Partyin' Pat (Techorse #8)

by Techorse

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 9936

In a parody of "The Mask", Techorse takes on an alter ego using some poison joke in order to fit in at a nightclub.

#8 of the Techorse series. When Twilight and her friends are all invited to a nightclub, Techorse feels as if he won't fit in from a lack of social graces. In a parody of "The Mask", he decides to use a little poison joke to see if he can become the party animal he wants to be!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-24 05:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Partyin' Pat

Techorse series #8

By Spirals95

"What do you mean DJ Pon-3 is sick?" demanded Clubs of his employee as they strolled down the streets of Ponyville.

Clubs was a tan earth pony with a fiery red mane, and was the owner of the local nightclub. His cutie mark was a disco ball, which was a very rare one for any pony to have.  Despite his suave appearance, he had quite the temper, which could go off at any moment.

"Exactly that, sick with a flu of some kind."

"Well, if I can't get a DJ for the event tomorrow tonight, I'm going to have to cancel it!" continued Clubs angrily.

"Sir, if I could make a suggestion," said the humble manager, "maybe you could choose a different kind of entertainment."

"Like what?" asked Clubs.

"Live entertainment." Suggested the manager, "get some ponies to play music live at the event. It could be fancier that way."

"I suppose the princesses are coming." Agreed Clubs, "and they might enjoy the more old-fashioned tunes. But where are we going to get a band on such sort notice?"

The manager said, "I know this mare named Octavia who has a small band. They're pretty good, and their schedule is a little loose. Maybe we can get them to play."

"All right, do it." Said Clubs reluctantly, "but I'm just not sure only a band is going to be enough to keep the guests entertained."

While they continued walking down the cobblestone street, they heard beautiful singing. Looking around, they saw Twilight Sparkle on the balcony of her library singing a very beautiful tune, although it lacked words at the moment.

"Get her for me." said Clubs, "She can learn a song and sing it for the event."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Invite her and all her friends to the party tomorrow night. Once you get her, meet me back at the club within the hour, go it?"

"Yes sir."

The manager approached the door of the library and knocked on it gently with his front hoof. After a couple of moments, Spike answered the door.

"We're closed." He said bluntly.

"But it's 8 in the morning." said the manager with a confused tone of voice.

"I know that, we don't open until nine."

The manager groaned, "Look, I'm not interested in any books, I just need to talk to the pony on the balcony."

"Ok, wait here." said Spike as he left back into the library and shut the door in the manager's face.

"I hate my job." He mumbled as he waited for the dragon to return. After a few moments, Twilight opened the door again and confronted the manager.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm the manager of The Jockey nightclub. The owner wishes for you to sing at the charity event tomorrow."

"Really?  The one the princesses are going to attend?" Twilight asked, obviously surprised.

"That's the one." confirmed the manager, "Apparently my boss liked your singing and wants you to learn a song for the event."

"What's in it for us?" asked Spike.

"Spike!" scolded Twilight.

"No, it's ok," said the manager, "you'll be able to invite some friends to the club as well. But he can't come, he's way too young."

Spike stormed off in disgust.

The manager took out a slip of parchment and asked, "So, how many friends would you like to invite?"

Twilight listed, "Let's see. There's Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Techorse."

"Techorse?" asked the manager.

"He lives in the castle on the far end of town." said Twilight, "Didn't you notice it on your way in?"

"I was wondering what that was for." replied the manager, "is that everyone?"

"Yes, that's everyone." She answered with a nod.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." said the manager, "Wear something fancy."

He left her to go and create invitations to distribute to the list of ponies he had.

It wasn't long before the invitations reached the group of friends. Unsurprisingly, many of them had wanted to go the club, but had never made it due to it being invitation only.

"Awesome!" cheered Rainbow Dash as she opened the letter in the mail, "I finally get to go to that nightclub!"

She flew off to find the others and assemble them for a talk about what they were going to do to get ready for the huge social event. The team met in front of the library to talk.

