see you go to jail for this!"

Applebloom shrugs "Whatever, you're word against mine and ah'm the younger sister of the element of honesty and you are rich but also a well-known liar" She pulls Diamond close to her still impassive face "An' who do you think they'll believe? Me..." She grabs Diamond's left breast, kneading the flesh in her hand, making Diamond tense "Or you?"

"Y-you won't get away with this..." Diamond gasps, trying to loosen the other girl's grip

Applebloom squeezes the breast tighter, making Diamond moan in pleasure "Wait a sec..." she looks at Diamond "Are these real?"

Diamond huffs "Of course they are! Do they look fake?!"

Applebloom grins "Now this is proof that you really are a cow."

She drops the girl, looking down at her "On your hands an' knees."

"Or wha- AH!" Applebloom stomps on Diamond's back "Or else ah'll plant another kick in your ribs and grind 'em to dust."

Wincing, Diamond obeyed, her health more important than her pride.

Applebloom grinned "Standin' like my personal cow... That's what you are. A cow... and one in desperate need of milking."

Diamond shivers Is she going to- no, she wouldn't! That's preposterous!

But oh how wrong she was.

Applebloom knelt down next to Diamond and grabbed one dangling breast in each hand, her thumbs, index and middle fingers squeezing the erect areola "Now let's see if we can't get something out of these."

"N-No! Don't you da-AAAHH!" Applebloom yanks, the breast stretching like a rubber band.

She yanks the other, a small drop of liquid appearing on the tip of her breast. Another yank, her scream-moans echoing through out the building.

"Come on, Give me somethin'!" Applebloom demands, removing one hand to squeeze the breast in her other hand like a tube of toothpaste.

"Ahn! St- Stop! This isn't right! AH!" a loud smack cuts her off, Applebloom's hand having slapped Diamond's toned yet plush rear "Quiet. Cow's don' talk."

Reeling from the spanking, Diamond felt a tingle pass from her rear to her pussy Am... am I enjoying this?! I can't be enjoy- AAAHHH!!

Applebloom grins, a few drops of a watery white liquid falling onto the floor "See? Was that so hard?"

Diamond moans in response, the fact that she lactated shutting down the sass center of her brain.

Applebloom repeats the double-handed action on Diamond's other breast, getting a similar result "Guess ah just had to warm you up" she muses, sending more pleasure into Diamond's damaged mind.

Working into a rhythm, Applebloom yanks Diamond's dripping breasts like she would a cow during her Saturday chores "Ya know, I could ask my brother if I could keep you as my pet cow. Would you like that?"

Diamond half moaned, half growled "No, I wouldn't like that you- AHN!!" Applebloom delivers another solid yet restrained slap to Diamond's rear, that same tingle of pleasure making her wet.

"What have ah said about talkin'? Cow's." She yanks hard, making Diamond moan "Don't." Another yank, harder than the last "TALK!" A final yank, stretching her breasts to the shape of zeppelins.

"Pl-Please sto- AHN!!"

SMACK!

"Please stop! I'm- AHH!"

SMACK! SMACK!

"I'm gonna cummmm!!! AHHHH!!"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Diamond screamed at the top of her lungs, her eyes rolling into the back of her head and tongue falling out, Applebloom still milking with one hand, spanking with the other.

As Diamond came down from her orgasm, Applebloom whistled "Ah got a real good stream when y'all was hootin' and holerin'" Stood up and looked at Diamond's soaked panties, rivulets of girl cum trailing down her thighs "You like bein' spanked, don'tcha? Humiliated, punished for what ya done? Do ya lay in bed at night, some faceless dick spankin' ya an' ridin' ya like a horse?"

Diamond cooed as Applebloom's warm breath ticked her soaked snatch "N-no! I am always the one giving it! And don't you forge- AAH!" Applebloom pinched a bit of Diamond's butt "Fat cow... yeah, I can see you grazin' in th' pasture."

Diamond tried to stand but Applebloom delivered a harsh slap to her rear, only pain registering on her butt "Did ah say ya could stand? Ah still have to get more out of ya."

Diamond's mind cleared a little, the sass center of her mind slowly reactivating "I am not your pet! Or a cow! How dare you call me that! I will see you given the death penal- What are you doing?" Applebloom removed Diamond's soaked panties and grabbed her by the neck again, forcing her into her previous position "Seein' as how you like being humiliated... Here, have some lunch" She presents Diamond's soaked panties to her "Smells good right? An' this'll keep ya from talkin' so much."

Putting the leg holes around Diamond's ears like one would a dust mask, she slowly pushes the soaked crotch into Diamond's mouth

Diamond's mind shut down again, the sass center having been quarantined by her brain's building inspector and head of the joint-hemisphere community board who said "This thing has been polluting our grey matter for too long."

Applebloom returned to her milking, switching breasts with one hand and kneading Diamond's reddening ass flesh with the other, the gagged girl's indignation melting into horniness as she tastes her own liquid pleasure on her tongue, the salty bouquet only making her hotter.

"Ya like that you heifer? Moo if you do" Applebloom had a perverse grin on her face as she said this, relishing the feeling of her enemy's surrender.

Diamond's only response was a whimper.

"So ya don't like it? Ah'll sto-" Diamond shook her head "Moo! Keep going!" Applebloom nodded, the grin still on her face "So... What do you say if you like it?"

"M-moo..." Diamond whispers, her blush hidden under her panties.

"Ah'm afraid ah didn't hear ya, come again?" Applebloom says, slowing the milking and kneading.

"M-M-Moo" She whimpers, her tears absorbed by the panties.

"Ah Must be goin' deaf or somethin' what was that?"

"MOO! MOO MOO MOO MOO! OTHER COW NOISES! MOOOOOOOO!!!!" She screams, a strong yank on her breasts and a solid series of slaps on her ass sending her hurtling over the edge and into oblivion as she came all over herself. Panties clenched in her teeth and her limbs weak from strain and euphoria, she fell to the floor, passing out shortly after.

Applebloom grinned "She's a keeper for th' herd."

Author's Note

*Kudo to anyone who gets the reference
*Can anyone tell me what this stands for?
I listen to classic rock when I write clop, I don't know why
Also, as I said before, may Luna have mercy on my soul for writing this
-Midnight Felinus Mare

The desire

Diamond tiara stirs, the blanket she was carried in thrown over her and a sharp pain in her ribs

Applebloom looks over at the cringing girl, concern in her amber eyes "Ah was worried ah killed ya! How do ya feel?"

"M-milked..." she groans, a hand slowly rubbing her breasts "Wh- how is my shirt in one piece?"

Applebloom cocks her head "Why wouldn't it be? Ah don't think ah kicked you hard enough to tear your shirt... sorry about kickin' ya by the way; knocked you out cold for the last two hours"

Diamond groans, pain still flowing through her like blood

"Ah tried callin' mah brother but he ain't pickin' up" Applebloom says, pulling out her phone

Diamond blinks "So... I passed out after you kicked me? Nothing else happened?"

Applebloom nods "Why? Did you expect to keep fightin' after you were out cold?"

"I had a... well, I guess you could call it a dream. I had a dream where after you kicked me I said that it was humiliating losing to you-" Diamond cringes, expecting a punch from the other girl

"And?" Applebloom asks, apparently letting Diamond's insult pass

"And You got an angry look in your eye, saying how that wasn't humiliating... and then you tore my shirt off" Diamond blushes "And then my bra... and when I threatened to see you put in jail you said that no one would believe me over you"

Applebloom nods "Sounds 'bout right"

"Th-then you dropped me, told me to stand on my hands and knees... and called me your personal cow" Diamond's blush intensifies, giving her pale face a color that would not be out of place on an apple "Y-you grabbed my breasts and started tugging, trying to get milk out of them... you did and when I tried to talk you..." She buries her face under the blanket thrown "Y-you spanked me... and..." she mutters into the blanket, feeling the girl's phantom punishment on her ass

Applebloom, sporting a similar blush leans closer to the trembling girl "What was that?"

"I liked it... it made me wet..." Diamond whispers, the farm girl's eyes widening "Ya... ya did?"

Diamond nods under the sheet "I came just from you milking me and sp-spanking me... twice. I... I have never been so humiliated in my life..."

Applebloom coughs "Well, ah know it was a dream an' all but if it helps any, ah'm sorry"

Diamond smiles a little "And I have never been so turned on either; or come so hard... so no apologies are necessary"

"'Cept for the kick" Applebloom mutters, her blush intensifying

Diamond nods, lowering the blanket "Except for the kick... Applebloom?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel like I need to apologize too... I would properly but I'm afraid my ribs might puncture my lungs" she smiles weakly, her blush nearly gone

"L-Like ah said, ah'm sorry ah kicked ya" Applebloom stutters

A knock on the door alerts the two girls of company "Come in!"

Big Mac and Gold Key walk in, the butler looking shocked and the farmer sporting a disappointed look

Diamond smiles, trying to hide her wince "I'm fine... I'm just... not fine"

Big Mac sighs "Ah'm sorry Gold, ah guess it wern't a good idea after all"

Gold nods and picks up Diamond "As am I Master Apple. But it is not a total loss, they aren't arguing"

Big Mac nods and motions for Applebloom to follow, disappointment still on his usually impassive face

"-An' ya kicked her?! What in Sam Hill is wrong with you?!" Applejack yelled, her face bright red from exertion

Applebloom cringes "It was instinct! An' ah apologized! She even accepted it! Ah'll go over there an' apologize until ah'm red in th' face!"

Granny smith looked up from her book "Not that anyone cares what ah think, if th' girl ain' filin' charges, it's all peachy keen... peaches, now there is a strange fruit"

Big Mac nods, either in agreement to the older woman's sentiments about the ordeal or the peaches, only he knew

Applejack sighs, rubbing between her eyes "Ah jus' don' know what to do with ya... ah want you to be her daggum best friend from now on. An' if me or Mac hear that yer fightin' with her, we'll tan your hide so fast that yer jeans will be th' brandin' mark. Understand me?"

Applebloom nods, still afraid of her sister's ire

"It's just a cracked rib. Nothing major Mr. Gold" the doctor says, Diamond wincing at the pain in her chest

Gold sighs in relief "Thank heavens for that. How much is this going to cost?"

The doctor shakes his head "No charge, I'm not even on the clock as of ten seconds from now"

Gold smiles "Thank you so much anyways"

Leaving the clinic, Gold turns to Diamond "I see that you aren't screaming for Miss Applebloom's blood, I take it you aren't angry?"

Diamond nods, pulling out her phone "Yeah, I just want to go home... sleep it off"

Applebloom's phone pings, a text from one of her friends no doubt

"What the-"

To: Applebloom

From: Diamond

Hi Applebloom. It turns out that I only have a cracked rib. I am on my way home from the clinic now and just wanted ask how you're doing

Applebloom shrugged

Okay I guess, how did you get my number?

A quick reply follows

It's written on the back of your phone. I saw it when you pulled it out earlier

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Of course..."

Yeah, I forgot I wrote it there when I first got it. Anyways, Applejack wants me to be your best friend from now on.

How's that sound for a plan?

Diamond blushes "Is... is she asking me out?"

Gold looks over "Is who asking you out?"

Diamond squeaks, having forgotten the butler's presence "N-nobody! I was just reading a text that she sent me about a guy she likes"

Gold blinks "Mistress Tiara, I have known you your entire life. I can tell when you're lying"

Diamond deflates "Right... Applejack said that from now on Applebloom has to be my best friend... and I thought that meant she was asking me out"

Gold smiles "Well why not ask? It's the most direct way to get an answer"

Diamond nods, typing slowly

Are you asking me out?

A few seconds later, a reply pops up

Do you want me to?

Applebloom blushes, typing furiously

I mean-

Yes

Applebloom paused "What?"

I meant it as a joke

Applebloom sighs, her heart thundering in her chest

...

I need to go to sleep, text you tomorrow

Diamond blushes bright red Why did I say "Yes"?! Is it because of that dream?!

She stands frozen in front of the door to her mansion, staring at her phone

"Mistress Tiara?" Gold calls, placing a hand on her shoulder

Diamond shakes her head "Sorry, spaced out for a second... I'm heading to bed"

Bounding up the stairs, she mutters an apology to a passing maid before throwing herself into her room "... God I am stupid! 'Yes'?!
What was I thinking?!"

Shuffling to her four-poster bed, a chime coming from her phone Applebloom?

Hey DT, how are you doing? I sensed a disturbance in your chakra from here

Diamond pauses, the gears in her damaged mind turning to comprehend the message

"Oh, it's Silver Spoon... why did I think it was Applebloom?" another thought occurs to her Why did I want it to be Applebloom?

Confused, sore, and a bit horny... Chakra? When did you start reading Naruto?

It's the Kama Sutra, eastern spiritualism originating in the middle east. Pick up a book without pictures someday.

And why are you sore and confused? Or horny for that matter?

Too much to explain over text. Facetime me

A few seconds later, Silver Spoon's face fills Diamond's screen "What's wrong?"

Diamond sighs "I got in a fight with Applebloom..."

Silver's face changes from concerned to disappointed "Again? And you couldn't have told me over text?" the bespectacled girl pauses "No... there's something else"

Diamond blushes "Y-yeah... when she knocked me out I had a weird dream"

"Ha ha 'Weird' or weird 'Weird'?"

"Uh... weird 'Weird' it started with me saying how-"

Silver Spoon holds up a hand "Do I need to make myself popcorn?"

Blushing more, Diamond shakes her head "No... I said that is was humiliating being beaten by someone like her..."

Back at the Apple family home, Applebloom is staring at her reflection, rubbing the bruises on her face "Ah hope these go down by
Monday, otherwise ah'll need some of Sweetie's concealer... ick" She shudders at the idea of using a frou-frou material for something like a bruise

Her phone pings "Huh, wonder who'd text me at night... probably scoots alertin' me to her next target"

Hi Applebloom

"Silver Spoon? Wonder why she's talkin' to me" the farm girl quickly sends a reply to her distant friend

Howdy Silver, what's up?

Well, if Diamond were a guy, her.

I think that my theory why she hates or rather hated just you and not Sweetie or Scoots is because she is actually in love with you
and you literally knocked some sense into her namesake. But this is all conjecture at this moment in time so if she makes a move on you...
Don't resist too much.

Applebloom turns this over in her head, translating Silver's words into basic language "Oh! Oh... Oooohhhh..."

So you mean that Diamond hated me so much because she loved me? What is she, a kid with a playground crush?

Applebloom reads what she wrote then types again

Not to say that she's immature! I mean, she is... but... feel free to assist in removing my foot from my mouth

I know what you mean Bloom, but that is exactly what it is. A playground crush that has done nothing but grow since said playground. She will either decide to devote herself to you or become a love struck stalker that will follow you until she either loses interest or dies

So if you aren't a woman of comfortable shoes, I suggest letting her down easy

Applebloom blushes "What do mah shoes have to do with this?"

And by easy, I don't mean kicking her in the ribs and knocking her out cold.

The girl blushes further "Sh- she told her?"

She told me everything in vivid detail... I recorded it so I could show Babs when she gets back from the store

Applebloom shivered "Ah forgot that Silver is shackin' up with Babs... strange how they both seemed to know a lot about each other even though they only met once"

Don't show her! All I need is an awkward holiday where she plucks details from me like a chicken!

Several seconds later, a reply appears, longer than the last

Vivid imagery there Applebloom. A chicken you say? I thought you were the farmhand that milks the cows-

Applebloom's blush deepens

and I thought that Scoots was the chicken (Don't tell her I said that, she will skin me alive and then do god
knows what with my corpse)

And Babs is a very inquisitive person (I know this for a fact) but she will also respect your privacy. Trust me, she won't bother you so long as you don't want to be bothered

Another text appears

And Silver already showed me it. Your secret is safe with us cuz

Applebloom's stomach dropped "D-dammit! Why not send a link to Scootaloo?! She'll get a kick out of it!"

"Get a kick out of what?" Scootaloo asks, looking over Applebloom's shoulder

Applebloom sighs "This thing that's goin' on with Diamond. Considerin' what has happened, you'd hover over me like a buzzard"

"I like to think of myself as a bird of prey like an eagle" Scootaloo says, counting down in her mind 3... 2... 1...

"SCOOTALOO?! Wha- how did you get into mah room?!" Applebloom yells, jumping away from the athlete

"The window, same as always" Applebloom looks to where the girl was pointing and her window was indeed open

Applebloom sighs "Ah need a crazy net like my sister has on her window... keeps Rainbow out of her room"

Scootaloo shrugs "Whatever, that just means I get to create another way in" She grabs Applebloom's phone "So... let's see what's going on between you and Snoberella"

Applebloom pounces on the girl, knocking the phone from her grip "Get off! Get off me!"

"Stop breakin' into mah room and takin' mah phone!" Applebloom yells, pining the much thinner girl to the floor with one hand

Scootaloo squirms, her well- defined muscles no match for the farm girl's well-honed body "Let me go! I gotta pee!"

Applebloom picks up her phone, rolling her eyes "Yeah right. You always use that excuse to try an' trick me into lettin' ya go"

Scootaloo's squirming intensifies "No! I'm serious! I really have to pee! and this is my last pair of clean underwear!"

Sighing, Applebloom releases her friend, the girl sprinting to the bathroom without a word

Diamond rolls in bed, unable to sleep Why can't I get Silver's words out of my mind?

Silver blushed, her eye twitching nervously "S-so you dreamed all that?"

Diamond nodded, a matching blush on her face

Removing her glasses, Silver groaned "I hate it when I'm right sometimes..."

"Silver?"

Shaking her head, she gave Diamond a mix between a happy smile and a pained grin "The reason why you had that dream is so obvious that I won't tell you why but allow me to give you a clue: 'The greatest love stems from the greatest hate'. Think about that"

The girl's face disappeared from Diamond's screen, leaving Diamond in utter darkness

"What kind of crappy love is that?"

I mean... I've hated her since grade school! Could... could that have been love all along?

"I'm not going to get any sleep like this..." Diamond mutters, rolling out of bed

All the signs point to it... "God I'm an idiot" she groans, pulling out her phone

Applebloom mulls over what Silver said Love me? She's hated me since elementary school!

Her phone pings "Must be Babs makin' fun of me again..."

Applebloom,

I don't know if you're awake but I just wanted to say that I think I love you. Silver told me that the greatest love stems from the greatest hate... I think that sums up my hatred for you all these years.

I wasn't lying when I said I enjoyed being humiliated...

Or maybe it was because you did it...

I don't know what it could be. What I do know is that I need to make all those years up to you

I surrender myself you. Starting tomorrow I am your servant to do what you wish until I have earned your forgiveness

Applebloom re-reads the text several times before laying on her back, her mind spinning like a top in a whirlwind "M- mah servant? why?"

Scootaloo laughs "Oh god this is hilarious! No... this is perfect! You can make her do the most degrading things I can think of! I have a journal full of ideas! Some are not necessarily illegal just not in good taste... I'm thinking having her walk around town with one of those shock collars and each time she does something you don't like... ZAP!"

Applebloom looks at her excited friend "Why are you still here?"

"One, I can't climb down trees. Two, I wanted to know what was going on. And three, I'm waiting for Sweetie Belle to get her plush rear up here"

As if on cue, a pale girl walks in, a simple yet elegant white dress reaching just below her knees walks in, pink and light lavender curls framing her unblemished face "Hi Applebloom!"

Applebloom waves tiredly to the girl, Scootaloo waving her purloined phone to her "Diamond says she's Applebloom's sex slave. Any ideas about what we make her do?"

Sitting down, the pale girl ponders, her face screwing into an adorable look of concentration "Apologize? Buy us some nice clothes... Let us go over to her house to hang out?"

Scootaloo groans "No! I meant like putting gator clips on her nipples and attaching them to my scooter's battery, making her walk around town with vibrators stuck in her, and we keep her on the edge so long that she's incapable of anything but begging for release... Oh! put itching powder in her ass and tie her hands in front of her for hours on end! That'll be a good start"

Sweetie blushes bright red "Wh- how do you come up with such perverted ideas?!"

"Internet, duh"

Applebloom sits up "No... I have an even better idea! We ignore it and move on with our lives!"

Sweetie nods and Scootaloo groans "Stop being such a party pooper hayseed"*

Applebloom sighs "She was talkin' to me, not you. So, besides mess with mah life, what else do you girls wanna do?"

"Well I had a feeling that you'd need some of my make up" Sweetie says, pulling out a large bag of cosmetics from nowhere

"Well, I want to strut around nude, maybe get into the cellar until I can't remember who you all are and wake up with a random girl in my arms and a bowl full of dried fruit on my head. So my usual Tuesday best case scenario"

Applebloom groans "How have you avoided being put in jail?"

"I run really fast when I'm naked and the girls wake up without pressing charges but complaining about a sore back. Except that one time I woke up with Pumpkin wrapped in wax paper; nothing but wax paper" she shudders "Luckily, she said I came in drunk and I told her I'd give her 50 bucks if she could get her brother to bake me a blueberry pie and then I started dancing with a cake mixer... before sticking it up my snatch and turning the crank 'cause it was a hand-powered one. She said it looked fun and after Pound ran up stairs to relieve himself, we took turns using cooking tools and assorted contraptions to please ourselves and then built a dragon out of her clothes and the stuff we used before eating the entire pie. I said she'd look cute with a wax paper dress and after some drunk dancing we fell asleep at the foot of the dragon. Pinkie was in the bathroom and recorded the whole thing in HD. I have a copy of it back at my house"

Sweetie had long since fainted and Applebloom's face sported a blush that would make an apple jealous and fire their tanning booth assistant

"What?" Scootaloo asks, cocking her head

"Ah can think of several laws you broke with such predjoo... prejuh... WORD!"

Sweetie sits up, "Prejudice" before falling back down, unconscious

Applebloom nods "That, you broke so many that you could get life in prison several times over!"

"What laws?! All I did was go to Sugarcube corner to get some pie!"

Applebloom groans, rubbing her head "Child pornography, possession of such, abuse of a cake mixer, vandalism, public drunkenness... need ah go on?"

"All circumstantial! And besides, she said it was fun!"

Applebloom groans "Just... go sit in the corner of shame while ah think about this... maybe sleep on it"

"But I-" Applebloom gives her friend an intense glare "Okay, I'll go sit"

"An' while you're up, pick up Sweetie, I don't want her sleeping on the floor" Applebloom commands, the other girl hefting Sweetie off the floor "She weighs like 70 pounds... what does she eat? Clouds?"

Applebloom shrugs "Maybe, wait, 70? that can't be right" she motions for Scootaloo to place the unconscious girl in her arms

As Sweetie is passed over, Applebloom gasps "Holy crow yer right! She's like a dried log! I bet if Big Mac tried to lift her he's launch her into the sky!"

The sleeping girl stirs and burrows closer to Applebloom's chest "Don' wanna go to school sis... wanna stay with you..."

Both girls feel a jolt of a familiar pain, one that that they experience constantly with Sweetie

A "D'aaaawww" moment

Then Scootaloo blinks, looking at her friend's chest "Your knockers aren't even in the same league as Rarity's. More like Twilight's but not as perky"

Applebloom glares at her friend "An' how do you know what Twilight's breasts look like?"

"Rainbow Dash has tons of pictures that I use as reference when I draw my comics. The Twilight and Fluttershy ones are the clearest but the Rarity and Applejack ones are taken a bit farther away and the windows are fogged up sometimes... the Pinkie ones because each boob takes up the entire picture and Rainbow had to have a custom one ordered to get both. Apparently Pinkie is the only one who wants to have her picture taken... Except Twilight or Fluttershy but Rainbow gets them drunk first so they don't say no and those usually have grainy cunt shots... what?"

Once again Applebloom groans "If you don't become a porn director ah'm gonna eat my underwear"

Scootaloo smirks "Well get 'em out. WAZZAM!" Scootaloo roots through her bag and pulls out a glossy DVD "I present to you 'Shared Stones'! My first ever pornographic video!"

Applebloom blinks "No way you directed tha-" Scootaloo roots through her bag, pulling out a binder "My screenplays and scripts"

"... You could've gotten those off the internet"

Scootaloo shrugs and inserts the DVD into Applebloom's player "Watch and learn of my cinematic brilliance"

Two hours later, Applebloom is thoroughly disturbed "That... was disgusting"

"You just don't understand the concept of slime vorarephilia and futanari" Scootaloo says as the credits roll, a picture of her posing nude with the words "A Scootaloo's coop production"

"... 'Coop'?"

"My publicist said that it was an unforgettable name"

Applebloom stands and removes the DVD "What? You want a copy or something?"

Bending the disc in half, Applebloom throws it to the floor and stomps on it

"Or not..."

Author's Note

* (this is Pinkie Pie's random rant about absolutely nothing brought to you by Sugarcube corner)
Pinkie nods "No one likes a party pooper! Except maybe other party poopers. What if a party pooper poops during another party pooper's party? Heh, try saying that three times fast! Whatifapartypooperpoopsduringanotherpartypooper'sparty? Whatifapooperpooperpoop- Ah! I can't say it without giggling!"

This has been Pinkie Pie
After the texting bit my mind just turned this out from nowhere. I laughed as I edited... and this raises many questions about Scootaloo and Rainbow
Stay tuned for more sexy junk that as an asexual I have no right to write... Right?

The date

Applebloom stirs in her bed with a pounding headache, which was not all that uncommon because she bumps her head in her sleep because her bed is too small. But there was one irregularity in her room

The fact that sleeping right next to her is Sweetie Belle, the pale girl's arms wrapped around Applebloom's chest, her head on the farm girl's breast "Mmm... Mommy..." the girl coos, hugging tighter

Applebloom checks her own person slowly as to not rouse the sleeping girl. Her suspicions are confirmed when she finds that she is clad in only her pants and underwear

The same could not be said about the slumbering girl, she had nothing on but a happy look "Stop moving mommy... you're warm..."

On one hand I have confirmed that Sweetie is a very heavy sleeper and dreams about her family.

On another hand, she's nude in my bed and I can't remember what happened after I destroyed that video...

"Sweetie, wake up" Applebloom whispers to the girl

Sweetie whimpers and tightens her grip "Nnoo... lemme sleep..."

If Scoots sees us like this, she'll never let it go or even worse, traumatize Sweetie... again

The girl in question sits up, a tired look on her face "Mernin'... what's fer breakfast?"

Applebloom motions to her friend "Why is Sweetie stark naked in my bed?!"

Scootaloo blinks slowly, still half asleep "Wha... oh right! Well..."

After you smashed my movie (Which was not cool by the way) You said that you needed to forget what you just saw and I suggested that you could go into the secret stashes and drink enough hard cider to wipe the memory away. Well, either that or I hit you on the head with my trusty forget-me-stick AKA Scootaloo's hammer of wooden bonkage.

You groaned and went out to get the cider when Rarity called to tell us that she was having polite company over for the night and the next day and Sweetie would bother them. I agreed and she asked to talk to Sweetie

I told her that she had passed out and that we were watching a movie

Applebloom stares at her friend

"What? I didn't say that she fainted from the movie, just that she had fainted and we were watching a movie! It wasn't a lie, I just gave her the basic details!"

Applebloom groans, trying to free her an arm so that she could face palm "D-Dang this girl's grip is like an iron vise!"

Anyways, I told her that it was cool if she had to stay over or crash with me; I figured that she was going to get some and maybe that guy or gal could dislodge the forest from her rectum.

You came back with a whole keg and two mugs, looking pissed

"Ah got th' cider... already tested it... 's good"

Applebloom is surprised at how well Scootaloo mimicked her accent "You practice that?"

Scootaloo coughs "Why of course not Applebloom! Oh, do you want me to bathe you in cuteness? I'm really good at that" she says, a near perfect recreation of Sweetie belle who muttered into Applebloom's chest

"No, I do actually, Miss Bonbon teaches me how to do it after hours at her shop. Lyra also gives me lessons on how to pick up chicks and please 'em using nothing more than things you'd carry with you..." Scootaloo shrugs "It beats overtime"

While I drank one mugful you had already downed two and after a few minutes, I started to speak my mind.

"I wonder if Sweetie shaves her pubes. A prissy girl like her prolly does"

You were so hammered you agreed and pulled her dress off, as it turns out, she does have big honkers like her sister. After staring for a second, you pulled her leggings off and went on a rant about them for a minute before hiccupping and pulling her panties off.

The pristine skin of her catcher's mitt answered my question quite nicely. And after throwing an arm around her shoulder and holding her up, you yanked your shirt and bra off "Why is it that all th' fancy n' rich folks got massive boobs?!"

I laughed "Yeah! Wait, how big do you think Diamond's are?"

"I dunno... double D's ah think..."

After a few minutes of drunken conversation you fell over onto the couch asleep; being the good friend I am, I carried the keg back to the stash and then carried both of you and your clothes up to your room, and tucked you two in. I was too tired to dress you two so I just went to the closet, pulled out some blankets and a pillow, and slept on the floor until just now

Applebloom raises an eyebrow "You didn't do anything to us while we were passed out?"

Scootaloo raises a hand "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye"

Applebloom nods and motions to Sweetie "Mind gettin' this girl off me so I can feel my legs again?"

Scootaloo nods "Yeah, just let me stretch..." The girl yawns before standing up and bending her back 90° backwards, several pops and cracks emanating from her spine

lifting the blanket off the two girls, Scootaloo snakes her hands under Sweetie's arms "Mmm... milk..."

Sweetie whimpers "N-no... leave me alone Mr. Monster..."

"I'll violate every pore on your virgin body my sweet, sweet snack" Scootaloo says, her voice rumbling like a bad movie monster

The sleeping girl's whimpers turn to whines of pain "Pl-please let me go... ah!" she blinks and looks at Applebloom dreamily "Good morning Applebloom... why am I in your bed?"

"I put you in there Sweetie, you really have a good grip if Applebloom couldn't breakfree"

The girl turns to Scootaloo "I'm not strong... I just-" the girl yawns adorably "I just carry stuff for Rarity like Tom and her rolls of fabric... and I do some martial arts"

Scootaloo smiles "Yeah, if you learn how to cook without setting stuff on fire or it exploding you'll make someone a good wife"

Sweetie smiles sleepily, releasing Applebloom "... Why am I naked?"

Scootaloo coughs "I wanted to get your cup size and check if you were still a virgin and the only way I could do that is when you passed out. Applebloom was already asleep so I wanted to measure hers too. I was too tired to dress both of you so I just put you in bed with her"

Sweetie blushes "Oh... is that all? Okay... where are my clothes?"

Scootaloo roots around under the bed, pulling out a wad of clothes "Here ya go!"

Sweetie takes the ball of clothing and pulls them on, Scootaloo whistling and clapping "It's like a strip tease in reverse!"

Applebloom blinks "You ain't gonna faint or squeak?"

Sweetie blinks "Why? And why are you in my room?"

Applebloom sighs "Do ya remember what happened last night after you came over?"

The girl straightens her dress "I remember trying to apply make-up to you when Scootaloo started one of her stories... and then I woke up here"

Scootaloo stands, flicking some lint off her shirt "I thought you said you were over the sleeping fits?"

Sweetie shakes her head "I'm getting better but it happens every so often... so what's the plan for today?"

Applebloom's phone pings, Scootaloo diving for it while Applebloom pulls on her shirt "Let's see what we got here... 'Good morning Applebloom' How cute! She has your number! 'I was wondering what you have planned for today. If it isn't too much trouble, could I maybe hang out with you?' And she wants to hang out! Bow-chicka-wow-OW!"

Applebloom rubs her fist "Give me back mah phone 'fore ah hit somethin' important"

"My head is important! I keep my brain and junk in there!"

Applebloom takes the phone "Like ah said, important"

Sweetie rubs Scootaloo's head tenderly "I wouldn't hit you Scoots..."

Scootaloo looks up at her friend, a tear in her eye "Thanks marshmallow melons... what would I do without you?"

Sweetie ponders this as Applebloom steps out of the room "Lessee... 'Ah don't think that's a problem, just be prepared for Scootaloo'"

"Nah, me and Sweetie have a prior engagement with Rumble regarding video games. And Rumble hates DT" Scootaloo says, ushering a confused looking Sweetie out the door

Applebloom shrugs "Well that was weird... 'Forget what ah said, Sweetie and Scoots are goin' over to Rumble's so ah guess your stuck with me'"

Diamond zips up her bag as her phone pings. Pulling it over to herself, she reads the message, blushing as she goes

"Oh my god! A whole day! This is going to be so fun! 'Sounds like fun! Now I can really be your servant! Where and when do you want to meet?' Oh I hope I'm not coming on too strong..."

A few agonizing seconds pass before a reply pops up

You weren't kidding about the 'Servant' thing? Wow, I had no idea making it up to me meant that much to you. And Sugarcube corner whenever, I'm heading there now

Diamond smiles "Yes! And to prove to her that I'm serious, I'll walk there..." She turns to her bag, typing a reply "Do I have all the things I need?"

Sounds like a plan, see you there

Applebloom shrugs, slipping her phone into her pocket before grabbing a jacket "Well, hope that Diamond ain't going crazy over that 'repayment' junk"

Diamond struts towards Applebloom, completely unaware of two sets of eyes staring intently at her

"I thought we were going to Rumble's..." Sweetie whines, shifting on a tree branch

"I made that up, besides, Rumble gets a boner whenever you're around. I do too but that's because I know that all that air-headed acting hides a dominant personality waiting to take any number of guys or girls, I can't tell because your perfume throws off the scent of your estrogen. I know your sister is straight considering the number of times Rainbow says she's seen her eyeballing Spike. Off topic I know, but something needs to break the silence of this stake out"

Sweetie blinks "Scent? You can smell orientation?"

"Trick I learned from both Rainbow and sex ed. Gays usually smell like rotten lemons, lesbians like burnt popcorn, straight guys like rancid cheese, or as your sister's high society friends call, 'Fancy' or 'Imported'. Straight girls smell like wet grass after its been mowed"

"And what does Applebloom smell like?"

"Sweat, apples, leather, and burnt sugar. Meaning that she is unaware that she is gay. Diamond smells like perfume most of the time but in gym she smells of burnt sugar too, but hers is stronger so that means that she will possibly be a submissive lover"

Sweetie blinks "And you have a system worked out?"

"Yeah. it's pretty easy if you know what to look for"

"And could anyone learn to do it?"

Scootaloo looks away from her quarry "Sorry, You need to be a huge pervert or a biologist to learn it... What's with the-"

"You smell like burning leaves" Sweetie says, shrugging

"Funny, that's 'cause I'm bi... Never met a guy that works for me though..."

Sweetie pulls out a pair of pocket binoculars from her purse "... Why is Diamond just standing there? Is she nervous?"

"Looks like it. And Applebloom hasn't noticed her either" Scootaloo blinks "Wait, How could you know my smell? I never told you about... it"

Sweetie blushes "I... may read my sister's erotic novels from time to time, mostly trying to keep up with what you say"

Scootaloo smiles "Good for you! Pat yourself on the back!" She delivers a firm pat to Sweetie, knocking her from her perch

"Scoots!" she yells, dangling from a branch

"Oh Shit!" Scootaloo jumps from her branch and lands perfectly, holding out her arms "Let go!"

Sweetie gulps and drops...

Right onto Scootaloo's face

"Owwee..." the girl moans, when something wet moves along her leg "EEK!"

"Sweetie... you need to lay off the clouds, your butt is too bony" Scootaloo says, licking her friend's thigh again

She rolls of, blushing bright red "Sc-scoots!"

Scootaloo sits up, grinning wide "Not that a bony ass is bad, just doesn't give people anywhere to grip besides your knockers"

Sweetie blushes and whispers under her breath I... wouldn't mind you... gripping me...

Scootaloo shrugs and dusts herself off "Need some help up Sweetie?"

She nods and looks towards where Applebloom was "She's gone..."

Scootaloo shrugs "I'm worried more about you"

Sweetie blushes bright again "R-really?"

"Of course! You're so thin and meek that I'm aftraid if you got hurt, it might ruin that porceline skin of yours"

The pale girl's face burns hotter "Th-thank you..."

"Wonder where she- Oh!" Applebloom looks up, Diamond Tiara standing over her "Heya Diamond"

"H-hi... You do know that Scootaloo and Sweetie are spying on us right?"

Applebloom nods "So, whattaya wanna do?"

Diamond smiles, a blush forming on her face "Well... I want to repay you for my cruelty towards you..."

Applebloom sighs "An' ah said that ya don't have to. Let bygones be bygones an' all that" Applebloom smiles "So, what do you usually do for fun?"

"Well, I would be playing video games or practicing my fighting..."

Applebloom raises her eyebrows in amusement "Ah always figured that ya slept 'til noon or sat around surfin' th' web. Ah would be hangin' with mah friends... or keeping Scootaloo out of jail, it depends what type of mood she's in"

Diamond laughs, it sounding different to how it usually sounded Sounds kinda like one of those little blue flutes Sweetie plays when she goes into th' forest... animals seem to like it*

The girl blushes "Wh-what? Is there something on my face?"

"Hm? Nah, ah just noticed how nice your laugh sounds" Applebloom replies, oblivious to how nervous this made the other girl

"W-well if you want to hear more of it..." she shakes her head "Nevermind, have you given any thought to that text I sent you last night?"

Applebloom shrugs "Depends on which one yall're talkin' about. Th' one where ya said that all these years that yall've been mean to me was love seems a bit far-fetched but considerin' where we live... nothin' is too far-fetched" as if to validate her point, Pinkie Pie walks by on her hands, a tray full of milkshakes balanced on her feet "¡slɹıƃ ıɥ"

Diamond blinks "Did... did that sound like she was actually speaking upside-down to you?"

"Best not to think about it. That's th' Ponyville motto anyways" Applebloom says, the toned and yet plush legs attempting to fit into the brightly striped leggings of the girl standing right next to her, a pair of Groucho Marx glasses perched on a curvaceous butt staring at her "Excuse me! But I need to ASS you a question. Do these pants make my face look fat?"

Applebloom turns and blinks "Pinkie, why in th' world are ya walking on ya hands?"

"Simple! Dashie bet me an hour alone doing whatever I wanted to her hair if I worked the entire day on my hands! It does get hard to breath sometimes with my boobs trying to smother me, but this will be a cinch! And I also ran out of clips to hold my shirt up or down... meh" the girl shrugs with her legs "Anyways, here are your milkshakes!"

Bending one leg down and somehow removing her shoe and sock from the other, she removes two perfectly untouched milkshakes, using her toes to pick them up by the handle like a person would hold a champagne glass before walking away towards another table, her shoe and sock somehow placed back on her feet

"... HOW?! I mean, HOW?! No one can be that dexterous! It... it just isn't possible! And if it is, she must be a Yogi or a monk or something!"

"'Ey Boo-boo, how about we go snatch a picanic basket?" Pinkie asks, reappearing beside the yelling girl

"EEYAAH!!" she screams, falling out of her chair

"Diamond! Are you okay?!" Applebloom ask, nearly knocking over her glass which is put steady by Pinkie's foot

After blinking several times, Diamond stares into two large blue pools "I'm sorry I scared you"

"Wh-what are you?" she whispers as Applebloom helps her up

"Pinkie Pie!" the inverted girl chirps, walking away

Diamond shivers "Wh- what?"

"Don't-"

"Think about it, I know" Diamond sighs, sitting back down to drink her shake

After finishing their shakes, the two girls leave

Breaking the silence, Diamond looks at the other girl "I think what Silvy said is right... I think I have loved you for a long time"

Applebloom sighs "Iffin' ya say so... but why? What do ah have that one o' those fancy guys that you could meet through your dad?"

Diamond looks the farm girl What doesn't she have? "A rock hard body created from years of work, a nice voice, and good money sense"

"So... mannish, nice pipes, and cheap?" Applebloom says, smirking at the other girl's blush

"Y-you could look at it that way yes..."

Patting the girl on the back, Applebloom laughs "Yall're fun to tease. So, what now?"

Diamond smiles weakly "A romp among the bedsheets?"

Applebloom stops laughing "What? Why?"

Diamond sighs "Because I love you... and all my hate is turning to love... and I want to love you in anyway I can"

"Well... ah'm not sure how ah feel about that... I understand it, too much from hangin' with Scoots and ah like you... but this is so sudden and... well... ah'm not sure what to do"

Diamond nods slowly "Well... I just wanted to put it out there"

Applebloom sighs "How about we see where the day goes?" Ah can't believe ah just said that

Diamond brightens visibly, smiling wide "That sounds like a plan. Hey, isn't that Snips and Snails?"

Completely oblivious to the approaching pair, Snips and Snails stare at each other, arguing

"I am telling you that the expansion to include metronome creatures is nonsensical! I can't even figure out how to use them!"

Snails snorts "Shows what you are capable of, I on the other hand find it nice that the series is expanding"

"They just had ABC introduced! And Frequenous before that!" Snips retorts

"What are ya two nerds arguin' about now?" Applebloom asks, crossing her arms

They turn, Snails looking down to look at the shorter girl "We are arguing about the newest type of cards in Magic and Wizards. I say that the newest types are interesting, whereas Mr. Classic says that they are pointless"

Snips scoffs "That is putting it lightly! What are they, casts or creatures? It's 'Zoma the spirit' all over again"

Applebloom rubs between her eyes, trying to turn Nerd into Equish. "So... what I'm hearing is that ya don't-"

"I'm with Snails, Variety is key to the game's appeal, like Wirm types. I am still watching the fourth series so I'm new to the metronome idea. Of course I don't use theme decks so what do I know" Diamond shrugs, donning her usual smirk "Anyways, you two still have yet to beat me online but like I say each time, You are getting better, but so am I"

Applebloom stares at her formerly nervous friend speak in such a way "Wha-"

Snips nods "And the Telepath types before that. Man are those things killer on heath points"

"I think that all of the Combination and Frequenous creatures have healing abilities" Snails says, nodding to Diamond Tiara before walking past

Snips smirks "I almost beat you last time 'Duel_Queen_Diamondia' I just need to tweak my deck a little"

"In your dreams you 'Watermallow'!" she yells, both boys erupting with laughter

Applebloom blinks "What the heck was that?"

Diamond looks at her friend "Hm? Oh! I'm sorry about that, it's just that we all play the same card game and they haven't beat me yet"

"Why can't ya be like that all th' time?"

Diamond shrugs "I dunno, I just know them pretty well. And we go to the same gym so there's that"

"Gym? Ah thought that was a place to, as Scoots and Rainbow say 'A place to pick up sweaty girls and guys for a quickie'. Why they thought to tell me that ah haven't th' slightest idea..."

Diamond shrugs and points to a building "That's it right there, wanna check it out?"

Applebloom was floored by the smell, nearly retching "Wh- what on sweet Earth is that smell?!"

"Dozens of men and women trying to burn off beer bellies and mother-fat. I just come here to use the kickboxing- Hey Spotter"

A muscular man smiles at them, skin-tight tracksuit showing every rippling bicep and a sports cup the size of a baby's fist clenching an apple "Welcome Diamond! Who's your friend?"

"This is the youngest of the Apple family, Applebloom"

The man's face turns from smiling to scowling "Applebloom huh?"

"No! It's okay! She's with me!" Diamond says, blocking the giant's march

Land sakes! This guy's taller and more muscular that Big Mac! Applebloom thinks, watching the slender girl halt him

"..." he looks at Diamond then to Applebloom and then back "So... the usual work out?"

"If you're free that is" Diamond says, fluttering her eyelashes

Spotter nods "Yeah, I'm free, let's go... is she gonna join in or watch?"

Diamond turns "Wanna do some kick boxing Applebloom?"

Applebloom shrugs "Why not?"

"What in Sam Hill is this?" Applebloom asks, holding up a pair of pressed shorts

"My spare shorts, sorry if they're too big" Diamond says, slipping a bland grey shirt on

Applebloom shrugs "When in Roam as they say..."

Little did she know that the gym had no uniform, Diamond just wore that to hide in plain sight...

And to watch Applebloom strip

Like I thought, cotton panties... and now for the top... Diamond can barely suppress a squeal as Applebloom pulls her shirt off

Diamond is floored C-cups! Oh god, compared to her I am a cow... Mmh... Milk me Applebloom...

She feels a cool hand on her forehead "You okay Diamond? Ya suddenly went quiet an' now you're burnin' up"

She blinks, blushing at the proximity "F-fine, I was just thinking and it's hot in here"

Applebloom squints and nods slowly "You're lyin'. About what ah don't know... so where do we go?"

Thank god that Applebloom isn't naturally curious

Once again, the mountain of muscle looks down at them "Diamond doesn't need any help, ever kick box before?"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah know how to fight, tussle, and scrap, can't be to hard"

Spotter shrugs "Okay, show me your form"

Applebloom cocks her head "'Form'? You like how ah stand?" She widens her legs, one fist held up and the other held at her waist

"Tae-kwon-do?" Spotter asks

"Somethin' mah brother said would help defend myself. My teacher said ah was a natural but ah figured he says that to everyone. Do ah attack now?"

Spotter nods, Applebloom inhaling and loosening her stance before a quick jab hits the punching bag, sending it to the ceiling

"Uh... my bad?" Applebloom says, rubbing the back of her head

Diamond and Spotter's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets And... and I've been taking those hits for years?! Dear god, I must be near indestructible!

Spotter stares at the cylindrical dent in the ceiling "... We need a heavier bag"

Applebloom punches the new bag, sending it higher than the last "Whoops?"

Spotter's jaw drops "Okay, heavier bag"

"WHUMP!" the next bag nearly breaks through the ceiling "Uh... sorry?"

Spotter's eyes twitch "ANOTHER!"

"CRACK!" the bag breaks through the ceiling, hitting the tiles on the other side

Spotter's whole body starts to twitch, Diamond rubbing the bruise on her ribs in pain "G-Get another!"

"CRACK! CRACK!" this time the farm girl sent the bag through the ceiling twice, the weight of the punching bag pulling down several more tiles "... Ah swear, this-"

"H- HOW?! GET ME THE HEAVIEST BAG WE HAVE!"

Applebloom looks up at the hanging bag, a steel skeleton holding it up "Are ya angry about the other ones?"

Spotter's face is tense, his body twitching uncontrollably "Just try this one..."

Applebloom rolls her shoulders and inhales slowly, before punching the bag, everybody in the entire gym holding their breath as they watched

The bag moved, one of the titanium chains breaking as it swung, heading towards the girl who punched it again, repeating this for several minutes before another chain snaps, the other two buckling with the weight, bending the steel skeleton with an ear-piercing screech that shatters several windows and glasses

"Ah..." Applebloom stares at her slightly bruised fist "Ah guess ah don't know mah own strength... Ah damn, how much is this going to cost?!"

Everyone looks at Spotter who has turned into a silent mess of muscle and surprise "How did- how can- I don't even- I need to go..."

The crowd retreats to what they were doing, several stragglers texting furiously, looking back up every second to take pictures or just stare wide-mouthed at the wreckage of the boxing room and the comically large punching bag

Diamond stares, still rubbing her ribs in phantom agony as they walk around town

"What's with th' look?" Applebloom asks, curious

Diamond gulps "You... you somehow punched a half-tonne punching bag with titanium links and a steel skeleton, snapped two of those chains, and it bent with the bag's weight and you only have a bruised hand. Are you a super hero or something?"

Applebloom blinks "It was heavy lookin' ah just punched it like ah did to you, just didn't hold back. Doesn't take much to snap rusted titanium already straining. Ah just did like ah was told and hit it, A bit more than ah could've thought ah could but ah guess that means ah do have th' Apple family spirit"

What kind of spirit gives you super-human strength?! Well, besides The Specter, Deadman, Uncle Sam, and J.J. Thunder, and his predecessor, Johnny Thunderbolt... except those were aided by 5th dimensional djinns, God I'm a nerd

Applebloom stares at her suddenly silent friend What's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours? Wait, did ah just call her "Pretty"? Ah did! Do... do ah like her? Nah, you'd have to have holes for eyes to not see that she's not pretty... DANGIT! Ah did it again! What the Sam Hill is wrong with my head today?!

Both girls gasp, banishing their thoughts "... What were we talking about?"

"Comics?" Diamond guesses

"How pretty you are?" Applebloom says, covering her mouth with a hand as a blush grew Stupid! Why did I have to say the first dagum thing that popped into my head?!

Diamond blinks "Y-you think..." she gulps nervously My heart won't stop hammering"I'm pretty?" she asks, her voice cracking

Applebloom looks around her "Of course... ya'd have to be blind not to see that ya are... not to say that there's anything wrong blind peop- Mm?!"

Diamond leans in, closing her eyes and pulls Applebloom into a kiss, shutting off the farm girl's rambling

"Just shut up and kiss me" she says, pulling the girl back into the kiss

Okay, Applebloom thinks to herself No one ah know is here... unless their behind me- Oh sweet chestnut this feels good!

