The Author's Auto Biograhy

by Cool writer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human, Lyra, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 2070

travel through space, time and dimensions oh my! Here's how it all began

Ever wonder how I travel through time? How I know how to fight all those monsters out there? How I met my companion, Lyra Heartstrings? Get ready for a whole lot of backstory... My past, my present, here's how it all began with me, the Author.

Published 2015-03-27 13:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-27 13:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1, Time and Relative Dimensions...

Author's Note

Better version on my DA

Chapter 1, Time and Relative Dimensions...

Before we begin, I should mention I'm using a magic quill that writes down anything I say. I should also tell you who I am, I am The Author. If that gives you flash backs to a certain other timelord... then it's because I was... "little" when I came up with that title, I just haven't come up with anything better.

My life started... well not started... more like, "got exciting" in my back yard. It's a little weird sounding, "my life got exciting in my backyard," but it did. So one day, I was... I think seven... and just sitting in my backyard, looking up at the night sky and thinking about what else could be out there.

"It would make a great story," I said to myself. At this point in my life, I already knew what my purpose was,(meaning, had a cutie mark) writing! So I was constantly coming up with ideas that I might follow, or just leave the to clutter up my idea drawer. I also wasn't called the Author back then, I was actually named "golden straw," but changed when I got a little older. Then, I looked up at a bright star. A REALLY bright star. Suddenly, BOOM! A large, metal cylinder, crashed in my backyard! There was a small hole in it, and that hole had a key sticking out of it. I, tentatively approached the object. When I got to it, I did what any child would do to a strange object: I poked it with a stick! The object did nothing. After waiting for a bit, I got a little bit closer. I turned the key in the hole and heard something click. After I turned the key, I levitated it out of the lock. I looked closer at the object, and then I noticed something: the wall was a panel.

'It must be a door or something!' I thought to myself. So, going on that theory, I pushed the panel and it gave way, opening. I was genuinely awestruck at the inside of the object. I took a few steps back, to examine the outside to see if I had it correct. The object... was bigger on the inside! Not like when a house looks small but it's actually big... no. This thing... was LITERALLY, bigger on the inside! Inside of it was a small room, with white walls, floor, and ceiling. The walls had small circles in them, producing light for the room. The center of the room had a strong table thing, with controls and a small piece of cylinder glass sticking out of it. I stepped inside the room and took a closer inspection on the table. There were all sorts of levers, buttons, knobs, dials, gauges, and meters. I wasn't sure what any of it did.

Suddenly, my brain started to go fuzzy. New knowledge filled my brain. This machine... was called a TARDIS.

"T-A-R-D-I-S, that's time and relative dimensions in space." A voice in my head said. It was a spaceship, and a time machine! I knew something, that I could find a book to tell me to fly the TARDIS in the TARDIS library. So, I walked to the library.

After a long time of searching for the library, searching the library for the manual, reading the manual, and practicing simulated flight... I was finally ready to start flying the TARDIS. I walked to the console, and started to type in coordinates.

"Ok, so... I want today, right now... in... canter...lot!" I hit something like an enter key. The monitor displayed a picture on canterlot, at night, with today's date in the corner of the screen. I grinned, as I had entered the coordinates correctly. Now, came the hard part: flying it. I walked to the handbrake. I gulped.

"Here we go!" I said nervously. But before I pulled the lever, I heard my mother calling my to go to bed. I sighed angrily. So, I switched off the console, and the light dimmed down. Then, I walked out of the TARDIS, closed and locked the door, and went inside.

Chapter 2, First Flight

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 4, A Close Encounter (/Call)

So, what? I just talk into the microphone? Like this, right? Umm, ok then! Wait, this isn't getting published is it? Anyways... I'm Lyra. I'm using a voice-to-speech spell Author put on the quill because I'm not a writer like he is. Ok, where to begin, where to begin... Oh I know!

It was a normal day, and I was out for a walk. It was bright and sunny, (because Rainbow Dash had gotten up and done her job for once) and the wind was calm. I didn't know why, but for some reason, I broke into a nervous trot. I had the feeling that something was behind me. I turned my head (continuing to walk) and saw nothing. As I walked, the nervousness turned to dread, and my pace increased. Soon, it was full-blown terror, and I was galloping as though the olden pony, headless horse, and nightmare moon were at my heels... if I had human heels. My heart was racing, and I was panting hard. I only had one thought in mind: getting anywhere but here. I turned and reached a dead end: a dark ally way. I turned around, and suddenly my fears were justified. A huge, spiderlike creature was standing right behind me and was pushing me deeper into the ally. It was black and brown, with white on where it's thorax would be. I tried to scream for help, but my cries got caught in my thought. BUMP! I felt my flank reach the wall, and the weight of my doom set in. I closed my eyes and prepared for the end as the spider creature closed in for the kill.

"WAIT WAIT!" Came sompony's shouts from down the ally. I opened my eyes to see a red stallion standing at the opposite side of narrow road. His face was confident and kind, but it brought with it a beam of hope and warmth. "You don't need to do this!" He said... to the monster. "I can help you, just tell me what you need, and let her go."

