You have to believe me--

Wait, that makes me sound crazy. Okay, starting over. Hi, I'm Lyra Heartstrings, totally ordinary unicorn. I've stumbled onto an ancient conspiracy, and I need to get this documentation published because it outlines what's really going on.

Fine, publish it as fiction, I don't care! The point is to get it out where everypony can see it!

Look, I don't care how much it's going to cost, I will rob a bank if I have to, but this can't be hidden any longer. I thought humans were long gone. I was wrong. I need to warn everypony, no, everybody, and if that means I have to sound like some crazy conspiracy theorist then so be it!