Diamond releases Applebloom, the stunned girl rigid "Applebloom?"

Applebloom shakes her head, dispelling most of the shock "Wha- what was that for?"

Diamond blushes "L-like I said before... I love you..."

Applebloom nods "Ah remember... that was... new" she gulps "Can't say ah didn't enjoy it..."

Diamond squeals "Really?!"

"Really... could ya let go of me now?"

Diamond gasps and removes her arms, blushing still "S-sorry! It seemed like the thing to do"

Applebloom rights herself "That's cool, just don't grab me like that... Oh fer' th' the love of..."

Diamond turns around, Scootaloo, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Sweetie Belle who was sitting on the man's shoulders stare at the two.

Scootaloo smirks "Told ya so"

Author's Note

WOW! Lots going on here, and for reference, Spotter looks like a beefier version of Brody Fox
And when I was told by blobmaneatsme that I forgot the title, I saw that I had 69 likes! XD
Dear Luna my sides!

The judgement

Applebloom's body freezes, her brother and sister giving her incredulous looks

Diamond however waves enthusiastically, Sweetie being the only one returning it

Applejack breaks the silence "Ah said be her best friend... not girlfriend..."

Scootaloo shrugs "I think it's cool. This means that we can get super expensive stuff now. What could be bet- HEY!"

Big Mac lifts the smaller girl by the back of her shirt "Shush"

Pouting, Scootaloo raises her arms and falls out of her shirt, grinning "Feel like trying that again Mountain Man?"

Sweetie snorts "Big Mac isn't a man of the mountains, he's a mountain of a man!"

The man in question can't decide whether to be flattered or embarrassed by the girl on his shoulder so he blushes and bites his lip

Applejack sighs "Don't matter what he is. Now please explain what's been going on. because last time ah checked, you two were like... what're two things that don't react well to eachother?" she looks up at her brother

"Water and an alkali?" Sweetie and Big Mac respond in unison

Everyone stares at the pair "Did... did you plan that ahead of time?" Scootaloo asks, still shirtless (and braless)

Sweetie shakes her head "Nope! Great minds think alike"

Applebloom sighs "How come you know what that is off the top of your head, yet you can barely follow what pretty much everyone says?"

Sweetie shrugs "Rarity says I'm special; whatever that means"

Shaking her head, she rolls her wrist "Explain what happened"

Big Mac coughs "Maybe not in th' middle of town?"

Sitting in the apple family living room, Sweetie still perched on Big Mac's shoulder and drinking a box of juice

Applebloom inhales "Ah'm not sure how to explain what happened... ah guess it started last night when ah got a text from Diamond-"

Diamond looks up from a book left on the floor "I think I can tell it, no offense but I'm the one who did most of the talking and leading"

Applebloom nods, motioning for her to speak

"Like Applebloom said, I texted her that I had a cracked rib-" Applebloom winces "- and that I was okay otherwise. She said that you wanted her to be my best friend and I thought that she was asking me out-" she pauses "No... further back..."

Applejack groans "This is gonna be a long story ain't it?"

Sweetie nods "Most likely"

"After Applebloom knocked me out, I had a dream where she humiliated me, called me a cow and roughed me up several times. At her instruction, I got down on my hands and knees, my shirt and bra torn off by her and she began to milk my breasts-"

Big Mac stands up abruptly, walking out of the room, having forgotten Sweetie belle was on his shoulder

Sweetie's head hit the top of the door frame, falling back but still sitting on his shoulder, looking at everyone upside down "I'm okay!"

Everyone blinks "... Ah'm askin' Rarity what's wrong with her. She cannot be that airheaded yet be smarter than me at her age"

Diamond coughs "Anyways, shortening the dream I had, I found out that I enjoyed being humiliated by her. Then I woke up. Big Mac and Gold came in and we left after going to the clinic to get me checked out.

"Then I texted Applebloom and like I said, I thought she was asking me out. When she asked me if I wanted her to be, I said yes before losing my nerve and ending the conversation.

"I called my friend Silver Spoon and told her my dream and she said that 'The greatest love stems from the greatest hate'"

Applejack nods, muttering "What kind of dumb-ass love is that?"

Applebloom nods "Ah know, she texted me too, explaining what she thought and said some kind of nonsense about my shoes. It was about this time that Scoots decided to break into my room"

"You leave the window open, that's pretty much an open do- OW!" She grips her head, steam seeming to rise from it

Applejack looks down at the cringing girl "Ah've heard the exact same shit from Rainbow. Don't bring that perverted logic up again"

"Makes sense to me. I mean, she could have been a robber, you just need to have the habit of closing windows. It's not her fau-OW!" Applejack uppercuts the tanned athlete without blinking "You hush up too feather-head"

Diamond blinks "You know, I could give you the name of a security contractor so that this doesn't happen again. Heck, I'm sure my dad would pay for it himself"

Applejack smiles "Nah, we got a good system already, 'Punch first, then if they ain't down, punch and kick some more'"

Rainbow jumps and lands on her butt, legs crossed "Trust me, the system works. I can tell you that from exper-OW! What did I do?!"

"That's fer fillin' Scootaloo's head with yer nonsense" She slams her fist on both the girl's heads "That's fer nothin' so watch out*"

Both girls grit their teeth, trying not to tear up

Diamond shakes her head "Does this happen often?"

Applejack smirks "Let's put it this way, th' day aint complete 'less a feather-head is punched"

Rainbow winces "It's sad but true, last week she came into my house at like ten in the evening just to clock me"

"That's cause y'all raided mah refrigerator! An' stole a bottle of Mac's cookin' wine!"

Rainbow shrugs "A rip-off is what it was, tasted like that stuff Rarity drinks except sour"

Diamond coughs "May we continue our story?"

Bonking Rainbow and Scootaloo again, she nods

"After wrestlin' my phone from Scoots, ah got another text from Diamond sayin' that she was sorry for all those years she had been mean to me, said that she loved me an' that she wanted to pay me back for all the things she'd done. Then Sweetie came up and we talked for a few minutes until Scoots decided to regale us with one of her stories of drunken nights"

"So? I get drunk every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday!" once again she receives a fist to her head

"Durin' the story Sweetie fainted and after Scoots made us watch one of her horrible porn movies-"

"Hey! I thought it was great!" Rainbow yells, dodging the oncoming fist "Hah! Missed me hayse-Urf" Applejack punches her, before making her sit up right "Stop talkin' less' ya got somethin' of importance"

"She apparently carried us to bed, ah havin' fallen asleep durin' the movie. Sweetie was still out cold so she put us both in my bed and slept on the floor

"Ah woke up the next morning and got another text from Diamond an' after Scoots took Sweetie to go meet with Rumble, ah suggested that we meet at Sugarcube corner where Scoots thought it was a good idea to spy on us from a bare tree.

After movin' out of sight, me and Diamond talked for a while, got some milkshakes-"

"I think you need to get your friend Pinkie checked out. She seems... eeehhhh..." Diamond shivers, lacking a word to describe what she saw

"We tried. She's just Pinkie Pie, and that's all there is to know"

Diamond nods slowly "Okay... I said that I would show her the gym I worked out at and after that we were walking and I started thinking about books I like and Applebloom was thinking about how pretty I am"

Both girls blush, Rainbow and Scootaloo silently fist bumping before receiving matching fists to their heads

"Ah was just wonderin' what ya'll were thinkin' about in that pretty little head of yours!" she blushes more "N-not that I thought you were pretty before- I mean you are! You are pretty! An'... please feel free to stop me"

Applejack nods slowly "That's when we saw ya... okay, so in th' span of less than a day, y'all went from punchin' and kickin' to huggin' and kissin'? I only know one person who can even begin to explain how that works, an' ah'm constantly dodgin' her traps so... to make sure ah don't come back covered in make up and glitter, ah'm takin' these two with me" she wraps both arms under the sitting girls' arms and carries them like someone would a barrel under their arm

"... Does super strength run in your family like the speed force?"

Applebloom blinks "th' what force?"

Diamond shakes her head "Sorry, something from a book" That was a close one, don't want her thinking I'm a dork... which I am, I am the undisputed queen of the nerds in several cities but still, don't need her to know that

Applebloom stares at her friend "You're not tellin' me somethin'..."

Diamond jumps "N-never mind! Want to go watch them get beautiful?"

Applebloom grins "Of course"

When they arrive, Rainbow and Scootaloo are strapped into chairs, Rarity wearing a white apron and lab coat, her hair pulled back into a bun, her usual glasses replaced by fashionable goggles.

"What is she supposed to be? The newest edition to S.T.A.R. labs?" Diamond asks

Applebloom once again stares at her friend "What are you talkin' about?"

"N-nothing! I'm not saying anything!"

Applebloom sighs "You know ah'll figure it out anyways right?"

Rarity turns, the girls' reflection in the goggles staring back at them "Hello girls, I'm a bit busy so unless you want to watch me operate, I'd suggest coming back tomorrow, It might take me all day to finish this. Maybe longer"

Rainbow's eyes roll "Yeah right! Applejack will free us when she leaves! Right Applejack?"

"You'll never get away with this Doctor Strange! I have something you don't, allies" Batman says, struggling to escape

Applejack grins, her eyes half open "Oh no, ah don't want to ruin this very delicate procedure. Continue Doctor Belle"

The Scarecrow grins down at the two of them, grinning under his burlap mask "Oh please continue with the examination doctor. I wish to see what they fear!"

Rarity smiles "Thank you Applejack, I was hoping that one of my traps would catch the dynamic duo, but it seems that my friends would deliver them wrapped up like Christmas presents!" She lifts a leg up and squeals "This is what I've been waiting for! The chance to work on these two! Let's see what's under that mask of yours, shall we Dashgirl?"

"Thank you Doctor Crane, I will see that I keep my end of the deal. You may have allies, but you also have more enemies! And to think that none of my traps could catch you, when I should have waited for one of my allies to deliver you two wrapped like Christmas presents!" Doctor strange grins at the struggling pair, their faces reflected in his glasses "This is what I've been waiting for my entire career, to finally see how the dynamic duo works!"

He looks down at the captured heroes, his grin still as wide as ever "And now let's see what's under that mask of yours, shall we Batman?

"No! Someone! Anyone! Help!" Scootaloo yells, writhing in her seat

"Oh be quiet you, I have special plans for you, oh faithful sidekick" Rarity says, smiling wickedly at Scootaloo

"You'll lose just like you always do. We may not have any allies here, but we are strong enough to beat you ourselves" Robin says, calm as a cucumber

"Be silent you child! I have a special 'Treatment' in mind for flightless Aves like yourself" Strange says, returning his attention to Batman

Applebloom waves her hand at her dazed friend, her eyes unfocused "Hello? Diomond? Ya in there?"

A worried looking Poison Ivy waves a hand in front of Magpie "Wait, Magpie was taken down a long time ago, and why would Ivy work with a guy like Strange? She'd want to torture Batman herself" Diamond mutters under her breath, the trance broken

Applebloom snaps her fingers, Diamond blinking several times "What? What happened to my comic book?"

"Comics?" Applebloom asks, Diamond's face heating up at the close proximity

"Uh, I said coronets! I thought I had coronets in my bag" Diamond says, leaning closer for a kiss

Applebloom shrugs "Haven't the slightest clue what those are an' don't wanna know. Come on, we don't wanna miss the show!"

After several hours of screaming and hollering, Rainbow and Scootaloo slump in the chairs, sweaty and exhausted

Rarity smiles sweetly "Feeling better having gotten rid of all that energy?"

Rainbow looks up and spits on Rarity's goggles "Screw... you... in the ear..."

Rarity shrugs, pulling the angry woman's shirt and off and wiping off her glasses, Rainbow clad in only a sweaty sports bra "Give me back my shirt!"

The elegant doctor shakes her head "I'm afraid that such an abhorrent article of clothing must be disposed of as hazardous waste. Oh Assistant~"

Spike walks out from the back room, a similar get up on "Yes my love?"

Applejack shakes her head "Still can't believe that Spike got Rarity's heart... this world don't make sense no more"

Kissing his cheek, she points to the shirt "Be a dear and bring the hazmat bin"

He walks away and returns to with a bright red barrel which the shirt is dropped into

Diamond stares at them, her eyes glazing over again

Thank you Kronk. Now stand to the side while I do evil"

"Riiiiight..." Kronk says, walking away

She shakes her head If she says 'Pull the lever' I'm gonna die

"And when you get done with it all, remember to put it down the chute and pull the lever to activate the incinerator" Rarity says, the tall, muscular man saluting

That's it, Imma gonna die now Diamond falls onto her back, laughing uncontrollably

Both Apples stare at the laughing girl, clutching her sides with tears going down her face "Is she gonna be okay?"

"From what ah understand, Diamond has a weird brain that makes her lose focus and say weird things. I think she just watches too much TV" Applebloom says, starting to get used to the girl's outbursts

Scootalo pants, her own shirt damp with sweat "Are... are we going to die Rainbow?"

Rainbow grins, trying to look cool "No way Squirt, We've got a friend coming to get us any minute now..."

As if on cue, Pinkie slams the door open, wearing a bright red spandex suit with "P!" on the chest, her hair standing on end with a lighting bolt going up it, and blue skin "Your torture of my friends ends now! And we'll get to the fight scene right after this message folks!"

The author is in no way responsible for nostalgia and asphyxiation caused by the references so far in this chapter
Seriously, We at Madcat comics and stories©®Ω♂♀☺♥♦♣♠ do not want any law suits, unlawsuits, business suits, casual suits, leisure suits, pan suits, pinstriped, or otherwise. We also do not want to be sued, sown, suede (Unless it's our blue shoes, in which case, we're cool with that), hemmed, reamed, patched, stitched, quilted, knitted, folded, spindled, bent, or anything else.

If you want to sue someone, Go after Spielberg, he's got lawyers so good that they might as well be cartoons (Trust us, we know)

And for the trouble of reading this message, I have picture of some boobies

Have a wonderful day and remember, we are not responsible.

AT. ALL.

Rarity gives the girl an incredulous look "What in the name of fashion are you wearing?"

She grins wider, and pulls back a gloved fist and punches the chair Rainbow is stuck in, denting it

Rarity gasps "How did you dent Titanium?! That's not possible!"

Pinkie grins and jumps over to Scootaloo's chair, winding back her fist when she is cut off by Spike with a pole "Oooo! Are we gonna fight? Are we gonna fight? Huh huh huh?!?!?!" she asks, jumping up and down

"I guess we are..." Spike says, thrusting the pole towards Pinkie

She pulls a banana out, one hand behind her back, chest puffed out "Bye bye!" she squeezes the end of the banana, the soft fruit splattering over his goggles, blinding him. Pinkie throws the peel under his feet, Spike flipping in the air before landing on his back

"Ooohh..." he groans

"Spike!" Rarity gasps, her face turning from concern to anger "You. Will. PAY!" her lab coat rips open, crystals from around the boutique flying towards her, giving her a giant pair of hands and feet that make her look like something right out of a video game "En garde!"

Pinkie looks at the towering woman covered in crystals, a smile on her face "OOOOOO!!! Neato! Can I have a High five?" she lifts her hand

Rarity grins, "Yes you can my dear" Pulling her hand back, she smashes Pinkie, but the blue girl quickly jumped up to Rarity's face

"Too high!" she chirps

Rarity swats at Pinkie with her other hand, the girl pulling out a giant iron weight and plummets, the weight falling on Rarity's foot "Too low!"

Roaring in pain and frustration, Rarity tries to sandwich the girl between her hands, but Pinkie dodged and runs up Rarity's arm and grabs her face "Kissy smoochie time!"

Rarity tries to pull the girl off, but Pinkie holds on, Kissing Rarity's forehead before head-butting her, the crystals falling apart as Rarity loses consciousness

After freeing Scootaloo she salutes and runs away, making "Whooshing" noises as she does

Applebloom stares at her friend who giggles before blinking "Wh-Where'd Pinkazoid go?"

Applejack inches away from Diamond, Applebloom offering a hand "Y'all had one of your distant moments..."

Diamond blushes, accepting the offered hand "S-Sorry, overactive imagination..."

Applebloom shrugs "It's cool, so what was that muttering about?"

"Uhhh... I imagined Pinkie Pie as a cartoon character and she beat up Spike and Rarity before freeing Rainbow and Scootaloo... Pretty stupid huh?"

Applebloom blinks "Uhhh... that is what happened"

Diamond sits up, taking in the carnage of the store

Spike staring at the ceiling in a daze, Rarity unconscious, nude, and covered in a few crystals, and Rainbow and Scootaloo massaging their wrists

Diamond rubs her eyes, the scene not changing in the least "I... I need to lay down... carry me"

Applejack chokes, laughing at Diamond "Ah'm not carryin' ya"

Diamond shakes her head "I meant Applebloom"

The girl in question blushes bright red "M-me?! Why would ah..."

Diamond pouts, holding her arms out

Must... stay... strong... Applebloom thinks to herself, steeling her nerve

"Please?"

GOD DAMNIT! Sighing, she lifts Diamond, the girl throwing her arms around Applebloom's neck

"Thank you" Diamond coos, nuzzling Applebloom's chest Huh, she doesn't smell like apples...

Applebloom's blush deepens "St-stop that... ah'll drop you"

Diamond looks up, an innocent look on her face "I'm just trying to be affectionate with my girlfriend"

"Girlfriend"? Applebloom pauses, the gears in her mind whirring "Girlfriend"? Am ah her girlfriend? I mean, she did kiss me earlier, and ah liked it... I liked it a lot. She says she's in love with me but I've also fought her for years! Am ah... are we even meant to be? Applejack doesn't seem to have a problem, neither does Big Mac... Sweetie says it's a good thing and Scootaloo thinks with her pants instead of her head. Do ah even like girls?

Duh, you kissed one and haven't been able to keep your mind of her since you met her! And you think she's th' prettiest thing ya ever saw! And she's honestly devoted to you...

Ah guess ah am her girlfriend... no, not "Ah guess" ah AM her girlfriend! But ah need to know somethin' first

I turn away from the door and walk over to Rarity

"Y'all still breathin?" Applejack asks, poking Rarity's side with a stick

Rarity moans "Fine darling, nothing damaged but my pride... and maybe my forehead..."

Applejack picks up a crystal "Now how in th' world did you do that thing with these crystals?"

"Reactinate. A special crystal that reflects the emotions of the one who placed the enchantment. Twilight said that she didn't have a use for it so she said that I could use it for some dresses' security. I think I may have lost my temper when Pinkie hurt Spike"

"May have?"

She squeaks "Okay, I did lose my temper... how is Spike by the way?"

"Urgh... sore... and I smell like bananas..." he groans, sitting up

Applejack shrugs, helping them both up "Now, about that question I had..."

Rarity cocks her head "Oh dear, I never gave you the chance to ask did I? I was so happy that I got both of them at the same time I completely forgot! Please forgive me Applejack"

Applejack waves a hand "Nothin' to be ashamed about. Now My sister and Diamond... 'parently they love each other"

"Ah do not! I mean- OW!" Diamond nips Appleblooms boob, flush with surprise "Wh-what?"

Applebloom sighs "Sorry, habit"

Diamond snorts and pulls herself closer to Applebloom's face "Kiss me and prove it"

She shrugs and kisses Diamond's nose "See?"

Diamond huffs and lowers herself, nuzzling into Applebloom's breasts again

Applejack gives them a confused look, an eyebrow disappearing into her hat "Like ah said, love each other"

Rarity claps her hands, a few more crystals falling off "That's wonderful! Finally that petty rivalry has turned into something good!"

Applejack sighs "That's the problem Rares, this change happened pretty much overnight. Ah'm just worried this is a hormonal thing that'll blow over and when it does, th' rivalry will come back worse. You're th' only love expert ah know and ah wanted your opinion"

Spike groans "Why not me? I spent most of my childhood chasing her, I have more experience in love, no offense Rarity"

Rarity chuckles "He's right you know, now if you'll excuse me, I need to nurse this headache"

Applebloom walks over to Spike, Diamond still burrowing into her chest "'Sup?"

Spike nods "'Sup?"

"Now as you can see, she's tryin' to dig into my chest, not that ah mind. Ah just wanna know what you think about this"

Spike looks at them, then Rarity, then Applejack, then himself, then back at them "I kinda saw this coming in all honesty. Especially since I tutored both of you in middle and high school. So I'm happy to see that we were right"

Applebloom stares at Spike, Diamond looking away from her eskimo kissing "What are you talking about?"

"Me, Babs, Silver, Cheerilee, Granny Smith, Filthy Rich, Big Mac, and Gold Key. After you two graduated from Middle school, everyone who had an idea of what to do gathered in the basement of Sucarcube corner. Me, Babs, and Silver had the idea first, Babs always on speaker phone because she couldn't be there. Silver let slip to Cheerilee its existence and she invited Big Mac with her. After the first meeting, Granny found out because she can read Big Mac like, as she put it, 'The farmer's almanac' And I've read that and even I have trouble sometimes, but I digress. She went to Mr. Rich and when he couldn't come, Gold came in his place. After maybe a year of meeting once a week, we decided that you had a volatile love-hate relationship that would end up with either both of you realizing you love each other, or one or both of you six feet under"

They all stare at him "Babs' words, not mine"

Applebloom clears her throat "So all of ya knew?"

Spike nods "In a sense, and we all kept on hinting at it all through High school but both of you were too oblivious. So Gold came up with a last resort plan. If neither of you could get the hint, we would manually push you two together"

"Wait, yesterday?!" both girls ask, Applebloom having forgotten about Diamond in her arms and nearly dropping her

Spike nods "We pooled our money and rented a small house far away from the town. Big Mac Decided that it was 'do or die' time and they took you to that house. You know the rest. We actually had a meeting last night. but in the middle of it, Silver put the recording of you on the speaker... needless to say, I was surprised that your imagination was that vivid and depraved. Babs however was laughing like a maniac and Big Mac and Cheerilee, were speechless. So after Babs stopped laughing, she said that they were texting both of you at the same time. She read off the texts, we told her what to say. You know the rest... I sense both of you want to punch me"

Applebloom sighs "Later, when you least expect it... Diamond? What are you-" Diamond stretches one arm and clocks Spike, sending him flying "Ow... I deserved that... I'm just going to lay here until I can feel my face again... or when my teeth stop rattling, whichever comes first"

Applebloom walks out of the shop, Diamond still in her arms "Ya didn't need to punch him"

"I know, I just wanted to. So... what are your fetishes?" Diamond asks, resting her head on Applebloom's chest

"... Ain't those the things nuns wear?"

Diamond laughs "Yes, but that's not what I meant. What turns you on? Get's you wet, hot under the collar... tell me, and I'll do it"

"Oh..." Applebloom blushes "Girls ah think"

Diamond sighs "Not what I meant again, but getting closer" She rubs her cheek on Applebloom's breasts "I like to be humiliated by you... I also like improvised toys and firm breasts, big enough I can hold them in my hand yet small enough that your back doesn't hurt. That's what I meant"

Applebloom's face now matches her name "F-feet... ah like feet. Ah don't know why, but ah do. Ah get aroused from foot commercials sometimes... I even have a subscription for magazine about feet... but ah use Sweetie's address for it" she looks down at Diamond "That's not weird is it?"

Diamond stares, wide-eyed "That is... one of my fetishes too... but I've always wanted to be the one being footed. Wait, which magazine? 'Leg sex', 'Leg show' or 'leg world'?"

Applebloom stops "Th' fact that you know the exact name of three that ah never heard of scares me"

Blushing, Diamond shrugs "I have a lot of time, a lot of money, and no one to hang with in the real world. Don't judge me"

"... Shoe sale catalogues, Sweetie and Scoots think I'm looking for cheap shoes"

Diamond stares "M-me too... and 'Leg sex' has the closest thing to actually good feet pictures by the way"

Applebloom grins weakly "So... wanna go-"

Diamond grins, hugging Applebloom (Or her neck rather) "I'll go anywhere with you... And I have a few ideas of how we can both have fun..."

Applebloom gulps "Ah sure hope ah don't regret this"

Author's Note

*My host's dad does this a lot
The return of Diamond the nerd!

I wish I was making up those magazine names, I really wish I was, but alas, I am not
Also, I am working on a comment driven story: Here's a link

The release

"Keep going, My house is at the end of the road" Diamond says, pointing to a mansion

Applebloom pauses "That is your house?! Ah always thought some kind of crazy rich snob lived there- not that ya are a crazy rich snob! Ah mean, you are in a sense and- Ah'm doin' it again"

Diamond laughs, nuzzling Applebloom's chest god she is so cute when she's flustered... and how her accent gets thicker when she's nervous!

Sensing Diamond's thoughts, she pokes the girl's side with a finger "Ah can tell you're thinkin' ah'm cute or somethin'"

Diamond smiles "I was... and what are you going to do about it?"

Applebloom opens he arms, Diamond falling onto the ground "Owweee..."

"That's what ah'm gonna do" she says, walking away

Diamond follows, rubbing her butt "That hurt..."

"You asked what ah was gonna do"

"That doesn't mean do it!" Diamond yells, raising her arms as if to further her point

Applebloom smiles "Ah know that. Ah just wanted to get back at you for making me carry you"

Diamond crosses her arms, huffing "Not cool"

She shrugs "Can't please you all th' time"

But you will soon... just need you in my room and then- Diamond's mind screeches to a halt Oh god my room... She'll drop me faster than a mana card when she sees my room! "Applebloom!"

She jumps "What?!"

"We shouldn't go to my house! the... the..." Think stupid! "The maids! They'll hear us and then they'll tell my dad!"

Applebloom blinks "And that's a bad thing? Ah'm pretty sure that he already knows... that whole group they had goin' on?"

"Uh... Well he might not approve of me having..." she shivers in excitement "Foot sex"

"Then that's his problem. What aren't you telling me?" Applebloom asks, crossing her arms

Diamond sighs "I... if you see my room, you'll think I'm a weirdo or a freak... and then you'll lea-Mmmhh..." Applebloom grabs Diamond, kissing her passionately

"Ah don't care. You shouldn't judge someone because of what they like or don't. You should know that real well"

Diamond nods, pulling her keys out and trying to hold her lust in until they reach her room "O-okay... I'll let us in"

Applebloom looks around the sparse entryway, Completely lacking paintings and awards and decorations "Thought there'd be more... stuff"

Diamond shakes her head "No, my dad doesn't like flaunting his wealth... something I only just started doing"

She shrugs "Fine, less things to draw mustaches on"

Diamond whips around "you wouldn't... would you?"

"Scoots would, so don't let her out of your sight"

She nods "Sound advice..." walking up the stairs, Diamond leads Applebloom to a door with a simple plaque

Diamond's room

"Fancy"

Diamond blushes, opening the door "Y-yeah... Silver kept getting lost when she came over so I had this installed"

Applebloom shrugs "That makes sense, ah me- holy..."

Looking around the large room, Applebloom took in the numerous shelves packed with books, posters of costumed people, boxes of action figures (Not dolls! Except for the ones that were dolls), a giant flat screen with countless devices attached to it, a strange looking computer covered by knickknacks and bric-a-brac. An entire wall was covered with what appeared to be a series of hand-held devices and small cases. On the other side was a wall of game cases, every color and size sorted with obsessive organization. Between both of these walls was a four poster bed that could hold 5 people comfortably.

"... Holy flaming shit on a fucking rusty stick..." Applebloom mutters, taking in the obscene amount of things in the room

Diamond however nervously walks over to the bed, sitting down with a blush "Y-yeah... like I said, too much time and money"

"I mean... I thought Scoots' man-cave was massive but... an' all this stuff is yours?"

Diamond nods, "Y-yeah..."

"That's... impressive"

"What?" Diamond asks, standing up

"Ah mean, ah haven't the slightest clue what most of this stuff is, but it looks cool" she picks up a book from the floor "'Chive Barker's Essential Hellraiser volume 10'? What?"

Diamond jumps on Applebloom, knocking the book from her hands "I love you!!!"

Struggling, Applebloom tries to fight off the girl "Ah know! Let go of me! Ah can't breathe!"

Diamond releases her, grabbing Applebloom's hand, leading her to the bed "Come on Applebloom!"

Sitting Applebloom on the bed, Diamond gives her a seductive grin "Now for the pre-show..."

"Pre-show"? What is she- there goes her top! Applebloom thinks, Diamond tossing her shirt onto the floor

Diamond puts her hands above her head, shaking her body like a sensual dancer*, her hips gyrating hypnotically. She lowers her hands to her waist, slowly snaking around her torso, and undoing her belt, the gyrating slowly lowering her pants revealing her soaked panties, the fabric sticking to her pelvis leaving little to the imagination.

Applebloom's face heats up like an electric blanket Oh my god oh my god oh my god!! She's... she's Stripping for me! Oh wow... did... did I do that to her?

Diamond steps out of the now fallen pants, her body still gyrating slowly as she walks over to Applebloom "Good afternoon mistress"

Applebloom can barely suppress a shudder of excitement, Diamond softly pushing her onto her back and positioning her parallel to the head

"Your feet must be very sore from all that walking, fighting, and carrying me... so very sweaty..." Diamond coos, tracing her fingers around the mouth of Applebloom's shoe "I know that I'm not as practiced in this as I want, but I want you to enjoy it"

Several thoughts shoot through Applebloom's head This is happenin'! Who knew she could this sexy?! Ah have less of an idea what's goin' on than she does!

Diamond pulls Applebloom's boots off, somehow doing so without untying them and bites the top of her sock, making eye contact with Applebloom as she pulls the sock down, doing the same to the other one

A twinge of apprehension passes through Applebloom, her feet exposed to the air

Diamond coos "Such pretty feet, but so very dirty... but don't worry, I'll clean them" she takes an experimental lick of Applebloom's arch, sending a chill and a wave of excitement through the girl

"Did you like that?" Diamond asks, Applebloom's hesitant nod the only answer

Grinning, Diamond puts Applebloom's feet together and takes another lick, Applebloom shudders, her mind blank of thoughts

Diamond wraps her tongue around each toe, nibbling on the ends experimentally, Applebloom moaning in pleasure Okay, so far so good... I guess her sweat does taste like apples... salty ones

She takes short licks off of Applebloom's heel, the taste stronger there I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I haven't read about how third base goes... wait! That's it!

Diamond grins and sits up, Applebloom looking at her with half-open eyes "What's goin' on?"

"Oh an idea I just had, one that will allow us both to be happy" she grabs a chair and motions for Applebloom to sit on it

Applebloom warily does so, confused about the plan

But it is made obvious by Diamond laying on the floor, her soaked lips right under Applebloom's feet "Would you mind... you know..."

NOPE! nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!!! Applebloom stares at Diamond's happy, excited face, reminding her of a little girl about to get a special present Maybe it won't be too... "Strange" she thinks, lowering her foot onto the cloth

Diamond coos, her cheeks warming again "Gr-grind it... pulverize me..."

Applebloom's face heats up, putting more force into her leg, wet sounds emanating from the girl's folds mixing with her groans of pleasure.

Just imagine it's a bucket of grapes for apple wine... just imagine it's a bucket of gra- "Whoa!" Applebloom gasps, Daimond having taken her other foot and placed it on her stomach "Come on, I know you've wanted to crush me... just... don't be too gentle?" Diamond asks, giving Applebloom a pleading face that would make the most miserly person give her hundreds of dollars

Gulping, Applebloom nods, putting weight and pressure on her other leg, tracing Diamond's ribs with her toes Okay, she's not crying out in pain... that's good she thinks to herself, a loud squeak emanating from the girl underneath her

Diamond tries to hold in her scream of pleasure as she finally came, having kept herself on edge all day, her eyes rolling into the back of her head

Applebloom can't hold in her laugh at how Diamond looked, her trepidation gone for a few seconds until Diamond grabbed her ankle, causing her to land on her butt, hitting Diamond's pelvis

"What the heck was that about?" she asks, rubbing her butt

"I needed to clean your feet, and there's only one way to do that" Diamond says, grinning mischievously at Applebloom

Before Applebloom can answer, Diamond takes the foot into her mouth, licking between the toes and humming in pleasure as she does

Applebloom's mind turns dark Yes! Clean my feet you miserable excuse for a harlot! This is even more than one such as you deserves!

Completely oblivious to Applebloom's thoughts, Diamond pops the toes out of her mouth and gives Applebloom a grin before licking down the foot, lost in her pleasure clouded mind

Applebloom raises her other foot and rubs it on Diamond's cheek, the girl snapping out of her trance with a squeak "Wh- what? Did I do something wrong?"

"Nah, Jus' givin' you a kiss" Applebloom says, rubbing harder

Diamond coos and places her hands on the foot, rubbing it on her cheek with a happy smile "Feels so nice to be loved..."

What?! She likes this?! Fine, ah got another idea Applebloom grins wickedly "Strip and lay on your back again"

Diamond's eyes glimmer and she does so, an expectant smile on her face

Raising one leg, she places it unceremoniously on Diamond's throat, another on her chest "I can kill ya like this... what are ya gonna do?"

Diamond's eyes widen and she blinks, her eyes full of seriousness "I will lay here and take whatever you think I should. I mean, I did torture you and your friends everyday for more than 10 years, I already gave you my heart and my body. If you desire my life, take it, I'll be happy to spend the rest of your life with you in spirit"

Applebloom flinched and jumped off Diamond, her mind no longer dark "Wha- Oh god I was gonna kill you! What's the matter with me?!"

Diamond pulls Applebloom into a hug "It's okay, that's just all that pent-up malice and hate that you had. I thought this might happen when I saw how strong you were, I figured that you pictured the punching bag as me or something, and if you wanted to show me that I needed to pay for what I'd done, I would gladly do so. I know it's confusing, but eventually it will go away... or not, I mean, I have never been so turned on in my life!"

Applebloom looks at the girl hugging her "you... you were?"

Diamond grins, inhaling the smell of Applebloom's hair "Of course! like I said, I get off on humiliation and when you were standing over me, holding my life in your hands, I wanted to scream in ecstasy! I have such a raging lady boner right now"

Applebloom's mind stops again Okay... ah... ah have no idea what is going on but ah am too horny to care

Diamond releases her from the hug "Do you want me to please you even more?"

Applebloom nods enthusiastically, her hands moving towards her own pants when Diamond clicks her tongue "Ah-ah-ah~ I am going to do that. So just sit back, relax, and let me work my magic"

Diamond doesn't wait for a response, unbuckling Applebloom's belt with a flack of the wrist, one hand unzipping her pants and the other gliding up her shirt, the buttons parting as she goes

I gotta ask how she does that later... Applebloom thinks to herself, her shirt yanked off by Diamond

Pulling the jeans off Applebloom, a subtle scent hits her nostrils "Oh my~ I think I've found my new perfume" she coos

Applebloom gasps as Diamond traces her slit through her panties

"So... on or off?" Diamond asks, cupping one of Applebloom's breasts

"O-off..." Applebloom stutters, fighting off the urge to moan

Diamond grins and pulls the panties down toned legs, holding them up to the light before throwing them into the growing pile of clothing. standing a little, she removes Applebloom's bra with a flick of the wrist, catching them and then tossing them "Just FYI, I practice this when I'm bored"

Applebloom nods dumbly, deciding to ask later What type of person practices undressin' others for fu- OH GOD!

Diamond traces her exposed slit, delighting in the reaction it made "my, you really are sensitive aren't you? I guess you don't really pay much attention to yourself..." She flicks Applebloom's clit "Which is exactly what I'd expect"

"Sh-shut up... between work an' keepin' Sc-scoots out of jail... ain' got ti- Whooo!" Diamond slips a single finger in, cutting Applebloom off "Shhh... talking is for later, moaning is for now"

Applebloom nods, Diamond slipping another finger in and rubbing the tender flesh inside slowly, her own moistening as she does so. Quickly grabbing one of Applebloom's breasts, she kneads the areola with her hand and massaging it with soft squeezes, alternating in no particular pattern, her own excitement growing as she listened to the near silent whimpers and moans Applebloom was giving off She looks like a mewling kitten! No... a SEXY kitten!

Pulling her fingers out, Applebloom moans, cracking one eyelid open "Why'd ya sto-" Diamond grins and holds her fingers apart, a small web of fluids between them

"I just wanna know how you taste" she licks middle finger slowly, Applebloom's eyes fixed on it

Diamond hums and smiles at Applebloom, holding her index finger out "Wanna taste?"

Applebloom nods, Diamond's finger slowly entering her mouth, her tongue licking it hungrily I can't believe I'm doing thi- Whoa! I taste... She sucks a little, her fogged brain processing the taste in her mouth Red delicious and... Fuji!

Diamond pulls her finger out, lifting Applebloom's chin with it "Hi there"

"H-howdy?"

Diamond cups Applebloom's chin, pulling her into a kiss

Applebloom leans in, her eyes closing, a content hum emanating from her throat

Diamond moves her free hand to Applebloom's pelvis, rubbing the stubby mons** teasingly

Applebloom pulls back "Jus'- jus' do it already..."

Diamond smiles "I'll do you one better, I know how to do this, I read a lot of hentai"

She lowers herself to Applebloom's lips, spreading them with her fingers before taking a lick, Applebloom moaning in approval

Moving her mouth closer, she removes her hand and positions it above her nose, hovering over Applebloom's swollen clit before slowly licking with her flaccid tongue, Applebloom's eyes shutting in pleasure

Diamond wiggles her tongue further in, her fingers descending on the enlarged nub, twisting it back and forth

Applebloom gasps, pleasure and pain shooting up her body What ever "Hen Tie" is, it must be good!

Diamond forces her tongue in further, licking slowly as if searching for something when Applebloom groans, her eyes fluttering open for a second G-spot, found her fingers start flicking and rubbing Applebloom's clit, speeding up along with her tongue

Applebloom falls back, moaning and grinning "Sho good... sho freakin' good..."

Her walls tighten around Diamond's tongue, the girl slowing her ministrations until the walls relax

"Wh- why did ya- ahhhh..." Applebloom's question dies in her throat, the wonderful feelings returning to cloud her thoughts

I wonder how many times she can stand reaching her peak. Three? Four? Diamond wonders, pausing again as the walls clench, Applebloom groaning "Jus'- jus' do it..."

Diamond slows, shaking her head with a smirk Not yet, but soon

Applebloom grabs her breasts, squeezing the life out of them, trying to get off

Diamond rolls her eyes just two more ti- the walls tighten, Diamond slowing just in time That was a close one! Okay, after this, I'll let her go all the way off

Applebloom's body flails, her back and head hitting the floor like a fish out of water. "Jus' make me cummm!!" she wails, tears in her eyes

Diamond smiles, squeezing her clit with one hand, the other entering below her mouth to please the exposed parts of flesh as she relentlessly prods the moaning girl's sweet spot

Applebloom's eyes roll into the back of her head, her legs whipping around Diamond's head, trying to force her in deeper as her orgasm hit, her mouth agape but nothing but a silent screech coming from it. Her back arches at an unnatural angle as her orgasm rips through her chest, her grip tightening around her breasts. in summary, she was in nirvana, heaven, and Valhalla

Diamond however was scooping as much fluid into her mouth, the tart-yet-sweet liquid caking her tongue She must have been pent up and then some! I mean, I can actually feel it squirting into my mouth!***

Slowly Applebloom's body stops its spasms, her legs relaxing slowly, releasing the panting girl from their grip. "Dang Applebloom! I think I just had enough apple juice to last me a month!"

Applebloom snores silently, her arms falling to her side

Diamond grins "Who said you could sleep? I still need to get off... Ahaha~" Diamond grabs Applebloom's foot and quickly rubs herself off, before grabbing a blanket from her bed and covering both of them, kissing Applebloom before falling asleep

Applebloom stirs, her whole body sore and weak "Uuugghh... what did ah drink last ni- Hello!" sleeping softly next to her is Diamond, a happy smile on her lips

Why am ah- her brain picks up the backlog of information left by the parting clouds in her head Oh, right, crazy sex... it's official, I'm gay... in both definitions of the word she smiles at Diamond, resting her head on the plush floor Ah'm sleepy...

Author's Note

*Or Jeannie from "I dream of Jeannie" (If you know what I am talking about immediately, you rock)
** Know your anatomy folks!
*** this is a thing, I have made it happen. Several times. it is a fun thing to watch, (like coke and Mentos)
First time ever doing foot fetishism. I have absolutely no friggin' idea if I did it right because I wasn't able to find good information on it (at all, I could barely get enough from DA, except for one person DazMatter)
and as for AB going... Wacko? Not planned but I did receive a request for some of these things by PolishValsion
This episode is brought to you by this letter! σ!
by this number! π!
and this pony! Lyra: *Passed out, rubber mat underneath her* Hnng... gonna get ya, ya magic mmmphh... potato...
That's all for now!

The cover-up

"Winona, stop lickin' me..." Applebloom mutters, the dog in question licking her bare waist

Not listening to her command, the dog continues its assault on the girl's belly button before moving lower, Applebloom's pants suddenly missing as Winona licked her slit

"Whoa! Who taught ya to do that?" Applebloom asks, her cheeks flush

The dog takes another lick before spreading Applebloom's lips with her tongue, lapping hungrily

Applebloom moans, pleasure flooding her senses "St-stop... Ah'm gonna- Ah!" her sentence dies her throat as she came, coating the dog's muzzle with fluid

"Delicious..." Winona says in Diamond's voice

Wait, what?

Her dog fades away, Diamond Tiara in her place "Good morning Applebloom!"

Applebloom stares at the girl, her mind processing the scene in front of her

"Diamond... why are ya lickin' me in my sleep?" Applebloom asks flatly

"One, because I love you. Two, because you taste amazing. Three, I wanted to wake you up"

"... Would you mind not doin' that? Ah dreamt you were my dog" Applebloom deadpans, laying back "... This carpet is soft"

Diamond smiles and lays next to Applebloom, kissing her nose "Good morning"

"Good morning... Morning?! How long was ah out?!" Applebloom jumps, looking around the room, the sunrise illuminating the room's windows

Diamond shrugs "Well considering we got here around 5 in the afternoon and my clock says it's about half past 6... 12 hours?"

12 hours?! Ah spent my whole night asleep on the floor?! Oh god I'm lazy Applebloom thinks to herself

Slender arms wrap around her chest, Diamond kissing Applebloom's ear "Don't worry, if they called here, Gold would told them something... Wanna go for round 3?"

Applebloom runs her hands over Diamond's arms, pondering what to do "Nah... ah need to get home to think about what ah almost did to ya... sorry"

Diamond nods, turning Applebloom around before giving her a kiss "I understand, if you want to talk about it, you have my number. I'll go to the bathroom to change if you want to put your clothes back on"

Applebloom nods, picking up her discarded clothing as Diamond sashays into the bathroom

Either she is doin' that on purpose, or that's just how she walks... Applebloom thinks, mesmerized

Walking out the front door of the mansion, a familiar pickup sits in front of the gate, her brother and Gold Key talking at an outdoor table

"Big brother?"

Big Mac looks up, nodding to the girl before setting a mug of what she could tell was coffee "Thanks fer th' hospitality Gold"

The thin man smiles "It was no trouble Master Apple, I haven't seen the young mistress so happy before yesterday. And tell your grandmother I said hello"

Big Mac nods, motioning for Applebloom to get into the truck

Once they leave, Applebloom fidgets nervously Does he know what happened last night?! No, he can't, Diamond locked the door... but we weren't exactly quiet either...

"Ah don't know what happened to ya to make ya stay overnight, an' ah'm fairly sure ah don' want to know" he says, dispelling Applebloom's nervousness

Applebloom sighs in relief

Big Mac smiles at his sister, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes "Ah can't say th' same for Applejack though"

Applebloom's face drops "Horseapples"

Walking through the door, the smell of breakfast hits Applebloom's nostrils "Never noticed how hungry ah was..."

"Well breakfast is for people that work, an' last ah checked, ya haven't worked" Applejack says, washing dishes

"But Siiiiiiis..." Applebloom whines, giving her sister a pleading face

Applejack turns "Tell me what ya'll did at th' Rich's mansion, and ah might consider givin' you a servin' of food"

Applebloom blushes "Ah... ah don't think ah can..."

"Then no food for you" Applejack says, turning back to the dishes

Applebloom whimpers and walks to her room, her stomach growling

Laying down on her bed, Applebloom tries to take her mind off her hunger

"What's on your mind?"

Clocking Scootaloo in the jaw, Applebloom sighs "What ah'm gonna do for food"

Rubbing her jaw, Scootaloo shrugs "Why didn't you eat at Diamond's?"

"'Cause ah didn't want to impose"

"Weak. Well what happened? Strange foot sex or something?" Scootaloo asks

"No, where did ya get that idea?"

"A little birdy in a tree outside Diamond's room told me" Scootaloo says, smiling wickedly

Applebloom sits up, grabbing Scootaloo's shirt "Ya spied on us?! What the hay Scoots?!"

"I wasn't alone! Rainbow was the one holding the camera!" Scootaloo says, trying to struggle out of her shirt

"WHERE. IS. SHE?" Applebloom asks, holding the girl to her face

Scootaloo grunts and crosses her arms "I can't divulge that information, I am sworn to keep such secrets kept close and not revealed to anyone who is not a lodge member."

Applebloom grins "Ah'll get it out of ya somehow, how about we go to the barn? Big Mac just got this new doohickey that looks like a barbed Corkscrew with a motor and a few clamps for sturdiness"

"I will not break... I am strong... I will not break..." Scootaloo chants

The acres are perfectly silent, not even a single birdsong is heard for the many miles that it makes up. A haven for those who are afraid of loud noises and others. In fact, there was one sitting in front of a tree, her long pink hair obscuring most of her face, her light blue eyes focused on the sketchbook in front of her, a smile in her thin lips; her more than modest breasts trying in vain to burst through the cotton sundress.

Yes, this was a Kodiak moment to be sure, a serene scene meant to be immortalized for all eternity, a goal for those who wish to be in harmony with the world around them. A moment rarer than any animal or insect. Big Mac took a moment to pull out his old camera and shoot a short movie, one hand turning the crank and the other holding it steady*

Unaware of her watcher, the girl continued to sketch, her brow furrowing in concentration for a moment before the girl smiles again, lowering her pencil to the paper again. Big Mac smiles too, not out of love or anything personal, he just enjoyed how utterly quiet she was while the world around her could be so loud. The camera clicks, signaling it is out of film, Big Mac setting it down and then pulls out a camera, snapping a few pictures of her from every angle before smiling in triumph, a rare moment held in eternal memory.

A good thing too, the silence was then mowed down by a primal scream of pain coming from the barn behind him "OH MY SWEET STRAP-ON'S ATTATCHMENTS!!! IT IS DRILLING INTO MY ASS!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! OH GOD I CAN'T FEEL MY FUCKING CUNT! BY THE IMMORTAL GOD OF SEX EROS, MAKE IT STOP!!! Wait, what is tha- OH SWEET MERCY ON A USED TOILET! IT BURNS!!! THERE IS HOT SAUCE IN MY HOLE!!! I CAN FEEL IT LEAKING INTO MY RECTUM!!!" a shrill voice screams

Big Mac ponders if he should investigate or go on with his day and hope it worked out

"Nope" he muttered, walking away

Inside the barn stood Applebloom, several bottles and cans filled with liquids and powders, a bottle of hot sauce in one hand, a strange device of dubious application in the other.

Below her, butt in the air is Scootaloo, her face flush with pleasure and pain "Aagh... nggm... hhhrnngghh... she mutters, her tongue plastered to the side of her face

Applebloom looks at the soaking ball of pleasure her friend had become "Ah need to wear a sound-proof headset when ah do this..."

Scootaloo doesn't answer, opting instead to wave her tongue in the air for a second

"You gonna tell me where Rainbow is?"

Scootaloo nods "Sugar... cube corner... making copies... gonna give one to AJ later... post it on... blog..."

Applebloom nods and walks out of the barn when a needy whimper comes from her friend "Mind... putting the hammers in?"

Sighing, Applebloom grabs a rubber mallet and slides the handle into Scootaloo's soaked snatch, plugging in the small electronic piston machine the moaning girl built before shoving it into Scootaloo's bruised and reddening anus before walking away, the athlete screaming nonsensical things**

"Ah have some damn messed up friends..." Applebloom says, running towards the bakery

"PINKIE!" Applebloom yells, running through the door

The baker looks up from her current project, Rainbow Dash strapped to a dented metal chair "Yeah?"

"... Ah was going to ask you to stop Rainbow from makin' copies of that video she made yesterday, but it looks like you already have"

Rainbow struggles in her bonds "I was about to, but then Pinkie stuck me in this thing! I thought you'd want to be famous!"

Applebloom looks up at Pinkie "Is it cool if I hurt her a little?"