"NEVER!" The creature hissed like something from a nightmare. "You can not stop us Author!" This caused the sympathy the stallion (Who I guessed was called "Author") drained away.

"So that's how it is then?" He muttered. Then, he looked straight at me. "What's your name?"

"Lyra!" I sputtered out, beginning to cry. He smiled.

"Lyra," He said kindly. "That's a pretty name, it'd be a shame if no one were able to say "Hi Lyra" again, wouldn't it?" Before I could respond, he answered his own question. "No, it'd be a shame if Lyra died here, so you know what I'm gonna do? Lyra, I'm going to get you out this, I'm going to save you. And I'm gonna stop you, and your little friends, spider!" He pulled out a bronze, white and silver rod, from I'm not sure where. Suddenly, the green tip of the rod lit up and emitted a loud screech. The spider cried out in surprise. I placed my hooves over my folded ears to block out the noise.

"Lyra! Come on!" I barely made out over the din. The noise stopped, and I jumped over the spider and ran to the red stallion. When I reached him, the spider began to regain its composure. "Run!!!" The stallion called to me, and we ran. For the first, and not the last time, we ran.

"Where are we going?!" I asked him.

"Saftey!" He called back. We raced toward an abandoned building, and inside it. He slammed the door behind us and pointed the rod at the door. It made its whirring noise, but a LOT quieter. The lock on the door clicked. He continued to point the device at the door.

"I'm reinforcing the wood, so the hatchling can't get through." He said as though it was a simple as levitating a book.

"Wait, hatchling? So that was... a baby?!?" I shrieked. "Then how big is an adult?" I asked this question with my non-human knees buckling. The stallion mused for a moment.

"Oh they're about..." He popped up on his hind legs and did a large jump holding his hoof at an imaginary line. "That high."

"I think I'm gonna be sick," I replied. He walked over to me and put a hoof around my neck.

"Awww don't be like that. There's only one adult Racnoss alive at the moment. And I'm trying to prevent any more adult planet eating ones coming into existence." He said, trying to be comforting. He failed.

"They eat planets!?! Like... Equestria?" I asked, feeling worse as the conversation dragged on.

"Yeah, of course you only hear that part." He said annoyed. "Look, I'm gonna stop them from destroying this planet, and all the ponies on it." He said his voice firm.

"But... who are you? You're just one pony, you said they eat planets!" I cried. He smiled.

"I'm The Author, I'll be your discount Doctor today." He said. And... that's how we met.

Chapter 3, Doctor... who?

But... there was something else in the database. Someone called the Doctor. He's something called a "time lord" and man did they look strange to child me. It also says the timelords are the ones who made the TARDIS, and I'm guessing that's why there's so little about them. The Doctor has apparently saved many worlds and even the whole of reality. The more I read about him, the more I began to realize that not everypony out there was nice. Then I finally realized something: The Doctor may be real in the dimension the TARDIS came from, but here he's just a fairy tale, and Equestria needed somepony to save it from these things out there. So I began to read, and boy did it take a while!

Chapter 5, Companion

An hour or two later...

Vroop! Vroop! VROOP! The TARDIS landed in an alley, somewhere behind sugar cube corner. Out of the box, stepped the Author and Lyra.

"You are compleatly impossible!" Lyra exclaimed.

"I know right! Isn't it wonderful?" The Author exclaimed back, happily. Lyra laughed and shook her head.

"You just shot an army of alien spiders off into space, you whisk me out of the ship in your magic red box, and then you say: 'it's wonderful'?" Lyra laughed.

"It takes getting used to, among other things," The Author said, mysteriously.

"Like what? Does it also travel in time?" Lyra asked sarcastically.

"Yeas, it does actually." The Author responded, matter-of-factly. Lyra raising an eyebrow. "It does! Watch," The Author stepped back into the TARDIS, and it took off, groaning and "vrooping." Then, It came back into view. Out of the box, stepped a very tired Author, holding a photo with his magic.

"Took me a while to track you down, but I finally did it!" The Author panted a bit. He levitated the photo to Lyra. It was of her, as a filly playing ball with her parents!

"Wha- how is that possible!?" Lyra asked, shocked.

"I told you, time travel." He then realized something. "And you never apologized for that ball to the head," The Author added.

"Wait... that was you?!?" Lyra was stunned.

"Yes, it was," The Author replied. "So, you wanna see the universe, and possibly universi?" The Author was excited.

"You know what?" Lyra stared up at him blankly. She smiled. "Why the hay not? Somepony's gotta keep you alive."

"Oy!" The Author exclaimed. "I've been doing this since I was seven, SEVEN! How many seven year-olds have saved the world numourus times?" Lyra laughed.

"Come on, I've got a roommate you need to meet, I know you two will hit it off!"

Long story short... we didn't. She thought I was crazy, I wanted her to go inside the TARDIS, she threw a frying pan at me (good shot, she is), and it took me bringing in filly Celestia to convince her of the truth... she proceeded to punch me again. The two of us (me and Lyra) then strolled into the TARDIS, and into many adventures.

TO BE CONTINUED...