Pinkie shakes her head "Nope! I need her awake so that I can style her hair!" Pinkie's smile widens, her hair seeming to lose some of its curl

"I'm going to make you so damn pretty my little Dashie... I wanna see your colors run through the air... it will be delicious..." she whispers into Rainbow's ear, the athlete's face paling

Applebloom shrugs and grabs Rainbow's bag and roots through her pockets "Lessee... Gum, wallet, box of condoms, assorted tools, allen wrench, spare clothes, cell phone, smoke bombs, granola bars, and a camera without a memory card" she turns to the shivering athlete "Pinks, mind doin' a cavity search?"

Pinkie salutes and disappears for a second, reappearing with a dentist's outfit. Opening Rainbow's mouth, she looks around with her mouth mirror "No cavities! And I see that Dashie's diet of apples has kept her teeth clean!"

"No, ah meant like her bra, if there was anything hidden in there"

Pinkie nodded, her dentist costume replaced by that of a security officer, a curly pink mustache and 5 o'clock shadow on her face "Like this?"

Applebloom nods, the hyperactive baker shoving her hand down Rainbow's pants

"Hey! Hands off the merchan- Oh yeah..." she moans, falling limp

Pinkie pulls her hand out, a small flash drive wrapped in plastic wrap held in her hand "I knew you were a mule!"

Applebloom grabs a few napkins and takes the flash drive from pinkie who is searching Rainbow's bra "Hm... no WMD's here... no pockets..." she pulls her hands out, sticking them in the back of Rainbow's pants, the athlete jumping with a start before moaning and relaxing again, Pinkie pulling out a plastic tube with a number of memory cards in it

Pinkie clicks her tongue "Shame on you Dashie! Hiding things!"

Rainbow blinks and blushes "Never can be too careful..."

Applebloom takes the tube, walking away slowly from Rainbow "Okay then... ah'll just go now..."

Pinkie waves and Rainbow whimpers "My porn..."

Applebloom knocks on the door to the boutique, Spike opening it with a cup of tea in his hand "You here for Sweetie Belle?"

"Yup, need her computer smarts for something"

As if on cue, Sweetie Belle skips through the door and hugs Applebloom

Spike closes the door, Rarity's voice calling him

Applebloom pats her friend's head "Good to see ya too Sweetie... mind lettin' go now?"

Sweetie nods, releasing her friend "So what's the plan for today?"

"Ah need you to help me sift through Rainbow Dash's collection of... 'Movies' and to delete the one she shot of me and Diamond spendin' the day together"

Sweetie smiles and pulls from her bag a small device "I built this last week, it's an audio networking and unification system! It searches all of the videos for certain words and sounds and also allows you to splice together a series of clips and bits into a new video! It will revolutionize movies, music, and videos forever!"

"... Sweetie, the acronym for that would be ANUS... maybe a new name?" Applebloom says, pointing to the capital letters on the top of the machine

Sweetie Belle stares at the letters and blushes "Oh dear... I may need to rethink this one..."

Applebloom shrugs "Most of these came from an anus so..."

Sweetie looks up "What?"

"Nothin', here are the memory cards"

The girl takes the tube and drive and smiles "How about we go to a café? I'm kinda hungry"

"Whatever ya want Sweets"

Sipping her dark coffee, Applebloom watches Sweetie place the individual memory cards on a gridded tray sticking out of the A.N.U.S., a soft tune coming from the girl's lips

She looks up and pushes the tray back in, the machine humming to life, a list of videos appearing on the screen

Sweetie hands her a microphone "Now hold this button when you want to put in the sounds that you want to find"

Applebloom nods, thinking back to yesterday

"I can kill ya like this... what are ya gonna do?" she says, shivering at the memory of her actions

After a few seconds the screen shows one video, a headset placed over Applebloom's ears "Wha-"

"So that you can listen to the video in piece" Sweetie says, sipping her tall half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot iced mocha, split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular) latte with whip, chips, cinnamon, no sugar sweetened, naturally processed coffee.

In other words, the whitest of the white coffee imaginable, or her "Usual"

Before hitting play, Applebloom grabs the coffee "This ain't coffee"

Sweetie grabs it back "Yes it is! And I like it this way!"

Applebloom groans "Just... please stop acting so... prissy"

She huffs "I'm not prissy... I just don't like bitter coffee..."

Applebloom sighs "Fine, but my point is that must be the whitest coffee in the history of coffees"

A man with a framed certificate walks by and hands it to Sweetie Belle "Congratulations Miss Sweetie Belle, that is the whitest coffee in history, you are going to be in the Guinness book of records"

Sweetie squeals and jumps in the air, a smile on her face that would undo blindness and cataracts. Hugging the man, his blood pressure and bent spine fixed by some unknown force. Sweetie began to dance, giggling sweetly, everyone stopping to watch the display of adorability, their aches and pains dispelled.

Yes, Sweetie's purity and cuteness could heal, a power she did not know she had. of course, not everyone benefitted from this

Far away, a few people feel white-hot lances pierce their flesh, their perversion and corruption struggling to remain whole

"D-Dang it Sweetie... Don't you know you're killing me?" Scootaloo grunts, the tools of her pleasure disappearing back to where they belong

Rainbow groans, her head dropping in defeat, sweat soaking her body "Ugh... Urrrrghh... so... pure! It burns! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP!!!"

President Celestia lurches in her chair, holding her chest in agony "Oh god... it's so... powerful!! I... need my... porn..."

VP Luna, her sister, watches her elder struggle, her laptop in her lap and cell phone held in her slender fingers "I think not sister, You need to kick this habit. How better than when a wave of purity hits?"

Celestia gives her sister a pleading look "Please... I'll die..."

VP Luna smiles, popping her gum "Then I get to be President, what's my motivation?"

"Sisterly love?"

Luna ponders this and shrugs "Okay then, I'll just set it right down here..." she places the technology just out of Celestia's reach "Have fun sister~"

But those three are perverts, and at this moment, are unimportant

Sitting back down, Sweetie beams at Applebloom "Spike said that he was going to call the Guinness book of world records about my coffee, but I thought that he was kidding! And this morning he said that if I got coffee here, I might get something special! I'm gonna be in a book Applebloom!"

Applebloom nods dumbly, her eyes still glazed by the wave of purity and cuteness that soaked the nation

Sweetie gives the man another hug, he walks away, feeling like he found enlightenment

Applebloom shakes her head, the man returning with another certificate "And the record for being the most adorable thing in the history of everything, congratulations"

Sweetie squeals and faints adorably, soft snores coming from her half-open mouth

Applebloom just blinks and plays the movie Yup, some very strange friends indeed

Author's Note

* like the one from "The judge"
** Where in the world did all this stuff come from?! I didn't plan this but... it just shows how strange Scootaloo is, or as some would say, open. I think it came from this story I read last week for information on electrostimulation and the like... I have way to much time on my hands I guess...

The persona

Diamond Tiara is on cloud nine, humming and skipping as she enters town, a goofy smile on her face

The mail girl swoops in on her jetpack, her hair messed up by the wind "Morning Diamond!"

Diamond turns and walks over to her, the moderately shorter girl looking up "Morning Derpy!"

The woman stares at Diamond, her left eye wandering up to follow a passing bird "You didn't call me any names..." with surprising speed and strength, Derpy lifts Diamond off the ground "Who are you and where are you hiding the real Diamond Tiara?"

Her eyes narrow, a frown on her face "I know of your kind... you are obviously a Zygon. But there is nothing here for you space octopus..." she pulls Diamond closer "Nothing but the oncoming storm... and me, the warrior queen of Earth"

Dropping Diamond, Derpy takes off before accidentally hitting a tree "I'm okay!"

Diamond shakes her head "There sure are a bunch of strange people in this town..."

Diamond enters a dark alley, quickly unlocking a concealed port-a-potty-turned-dressing-room

Dun dun duun! dundundundundun! dundundun-DUN! dundunnadundun! Diamond sings in her head as she changes, grinning like a fool

Jumping out, her usually braided hair hidden under a seamless black and red wig, brown color contacts, bottle glasses, her fashionable ensemble now a ragged letterman jacket 5 sizes too big, plaid button-down, dull boots, and an unflattering skirt.

Simply put, she looked like a nerdy girl straight from a comic

"I am Star Sapphire, Queen of the nerds!" she announces under her breath, climbing up a chain link fence after locking the changing-room

Walking out of the alley, she approaches her favorite haunt, "OA comics"

"Hey Star! How's life?" A tall, lanky teenager calls

"Go away Flash" Star mutters, shoving the handsy teenager away

Flash Script wipes his greasy bangs out of his face, a playful grin on his zitty face "So that's how you treat the guy that has your Kryptonite? Well DT?"

Star slaps her hand over his mouth "You speak of that again, and I will go all Bane on your sorry, skinny ass. You won't have the chance to cry out in pain"

He nods, fear in his eyes "Sheesh, can't take a joke can you?"

"When it concerns my AE, I don't have a shred of humor. Now, do you have the goods?"

He snorts "'Do you have the goods?' she asks, who are you, Roman Sionis? Yeah, I got 'em. You got the green?"

Star smiles "Not that I don't trust you, I just need to see them"

Flash shrugs "Sure, I understand" he goes into his backpack and pulls a silver brief case out. Quickly inputting a code, the case pops open, several glowing comics held in plastic sleeves set inside

Star suppresses a moan of pleasure "They're... marvelous... once again you deliver" reaching into her pocket, she pulls out a stack of bills "$1500 like we agreed"

Flash grins and takes the money, slipping plastic gloves on, carefully removing the comics from the case before pulling out a bigger sleeve and carefully sliding them in, a small strip of tape sealing it closed "Nice doing business with you Star"

Diamond takes the package, shivering in excitement "I am SO turned on right now, you don't even know"

Flash laughs "I'd offer to help but my Gynophobia prevents me from doing so. Go inside, Ganthet will be happy to see you"

Entering the store, Star takes a long inhale of the smell of paper, sweat, stale marijuana, and face cream. The smell of the unwashed geeks, nerds, and trolls

Her people, subjects, and minions

"Well! Here comes the queen!" someone says, everyone in the store bowing for a second, grins on their faces

"And don't forget it! I am your leader! I demand the ambrosia of the gods!" Star announces , posing regally

"Orange soda? You like that right?" a large man says, faded He-man shirt barely hiding his muscles

"I do I do I do!" Star replies, eliciting laughs from everyone

The man puts her in a headlock "So, I see you put Ambrose in his place"

Star escapes "If he's Ambrose, then who's Pinocchio and Boy Blue?"

"I guess that'd be us" A short, angry looking child-man says, arms crossed. Standing beside him is a clean-shaven teen wearing all blue, a trumpet case in one hand, a stack of cards in his other

"I know, I just wanted the chance to see Stumps and Blues before I go shopping" Star says, ruffling the shorter man's hair

"My name isn't 'Stumps'! It's Oak Forest!" he yells, his friend sighing "You know she's going to keep on calling you that until it no longer annoys you"

"Quiet Blues, I know what her plan is but I can't stand it when people make fun of my condition!"

Ganthet shrugs "You can't help you've got Dwarfism"

"I AM NOT A DWARF!"

Over in the bookshelves, Diamond searches with the precision of a robot, screening titles, volumes, additions, and merchandise "have it, have it, have it..." she smiles "Do not have that!"

Slowly, she pulls the thin DVD case out, a picture of a group of people wearing brightly colored costumes on the front "Super Changin' Force Fighters: Special Saturday morning edition! With special ultra-rare foil card sets inside!" She jumps and dashes over to the counter, a wide grin on her face

Ganthet looks down at her "I see you found it"

"When. Did. This. Come. In? I have been looking for this for months!"

"Just came in, I had to remove the cards so that no one would steal them*. $35" he says, pulling out a wrapped deck of cards

Star reaches into her wallet and places the money on the counter, scooping up the cards and case eagerly before shooting back to the shelves "Where is something else? There's gotta be-" she gasps

"Oh. My. Zordon... Ganthet! Are thes what I think they are?!"

The large man walks over smiling "Yup, I finally got that guy to cave. Cost me a pretty penny too, but knowing how much nostalgia these things evoke, I thought it a sound investment. And no, You can't buy them"

Star looks up pleadingly "Bu- these are the original Fighter changers! Even Olive's!"

Ganthet nods "I know, that's why I can't sell them. These are too strong, even for you, one of the most overbearing and overemotional humans I have ever met"

Star sighs "Fine..." Ganthet reaches into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper, "However... you can have this"

Star opens the paper "'All FF memorabilia items of your choice FREE, Redeemable only after any of these events: The Death of Ganthet, Rita Repulsa returning, store shuts down, or your wedding day- Ganthet' You mean..."

"I'm pretty sure that the only thing that's going to happen is your wedding and knowing how much you love comics, that might not be too soon"

If only you knew I was dating. If only you knew Star thought to herself, walking away from the case, her arm reaching out weakly "One day... one day..."

After a rousing game of cards, Star stretches and yawns, "I'm gonna head home to have some fun pwning N00BZ0RZ, maybe lock myself in the bathroom, I dunno"

Making one last look through the books, restraining herself from smashing the glass case, and finally leaving, she looks up at the setting sun "Good day today. Time to go and get my heiress on... Or go and treat myself to some well-earned desert... decisions decisions..."

"WATCH OUT FOUR-EYES!!" someone yells, a skateboard sailing over her head

"What the Frig?!" Star yells, Scootaloo stopping in front of her "That was awesome! I went right over you! Let's see if I can do it again!"

Scootaloo, of course, out of all the dumb jocks, it had to be the Perv wonder "You need to watch where you're going you hirsute troglodyte!"

Scootaloo pauses "Who are you calling a hairy suit?!"

Star groans "'Hirsute'... Did you not even go to school?"

"Of course! I did my time! Passed too! Luckily that bubble-butt Dinky Hooves let me write cheat sheets on her underwear, soaked them in cheap perume, and let me sniff them so that I could have an associative memory" she smiles "And it also helped that her dad is bad at fixing their furnace so she wore near nothing when I came over... she is STACKED, just like her mother"

Star just stares at Scootaloo "You are also the most base person I have ever had the unfortunate displeasure to ever meet"

"I know! I'm so awesome, I'm base! Anyways, gotta go, see ya later dork!" Scootaloo jumps on her skateboard and shoots away, leaving dust in her wake

Coughing for a few seconds, Star crosses her arms "I place upon you, the curse of the farmer's daughter!"

Above her, thunder roars, lightning streaking through the sky

"Ominous... ah well, time to go home!"

After resealing the changing box, Diamond walks back towards her mansion, clutching her bag like it's a life preserver

A loud crash emanates from behind her, a familiar groan following it "Owww... Major wipe-out..."

"Are you okay Scootaloo?!" Diamond asks, still clutching the bag

"Yeah... for some reason my Poontang finder is malfunctioning"

"'Poontang finder'?"

Scootaloo grins "Yeah, the name for my skateboard, because it sniffs out poontang like a bloodhound! Or at least it should, Sweetie might've shorted out the enchantment or my gaydar... I haven't had the time to have Rainbow fix it"

Diamond slowly backs away "Okay... see you later"

"Okay! Wait! I put your copy of last night in the usual spot!" Scootaloo calls, waving

Diamond removes a brick from a wall outside her mansion, a plastic wrapped memory card hidden in the hollowed out brick, the money she placed in it gone "She may be a pervert, but she shoots great videos"

Author's Note

*I hate it when people do that

The big secret

Applebloom's phone rings, rousing her from sleep "Hullo?"

"Applebloom! This is of the utmost importance! Can you break curses?!" Scootaloo asks, panic in her voice

"... Scoots, it is too dang early in the day for this. Go back to bed"

"I swear this isn't a joke! Look out your window!"

"If you are tryin' to break into my house... again... whoa" hanging upside down nude is Scootaloo, covered with feathers, birdseed, half her hair missing, and assorted fruit stuck to her. And for some reason, there was a halibut stuck in one armpit and a fox under the other

"Help?"

Scootaloo sits on a rubber mat, looking pissed off "What am I? A six year old with bowel problems?"

"Nope, ah just don't want stuff all over my floor. So what happened?"

Scootaloo sighs "I was skateboarding around earlier, trying to find someone to hang with when I wipe out right behind your waifu-"

"My what?"

"Waifu, seriously hayseed, get a life" she clears her throat "After talking to her for a minute, I had the idea to go visit Rainbow to see if she survived her selfless sacrifice.

Arriving at Sugarcube corner, I found her covered with sparkly glitter, Devotion red 14 to be precise, a high-end lap dancing aromatic glitter commonly used in Manehatten and surrounding cities. She looked drunk and kept muttering how red it was inside of the fluff and drowning in cool azure pools. I figured that Pinkie had put her in a food coma and then hypnotized her. And she was wearing nothing but frilly panties, a padded bra, and a few hairpins. After finding Pinkie in her basement cooking up some kind of witchy stuff, she told me that you had been by and after she made me sample her brew, I bolted out of there.

So I hung out with Pound and Pumpkin for a while, mostly teaching them how to hit targets from the roof. Twilight was so mad that she kept on being hit with acorns and pebbles through the bathroom window while she was having a bubble bath. Then Pound said that we could use some of Pinkie's dehydrated taffy powder pellets and give her a sweet surprise" Scootaloo laughs "She had relaxed into the quick-taffy and before she knew it, everything below her breasts were stuck in solid taffy! She sat there for an hour, frozen, a crazy smile on her face! Then we started to pelt her with pebbles and bits of fondant , which just bounced around her for a few minutes before she screamed and started trying to escape the taffy before passing out, or she burst a blood vessel; I don't know"

Applebloom rubs her head "Scoots... did she ever escape?"

Scootaloo shrugs "Iono, not my problem. Anyways, after that I left the twins and decided to visit you... that's when things started to happen. I rode over a rock and my poontang finder swerved and I crashed into Bee Hive's honey store and got myself covered in honey and the bees were angry at me and I ran out, chucking my clothes off like it said in the 'Worst case scenario handbook' the bees sticking to me like some kind of beard mustache combo before I slipped on some honey, landed face first in the fish market's ice box. The manager got angry at me and after slapping me with this fish, I ran away, and I slipped on some ice that fell off the fish and crashed into Knockershy and she had a bag of birdseed and for some reason, a fox, which attacked me and is still stuck to my armpit. I freaked out and ran here, my scooter held in hand, and I stepped on a landmine that Rainbow set up so that she could somersault into Applejacks room, but I activated it wrong and got launched into your tree. So I hung there for a while and suddenly my butt started buzzing, meaning someone was calling my booty" Scootaloo grins at Applebloom "Get it? 'Booty call'?"

Applebloom rubs her face harder "Ah get it"

"Sweetie was calling and wanted to know if I was coming to the pool with her. I think Rarity said she was dropping the kids off at the pool or something, which means she was gonna get her supah freak on. So I told her I was stuck in a tree with a fox, a fish, and some birdseed and couldn't. She giggled and then asked if I wanted some fruit. I was hungry, so I said yes and she came over and started tossing me fruit. I stuck some on me in case I got hungry" Scootaloo pulls a tomato off her chest, one side glistening with birdseed and honey "Birdseed has no taste but is quite filling"

She sticks the fruit back on herself "So we talked but then she left because of her curfew or something. So I swung in the wind for a minute, trying to talk to the fox, but I couldn't tell what it was trying to say, and then I had the idea to butt-dial you" she grins again "Because my phone is on my butt, get it? Huh? Pretty clever huh?"

Applebloom groans and stares at her friend "Why?"

Scootaloo ponders this "Because I'm cursed? A nerd I ran into said something about cursing me earlier and you're the only family I know of who has down-home poultices and junk besides the Clampets"

Applebloom sighs and walks out of the room "Don't move"

Scootaloo salutes and finishes up her tomato

Applejack stares at Scootaloo, the aforementioned girl chewing on an apple "So she's cursed?"

Applebloom nods "Yup, ah'm not sure how to get rid of it though. What do you think?"

Applejack rubs her head "Just give me a minute to think"

Scootaloo stretches "Take all the time you need, I'm not scheduled for an appointment with the Victory's mystery: lingerie and playgirl edition until noon. This year they have 500 centerfolds! I could jizz all over myself just at the thought of it!"

The two Apples back away "Okay... we need RD to help us... she's the only person equipped to deal with her"

"Someone call my name?" Rainbow asks, hanging from the door by her feet

Applejack slugs the smug athlete, her fist missing the target as Rainbow pulls herself up "I heard everything, and I know how to remove curses"

She somersaults off the wall, landing softly on the ground "Hit yourself with the halibut, bite a chunk out of a fruit, and inhale a seed"

Scootaloo does, all of the honey disappears and the fox scampers away, leaving Scootaloo nude and holding a fish "How?"

Rainbow grins "I hang with Pinkie Pie, and I was cursed by a one-eyed monster once, similar things happened to me"

Applejack groans "Ah'm goin' back to bed, this is too much crazy... wait-" Applejack punches both athletes, launching them out Applebloom's window

"We're blasting off again!!!!" they yell, disappearing into the horizon

Applebloom shakes her head and lays down in bed, falling asleep instantly

Diamond stirs from sleep, trapped in a cloth prison "Okay, think logically, how do I get out of this?"

She rolls back and forth in contemplation, looking like a bagworm stuck in the wind I can't force my way out... and I can barely move... I am therefore helpless... right now would be a good time to discover I have telekinesis or something...

Diamond focuses her mind, envisioning a hand lifting up her phone and dialing

...

Okay, I'm not Doctor X, how about... Telepathy!

Once again she focuses her mind, sending her thoughts to someone.

Applebloom! I need your help!

Everything goes black, her message echoing around in her head

"Why are ya makin' that face?" Applebloom asks staring at the ball of cloth and girl

"Holy shit! It worked! I'm a telepath! This is awesome!"

Applebloom sits next to Diamond "Ah'm sure you aren't one of those, ah just came over to get away from the weirdness in town"

Diamond stares "And you came to the throne room of the nerd queen?"

"No, ah came to hang with my... girlfriend" Applebloom replies, the ball squealing and bouncing with happiness "If I could escape I would kiss you!"

Applebloom grins "Ah'll help you out of there"

Grabbing the ball, Applebloom yanks on it, Diamond unrolling, her clothing soaked with sweat. She leaps and hugs Applebloom "My hero"

"Ah thought that'd be one of those guys in tights on your wall" Applebloom jokes, hugging the sweaty girl

"You don't need a costume to be my hero" she says, kissing Applebloom

She returns the kiss, pulling Diamond closer, her hand on top of the girl's bra

Diamond moans, pawing Applebloom's back as if afraid to lose grip

Applebloom grins, breaking the kiss "Seein' you all sweaty... is nice"

Diamond's heart skips a beat "W-well... would it be better if I were nude and sweaty?"

Applebloom grins "Ah think ah'd like WAKE UP!!"

Diamond sits up, her pillow held close to her chest "Wha-"

Applebloom sits next to her "You were muttering in your sleep. You looked like it was a bad one so ah woke ya up"

She blinks "So close... so damn close..."

Applebloom picks up a book from the floor "So... Scoots is somewhere with Rainbow, doing somethin', ah really don't want to know what that somethin' is though. Sweetie is helpin' Rarity with a project and last time ah tried to help, the boutique smelled like stale ketchup for a week. And Rarity's hair turned green too"

Diamond nods "So... no one to bother us? All day? Just the two of us? Alone?"

Applebloom nods "Yup, so get ready, ah'll be waitin' outside"

After she leaves, Diamond jumps for joy "A whole day with Applebloom! this is perfect! Wait- outside?"

Inside Diamond's mind, a projector started, three tiny people sitting behind it "This aught to be good" the one with a goatee says munching on popcorn

The other, one wearing a hardhat and a regulation clean-shave looks at his companion "Where did you get popcorn Crow?"

"Brought it from the kindness and submission center, Tom. They were giving it away" Crow replies

Tom stares at him "Wasn't that the old sass super center?"

Crow grins "Yup, we worked on it together, building and junk, now shut your yap, you too Mike! The movie's about to start"

Tom and Mike grab a handfuls of popcorn sit back

On the screen is Applebloom and Diamond Tiara sitting on a hill, smiling "You know why ah invited you out here?"

"I'm gonna murder ya, bury you under the tree, and use your bones to feed mah dog!" Crow yells

"Not really, I was hoping so that we could... talk" Diamond says, blushing slightly

"And I'm going to murder you, rape your corpse, and use you skeleton as a sex toy!" Tom yells, Mike cracking up next to him

Applebloom grins seductively "What ah had planned doesn't involve much talkin... if ya catch my drift"

"Holy shit! I was right!" Tom yells

Diamond turns away bashfully "A-applebloom... we can't... there are people here..."

"We need to kill all these witnesses before we have passionate blood sex" Crow says

Apple bloom snakes her hand underneath Diamond's shirt, grabbing a plump breast "Ah know, that's the plan. Let's see if anyone notices you bending over, my hand in your tight cunny. You may even get to lick mah hand when we're done"

Diamond blushes and tries to squirm out of Applebloom's grip, the stronger girl easily holding her in place "Please... stop... not here..."

Applebloom quickly removes a shoe and its sock, releasing Diamond before pressing her down with her foot, sweat glistening on it

"I bet 20 bucks she says to lick it" Tom says, handing Mike a bill

"You're on" Crow says, passing a crumpled bill to Mike

"Lick it, ya know ya want to" Applebloom says, moving her toes closer to Diamond's lips

"I win!" Tom says, Mike passing him the dollars

"It smells so..." Diamond gulps, her blush brighter

"Rank?" Tom guesses

"Tay-stee!" Crow yells, nearly dropping his popcorn

Suddenly the whole room shakes, the scene getting far away as the three viewers run through a series of doors

"Diamond! Diamond! Wakey wakey!" Applebloom yells, shaking Diamond

"What? What happened to the satellite?" She asks, steadying herself

"No satellite, just you spacin' out" Applebloom replies

Diamond sighs "Oh how I wish I had such an opportunity... and then ascend to a higher being at the end..."

Applebloom sets Diamond down slowly, stepping back "Ah have no idea what you're talkin' about, and it scares me a little"

Diamond smiles weakly "Sorry, my mind wanders..."

Applebloom gives her a flat look "No kiddin'. Anyways, do you want me to stay up here so that you don't space out?"

Diamond smiles, kissing Applebloom on the nose "No, unless you want to watch me strip or..." she bites her lower lip "Want to take a shower with me?"

Applebloom shrugs "Sorry, already showered and we don't have that much time to spend lollygaggin'"

Walking out, Diamond whimpers So oblivious... so... unaware

After a quick shower, the mandatory masturbating session, her ambivalent mind both wanting to just enjoy getting away with pleasing herself to the thought of Applebloom on the other side of the door and wanting to be found out and then the mandated sexy times that would ensue

Applebloom gives Diamond an incredulous look "Ah thought you'd take longer"

"Why? Do I have something on my face?!" Diamond asks, running her still wet fingers over her face

"Nah, but ah thought that fancy girls spent a long time in the bathroom. Sweetie takes an hour to relieve herself and I'm worried her husband will wonder if by the time she's done, he'll be too old to care"

Diamond chuckles "I get that joke! What about Rarity?"

Applebloom sighs "On average, accordin' to my sister, an hour an' a half. I know that all that make up is 'Important', but in that time I could use the restroom, order my meal, get it, win the eating contest, and be home in time for another bathroom break"

Diamond snorts "Yeah, so where are we going? The park for a picnic?"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, some place better"

"... Does it involve working on your orchard?"

"Dagnabbit! Ya done caught me!" Applebloom jokes, grinning

Diamond crosses her arms in thought "... The museum?"

Applebloom stares "No, why would you think that?"

"I like museums, they're quiet, you can learn stuff, and find Triassic gems that will lead to an adventure! Or a ancient symbionic machine that will give you super powers! Or be chosen by an aging wizard to become a champion of magic! Or be teleported to another planet by a stray beam and have adventures saving that world, and being a hero! Or even... even finding a time machine! No, I time and space machine! That would be so fricken' awesome! Can we go to the museum to find a time machine?!"

Applebloom backs away "No, it ain't somethin' like that... ah hope"

Diamond blushes "Sorry... I just get so excitable around you..."

Applebloom kisses Diamond, holding her tight

Breaking the kiss, Applebloom smiles "Ah'm used to it. just... try and tone it down okay?"

Diamond nods, leaning in for another kiss when her lips meet a hand "Nope, gotta earn 'em"

Pouting, Diamond backs away, but not before taking a small taste of Applebloom's hand "Fine, where are we going?"

Applebloom smiles "A place that Ah saw on my way here"

...GREAT MAKER! Why here?! Diamond shivers, staring up at the door to "OA comics"

Applebloom takes Diamond's silence for joy, pulling her into the shop "Ah wasn't sure if you knew about this place or not, ah thought it would be a good way to follow what you say sometimes, and this place is Scootaloo proof, Never goes in, for some reason she says she can't see it..."

The normally pleasant smell of unpleasantness is now an unpleasant smell of unpleasantness.

All eyes stare at Diamond who is trying in vain to hide behind Applebloom

"Y'all act like ya never seen girls before!" Applebloom says, pulling Diamond out from behind her

Oak Forest breaks the silence "well well... If it isn't Milia Jenius, here to attack us again?"

Diamond shakes her head "N-no... I was brought here by my friend... we're leaving right now"

Applebloom raises an eyebrow "Why are ya scared of them? Ah thought that you were one of 'em"

Blues snorts "Yeah, right! She came in here one day a few years ago and nearly tore the place apart looking for someone to fight. Ganthet took the challenge and went all Maxi on her sorry princess butt and kicked her out. She kept coming back each day, the same thing happening, until one day she just rushed in and tried to topple him. Needless to say, she almost did it but three of us tore her off of him and for reasons I won't explain, I used my bear mace on her"

Oak laughs "Yeah, she ran out of her with the grace of a headless taun-taun, bawling her eyes out! I thought that her father would sue all of us but the next day he came in and apologized, he even bowed on his hands and knees. Needless to say, we wanted an apology from her, 'Don't blame the parent for the sin of the child' and all that"

"It's the other way around, Pinocchio. 'Blame not the child for the sins of the parents'" Flash says, leaning back in his chair

"Since when were you a bible thumper?"

"I may be a bastard in the dictionary sense, but my mom takes me to church Wednesday and Sunday. So I know my verses pretty well" Flash replies, pulling a small cross pendant out of his baggy jumpsuit

Blues nods "Never pegged you for the type, but we have a more pressing matter at hand. The return of the petulant child"

"That's redundant, 'Petulant' means 'Like a child' you called me a childish child" Diamond says before clapping her hands over her mouth

Blues blinks "Huh... good point-OW!"

Oak rubs his hand "Yeesh, you got a hard head... and don't give her the satisfaction!"

Applebloom sighs "Y'all want an apology? Diamond, why don't ya just apologize? You apologize to me three times an hour"

Flash waves a cutting motion at Diamond, mouthing "Run for it! Go go go!"

Ganthet walks out from the back room when his eyes zero in on Diamond "... Hello Tiara"

Diamond waves meekly "H-hi"

"Finally, after 4 years, come to apologize? I'd offer you some coffee but that's for people I like"

Diamond turns Applebloom around, her eyes pleading "Please... not here... let's go ho- mmm..."

Applebloom kisses Diamond, Blues clapping and whistling before Oak slaps him again

Breaking the kiss, Applebloom fixes Diamond with a hard look "Apologize to them now, or ah will tell Scoots everything about you. And ah might never speak to a coward like you again. Understand?"

Diamond gets on her hands and knees, her forehead touching the floor of the store, her voice shaking in fear "I... I'm so very sorry. I was in a horrible mind set back then but that is no excuse for my behavour. I wanted to come here and apologize so many times in the past but I have always given into fear, rather than listening to my willpower. I ask only for your forgiveness, not your pity. I know that if your heart should be set against me, I will leave, never to return. You will hear no more from me or my ilk. So now I prostrate myself before you, not in the anonymity of the night, but the sight of the day"

Applebloom claps "Ah have no idea what some of those words meant, but they sounded genuine"

Blues shrugs "That's all I wanted really"

"Meh, should've come and done that in the first place but I forgive you too... now get up, that carpeting is probably full of dirt" Oak mutters, returning to his game

Flash smiles "I forgive you because of how you worded that. Like something out of OUAT. Actually, you sounded like Regina a bit"

Ganthet uncrosses his arms "Finally! I was about to lose the pool to Stumps over how long it'd take you to do that"

"MY NAME ISN'T STUMPS!"

Ganthet shrugs and offers a hand to Diamond "Need some help up?"

She looks up, tears in her eyes, and accepts it, turning it into a hug like someone who ran a country*

Applebloom grins "See? Honesty goes a long wa- what?"

Blues blinks "How long has that other girl stood there?"

Oak face-palms "You idiot, you were clapping when they were kissing"

Blues nods "Oh yeah, I forgot because you keep hitting me with your wooden hands!"

"Well, I guess that means the blue fairy was sloppy!" Oak yells, standing on his chair

"No fighting in the store. If you need to fight, do it outside where we can take bets" Flash says, looking up from his sketchbook

Applebloom blinks "And ah thought that only me and my friends were this bad... and they're probably all smarter than ah am"

Diamond nods, still staring at the floor "You... you wouldn't really leave me... would you?"

Applebloom lifts Diamond's chin, smiling "No, ah thought you needed the right motivation. You need me too much"

Diamond blushes "St-shut up..."

Ganthet claps his hands, drawing all attention to himself "Well, now that that's over, we can finally bring out the real store!"

Flash grins and presses something underneath his table, Blues and Oak doing the same

The walls open slowly, bookshelves sliding forward on shimmering tracks set in the floor. The book cases on the floor separate, several more rising up, crisp books and merchandise now on display.

Diamond nearly stumbles out of the doorway when Applebloom grabs her hand, pulling her back in "... Was the doorway always several stories above ground... and growing?" Diamond asks, watching a crowd of people gather to watch as the store grows

"It was, at one point, but we thought that a giant building would make it hard to hide. By the way, welcome to our little club" Blues says, putting a hand on both their shoulders

"C-club?" both girls ask, still watching the store grow

"Yup, the 700 miles high club!" Flash says, erupting in laughter

Pulling both girls back, the door closes and a bookshelf covers it, clicking in place "Ignore Flash, he thinks he's funny"

Ganthet herds them to a table, a bottle of orange soda in the center "Welcome to our club girls. We are the power rangers fantasy force"

Diamond faints

Author's Note

Scootaloo: WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTING ME IN THESE SITUATIONS?!
Because it's funny
Scootaloo: Just go away, I need to get this birdseed out of my hair...
*please, someone get this one, I don't even live there and I know this
If anyone can tell me what refs I've made, You all have my respect, because dang it! We need more things like these!
I count 22 of them. See if you can't find them all! and remember, you need to say what they are references to!

The morph

Slowly, Diamond comes to, looking into two perfect amber orbs "Mmmff... what happened?"

Applebloom strokes Diamond's hair softly, a nervous smile on her face "You fainted... and as much as ah want this all to be a dream... ah think that it ain't"

Diamond blinks "What's a drea-" Looking around her, the shelves are now beeping consoles and machines, Blues, Oak, and Ganthet sitting in a trio of silver chairs "Welcome back to the world of the living" Flash says, grinning

Diamond's eyes shrink to pinpricks "It-it-it-it's not a dream? We- you- I..."

Ganthet stands "Allow me to explain what has been going on. The three of us are connected to the being known as 'Leviathan' from Tom Hobby's book of the same title. Basically-"

"Ain't that the whole 'Unconcious collection' or somethin'?" Applebloom asks

Ganthet claps "'Collective Unconciousness'* and yes. I do think that Diamond has read the popular comic series' 'Fables' and 'Unwritten'?"

Diamond nods, unconsciously pulling Applebloom's hand back to her head

"Well, that's basically us. That's why we look like this to you and the names we chose. The three of us look like Boy Blue, Pinocchio, and Flycatcher because we are kind of them in this universe. Ganthet is older than us by a few years and his name is of course, the lantern leader of Oa." Oak says, waving to the others "We knew that who ever came in here would be another potential ranger for your cause. Something brought you here all those years ago, and watching you fight meant that that you had the right stuff, but you were also also too young to become one. We thought that you would come back alone, but it turns out you were taken here by your friend, who is also material... and that explains the spare morpher we have"

Flash turns around and holds out a box with two pens and two cellphone chips inside, one pair light pink, the other a bright crimson "These are your Re-writers, they are your morphers as well. Put them in your phones please"

Applebloom picks up the crimson items, pulling her phone out "Uhhh... how do I put it in?"

"Well, you pull this down and- ow!"

Diamond rubs her fist and shakes her head "Wha? Oh! I'm sorry Blues!"

Blues nods "It's okay... just save the punches for the enemy okay?"

Diamond turns to Applebloom who is blushing lightly "Can someone tell me how to do this?"

Diamond removes the cover and places the chip in and closes it, handing it back to Applebloom "Just let me... do mine..."

She holds her phone out "... Why hasn't it done anything?"

Oak sighs "You haven't activated it yet. Hold down 0 and press the star button"

Both girls do, their phones glowing as they turn into screened watches

"Ain't these those watch phones?"

"The first ones were in the first incarnation of the rangers**... Ganthet! are you our Zordon?!" Diamond asks, smiling wide

"No, I'm not. But I am however the one who can help you control your powers. And to answer your friend's question, they are supposed to look like that to blend in. if you want to turn them back into phones, just use your pens to draw an 'X' on the screen. These work both as tablets and watch-phones. To morph... well, we haven't figured out how yet" Ganthet says, shrugging

Applebloom draws an "X" removes the chip and sets both the pen and chip back in the box "Ah'm out. Ah can't even follow what ya'll're sayin'. See ya back in the normal world Diamond" Applebloom looks around the shop "How do ah get out?"

Oak grins "Told you that she wasn't the 5th. It must be Star, she's a ranger fanatic"

Diamond shivers Holy shit! I forgot about Star Sapphire! How am I supposed to be both her and a ranger at the same time?! They'll figure me out and then- Wait, Flash already knows, and maybe Ganthet, but not Blues and Oak... and how am I supposed to be two rangers?!

Applebloom sighs "Can one of you send me home? Ah'm pretty sure turnin' into a superhero isn't what my family had thought ah'd grow up to be"

Blues looks removes the items from the case "Please, you must be the 5th. The fact that you saw the shop and also beat Diamond in combat means you are either our ally or our enemy"

Applebloom glares "How do you know about that fight? It was far out of town and only our families know what happened!"

Flash sighs "We know because... we saw it happen. We have cameras all around the city, we had only one on that building that you two were in and that's when the 5th set appeared. I won't beg for you to reconsider, but just know that if you turn your back on this, should we lose against whatever force we may face, you could have helped. And..." he walks over to a console "If you want to leave, here's a door. All we ask is that you never divulge what you saw here and keep that secret as just that. A secret"

A shimmering circle of light appears on the floor opposite of Blues "Your choice Miss Apple"

Applebloom crosses her arms and closes her eyes On one hand, this could help me see the nerdier side of Diamond. On the other, ah have no idea what they're talkin' about. Diamond could get hurt doin' this... and as much as I hate myself for thinkin' this... ah want to be hurt alongside her She growls and swipes the chip and pen from Blues "Fine, Ah'll do it!"

The circle fades and Ganthet laughs "I knew that we weren't wrong!"

Blues smiles and Oak sighs "Jeez, that was as suspenseful as the time I played Metal gear solid 2"

Flash nods solemnly "I was worried... don't do that again please"

Diamond did what she thought was appropriate

She jumped on Applebloom, hugging her tightly and kissing her violently

The young girl struggles to escape, nearly dropping her pen and chip "Let-mmph me put th- Mmm! Damn pars in!!"

Diamond lets go, blushing brightly "S-Sorry... I just-"

"Get excitable around me. Ah know. So... now what?"

Ganthet smiles "Simple, I offer you two jobs" he clears his throat "Welcome to OA comics! You two little ladies look like you could a job, and it just so happens that we have two vacancies! You only need a shiny morpher and a willingness to help save the world from evil, so, do you have the requirements?" he grins widely

Applebloom rolls her eyes and Diamond nods, trying in vain to hide a smile that would make Pinkie Pie jealous

"Good! Now... how do we explain the shop taking off and being a spaceship in disguise?"

Both girls blink and look over the bookshelves

What greets them is an endless expanse of stars and the moon looming close by, a large blue and green ball floating far away from them

Both girls gulp and curl up on the floor shivering, their eyes wide open and arms wrapped around the other

"Sp-sp-space? We're... in space?" Diamond's voice cracks, fear clenching her heart

"Ah... ah always wanted ta go ta space... but naht like this..." Applebloom whimpers, her accent thickened due to fear

Oak groans "Just great... I told you to tell them before you gave them morphers, now they're scared shitless!"

Ganthet shrugs "And I guess you were right. Now help me get back on earth, we need half as many people to pilot this thing than you would a type 40"

After landing, both girls burst through the door, kissing the ground

"Drama queens..." Oak mutters

Diamond looks up and blushes "Sorry, first time in space..."

Applebloom rolls onto her back, her chest heaving "Never... take... someone... ta space... without... consent..."

Ganthet smiles "Don't worry, you two go home and rest, we'll call you if we need- wait..." he leaves and returns with packets of paper "Just fill this out so that I can pay you, and notbesuedbyyourfamiliesshouldyoutwodieinthelineofdutyandisurvive"

Both girls take the packets, and the door closes, the sounds of moving furniture emanates from the shop

Diamond looks over at Applebloom "Best. First date. Ever."

Applebloom groans and punches Diamond in the face softly, both girls erupting in laughter, clutching their sides in pain

"Wha are we laughin'?!"

"I don't know! This is so freaking crazy!"

They roll on the ground, choking and laughing, passing people giving them strange looks and more staring at the store that had launched earlier that day

So... an above average day in Ponyville, all things considered.

Walking back to Sweet Apple Acres, Diamond chuckles

Applebloom stares at her "Another one of your weird nerd fantasies?"

"Sort of, I just realized I got everything I thought I would get if we went to the museum"

Applebloom's eyebrows knit "How's that?"

"Well, we found devices that gave us super powers, we're champions of stories, we get to save the world, and we went to space! All we need to do now is go to another planet or world and travel through time! That was the best first day ever! I mean, If I was reading a story about this, I'd say it was written by a hack with no idea of subtlety! But instead I feel like I could erupt into pure joy! I'm living my dream! No, we're living every kid's dream! We're fucking power rangers! FUCKING POWER RANGERS!!"

Applebloom backs away "yeesh, ah know, ah was there, remember? And ain't it supposed to be a secret?"

Diamond gasps "Yeah! AHG! I'm not even 5 hours and I'm already screaming it! I'm a failure!"

Applebloom sighs and kisses Diamond, holding her tight, the tantrum dying in her throat

Breaking the kiss, Applebloom flicks Diamond's forehead "No one else heard... okay? No need to panic"

Diamond nods "First rule of the hitchhikers guide, 'Don't panic'"

Applebloom kisses her again "Exactly... so... ah haven't th' slightest idea what a ranger is... can you explain it to me?"

Diamond squeals and Applebloom's stomach drops That's ALWAYS a bad sign... ALWAYS

"I can do you one better! I have all of the seasons and series back at my house! and all the merchandise ever! And if we get married, Ganthet will give me all of his memorabilia! this is the best day ever! Come on!" she pulls Applebloom behind her, heading to her mansion

"Wait! Marriage?! Who said anything about MARRIAGE?! Diamond? Diamond?! DIAMOND?! DIAMOND?!?!"

"I got food!" Diamond announces, carrying a pile of snacks, candy, and soda in her arms

"... You got any real food in there?"

Diamond sets all of the food down sorting it for a moment, her hair put in a ponytail*** "What else do we need? We've got all the food groups for binging, salty snacks, candy of every flavor, soda and fruit punch of every variety, and other assorted food"

"Uhhh... I meant like for a real dinner... speakin' of which, ah need to call my folks she reaches into her pocket "What the?! Where'd my phone go?!"

"On your arm"

Applebloom blinks "Riiiiight... forgot about that..."

"What do you want to eat? I can make anything so long as I know the recipe"

Applebloom looks up from her watch "How do you dial these things?"

"You swipe it like this and-" Diamond leans over to demonstrate but slips on a stray gumball, falling into Applebloom's lap

"Whao! You alright?!" she asks, Diamond pushing herself up "Yeah... just... slipped on some cand-"

Her mind processes the situation I'm in a dark room with my girlfriend, I just had the most ideal date of my life, and I have the chance to binge watch every episode and movie in the power rangers series, and OH GOD SHE SMELLS LIKE SWEAT! I... I never noticed how hot this day has made me... I need relief

Applebloom cocks her head "What's the- WHOA!" Diamond unzips Applebloom's jeans, exposing her underwear

Or lack thereof in this case

"Applebloom..."

She blushes "All mah underwear is in the wash... had ta go commando today..."

Diamond grins and takes an experimental lick, savouring the taste of sweat and apples

Applebloom moans, trying in vain to push Diamond away "St-stop... not here..."

Diamond smirks and kisses Applebloom, one hand dipping into her own pants and the other snaking under Applebloom's shirt "No, I need relief... and I only trust you to help me with that... and think of it as vengeance for almost running away"

Applebloom shivers as she feels her orgasm loom "Please... stop... someone might- AH!"

Applebloom squirms, her face bright red as she came "be... watchin..." she finishes, breathless

Diamond nods and walks over to the window and opens it, Scootaloo sitting on the branch, camcorder held steady in one hand "What? I'm not here remember? Unless you want to tell us your plans for her, go back to it. We're wasting valuable time"

"Scoots, not right now, or if you must, don't post it or give it to Rainbow and I'll give you double the usual. Okay?"

Scootaloo closes her camcorder "... double and a half, I wanna buy something I've had my eye on"

Diamond nods "So we have a deal?"

"Yeah, we have a deal, now go back! She'll notice you talking to me!"

Returning to Applebloom, she finds her asleep, pants still open "Really?"

After some shaking, Applebloom wakes up "What?"

"You fell asleep! And after I gave you a hand job! just like a guy... I think"

Applebloom blushes "Sorry about that... so... your show?"

Diamond grins "They can wait a few minutes, I need you now"

Applebloom gulps

"Now... just let me get my clothes off..." Diamond says, undoing her belt and pants

"No show?" Applebloom asks

"That's when I have the patience and right now, if I don't get off, I'm gonna have an aneurism" Diamond replies, pulling her shirt off

Applebloom shrugs and pulls her own shirt off, her pants sliding down her legs "So, what's th- MMPH!"

Diamond grabs Applebloom, holding her close as she ravishes her mouth, Applebloom's mind turning to applesauce in the process

Breaking contact, Diamond leads Applebloom to her bed, legs draped over the side "There are my prizes..." Diamond mutters huskily

Taking one foot, she licks it slowly, Applebloom moaning in pleasure "H-how does... it work on... my feet?"

"Pressure points my love" Diamond coos, pressing on the inner part of Applebloom's feet, the farm girl's body starting to spasm

Repeating the process on the other foot, Diamond grins "You know... this is kind of fun"

"Stop... ruinin' the moment"

She laughs "Sorry, so what you want to do now?"

"... Climax" Applebloom says brusquely

"Your wish is my command" Diamond says, starting to lick Applebloom's soaked snatch

She gasps, closing her legs around Diamond's head "Yes... right there... mmhh..."

Diamond smiles and doubles her efforts, humming as she does so

Outside Scootaloo grins "You should really be in a porno you two... oh wait, you already are!"

Applebloom moans and her legs tighten around Diamond as she comes, wordless moans emanating from her throat

She relaxes and smiles at Diamond "How... are ya... so good?"

Diamonand shrugs "I practiced on pillows a lot"

Applebloom motions for her to come closer, pulling her into a passionate kiss, sharing the taste of her fluid

They part, Diamond smiling "You can go wash up in the bathroom, I'll go make some food for us... real food"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, it's your turn"

"Wha- eek!" Applebloom flips her onto the bed, a devilish grin on her face "Ah'm gonna help ya"

Diamond blushes Oh god! Oh god! She's gonna go down on me! I hope this isn't another dream or fantasy

Applebloom winks and lifts her onto the floor, on her hands and knees "How did that dream go...?"

DIAMOND_TIARA.EXE_UNRESPONSIVE

ERROR_IN_BRAIN_DRIVE

ALL_WAT'S_ARE_DRAINED_OF_POWER

MEMORY_OVERLOADED

AUTOMATIC_START-UP_SCRIPT_UNRESPONSIVE

MANUAL_START-UP_SCRIPT_DISABLED

REFORMAT?

REFORMATING...

...

...

...

...

REFORMATING_COMPLETE

WINDOWS_STARTING_UP...

Diamond blinks "What?"

"Ah was askin' how that dream of yours went"

DIAMOND_TIARA.EXE_UNR-

"Oh no ya don't!" Applebloom says, yanking on one of Diamond's breasts

"AHN!" Diamond moans, her mind starting to cloud

"... Now ah remember how it went" Applebloom says, grabbing the other and starts a rhythm, not expecting any results

Oh how wrong she was

Diamond moans as she climaxes, Applebloom lightly hitting her rear

Diamond whimpers "Harder"

"But... ah don't want to hurt ya..."

Diamond smiles "Don't worry, I'm strong and you could never willingly hurt me"

Applebloom nods and hits Diamond's plush rear with a resounding smack

Diamond gives a primal growl of pleasure, her mind shutting down

Guess that worked... Applebloom thinks to herself when another part of the dream surfaces

She grabs Diamond's panties and slips them on, Diamond too far gone to notice

Returning to her pulling, Applebloom marvels at how elastic Diamond's breasts are compared to her hard ones

"M-more..." Diamond moans, her tongue hanging out

SMACK!

Applebloom rubs her smacking hand on her thigh "Ow..."

One of Diamond's hands starts to creep towards her snatch, the motion caught by Applebloom "Don't even think about it"

Undaunted, the hand still moves closer until it's placed back where it was, supporting Diamond's weight

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Diamond looses a shrill cry of pleasure as she climaxes, her breasts releasing warm milk onto the floor and Applebloom's hands

"Whoa... didn't know ya could do that..." Applebloom mutters, clenching and unclenching her hands

Diamond only whimpers softly, still squirming on the floor

I... wonder... what she tastes like... Applebloom thinks to herself, licking one of her hands

"YECH!" she spits, wiping the horrible liquid off her hands on the closest thing

Which happened to be Diamond's ponytail

"Oh crap. Sorry Diamond!"

Diamond makes no show of hearing her, still riding out her climax, looking like a fish yanked from the ocean and onto a boat

"... Sure hope she tastes nice..." Applebloom says, steadying Diamond's hips for a second, spreading her pussy open "... Pink is good right?"

Taking a lick, Diamond squeaks near silently, a second orgasm hitting her before she finished the first

... She tastes like mint and... raspberries... ah like it... Applebloom thinks to herself, suckling the swollen nub like Diamond had the first time

Diamond's mind exploded as she felt intense pleasure rake through her body, a fire seeming to grow outwards from her heart as she felt something more powerful than an orgasm rush through her

Power

Applebloom's mind is flooded by a similar feeling as she ravages Diamond's tender flesh, both girls seeming to glow as that feeling explodes outwards

Their watches glow, turning into devices in the shape of a miniature tablet, a symbol of a book with a blade pointing down above it, as if it was about to stab the book.

And as both girls yell out in pleasure, the sword lowers into the book, the glows intensifying

FANTASY SOURCE, POWER UP!

FANTASY SOURCE, POWER UP!

The glows die and laying on the floor are two costumed people panting, pink and red colored clothing on

Applebloom, heaving on the floor has a fire-red flared pea coat on and flame-patterned pants on, a pink scarf around her neck and a flintlock-esque gun holstered on her left side, a sheathed rapier with a flame design on the knuckle guard on her right. A full-head helmet with a black visor where her eyes would be, cut in the shape of a fruit slice, the skin pointing outwards

Diamond has a similar costume on except with a diamond-patterned skirt-blouse with similar weapons, and a diamond choker instead of a scarf glittering brightly. Her helmet is similar, but the visor is in the shape of a diamond

Applebloom groans "Ah feel funny... and heavy..."

"I know what you mean... I feel like I'm wearing... clothes... Applebloom?"

Applebloom stirs "What?"

"I... I think we morphed... like... just now" Diamond says, staring at her reflection in Applebloom's visor

"We what? Speak up, it feels like ah got... what the hey?!" she jumps, staring a herself "WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK AM I WEARING?!"

"Your ranger uniform... how does mine look?" she pirouettes in place, her skirt flaring when she does

"... Like a princess ah guess..." Applebloom says, crossing her arms

Diamond jumps and squeals, clapping her hands "That is so awesome!"

"How do I look? God ah hope ah don't look like a princess" Applebloom mutters

Diamond walks over to her, and throws an arm over her shoulder "Like a prince... my prince~"

Applebloom blushes "G-good to know... how do we change back?"

"Just do as I do, Strike an Ulitmo pose like this" she puts both arms over her chest "And then say 'Power down'!" she throws both arms down, her body glowing for a moment then disappearing, leaving the girl inside standing with a smile on

"Simple enough" Applebloom says repeating the motions

Outside in the tree, Scootaloo nearly pisses herself "Holy... Sweet... fucking flame-spewing crap-assed bitch with a bloody cunt..."

She turns the camera on herself "I... I got that on tape right? I gotta show Rainbow Dash!"

Jumping out of the tree, Scootaloo realizes she had forgotten a cardinal rule of life, one she had forgotten several times in her life, in fact, you'd think that a horny bird-monkey such as she would have learned, but alas, she had not. and what was that rule?

Gravity

"OH GOD I'M AN IDIOT!!!!" she screams, falling two stories to the ground, landing in a garbage can, unconscious

"Whee... I'ma burdee... tweet tweet~"

Author's Note

*that's right, we might just learn something here:twilightsmile:
** her is proof,

and I just want to say, one of my goals in life is to become a power ranger for real. WOULDN'T THAT BE EPIC?!
*** Pony tails are sexy, especially on the Tsundere heroine of fame, can anyone tell me what this is referring to?
and all thingies belong to their owners and all the junk. Do not sue me! :ajbemused:
Scootaloo: I told you to stop making me get hurt!
But it was hilarious!
Scootaloo: It wasn't!
I could've made your mutterings that you thought you were a chicken
Scootaloo: ... fine
And if you want, I could make a spin-off of this

The recovery

Applebloom sighed "Where did you even get this?"

Diamond looked up "Internet"

Applebloom struggled, her limbs held at her side "Isn't this the last epis-"

"SHH!" Diamond hisses, munching on her salad

Applebloom watched the screen with mild boredom, end credits rolling "Okay! Now it's done! Can ah go now?!"

Diamond shrugs and pulls a key from her pocket "You act as if you've never been strapped to a table before"

Rubbing her wrists, Applebloom glares "Ah haven't. Why do you even have that?"

Wheeling the table away into her closet, Diamond smiles "To hold down a submissive lover just in case they had that type of kink. I've also got Mexican rectal fireworks too"

Applebloom shivers "That does not sound pleasant... or safe"

"Different strokes for different dykes* I guess. Wanna go out and exercise?"

Applebloom stares "This ain't a plan to get into my pants is it?"

Diamond shakes her head, then grins seductively "Not unless you want it to be~"

Applebloom blushes, scratching the back of her head "Nah... ah'm good"

She shrugs "Okay then. So, you need to get home to get some new clothes, because as much as I love~ the smell of sex and shame on you... no one else will"

Applebloom sniffs her shirt, recoiling "Nah... just might have to burn these..."

Starting on the path to the gate, both girls hear pained grunting "C'mon... I can't be stuck..."

Applebloom follows the voice, rubbing her eyes at the spectacle before her "Scootaloo?"

The trapped girl looks up, her butt and torso save for her feet and arms stuck in a trashcan, her face red from exertion "Hi guys... I'm stuck... and I think my camera's broken"

Applebloom sighs "How did you even get stuck in here?"

"I was up in the tree, recording you guys go at it, high quality shit by the way, and then I saw you two turn into power rangers! So I jumped down to go show Rainbow Dash and... I forgot about gravity again"

Diamond picks up the camera and puts it in her bag "What were you going to tell her?"

Scootaloo snorts "I was going to tell her that you two are power rangers! And I have the proof on my camera!"

Applebloom smiles "Ah don't see a camera anywhere"

"What do you mean?" she asks, scuttling on her toes and fingers like a crab "My camera should be right here! Where did it go?!"

Diamond pulls out the camera "You mean this?"

Scootaloo turns, grinning "Yeah! Give it back!"

Diamond sighs "I can't do that Scuttleloo**"

Scootaloo blinks "Why not?"

"Because it's a secret ya moron!" Applebloom yells kicking the can onto its side

Ow! Hey! I can't get up! Help!"

"Then you need 'Viagra Alert'©®" Diamond says, rolling the captive girl onto the path off the property

"Why are we rolling? Guys? Where are we going?! I'm getting dizzy!!" Scootaloo yells, her face turning green

Applebloom laughs "Yeah! Let's roll her to Sweetie's place! That'll be fun!"

Scootaloo swallows her vomit "But... don't we have to go down like 5 hills to get there? And then the widow maker?"

Applebloom grins "Yup, have fun Skullovich"

Diamond beams "Oh my gosh! you actually made a reference! I'm so proud of you!" she hops and pulls Applebloom into a hug, her captive blushing "Ah guess ah did... can ya let go? Ah can't breath"

Diamond does, smiling wide "How about we go take our pet to Sweetie's before we celebrate?"

"I have a name you know!"

Applebloom shrugs "Why not?"

"Don't I get a say in this?!"

Both girls laugh "Nope!"

"Urgh... blegh... urp!" Scootaloo groans, digested food and spit all over her face and shirt

Diamond waves a hand over her nose "Couldn't you hold it in? You look like trash"

Applebloom laughs "Good thing she's already in the trash can!"

Scootaloo moans something incomprehensible, her eyes caked with vomit

Diamond rolls her eyes "I am not a whore, you take that back!"

Applebloom sighs "You can understand her?"

"Nope, I just wanted to say it because she's thinking it" Diamond replies, rolling the girl up to the doorstep of Carousel Boutique. after making sure Scootaloo is securely in place, she rings the door bell

"Coming~!" A melodic voice says, the door opening the chiming of a bell and Sweetie steps out, smiling at her friends "Good morning!" she envelopes Diamond in a hug, the girl returning it awkwardly

"Sweetie... ah'm sure the hug has lasted long enough... Applebloom says, freeing Diamond

Sweetie smiles and looks at the trash can, gasping "Scootaloo! What happened to you?!"

Scootaloo's eyes focus on the girl "Apple... mond... rangers... roll me..."

Sweetie giggles, the sweet notes of laughter settling Scootaloo's stomach "Applebloom and Daimond aren't power rangers! I'm not that gullible"

"Ya let her fondle your tits for half an hour last week because she said that if she did, they'd shrink"

Sweetie shrugs "I know she was lying to me, but if you asked to fondle me, I would've let you. all you need to do is ask nicely"

Diamond rubs her head "How could she have been the high school valedictorian?"

"Books smarts. Lotsa book smarts. An' no one 'cept you tried anythin' knowin' that me an' Scoots would beat 'em black and blue and every other color" Applebloom says, cracking her knuckles

Sweetie picks up the trash can and takes it around the back of the boutique, easily lifting it with one hand

"An' as it turns out, her understandin' of physics and junk makes her stronger than us. Do you know why Tough Nails left after a month at school? He got to close to Sweetie an' she gave 'em a whole knuckle buffet. Me an' Scoots got there in time to see him hobble away, Sweetie yawning like she had just woken up from a nap... luckily she's too obliv... oblivy..."

"'Oblivious'?"

"Yeah, that. To know when someone is insultin' or comin' onto her. And she's a pasi... Pacifier fist"

"'Pacifist'?" Diamond offers

Applebloom nods, the sound of a shriek breaking the relative silence

Both girls run around the store to see Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle soaking wet

"What th' hay happened?!"

Sweetie squeaks "I was trying to clean Scoots off but I forgot about the pressure nozzle and it got away from me..."

"I'm awake! I'm awake! Why am I wet and not in a good way?!" Scootaloo yells, spitting water out

Applebloom sighs "See what ah have to put up with?"

Diamond nods, helping Sweetie up "Why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"I never sleep with one! Rarity says I should but I don't want to hinder my growth" she replies

Diamond shrugs "I don't either, but that's usually because I masturbate a few times before I'm able to fall asleep"

Applebloom shakes her head "What? You've been fallin' asleep just fine"

Diamond blushes and leans over, kissing Applebloom's cheek "That's because I've had you close by the past few nights"

Scootaloo whimpers "Help me out of here, I'm sore, sick, cold, and wet..."

Sweetie smiles and picks up the can again, carrying it into the boutique

"Hot!" Scootaloo yells, wiggling in vain to escape Sweetie's hairdryer

"I'm almost done! My sister took the only hairdryer with her to Canterlot for that expo and I have to use Spike's heat gun!" Sweetie says, Scootaloo's skin reddening

"A HEAT GUN?! THAT"S FOR SEALING PLASTIC! DO I LOOK LIKE SIDING?!"

Sweetie cuts it off "There! All dry and clean!"

Scootaloo mutters something under her breath

"Now I can go get my paints!" She chirps, skipping away

"Paints?" Scootaloo whispers, trying to flip onto her side

Sweetie returns with a streak-covered smock, a large box of paints, brushes, a palate, and a burlap roll of cloth "Duh, you're trying to look like a hermit crab for Silver Spoon and Babs right?"

All three girls stare at Sweetie "Why would I do that?"

She blinks "Because they're coming here? They said that they texted you last night"

Scootaloo sighs "Sweetie, I can't reach my phone. It's probably in pieces right now anyways"

Applebloom stares at her watch "... Do ya have my pen?"

Diamond nods and passes it to Applebloom, both girls quickly drawing 'X's on their screens, the watches turning back into phones

"Hey, they did and-" Applebloom's phone rings "Uh oh, that's Applejack... hello?"

"WHAT THE HAY HAVE YOU BEEN DOIN'?! WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YA BEEN ANSWERIN' YOUR PHONE?!" Applejack yells, All four girls staring at the phone

"... Would you believe ah was asleep?"

"No. You run off yesterday, not tellin' me where you were going, and after calling you to come home 10 times, I had to call around, until ah got Mr. Gold and he says that ya'll've been hangin' with your girlfriend! Ah don't care where you are, but you need to get here in 10 minutes on the dot. If not, you'll have chores everyday for the next month! Now get back here!"

The line disconnects, Applebloom stunned

"Gotta go. Watch Scootaloo... an' should ah never see you again, Sweetie, you are a genius and a good friend. Diamond, ah love you with all my heart. And Scootaloo... Go die in a hole"

She runs out the door, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust in her wake

"... If she dies, can I have you?" Scootaloo asks, winking at Diamond

"If she dies, I'm going to let you out of the trashcan and dump you in a well"

Scootaloo grins "Okay then! So! Can I have my camera back?"

"Broken, I'm going to see what I can scavenge from it and the memory card. I'll try and get you a new one"

"Awesome. So, now that Applebloom's gone, we can finally get to talking about important stuff! How long have you been a ranger?"

Diamond sighs "I am not a power ranger. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Until you prove you aren't. Now Sweetie, pull me out of this please"

Sweetie shakes her head "No! You want Applebloom to die so that you get free! I'm going to make you look pretty and the n we go make sure she's okay!"

Scootaloo grumbles "Fine... My butt hurts"

Applebloom jumps through the door, panting "Ah'm... back..."

Applejack crosses her arms "Welcome back, you still had 2 minutes to spare"

Applebloom stares at the clock "Really? Wow, they were... right... it does make ya... better"

Ignoring her sister's words, Applejack pulls her into a chair "Now tell me what happened"

"Ya... wouldn't believe me... if ah told ya..." she pants

"Try me"

"Well, after takin' Diamond... to a comic store... one where she was hated for somethin' in the past... she apologized and-"

There are three rules to being a ranger: Never use your powers for personal gain. Never escalate a battle unless forced to, and never reveal your secret identity. a deep voice bellows in the back of her head

"We hung out there and before they closed, they asked if me an' Diamond wanted to work there" She pulls out the folded packet

Applejack puts it under her shoulder "Ah'll have Big Mac read it... He's the one with th' degree an' all... an never lets me forget it..."

Applebloom smiles "An' ah'm all sweaty from runnin' here, can ah go take a shower?"

Applejack nods and pauses "By th' way, Babs is comin'. Said she couldn't get'ya on the phone last night"

Applebloom shrugs "Sweetie told me that already sis"

After washing all the shame and sweat off, Applebloom walks out of the bathroom and past her brother "Mornin' Big Mac"

"Mornin'" he stops her and leans down "If ya'll're gonna sleep over at the Rich's mansion, call first"

Applebloom nods "My phone was dead and ah thought ya would be asleep"

He nods and walks past, when Applebloom stops him "Can ah borrow that book about the unconscious whale thingy?"

"Leviathan'? Why do ya'll want to read that?"

"My boss said it's good to know that kinda stuff if ya work in a bookstore" she half-lies, tightening her towel

"... Sure, just bring it back when ya'll're done"

She smiles and hugs her brother "Thanks big brother!"

"Eeyup"

"... Ah need Sweetie Belle for this..." Applebloom mutters, rubbing her head in pain

Not even ten pages in an' ah'm already callin' it quits. Maybe Sweetie an' Diamond could teach me... or maybe Twi

Hopping out of bed, she picks up the thick book and heads to the local library

Opening the door to the library, Applebloom finds Spike being carried by Rarity and Twilight down to the basement "Uh... am ah interruptin' anythin'?"

Twilight shakes her head "No, Spike just gave a lot of blood and he keeps moaning. So we're taking him someplace where he won't bother us while we work" she looks down at the moaning man "We just took 3 pints! Get over it you baby!"

Applebloom's mind slows "Don't people only have about 3 pints of blood?"

"Yeah! but we were in need of RH- and he's the only one in town who can give it. Berry is working, Vinyl is out of town, and Cadence is busy with her cycle"

Applebloom covers her face "Ah didn't need to know that last one..."

Twilight shrugs "Anyways, what can I do for you?" she drops Spike's head, the man groaning louder in pain

"Ah was lookin' for Sparklenotes©®on this book"

Twilight looks at the cover and nods "Yeah, let me just get them for you"

Applebloom walks over to Spike and Rarity "Why does she need Spike's blood?"

"For a way to synthesize more of it. Apparently it's rare and while I have it too, and so does Sweetie, she said that Spike's was probably the purest seeing as how he doesn't drink and Sweetie has hemophilia. So he said that he would help"

Spike moans and opens one eye "'Sup?"

Applebloom waves "Nothin' much. Babs is comin' today so now you two can talk about me an' Diamond's sex life in person" slugging Spike, she smiles "Told ya ah'd get ya when ya weren't expectin' it"

Spike groans, Rarity rubbing his face while glaring at Applebloom "Why now? He hasn't much blood in him!"

Applebloom shrugs and Twilight offers her a book "Here you go. Tell Big Mac that his copy of 'Advanced paradimensional physics and how to manipulate them to warp space-time and make profit' is in please"

Applebloom nods, not understanding a word

Sitting un the shade of a tree, Applebloom reads the book without enthusiasm, checking the thinner Sparklenotes©® books for definitions and translations of "Genius" to "Bumpkin"

"Hello Applebloom" someone says, coming closer

Looking up, she recognizes the local crazy-woman, Lyra Heartstrings and her best friend, Bonbon

"Heya Crazy horse" Applebloom greets, drawing a scowl from the woman "I am not crazy that I believe in mythical creatures!"

Bonbon rolls her eyes "You need to work on developing a sense of humor hun, she's just trying to get a reaction from you"

Lyra sighs "Fine.... So what are you reading?'War and peace'?"

"Nah, 'Leviathan'... even though it talks about a whale, it's pretty dry" Applebloom says, Lyra chuckling "That it is. So, have you seen any strange things going on in town?"

Well, I was in space yesterday, turned into a power range, andwatched every single episode of power rangers ever "Ah saw Scootaloo with her butt stuck in a trashcan scuttling around like a hermit crab this morning"

Lyra sighs "Dang, nothing worth looking into. So do you want to sample some of my newest melodies?"

Applebloom shrugs and Lyra pulls her signature instrument out, plucking chords slowly, the sound lulling her mind to rest

"... Too slow, got it" Lyra mutters, starting over with a faster tempo, the chords rousing Applebloom from her stupor

"That better?" Lyra asks, still playing her song

Applebloom nods, refocusing on the pages when an annoying humming interrupts the musical notes "What the hay is that noise?"

Lyra looks up and squints "Looks like a... BASS PISTOL!" she pushes Applebloom down and pulls out a tuning fork

Suddenly a loud explosion decks all three woman, Lyra's tuning fork vibrating on the ground at her feet

"DAMN! I missed!" someone yells, running over to them, a drone with a pair of sunglasses attached to them flying by

Bonbon sits up "VINYL! Why are you blasting us with your pistol?!"

The tall, pale woman stops in front of them, a blue and white laser-gun looking thing in one hand "Damn... drone... stole... my shades... can't... see... too bright..."

Lyra moans, rubbing her butt "I keep forgetting that you can't stand bright light... but did you need to blast it?"

"I've tried throwing rocks and junk at it, it kept dodging them so I thought an EMP would work... but because I can't see worth a shit I keep missing"

Bonbon sighs "Let us get it. Lyra, get to it"

Lyra salutes and pulls out a handgun "My jackal should kill that thing dead in the air... if it were actually alive..." She crosses her arms and fires a shot, the fleeing machine breaking apart mid-air

"Man, I should be a merc instead of a musician. Nah, I'm not crazy enough to do that"

Vinyl runs over to the wreckage and pulls a pair of violet shades out, placing them on her face "I can see! Finally! Thanks for that Lyra, you too Bonbon... wait, where did you even get that?"

Lyra puffs out her chest "I built it. Even have blessed bullets too but I just used legal types. Weighs a lot but worth it in power" she tosses it in the air and catches it "Bonbon nixed my plans to build a Harkonnan and apparently you can't build incendiary shells or depleted uranium ones... I mean, I have all trhe parts but I can't use them! What the hell am I supposed to do with like 20 metric tonnes of depleted uranium and thermite to send my house to Saturn and back?! Wait. I just answered my own question... Bonbon! Let's-"

Bonbon shakes her head "We aren't going to leave the planet. And no, you can't leave me behind. I may own the house but that doesn't mean you can turn it into a rocket"

Lyra frowns "Awww.... but... but... aliens... adventure..."

Vinyl shrugs "Same sitch' with me and Octi. I can't go sending my dubstepalites into space to rain supersonic havoc on my enemies and hack into the world economy to turn the international currency into a non-monetary system of honorable promises and exchanges or a hybrid socialist-capitalist economy based on a base value of 1-10. Seriously, she lost all of her money when she was disowned and I have a way to make it so that everyone has the same monetary standing as everyone else!"

Bonbon sits down next to Applebloom, whom had glazed eyes "Life is difficult with idiotic geniuses for friends. I know that you have experience in that too"

Applebloom wipes the drool of her mouth "Yeah, Sweetie is a complete ditz one minute, pulling out a portable yogurt machine the size of a purse that dispenses any flavor you can think of using air and milk... were they like that?"

Bonbon rolls her eyes "Yeah, Lyra came to class one day and she had a freeze-ray. Sure, she froze all the teachers and called it a snow day, but she also said that it used my entire refrigerator and she gave all my food to Derpy, who had a second one and froze the cafeteria so that she could steal all the biscuits" she laughs "And one day a few weeks ago, I come home to a dark house and standing there, clad in nothing but her bathrobe, was Lyra with a cold-burning candle she made and dinner. After that she brought out hand-churned ice cream and in the scoop was a precipitate 20 carat pink and blue diamond with shards of cobalt and opal grown inside of it and said that it had taken 5 years to culture and grow and proposed..."

Applebloom blushes, feeling honored to be told the story

"I turned her down the moment she opened her mouth" Bonbon says bluntly

Applebloom's mind shuts down "What?"

"Well I can barely keep my sanity just living with her, why would I want to be married to her?"

"That's a selfish reason. So what if she drives you crazy? You love her right?" Applebloom asks

"Well of course, why else would I live with her? She's been my best friend since preschool... and she's also the one who made me get into chemistry and confectionery in the first place... but she's also capable of blowing up the whole world!"

"Then you need to stop her from doin' that, and how better than to share your heart with her?"

Bonbon blinks "Oh dear... Lyra!"

She turns around "Yeah Bonbo- whoa!"

Bonbon kisses Lyra "Yes, I will..."

Lyra grins "Best birthday present ever! WOO!!!"

Bonbon and Vinyl both stare at her "It's your-"

"Yeah, My 24th, I didn't want to make a big deal about it and isn't Octavia's 50th tomorrow?"

"No, It's her 26th tomorrow" Vinyl replies "OH SHIT! HER 30TH IS TOMORROW! I need to go!" she runs off, her shoes glowing for a second before she leaps, easily clearing a light pole

Applebloom pats Lyra on the back "Congratulations Crazy Horse. Send me an invite?"

"Yeah! Come on Bonbon! We have a planet to colonize!"

"I said we weren't going off planet!" Bonbon yells, running after her

"... There are a lot of weird people in this town..." Applebloom remarks when a sack is thrown over her head "Of course"

Author's Note

*is this okay to say? I call some of my friends that and they seem fine with it
** just made that up
And here are the answers to the reference hunt in the chapter before last:

Pinkie in her basement cooking up some kind of witchy stuff, she told me that you had been by and after she made me sample her brew

Friendship is witchcraft

the Clampets

Beverly hillbillies

"We're blasting off again!!!!" they yell, disappearing into the horizon

Pokémon

Okay, I'm not Doctor X,

X-men (Marvel comics)

Crow, Tom, and Mike

Mystery science theatre 3000

I'm worried her husband will wonder if by the time she's done, he'll be too old to care"

Lewis Grizzard

and find Triassic gems that will lead to an adventure

Power rangers Dino Thunder

Or a ancient symbionic machine that will give you super powers

Blue Beetle (DC comics)

Or be chosen by an aging wizard to become a champion of magic

Captain Marvel (DC comics)

Or be teleported to another planet by a stray beam and have adventures saving that world, and being a hero!

Adam Strange (DC comics)

No, I time and space machine! That would be so fricken' awesome! Can we go to the museum to find a time machine?!"

Doctor Who (BBC television)

...GREAT MAKER

Babylon 5

Milia Jenius

Macross (Please tell me someone knows what this is... Please...)

Maxi

Soul Caliber (Video game franchise)

taun-taun

Star wars (Disney)

you sounded like Regina a bit

Once Upon A Time (Disney)

turning it into a hug like someone who ran a country*

John Fitzgerald Kennedy (President)

Yup, the 700 miles high club

The 700 club and The mile-high club

The visit

"Okay, set her down here" A harsh voice says, Applebloom's body set on a hard surface

"Let me go! Ah'll kick your butts so hard, you'll be coughin' up leather for the next week!" Applebloom yells, the sack pulled off her head

"Try it Cuz" A familiar voice says, Applebloom's vision clearing to see a grinning face looking down at her

"Babs?"

"Ding ding ding! We 'ave a winner! Tell 'er what she won!" Babs announces, clapping

"The people's palm!" Scootaloo yells, slapping Applebloom

"Hey! Ah'll get you for that!"

"You'll have to catch me first Hayseed!" Scootaloo mocks, slapping her butt

Applebloom sighs "Babs, untie me"

She ponders this for a few seconds "Nah, I got some questions for ya first. You been gettin' busy wit Diamond?"

"Doin' what?"

"Ya know, layin' 'er on the floor, havin' your way wit her body. Makin' her squeal in pleasure an' junk?"

Applebloom struggles to contain her blush "Yeah, so?"

Babs grins "Was dat so hard? Next question, what makes her hot under the collar?"

"Ah'm not tellin' ya that! That's personal!"

"Well then, I guess ya ain't gonna get out of dose ropes any time soon"

"... Fine, ah'll just sit here an' wait for her to come"

Babs snorts "Fat chance Cuz. We're in dat forest near town, she won't come 'ere for nothin'"

Scootaloo smiles "And we have an assistant to help us. Somebody smart, clever, and trust worthy..."

Sweetie Belle chases a butterfly, giggling adorably as she does

"... I wonder why Applebloom isn't answering her phone..."

"I guess she's a bit tied up at the moment" someone says from behind her

Diamond whips her head around and gasps "Silvy! You're here!"

Silver Spoon nods, spreading her arms for a hug, one that Diamond accepts instantly "How's it going with Bloom?"

Diamond smiles "Perfect! Who knew that you were right!"

Silver blinks "What? What do you mean by that?"

"Well as it turns out, I am in love with her! Whenever I'm around her I'm so excited and bubbly and happy! And best of all, She got me to go to OA and apologize! And then-"

There are three rules to being a ranger: Never use your powers for personal gain. Never escalate a battle unless forced to, and never reveal your secret identity. A familiar baritone says in the back of her head

"And?"

"And they gave us jobs! I'm going to work in a comics shop!" She squeals Smooth recovery!

"That's great! And have you two gone on a date yet?"

Diamond nods "Yeah! That was yesterday and it ended with a power rangers marathon!"

Silver stares at her "Applebloom liked that?"

"She got bored after a while, but by that time, we were nearly done"

Sweetie skips over and hugs Silver Spoon, the thinner girl easily squeezing the life out of Silver

"Nice... to see you... too... Sweetie... I can't... BREATH!"

Sweetie releases her, smiling her trademark heartmelter "I'm so happy to see you Silver! I've missed you so much!"

Adjusting her shirt, Silver smiles "Why? We face-timed last night"

"But that's different than actually being able to hug you! How's Babs by the way?"

Diamond nods "Yeah, how is she?"

Silver rolls her eyes "She hasn't come home with gun shot wounds lately if that's what you're asking. I may be an EMT but sometimes I feel like... who's Batman's butler?"

"Alfred Pennysworth"

"Yeah, him. All I need her to do is put on a costume and go around at night fighting people. Or become Spiderman and hide it from me like he does his grandmother"

"She's his great aunt May" Diamond corrects

"Whatever. Anyways, enough about her, how are you two doing?"

"I'm good! I could go for a fruit smoothie though" Sweetie replies

"I'm cool too. Just wondering why Applebloom isn't answering her phone..."

Silver shrugs "Dunno, how about we go get lunch? You can tell me about what I've missed"

Sweetie squeals and skips away before another butterfly catches her attention

"... Are you sure she isn't-"

"I have no idea. I think it might just be an act though" Diamond replies, following Sweetie

"... Got any twos?" Scootaloo asks

"Nah, go fish"

Applebloom sighs "Are you two really playin' 'Go fish'? In the middle of the forest, with me tied up?"

"Yup"

"Don' see why not, we're waitin' for our agent to contact us so that we can bring ya back wrapped up all nice-like"

"... An ah thought my accent was thick" Applebloom says, earning a slap from her cousin "Any fives?"

"Go fish Scout" Scootaloo replies

Babs rolls her eyes "Never heard that one before"

"Hey, I can't help that whenever we play, I'm a better Spy. 'You died as you lived, a virgin' And my favorite one 'Well! Off to see your mother!'" Scootaloo says, sounding like a Frenchman

"Spies... always messin' wit my plans..."

Applebloom groans "Ah have no idea what you two are talkin' about"

"Video games" both girls reply

"Got any threes?"

Pinkie Pie walks over, her top missing and her beyond-cartoonishly-large breasts covered only by a steel-grey bra "Here are your smoothies!"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Silver asks, covering her eyes

"Laundry day" she replies, setting the glasses down with a flourish before waving to someone who was whistling

"... What color of the spectrum is she on?" Sweetie asks, drinking her smoothie

Your one to talk! both girls think to themselves

Silver sighs "How's Scootaloo? Still stealing panties?"

"No, she's gone from stealing panties to video-taping people having sex" Diamond replies

"Wait, really?"

"Yup! She also takes pictures of me when I'm in the shower for her blog! I don't know how me being naked helps her blog, but she says that I'm one of the biggest attractions!" Sweetie says, smiling

Diamond face-palms "Sweetie... her blog is for candid shots of people who are having sex or in the nude. She's a peeping tom!"

"That's the name of her site! 'Peeping tom'!"

Silver groans "I have to ask, why on earth are you this oblivious?"

"I spend a lot of time reading" Sweetie replies

Diamond smiles weakly "I just think it's best to let her be... Sweetie, what is that?"

"A rewinder! Watch!" she steps back and fires it, her smoothie refilling like magic "I rewound an event that happened without affecting my own person!"

Silver taps Diamond "You're the Sci-fi freak here, translation?"

"She basically undid the event of the smoothie being drunk without removing it from her body. Like pressing rewind on a video"

"Exactly! Now I just need to find a way to pause things..." Sweetie puts the gun back in her purse and begins to drink her smoothie again

"Hey! You've got to pay for that!" Pinkie yells, a plain white wife beater on

"I already did!" Sweetie says, glaring at Pinkie

"I saw you reverse the event of it being drank! you may have gotten infinite refills on a linear timeline but I won't stand for such abuse of space time without a permit!"

"But I do have a permit! See?!" Sweetie says, pulling out a piece of paper

"... This is psychic paper. You can't fool me Sweetie Belle. I'm afraid I have to make a citizen's arrest"

Sweetie smiles "Of course you have to, just let me put this back and- SMOKEBOMB!"

Dragging both girls away, Sweetie giggles "This is fun!"

"Get back here!" Pinkie yells, chasing them

"What's going on?!" Silver yells

"I don't know!" Diamond replies, Sweetie pulling another device out of her bag " Hold on!"

All three girls are enveloped in light before just escaping Pinkie's grasp

Slowly Diamond comes to, her whole body aching "What happened?"

"We teleported silly!" Sweetie says, helping her up

Silver Spoon straightens her shirt "I don't know why I'm surprised by anything in this town anymore"

"... Are we in the everfree forest?"

"Nope! We're in the south Amareican rain forest! In... 1532 AD"

"Wait, did we travel through space and time?" Diamond asks

Sweetie nods "Yup! I wonder if we'll meet any amazons or Incans! Oh no! We're all white!"

Silver cocks her head "Why would- Oh crap, that's right before Pizarro conquered Peru! Quick! Get us back to our own time!"

Sweetie types and once again all three girls are enveloped in light when Diamond spots something "Hey... isn't that our mail girl?"

All three girls look up and indeed flying around with her jet pack is Ditzy Doo, a golden object in her hands

Before they are able to say anything, they are gone

"Does it fit in a mailbox?" Scootaloo asks

"Yeah" Babs replies, scratching her nose

"Is it a mongoose?" Applebloom asks, bored

"Dang it Applebloom! How are ya so good at dis?!" Babs asks

"Ah've played that game with my brother for years when ah'm bored and he ain't readin' a book"

Scootaloo shrugs "Sounds legit. So, wanna play hangman?"

Applebloom groans

"WHY ARE THEY CHASING US?!" Silver asks, jewelry dangling from her neck

"You insulted them!" Sweetie says, dressed like a pirate

"What did she say?!" Diamond asks, a whalebone dress with a leather corset on

"'Whatever' is the equivalent of 'Screw you and your entire family' in their language! I may have a time and space machine, but it doesn't have a long range translator!" Sweetie says, all three girls disappearing again as a clatter of swords marks their departure

"Are we... home yet?" Silver asks

Sweetie shakes some dirt out of her hair "Right place, day, and month... wrong year"

"That's good, right?" Diamond asks, brushing her dress off

"Uhhhh... no. We're about 50 years in the past... so..."

All three girls are surrounded by burly policemen "What are you three doing out here so late at night?"

Silver face-palms "Prohibition... of fucking course. They think we're whores or something"

Sweetie grins "Don't worry guys, I know somebody in this time, just stay silent and I'll get us out of here"

She clears her throat "I will have you men know that I am the niece of Mr. Gold Bags and these two are my friends. We were on our way to my dear uncle's house when we were accosted by some unsavoury types. We promptly dealt with them but they got away before we could properly detain them. They went towards... I believe it is called Grift's street?"

All the officers stare at their clothing "And why are you dressed like this?"

Sweetie sighs "My uncle had sent us to a costumed ball of sorts at the bakery? It is Friday is it not? We were going to walk home but I just got word from my uncle via his butler, Mr. Key, who left to go hail us a car so that we wouldn't have to sully our costumes too much whilst traveling"

The officers nod and run towards the aforementioned street as a Rolls-Royce approaches, a man with streaked blonde hair stepping out "Mistress Belle! How wonderful it is to see you again!"

Sweetie curtsies "I was not gone for but a week in both our timelines. I knew that bequeathing you with the tracking module would help us greatly. You are such a dear friend Bronze, I do hope that I will someday be able to repay your immense loyalty"

The elder man blushes "I am still a married man Mistress Belle, I cannot take such-"

Sweetie giggles "I meant not that, I meant only that I may be able to assist you in a magnitude equal to my debt. I suppose uncle is aware I am here?"

Bronze nods and opens one of the car's doors "He has been expecting you. I trust these other two are your friends?"

Sweetie nods and walks into the car, but not before wiping her shoes clean of dirt with a handkerchief "Yes, the young lady in the baroque dress is Miss Diamond Dazzle Tiara, and her very old and mutual friend, Miss Silver Finery Spoon"

Both girls curtsy and step into the car, wiping their shoes as well

Bronze closes the door and walks around to the driver's side and drives towards an all too familiar mansion

All three girls sit in a lavish library, a crackling fire in great contrast to the gloomy weather outside, the flame's light casting shadows over a multitude of books, one of which is being read by Sweetie as she drinks heavenly smelling tea

Diamond breaks the silence "What... just happened?"

Sweetie looks up and smiles at her friends "It's quite simple, I have came to this time before. In fact, I spent about 4 years here the first time"

Both girls stare at her "What?"

"When I first started to travel, it was purely by accident. I was trying to simulate the theoretical Higgs-Boson particle and accidently created a warp in space-time. I traveled through time, sometimes appearing for only a second, just long enough to be seen then gone to another. I finally grabbed hold of something and unfortunately, it was a tree branch and I was upside down.

"After that I found myself with amnesia and a broken arm, my simulator still clutched in my hand. Two passing people saw me hobble out of the woods and took me in. they tried to find out where I came from and after a few months, they formally adopted me. I was visiting my uncle Gold Bags whom I had heard so much about. As I was driven here, I found the scenery very familiar and upon seeing the mansion, my memories returned slowly, almost like the trickle of water on one's skin.

"Though when I came into the house, I saw something that I knew. The painting at the top of the main stairs, the one of the founder of the family, Maximillion Fauntleroy*.

"Then I remembered everything. They told me I clutched my head and fainted, muttering about things they couldn't understand. When I came to, I was under the care of the family doctor and I told her who I was and when I was from. Of course, they thought that I'd lost my mind but after a few days, Gold came up to me and said that he would help me in any way he could.

"I was overjoyed that he let me stay to work for him and so I went to work, 3 years spent gathering, making, and testing parts for my simulator-turned-time-and-space-machine. In that time I was taught by the greatest engineers, philosophers, and scientists of the time. I learned so much from the very people we read about in school. I even had a bit of a crush on Dr. Turing" she blushes a little "But alas, I knew that no matter how much I wanted to be in this time, It wasn't mine to be in. So after leaving detailed instructions for my dear, dear uncle on how to survive the oncoming disasters both natural and monetary, I left for home, tearful farewells left unsaid in my heart"

Silver claps, tears streaming down her eyes "Bravo! That was beautiful Sweetie!"

Diamond claps too then stops "Wait, if you were adopted by them... then that makes you my long-lost great great great aunt!"

Sweetie grins "I guess I am. Is that weird?"

Diamond nods "Pretty much. I mean, I can barely wrap my head around time and space travel..."

Wait, I just became a power ranger and went into space yesterday... Okay, now I can wrap my head around it she thinks to herself "But the fact that you are my ancestor of sorts is pretty... I don't think there's a word for this"

"Wumbo?"

"Yeah, that works" Silver says, fingering the pearls around her neck "Wait! I still have all the jewelry! Even the ones you two stole!"

Sweetie grins innocently "I have no idea what you're talking about. What space pirate treasure?"

Silver groans and rubs her face "I knew I should've listened to my horoscope... 'You will travel far today with the aid of a friend. Do not forget to pick up some loose bits today, they me worth something'..."

Diamond grins "Well, I got my wish! I got to travel through space and time! Oh! Can I be Sarah Jane Smith?"

Sweetie shrugs "Whatever floats your boat I guess. Unfortunately, I kinda ran out the battery on the machine so we need to wait a few hours before we can go home... I mean, I built this thing! I should be able to use it! Wait... I had it on shuffle"

Silver stares at Sweetie "'Shuffle'?"

Sweetie smiles weakly "I used some of the parts from my Pear phone micro to build it... I keep forgetting to turn shuffle off... whoopsies"

"Did you leave the brakes on?"

"No... wait, no, they're off" Sweetie replies, placing the device back in her pocket

A tall, mustachioed man walks in, an ironed suit giving definition to each muscle, his hair slicked back into what would be known as a pompadour "Sweetie! How's my favorite Little Welles doing?"

Sweetie jumps and embraces the man, the giant returning it in a similar manner

"Diamond... he looks like a cross between Big Mac and your dad..." Silver whispers

Diamond just nods

The hug ends and he turns his attention to the two other girls "I'm guessing you are my descendant? Nothing can hide those sparkling blues of my family"

Diamond nods "H-hello Great grandfather Gold Bags..."

"Come now! I'm just Gold! You make me sound like I'm a yogi or something" he says, chuckling

Silver bows "Hello Gold, I am Silver Spoon, I do believe I am a descendant of your good friend Fine Silk?"

Gold bows "Yes, I see his blood is strong in you as well. Tell me, did his textiles ever truly recover from that fire?"

Silver stands and shakes her head "I'm afraid that must be my secret. I think it unwise to speak of the future"

Gold nods "Understandable. Now, would you three please follow me to the dinning hall? I'd like you meet my son, Gold Stone"

"Wonder what's keeping them..." Scootaloo says, grinding on a tree

"Dude... jus' stop dat shit right dere, seriously, no one needs ta see dat" Babs says, covering her eyes

Scootaloo shrugs "The sap feels nice on my cunt. keeps it nice and tight too... and it makes me smell like pinesol so nobody can smell the used undies and skid marks"

Babs looks down at Applebloom "She always like dis?"

"Unfortunately. Hey, give me some more crackers, ah'm hungry"

Babs pulls out a sleeve of crackers "It ain't what de higher class-types eat, but it's cheap, fillin', and ya don't have'ta work 'em off too much"

Sitting at a large table, everyone talks amicably over food prepared for their own palates

Diamond blinks and looks up and down the table "The staff eat with you?"

Sweetie nods "Yeah, they make the food and clean the mansion with help from us so we always invite them to dine with us. But I think Fine China is giving me the evil eye again"

Gold snorts "She is just jealous that the talking isn't about her and you pop in from time to time and she just doesn't like what you consider good fare"

Sweetie looks down at her thin tea and biscuits, a side of steamed potatoes and sardines in oil and a small plate of cakes and wafers "What? I'm frugal with my food. And I can never find good sardines in the future, all of it is too... gamey"

Diamond stares at her "So... you like cheap food? I thought Rarity would have caviar or something luxuriant every day"

Sweetie giggles "No, She may act like it but more often than not before Spike got her heart, it was usually instant noodles and energy teas before crashing face-down at her desk. And caviar is just... ew!"

Gold nods "Yes, the idea of eating raw fish eggs, no matter how expensive it is a bit... out there, and I'm sitting at dinner with a trio of time travelers, one of which will be my great granddaughter"

Silver shrugs "Strangely, this is the second strangest thing to happen to me today... or so far in my life I guess... Sweetie, we need words for this kind of thing"

Sweetie nods "I've been trying to get my fellow members to side with me but they just want to rule and be smarter than everyone else. What's the point of being in MENSA and the illuminati if you can't make the world better?"

Diamond shivers "The...Illuminati?"

"Yeah, I mean, secret society aside, they're just a bunch of mean old guys and women that haven't had a good time without harming others. Well, besides me and the VP"

Silver chokes "The... vice president is an Illuminati?"

Gold shrugs "So? Masons are better at being constructive... or so Silk tells me"

"Oh yeah, I forgot my family are masons..." Silver mutters

Diamond just stares at all of them "Well, this has gone from weird to just plain scary..."

"Don't go!" Sweetie says, holding onto Diamond's sleeve

Diamond sighs "Fine... so... can I borrow the machine so that I can have a date spanning space and time? you know, so that it will be the most epic date ever?"

Sweetie shakes her head "Sorry, only I can pilot it and make it work. I could take you places and times and leave you two alone... but that's it"

Diamond shrugs "That's cool with me. So, is our being here messing with the fabric of reality or something?"

"Nope! Well, so long as we don't cause an important event to not happen or accidentally kill or maim someone who isn't important to our existence"

Silver holds up her hand "Don't go any farther, anymore talk of time travel and paradoxes and I will slap you both back to the present"

Gold grins "Ha! That's definitely Silk's blood! Hard to anger but very volatile as well"

Silver blushes "S-sorry..."

Sweetie shrugs and Diamond brushes it off "It's cool. So when will the machine be charged? Not to be rude, but I want to get back to the present"

Gold shrugs "I know what you mean, homesickness is always there, and though this may be your home in your time, it isn't in this one. Just make sure to come back and visit before I'm an old man"

They all smile and something beeps in Sweetie's purse "Done charging! How about a toast? To family and friendships that survive all of time? To the unknowable future and the glorious past? To life, riches, and wenches? To hope, and for a better tomorrow? To us and those will come and will have come before and after us?"

Silver wipes a tear from her eye "That was beautiful..."

Everyone at the table lifts their cups, even the leering Fine China

"To all that stuff she said! And to the ingenuity of man!" Diamond says, grinning wide**

Babs hiccups "A toasht... ta booshz... life an... oth'r junk..."

"Amen shishter! An' ta hoes... nevr ferget th' hoes... n'matter what... Mlike da hoes..." Scootaloo mutters, naked against her grinding tree

"yeah... Hoes're good... ya... ya guys ever wonder... why Applejack... booty looks... like a... like a... like two chabby kids tryin' to get out've 'er pantsh? I mean, they're just... THERE! Beggin' to be- Urp! beggin' ta be... squeezed?" Rainbow Dash slurs, gropping invisible buttocks

"... ya ever notice how AH'M STILL TIED UP?!?! LET ME THE HAY GO!!!" Applebloom yells, struggling to escape her ropes

Babs waves her hand at her "Shut it cuz... yer ruinin... mah buzz..."

Scootaloo moans "Ah... ya ever jusht... shit in yer own shame? OR! OR! We should try to lick our cunts like cats an' dogsh do! Or even better! We could grow cocksh and shuck on them all day! Thash like th' ultimate shing that man hash wanted fer like... EVER!"

Rainbow laughs "Yeah! Horsecocks! We could shtuff 'em in our shocks and jusht whip 'em out to shuck on! Like po'sicles!"

"... Ah'm surrounded by drunk idiots..."

Author's Note

* the name my host's father wanted to name him, so that when he had his initials read, it would be MF
** If anyone ever drew these scenes, I would be so full of joy to see my words turn to art... because I can't draw worth shit
For the record, I have no idea where most of this came from and I don't regret it. this is freaking awesome!
and for those of you who want some ScootaBelle... you'll have to wait!:pinkiehappy:

The confession

Diamond, Sweetie, and Silver couldn't begin to process the scene in front of them.

Laying against a tree, covered in sap, Scootaloo mutters drunkenly, her shorts around her ankles and one hand stuck awkwardly in her pubic hair

Rainbow faired no better and snored loudly, her tracksuit open to the waist, her whole upper body bare except for Babs who snored on her chest, an empty bottle in one hand, leaves in the other.

And finally, Applebloom looked at them, her arms held to her sides by rope, her hair in disarray from struggling "Took ya long enough"

Diamond squeaks and runs over to Applebloom, quickly untying her "What did these savages do to you?!"

Scootaloo blinks and hisses at her "Shut it! Ruinin' my buzz..."

She slowly gets to her feet, hobbling drunkenly towards Sweetie "Sweet-swee... swee pee gee see... Sweetie! 'Mer... got shumshin ta tell ya..."

Sweetie steps forward, quickly catching Scootaloo in her arms "What is it?"

Her eyes lazily focus on Sweetie "What the fuck're you wearin'? Ya look like Jack Fuckin' Sparrow! 'Cept cuter... an' sexier..."

Sweetie shrugs "Ended up on a ship with space pirates, had to look like I belonged"

Scootaloo hiccups "Musht be somethin' in th'..." she picks up a bottle, squinting "... whatever dis shtuff is... like... crazy pills... LCD! Yeah, that, LCD..."

Applebloom rubs her wrists "Ah would usually slug her an' th' rest, but they'll pay when mornin' comes around" she looks Diamond up and down "Why do ya look like that French cake lady from history class?"

"Marie Antoinette? She never said that, in fact, she was probably so oblivious that she didn't notice the rioters until they were beating down her door" Sweetie says, zipping Rainbow Dash's tracksuit up

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Whatever. Anyways, why?"

Diamond smiles "I'll explain later. You want to carry Babs and I'll carry Rainbow?"

"I got Babs" Silver says, throwing her over one shoulder "I have a lot of experience carrying Babs home drunk"

Sweetie bride carries Scootaloo "I have Scoots, you two get Dash"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah'll get her arms, you get her legs"

After the mandatory Sharpie break, they take Rainbow Dash home

"Time travel? Ain't that th' last thing on your perfect date list?" Applebloom asks, cracking her joints

Diamond nods "Yeah, Sweetie is our very own doctor. Oh! Do you have a sonic?!"

Sweetie smiles and nods to her bag "Yes, it should be underneath the Chronal universe networking terminal"

Applebloom sighs "Sweets, acronym"

Sweetie's eyebrows knit in thought before she blushes "C.U.N.T.... Fiddlesticks!"

Applebloom stares at her "What does my second cousin have to do with it?"

Sweetie pouts "The expletive, not the person. Diamond, it should be under the-"

Applebloom holds out her hand "Don't say it, please. For my sake"

Diamond pulls her hand and head out, a small device in one hand, her gaze vacant

Silver does a double take "It- how- what? How did she-"

Diamond stops walking, hugging herself and trembling as a grin spread across her features "It's... it's... it's... IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! HOLY MOTHER OF DAVROS, IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!!!"

Sweetie nods "Yeah, the technology is sound and Time Turner helped a bit"

Silver shivers "Can we go somewhere I can process all of this? I want to return to reality now"

Sweetie smiles "Sure! Let's go to Oa! I know the manager"

Applebloom and Diamond exchange worried glances

"Hi Ganthet!" Sweetie chirps, the tall man looking at her immense interest "Hello Sweetie! Why are you dressed like a space pirate and have an unconscious girl covered in tree sap in your arms?"

Sweetie smiles weakly "I'm pretty sure context just makes it worse"

Silver follows, flopping onto a chair, groaning "You have no idea how hard it is to walk in heels that haven't even been designed yet..."

Diamond and Applebloom walk in, the packets of waivers held out to Ganthet

He takes them and leans down "Figure it out yet?"

Diamond smiles but Applebloom claps a hand over her mouth "Sort of. Ah still need to be told how to get the daggum watch to work"

Ganthet shrugs "Understandable. We can talk tomorrow at noon? The store is usually vacant then"

Both girls nod and Diamond looks around the store, then at her dress "Uuhh... I feel suddenly self-conscious... wh-where do I sit?"

Oak walks out from the back and coughs out a laugh "What the hell?! I know I called you princess last time, but I didn't mean for you to come dressed as one!! Oh God, I gotta get a picture" he pulls out a pear phone and snaps several pictures before putting it in his pocket "Seriously, what's with the get up?"

Sweetie looks up from petting Scootaloo's head "Time travel, space pirate wedding, running away"

Both men nod "Not the strangest thing that's happened to you"

Applebloom stares at them "You belie- oh, of course you'd believe her considering your jobs"

Ganthet shrugs "In our line of work, you see a lot of things... and as to where you can sit, Flash! Help Diamond out of her dress!"

Flash walks out, a peeved look on his face "You know I have Gynephobi- Oh, a classic whale bone/ corset, yeah, let me get the skirt off you, and loosen the corset too, that might be loose by the past's standards, but still too tight"

Diamond nods and after a practiced series of movements, Diamond breathes out "Holy crap... I was holding my breath?"

Flash looks at the inside of the dress "Uhhh... wherever you got this... it's illegal. It's made of a series of human bones and teeth. And the cloth is... I hope I'm wrong... shark skin... and the leather is..." he shivers "Human as well... where in the name of Khorne did you go?"

Diamond shrieks and pulls the corset and brace off, throwing it at a window as if it had bit her

Sweetie checks her pirate jacket "... Ganthet, do you have that copy of the symbol codex I brought you on hand, do you?"

The man nods and pulls out a large tome with the words "Codex of symbols and what they mean"

Motioning for him to set it next to her, she opens it and traces down a series of symbols, her face paling when she stops "Uhhh... Guys, w-we just pissed off a group of slaver pirates... and the third most notorious..." she looks at Silver who was drinking a bottled water "I think you should take being taken as the bride of 'Karzda-beroun the first' as a tremendous complement... because he had the most discerning tastes in women in the history of the 5th great age of piracy"

Silver stares at her and pulls out a large ring "... So I'm guessing this ring he gave me wasn't just because he thought it complemented my eyes?"

Ganthet walks over, a loupe in one hand "Let's see that- HELLO!" he steps back "I may not be a jeweler, but that right there, has too many facets... I'd guess that if you were able to sell it, it'd fetch you the hope diamond and the crown jewels with enough to leave the entire world in debt..."

Silver stares at it "Really?! And I just threw that away with a simple 'Whatever'? Oh my god, I'm gonna faint..." she gasps and falls into Ganthet's arms

Diamond picks the ring up, inspecting it herself "... Silvy... you just hit the world's biggest rotten boon"

Applebloom stares at her "Aren't ya cold? Ya ain't got anything on 'sides your bra and panties"

Diamond gasps, covering herself "C-can someone get me a shirt and some pants? I left mine back on the pirate ship"

"Do ya still have your phone?" Ganthet asks

Diamond nods, fishing it out of the corset, pen attached to the side

Diamond sighs, hugging Flash "You're a good friend, Flash"

His body goes rigid "no touching... gynophobic, remember?"

Diamond releases him "Sorry"

"How did you even have a pair of clothes that would fit her?" Oak asks, reading a comic

OH SHIT! They don't know Star left a pair here when Blues spilled orange soda a month ago! Wait! That's it!

"Star's emergency clothes" she mouths

He turns "They're Star's spares. I figured that they might have similar sizes"

Ganthet nods to Diamond "Whenever you get the chance, return them to us, Star Sapphire is a close friend of ours"

I know how close she is because I'm her! Diamond bites her lip "I will, thanks"

Applebloom stands up "Well, ah can see ah have no business in here so ah'm gonna go home and sleep in my bed. G'night"

Diamond wants to reach out but doesn't It's better if I don't... I don't want to seem clingy

Applebloom pauses "Actually, why don't we have a sleep over at Sweetie's? The dangerous trio and the snob twins under one roof! What do ya guys think?"

Silver shrugs "Cool with me, I was going to stay with Babs so that she doesn't cause trouble but... I'm sure all 5 of us can handle her"

"There's another one of you? Where is she?" Oak asks

They all point to the door

Oak looks out, quickly earning him a punch "Yer gonna have ta be faster'n me ta sneak up on me... troll person... FUCK! I'm drunk..."

He walks back in, holding his face "She punched me..."

"She does that a lot" Silver says, standing up "I'm going to spend the next few hours on the floor, nude, and with this ring. Draw your own conclusions as to what I'm going to be doing"

Diamond stares at the corset and skirt, biting her lower lip "It looks good on me, but made of shark and humans..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes and picks up the clothing "My family has human-skin lampshades, made from the skin of deceased relatives an' back in th' olden times, people who slept with sons an' daughters out of wedlock... or so Granny says, and that does explain why she has that one with the tattoos actually... huh, never thought of that"

Sweetie smiles and carries Scootaloo out "Have a nice evening guys!"

Diamond shivers and follows Applebloom "That's... disturbing in too many ways"

Diamond stares at the dress on a mannequin "... It's both macabre and beautiful"

Silver sets the 5th necklace in a box "I can't believe that I could've been the wife of a space pirate. But hey, I have the most valuable diamond worth so much that I could bankrupt the world"

Sweetie giggles "I Have the perfect girl in my lap and the closest friends I could wish for"

"... You have what?" Applebloom asks

"The closest friends I could ever ask for?"

"... That's what ah thought you said" Applebloom says, scooting closer to Diamond "Ah think that you pull that dress off nicely Diamond"

Diamond shivers "Don't be creepy Bloom, that is a fascinating and yet grotesque abomination"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah tried. So, did ya get me any shiny things?"

Diamond nods and pulls a sword out of Sweetie's bag "I got this from the pirates' vault. Look, it has your family crest on it!"

Sweetie looks up from Scootaloo "It's a sword from your descendants to commemorate something that happens in a few months I think. I don't know who though"

Applebloom lifts it, her hand slipping into indentations on the grip "Wow, feels like it was made for me... actually..." she stares at the hand gripping it "Ah think may be made for me... my fingers fit in there perfectly"

Diamond shrugs "I thought that since it had your family crest on it, you might like it"

Sweetie shakes her head "I think Applebloom's right, I mean, she could be the one who does something but if that's true, and me bringing it back to our present, that would mean that there must be two blades the exact same at some point..."

Applebloom stares at the blade "My brother talks about time travel a lot and that junk, he explains his theories to me but I can barely follow. But ah do know that there are two explanations; one, what Sweetie said about there being two blades... and two, that there is only one and the one that someone in my family gets it from me... and if so-"

"Where did it come from originally to set off this fixed moment in time? Oh wow, I think we've gotten another rotten boon" Diamond and Sweetie finish, speaking in unison

Silver groans "Okay, I'm going to a locked room to do what I said I would as we left the shop. I need out of the crazy now"

Applebloom sighs "So do ah, but it seems to follow me like a bloodhound"

Sweetie frowns "We can talk about something else... you can choose if you want"

Silver rolls her eyes "Fine, but one more thing that gives me a headache, and I'm out. Okay... how about we talk about guys and girls we like?"

Diamond and Applebloom stare at her "Uhh... should we go?"

Silver shakes her head "Nah, I'll start... since I haven't been here in a while, how are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum doing? Still have the silhouette of the number 10?"

"Ya mean Snips an' Snails? Diamond, don't ya have their numbers?"

Diamond pulls out her phone "Yeah... Sweetie, does your TV have a intelli-phone receiver for face time?"

Sweetie nods and points the small device Diamond had pulled out earlier at the TV, it popping to life before turning to black "Go for it"

Diamond taps her phone and the screen blinks, two screens appearing on the screen which are quickly filled by the two aforementioned men

"What's up D?" Snips asks

"Silver's visiting and she wants to know if you guys are still a string bean and a pumpkin" Diamond says, Applebloom covering Silver's eyes

Both guys smirk "Yeah, I guess we do leave people speechless because of our size" Snails says, flexing his arm

Silver sighs "They're worse, aren't they? Snails is a stick-bug and Snips is so fat, that when he got in a monster truck, it turned into a low-rider?"

Both boys glare at her "That's pretty hurtful" Diamond says

"Just show me them" Silver commands

Applebloom removes her hands and Silver looks up "... Holy crap"

Both guys stare down at her "Well, do we match your expectations?"

Silver shakes her head "What happened to you guys? Radiation?"

"Puberty, boredom, and way too much time on our hands" Snails says, looking around the room "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Long story that I will not share because ignoring it is the only way to ensure my continued sanity"

Both guys shrug "Need anything else? 'Exploration time' is on in 6 minutes"

Applebloom and Silver stare at them "What are you? 6?"

They roll their eyes and the screen goes black as the call ends

"I like 'Exploration time'" Sweetie says, still stroking Scootaloo's hair

Applebloom sighs "Of course you do, now what?"

Silver smiles "Pip"

Applebloom grins "Went back to his home in England"

"He's from Mane" Diamond says, brushing some lint off Applebloom's shirt

Silver hums in concentration "Rumble?"

"Otaku who has a constant boner for Sweetie and hates my guts" Diamond says, staring at Applebloom's hair "Hey, can I mess with your hair? I think you'd look good with a pony tail"

"Twist?"

"Datin' snails and works at the candy store" Applebloom says before looking down at Diamond "Yeah, why not? Just don't lose my bow"

"Dinky?"

"Working with her parents part time, sometimes stops by when I need a spare pair of eyes or a new perspective on a project. And she always brings me fresh food her mom has on hand. The woman has the baker's Midas touch"

"Featherweight?"

"... Dunno, haven't seen him since he left to become a journalist in Manehatten. Oh! And apparently he's allergic to spider bites, we were at a museum when I think it was a male black widow that he disturbed, or something. I suspect he may have turned into Spiderman but I haven't heard or read about a masked hero lately" Diamond says, brushing Applebloom's hair

Sweetie laughs "No, but if he did, that would be awesome! Like if we were power rangers or something!"

Applebloom and Diamond shiver You have no idea how right you are they both think to themselves

Silver snorts "Power rangers? I'm sorry, but that's for little kids! And Diamond. Who is like a little kid in her man-cave"

Diamond blushes and focuses her attention on Applebloom's shiny scarlet hair, like a cascading waterfall of crimson blood cut from the vein of a hemophiliac, shimmering with bands of light like a blade drawn in front of a rich, breathtaking sunset...

She lifts it up like one would a swathe of valuable cloth, watching it catch the light, the strands somehow warming her hands, as if they contained a fire, the silky strands invite her closer, whispering to her to experience it

She takes a long sniff, the smell of pine trees accented by the smell of apples revitalizing her mind. she rests her cheek on it, cooing at how it felt like a warm blanket woven from pure gossamer

"Uhh... Diamond? What are you doin'?" Applebloom asks, a blush blooming across her cheeks

Diamond twitches and slowly sits up, her face bright red "I-Uh... I have no excuse... I'm being weird again, aren't I? I wish I wasn't so... strange"

Applebloom chuckles and lifts Diamond's chin, kissing her lightly on the lips "You? Weird? Look at who's in the room an' tell me that again"

Diamond laughs and leans up, returning the kiss "I know, no one is a weird as Sweetie Belle, not by a long shot"

"Pinkie Pie" Silver says

"Pinkie" Applebloom replies

"Pinkamena Diane Responsibility Cottage lamppost Cubic Zirconium Humble Pie!" Sweetie chirps, all eyes staring at her "What? That's her full name"

Silver sighs "Okay, I know I said no talking about weird stuff, but Pinkie Pie doesn't count in this case, I've long since abandoned the idea of making sense of her. And the next one I want to know about is... Spike"

"He's dating my sister!" Sweetie chirps, causing Scootaloo to groan and sit up "Whazza... Where am I?"

"Welcome back to the world of the sober Scoots" Applebloom says before clapping her hands in her ear

"OW! HOLY MOTHER OF-OWWW!! AAUUGHH!!!! MY OWN VOICE IS KILLING- OWWWWWW!!!" she screams, rolling on the floor, hands clapped over her ears

"Scoots!" Sweetie yells, jumping to her side

"Nice one" Silver says, hi-fiving Applebloom

"Twern't nothin'" Applebloom says, turning around to Diamond who was staring at the floor "Ah thought ya wanted to braid my hair?"

Diamond nods "I do, but I made it weird"

Applebloom sighs "Is this a trick to get another kiss?"

"... Maybe"

Applebloom spins around and grabs Diamond, kissing her passionately

Diamond lets out a half-finished squeak before relaxing and moaning into the kiss, surrendering to Applebloom

"..." Silver pulls out a video camera "That's some chunky stuff right there"

Applebloom breaks contact, Diamond trying to keep up, not wanting the kiss to end

"Nope, ya have to earn 'em, remember?"

Diamond smiles dreamily, her eyes unfocused "Earn them, yeah, I can do that"

Applebloom points to her hair "Like I said, get to it"

Sitting back down, Diamond hums as she works, brushing it again

"Wow, you have Diamond in the palm of your hand" Silver says, amused

Sweetie walks back into the room with Scootaloo holding a gallon of water in one hand, her head in the other "No loud noises please, I'm more hungover than Berry Punch the day following Irish Oktoberfest... she says it's a thing, but it's also the only time that she drinks heavy... never let me have kids, hers are nice and all, but dang, if the stories about her in the past are even half true, we lost the world's greatest drunkard with a killer bod, fists, and an attitude to match. Now she's all of that except not a drunkard"

"... How did you get so much alcohol anyways? You're underage"

"But Babs isn't, and then Rainbow brought more. I think she found where your sister hid the Zap cider because I feel like I have a whole construction crew building a city in my head... and they are wearing spiked boots"

"Speakin' of my sister, I gotta call" Applebloom says, pulling out her phone

Applejack picks up the landline "Hello?"

"Hey Sis"

"Hey Bloom, you haven't been messin' around with the lock on the cider well have ya? It's on backwards"

Applebloom rolls her eyes and pulls out her codebook "No, but after a 20.3 including 4.7, ah think we need to move it again"

Applejack groans and pulls out her own copy "Okay, so does that mean that we rotate to WC82? Or is it CWC34? Ah get the whole thing mixed up"

"The latter, anyways, me an' th' gang are gonna stay at Sweetie's for the night. That cool?"

"Yeah, sounds fine, but you have chores tomorrow, remember?"

Applebloom nods "Ah know, see ya in th' morning"

Hanging up her phone, Applebloom shrugs "She's cool with it, and are there any other people ya want an update on?"

Silver hums in thought "One more, that witch in the forest, how's she?"

Applebloom shivers "We... ain't on speakin' terms no more..."

"Applebloom blew up her house last month, potions and junk was everywhere, reactions going off like fireworks. Applebloom was pretty funny afterwards, she grew not 1, not 2, but 3 horsecocks, her hair was blue and she kept on speaking backwards and after that, when the other things went away, she grew a foot in height, that's why her boots aren't as thick as they used to be... and is a lightweight"

Applebloom blushes "Scoots... come over here, ah got somethin' for ya"

Scootaloo crawls over to her "Yeah?"

Applebloom claps her hands over Scootaloo's ears, the girl screeching silently as she writhed on the floor

"Applebloom!" Sweetie whispers, pulling Scootaloo into her arms to cradle her

Silver shrugs "I do that to make sure that Babs doesn't spend all her money on booze. It works most of the time but then someone else gets her booze, so then I do the thing that she can't escape from, the one thing that she hates most. Dominating her at video games"

Babs stirs, rubbing her head "Heya guys, what'cha talkin' 'bout? How sexy ah am?"

Silver rolls her eyes and clocks Babs "Silence, sober people and Scootaloo are talking"

Babs rubs her cheek "Ya hit like a girl!"

"I am a girl!" Silver yells

"I AM IN PAIN!" Scootaloo yells, Sweetie glaring at them with her best pouting face

Applebloom sighs "Do ya want me an' Diamond to punch the both of ya?"

Babs grins "Nah, not on my checklist of things to do. So, ya never answered my question, how is she in bed?"

Diamond blushes again, muttering under her breath

Applebloom groans "Ya wanna know? She's a lot nicer than ah could've imagined anyone could be without being afraid of their own shadow like Fluttershy! An' ah'm pretty sure that ya don't even have someone to compliment yer sorry, foul mouthed self! In th' words of my granny 'Yah must be so dang lonely without the comfort of your own self-respect or another body'"

Babs blinks and then smiles "FINALLY! Finally ya stop ya pussy footin' 'round me! Took ya too damn long if ya ask me cuz!"

"What?" Applebloom asks, confused

Babs chuckles "Ya see cuz, I am what ya might call a 'bruiser' or a 'punk' or even a 'ne'er-do-well' if ya feel fancy-like. Point is, I don't really 'spect people 'til dey either insult me, call me out, or beat me in a one-on-one street rules fight. Silvy has done all three by the way"

Silver blushes

"Anyways, you were the only one who ain't done any of dese in the time I've known ya, so I just kept on pokin' an' pokin' an' poking 'til I got a reaction. Like uhhh... dat one teacher in uhhh... what was dat movie 'bout th' drummer?"

"'Whiplash'?" Silver asks

"Yeah! Dat's the one! Anyways, glad to see dat ya got a spine" Babs crosses her arms before reaching into her pocket "By the way, I 'Productively borrowed*' Rainbow's junk. Lookit!"

Scootaloo stirs and looks at the items "Her spare video cards, wallet, lock picking stuff, spare change, and her motorcycle keys" she looks up at Sweetie who smiles down at her "You're too good to me Sweetie. Seriously, why are you so nice to me?"

Sweetie cocks her head "Because I love you silly!"

Scootaloo rolls her eyes "Because I'm your friend? Yeah, I guess that poster in your room is right 'Friendship is power' and all that childish junk"

Sweetie shakes her head and leans down, kissing Scootaloo chastely "That's what I meant by love, silly Scoots"

Scootaloo blushes as everyone else gasps, even Babs

"Okay, I'm just gonna go on record 'ere and say dat I had no idea dat dis was a kissin' party" Babs says, earning an uppercut from Silver

Applebloom gulps and Diamond stops her braiding "Did you know that she-"

"Of course ah didn't know!" Applebloom hisses, her eyes glued to Scootaloo's face

Silver however moves her camera to the pair, grinning "This is the crazy I like, and this night just got a lot more interesting"

Author's Note

for some lols if you play, or like funny cartoons
* A friend who is a Manhattenite said this is his euphemism for "Stealing", I happen to like it too
As I publish this, the stats are 99 upvotes! so if you read this and haven't upvoted yet, please do!
Up next is a special chapter based around Truth or Dare! So please, suggest some questions or dares!
and on an unrelated note, I have something that I need some people to do me a favor. I have a blog post that outlines why I am a little peeved. So if the things outlined in it happen as I have predicted, I will need a list of people who can say that I called it. I hope to get royalties or a job (A job would be awesome) and for that, I need people.
My blog rant (Contains S5 Spoilers)
and if you don't want to, that's cool. Of course, the post itself will probably get me banned so... if this is my last chapter, I have something to say.
You are all my friends, whether or not you support this endeavor, I will still consider you my dear friends.
You are the ones who guide me to greatness and, I cannot repay that kindness.
And I wish to make a shout out to those who bother to care about a hack writer like me:
a special shout out to HavokAfterDark, who made my heart melt and made me feel like I was actually accomplishing something.
Kazz the Hunter: your constant comments and kindness has given me the will to move on with what I would've left as a one-shot
super57s: You made me see that what I do is making me a better person, and that having friends who are cartoon ponies is okay. A thing I cannot ever hope to repay
Nocturnal Derp (Formerly Derpy Soldier): you are a great friend and it is an honor to know that some distant man or woman is protecting a country that I at one point thought was run by fools
Gas Jockey Pegasus: you helped inspire this story with our back and forth conversations. This story is here because of your imagination
Sirob1867: you helped me on my way to making so many friends when you posted that blog that lead for me to write sharing vision, you are awesome
Rainbow Shine: ... my best pervert friend on this site
Texus: I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, I hope your stories become more successful than mine
MusicalMelody: hey, contact me sometime, I'm worried about you
Fluttershy2424: you are a great friend to me, with a lot of patience
Creed Alborn: Rp'ing with you is the highlight of my week
And to the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you all make me stronger just by following

And! As is my usual personality tic, I must now be not serious
RANDOM PONY PICTURE!

Explanation chapter

It has come to my attention that I cannot reign in this story, and that both excites and scares me.

As the writer, I should be able to control it but alas, I cannot.

First off, allow me to say that Hot Charge? You are correct

When I originally started to read this I thought it was just going to be a Applebloom x Diamond Tiara fic, now I don't even know any more. I'm not even sure if MidnightFMare knows.

I do not have much of an idea of what is going on. And as this has been writing, the sub-plot have left me speechless and I wish that I could rework the story but to do so, I would have to start over from scratch and should it come to that, I hope that you all will forgive me for doing so.

I suppose I should elucidate on the character's personalities

Diamond: Unlike canon, she is quite an introvert and when she was younger, she was a very shy person and the only person rthat she could open up to was Silver but even then, she was closing off her heart. When she met Applebloom and then Sweetie and Scootaloo, she was overwhelmed by confusion at how they were going against what she considered to be the rules of society, and set out to "fix" the problem. Eventually, she focused on the leader of the group, Applebloom and after a while, she decided to better understand her mortal enemy the easiest way she knew how.

Things that espouse friendship and teamwork were the keys to finding that fault in Applebloom's armor. But what she did not realize that after the 5th series of Power Rangers was that she had become the thing that she had studied (Like how I became a fan in fact... why must all my characters be me?)

So this "research" became a lifestyle that on the outside, she was ashamed of and hid.

As with most people who hide their deepest selves behind books and screens, she became inundated in the messages and ideas of what she read, thus becoming a villain on the outside, when on the inside, she wanted to be a hero. the perversion of her mind and responses is an unfortunate result though

Applebloom: She is probably the main character in the story, in that it focuses around how she reacts and views the world and more importantly, her friends

She is the grounded, sensible one of the CMC and that shows in that she stops Scootaloo from getting in trouble, but also gets Sweetie to speak her mind and act. How she reacts to Diamond is similar to a mix of both of her management styles of her friends, she gets Diamond to do things that she is afraid of doing like apologizing to Ganthet and co. an d also stops her from doing something dangerous and stupid like over reacting when her perversion leaks through in public.

Applebloom is kind of the glue that hold all the characters together and also gets them to show more of their true personalities. But she herself is an amalgam of all girl-next-door southern girls who see everything that goes on and guides the non bit-players on the right track. She also underestimates the magnitude her "guiding" has on the world around her, and while probably brilliant in her own way, she is a very humble person and also won't go against the will of others unless it's in her best interests

Sweetie Belle: She is the light to Scootaloo's dark, the mascot of the CMC and also probably the smartest of the three but she is more content to join in someone else's fun than create her own. She is also seemingly two-dimensional but if you ask the right questions, you'll see that she is a progidy and an amazing person that is capable of either saving the world by accident or destroying it in the same manner. And while she is a bit insulated from nuances and the like, she could MacGyver a jetpack from a palm tree and some other raw materials but won't because she lacks the direction or needs to be told to do something because she is afraid that her actions would displease others so she'll just hum to herself until someone says something to her.

She is also, like Applebloom, an amalgam of the most extreme of archetypes; those being "White girl", "Insulated form the world", "Air-head", "Genius Savant", "Shy little girl with a crush" and "Unconsciously giving the world diabeetus just by existing and oh my goddess I need my insulin! Arrgblblrble..."

She is also in love with Scootaloo but due to her disposition, doesn't realize that she actually needs to say it

Scootaloo: Pervert. Athlete. Comic relief. Incapable of dying by actual bodily harm. Jack-of-all-questionable-trades-and-some-others-too. And she is kind of like Poppa Rocks (If you don't know who this is, that's cool)

It's mostly because even as an adult, Scootaloo looks like a guy, Flat chest, lean limbs, and a mouth that spews little intelligent things and more crude things, she's the one guy who always has the girly mags in his locker, knows how to sneak into all the clubs, knows all the gang heads on a first name basis, someone who can to get you the porn you want with no question asked, and the one who has hidden cameras in the sauna, girl's room, female changing room, and will punch you for saying that she's a punk.

Silver Spoon: The straight man to the craziness that her friends create and yet can't break off her friendships with them because being a serious person a lot, she is incapable of making friends easily and would probably go on with her life without friends

She is also an avid reader of older philosophies and book, thus why she spoke about "Chakra" and seems to quote any book or authority on a subject if someone needs assistance in sounding dumber by correcting them. She is kind of like Applebloom in that she keeps her friends out of trouble and has money set aside for paying bail and also knows how to patch up others from fire, gun shots, and broken bones because with Babs as a friend, you might need that kind of skill set to keep her alive long enough to pay rent. Also knows about as much about the street and firearms that Babs does.

Good at video games

Is also a cynic and tends to give up on others when the crazy is too much.

Does not believe something is possible until she either sees proof or experiences it first hand.

So, she is the Kyon of the group

Babs: Like Scootaloo, she is all that she is except with a thick Boston accent and has a wallet full of fake IDs and more money than she should. And carries several tools on her person

And by "Tools", I mean at least 2-3 handguns, enough ammo to kill all the livestock in Ponyville and still have enough to spare to intimidate anyone who gets in her way, butterfly, throwing, skinning, fishing, hunting, and chasing knives (At least 3-5 of each)

A pick-pocket but Silver often catches her and she rarely does so.

Has no respect for others until they prove themselves to her to be worth it

basic synopsis of story so far. separated by chapters:

Diamond gets her ass handed to her by Applebloom and has a wet dream about Applebloom where she discovers that she is much kinkier than she thought

Diamond informs Applebloom of her dream and after a series of texts between Silver on both ends. Diamond discovers that she has been in love with Applebloom the whole time. Applebloom is skeptical. Scootaloo and Sweetie appear and their personalities are outlined a little

Diamond and Applebloom meet for a date and we begin to see her nerdy side leak out as well as Applebloom's incredible strength. after that, they kiss and unfortunately, everyone sees them

Both girls explain what happened and then go to visit Rarity to prettify Scoots and Dash. Them Pinkie Pie happens. And then Spike reveals that a number of concerned people they knew were orchestrating either their love, or their funerals.

Sex.

Sweetie Belle's and Scootaloo's personalities are filled in a little more and we see how their relationship works

Star Sapphire, DT's Alter ego is introduced along with OA comics and the people within

Applebloom helps DT apologize to the people of OA comics and it is revealed that there is more to the shop than what meets the eye

Introducing Spin-off series and sex

No real plot, just me having fun I guess

Sweetie's genius is revealed and both Babs and Silver are introduced as supporting characters

Humor and an in depth explanation of what happened to DT, Sweetie, and Silver.

Explanation of story so far including an apology from me, character summery, and plot summary

"Holy crap, I've caught up to myself in real time" I said to myself, typing furiously on my computer.

Looking up at the screen and what I've written, I see that I am still writing in real time

Lyra walks over, a cabbage held in her magic "Hey, what's goin' on Midnight?"

"I've somehow ended up writing in real time" I say, looking at her dinner of choice "Do you want me to make you a salad or something?"

She shakes her head, taking a bite of the cabbage "Nah, I'm good" she takes a bite out of it "I like plain cabbage and junk. We're out of light beer too"

"And I'm not going to buy you any, that stuff takes up too much spacew and whenever I buy alcohol, you chug it all down unless it's Guinness or absinthe" I say, my arm starting to hurt from typing

"... okay, I'm going to take the keyboard away" she says, golden magic grabbing the key board from me

Hi there readers! Midnight was supposed to post an actual chapter today or work on it but I guess this works too.

And we still need more truth or dare ideas so please give us some! At this posting we only have one of each and to the one who wished for this to be done, Thanks for your tireless critiquing. Midnight would thank you but he's busy making dinner.

Sooo... bye bye!

Author's Note

Nopony here but us Scootaloos

An Applebloom a day keeps the Doctor away

I have a bit of a Sweetie tooth

Diamond Tiaras are a girl's best friend

She's a Babs Seed!

Lyra is best ~~pony~~human!!!

The morning after

The night went on rather calmly compared to the past few days

Babs and Sweetie watched the show in silence, chatting during commercials only to stop mid-sentence and pick it back up the moment the commercials returned

Scootaloo pulled out her laptop and busied herself with video editing, grumbling about missing frames every few minutes

Silver walked into the bathroom with the ring and didn't return for an hour, her clothes wrinkled and her usually immaculate ponytail undone, dragging her bag to a spare room to sleep

Applebloom slept on Diamond's lap, the aforementioned girl completely content where she was, still petting Applebloom's shiny mane of crimson. Indeed, this was a moment to be immortalized forever

So Sweetie did just that, pulling out an old billowing camera to capture the moment

After the TV was cut off, all but Applebloom and Diamond left for bed, both girls asleep and dead to the world

Little did they know what was coming

Slowly Applebloom stirs, softness wrapping around her whole being "Mwah?"

Blinking away sleep, she takes stock of where she is Okay... Sweetie's place, Diamond hugging me tight, we're both dressed, and ah feel warm... so far so good

Diamond stirs and rests her chin on Applebloom's head, muttering in her sleep as she is prone to doing

Applebloom blushes a little, having figured out exactly what she was resting her head on but then mentally shrugs, assuming that Diamond had placed her this way on purpose

Nuzzling the squishy softness of her girlfriend's chest like a cat would a hand If Applejack saw me like this, she'd call me a sissy or somethin'

Out of the corner of her eye, Sweetie skips past with a happy smile on her face, remote in hand

"Mornin' Sweets" Applebloom whispers, the cheery girl settling down at the end of the couch "Morning Applebloom!" she whispers back

Diamond grumbles and blinks "Wha- Oh, right, sleep over... good morning Applebloom"

"Mornin' Diamond" Applebloom says, wiggling free of the now awake girl's grip

Diamond whimpers at the loss of warmth before Applebloom kisses her, heating her body like a fire immediately

Sweetie turns on the TV and sighs "Saturday morning anime, nothing finer for me"

Diamond jumps, landing next to Sweetie "Wait, you're watching "'Cartoon Stream'? The only good thing on there are the CD original shows. We should watch the WC and we can catch an episode or two of classic 'Turbo the armadillo'. Sheesh Sweetie Belle, have some sense of priorities"

Sweetie grabs the remote, changing the channel back "I don't like the classic shows! We're going to miss 'Space Battles: Rebellion'!"

Diamond looks at her as if she had just suggested that Ketchup was a refreshing soft drink*

"You actually watch the new Waltney shows? I myself prefer the classic ones of just a few years ago, 'That's so crow', 'San Diego Drake', 'Carmen in da house', a surprisingly good spin-off by the way, and 'Lunch break'. I'll concede that 'Diamond Shark', Lab Mice', 'Physics Decent' are superb shows among the rotten attempts of modern culture. In fact, I would say that it might be the fourth best of the big 5 channels"

Applebloom smiles, wanting to see Diamond flustered and the funny nerdy side of her "Th' big 5? Ain' that food?"

Diamond groans "No, It's the big 5 channels of a growing mind's staple diet. in ascending order, Pickelodeon, Waltney, Cartoon Stream, Teen Pickle, and finally, BASE"

Sweetie's hair seems to raise up in anger, much like a cat's "Waltney is the best! BASE just puts on bad spin-offs of old shows and junk! Like the modern incarnation of MPP!"

Diamond gasps, her hair standing up in a similar way to Sweetie's "You. Did not. Just say. That."

Sweetie grins, showing her teeth "I did. And I meant it"

Diamond snorts out steam "You will regret that dearly"

Sweetie grins, flaring her nostrils "It. Is. ON!"

before Applebloom can get a word out of her mouth, both girls pounce, Diamond throwing a right hook at Sweetie's side which the smaller girl deflects and knees Diamond in the ribs, right where Applebloom had punched her before

Diamond falls to the floor, gasping for breath "That... wa-was low..."

Sweetie smiles triumphantly "I lack stamina like you, but I'm much faster and know all your weak spots. give up now and we can enjoy some quality programming"

Diamond stands back up, one hand holding her side "Not until you take that back"

Sweetie sighs and shrugs "Your funeral then"

Diamond measures up Sweetie Okay, she has no stamina, so I will win if this drags out but It's going to be hard what with her last attack... she obviously fights inside her head, rather than in her body... that makes her a challenge because I favor swift strikes backed up by spamming my opponent with close combat techniques.

Okay, what styles do I know that will work? Maui Thai? No, that's constant close combat. Karate? My balance is out because of that kick. Tae Kwon Do? She obviously is a reactive fighter so waiting to retaliate against her is out until I counter her retaliation somehow. I know she deflected my punch using her elbow like in a street fight so she must have some wins or experience under her belt. If I go out there blindly and without a plan, she'll floor me before I can prossess it. Time to channel my inner ranger I guess

Diamond relaxes her stance and focuses her mind on her core, expanding it outwards and into her limb, throwing a fast punch at Sweetie's solar plexus

Sweetie ducks into Diamond's blind spot and lands a precise wrist strike on Diamond's side as she sprints past before hooking her striking hand around Diamond's waist band, her momentum spinning her around Diamond's back to land a mix of a tornado and bicycle kick to Diamond's throat, knocking her onto her back, grasping her throat and gasping for air

Sweetie picks herself up, breathing hard "You... lose... Diamond..."

Applebloom rushes over to Diamond, the girl's face red and contorted in pain "What the hay Sweetie belle?!"

Sweetie glares at Diamond before returning to the couch to watch her show "You need to plan out your fights before hand, it makes it hard for your opponent to get you while you're thinking. You'd lost the fight before it even began. Learn from this and you may best me at some point, but not today. Now, I'm going to go make waffles, eggs, and bacon. But just so you know, I didn't want to hurt you but you started it and thus I ended it"

After carrying Diamond back to the couch Applebloom rubs her back and side tenderly "You alright?"

"I just had my butt handed to me by Sweetie Belle. But otherwise I'm peachy"

"Ah thought you were Diamond"

Diamond stares at Applebloom "... Really? You're going to make a bad pun?"

Applebloom smiles weakly "Sorry, couldn't resist"

Diamond sighs "I don't even know why I got so pissed off. I've heard that hundreds of times online before, why did I get so defensive?"

"Maybe it's 'cause it was a friend who said it, and ya thought that she was attackin' your opinions or somethin'"

Diamond stares at Applebloom dumbfounded "What? Mac watches that show with all th' old ladies who talk about stuff, ya pick up some ideas from there... and that one bald doctor's show too"

Leaning up, Diamond gives her a kiss "You always now what to say, especially with that cute accent of yours"

Applebloom blushes "Stop it or ah'll slap you silly"

Sweetie Belle walks over, pouting

"What's the matter Captain Falcon?" Diamond asks

"Silver kicked me out of the kitchen..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Well, what happened?"

"The stupid eggs decided to explode! I was trying to crack them so I could make some omelets but when I tried, she grabbed the egg and it exploded!"

Silver walks in, most of the hair on her left arm missing, as well as the sleeve of her shirt "I made breakfast. Where's the Novocain?"

Sweetie points to a box hanging from the wall before walking into the kitchen "Don't start eating until the morons come down"

"We ain' morons, we jus' don' see th' point in bein' a smartypants like you" Babs says, yawning

Applebloom covers Diamond and Sweetie Belle's eyes "Why ain't ya wearin' clothes?"

Scootaloo scratches her hair, a stained pair of boxers the only article of clothing on her "We were up all night playing strip blackjack... I won"

Silver rolls her eyes "Breakfast is on and in good taste unlike your clothes"

Diamond holds back her laugh as both naked girls sit down, tearing into the food like savages

"Have some manners! Were y'all raised in a barn?!" Applebloom asks

Scootaloo looks up "Weren't you?"

Diamond giggles, earning a pinch from Applebloom "Yes, but ah also have decent manners. So stop stuffin' your faces and eat like civilized people! Ya two may be two of the three biggest perverts ah've met, but at least have some-"

Babs pulls out a revolver "Shut it. Not had my coffee fix yet. No talky"

Silver sighs "Put your lighter away Babs"

She pulls the trigger, a small flame appears at the end of it "... Bring me my coffee Silv, and I won' pull out my 'mergency gun"

Rolling her eyes, Silver stands and retrieves a pot, unceremoniously pouring it over Babs' head

" Verdammte Scheiße!! Was zum Teufel?! Das ist zu heiß!!" She yells, rubbing her eyes

Diamond blinks "You speak German?"

Babs blinks, rubbing her skin "Yeh, my old man is from dere an' I learned it from him when I was in diapers, don't use it too much 'cause of my accent an' junk. S'posed ta use 'talian an' junk. No one 'spects th' krauts no more"

"Robotics, medicine, physics, and other complicated sciences are often revolutionized by the Germans, even after the war they furthered science by leaps and bounds" Sweetie says, cocking her head

Diamond nods "Yeah, and I speak German too, along with other languages from across the pond"

Babs rolls her eyes "Know dat already, don't mean I'll be speakin' it in public. 'Sides, I got things dat talk for me, my guns"

Silver shakes her head "Yes, Babs has a whole cache of guns back home. One time I found a dud grenade in the garbage disposal"

Sweetie backs away, fear on her face "Why?"

"Ta see if it'd go live if we put it in dere... forgot that I live dere too" Babs explains, setting her plate in the sink "So! What's on the agenda fer today? Terrorize th' populace like a 'zilla? Oh! can we make a zilla?! Sweetie! Tell me that we can make a 'zilla!"

Sweetie shakes her head "Sorry, Radiation-based mutations aren't my forte. Besides, where would we put it?"

"Duh, We'd put him in dragon gorge! Then we can summon him to protect us and then he'd breath fire on our enemies! Oh! Could we make that giant turtle... what's his name? CAMERA!" Scootaloo says, rubbing her hands together

"You mean 'Gamera', right? and no, we aren't making any yokai or anything like that" Diamond says, crossing her arms

"Oh come on! Haven't you ever wanted to ride on top of a monster, watching as everyone runs around screaming 'It's Godzilla!!'? I mean, we go to Tokyo and-"

Diamond rubs her head "We aren't going to Tokyo via Godzilla or Gamera in order to see people scream. That's cruel and just plain stereotypical"

Babs groans "Yer no fun"

Scootaloo smiles "Then can we have superpowers? I want-"

Applebloom holds up a hand "If you say x-ray vision, ah'm gonna punch you"

Scootaloo shakes her head "I was gonna say flight, but X-ray vision would be cool"

Babs laughs "Yeah right! If I had powers, I'd make sure it was right off th' A-list. Immortality, invulnerability, an' super strength!"

Diamond shrugs "I wouldn't mind having the ability to wield energy or something. Or be a lantern, that'd be cool"

Silver rolls her eyes "Guys, those types of powers don't exist. And Babs, Immortality isn't a power, it's a curse. To watch as everyone you love ages and dies while you're stuck being the same. And most of all, you'd go mad from loneliness"

Applebloom stares at Silver "Ya practice that speech?"

"No, I've read tonnes of books on philosophy and that's the culmination of the knowledge I gained and my own philosophy on the subject. If I were immortal, I'd spend all my time after my friends and families died trying to find a way to die. Or at least that's what I think I'd do"

Sweetie coughs "I can't give you guys superpowers, I don't have the right equipment and it might not work at all even if I did have them. And I don't want to burden you guys like that, I'm a good scientist and won't use science like that"

"Could you make a super soldier serum?" Diamond asks

"NO! I'm not making you into Captain America or Red Skull! I watch those movies"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Can we stop talkin' about this? It's givin' me a headache"

"What type of power would you want?" Sweetie asks Applebloom and Silver

Silver puts her hand to her chin "I guess Ferrokinesis would be good"

Diamond stares at her "Metal bending? You want to control metal?"

Silver shrugs "I actually meant the ability to control iron and all of its other forms and alloys. And I could asphyxiate foes by ripping their iron rich blood from their bodies. Or tear out their marrow, leaving them with a gaping wound and no way to make more blood and also help do surgery by pulling blood out of someone while everyone else works and then I can just put it back. I have put some thought into this"

Babs shivers "That sounds like a thing a super villain would do"

Applebloom shakes her head "Don't need any powers, Ah'm already strong, what else would ah need?"

Scootaloo grins "Yeah, you're the hulk in overalls"

Applebloom delivers a punch to Scootaloo's face before gathering the dishes "Sweetie, d'ya want me to wash the dishes?"

Sweetie shakes her head "No, I'm the only one here who knows Rarity's system so why don't you guys wash up?"

Scootaloo stands and stretches "Nah, not the third Wednesday of the month. I'm gonna go capture a turtle and a lizard for reasons completely unrelated to our conversation. Bye!"

Sweetie chases after her "Your clothes!"

Scootaloo pauses "Right, need those"

Silver rolls her eyes "How about Diamond and I take the first two showers? You and your sister have separate ones right?"

Applebloom shrugs "Sounds like a chance to talk to my cousin sober, and not tied to a tree"

Babs grins "Hey, I wanted to tie your wrists an' ankles together an' put on some scary masks wit' voice changers an' shit"

Diamond sighs, gathering up her own change of clothes "Sure you want to be left alone with her?"

Applebloom nods "Yeah, ah'll be fine. You go bathe, but hurry, if she keeps talkin' like this she may not be able to bathe without help"

Diamond smiles, kisses Applebloom's cheek, and heads towards the shower

Babs whistles "Ya want fries wit' dat shake?!"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Stop that, how's your job workin' for the police?"

"Not too good, got shuffled ta domestic after a slow month at narcotics. Hopin' ta get moved back ta narcin' or homicide. Th' most action I get on th' job is tasering a few thugs wit'out guns. So I took up a job workin' for a relative of that baker girl... Pinkie!"

Applebloom blinks "Ya'll work for Inkamena Pie? She's a PI right outta black an' white films"

Babs shrugs "She's a strict boss, but she lets me carry as much heat as I want so long as I don' use them 'cept in self defense. An' she loves her sister an' their wife too much ta stay away from home so I usually do most of the work during the night and weekends"

"Wait, their 'wife'? As in, three people?" Diamond asks

Sweetie walks over, drying her hands "Yeah, they married Trixie Lulamoon a few years ago. Turns out if you're twins and want to marry the same person, you can in some cities like Manehatten"

Applebloom scratches her head "Their parents must've been against it. I mean, they're rock farmers an' that has to be stuck in th' stone age, no pun intended"

Sweetie shakes her head "They actually thought it was a great idea. Turns out that rock farming is a very progressive field"

Babs nods "Yeah, it was in all th' papers! 'Super model marries magician marries PI marries super model sister' was my favorite. I mean, I guess in th' womb they were th' same person an' all so..."

Silver Spoon walks past, dressed and drying her hair "You're up gossip girl"

Babs claps her hands and stands up "Coo' see ya in a few"

Diamond taps Applebloom's shoulder "How do I look?"

Applebloom blinks "You look ridiculous. Why're ya usin' my bow anyways?"

Diamond shrugs "Thought I might try it on for size, It doesn't look good?"

Sweetie shakes her head "No, you look like your head has a bowtie on. And not the cool kind"

Diamond pulls it out, starting to braid her hair "What about dreads? I think I could rock dreads"

Applebloom shivers "No. No ya can't"

Sweetie claps her hands "We could give you layered curls!"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Ah know what those are, and... well..." Her imagination starts up, imagining Diamond with curls

"Well? How do I look?" Diamond asks, pushing up the curls up to accent her face

"Ah... uh... ya look..." Applebloom stutters, her face growing warmer

Diamond gives her a sultry grin, sashaying closer, fluttering her eyes "How do I look?"

"..." Applebloom bites her lips, trying to resist "St-stop..."

Diamond cups Applebloom's chin with one hand and presses a hand to her breast, kissing Applebloom's lips teasingly "Stop what?"

Applebloom's will crumbles and she reaches out, grabbing Diamond's shirt and tear- "Applebloom? Are you okay? You spaced out for a sec"

Applebloom blinks "Huh? Nah, that sounds like the type of thing ya'll should use for special occasions"

Sweetie nods "Good point. How about... a bun? Rarity has a whole drawer full of kanzashi!We mostly use them during onsen, tanabata, and when we're going out cosplaying as a Geisha and a Miko. Last time we even gave Spike a topknot and seeing as how he already had a Mohawk... I'm rambling aren't I?"

Applebloom nods and Diamond stares at her "How does that work? You don't even look Japanese"

Sweetie giggles "My mom's grandmother was a Japanese immigrant. That and my dad's French-Italian ancestry covers most of it"

"Isn't your great grandfather a Japanese immigrant Silver?" Diamond asks but the girl is nowhere to be found "Where'd she go?"

Sweetie and Applebloom shrug

"I'll look upstairs, maybe she went to grab something" Diamond says

"You go with her Applebloom, I know the first floor and basement well, she might've gotten bored and went to check out some of the rigging"

"Rigging?"

"The stage's compartments, gears, the hidden stages, junk like that" Sweetie clarifies, shooing them away

After checking Rarity and Sweetie's rooms, a soft sound echoes through the hallway

A moan

Diamond walks towards it, her eyes nearly popping out of her sockets

Up against the wall is Babs, wet and naked, pinned by Silver "Give up Babs, this'll end when you do"

Babs grits her teeth "N-never..."

Silver sighs before licking her lips, grinding her elbow into the small of Babs' back before moving her hand downward, eliciting a moan from the captive girl

is she-

Applebloom taps Diamond's shoulder, making her jump "What's goin' on?"

"Babs is... I mean- Silver is pinning... look" Diamond stutters, Applebloom shrugging and looking for herself before darting against the wall "Holy rains!" she whispers, blushing

Diamond nods before slowly looking around the corner again, trying to commit each detail to memory

Applebloom follows her example, staring intently

"Let... me go Silver..." Babs grunts, her legs shaking

Silver rolls her eyes "Or what? I have all the control here. All you have to do is say it"

Babs tries to kick but Silver just grabs her leg, pinning it between her chest and Bab's back and once again her hand massages Bab's weak spot "Bad seed, trying to kick me. I think I'll just keep you at your peak for as long as it takes for you to admit I'm better than you"

The girl moans louder, her arms straining to escape the one-handed hold silver had them in "Ya ai-ain' playin' fair..."

Silver grins "Would you expect me to? You know that I know how to make you either happy or..." she licks the back of Bab's ear, earning her a coo of pleasure "unhappy" she presses between Babs' shoulder blades, a pained groan escaping from her clenched teeth

Babs whimpers "Yer... yer better than me..." she sais weakly

Silver smiles and nips Babs' ear tenderly "See? was that so hard? how about I make you happy? Hm?"

Unlike before, Silver's hands wrap around Babs' waist and with a few quick motions, Babs whimpers and falls to the floor, panting tiredly

Silver smiles and wipes her hands off on Babs' face "Do you need me to carry you?"

Babs half growls, half moans "I got dis... dirty cheater"

Silver shrugs and yawns "well, if you need my assistance, you know where I'll be"

Applebloom snaps her fingers in front of Diamond "Ya did it again"

Diamond shakes her head "Wha- Oh god, did I space out again?"

Applebloom nods "An' judgin' by how ya look, it was perverted right?"

Diamond nods slowly, ashamed "I'm sorry..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Look, ah ain't mad at you, just try to keep that pretty little head of yours in this world okay?"

Diamond nods again

Sighing, Applebloom kisses her forehead "now let's see what's goin' on with Silver"

"Why am I dealing with this?"

"'Cause ya screwed up wit' th' stitchin', dat's why" Babs replies, wincing

Silver glares at her "I didn't screw it up, you just put too much stress on it and then the string breaks! I'm using plastic cord this time, not as comfortable but should hold until I get some surgical thread"

Babs sighs "What ever ya gotta do ta keep me in one piece Silv"

"Like take all your guns away?"

"I said keep me in one piece, not take away my livelihood!" Babs yells, wincing "Ya stabbed me!"

"I'm sewing up your thick skin, I'm supposed to sew your skin up like a tear in a blanket. Stop moving so much, I'm not using a suture needle this time so it's a little harder than usual"

Babs sighs "Whatever ya say Nurse. But seriously, what would I do wit' out you?"

Silver pauses "Probably fall to pieces or bleed out"

Diamond knocks on the door "Are you decent?"

"Nothin' ya ain' seen before!" Babs yells

Applebloom walks in "What happened to you? Lose a knife fight?"

Silver shakes her head "No, a slug from some thug she was hired to tail shot at her with his rifle"

Diamond nods "Looks like it. Didn't have much of an aim, did he?"

Babs chuckles "Kinda hard ta aim when yer bein' chased and carryin' a two handled rifle. Surprised he even hit me at all"

Applebloom stares at all three girls "How can y'all be so calm about this?"

"I go bow hunting with my dad in the winter and I watch a lot of gory TV" Diamond replies

"Occupational hazard" Babs says with a half shrug

"I live with Babs so I'm used to it. In fact, I've done surgery on her whole arm once. I opened up her arm to relieve the pressure of the bullet when I found two small caliber rounds, in her muscles and a pellet stuck in her bone. I have them in cases above my bed along with the other things that I've gotten from her adventures" Silver says, picking up Sweetie's hairdryer "I need to melt the plastic a little so that it doesn't unwind"

Babs nods "An' after dat, she made me go to a hospital an' have an x-rays. They found a few more-"

"It wasn't a 'few' more, it was four bullets in your chest, one in your thigh, a whole slug in your other arm, two razor thin shards of metal in your abdomen, two pellets that just missed your heart, and a sewing needle in your thigh! How on earth did you get a sewing needle stuck in your thigh?"

Babs rolls her eyes "I lost a bet when I was drunk. Shut up"

Silver sighs and shuts the hairdryer off "Fine... I just worry about you, that every time you go to work, it'll be the last time I'll ever see you whole instead of reading about you washing up on a beach somewhere pumped full of lead..."

Babs blushes, turning her gaze to Silver "I... I didn't know ya cared Silver..."

Diamond clutches her mouth, trying to hide her smile and tears Is... is she saying what I think she's saying?

Applebloom however stares at them with amusement Yeesh, we Apples know how to catch us some rich folk ah guess

"I mean... who'll pay the other half of the rent? I can't pay it on a professor's salary!"

Everyone gives her a flat look "Gee, good ta know dat I have a special place in ya heart Silv"

Bags slung over their shoulders, all five girls look towards town "I wonder what type of fun adventures await us today!" Sweetie cheers

"Ah jus' hope that we don't have to deal with anything too out there" Applebloom sighs

Diamond rolls her eyes, kissing Applebloom's cheek "Don't worry, nothing could possibly go wrong!"

"In my experiance, Murphy's law always pays a visit to those who say that" Silver monotones

Babs grins, inserting a magazine into her pistol "Don' worry Silv, if anythin' comes at us, me an' Applebloom can handle it"

Sweetie smiles and skips ahead when a loud explosion rips through the air, knocking her down as a large plume of fire and dust erupts from town

Silver blinks "Told you so"

Author's Note

*Everyone knows it's tomato juice, duh

The rescue

Running towards the town, the sound of fire and wood snapping filling the air

Diamond gives Applebloom a weak smile "This should be... interesting, right?"

"Ah hope not, an' knowin' our luck, Scoots is involved" Applebloom mutters grimly, her eyes fixed on the blaze

Applebloom and co. come to a halt, Scootaloo riding a large turtle, reigns in its mouth "HI GUYS!!"

Silver groans "She made a kaiju, after we told her not to? Why am I surprised?"

Sweetie shivers, a grin spreading across her face "I... I... IT'S GAMERA!!! HOLY BEANS, IT'S GAMERA!! I CAN'T BELEIVE IT!!"

Diamond stares up at Scootaloo, the thin athlete trying to control the humongous turtle "How did you get the reigns on it?"

Scootaloo grins "Simple! I put a bit full of cucumbers in the middle and hung it from two buildings! Now I just need to- WHOA!" the turtle shakes its head slowly "Break in the guy! I wonder what Rainbow Dash will think!!"

Applebloom crosses her arms "Why does that matter?!"

Babs gulps "I know I ain' been here in a while, but ain' dat Rainbow's pet tortoise? Bank or somethin'?"

Suddenly, Sweetie's enthusiasm disappears "Oh beans... it is Tank..."

Scootaloo rolls her eyes "Well, duh! Where else am I supposed to get a tortoise?! The pet shop banned me and after the time I tried to extract bird semen to grow wings, Fluttershy doesn't let me near any of her animals! So, I went to the one place I could find a tortoise, Rainbow Dash's house. I got Pinkie to help me turn Tank the tortoise into TANK, THE WALKING AMPHIBI-TERROR!!"

Everyone stares in awe at Scootaloo's mount, the usually calm Tank now obviously annoyed and pissed at being turned into a mount the size of town hall

Applebloom shakes her head and walks towards the acres "Nope! Nopenopenopenopenopenope! NOPE!! Not gonna deal with this, goin' home to bed, wake me up when this is over and we're back in sane Ponyville"

Silver nods, rubbing her head "Count me in too 'Bloom. You coming Babs?"

Babs grins wickedly "An' leave dis once in a lifetime opportunity?! Ya gotta be crazy ta leave such a... treasure of possibilities! I always said, grab opportunity when it knocks, woo it, an' then get its package!" she runs around Tank and walks up his tail, sitting next to Scootaloo "Can we build another 'copter thing wit' chairs an' junk? Oh! Make it like... durable, light steel! We can attach all sorts off weapons on 'im! Think of all th' possibilities!"

Scootaloo stares at Babs, eyes wide "I think I love you..."

Sweetie pouts and pets the side of Tank's jaw, the large reptile lowering his head as if to listen to her

Whispering to him, he nods and Sweetie clambers atop his head before sitting between Scootaloo and Babs "This could be fun! Come on guys, this could be our chance for some adventure!"

Diamond looks from Tank to Silver and Applebloom "I... I think I'll stick with Applebloom and Silv, but have fun? I guess?"

Scootaloo nods, grinning again "Forward Tank! We are to get to the forge by sunset in order to give you the armor and armaments you require!!"

Tanks seems to sigh and takes a large step forward, still moving at his usual pace

Babs shrugs "Ain' fast yet, but when we're done, we'll be unstoppable!!"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "I think that our sisters will stop us eventually"

Scootaloo blows a raspberry "Come on! They'll never notice anything's wrong! I guarantee it!"

Yeah, they'll never notice a giant tortoise with three riders and the fact that there was an explosion that could be seen for miles and half the stalls at market a smoldering mess... no one will notice that at all... Diamond thinks to herself, watching the giant lumber away

Silver sighs "Please don't tell me that the three of us are the only sane and reasonable ones in our group..."

"Okay, ah won't"

"That's not what I meant Applebloom"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah guess humor ain't my thing. Wanna put out these fires 'fore we get in trouble?"

Both girls nod, stomping on the tongues of fire

After successfully extinguished the flames with few casualties (A pair of Italian flats and a pair of name-brand slippers) the three girls decide to head towards Sweet Apple Acres, the one place where hopefully the trio of destruction could not get them

Applejack checks her phone, her eyes widening at the text from Twilight

Applejack, how is your morning so far? Mine was quite fair until I beheld A GIANT FREAKING TURTLE LUMBERING TOWARDS MY HOUSE

I also beheld the figures of not only Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, but also your cousin Babs Seed RIDING THE GIANT FREAKING TURTLE LUMBERING TOWARDS MY HOUSE

I am a reasonable person by nature, and I expect a somewhat predictable routine, especially in the morning, but I must say that so far, my morning is anything but BECAUSE TWO OF THE THREE BIGGEST DANGERS TO TOWN AND YOUR COUSIN ARE RIDING A GIANT FREAKING TURTLE LUMBERING TOWARDS MY HOUSE

I must, as is my nature to be thorough in my messages and statements that, I can, with absolute certainty beyond a shadow of a doubt, without question, state, for the record, on everything that is holy and dear to me and the world at large, that I beheld SCOOTALOO, SWEETIE BELLE, AND YOUR MANEHATTENITE COUSING BABS SEED RIDING, WITH REIGNS IN THE MOUTH OF A GIANT, HUMONGOUS, FREAKING "OH HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!" AMPHIBIOUS TURTLE LUMBERING AT A SLOW, CONSTANT PACE TOWARDS MY PLACE OF RESISDENCE, WHEREIN I AM CURRANTLY STANDING.

I would appreciate a fast, if not instant, reply to my above message otherwise I will possibly become a homeless, inconsolable mess of a person with the whole hearted intent of murdering ALL THREE GIRLS CURRENTLY RIDING ON A FREAKING TURTLE LUMBERING TOWARDS MY HOUSE

-Your friend, Twilight "Twilightlicious" Deirdre Sparkle

Applejack stares at her phone, re-reading the message several times, even saying it aloud in her best Twilight impression, and yet she still couldn't believe what she was reading

"... Just gonna be on of those days, ain't it?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Applebloom waves at her, her clothes blackened with ash "Hey sis"

Applejack waves, watching the two other girls with her walk past shoeless and covered in ash as well

"... Applebloom?"

Applebloom sits next to her "Yeah sis?"

"You didn't have anything to do with a giant turtle being ridden by Sweetie, Scoots, an' Babs do you?"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, ah was stompin' out fires near th' market. Ah know about th' tortoise though. That's Tank, Rainbow Dash's pet, remember?"

Applejack nods, her mind on auto-pilot "Ah remember. So... mind tellin' me why he's giant?"

"Ah don't know how he's giant, but from what ah understand, Pinkie Pie did somethin' to him that made him huge" Applebloom replies

Applejack sighs "Go inside, Ah have to go stop Twi from killin' ya friends... again"

Applebloom nods and enters the house, Applejack walking towards town Ah need some kind of help dealin' with this kinda junk...

"I WILL DRINK YOUR ENBTRAILS THROUGH A STRAW!!!" Twilight screams, trying to jump on Tank's back, sharpened ruler in hand

Babs looks down at her feeble attempts to get on Tank's back "... Does she do dis often?"

Sweetie nods "About once a month, I think it's her form of dealing with her-"

"LALALALALALALALAAA!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!" Scootaloo yells, covering her ears

"YOU WILL BEG FOR MERCY WHEN I AM- eep!" Twilight trips, launching her head over heels into a rolling spin

Sweetie giggles "She looks like a wheel"

Babs nods "She does, don't she? Where is dis 'forge' ya were talkin' about?"

Scootaloo grins "We're almost there, it's the old airfield near the piers. We can use some of the junk there to build whatever we want. I do own it of course, being rich"

Babs rolls her eyes "An how're we supposed ta bend, melt, or even form metal parts? I don't suppose you have an actual forge an' smelter do ya?"

"Duh, of course I do, I bought a bunch, including tools, and how to do that sort of thing in preparation for Armageddon, the zombie apocalypse, the second return of Fixer Christ, alien invasions, and other things!"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "Scootaloo, the zombie apocalypse won't be for another 100 years, and the second return of Fixer Christ will be 20 years after that. We're okay so long as none of us become immortal or have incredible longevity"

Tank snorts

Babs frowns "Of course, our Gamera will prolly outlive us anyways so... sorry about dat big guy"

Tank snorts again, rolling his eyes as they crest a hill

Sweetie smiles "You guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You to strip naked and hump Tank's shell until we get to the forge?"

"Go out for pizza wit' clams, pineapple, anchovies, 5 cheeses, and squid on top?

Sweetie shakes her head "No, know what it feels like to be riding a koopa as it spins down a hill. But I don't think that Tank'll do that"

Tank pauses and stops at the beginning of the downhill slope. Pulling his legs and head in, he slams his tail into the ground and launches himself down the hill, all three girls trying in vain to hold onto the reigns

First, Sweetie Belle lost her grip, tossed off and through Berry Punch's open window, landing on the sleeping woman "I'm up! I'm up! I was watching the zombies! I swear!!"

Sweetie Belle looks up at her, dazed "Good morning miss Punch... I just got flung off a turtle..."

Second, Scootaloo lost hers, launching her into Ditzy doo, whom had been watching the whole spectacle

Having caught Scootaloo, she looks down at the girl "Are you okay?"

Scootaloo shakes her head, noticing where her head was placed Holy crap they feel like clouds stuffed with downy feathers and sunshine!!

Finally, Babs loses her grip, launching her into "Sofas and Quills", landing in a bucket of quills nib up "OH HOLY MOTHER OF GLOB IT HURTS! IT FEELS LIKE WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO WEAR BOTTOMLESS JEANS NEAR A HORNET'S NEST!!!"

Davenport, the proprieter of the store, sighed "I know how that feels, I've mooned my share of hives..."

And Tank forgot one thing about that hill in particular...

That is was a step one and had a smaller hill at the end before reaching waterfront

I... appear to have made a grave error in my... attempt at mimicking the videogame turtles... oh de- BY THE GREAT SEAS! I'M FLYING WITHOUT MY HELIPACK, THIS IS STUPENDOUS!! Oh look, the ocean is here to welcome me Tank thought to himself, spinning through the air, over the beachfront and landing in the ocean, a giant ripple that turned into a wave several meters tall cresting onto the beach

Board Wax was an avid surfer and had seen a number of strange things in his lifetime

A giant, flying, spinning turtle took the cake by leaps and bounds

"OH HOLY MOTHER OF FIXER CHRIST!!" he yelled, filming it's simple arc into the ocean with his water-proof phone

And upon splashdown, highly trained surfer instinct kicked in, telling him that an awesome wave was coming

"BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!!!!" he yelled, swimming out to it

Applejack finds Twilight hanging from a tree, her clothes and hair in disarray "... Ah'm afraid to ask Sugarcube, but what the hay happened?"

Twilight sighs "I was chasing them, tripped on something that turned my fall into a wheeling nightmare, and then launched off a rock that sent me into this tree"

Applejack nods "Sounds about right. Need some help down?"

"No, I'm enjoying the different perspective this gives me"

Shrugging, Applejack sees Sweetie Belle walk out of Berry Punch's house "What happened to you?"

"I lost my best friend..." she mutters

Applejack raises an eyebrow "How?"

Sweetie sighs "It all started when I ripped..." she pauses, turning around exposing a ripped pair of pants "My pants...*"

After being set down by the mail girl, Scootaloo runs towards the pier "I hope that Babs and Sweetie are okay..."

"Good, just got literal butt-hurt..." Babs mutters, walking out of the store

Scootaloo nods, not slowing down as she watches Tank's massive shell breach the surface "... Okay, I gotta say, that looked pretty awesome"

Babs nods, racing towards the beach "Wonder where Sweetie is?"

Scootaloo smirks "Probably stalling until we tell Tank to hide underwater until we can get him into the hangers"

After finishing her story, Sweetie reaches into her bag and pulls out a grey ball "SMOKE BOMB!!"

The whole street is filled by thick, black smoke, blinding Applejack

A loud crack echoes from somewhere within the cloud as it clears, Applejack wiping her eyes, looking for Sweetie Belle "What th' hay just happened?"

Twilight, still stuck in the tree, sighs "She distracted you with her song and blinded you with a smoke bomb. It's a common tactic for eluding confrontation"

Applejack nods "Sounds about right, where do ya recon they were goin'?"

"Well, turtles-"

"It's a tortoise, that was Dash's pet"

"... Okay, tortoises are amphibious creatures, but unlike turtles, they seem to prefer earthy terrain over aquatic. So they must be taking him to the pier to hide underwater. Or they could be heading to the air hangers and try to hide him there. The former is smarter because we'd need sonar to find a huge tortoise underwater, but then we'd have to either monitor them or spend several hours with a whole fleet of ships to find him. And still, it'd be very unlikely that we'd even find him, even at that size"

Applejack nods before taking off running "Ah'll go check out th' hangers, you check th' ocean"

Twilight groans "I would if I could, but I'm STUCK IN A FREAKING TREE UPSIDE-DOWN!!"

Scootaloo looks around the pier "You'd think that someone would've seen a giant tortoise come down the hill..."

Board Wax walks past them, his board under an arm "That was your tortoise?"

Babs shakes her head "Not technically 'ours' per se... we know th' owner an' are responsible for him, but we don't own him"

Board shrugs "Whatev's anyways, if you guys are looking for him, he landed about half a nautical from the high tide point. See you girls later!"

Sweetie counts on her fingers "So... close enough for my Propellant emitting, nautically inclined searcher!"

Babs rubs her eyes, trying not to laugh "Sweets, what does dat spell? Think about it fer a second"

Sweetie pauses, focusing before blushing like she had sunburn "P-P-P.E.N.I.S...?"

Scootaloo clutches her chest, cackling "O-oh my sides! I think that- HAHAHA!! Pl-plan the ac-acronyms in advance!! Bwahahaha!!!"

Sweetie starts wringing her hands "I... I... I don't... It's an accident..."

Grinning, Babs places a hand on her shoulder "I'm sure it is Sweets, can your- snrk!- PENIS find Tank?"

She nods, pulling out a small disk before tossing it into the water

"Why'd you throw-"

A loud beep emits from Sweetie's C.U.N.T.**, the girl presses a number of buttons and from the ocean, a small submarine rises, several seats of plush leather within

"... HOW?! That disc was the size of a Frisbee! That makes no sense!!"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "It's science, I don't have to explain beans to you"

Babs grins "Sweets, ya may be a girly-girl, but dang if ya can't do awesome things!!"

Sweetie smiles, the top of the sub opening "Come on! We have a tortoise to find!"

Scootaloo shrugs "Not the strangest thing I've heard someone say, come on Babs, we have an adventure waiting!"

Hopping into the ship, the top lowers, Sweetie grinning as the submarine descends

"Scoots, stop making faces at the fishies" Sweeties says, looking around the sea floor "That guy said that Tank landed around here but where is he?"

Babs shrugs, waving to an octopus with a bow-tie "Beats me, maybe he's hiding?"

Scootaloo removes her mouth from the glass dome "How could he hide? He's the size of a house!"

"Hide a fallen leaf in a forest..." Sweetie mutters

"Doesn't dis thing have a translator like in Jenny Quark? Ya know th' one, that let 'em talk to dat giant octopus ta get the sunken treasure?"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "No, that's ridiculous! Why would I need something like that?"

"You have a time machine, a Frisbee sized submarine, a bag that's bigger on the inside, a sonic-whatchamacallit, a laser gun, smoke bombs, a compact hover board, and god knows what else in that bag of yours, and you don't have an animal translator?" Scootaloo asks, counting off on her fingers

Sweetie blushes "Okay, I might have something like an animal translator..." she reaches into her bag and pulls out an S&M bit "Please don't ask why it looks like this, I don't know why, but it just is..."

Babs grins "What's it called?"

"The translator with all of the tongues!" Sweetie chirp before blushing "... Or the T.W.A.T...."

Scootaloo takes it "Seems like it's pretty straight forward, what do I do?"

"You basically think what language or species you want to speak in and talk with it in your mouth"

"Cool, mind buckling it Babs?"

"... I had no idea ya were th' submissive type Scoots"

Scootaloo rolls her eyes "Thou hast wounded me with thy words dear Barbara, and I will simply reply with, your mother"

Babs blinks "Fancy speak?"

Scootaloo nods "It would appear so. Allow me the chance to remedy that with the tongue with which we are in need of"

Sweetie giggles "You sound like VP Luna when she visited"

Scootaloo makes a short crackling noise before motioning to the microphone Sweetie had in her hand

A series of long crackles and breaths come from her mouth, a small mountain shifting in response

Babs stares at Sweetie wide-eyed "Sweets, you are possibly the smartest person ever"

She blushes, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger "Oh stop... I'm nothing special..."

Scootaloo speaks again, the mountain turning around, a dazed looking face looking at them

Babs shivers "I... I don't think that's the Tank we're looking for..."

Sweetie squints before nodding "Nope, that's a humongous sea turtle. Wait, if that isn't Tank, then how on earth is there another giant reptile?!"

Scootaloo shakes her head "I am not to blame for this incredibly exciting yet fear-inducing turn of events. Oh dear god above, I am speaking like an old English escort"

The sea turtle stares at them "Who... is this... 'Tank' of which you... speak?"

Scootaloo looks around the cabin, eyes wide "I implore you my dear friends, tell me that I was not the only one amongst our number that heard the large turtle speak to us in our native tongue?"

Babs nods slowly "I heard it too Scoots, I heard it too"

Sweetie shakes her head "Uh... Tank is a giant tortoise that landed around here about an hour ago?"

The sea turtle nods "Ah, him. He is in that direction, bottom-up and dazed. I cannot say for certain if he is still there, but that was where he was last. If I were you, I'd make tracks for him, tortoises are not aquatic in nature like I am"

All three girls nod, heading in the direction indicated

Several moments of stunned silence pass before Scootaloo breaks the silence "My friends, I think it would be in our best interests if we took what just transpired to our graves and never spoke of it again. I am sure I will hold my tongue"

Sweetie and Babs nod, stares fixed on the form of an upside-down tortoise's shell

Applejack closes the last hanger, sweat on her face "Dang... must be hiding him underwater then... what a world ah live in"

Rainbow Dash swims by, tight latex swimsuit shimmering with droplets "What's the good word Hayseed?"

Applejack sighs "Nothin' much, just lookin' for your pet"

"Tank? Why would you be looking for him here?"

"He grew huge, rode by Sweetie, Scootaloo, an' Babs, scared the crap outta Twi, an' she suspects they're hidin' him either in th' hangers or underwater... an' she's supposed to be gettin' the water"

Rainbow stares at her friend "What the fuck are you two smoking and can I have some?

"Ah ain't takin' any drugs! Twi might need some... look behind ya"

Rainbow glares "Don't hit me on the back of the head or... whoa"

Trudging out of the water is Tank, a small submarine next to him

"... I must have gotten a contact high from you..." Rainbow mutters, swimming towards the sub

Something moves inside of it before opening, Scootaloo grinning at her idol "Hi Rainbow! I made Tank awesome! Watch those meat-heads at your job make fun of him now!"

Rainbow blinks at her before poking Scootaloo's forehead "Okay, not a hallucination... and that means that's... Tank..."

Sweetie ushers Babs and Scootaloo out before pressing a button on the P.E.N.I.S.'s control panel, the submarine beeps and folds into itself, a small disk sitting where the sub once was

Babs shakes her head "If that ain't fridge science, I don't know what is"

"Fringe, and no, it's not, but thanks anyways!" Sweetie says, putting it in her bag

Scootaloo points to Tank who was making his way to the closest hanger, Applejack watching in equal parts horror and awe "Isn't this cool?! Me and the girls are gonna put armor, weapons, a helicopter thingy, and a... what do you call those things that the captain sits in?"

"A bridge?"

"Yeah, that!"

Rainbow grins back at Scootaloo "This is awesome! I have a freaking monster tortoise! If he's able to fly again... I can orgasm just from the thought... uhuhuhuhu~"

Scootaloo fist pumps "Success!! Okay, Sweetie, you start drawing up blueprints and Babs, you get Tank's measurements!"

Both girls salute, running towards the hanger

Applejack snaps out of her stupor "Wha- ya can't be serious about this!"

Rainbow rolls her eyes "Come on Hayseed, we're talking about my pet being an actual tank!! A flying amphibious Tank! This is like my second biggest dream!"

Applejack groans, putting her head in her hands "An' what's the first?"

"Simple, compete in track, swimming, the pole-vault, gymnastics, wrestling, boxing, curling, archery, and the triathlon in the Olympics and place. Why do you think I've been pushing myself to become the best at every sport since grade school?" Rainbow asks, crossing her arms

Applejack looks up, astonished "That's... that's actually a half-decent dream Rainbow... if that does happen, ah'll be cheering ya on"

Sweetie runs over to them "Uh... good news or bad first?"

Scootaloo shrugs "The bad I guess"

"Tank shrunk"

Rainbow jerks her head to Sweetie "What?"

"Good news is, he can control how big and how small he is!"

Scootaloo stares at Sweetie "Are you okay Sweetie?"

"Of course! Anyways, I'll go back to my lab and get some blueprints and stuff and meet you back here tomorrow!"

Skipping away, rainbow shakes her head slowly "Next time I see Rares, I'm telling her to get her tested, because if she's that smart and somehow not insane or crazy like all the geniuses on TV, something must be wrong with her"

Babs walks towards them, carrying regular-sized Tank under her arm "'Ere ya go, I'm headin' to see Silv an' my cuz. Same time tomorrow?"

Scootaloo nods, Rainbow holding Tank who smiles at her "We're going to have a long talk later about what you can do little guy. But for now, I need something sweet and alcoholic. To Sugarcube Corner!!" grinning, Rainbow sprints off the beach, Scootaloo right behind her

Applejack rubs her face, tired "Ah need some sane friends..."

Author's Note

*

Seriously, if you made this connection when she said she lost her best friend, you are good

**

I apologize for the rampant jokes, I just got a new coffee maker and... kinda hyper at the moment

Lyra: I can't feel my tongue...

Then wait for the coffee to cool dum-dum.

Lyra: Yeah yeah... We're out of sake by the way

Why on earth do you drink in the middle of the day?

Lyra: a glass of alcohol is good for you

That's wine and go get me my absinthe, I'm starting to become lucid again

(Some say that Absinth drove Picasso and Van Gogh crazy... I have to agree)

The warnings

Diamond shuts off Applebloom's TV, tears streaming down her face "I... I always cry... at the end of each season..."

Silver rolls her eyes "It's not like they're really dying! They're just changing actors!"

Applebloom shrugs, setting down her book "Ah guess that out of th' three of us, Diamond is th' most emotional"

Diamond rubs her eyes "But... but... it sums up what every single fan was thinking at that exact moment! And... and he was..."

"Look, it's just a TV show. It's fiction, There's no such thing as aliens, monsters, or the occult. It's just people trying to apply outrageous ideas to seemingly illogical events and places. Nothing more, nothing less"

Diamond stares at Silver flatly "We just time traveled yesterday, met space pirates, and you were almost married to the captain. And you can say that with a straight face? You're possibly the most cynical cynic in the world"

Silver rolls her eyes "The fact that Sweetie Belle can somehow travel through time and space does not change my stance on the complete and utter stupidity that you believe in. I'll believe in aliens when I meet one, I'm agnostic remember?"

"That means that ya think all religions are wrong, right?" Applebloom asks

"No, it means 'Without knowledge', I don't believe in anything until it can be explained by science. Magic is for charlatans and the feeble-minded... and nerds like Diamond" Silver says, pulling out her phone

"Oh really? then why is it that I can hear you?" someone asks

Silver rolls her eyes "Because you aren't deaf, duh- Wait, who just said that?"

Applebloom looks around her room "Ah don't know... Diamond, are you a ventriloquist?"

"I'm taking classes for it... but I can't throw my voice across the room yet..." Diamond replies, shivering

"Well, how about you look at the glass nipple?" the voice asks

Diamond and Silver blush "Wh-what?"

"He's talkin' about th' TV" Applebloom says, turning their attention to it

On screen is a tall, thin man in a grey suit, a tie the color of the rainbow fastened in a complex knot and neat red hair under a silver bowler hat obscuring his face. Behind him is a faded marble bench covered with moss, tall, dark trees blot out the sunlight above him and several odd-looking plants fill the rest of the screen "Thank you Miss Apple, I forget which colloquialisms are and aren't vernacular these days... sometimes I make myself feel old"

Silver crosses her arms "Okay, which one of you slipped in a DVD or something?"

The man sighs, sitting down on a moss-covered bench "You're possibly the most cynical cynic in the world. Would it hurt you to just accept that there are some things that can't be currently explained by the sciences? String and quantum theories are both mostly based on conjecture, yet you're a genius when you can talk about it half-way decently"

Silver rolls her eyes "Seriously, is there a hidden camera and a mike somewhere? There is no way I'm having a conversation with someone on TV... this isn't 'The Pride Family'"

the man seems to grin "Well, if that were the case, I'd be a TV personality, and you'd be a Hispanic-mulatto girl who's alone in front of the TV. But alas, you are a pale cynic with a rich otaku friend and a southern slice o' heaven if ah do say so m'self"

Applebloom rubs her face "Ah have no idea what y'all're talkin' about, but ah know when ah'm bein' insulted"

"It was a compliment! But then again, I am a strange man talking to you through your TV set so... no reason to believe a word I'm saying I guess, up to you"

"Okay... so why are you talking to us?" Diamond asks

"Ding ding ding!! We have a winner!" he cheers, clapping his hands "You asked the right question Miss Tiara, I am talking to you because... quiet frankly, I have a soft spot for you and your other friends who are busy turning a reptile into a walking armory at the moment. So I thought that seeing as how you three were all together, You deserved to get to know one of your biggest supporters. You can call me Edward Nigma"

Diamond snorts "So that's who you are? The Riddle?"

He removes his hat, smiling "Exactamunda"

"That's a Batguy villain right?" Silver asks

"Yeah, or he was, he became a PI some time ago. So why is a detective talking to us? You're a long way from Emotham, Eddy"

Putting his hat back on, Eddy snaps his fingers "Another good question from Miss Tiara, you should be on Adversity. Anyways, that's the question isn't it? Why would a fictional detective decide to talk to three girls via TV broadcast? How am I able to hear and see you? What do I have to gain from this? Where am I talking to you three from? And finally, who am I really?"

Applebloom shivers "Please tell me ah'm dreamin'..."

"Okay, you're dreaming" Eddy says

"Not you! Someone else!"

He shrugs "You asked, don't get so riled up"

Silver massages her forehead "Why is it that strange always seems to follow you guys? Why couldn't we just sit here and watch some drivel so I can complain about it?"

"Because that's a waste of time Miss Spoon. Now, I see only one of your number pondering the questions you asked. Would it not be conducive for you to assist her?"

Applebloom snaps her fingers "Ah know only one person who uses those kinds of words. You're my big brother!"

Eddy shakes his head "Sorry, Miss Apple, I'm afraid not"

Diamond sighs "First, to either teach us something, or bring something to our attentions, something we missed. Second, you're hacking both the TV broadcast and all of our phones. The phones give you audio, but Silver's is the only one who's phone is turned on and the camera is pointed at all of us, which gives you visual information. Third, the knowledge of having helped someone you respect, because you said you had a soft spot for us. Fourth, the Canterlot arboretum, the bench you're sitting on is a relic that was owned by the founder and it's placed in the restricted, dark section of the arboretum where they keep endangered and dangerous plants like the nightshade and foxglove at your feet. And finally, Wild Card, VP Luna's rumored head of security and bodyguard"

Eddy sits stock still before clapping enthusiastically "Bravo! Brava! Brassiere! Banka!! You've deduced the answers to your questions!"

Silver blinks "What? Who's-"

Eddy snaps his fingers, a cloud of gas engulfs him and the screen, a happy tune coming from within.

A few seconds later, the cloud dissipates, a man with unkempt silver hair and wearing well-used clothing sitting on the bench with a folded piece of paper in his fingers "There are a few more reasons as to why I hid my identity and the like. For example, I wanted to wear a costume. Anyways, the main reason I'm bothering you three is to deliver a message from Vice President Luna"

He unfolds the paper and clears his throat "' Applebloom Apple, Sweetie Crystal Belle, Rainbow 'Danger' 'Professionalism' 'Snake milker' 'Monster hunter' 'Speedy' 'Trustworthy' 'Greatest' 'Deadshot' Petunia Dash, Scootaloo Dash-Wheels, Barbara Sours Seed, Silver Veritum Spoon, and Diamond Dazzle Tiara. It has come to my attention that all of you are involved with a project that could, in the wrong hands; I.E. my sister's and any government on the face of any planet, cause untold destruction to both this and any other countries. I implore you to cease your pursuit of creating a living, amphibious tank. If you are dead-set on following through on that project. I will have to ask you to not divulge how you created such a thing and under no circumstances, are you to sell it, or any subsequent creations. Keep all information to yourselves, and never tell anyone about this message except for those in direct contact with the ventures.

Wishing for continuing peace and a possible friend

Luna Starshine Moonbeam'"

Silver shakes her head "Why am I on that list? I want nothing to do with any of this!"

Wild Card shrugs "I'm just relaying the message to you. Anyways, remember, never sell, divulge, or speak of this and anything you just heard"

The TV turns off, leaving all three girls in stunned silence

"... That just happened, didn't it? I'm not dreaming?" Diamond asks, leaning against Applebloom

"Eeyup... that just happened... we just got an order from th' Vice President" Applebloom replies, stone still

Silver blinks and shrugs "Meh, I voted for them, so who am I to complain? Anyways, I'm going to go back into the bathroom with my ring again. DON'T WAIT UP!"

"'Ey! Whattaya think yer doin'?!" Babs yells, shaking a fist at Rainbow Dash

"I'm getting the scaffolding done!" Rainbow yells back, nails sticking out of her hair

Scootaloo groans "We don't need any more scaffolding Dash! We need you to use the forklift to bring us the beams and junk!"

Rainbow pauses and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a piece of paper "Huh, you're right Squirt. Sorry"

Babs rubs her eyes "Who died an' made Scoots da foreman?"

"I own the warehouse, the materials, and the machines we're using! That's why I'm in charge!" Scootaloo yells, setting her power drill down

"Guys! I can't do math in my head with all your bickering! Shut up already or I'm going to weld both of your heads to the exhaust piping!" Sweetie yells, snapping a pencil in half

Both girls cringe and mutter apologies before returning to work

Sweetie slumps in her chair, goggles around her neck "Why did I have to fall in love with Scoots? Why did I have to volunteer? Why me? I should be home petting Opal and solving the problem of friction in an automated system..."

Tank, regular size, sighs with her, pencil marks covering his shell

Sweetie looks up and grins at Tank "Thanks little guy. So, I'm thinking that to allow us to speak to you from the top of your shell, we have a headset system. One for you and one for me. That way we can get rid of the reigns and we can just give you orders and directions directly. How's that sound?"

Tank nods, he hated the reigns quite a bit

Sweetie starts sketching again, a happy grin on her lips as she worked

Babs stares at a girder "So... how do ya think I'll manage to bend dis beam?"

Scootaloo slaps her forehead "Right, that. See that machine that looks like a giant big hole-punch?"

Babs nods "Yeh, it bends metal?"

Scootaloo gives her a thumbs up "Yeah, you just need to have the water sprayer on, metal gets hot when it bends"

Babs smiles but then pauses "... An' how am I supposed to lift it?"

Scootaloo grins "Go get an exo-suit"

"Exo-suit? What're ya talkin' about?"

Scootaloo points to a looking mass of metal "That. That is an exo-suit"

Babs' eyes widen "It's... it's beautiful... wait, ya said 'An exo-suit'... ya have more?"

Scootaloo nods, pointing to another one sitting in the back of the warehouse "I got ten of 'em... for robot and zombie apocalypses, you can never be too careful when it comes to robots and zombies"

"Right on Squirt!" Rainbow yells, pumping her fist in the air

Babs gulps before cracking her knuckles, a manic smile on her lips "Dis is da best day of my life!!!"

Silver Spoon nearly drops her soda, her pupils shrinking as she clutches her head "My... danger... sense is... tingling..."

Diamond raises an eyebrow "And I'm the nerd?"

Applebloom shakes her head "If there's a 'Pinkie-sense', a 'Sweetie-sense', an' a 'Spike-sense', a danger sense is pretty tame"

Diamond opens her mouth to argue but decides better of it "So what's the danger?"

Recomposing herself, Silver groans "It means that Babs is about to do something stupid, costly, and dangerous... where's your family's first-aid kit?"

"Underneath the kitchen sink in case of medical emergencies" Applebloom replies, pulling Diamond into a hug

Silver nods and sets her soda down, muttering

Diamond sighs and leans into the hug "How do you deal with all of this craziness?"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Ah got used to it, ah've known Sweetie an' Scoots since your eighth birthday remember?"

Diamond sighs "Yeah... I was so mean to you that day... and every day before and after it. I'm sorry Applebloom"

She grins and yanks on Diamond's earlobe "Th' past is th' past"

Silver sits next to them, a plastic box in one hand "Who knew that line I fed you would result in this?"

"Line?"

"Yeah, I said that thing about 'The greatest hate stemming from the greatest love' as a joke to gross you out. Who knew that I was spot on? I honestly thought that you going along with it was you trying to get back at me or something... who knew that all of this would happen?"

Diamond frowns "So... this whole relationship was built on a cheap joke?"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "That ain't true. Ah asked my brother about it an' he said that it sounded 'bout right to him"

Diamond smiles weakly "Yeah... it does... It's just that... what do you think would've happened if you hadn't said it?"

Silver puts a hand to her chin in thought "Well... considering how your fights had escalated over the years and neither of you have reached your primes... one of three ways: first, you'd kill one another or one would kill the other and the dead one would've inflicted fatal wounds before dying. Second, You two would fall in love like you have. And third, It'd become a dispute that would last decades with both of you trying to destroy the other until you were both old and decrepit, incapable of listening to reason from friends and family, always glaring at each other from your windows or across the room wherever you both were..." Silver shrugs "At least, that's what I think would happen"

Diamond shivers "So... two out of three... we'd be angry and dead?"

"Pretty much"

Applebloom nods slowly "Sounds 'bout right, ah'm a traditionally taught woman an' lord knows we carry some grudges even if we don't know why"

Diamond sighs "And I'm a rich, socialite girl and god knows how many grudges we're capable of holding until we're ancient spinsters or widowers, even if we forget the reason"

Silver shrugs "I'm only fairly well off. I can't hold grudges for too long. And I'm also too well educated to justify it except for the most heinous of offenses"

"Such as?"

"Attempting to kill one of my friends, burning down my house on purpose, being Babs, trying to bring back a dead regime or something... I guess that pretty much covers it"

"Why is bein' my cousin on that list?"

"Do you know your cousin? She's a nightmare to live with. If my hair wasn't already grey, the stress she puts me through would've done it"

Diamond sighs "Can we not talk about this kind of stuff? I'm still a bit stunned that the VP's bodyguard gave us a personal warning from her. Seriously, is being involved with your friends that dangerous?"

"Eeyup. Worth it though, they've been there for me for both th' highs an' downs"

Diamond smiles "And without Silver, I'd be an angry little brat still... thanks Silv"

Silver shrugs "I was doing what I thought was right. If doing right happened to coincide with being your best friend, then I'm glad it happened that way"

Applebloom sighs "Wonder what they're up to? Haven't heard from my sister since she left..."

Appljack groans "Okay Dash, untie me"

Rainbow looks up from her welding "What was that?"

"Untie me ya bird-brain!"

Rainbow shakes her head "Nah, don't feel like it. Undress you though, yes please"

Applejack rolls her eyes "Ah'm not gay like you Dash. Ah'm datin' Caramel fer landsakes!"

"Caramel is as straight as a sidewinder in a maze"

Applejack pauses "That does explain why he likes to work with my brother... Bull feathers"

Rainbow offers a weak grin "Sorry AJ, there are other apples in the orchard"

Applejack sighs "Got a point there..."

"Feel as down as a worm in a ditch?" Rainbow asks

She nods "Yeah... when did you start usin' countryisms?"

"I've been hanging around with you since we were kids Hayseed, your southern charm rubbed off on me" Rainbow says, returning to her work "Anyways, the reason why we have you tied up is because tying people up is fun. I even made sure to make it a smidgen on the tight side"

Applejack sighs "Where did my life go so wrong?"

Sweetie walks over, a bottled water in hand "I think it might've started when you came back to Sweet Apple Acres from Manehatten when you were a kid"

Applejack stares at Sweetie "How do ya know about that?"

"You told me, Scoots, and Applebloom about it when we went around trying to get a clue about how you and the others found your calling in life remember? You took Rainbow's sonic boom to be a sign that you were meant to be where home really was"

Applejack nods "Oh yeah... Twi ever figure out how ya break th' sound wall on foot?"

Rainbow shakes her head "No, she's tried to a lot but ends up locking herself in her 'Panic room'. You know, the one full of padded walls and soothing music?"

Swallowing some of the offered water, Applejack shakes her head "Lord a'mighty I'm sweatin' like-"

"Like a roast turkey in a vegetable steamer?" Rainbow asks

"... Yes, now it's startin' to get creepy" Applejack says, shivering

Sweetie shrugs "I know why, but Twilight goes loco in the coco when I try to help with science... so I do science with Pinkie Pie"

Rainbow grins "Or when I play one of my audio recordings of her in bed"

Applejack sighs "Why do ya spy on us?"

"So I can document your bed-friends to ensure that none of you become carriers of diseases. That's why I work at the colonoscopy clinic and the infectious diseases filing system. I know who has what and buy treatment materials for everything from AIDS to Gonorrhea. And I've vaccinated all of our friends and loved ones with every type I can get my hands on... perks of being one of the higher-ups in the CDC and blackmailing the president... speaking of, has your tongue been feeling... fuzzy lately? Or any unusual smells coming from nowhere?"

Applejack's pupils shrink "Ah... ah... have been smellin' burnt sugar when ah'm showerin'..."

Rainbow nods "That's just the Aids booster I gave you two days ago. It'll stop in about three days"

Sweetie shivers "I thought you said it was a vitamin shot!"

Rainbow rolls her eyes "It was... and also a booster. Your family has a history of carrying a dominant trait for susceptibility for skin diseases so I was just injecting some booster T-cells I cultured from some drool Scootaloo brought me as well as a used pad..." she looks up "Seriously, your grandfather and late aunt are in remission"

Sweetie whimpers "I'm... I'm going to lay down"

"'Kay. Hey Babs! Where do you want this joint?"

"Smokin' in my lap!" Babs replies, cackling

Scootaloo laughs "Yeah! We could use some non-threatening vapors over here!"

Rainbow grins "Okay, if you think you two can handle it..."

Applejack sighs, running her teeth over her tongue "Dash? My tongue feels funny... Dash? DASH?!"

"Why am ah tied up?" Applebloom asks

"Make-up time" Silver replies, a sinister grin on her face

"... That don't answer my question"

Diamond rolls her eyes "We have you tied up so that you can't run away from us when we start making you prettier"

Applebloom sighs "An' ah have to be upside-down?"

Silver spins the wheel "Nope, we just have you on a wheel for fun. And it's like a carnival ride so... this is one of the few times I can make a 'Hick' joke a day"

"How many can you make a day?" Diamond asks

"Five total. That's one down, and I'll make up the other four later"

Applebloom groans "Why does everyone call me a hick? Ah'm not a hick... my cousin Braeburn is a hick ah think"

"You mean Bailey Sweet" Silver says, setting bottles of polish on a table

"What?"

"You don't know? He got a partial sex change. We're penpals... give me a sec, I have few pictures on my phone..."

Diamond cocks her head "'Partial'?"

Silver nods, holding her phone up "Yeah, he got a pair of boobs and junk but kept his dick... it's kinda cool to look out actually*"

Applebloom squints "Why is he wearin' a dress?"

"It was an autographed picture he sent me from a successful performance in Prance. We're pretty close actually"

Applebloom groans "Why are all my relatives weird?"

"My aunts and uncle are Siamese triplets" Diamond says, staring at the picture "Applebloom... your cousin is fuckin' sexy... do you know if he does personal shows?"

Applebloom blushes "If you dare, ah'll break up with you and tell everyone about your secrets... and break your ribs"

Diamond rolls her eyes "You'll be there too, don't be jealous"

"Silver? Kill me please" Applebloom asks

"I'm kidding Applebloom! Sheesh, get a sense of humor!" Diamond says, kissing Applebloom's cheek

"It's bad enough that everyone already assumes that Apples don't pollinate outside the orchard" Silver says flatly before grinning "I'm going to let you two figure that one out while I put on some mascara"

Diamond sits down, thinking "... Pollina- SILVER SPOON! That's not funny!"

Applebloom attempts to shrug "Honestly, that's a new one on me. Pretty clever but when ah get free ah'm gonna get you back"

Silver smirks "Sorry 'Bloom, my barn door don't swing that way"

Diamond sighs "You know who came up with all of the insults and things from when we were kids? That was mostly Silver's doing"

Applebloom blinks "Huh, ah always thought that one about my family growin' from seeds was pretty clever. Me an' Scoots tried growin' me a little brother for months after that"

Diamond raises her hand meekly "That was me..."

Silver shrugs "Hey DT, which eyeliner goes with her eyes?"

Diamond pauses "Dark saffron or maybe... red shift?"

Nodding, Silver pulls out a pencil "You always were good with make-up"

Applebloom squints at Silver "You ain't gonna do that 'Disappearing pencil' trick are ya?"

"No, this is a eyeshadow pencil, it's soft so don't worry. I'm a professional"

"You got your cosmetics license?" Diamond asks

"Not exactly. The school burned down because the teacher was the wife of the area's don who's son was having an affair with the rival family's don's wife. So I got the finished licenses out of there before they set it on fire. I'm technically qualified because it was finished a few hours before the fire. There wasn't any ceremony but Babs and I celebrated surviving and the money she stole from the wife's safe... and information on both family heads so... we stopped a war, got rich, and had a small party... I can't remember what happened after that, Babs got her hands on some hard booze and I woke up naked with a hangover, Bab's jacket was on my chest, and there was a bottle of maple syrup on my crotch. And my neighbor's cat was sleeping on my head for some reason... and for some reason, the smell of boiled broccoli gives me vertigo..."

Diamond stares at her "... I have no response for that"

Applebloom sighs "My life is so messed up..."

Author's Note

Okay... I admit that this is a bit out there but it will all mean something as time passes. Trust me, I'm a cat of my word

*
Yup, I STILL regret nothing... this is too fun

The voyuered

The voyuered

Silver Spoon grins, clapping her hand excitedly "It's perfect! Magnifique! Stupendous!"

"It's missing something... aha! A bit of blush!" Diamond says, kissing Applebloom

"... Admit it, you just wanted an excuse to kiss her, right?" Silver asks, rolling her eyes

"Yeah, you got me... how do you feel Applebloom?"

Applebloom gives them a flat look "Like a clown covered in syrup"

Silver smirks "That's an oddly specific analogy there 'Bloom"

"Ah have done a number of stupid things with my friends. Can ah go now?"

Diamond nods and unties Applebloom's wrists "Sorry, I just wanted to see if I could improve near-perfection"

Applebloom blushes, rubbing her wrists

"So... want to go into town and turn some heads?" Silver asks, undoing her braid

"Why would we do that?" Diamond asks

"Because we're three beautiful ladies before our primes and it's fun?"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, ah'm stayin' home, don't want to be seen with all this junk on my face"

"I'll have you know that all that 'Junk' is worth roughly $20"

"Is it made of gold?" Applebloom asks

"No, that'd be the eyeliner." Silver says

Applebloom sighs "No hip shakin'"

"I can't help it, my butt just moves like that" Diamond says, demonstrating

Silver pauses "You stand in the middle, that way you have a girl on each arm. Every guy's dream come true. Diamond, I have some clothes you can borrow to show off your assets."

Applebloom grins "That sounds like somethin' ah could handle."

*

Walking through town, Silver and Diamond sashay slowly, Applebloom grinning mockingly, as if saying "Ah got two girls an' ya got none"

Rumble runs up to them and slicks back his hair "Hell-o~ ladies... what are three pretty things like you doing alone?"

Silver smiles flirtatiously "Oh... looking for some handsome guy to keep us company..."

Applebloom follows suit "Ya'll wouldn't know where we can find one?"

Rumble pauses and points to himself with his thumb "Of course, me, myself, and this hunk of a man"

Diamond looks around the street "I don't see any... are you sure?"

Rumble frowns "I'm a handsome man. Me."

Silver snorts "... No I don't thinks so..."

Walking past him, Silver flips the bird at him, grinning

Applebloom rolls her eyes "He's almost as bad as Scoots and Dash... almost"

Silver grins "Yeah, aren't there any decent guys in town that aren't Snips and Snails?"

"... Big Mac?" Diamond suggests

"No, my brother is off limits. Hey, ain't that Dinky?"

Sitting at a café is Dinky Doo, sipping a soda and watching people pass

Diamond cocks her head "I... I don't think I've ever spoken to her. And her outfit is doing nothing for her figure"

Silver nods "Me neither. Aren't her parents the mail woman and the clock maker?"

Applebloom nods, walking towards her "Yeah, and what's so wrong with a baseball cap, purple shirt, an' cargo shorts?"

Dinky looks up and waves, grinning at them "Hi girls!"

Diamond waves back "Hi Dinky, how's life?"

"Pretty good, I haven't had to iron out any major problems for others in a while. Besides hooking up and avoiding matrimony, how are you three faring?"

Silver pauses "Wait, what was that last one?"

"Avoiding matrimony?"

"Yeah... how do you know about that?"

"Well, you have a wedding ring on and yet you are in the company of two other girls and gay marriage isn't ratified in Manehatten yet, meaning that you'd have to have been married to a man. Going by how your blood is having trouble getting past the ring, you started wearing it a bit of time ago. And the fact that you aren't in the company of the aforementioned man means that you are either wearing it out of spite or divorced from a Las Pegasus wedding" Dinky explains, sipping her soda

All three girls stare at Dinky, dumbfounded

"Sheesh, you're like Sherlock Holmes" Diamond mutters

Dinky waves her hand "Nah, I just have two smart and observant parents. They taught me and my twin sister all this when we were kids. Like how Filthy Rich probably taught you how to manage money without selling your soul to Beelze. Or how to properly alchemize impurities out of metal for you Silver Spoon. And you, Applebloom, learned from the direct source of one of Ponyville's most respected citizen, as well as how to turn a salted plot of land in to a lush garden... I'm rambling aren't I?"

Applebloom shrugs "Not really. Yall're spot on if ya ask me."

Silver nods "An astute observation Dinky."

Dinky shrugs "Comes naturally to me, my twin's better at reading objects than people so... we all have our special callings"

"Twin? I thought you had an older sister" Diamond asks

"Actually, I'm a few seconds older than Sparkler but..."

A tall, slender woman with two-toned purple hair sits next to Dinky "I thought we agreed to meet at the movies, sis"

"I waited for you for an hour, you never showed and I thought that I might as well pass the time with people watching" Dinky replies, readjusting her cap

The woman sighs "You may be older than me sis, but that doesn't mean you're more mature. Let me see your watch"

Dinky pulls out an intricate golden watch from her pocket "Here, why do you want to- I forgot about daylight saving's, didn't I?"

Sparkler looks at her own watch, held securely on her shoulder "Yup. Honestly, we're the ones who help dad fix all the clocks when it comes, you would think a graduate would have more sense"

Dinky rolls her eyes "I possess sense, but not the ones that most would like me to. Back me up here Applebloom. You wouldn't be here if you had the 'Sense' to follow orders blindly"

Applebloom nods "My ability to question the dumb stuff my friends do has saved my skin and theirs more often than not"

Sparkler sighs "Silver Spoon, you agree that having a bit of common sense helps in life right?"

"Pretty much, I've been surrounded by nuts all my life. I even live with one of the biggest of them."

Diamond raises her hand "Uhhh... is anyone going to ask why Sparkler looks like she's in her twenties?"

Sparkler smiles "Acute Progeria, I grow at a quarter rate faster than everyone else, helps me get into places when you're eighteen and a half and look like you're twenty-two and five eighths. Anyways, you're the tie-breaker, common sense or no sense?"

Diamond sighs "No sense, I like the idea of ignoring social convention and making your own path in life"

"Yes! Whoa-whoawhoawhoa!!" Dinky fist pumps, knocking her chair back "... I'm okay... hey Diamond, that's a pretty daring choice of wardrobe you have going"

Diamond blushes and pulls her skirt down

Silver pauses "What are you talking about? The skirt?"

Rolling onto her arms, Dinky shakes her head "I was talking about something else entirely but in a way... yes. So, now that you've fixed my watch, how about we go see that movie Sparkler?"

Sparkler nods "Yes, we might just make it before the movie begins this time"

Dinky turns her hat around and runs away "Whatever you say Luigi!"

Sparkler growls and follows "Get back here!! I'll stomp you flat, shorty!!"

Applebloom coughs "Ah don't get it"

"Mario Mario is the eldest brother, but shorter. Luigi Mario is the youngest, but taller" Diamond explains, slowly standing up

"This town is crazy. Speaking of crazy, I need to go see if Babs is still alive and give the others that warning from the Vice President. See you guys later" Silver says, cracking her knuckles

"Whelp, guess that leaves jus' th' two of us. What do ya wanna do?"

Diamond fidgets "How about we go to the park?"

Applebloom shrugs "Sound's like a plan to me. Can ah wash mah face too? Ah feel silly"

Diamond nods again, keeping her skirt down

Wonder what's up with her... Applebloom thinks to herself before shrugging it off Prolly nothin' big

Diamond leads, walking with measured steps, still blushing

Applebloom follows, watching humming a song under her breath when her ear starts to itch "... Granny says that somethin' interestin' happens when your ears itch... or was it you were gonna come into money? Eh, don't- Whoa!"

A huge gust of wind blows her back, making Diamond squeal

Why'd she squea- oh wow... so that's what she meant by daring... she's goin' commando... never noticed how pink it was... that gives me some evil ideas...

Diamond smooths down her skirt, her cheeks matching her lips "Th-that was sudden..."

Applebloom grins "Yeah, how about we get to the park?"

Diamond nods, still bright pink

Applebloom sits on a cold metal bench, legs spread wide "Ahhhhh... ah may be a workin' girl, but it's nice to jus' sit somewhere and spread my legs. come on Diamond, it's freein'!"

Diamond blushes and tucks her legs underneath her "N-no I'm fine... can't we just get some-"

"Ice cream? Sure, wait right here" Applebloom runs towards a cart "Heya Sweetcream Scoops."

The beautiful woman smirks, her light purple and orange hair reflecting the light alluringly "Hello Applebloom, how's your brother, he hasn't been around lately

He's been avoidin' you, ya hussy Applebloom thinks to herself "Busy with work an' lookin' out for me. Anyways, my single brother aside, ah'd like to buy a chocolate covered ice cream bar an' a cotton candy cone"

Sweetcream looks both ways before leaning down "You tell me where he'll be right now, and you can have the ice cream for free"

This is too damn easy "Well, ah heard he was gonna be talkin' to Carrot Top about her bush..."

Sweetcream growls and pulls out the frozen treats before putting a key into her cart "That Homely ginger hussy!! I'll shove her carrots where the sun doesn't shine!!"

Grabbing the treats, Applebloom smirks "Bye"

Turning the key, the cart roars and shoots down the sidewalk, taking its driver with it.

Applebloom sighs "ya'd think that they'd figure out ah'm trickin' em by now..."

Returning to the bench, she passes the cone to Diamond before taking a bite out of her bar

Diamond smiles and takes it "Thanks..."

Applebloom nods and licks the exposed ice cream slowly "No problem"

Diamond blushes, licking her ice cream nervously

Need to amp it up a little... turning the bar vertical, she licks it slowly, sensuously, nibbling the chocolate after.

Diamond squeaks and pulls on her skirt, muttering into her cone "Mmph..."

"Ya don't look so good Diamond... let me see..." Applebloom presses her forehead to Diamond's

Diamond's face turns bright red, burying her mouth into her cone "Mmnn... mmnff..."

Applebloom takes a sensuous lick of Diamond's ice cream "mmm... sweet and creamy, just how I like it~"

Diamond's nose starts to bleed "St-stoppit..."

Applebloom grins "Ah know what'll make ya feel better... just do as I say"

Diamond squeaks, her nose buried in the cone

"Spread ya legs"

Diamond shakes her head, blood running down her face

Applebloom chuckles and grabs Diamond's thighs "Ah said 'Spread 'em'"

Diamond's legs are parted with ease, exposing her wet lips "Now lean back into th' bench..."

Diamond tries to close her legs again but Applebloom quickly slaps Diamond's butt "No, ah'm makin' th' decisions. This is payback for th' make-up"

Diamond whimpers and leans back, covering her snatch with her free hand "Pl-please... I... I forgot to grab a pair this morning..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes "No, you wanted me to see ya like this... for everyone to see ya like this... ain't that right?"

Diamond shakes her head furiously, yelping when another slap is applied to her butt

"Lyin' don't do ya no good" Applebloom warns, taking a bite out of her own treat

Diamond whimpers "It... it was-wasn't on purpose... I swear..."

Applebloom shrugs and finishes her bar "If that's ya story, then that's ya story... but how about ya get-" she wrenches Diamond's legs out from under her "-Off ya legs?"

Diamond coos as the cold metal meets her snatch "Ah... ah... Mmmnn..."

Applebloom twirls the popsicle stick between her fingers walking behind the bench "An to make sure ya ain't got a fever, we need to take your temperature"

Diamond blinks and looks behind herself "What do you- EEEEEEE!"

Applebloom shoves the popsicle stick right into Diamond's anus, enjoying the spectacle of Diamond's ass "Don' worry, it shouldn't take too long to get a readin' if ya sit still"

Diamond moans and leans forward, trying to eject the stick

Applebloom pulls her back "Come on Diamond, it won't work unless you sit like ah told ya"

Diamond shivers as a cold wind makes it under her hand "Ahhh... please... have-have mercy..."

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, now finish ya ice cream, but not the cone"

Diamond sniffles and slurps her ice cream, passing the cone to Applebloom when she holds up her hand "Nope, but ah think we both know where that's goin'"

Diamond whimpers "Pl-please... I don't wanna"

Applebloom shrugs and stands up "Fine, see ya later"

Diamond squeaks "Stop... I've been a bad... cow" she shivers Oh god I feel so fucking horny!!

Applebloom nods and sits down next do Diamond "Ya'll have. So it only seems fair to punish ya... now get to it"

Diamond gulps and shakily removes her hand, quickly pushing the waffle cone into her wet snatch, the gridded surface doing nothing to stifle her pleasure

Applebloom grins "Good girl, now stand up, but if you break that tryin' to close your legs, ya have to pull th' pieces out yourself"

Diamond nods and lowers her skirt Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! I'm... ah! it's poking my... sweet spot... c-can't close my legs...

"Come on, ah got an idea of where to go to next, try to keep up"

Applebloom whistles a tune, leading Diamond Hmmm... this will either bite me in th' ass or make her hornier than a guy rabbit trapped in a cage surrounded by girl ones during heat season...

She shrugs "Either way, glad I got a camera"

Diamond looks up at the store Applebloom chose "'A-agriculture Depot'? Wh-why here?"

"Well, there's somthin' missin' from your outfit. Ah figured now was a good time to fix it" Applebloom replies, opening the door

Diamond walks in slowly, biting a finger to stifle her moans, Applebloom poking her butt with a stick she found "Move it, Ah'm gettin' ya a surprise present... Sweetie says couples do that."

She picks up speed, trying to keep her head low Someone's going to see me! Someone's going to see me! Someone is- AH!"

Applebloom grins as Diamond stiffens up as an orgasm courses through her "Guess th' thermometer is a bit too direct a way if ya stiffen up like that... ah'll just remove-"

Diamond whimpers in disagreement, shuffling forward stiffly

"Huh, stronger'n ah thought." Applebloom grins Then that means ah'll get to do so much to her as payback for tyin' me up...

Diamond picks up speed again, still hunched over to hide her face Applebloom's a disgusting pervert... and yet I can't say no... I'm too... drunk on pleasure...

Applebloom whistles and points to an isle "This has th' thing ya need. But ah need ya to close your eyes, it's still a present. Don't open 'em till ah tell ya to"

Diamond nods and closes her eyes What could be in a farming and hardware store that I need for my outfit? Well, besides panties and... Oh god I forgot to wear a bra! D-did some part of my mind want this to happen? I'm such a pervert... "Applebloom?"

No answer.

"A-applebloom?"

No reply

"A-apple...bloom?" her voice cracks suddenly, but her cry is answered by a pair of gloved hands grabbing her waist "Howdy thar little missy..." A deep, masculine voice rumbles from behind her

"H-have you seen m-my friend? A-applebloom?" she asks, the feeling of a bristly beard rubbing her cheek sending waves of fear down her back

"Naw, but can't we be friends too?" He rumbles, pinching her cheeks

Her breath catches in her throat "Please don't..."

She can hear him smile "What was that little- OW! What the hell Applebloom?!"

Diamond raises an eyebrow "Scootaloo?"

She can hear a scuffle behind her and then the hands are removed from her waist with a grunt

"For th' love of... why are you three trying to molest my girlfriend?"

Diamond's fear fades when Applebloom places a hand on her shoulder "Th-thanks Applebloom"

"Tweren't nothin'. ya can open yer eyes now..."

Diamond nods and whne her vision clears, on the polished floor of the store are Babs, Scootaloo, and Rainbow Dash "Wh- what? What happened to the guy with the gloves and beard?"

Applebloom sighs "They were trickin' you... Scoots threw her voice, Rainbow had th' gloves, an' Babs used a horse's brush. Why didn't you run?"

Diamond blushes "I... I was afraid I'd run into something because my eyes were closed..."

Scootaloo grins "Yeah, we figured that you'd follow what Applebloom said to the letter. And now I've got some upskirts of you... Totally worth it"

Babs groans and rubs her cheek "Ow... seriously, I think ya nearly knocked my jaw out cuz... Scheiße..."

Rainbow grins and pops her neck "I was just doing that for fun."

Applebloom takes Scootaloo's camera and puts it in her pocket "Ah'll give it back when ah get rid of th' images"

Scootaloo whimpers "Nooo..."

Diamond hugs Applebloom "Thank you, you're my hero"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Twern't nothin' ah said..." she turns to the other girls "Now GIT!"

All three jump up and scramble out of the store leaving dust in their wake

Sighing, Applebloom turns to Diamond "If yall're in danger, ya can ignore what ah said"

Diamond sighs "Sorry Applebloom... I get... dumb when I'm horny"

Shrugging, Applebloom picks up an item from the floor "Here we go, th' missing piece"

Diamond closes her eyes and the feeling of leather on her neck and Applebloom's thigh between her legs makes her moan out

"Okay, open 'em" Applebloom instructs, grinning

Diamond nods and looks down at her neck, a small cowbell with a leather strap glitters in the light of the store "Wh-what?"

"Well, ya did say ya fancied yourself a cow so ah thought it'd be cute to see ya with a cowbell around your neck."

Diamond blushes and starts fidgeting "I... uhm... oh wow... uhh..."

Applebloom pauses "Uh... too mu-mmph!!"

Diamond leaps and kisses Applebloom, the bell jingling in response

Applebloom pushes back "D-diamond! What do ya think yer doin'!?"

Diamond grins and flicks the bell "Thank you Applebloom. I love it, and now I want to return the favor..."

Applebloom backpedals "Not in th' store, okay? Pretty sure that's illegal..."

"It is, but only when you get caught" Scootaloo says, a bag in each hand "Take these, you'll thank me later"

Applebloom takes the bags "What's in these?"

"Miscelanious stuff. Anyways, see you two lovebirds later, and if you want a public place where there aren't any cameras and no employees, go into the garden section near the shrubs." Scootaloo jerks her thumb and picks up a box "I got some chicks I need to take home, bye"

Diamond growls and leads Applebloom towards where Scootaloo instructed Sex in public! Oh my god, I'm going to have sex in public! Outside no less!! I can't- ow!!

Applebloom blinks "Wh-was that-?"

Diamond groans, throwing her head back as another orgasm rips through her "Ahh... mmnn... haaah..."

Diamond shakily pushes open the door to the outside area, her half-lidded eyes locking onto the shrubs "Th-there..."

Applebloom tries to stop Diamond but is instead dragged alongAh forgot how strong Diamond is when she's horny... ah might need to cut off my wrist to get free!

Panting, Diamond gets down on her hands and knees, ass in the air "Wh-what's the reading?"

Applebloom gulps and lifts up Diamond's skirt, soaked shards of the ice cream cone falling out of her enflamed snatch, the popsicle stick standing up like a pop-up thermometer Okay, this is my fault for tryin' to get revenge... an' ah love it!

Grabbing the exposed end, Applebloom wrenches it out and tosses the stick over her shoulder "Ain't good, your too cold, ah suggest a series of exercises to get ya back ta normal"

Diamond shivers "An-and what might those be?"

Applebloom smirks, reaching into the bag Scootaloo gave her "Ah know just th' things..." Come on Scootaloo... don't fail me you pervert...

She pulls out a riding crop "Uuhh... no."

Butt plug "... No clue what this is..."

And finally, a plastic ball with a dial "... Diamond, tell me what the Sam Hill these doohickeys are for"

Diamond sits down, moaning as her rear touches the cold floor, popping shards of the cone into her mouth "Well, the riding crop is for domination play, the butt plug is, of course, for the butt. And the ball is a fairly recent adaptation of the pectoral orbs. The Neighponese geishas would stick them in themselves and clench down on them in order to keep their pussies tight. This is electric and when you turn the dial, it releases a series of shocks, the higher the setting, the more powerful and frequent the shocks."

Applebloom blinks "Hen tie?"

"Yeah, pretty much" Diamond replies, reaching inside her snatch and offering a few shards "Want some?"

She shivers "N-no thanks..."

Diamond shrugs "Suit yourself"

Applebloom stares at the three items and grins evilly "Diamond~?"

"Hm- AH!" A quick smack to her mons sends Diamond onto her back "Wh-what was that for?"

"For bein' your usual, perverted self" Applebloom purrs, kissing her nose

"O-oh okay... so what do you- ah!" Diamond's body spasms as Applebloom's fingers enter her "Huh, ya know, this is a lot looser than ah remember. Ah guess ya do need to clench this thing"

Applebloom grins, watching Diamond squirm as she flexes her fingers "Ya could come right here, couldn't ya?"

Diamond nods weakly

"Well, not until you get better" she removes her fingers and offers them to Diamond "Lick, this medicine should help ya"

Diamond takes them into her mouth, slurping and sucking hungrily

Removing her fingers, Applebloom grins "Now, we need to see if there are any odd blemishes on your body"

Running her fingers up and down Diamond's chest, she clicks her tongue and unbuttons the sweaty blouse to expose her soaked brassiere "These wet clothes ain't doin' ya any good either. Takin' all th' warmth out of ya. There, ain't that better?"

Diamond moans and nods her head "St-still cold..."

Applebloom clicks her tongue and runs her hand down Diamond's chest "Well, ain't that why ah'm here?"

Diamond gasps as Applebloom kisses her neck "A-applebloom?"

"Ah know how to make ya squirm. Now hold still..." with practiced ease, Applebloom nibbles on Diamond's ear

Stifling a squeak, Diamond's hands inch towards her exposed breasts, but Applebloom stops her "No, ya need your rest an' ah'm th' doctor... understand?"

"C-c-crystal..."

Applebloom grins and flicks the bell around Diamond's neck "Good girl."

Applebloom starts to knead Diamond's mounds in her hands, rubbing the areola with her thumbs "Like that?"

Diamond nods, her own hands clenched.

Ah guess listenin' to Scoots sometimes is actually helpin' Applebloom muses, when Diamond's hands grab hers "What?"

Diamond moves Applebloom's hands to her clit "Please..."

Applebloom grins and traces her fingers down Diamond's lips "Well since ya asked so nicely..."

Diamond gasps, her back arching as Applebloom slips two fingers in, then three "Wonder if ah can get my whole hand in there..."

Shaking her head, Diamond opens her mouth but Applebloom shoves her pinky in, silencing the protest "What was that?"

Someone opens the door to the outside, both girls freezing in place "Hello? Is anyone in here?"

Applebloom stands up, still massaging Diamond "Yeah, ya lookin' for somethin'?"

The tall, lanky teen shrugs "Not really, just seeing if you needed any help."

"Nah, ah'm good, thanks."

He nods and leaves, both girls sighing in relief "Okay... that was close..."

Diamond moans "Why didn't you stop? I could've slipped my clothes back on..."

Applebloom grins, her thumb rubbing Diamond's anus "To see if almost bein' caught makes ya hornier."

Diamond mutters into the cold floor, hoping the chill undoes her blush

Applebloom chuckles, removing her fingers and rubs the fluid between her fingers "Ya like it... why else are ya showin' me ya rear?"

"Wha- oh..." Diamond's face burns, her ass in the air "I... I was pulled by you..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Suuuure... an' I got a solid gold fedora in my closet"

Before Diamond can respond, Applebloom slides her lubricated thumb into Diamond's anus, her other fingers slipping back into Diamond's wet snatch "Fits like a glove!"

Oh god! Oh god! Oh god she's rubbing my anus! Diamond groans, fondling her breasts Why does it feel so good?! I... I think I'm gonna-

Feeling Diamond's body stiffen, Applebloom slows, grinning evilly "Not yet..."

Diamond whimpers, massaging her breasts attempting to orgasm Come... on... so... close...

Applebloom flexes her other hand and flicks Diamond's nub "How long do you think you can last? Three? Four?"

Diamond shakily holds up her hand, fingers spread.

"Five? Well, let's see about that...."

Applebloom continues her massage, sitting underneath Diamond "C'mon, sit."

Diamond nods and sits on Applebloom's lap, the latter's hand still inside, dancing on the tender flesh.

Applebloom snakes her other hand under one of Diamond's arms and massages her breast, yanking on it every so often "If ah win, you have to wear that bell for a week."

I- AH! I would've do-done that anyway-mph! Diamond thinks, unconsciously grinding her hips.

"An' if ah lose, we can do whatever you want for a week. Sound fair?"

Diamond nods, biting her finger again as she feels her climax peak.

Applebloom slows again, but keeps teasing Diamond's breast "That's two~" she whispers, nibbling on Diamond's ear again.

D-damn it... Wh-why is she so... good at this?! It's not- AH!

Applebloom peppers kisses down Diamond's shoulders, enjoying the barely stifled shivers and moans, her pinned hand playing air piano inside of Diamond, her thumb massaging the tight space that is her anus "Yall're gettin' off of your butt? What a dirty little cow..."

Diamond squirms, fighting back her arousal, but to no avail. Must... be strong...

Sensing Diamond's climax, Applebloom slows "Do you want me to let you finish? Just nod..."

Diamond shakes her head, grinding her teeth.

"Okay then... two more times..." Applebloom coos, removing her groping hand from Diamond's breasts.

I... I can make it... what's her hand doi- no... she can't- A soft moan answers her internal dilemma

"Ah... you have no id-ah! idea how easy ya got it Dia-ah... mond..." Applebloom moans sensuously

"App- Applebl- ahn~ bloom... th- that's not... f-fair..." Diamond moans, unconsciously grinding harder.

"Who... said anythin'... about fair? Ah need to... mmmn~" Applebloom moans, rubbing her chest against Diamond's back.

Diamond.exe has crashed. Diamond succumbs to her lust and moans out her assent "M-make me... cum..."

Applebloom grins and kisses Diamond's cheek, removing her hand from between Diamond's thighs.

Diamond whimpers weakly but Applebloom presents her soaked hand to Diamond "Clean."

She takes the whole hand into her mouth, licking and slurping her own essence like it was a divine ambrosia.

Applebloom removes her other hand from her own slit and Diamond nods, pouncing on the other hand hungrily.

"Good little cow... how about ah finish ya off?"

Not waiting for a response, Applebloom licks up Diamond's slit before sucking on the exposed flesh, her tongue licking roughly

Diamond falls onto her back, writhing and moaning as her pleasure peakes, much to Applebloom's enjoyment.

Then Diamond closed her legs around Applebloom's head, one hand holding her head in place, the other teasing her clit wildly "Guh- gunna- MNG!!"

Everything fades to white as Diamond finally orgasms, her whole body seeming to fall asleep for all of eternity, leaving her mind empty of anything but the feeling of Applebloom's tongue and breathing.

Diamond slowly stirs in her bed and yawns, her whole body aching "Ugh... another lucid sex dream..."

"Mmnn... shuddup... m'sleepin'" Applebloom mutters, pulling Diamond close to her bare chest.

Diamond grins and nestles into Applebloom's embrace "I should forget my underwear more often..."

Scootaloo pops her gum and presses a button on her DVD player "Soooo worth paying the manager eighty smackers..."

On the screen is Applebloom carrying Diamond out of the store.

"Worth. Every. Cent."

Author's Note

*some nice music to listen to... it was this or hip hop and... that would be horrid
And this is something that I found hilarious and true.

She judges

The harness

Diamond looks at her ensemble in the mirror happily. It wasn't that the outfit itself was particularly unique, but the accessory around her neck.

Flicking the bell with her hand, it chimes a sing note, eliciting a giggle and another flick.

Applebloom leans in the doorway, staring at Diamond's antics "In hindsight... maybe choosin' wearin' th' bell as punishment wasn't my smartest idea... seein' as how yall've played with it for five minutes now..."

Diamond squeaks and whips her head behind her "I... how long have you been watching?!"

Applebloom grins "Th' whole time."

Blushing, Diamond buries her hands in her pockets "S-sorry I'm so weird..."

Applebloom shakes her head "Nah, you ain't weird, jus' funny... and adorable when ya wanna be."

Diamond smiles, her blush fading "So... what do you want to do today?"

"Honestly? Find Scoots and Sweetie to make sure they ain't dead."

"I'm... almost certain they aren't dead."

"Uh-huh... let's go."

Applebloom pushes the metal door of the warehouse open and immediately wishes she hadn't.

"I am queen of the warehouse!" Scootaloo yells, piloting a huge machine.

Babs groans, her own machine unable to move "Damn gyros had ta give out!"

Diamond pushes past Applebloom and squeals "Mechs! Building mechs! This is so... uh... nevermind..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Go ahead"

Squealing, Diamond runs over to Scootaloo's mech.

Sweetie Belle shuffles over to Applebloom in fuzzy pink slippers, askew glasses, disheveled hair and a discolored tee "Hullo Applebloom..."

"Landsakes! What happened to you?"

Sweetie blinks and puts a mug to her lips but finds it empty "Right... out of coffee... used coffee maker for soldering iron..." she blinks, blackened fingers scratching her head "Sorry, what was the question?"

"What happened to you?"

"Work... I've been working on schematics, liquid circuit boards, blue prints... keeping Babs and Scootaloo from killing each other... keeping Rainbow from messing with your sister whom she's held prisoner for a while... feeding Tank... how long have we been here?"

"Uhh... day and a half?"

Sweetie nods and reaches into one of her pockets and produces a syringe "I... keep myself awake with these... Caffeine, synthetic heroin, concentrated B-12... and electrolytes... non addictive but... until Tank comes back with lunch they're the only things keeping me conscious..."

Applebloom knocks the needle out of her friend's hands "Where's Silver?"

Sweetie blinks and looks at her hand "... I needed that shot..."

Shaking her head, Applebloom sighs "Where is Silver Spoon?"

"She's gone to a better place... lucky her..." Sweetie Belle replies, yawning.

"She's dead?!"

Sweetie shakes her head "No... just escorting Tank"

As if on cue, Silver Spoon walks in with a caravan of coolers behind her "I'm back stupid people and Sweetie!"

Sweetie waves tiredly, walking towards her "Do you have it?"

Silver nods and reaches into one of the coolers "The fact that every single barista asked me how you were doing and sending me off with all of the coffees and then some at half price because I had you say you were my friend is more amazing than the fact that you've been building a giant flying harness for giant Tank. Seriously, it was a Starbucks, they're known for their snarkyness."

Sweetie takes the offered coffee slowly, draining it in one pull before gasping, her eyes shooting open "Whoo hoo!!"

Diamond walks back over with a wrench "I had to club Rainbow for trying to grope me. She thinks that a scarecrow is your sister by the way."

Applebloom shrugs "Sounds about right. How're Scoots an' Babs?"

"Passed out and nursing a twisted wrist respectively."

Silver groans "I leave for two hours and I come back to stupid. What is my life..."

Sweetie opens the coolers and pulls out her bag "Finally I can shower!"

Diamond shrugs and opens another one "Okay, what's in- Applebloom, look at this."

Sitting next to her, Applebloom pulls out a sleeping Persian cat "Opal?"

The cat yawns and regard the two girls with the indifference inherent in all felines.

"Ah... ah thought Opal died 3 years ago."

"I never really liked her, always getting white hair over my clothes and scratching me... I don't even think she even liked Rarity."

Opal yawns again and wiggles out of Applebloom's grasp before running towards Tank who slumbered in his shell atop Sweetie's worktable.

Babs walks over rubbing her wrist "Oww... Heya cuz, 'ow's life treatin' ya?"

"Pretty good, how about you?"

"Pretty good, got ta use a freakin' mech, buildin' a giant fortress on a tortoise's back, half drunk on cider, an' haven't popped any stitches." Babs replies

Diamond grins "So how goes the building? I don't see it anywhere..."

Babs pulls a pair of glasses out of her pocket "Try dese..."

Diamond puts them on and gasps "It's invisible?! How?! I can believe time travel and everything else, but I draw the line at invisibility!"

Babs grins "Pretty sweet right? We been testin' since sunrise, we're tryin' ta see 'ow long it works on a full battery. Makes Tank invisible too."

Applebloom pulls the glasses of Diamond and whistles "Dang... now that's th' kinda stuff that scares me. Th' things Sweetie can do..."

Sweetie skips back over, looking like her usual self "Hey guys! I see that you saw the apparatus."

"Seein' it is th' problem! It's invisible!"

Sweetie giggles "I know, I can't believe that I was able to create a machine that bends light around whatever is in immediate contact! If I could shrink it to maybe a tenth of its size we would have invisibility backpacks!"

Diamond blinks "'Bends light around'? If that were the case we'd be unable to see anything behind it! We're seeing through it, not around it!"

Sweetie opens her mouth, closes it, then opens it again "I... you're right... if we were bending light around it we wouldn't see anything... then how... wait! It's not bending it, it's filtering it! We see through it because the light is being projected by the cloak itself! We see through it because our eyes aren't registering the apparatus itself!"

Applebloom tunes out and nods in understanding every few seconds.

Diamond jumps excitedly and runs towards the center of the warehouse but stops abruptly.

Silver waves her hand in front of Applebloom's face "You in there 'Bloom?"

Applebloom blinks "Sorry, zoned out... why is Diamond on th' floor?"

"She ran into the invisible harness."

Applebloom sighs "Somethin' just ain't right with my friends..."

Silver rolls her eyes "Tell me about it. But they are our friends and that makes putting up with their stupid worth it."

Nodding, Applebloom walks over to Diamond "You okay?"

"I ran into an invisible object... so yes and no." Diamond replies, rubbing her forehead.

"What have we learned?"

"... Absolutely nothing."

Applebloom sighs "Don't run into invisible objects... wait, how can you avoid what ya can't see? That makes no sense..."

Diamond sighs and rolls onto her feet feeling around "I wonder if we painted it... would we see the paint?"

Sweetie appears from a door in the side of the harness "Nope, I paint-proofed it, nothing sticks, not even my sister's pudding."

Applebloom nods "That stuff is sticky..."

Someone slams the door open "THE BOOZE BITCH IS BACK MY LOYAL CUNT SLAVES!"

Everyone groans "Rainbow's back..."

Sweetie grins and pulls a remote out of her bag "Watch, this is my stun-gun. Stuns a dragon at 3 paces..."

Diamond snorts "Unless it works underneath scales I doubt that claim."

Applebloom grins "Nerd."

Diamond grins and flicks the bell "I'm your nerd."

Sweetie points the device at Rainbow "Clicky!"

A thin beam of light nails Rainbow in the forehead and she falls facedown, her hair sticking up.

Babs walks over to Rainbow and pokes her with a wrench before shrugging and taking her wallet.

"Put it back Babs!" Applebloom yells.

Babs blushes and drops the wallet, whistling innocently.

"An' what's inside it!"

Babs sighs and drops several cards and dollars on Rainbow's head "You suck!"

Diamond holds up a rod covered with buttons "So... this can turn water into wine?"

Sweetie shakes her head "No, it does more than that! It alters the composition of any molecules in the vicinity of the target and binds them together into something different."

Diamond grins "So it's an alchemy wand?!"

Sweetie thinks about this then nods "Basically."

Diamond's eyes sparkle and she runs off, giggling.

Applebloom sighs "Ah know that look in her eyes..."

Sweetie shrugs and pulls out a small marble "These are going to be the ammunition we use. They're compressed rubber balls that when fired grow to the size of an apple. So with that in mind, we can safely knock enemies unconscious. Babs wanted to put some of her incendiary rounds instead but that could really hurt some one. Also, we're having trouble with the harness' engines. I thought about using helicopter or airplane engines but that wouldn't work in theory. I also accidentally invented a magnetic charger."

Applebloom scratches her head "Like for electromagnets?"

"No, it magnetizes objects. watch." Sweetie pulls out a small laser gun and fires it at Rainbow's prone form.

Applebloom stares at Rainbow "It ain't doin' anything."

"Wait for it..."

The wrench that Babs had shudders and flies towards Rainbow, hitting her in the side with a loud "Whump!"

Applebloom whistles "Cool... is it permanent?"

Sweetie shakes her head "No, on non-metallic objects like living things it lasts only about an hour. On metal, it lasts about a whole day unless I blast it again. But it does usually short out any delicate magnetic parts in machinery. So it makes a pretty unique take on an EMP."

Applebloom nods "Ah have no idea what that means."

"Basically it means that anything living she blasts is a magnet for an hour, anything metal for about a whole day, and another blast undoes the first. And it breaks machinery" Scootaloo says, rubbing her head.

Sweetie nods "Basically. I have a few more devices to add but they're not done yet."

Diamond and Silver walk over with cotton candy in their hands "Best. Invention. Ever."

Sweetie nods and takes one of the clouds of sugar "You used a bag of sugar for this?"

Diamond nods "Cotton candy is basically sugar spun by heat. So I figured it would work."

Applebloom takes a cloud of it and bites into it "Tastes like th' ones from th' fair..."

Rainbow walks over with the wrench stuck to her hip and a few shards of metal sticking to her face "Guys? I think I'm that magnet guy from the comic books..."

Diamond her eyes "I guess that means you have a magnetic personality if it wasn't so repulsive."

Rainbow snorts "Sure, make potshots at the mistress of magnetism!"

Sweetie blasts Rainbow, and the wrench falls onto her foot "AUGH! MY FOOT! I use that foot!"

Diamond snorts "She took the 'Magnet' out of 'Magneto'... do you think you could give me mutant powers?!"

Sweetie giggles "Maybe~"

Applebloom holds up her hands "No. Last time someone took that bait, Snips and Snails became Sugar and Spice... not that it wasn't funny, but it was surreal."

Sweetie snorts "They wanted to know what it was like to be a lady. How was I supposed to know they meant it figuratively?"

Rainbow stops hopping and picks up Tank "Hey, how much longer until Tank can carry us on his back and wreak havoc on Ponyville?"

Sweetie frowns "I'm not sure if I like the sound of that. I was just building this in case of emergencies; not to wreak havoc on innocent people."

Rainbow groans "Come on... this is our chance to leave a mark in history! What's so wrong with wanting to wreak a little havoc?"

"Th' havoc part?"

Scootaloo walks over with a helmet on "I'm ready for the living ammunition cannon!"

"We didn't build a human cannon!" Sweetie groans, rubbing her forehead.

Rainbow moans "We can't launch ourselves?! How else are we supposed to infiltrate places?!"

"Where would you even do that?"

"... The spa. I like the spa. They have necked ladies there." Rainbow replies

Diamond rolls her eyes "Why not just pay to go inside?"

Scootaloo scratches the back of her neck "We can't... we're banned."

"Do... do ah want to know how you two got banned from there?"

Scootaloo grinss "We installed cameras in the sauna, massage rooms, and hot tubs. We also had remote control of the water temperature so we could freeze out a bunch and boil others! When Aloe and Lotus investigated we had the water back to normal! It was hilarious!"

Applebloom rubs her forehead "Sweetie, do ya have an invention that will make Scootaloo less... perverse?"

Sweetie pulls out a helmet covered with wires "I have my untested electrotherapy helmet. I improved it so that it activates inactive parts of the brain. I guess I could use it to de-activate parts of it..."

Silver shakes her head "Electroshock therapy is so... archaic! Did we end up in the 50's again?"

Diamond nods "Yeah... it was like the electric chair except without the sponge..."

"Could it give me x-ray vision?" Scootaloo asks

Sweetie stares at her "No! What do you- NO! How on earth would it give you x-ray vision?!"

Scootaloo shrugs "I figured that if it works on the brain, it would work on eyes and that meant super eye powers."

Diamond rubs her forehead "No... x-ray vision is a result of a biological feature. You'd need to either have the right organs transplanted into your eyes or be born with them."

"An' how do ya know this?"

"... I research the science behind comic books and see if the things in them are possible..."

Silver groans "And you say I'm weird for cataloguing obscure philosophical texts."

Sweetie cocks her head "Didn't you buy 3 Gutenberg bibles?"

Silver nods with pride "Yes. one of the rarest books of all time."

"Do you have the Necronomicon?" Rainbow asks "'Cause if you did, That'd be awesome."

Silver gives her a flat look "No, the Necronomicon was a plot device in a mad man's narratives to describe what was surely a delusional and damaged mind. It doesn't exist."

Rainbow deflates "Darn... I wanted to get a chainsaw hand."

Silver sighs "No... just... no. I'd expect that kind of thing from Babs but... wait, where is Babs?"

A loud explosion sounds from the other side of the warehouse, flooring everyone.

Scootaloo points to Babs who has a smoking tube on her shoulder "Over there... I think."

Sweetie and Diamond run towards her but slam into the still-invisible harness "Ow..."

Applebloom snorts "You two okay?"

Sweetie rubs her nose "I bith my thongue..."

Diamond give a thumbs up and groans "I'm... just going to lay here until the room stops spinning..."

Babs grins, waving "'Ey! Th' harness is RPG proof!"

Sweetie glares at her "I told you the endurance phase of testing was after the mechanical link-up checks!"

Babs shrugs "I was bored, dere were rockets layin' 'round, what did ya expect?"

Scootaloo and Rainbow nod "Sounds logical to us."

Applebloom rubs her head "Flyin' monkeys seem logical to you two."

"But... dey do exist, right?"

Silver shakes her head "No, they don't, and never will. Not only would that be biologically impossible, but it would also be a stupid thing to do in the first place."

"Have you seen Wretched? Or The magi of Mu?" Scootaloo asks, crossing her arms.

Diamond claps her hands "As entertaining as this is, I'm concerned about the fact that Babs launched an explosive rocket at us without knowing if it the harness would protect us. If it hadn't, we would be dead as door nails and you'd have committed accidental homicide on the six of us!"

Babs blushes "Ah... ah hadn't thought dat far ahead... ehehehehe..."

Rainbow shrugs "Eh, wouldn't be the first time I was nearly killed by an explosive projectile. Prolly not gonna be the last either."

"I blow myself up at least three times a day, I have a concussive and heat damage proof force field around myself." Sweetie adds

"I've been launched out of cannons hundreds of times and I'm no worse off." Scootaloo say, scratching her head

"An' we apples don't kill too easy... an' bein' friends with these two has made me that much stronger..." Applebloom says before grinning "An' ah'd jump in th' way to protect y'all."

Diamond shivers "Silver... I think the two of us are the only humans in this group..."

Silver nods "Unfortunately..."

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long, writers block and helping friends and my host's family slowed me dow\n but I have returned! Huzzah!

The argument

All seven girls (And tortoise) sit in a circle, holding cards "... I bet two pistachios" Rainbow says, sliding the legumes forward.

Babs grins "Ah call ya bet, an' raise ya three."

Applebloom and Silver fold.

Diamond smiles "I stand."

Scootaloo and Sweetie nod in unison.

"Okay chumps, show 'em"

Scootaloo and Rainbow place their cards behind them and pull their shirts up.

"Not like that, ya morons!" Applebloom yells.

Both girls reluctantly lower their shirts and reveal their hands.

"Two pairs." Scootaloo says.

"Three of a kind." Rainbow says, grinning.

Sweetie grins "Flush!"

Diamond frowns "Darn, all I have is this... four of a kind!! All aces."

Tank taps the floor and shows his cards. Royal flush.

Everyone groans, the tortoise's pile of nuts almost as tall as his body.

"How on earth are we losin' to a turtle?!" Silver yells, running her fingers through her hair.

"Tortoise!" Rainbow yells, rubbing his shell affectionately "He's got an awesome poker face."

Babs nods "In dat he don't move 'is face at all, den yeah."

Applebloom grins "Yeah, he may be slow on foot but he sure is fast in smarts."

Silver yawns "How long has the generator been going?"

Sweetie checks her watch "About ten hours... which exceeds my expectations by at least six. I mean, the field generator is supposed to be energy efficient but not like this!"

Diamond cocks her head "Isn't that good? That means that when it's in use it'll be useful for hiding for long periods."

Sweetie shakes her head "I know, but it doesn't work when in motion so... what could be causing it to last longer?"

"Ah'm no smarty pants, but from wha' I understand, th' capacitors are all in a single connected circle wit' opposin' poles every other one, meanin' dat ya may have accidentally created a storin' power source dat creates an oscillatin' series of charges dat rather den bein' lost, are slowly discharged as energy from th' engine is captured by the capacitors pushes 'em out. But ya'd need a great way ta disperse th' heat."

Sweetie nods numbly "How... how do you know all that?"

"Degree in robotics and electrical engineering. My dad made me get it when ah was 13."

Silver rolls her eyes "Unfortunately. She could be using her energy and mind to making machines and the like but instead uses it to get herself shot at."

Babs grins "It helps me get in an' out of high security places."

Silver groans "Yes. She's stolen weapons, rations, experimental technology, and somehow, what looks like a functioning space ship."

Sweetie cocks her head "What model?"

"Uh... SP-SC 062 ah think."

Sweetie grins "That's the Rolls-Royce of space vessels!!"

Diamond shrugs "I'd prefer a type 40 but that's just me."

Rainbow scoffs "Why explore space when there's so much to find under the water? I mean, we could find Atlantis! Merpeople!"

"Aliens!" Scootaloo pipes up "Tiny glowing red eyes floating in the abyss that are monitoring humanity..."

Silver groans "Why is it that I'm the only one who isn't crazy, a nerd, or both?"

Applebloom shrugs "Personally, ah don't listen so much as spit back out what ah did understand. Works easier than actually listenin' an' understandin'"

Silver sighs "That works for you and- hey!"

Scootaloo grabs Silver's glasses and puts them on "Hey, I can see out of these... I thought these were prescription."

Silver takes them "They don't have lenses. They're just for show. Guys find glasses attractive so I wear them without lenses. I wear contacts for my vision."

Diamond snorts "And you call me the otaku. Next you'll have a pony tai- ha! You already have one! Oh my gosh, you're a walking kawaii meme!"

Sweetie giggles "She totally is! All she needs is a nekomata or something and she'll have every anime fan in the state swooning!"

VP Luna looked up from her multiplex movie screen, a girl riding on an electric guitar paused midflight "I... I have the sudden feeling... that I need to get to Ponyville..."

Silver glares at them "I am not cute!"

Diamond clutches her chest "MY HEART!"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Drama queen."

Babs shrugs "I'm gonna go get some beer."

Rainbow stands "I'll take you, I'm of drinking age."

"So am I." Babs replies

Rainbow laughs "You're not twenty one!"

Babs roll her eyes and produces an ID "I'm four years older den th' others, dat's why I have so many guns."

Rainbow turns to Silver "She telling the truth?"

Silver nods "She's really young looking."

Rainbow shrugs "'At's cool. I need to go into town to get a new tracksuit and exercise my everything. Maybe I'll do free diving"

Scootaloo grins "And I can spot you! I'll go get the anchor and the stuck cast iron locks and chains!!"

Silver stares at Applebloom "Shouldn't you stop her?"

Sweetie shrugs "I'm going to go too, I have my submarine."

Applebloom grins "See? Nothin' to worry about."

Applebloom lays back in her bed, tired "Chores after tryin' to keep my friends alive... takes a lot outta me..."

Applejack walks in and lays next to her "What were they doin' this time?"

"Divin' off the pier, seein' how far down they can go before needin' air."

Applejack groans "Why are most of our friends complete morons?"

"Scootaloo is Rainbow's lil' sis. Ah don't know about the others though"

Applejack hums in thought "Pinkie's Pinkie Pie, Twilight is pretty smart, so's Rarity an' Flutters. Rainbow's as smart as a sack of mashed taters, an' I'm only good with practical things..."

Applebloom sighs "Same here, Babs is super smart apparently, Diamond is a... she's smart ah think. Sweetie's prolly in that club Big Mac's in, what's it called? MENSA?"

Applejack nods "For th' really smart, like Twilight Smart an' more."

"Silver is... ah'm not exactly sure, she might be like Twilight an' just book smart, an' Scoots is smart when she needs to be, which is avoidin' police or somethin'. An' me? Ah'm just like you sis, practical."

Applejack, grins "Eeyup, that's us Apple girls, practical an' meant to stand up to nature."

"An what about Apple boys?"

"Loud an' strong... or quiet an' strong like Big Mac."

Scootaloo sputters, sticky with sweat "Who's bright idea was it to drink booze upside down?

"Yours" Babs replies, reclining on a bench.

Sweetie shrugs, drinking her tea "I told you that it wouldn't work. But does anyone listen to Sweetie Belle? Noooo..."

Scootaloo swings and dismounts from the tree branch "I listen, but you're usually telling me I'll get hurt and I don't like that negative attitude."

Rainbow sets up a number of bottles in a row "Okay, who thinks I can knock all of these down without missing?"

Babs and Scootaloo raise their hands, Sweetie and Silver ignore the spectacle and hope there aren't any hospital visits.

"So... are you and Babs a thing?" Sweetie asks out of the blue, causing Silver to choke on her spit.

"Wh-what?! What makes you think that?" Silver asks, her face flush.

Sweetie shrugs "Well, You and her have been living together for a few years... she's a cool person and you look like the type who would enjoy the company of rough and tumble types like Babs."

Silver removes her glasses and rubs between her eyes "No... we're just friends and that's beside the point considering we're both straight."

Sweetie sniffs Silver's hair and skin "Uh... what the hell are you doing?"

"Smelling your pheromones... grassy... okay, I believe you!"

Silver stares "What? Of course I smell like grass, we're in a grassy park!"

Sweetie shakes her head "I know, but straight girls smell like freshly mowed grass... or earthy."

"And you base this on...?"

"Science and biological research. It's true! Now... Scoots! What does Babs' pheromones smell like?!"

Scootaloo pauses her cheering and sniffs Babs's shoulder, much to the girl's confusion "Burnt leaves!"

Sweetie smiles conspiratorially "She's Bi."

Silver closes her book "How did you come across this... olfactory system of orientation?"

Sweetie regales her with the history, and Babs stares at Silver "Whattaya think dey're talkin' 'bout?"

Scootaloo shrugs "Probably about how you're bisexual... or how I was able to smell it."

Babs blushes "Wh-what'reya talkin' about?! I ain't..." Scootaloo turns her towards Silver Spoon, deep in conversation with Sweetie and Babs' blush deepens "I... uh... muh..."

Scootaloo pulls her head back around, frowning "Sorry to say but... she's straight as an arrow."

Babs sighs, biting her thumb "I know... she told me when I first moved in wit' her."

Rainbow sits on the other side of Babs, concerned "What happened?"

Babs sighs "It was a year an' a half ago..."

Apartment mate needed
Must be a straight female at least 18 years or older, must split rent, and have steady employment.
Further restrictions and rules can be inquired upon showing up at the following address: ...

Babs shrugged, cases to her side as she looked up at the relatively tall building "Well, ain't got time to gawk."

After a number of flights of stairs, Babs knocked on the last door of the top floor "Hey! I'm here 'bout the ad!"

Several locks click and a slit between the door and the frame opened, three sturdy looking chains still locked in place "Oh? I was about to remove the ad since no one answer- Babs? Babs Seed?"

Babs nodded slowly "Do I know ya?"

The door closes and the sound of the chains moving and dropping followed by the door reopening.

Standing in the doorway is a slender, pale girl with thick light blue glasses and silver hair held in a braided ponytail Babs rubs her forehead and claps her hands as the name comes to her "Silver Spoon right?"

Silver nods "It's good to see you! I had meant to see if you wanted to hang but I kept putting it off, thinking you'd be pissed at me for what happened in Ponyville.."

Babs shakes her head "Nah, we're cool. We was kids then an' as far as I'm concerned, it never happened. So you th' one who put out th' ad?"

Silver nods and beckons Babs in "Yeah, I just arrived here about a week ago. Well, in this apartment. I just got a job at the college of art but unfortunately, the school doesn't pay for rent unless they garnish your paycheck so... I needed someone to share the rent."

Babs shrugs "S'cool. Anyways, why did ya want a straight girl anyways? Seemed like a predator thing to do."

Silver grins nervously "To be honest... I noticed that when they first ran it... I tried to change it but they wouldn't let me."

Babs grins "Guess I don't need dese right now." She pulls a .38 a .22 out of her back pockets "Boss lady says ta never leave home widout a piece or two."

Silver stares at the guns with a mix of curiosity and disbelief "Those are police issue... how-"

Babs walks over to the couch "I work fer a PI. She's th' kinda type from those... 'No-air'-"

"'Noir'?" Silver corrects.

"Yeah, dose. Don't smoke or drink... well, n'less 'er girlfriend's 'round... den it's time to get out 'cause she ain't got a problem wit' PDAs if ya get me."

Silver shrugs "That's cool. So, down to business. Answer these questions please..."

Babs picks up one of her guns and cocks the hammer, pointing at herself "Shoot."

Silver gives her a flat look "Are you straight?"

Babs nods "Last I checked."

"Do you have a criminal record?"

"Nope, well, never been caught."

Silver raises an eyebrow "Do you have any allergies?"

"Uhhh... 'sides police an' duck dander? None?"

"Duck... dander?" Silver asks skeptically.

"Yup, can't get near waterfowl widout sneezin'." Babs replies calmly "Found dat out when I went back ta Ponyville."

Silver notes this "Last one, do you have any other questions?"

Babs shakes her head "Nah, I'm good. So, when do I move in?"

Silver nods to the bags still in the hall "How about now?"

(Ten days later)

Babs rolls out of bed and walks to the bathroom when a whimper comes from behind the door. Babs slows and looks through the crack in the door and all the blood rushes to her head at the sight within.

Silver, fresh from the shower, sat on the toilet lid and gently fingered herself, stifling her moans by biting on her ponytail that shimmered with saliva and water from the shower. She moaned into her hair as she slipped another finger inside of herself, her blush intensifying as she slowly slipped another- the fourth, Babs noticed- and her hips bucked as she slowed down, obviously denying herself release "Mmmnnhh... th-three..." she moaned weakly, sweat sliding down her glistening skin, catching the light from above the mirror.

Babs bit her lip as she watched, trying to mimic her roommate's delicate movements as best she could.

Silver's hips bucked forward, a short squeak escaping her clenched teeth. Babs moaned too, biting her lip to the point of almost drawing blood.

Silver, oblivious to her audience, shifted forward a little, widening her legs to allow the index and thumb of the other hand spread her slick lips open before slipping, with a groan/scream, her thumb in with the other fingers of her first hand in.

Babs arched her back, slumping to the floor, her own fingers trembling in excitement "H-how... h-her who-whole h-hand??" she stutters silently, her eyes nearly slits as her own delayed climax tried to charge through the wall of her will.

Silver panted in ecstasy, her whole body rigid as the last of her hand slipped in, her slim wrist sticking out of her snatch "H-haaahh..." Slowly she closed her legs around her wrist, jaw open and tongue licking the air.

Babs' tongue slowly wormed its' way out from behind her lips and hung slack on her cheek, eyes glazed in pleasure.

Silver slowly flexed her fingers inside of herself, her other hand fondling her modest chest and she threw her head back, silent moans flowing from her throat as she came, spurring Babs to finish herself off, eyes rolling back and shuddering in pleasure.

Silver sat still before removing her hand "Five... five fingers, five times... now that's a good base line. Okay... can't feel my legs..."

Babs' mind roared to life like an apache helicopter Base line?! That's without raising her stamina?!

Silver groaned as she lifted herself from the toilet "Ugh, I hope I didn't wake Babs up..."

Babs scrambled back to her room, throwing her sheets over herself and pretending to sleep.

She heard the near silent steps of Silver walking past her room "Urgh... good thing today is my day off..." Babs remarked, her legs feeling like lead weights.

"An'... from den on I kept waking up early to try an' catch her doin' it and... she did every other day. It became a ritual, I guess... soon after I started fantasizin' 'bout her stickin' her hand inside me... her long fingers probin' me like one of dose aliens ya read about... her whole arm snakin' up my body an'... what?"

Scootaloo and Rainbow make cutting motions at their necks, slowly stepping away from Babs.

Babs blushed bright red "She's... she's right behind me, ain't she?" she bends her neck back and stares into the brightly blushing face of Silver Spoon "Ahhhh... Fuck me with a rusty knife..."

Silver's face is unreadable, as if unsure to be angry or mortified "You... you... you..."

Babs bows her head, pulling a berretta from her shirt and offers it to Silver "Try not ta kill me..."

Silver shuts her eyes "Why is it always that you want to be shot as punishment?"

Babs grins weakly, her eyes in shadows "I always feel better after shootin' somethin'."

Silver laughs weakly "No... that's because you're a brute... and an idiot... I'm going to go somewhere and think."

Before Babs can stop her, Silver is walking down the park's path, hands in her skirt pockets.

Babs sighs "Ugh... I am a complete and utter Dummkopf..."

Silver sighs, reclining in her secret hidey-hole "I can't believe nobody found this place... It's a pipe castle!"

Sitting on top of a foundation of steel girders planted in the earth, Silver Spoon sat on a throne made of repurposed crates, the water-proof PVC ceiling dark but pristine. The gate, made of bronze and steel piping, stood undisturbed and closed by all but Silver Spoon "I wonder if I should see who built this place..."

The sound of fingers snapping followed by a shocked gasp "What the- what on earth are you doing in my house?!"

Silver looked up at the source of the voice and saw a strange man with yellow eyes and blood red irises of different sizes glaring at her in mischief. On the man was a patchwork of clothing, some looking like they were grabbed from different eras, others that looked like they were old oily rags. The man had unkempt white hair and a raggedy goatee that he stroked while looking at her "Well? Why are you in my house?"

Silver blinked "This is your house? It's a castle made of pipes!"

The man rolls his eyes "And I built it. This is the third great castle of the lord and god of chaos and disorder. I laid the ground work, the foundation, and the walls! All by hand! And do you have any idea how long it too to dig and reinforce the bottomless ball pit of eternal Pink eye?!"

Silver blinks "The what?"

He waves his hand dismissively "Never mind. Anyways, why are you here?"

Silver sighs "I... I found out that my roommate fell in love with me... or maybe the idea of me."

The man sits, a chaise lounge with a confused Persian sitting on it appearing from nowhere. "I understand that kind of situation. In my professional opinion-"

"Are you a doctor?"

"No, I played one on TV though." he replies, grinning "Anyways, she-"

"How did you know it was a she?" Silver asks.

"Because reasons. Anyways, how do you feel about this? Act as if you weren't straight... tell me what you think of her."

Silver pauses "She's... she's got an effortlessly slim figure... she knows how to fix everything we own... and she always has my back no matter what... she's like a sister I guess?"

He strokes his goatee and grins "Well, It sounds like you find her friendship to be well worth the pain of her affection. Would you sever that connection in order to preserve your own conscious? Is that what you want?"

Silver shakes her head "No! I want her to... to stop liking me that much... oh god, I'm a horrible person..."

The man shakes his head, a small frown on his face "No, you are a good person, the fact that you did not strike out against her, berate her, or show disgust. That may mean little to you, but to her, it's a ray of light that she will hang onto. I once became so jealous about my first and best friend befriending someone else that I nearly ended that other person's life... not one of my finest moments, but I learned something that night. Never become jealous of your friends or their friends, and never, EVER act out of disgust or hate. I know that may not be... relevant to your situation, but it's a lesson I've taken to heart. Now, how about you get out of the pipe castle down in the dump, and go and apologize, who knows, it could just be infatuation or... or you may be afraid of reciprocating her feelings. Of hurting her because you don't know what to do... I don't know what will happen, all I know is that you need to go to her."

Silver looks up at him, eyes wide "Who are you?"

He grins mischievously "I am nobody of import. Just a spirit of discord and chaos still learning the intricacies of friendship. Now go, the longer you wait, the more strain she'll endure holding onto that ray of hope."

Silver slides off the pipe throne and nods to the man "Thank you!"

The man grins and snaps his fingers, the lounge and Persian disappearing in a puff of pink smoke "Well, I think this is a good reason to write to Fluttershy." The man snaps his fingers again and a piece of stationary and a ballpoint pen appear in his hands "'Dearest Fluttershy, how are you? I'm doing good and feeling well; I learned the difference when I met a very unique man at a party. I'm actually thinking about getting accordion lessons from Pinkie Pie consequently...'"

Babs polishes her semi-automatic silently on the Boutique floor. Scootaloo grabs her wrist "Babs, stop. You've been polishing the muzzle for an hour now."

Babs doesn't hear and stops, staring at her reflection in the polished metal and sighs, setting it down and picking up the hammer, polishing it.

Scootaloo shrugs "I can't figure out how to get her out of it. I've even tried dumping water on her. She just won't react."

Sweetie sighs "Oh how it must hurt to have a broken heart. I hope I never feel it with anyone..."

Rainbow groans, throwing a book across the room "Ugh, why are girls so dramatic? Why can't they just spit out a tooth, pull up their sissy pants and get back on track?"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "You're a girl too Rainbow."

Rainbow blinks and unzips her track suit, looking between her legs "Huh, when did that happen?"

Sweetie groans and walks over to Babs "Hey, I know it hurts, but you need to move on. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like but I know it's crushing."

Babs ignores her and continues her polishing, silent and unaware.

The door to the boutique opens slowly, a sweaty, pale hand opening it "Babs? Are you here?"

For the first time since she arrived, Babs looked up "Silver?"

Silver Spoon walks in, face flush with sweat "I... I'm sorry I reacted like that..."

Babs shakes her head "No, I'm sorry for doin' it-" Silver holds up a hand "Don't you dare apologize... is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

Sweetie nods "Go to the back room, just mind the spools of fabric."

Both girls walk towards it and when the door closes, Scootaloo and Rainbow grab cups from the kitchen and put them against the door to listen.

Or they would have if Sweetie hadn't used her static pause ray and dragged them out of the boutique "Let's go you two."

Babs rubs her arm nervously "S-so what did ya wanna talk about?"

Silver sighs "I... I wanted to say I'm sorry. You are too dear a friend to reject for something that isn't your fault. I... I'm so, so sorry. If you can ever forgive me..."

Babs steps forward and cups Silver's chin "'Ey, I'm too tough to get hurt by dat... okay, dat's a lie. I was crushed."

Silver's eyes water but Babs wipes at her eyes gently "Now don't ya cry. Ya may look adorable when ya cry, but don't cry over me. I know everythin' 'bout ya... even dat little fetish ya have 'bout original vampires..." she shrugs her jacket off and pulls a butterfly knife from her pocket.

Silver blushes intensely "N-no... don't you da-"

Babs pulls one side of her shirt over her shoulder, exposing her stitched shoulder "I am... why else do ya think th' stitches break so often? I'm-" she turns the blade under the stitches and winces "-Breakin' 'em to get ya close... so I can smell ya... an' ta try an' get used to th' pain but... never do."

Silver watches paralyzed as Babs presses the blade into the exposed skin, drawing blood "First I thought it was sadism... but you like blood, don't ya? You're fascinated by-" Silver jumps and presses her lips onto the wound, her tongue licking hungrily, teeth dragging across it.

Babs winces "Ow... dat feels... kinda nice..."

Silver, lost in her excitement, presses her canines into Babs' shoulder, moaning in ecstasy as the taste of iron sparks on her tongue.

Babs chuckles "Uh... don't drain me... kinda need blood ta live ya know?"

Silver removes her mouth, beads of blood already forming along the cut "I-I'm so sorry! I just..."

Babs grins "Eh, don't matter ta me. I've already came once."

Silver stares at her "What?"

Babs blushes "Uh... I may have read th' same stuff an' imagined myself as th' victim an' you as th' Vamp..."

Silver blinks, blushing nervously "I... but in those most of them..."

"Die? Yeh, I usually stop 'round dat time. So come on, I still got a bit left in me."

Silver cautiously licks up the dripping blood, moaning as she snakes her tongue up, blood pooling on her tongue before stopping at the wound, closing her mouth and digging her canines in again. Babs shudders as she licks up the blood, sucking it hungrily "Uh... glad I chose my shoulder... it'd be weird explainin' th' hickey..."

Silver nods and pulls Babs to a sitting position.

Babs moans, muscles spasming "Uhh... wow... feel.. warmer somehow..."

Silver grins, her eyes glazed with lust.

Diamond Tiara closes her laptop, sending the latest chapter of fanfiction out into the web "Whoo! Another one done!"

Author's Note

Yeah, I'm not dead! (yet)

So this is mostly centered around Babs and Silver, with an appearance by Discord. I figured that Silver would have an odd fetish to counteract her usually normal persona, and I came up with her blood fetish. Kind of deep when you think about it... taking the life of another into yourself.

Anyways, hope you liked it and now I need to go and break a melon with a bat.

The chilling

Applebloom sets the final barrel in the back of Big Mac's truck and waves to him, kicking the tailgate up.

It drives away, and Applebloom unties her bow-turned doo-rag and sighs in contentment Normal... just what ah needed.

"HI~!" someone yells from above her.

Applebloom groans and rubs the bridge of her nose Spoke too soon...

She looks up and something falls towards her, a human-shaped object "... Shit" Applebloom extends her arms and catches the falling person, the glimmer of the metal jetpack blinding her for a moment "Sweetie, stop literally droppin- mm!"

Diamond lowers her neck, grinning at Applebloom "Gotcha~"

Applebloom shakes her head and glares at Diamond "What the hay?!"

Diamond rolls her eyes "What? Just because I wasn't in the ninth castle doesn't mean that I can't drop in unannounced."

Applebloom sighs and relaxes her arms, dropping diamond who squeaks "An' ah just dropped you unannounced."

Diamond glares and unclips the belts holding her to the jetpack "That wasn't funny."

Applebloom grins "Then why am ah laughin' inside?"

"Because you're an uncivilized mud-girl."

Applebloom's grin widens to sinister proportions and she hefts Diamond over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes "Wh-where are you taking me?"

Applebloom walks off into the orchard, ignoring Diamond's questions and flailing.

There it is... heh, ah'm gonna catch hell for this... but so worth it. Applebloom thinks to herself and lifts Diamond off her shoulder and holds her like she was a loaf of bread from the oven, her legs and shoulders dangling.

Diamond moves her head to look under her and her eyes shrink to pinpricks "Y-you wouldn't... that's not right! no fair! No fair! I call Hacks! HACKS!!"

Applebloom grins and moves on of her arms to cup Diamond's wide-eyed face "Why of course... ah would." she tosses Diamond's shrieking body into the large mud pool full of mostly dirt and bits of vegetation.

The splash nearly gets Applebloom who jumps back and starts belly laughing "To-totally worth it!!"

Diamond lies face-down limp, un responsive to the laughter.

Applebloom's laughing turns to giggles as she checks on her friend "Diamond? You oka- whoa!" Diamond's hand shoots up and grabs Applebloom's shirt, pulling her into the pool as well.

Applebloom jerks out of it, sputtering "Augh! Ah had my mouth open!"

Diamond laughs "Serves you right. Now we're both mud-people... or mud Demons! My bite is deadly!"

Applebloom laughs "That's from some kind of show, ain't it?"

Diamond nods, wiping a bit of mud from her lips "Yeah, Chronicles of Riddickulous. Pretty good, poor CGI early on though."

Applebloom sighs "Well, we're covered in mud, you wanna go to your house an' get clean?"

"Why? I can just borrow some of Applejack's clothing and wash here."

Applebloom starts to imagine her sister's reaction and shrugs "Sure, let's ask first though, otherwise she'll think Rainbow got in again."

Applejack yawns, scratching her head "Ya know, you'd think ya would try somethin' new."

Rainbow, pinned under Applejack's body, grins "Hey, what can I say, I like the tried and true. Like when the Flim Flam brothers came the first time and we had the cider contest. They lost because we stayed cool and kept to old standbys."

Applejack looks at Rainbow "Well said."

Rainbow shrugs "Hey, I have more than a awesome body and a gorgeous personality."

Applejack rolls her eyes "An' modest to boot."

"Exactly!"

Applebloom tosses a rock at Applejack's window, prompting her to carry Rainbow by the collar to the window "Whatcha need?"

"we were wonderin' if Daimond could borrow a pair of your clothes! We fell into a mud pool and her house is too far away." Applebloom answers.

"Ask if they had mud wrestling!" Rainbow yells, struggling to escape her tracksuit.

Daimond snaps her fingers "I should've though of that!"

The Apple sisters level flat looks at their companions and shake their head slowly "Yeah, that's fine! I'll put 'em outside my door."

The window closes and Rainbow makes a pleading face "Mercy?"

Applejack grins wickedly "Ah think some time in th' empty press is what ya need."

Rainbow starts writhing "NO! I'm claustrophobic! Stop! NOOOOOO!!!"

Applebloom sighs, pulling her muddy shirt over her head.

Diamond, having already undressed, looks around the bathroom "There isn't enough room in here..."

Applebloom shrugs "So ya wanna go first or somethin'?"

Diamond shakes her head "Isn't there an outdoor shower?"

Applebloom nods "But that's mostly to cool off or somethin'. 'Course, we have bar soap out there too..."

Diamond smiles "I can go without shampooing..."

Applebloom shrugs and grabs two towels and follows but pauses and punches the shower curtain, hitting someone "Stay outta th' showers Scootaloo."

Scootaloo stumbles out of the tub, holding her nose "Dubly noded... where Brainbow?"

"Last ah saw, bein' dragged by my sister."

Scootaloo takes off, still holding her nose.

"Perverts..." Applebloom mutters.

Diamond stares up at the long strip of shower heads attached to the back of the house itself "Does this only do cold?"

Applebloom points to a red metal knob "No, what kind of hicks do you think we are?"

"Muddy ones." Diamond replies before both erupt into laughter "Yeh, ya got me there."

Diamond turns the knob and a cascade of water comes down onto her, eliciting a jerk backwards and a shrill shriek.

Applebloom shivers "Sheesh, are all fancy-type girls so... shrill?"

Diamond, looking like a kitten that had a bucket of water thrown on it, glares at her "Th-th-that's n-n-not fuh-funny..."

Applebloom chuckles "Anyways, it should be ready..."

Diamond extends a single finger to feel the water and pulls it back "HOT!!"

Applebloom chuckles and turns the other knob and cups some of the water and pours it onto Diamond's head "Better?"

Diamond nods and stands, still shivering and jumps under the water, sighing "Perfect... where's the soap?"

Applebloom tosses a bar to her but Diamond flinches and ducks, the bar soaring over her head.

Diamond blushes "I'll get it!"

Applebloom rolls her eyes but stops, grinning deviously Well, this might make her forget about th' puddle...

Diamond had bent over to pick up the soap bar (Something you never do. Ever. Seriously, some one will kick you. Or worse... inject you with Sodium Pentothal)

It was at the moment before Applebloom struck that this universal rule occurred to Diamond Oh cra- "AH!" she threw her head back, feeling Applebloom's fingers on the small of her back "Hey, you okay?"

Diamond nods and jerks up to stand, the bar in her hand "Yeah... some wind got me..."

Applebloom shrugs and takes the bar "You get my back, ah get yours?"

Diamond nods and stands under the shower head Ahhh... that's nice, though... mud might ruin my hair, but whatever, always wanted to use an outdoor shower...

Applebloom walked up behind her and grabbed Diamond's breasts "Hey, are these things gettin' bigger?"

Diamond moans, her body rising in temerature "Nuaah... no... stop it... someone'll hear..."

Applebloom grins "Oh? Ah thought ya liked danger."

Diamond bites her lip and breaks away "I'm not... I mean, I do... but... not here..."

Applebloom fake pouts "Oh? If you're fine with in th' middle of a store, why not behind th' house?"

Diamond pauses and relents "Okay... you win..."

Applebloom grins and motions for Diamond to turn around.

Diamond does, but with a little apprehension "I thought you wanted to get my back..."

Applebloom nods and pulls Diamond into a hug, rubbing the soap into Diamond's back while she dances her fingers across the small of Diamond's back again "Ah am... don't mean ah can't enjoy doin' it."

Diamond's breath hitches suddenly, because someone was watching.

"... Well shoot, can't use this ta get more from Rich... carry on young'uns" Granny Smith says, walking away.

Applebloom looks behind her just in time to see her grandmother leave "... Ah suddenly don't feel so good..."

Diamond nods and steps back from Applebloom "We... should just finish washing and get out of Dodge."

Applebloom glares "That ain't funny."

Diamond giggles "Yes it was, anyways..." she steps into the stream of water from the shower heads "Thanks for getting my back... and then some..."

Applebloom blushes and passes the soap to Diamond "You get clean, ya got dirtier than me anyways."

Rainbow Dash presses her back to the wall in front of Applebloom's room, a plain pair of panties in her teeth Okay Dash, you can switch these with the ones AJ gave them... and all I need to do is slip the remote into Bloom's pants... heheheh... I'm a fucking genius.

She grabs the plain panties sitting on top of the folded outfit and stuffs them into her tracksuit before placing the ones she had in her mouth in their place "Perfect!"

Looking both ways, she darts into Applebloom's room and opens the window, removing the barrier set to keep Scootaloo out "Squirt owes me big... though she did set me free so... meh, GERONIMOOO!!!"

She jumps out the window and pulls a cord on her hip and wings unfurl from her tracksuit, turning it into a gliding suit "WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!"

Applebloom loops her belt around her waist but notices something in her pocket "What... huh, wonder what this does...?"

Diamond finishes her braiding and sighs "You know... so far today has been normal. Must be because Sweetie Belle isn't around?"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah think it happens whenever th' three of us're together."

Diamond chuckles "Maybe... I wonder what Babs and Silvy are up to..."

Babs stumbles out of the bathroom, her face pale "Ugh... need some juice..."

Silver follows, face red as an apple "I'm so sorry, I lost control-"

Babs shakes her head "Nah, shoulda stopped ya... gonna go lay down... fer a minute."

Silver bites her lip, the taste of blood lingering "Oh god am I glad I'm a compulsive tooth brusher... juice... need to find some juice..."

Sweetie Belle looks up from her videogame "Hey Babs, why do you look so pale?"

"Ah was th' usual. 'Less I'm runnin', fixin', or shootin', I'm clumsy."

Sweetie nods "I understand, Rarity says I'd lose my head if Sweetie hadn't put a magnetic swivel cup my neck."

Babs sticks her pinkie in her ear and wipes the wax on her pants "Come again?"

"Oh! My head is kept in place by a magnetic swivel cup, it keeps it from falling off and lets me move my head around like a human's, though... it's still detachable..."

Silver walks in, a glass of orange juice in her hands "What's going on?"

Babs shrugs "Iono, but if ya figure it out, could'ya tell me?"

Silver's brow knits in confusion "Okay...?"

Sweetie walks into the room with a controller in her hands "Okay! Pee break is over! Prepare to lose Bot!"

Babs and Silver look from one Sweetie to the other in confusion "What in the name of Siddhartha is going on?!"

The Sweetie sitting on the couch cocks her head "We're playing Super Mareio Grand Prix?"

Babs gasps and whips out a pistol and points it at the first Sweetie's head "ROBOT!"

She rolls her eyes and plucks the gun from Bab's hands with her thumb and index fingers and throws it over her shoulder "Silver, have you ever noticed how people's scientific curiosity diminishes when there are guns in their hands?"

The second Sweetie laughs "Nice reference, Sweetie Bot."

Bot grins "I try. Now... I WIN!!"

Sweetie's jaw drops "Hey! I wasn't paying attention!!"

Babs stares at the gun on the ground in shock "H-how..."

Bot grins shyly and pulls her head off her shoulders "Eheheh... I told you, I'm an android."

Silver shivers and scoots away from the headless Bot "H-how is this possible?! R-robots aren't... they're just stories or programs!"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "They do exist, but Bot is different, she doesn't have the rules in her program."

Babs jumps and recovers her gun, leveling at Bot's blinking head "Sweetie... Th' rules're supposed to be written inta every Artificial Intelligence, that's why dey're th' laws!"

Bot puts her head back on her shoulders "Haven't you ever seen I AI? The only way to ensure cohabitation is to have the rules expunged. I thought that you wouldn't be an Anti Ferro-Sapient."

Babs grits her teeth "Usually, but ah still don't trust bots, dey give me th' creeps."

Bot sighs "What would it take to prove that I'm not evil?"

Silver shivers "Sweetie, I'm all for philosophical debates, but this? This is something that I can't even begin to rationalize."

"Come on Sweetie, let's just play. Everyone's afraid of me..."

Babs lowers her gun a little "Sorry... too many hours readin' robot uprisin' books. So... do ya think your alive? I mean... do ya think ya have a... soul?"

"Of course I do. I can rationalize abstract ideas, think for myself, seek the company of others, and I feel empathy. I'm just as human as you are, but I just happen to be mechanical. The brain is just an organic computer, why should a synthetic one be any different?" she scowls "Oh come on! I thought we disabled Blue Eggs!"

"Probably just hanging ou- Eeep!!" Diamond jumps with a squeak, a soft buzzing emanating from her panties.

"What's th' matter?" Applebloom asks, putting the remote in her pocket.

"I think there's a vibrator in my pants..." Diamond replies, shuddering.

Applebloom pulls the remote from her pocket and turns the knob. Diamond relaxes her body and falls onto the bed "Scootaloo's doing?"

"Probably Dash." Applebloom says, tossing the remote to Diamond "Here, hold onto this."

Diamond nods and Applebloom looks through her dresser "Wanna borrow a pair of mine 'til ya get home?"

She nods and quickly changes, stuffing the vibrator panties into her pocket "No sense in throwing away a fine product."

Applebloom rolls her eyes and lays next to Diamond "So whattaya wanna do now?"

Diamond blushes "Well... I kinda have an idea... but you'll say no..."

Applebloom quirks an eyebrow "What is it?"

"Uhm... does your family still brand livestock?"

"... Not recently, we just chip 'em, why?"

Diamond bites her lip "W-well... I kinda-"

Applebloom shivers "No, ah know what your gonna say, an' there is no way in hell that ah'm doin' that to another human bein'. Least of all you."

Diamond whimpers "I knew it... I'm a freak..."

"Can't disagree there."

"But is it so wrong? I think it'll be better than getting a tattoo!" Diamond pleads.

Applebloom shakes her head "No. Ah ain't brandin' ya. No way, no how."

"Please? I'll do anything!! I would do it myself but I don't have any branding irons..."

"ain't nothin' ya can do. Now jus'-"

"But I want to!! Please, I'm begging you!!"

Applebloom glares at her "An' ah won't do it! Brandin' people ain't right!"

Diamond pouts "You're mean..."

"Ah ain't mean. How 'bout this, if ya can convince at least one of our friends that it's a good idea, ah'll do it... an' Scoots don't count."

Diamond grins "I can do that!"

"Nope, not happenin'" Babs replies, bluntly.

Silver shakes her head in amazement "No, why on Earth are you so... strange?"

"I dunno Diamond... I have to agree with the others and say no." Sweetie mutters, twiddling her fingers nervously.

Diamond's face drops "Awww..."

"See, told ya they wouldn't like it, 'sides, can't have your perfect skin gettin' too sensitive." Applebloom says, running a finger up Diamond's back.

Diamond stiffens "Mmmph... tease."

Sweetie Bot enters with a platter of sandwiches in one hand, a bucket of ice and several two-litre sodas in the other "We're out of Dr. Pony."

Applebloom takes th bucket and platter "Thanks for doin' this Bot."

Sweetie bot shrugs "Kind of the reason I was built, so that Sweetie doesn't start a pandemic in the kitchen."

"That only happen half a dozen times! All of you and the FDA won't let it go!" Sweetie groans.

"Half-"

"She made a new strain of swine flu makin' bacon, skin-petrifyin' fungus when she wanted to make a mushroom pizza, and a whole bunch of other things." Applebloom replies, biting into her sandwich.

Babs turns to Sweetie "How Did'ya manage that an' then some?!"

"I can't cook, okay?! I can build a cold fusion reactor out of an old deepfreeze and an MRI machine, but I can't make toast!" Sweetie yells, embarrassed.

"Or get water from th' tap an it turns into a chunk of burnt carbon. Sweetie, your cookin' makes th' laws of physics cry."

Sweetie crosses her arms and pouts.

Diamond giggles "I guess that everyone has a chink in their armor, yours is just cooking... though if the casserole monster you made that one time is anything to go by, you could use it to wage war on evil! Or good... up to you."

Sweetie smiles "Yeah... I couldn't do spandex though, I couldn't stand the breeze."

"Hey... any of you see Scoots?"

Everyone shakes teir head and Applebloom sighs "She's prolly fine."

"I AM NOT OKAY!!!" Scootaloo yells, tied up and stuck to a tree via sap.

Angel Bunny, aided by his translator and exo-suit (Guess who built that) "Silence! You will be quiet and act as compliant bait for the Bone Renderer."

"Probably" Silver agrees "Wonder what's on Discovery Kids... Hey! Mini-Equines is on! And it's the five year episode! Remember this?"

Sweetie and Bot wipe their eyes "Y-yeah... let's watch it."

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait, surgery sucks like space. And not even a hundredth as awesome.

Know what's awesome? The newest episode!

I am still crying, and I've seen it twice! I mean... No spoilers! Sorries, watch it yourself!

Now... I have the power to write. FORWARD!!!

In memoriam of MFM's Crusade into the deep caves of anonymity, for this writer's work has lost the lustre it was known for.

The sleep-over

Sweetie pokes Scootaloo's cheek "I think I broke her..."

Babs grins "You owe me twenty bucks Spoony"

Silver spoon groans and pulls out a bill "I thought for sure she's be straight..."

Diamond ignores the spectacle, instead whistling towards Silver "Can I borrow some of your hair ties?"

Silver walks over to her bag and pulls out 5 red loops "Here, keep 'em and- why is it three fishtail braids?"

"I'm making these three into one big braided braid, your hair was never long enough for me to do it and the only other people in town are Miss Philharmonica and Fluttershy. Fluttershy is so flighty that if I tried, she'd run away and Miss Philharmonica is always hanging with her sister Vinyl"

Applebloom coughs "'Sister'? Are ya sure?"

Diamond nods "Well, Vinyl was adopted by the Philharmonica family after her parents died in an attempt to cash in on life insurance about a decade ago. Why do you ask?"

"Ah was talkin' to her, Lyra, an' Bonbon earlier an' from what ah saw, they seemed much closer than jus' sisters, adopted or not" Applebloom explains when Babs throws her arm around her shoulder "Yeh, I can see dat happenin'. So! 'Ow 'bout a game? Y'know, t' pass th' time?"

Sweetie claps her hands "Truth or dare!"

Everyone looks at her, Scootaloo hopping up smiling "Let's play that! I like that idea!"

Silver and Babs shrug, moving into a circle

Diamond smiles and sits next to Applebloom who nods "Why not? Should be interestin'"

Sweetie smiles "Okay, Babs, truth or dare?"

She smiles "Dare"

"I dare you to... put on the maid outfit my sister has hanging up in the closet over there!"

Babs blanches "... God dammit"

She sits down, a grimace on her face "I feel like a ho"

Silver pulls out her camera "You look adorable! How about a panty shot for all your fans?"

"If I didn' leave my Glock in my pants, I'd shoot ya dead" Babs mutters, pulling the questionably short skirt down

Scootaloo rubs her hands "Diamond, truth or dare?"

"Truth I guess"

"How many times have you and Applebloom done it? Wait, I already know that, I was there" she taps her chin "... Do you ever fantasize about Applebloom?"

Diamond blushes "... Yes"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Considerin' how often ya space out, ah'm not surprised"

Silver clears her throat "Scootaloo, Truth or dare?"

"Dare me sucker" Scootaloo replies, grinning

Silver grins "Eat Sweetie Belle's cooking"

Scootaloo's face drains of color "I... I don't wanna die! Or be melted from the inside out! Or explode!"

Sweetie giggles "Well, I do have some of my leftover tuna, mac and cheese, egg, eggplant, vegetable and spaghetti casserole. I'll go get it!" she stands up and skips into the kitchen

Diamond stares at Applebloom and Scootaloo "... Does she know that should never exist? Ever?"

They both shake their heads as Silver points her camera at Scootaloo "I'd like to say that it was nice knowing you Scootaloo, but then I'd be lying"

Sweetie skips out with a blackened glass tray, doom, death, and deadly doom wafting from it

Setting it down next to Scootaloo, the unearthly looking monster of culinary evil stares back at her, blinking a few times

Diamond hold her nose "Sweets, what did the universe do to make you create such a monstrosity?"

Sweetie cocks her head "What do you mean? It tastes fine to me" as if to prove her point, she scoops some out and eats it, humming in pleasure "See? perfectly fine!"

Scootaloo shakily lowers her spoon into the horror and sticks it in her mouth

Her face turns every color of the rainbow and several garish patterns of plaid, paisley, polka dot, and somehow, a spiral before steam shot out of her ears, her nose seeming to try to wiggle off her face as she swallowed, a loud explosion emanating from her gut

Everyone watches as she lowers her fork into the monster, the eye blinking at her in mockery

"Scoots? Are ya okay?" Applebloom asks, worried

"... Ow..." she whispers, clutching her gut as a loud noise fills the room followed a groan of pain "... I think I just shit myself..."

Scootaloo walks out bow-legged and with a fresh pair of pants on "Shut up"

Everyone save for Sweetie fail to hide back their grins "I had no idea that Sweetie's cooking could do that"

Babs snorts "Ya know what we should do? Feed it ta everyone we don't like. That'll get 'em"

Sweetie hugs Scootaloo "I'm sorry! I thought I did good! I'll buy you a new outfit!"

Scootaloo grins "That's okay, how about a-mmph!" Sweetie leans up and kisses her before sitting back down "I... uh... what was I doing?"

"Eating that casserole" Babs says, keeping a straight face

"Right, eating the cassa- wait a second!"

Babs laughs and Silver rolls her eyes "You're incorrigible"

"If dat means 'awesome' then yes, I am" Babs says, cracking her knuckles "Okay, Tiara, truth or dare?"

"Truth?"

"Okay, how many people have you slept with before Applebloom?"

Diamond cocks her head "Do body pillows count?"

"... I have no idea what dat is so no" Babs says, scratching her head

"Then no one" she replies

"What about those rumors about you an' Rumble? Ain't that why he hates ya?"

Diamond snorts "He hates me because I keep dominating him in every game we play and he's a sore loser like his brother whom is slightly better, but no match for moi"

Sweetie nods "Yeah, so is Button"

Applebloom shrugs "Sweetie, truth or dare?"

"Truth!" she chirps, smiling

"Does Rarity have a whole closet full of outfits?"

Sweetie snorts "No!"

Applebloom crosses her arms "Thought she would-"

"She has a whole room!"

Silver smiles "Really? Let's go see"

"Oh. My. God." Silver mutters, the wall-to-wall carousel of dresses and clothing all pressed to perfection with a dance studio mirror going around the whole room and ceiling, the floor lighting up the room with white rays reflecting off the ceiling mirror making the whole room seem to be illuminated by pure, trapped light.

Silver pulls off a single spring ball-gown that would be more at home in "Beauty and the beast"

"Yeesh, ya sell all dis shiny junk an' ya'd be livin' pretty fer th' rest of yer life... an' up ta yer gran'chillin's lives too" Babs says, staring into a mirror with a tan jumpsuit with swirling dragons embroidered on it "'Ey, how much do ya think she'd be willin' to take ta part wit dis? 200? 300?" having forgotten what she was wearing, Scootaloo and Silver snap a few up-skirt shots

Sweetie skips over, holding a tag on the neck of the hanger up to the light "Not for sale until next month. This is one of Spike's designs so you'd have to ask him"

Babs deflates a little "Dang" she places it back but stops "... I know I ain't the type ta know fashion an' junk, but dis is missin' somethin'... I know! It needs somethin' on th' back! Like an insignia or some shit"

Silver walks over and stares at it "Yeah, compared to how the legs, arms, and body are ornately designed, a plain back seems kind of... 'Sloppy'? 'Lazy'? Or maybe it's just incomplete?"

Sweetie shakes her head "No, it's done. See? The tag has a red base, meaning it's finished and ready to be modeled. If it was blue then yes, it would be incomplete"

Diamond looks through Spike's design book "Hey guys, I think that his designs are based off others. Like look here"

They all walk over, the designs seeming to resonate with each one of them

Or the fact that the person wearing the designs are actually them

"I knew it! If I wasn't a bad ass an' cared 'bout my looks, I'd design dat jumpsuit!" Babs says, pointing to the sketch of her wearing the jumpsuit

Silver grabs a dull grey shirt with metal tassels, a matching pair of silk and denim pants in a matching greyscale "And this one is something that I'd wear!"

Applebloom flips through it "Ah don't see me in he- what the-?"

On the open page is her, wearing a scarlet-scale ball gown with amber trim and an her hair in an ornate bun, chopsticks with dangling apple shaped trinkets on the end

Next to her is Diamond, wearing a pressed grey and gold suit, hair draped over her shoulders and a confidant smile on her features, appearing to be some debonair gentleman

"There is no way I'm wearing that" both girls say in unison

Silver nods "Yeah, it would be the other way around, Bloom wearing a suit and DT in a dress"

Both girls stare at the other before nodding too

Scootaloo groans "Mushy junk time is over! Now find me and Rainbow!"

Flipping through the pages, Scootaloo grins upon finding her clothing "That is epic"

Standing cocky is Scootaloo with longer hair slicked in a classic Fonz style wearing a dark violet tracksuit missing the sleeves and with a blaze orange phoenix on the back, the wings over her chest and the neck around one side of her neck, the head below her throat like a glaring pendant

The next page had Rainbow Dash in a similar tracksuit except with sleeves, a rainbow lightning bolt on the back, thin sparks tracing around her body and to a blue cloud in the center, the rest of the tracksuit a dark magenta like her eyes, her hair unchanged from its usual lack of combing

All of them nod, even Applebloom "How come he uses us as models? Besides Sweetie, Silver, an' Diamond, none of us like fashion"

Head shaking all around as Sweetie ushered them out, shutting the lights off

Diamond looks around the room and smiles at Babs, still wearing the maid outfit "Babs, truth or dare?"

"Truth, I don' want ta look more ridiculous than I do now"

"Out of everyone in this room, who do you think could beat you in a fight?"

Babs shrugs "Easy, in terms of power, stamina, an' skill, dat'd be Applebloom, she hits like a fuckin' train"

Applebloom blushes "Ah do not!"

Sweetie pulls up the video of her at the gym causing damage to the ceiling and turning Spotter into a whimpering mess

"... Okay, so ah hit hard. So sue me"

Diamond shivers "I just want to know how you didn't kill me when we fought if you can do that kind of damage"

"Ah keep tellin' ya ah hold back against others!" Applebloom yells

Diamond nods and kisses Applebloom's cheek "I know, you're cute when you're angry"

Scootaloo makes gagging motions at the display "Okay! How about 'Never have I ever'?"

All the other girls shake their heads "No drinking"

"Target practice?" Babs suggests, grabbing her gun and pointing it at a mannequin

"No! How about we just stay in and maybe watch a movie?!" Silver yells, grabbing the gun

Sweetie claps her hands "I'll make popcorn!"

"NO!!" everyone yells, Sweetie rolling her eyes "It's microwave popcorn, I can't possibly screw this up"

8 seconds later

"EVERYONE! RUN! THE POPCORN IS REVOLTING! THEY'VE GOT COB GRENADES AND MUSTARD GAS!!" Sweetie screams, an explosion of the yellow condiment just missing her

Babs snorts "Yeah right, I'll go deal with them"

After a loud explosion, Babs walks back into the room with corn kernels stuck to her and soaked in mustard "Not. A. Word."

"That's what would happen" Diamond says

Sweetie rolls her eyes "That's not going to happen! I can make microwave popcorn!"

Scootaloo stands up "I'll watch her"

All the other girls salute her "May you return home safely"

Scootaloo salutes back, tears in her eyes "Should I not come back, tell my wife and unborn child I love them"

Sweetie sighs "Stop being so... over dramatic, it's like my sister's here or something..."

Diamond stops her salute "How much you wanna bet on explosion? I bet 20"

Applebloom smiles and pulls out a wrinkled bill "Nah, it'll mutate, that always happens when she uses the microwave"

Babs shakes her head, reaching into a Rainbow's wallet "No, it'll be half frozen on one end, burnt on th' other"

Silver grins at them, pulling a crisp bill out of her wallet "I think it'll be all three"

A loud explosion rips through the boutique as Scootaloo and Sweetie run out of the kitchen

"ICE AND FIRE MONSTER!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Sweetie yells, a two headed red and blue amalgam of food crashing through the door, one head breathing ice onto everything, the other spitting flames after them

"Sweetie! We need to talk about your monster problem!!" Diamond yells, tossing Applebloom her blade

"Ah can't believe ah'm doin' this!" Applebloom yells, slicing the monster in two

Both heads screech as the blade comes down, splitting it in two

Applebloom smiles triumphantly "Well that wasn't so hard"

All of the girls are staring at the slowly rising twin monsters attempting to stand on unsteady legs

Applebloom sighs "They ain't down, are they?"

Both heads roar and fire a beam at Applebloom who in attempting to avoid the blast loses grip on the blade "DAMMIT!"

Diamond gasps and leaps over Applebloom, using the uneaten casserole as a makeshift shield that reflects the fire and ice beams right back at the opposing heads, the fire half sealed in ice and the Ice half melting, its soggy popcorn brain on the floor

All four girls shake their heads "Uhhh... stop tempting fate?" Diamond suggests, taking her money back

They all nod as Sweetie puts the packet into the microwave and pulls a stool up to it to watch as Scootaloo raids Rarity's refrigerator "Come on! She must have some wine coolers or something in here! All I see is that horrible cooking wine junk that Big Mac and Spike like to use..."

Sweetie stares intently at the microwave "Light beer for getting rid of boys is under the stage, it's not Buck Wiser but it's cheap and the mongrels that they are can't tell the difference if you slap on a paper label"

Scootaloo closes the door and walks over to the stage, lifting a panel that rolls out a refrigerated tray full of cheap beers and a human hand

"WHAT THE HOLY SHIT!!" Scootaloo yells, jumping away from the hand

"That's just Spike's idea of a joke, it's a bottle opener on the thumb webbing. No matter how many times Rarity restocks the cooler she always screams so I do it unless I'm not around" Sweetie says, her gaze locked on the microwave "Why isn't it working?"

Silver walks over and shows Sweetie a cord "You need to plug it in, Dumb Belle"

Sweetie scrunches her face up "I'm not Dumb Belle you perfect example of the forgone gilded age"

Silver stares at her with bemusement "The fact that I understood what you just said makes it a poor insult"

Sweetie plugs it in and pouts, Silver walking back to the circle "Stop pouting, it's not good for your skin!"

Sweetie glares at her "I can pout if I want! Now I need to watch the pop-"

The whole boutique shudders as the oven bursts into flames "Oh come on! How on earth did the oven burst into flames?! I'm using the microwave!!" Sweetie yells, throwing her arms in the air

Applebloom sighs and walks over to the fire extinguisher "Stand back"

Sweetie holds up her hands "That's empty! The new one is in the closet!"

"I got it!" Scootaloo yells, firing a stream of CO2 at the base of the flames

Shutting releasing the trigger, Scootaloo smiles confidently "I don't volunteer at the fire department just to break down doors, get set on fire, a tax deduction, and also to hose people for fun and not get yelled at. And being small compared to the rest makes it easy for me to duck under beams so... yeah, I'm hot and a model citizen"

Sweetie stares at the microwave as it dings, the door opening with the smell of butter and salt "Popcorn's done!"

Applebloom stares at her "Okay miss firebrand, what do ah do with this?"

"Take it to the fire department to be recharged if possible, if you can't, make sure to release all the pressure form it before recycling or trashing it. When it gets compacted with pressure still in it, it will go boom, and if there's enough, blow a hole in the compacter. If it's heavy you can take it to a junk yard or something, they'll take it"

Applebloom stares at her "Okay, that was actually informative"

"Or make it into a bong or something. Or we can launch it in the air and shoot it out of the sky so it explodes like a bomb" Babs says, taking the cylinder

Applebloom sighs "No, we can't do that. We could be hit by shrapnel or somethin'"

Babs scoffs "Not 'less we do it awesomely. Let's just wait 'til I get my bag, we can put fireworks an' duct tape on it ta keep it from blowin' outwards an' junk. I blast propane tanks off th' roof in Manehatten all th' time"

Silver groans "She does, it's gotten our street so much attention and yet the police can't catch her and her friends"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, not gonna let you do that cousin"

Babs rolls her eyes and tosses the cylinder back to Applebloom "Fine, yer no fun as always cuz. What's on th' TV?"

Diamond looks up from the remote "Currently? I'd wager something in Swahili or Arabic. I can't seem to get to the English, French, Spanish, German, or Russian channels"

"You speak all those languages?" Scootaloo asks, dragging a couch over to the TV

"Too much money, too much time, too much boredom"

Sweetie shrugs "You have the language lock on, let me see"

Sweetie presses a series of buttons and the screen warps before a roaring dinosaur appears

"Cool, 'Triassic Park III'" Babs says, grabbing a handful of popcorn

Sweetie rolls her eyes "I could show you dinosaurs but it's too late at night for time travel. How about... 'Superm-'" Diamond snatches the remote

"No bad movies that bastardize the comics and canon physics. How about some anime?"

"Do any of them have girls with huge knockers?" Scootaloo asks

"There's more to anime than that Scootaloo!" Diamond says, glaring at her

Applebloom sits next to Diamond, leaning against her "Ah really don't care, just tired"

Silver grabs the remote "There's 'How do they make it' on the Science channel. That's always fun"

"NERD!" Babs yells, stealing the remote "How 'bout some good, old fashioned, Wrestlin'? I hear The Hutt is going to take down Del Taco"

All of them groan "No wrestling!"

Babs throws up her arms "Fine!"

Sweetie takes the remote again "My house, so I get to choose first! And we're going to watch 'My pretty pony'! And that's final!"

Diamond stares at Sweetie Belle "Even I'm not that nerdy or... nostalgic"

Sweetie blushes "I like it... and it also has super cool monsters in it"

Scootaloo laughs "Like what? An angry cloud?"

"Well, dere is a giant dust storm creature" Babs says, yawning

Everyone stares at her, even Sweetie "What? Jus' cause I kick butt fer fun don't mean I don't know good TV. Sheesh, some people"

Silver rolls her eyes "That explains all the notebooks full of words, you've been writing fan-fictions, haven't you?"

Babs nods "Honestly thought that ya knew. I may not scream it but you'd think dat ya'd notice it. What do you think I do in my room, cheerin' and laughin' an' junk? Watchin' ponies an' stuff"

Silver rubs her temple "I need new friends. Some that aren't complete space cadets"

Babs shrugs "So I like ponies, don't make me less of a bad-ass mutha-fucka"

Applebloom groans "Shut up you guys, tryin' to sleep here"

Diamond rests a hand on Applebloom's head, undoing the braids and brushing it straight again, Applebloom sighing in comfort

Sweetie stares up at the screen, ignoring the others.

For it was a most crucial time for her

Pony time. It was pony time, and it cannot be ruined

Author's Note

Remember to always follow these rules of the proper pony party patrol procedures:

Cross-overs are epic (we would all like to see this right? or is it just me?)

Get your pony repaired every so often

self-explanatory

see above text

These are the first set of rules that can be followed and you won't have a problem with your pony or the pony police.

this PSA has been brought to you by the Paradise Estates company "ensuring that you and your pony are happy"

... I hope this is still random enough

Also, DO NOT EAT ANYTHING MADE BY SWEETIE BELLE. NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT LOOKS, IT WILL KILL YOU