"Isn't this great?" squealed Pinkie Pie, "We're finally going to The Jockey nightclub!"

"I know," agreed Rarity, "if only I had time to make new dresses for everyone."

"It's ok, we can just re-use the others." suggested Applejack.

"You simply never think about fashion, do you?" countered Rarity with a frown.

"That ain't true, I'm just trying to save you the trouble of makin' new stuff when we don't need it!" she argued, picking up on the teasing.

"Maybe if we stop arguing, we can enjoy going to the club tomorrow." whispered Fluttershy, attempting to be the peacemaker in the situation. Twilight opened the door to the library and strolled outside to talk to her friends.

"So, are we all ready for tomorrow?" she asked around.

"As a matter of fact, Twilight, I was just trying to explain to Applejack here that we need new dresses." said Rarity, "The trouble is that I don't have time to make them."

"I appreciate your dedication, Rarity, but we really don't need new outfits."

Rarity lifted her head up and pouted a bit, letting her purple-blue curls bounce. "Fine, we will reuse older dresses. I did manage to make one outfit however, the zoot suit Techorse wanted."

"Can I see it?" asked Pinkie Pie, pointing to a white cardboard box by Rarity's side.

"No, I'm afraid not Pinkie Pie. Tech told me to keep its appearance secret for some reason."

"Speaking of Techie, where is that mad scientist anyways?" asked Applejack, scanning the air for him.

"He said he would be here a little late, something about his job came up." sighed Twilight, knowing her coltfriend was a very busy pony.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon." comforted Fluttershy.

"Do you think he'll be ok going to this party?" asked Rainbow Dash, "he's, you know, not very social."

"That's not true." said Twilight, "sure he doesn't make small talk well, but I think he'll be ok."

"I just hope he has a good time!" said Pinkie Pie, "Parties are about having fun."

"Agreed." said Twilight. Techorse landed near them with a whoosh from his turbofans, impacting the cobblestone ground with a solid whack. Looking up at his friends, he gave the mental command, and the circular propellers disappeared into the sides of his robotic saddle with a soft click of steel and circuitry.

"Sorry I'm late." He said, "I was repairing a factory machine."

"I see." Said Rarity, "while you're here, I have the suit you paid me to make."

"All right, thanks Rarity!" he said happily as he walked over to the cardboard box. The robot arms snaked out of the saddle and lifted the suit box off the ground.

"Do those robotic arms ever creep you out?" whispered Rainbow Dash to Twilight.

"No." she replied, "They're too useful for me to care.  You should see them in action when he helps me re-shelf books."

"I guess you're going to wear that suit to the club tomorrow!" said Pinkie Pie to Tech, making sure he made eye contact with her.

"Actually." He said with disappointment, "I don't think I'm going."

"What, why not?" asked Twilight in surprise.

"Girls, as much as I get along with you, I'm not very good at parties." He responded, "I talk at too high an intellectual level."

"What?" muttered Applejack, giving him a confused look.

"I use big words that make others feel stupid." He simplified.

Pinkie Pie reared up and grabbed him with her front legs, "But you have to go, you just gotta! It's rare to be invited to The Jockey club!"

"I know, but, I just won't fit in." he said in depression. Pinkie released her grip and frowned.

"Please?" she begged while giving him a lip quiver.

"Look, maybe." He said as he turned to leave, "but I just don't think I'm a very party-going pony. I'll look so weird that it's just not worth it to me to go. I'm sorry."

He left the others standing there with sad expressions as he picked up the cardboard box and walked off into the night.

"I can't believe he's not going to go!" said Rainbow Dash in disbelief, "We've waited all our lives to go to this nightclub and he just refuses to go cause he's a little scared he won't fit in?"

"I guess we can't really blame him." said Fluttershy, "after all, he doesn't have a single male friend."

"Yes he does, Spike and PAL." said Twilight.

"I meant a male pony friend." continued Fluttershy, "he probably thinks he won't fit in because of that."

"Then let's get him one!" planned Pinkie Pie, "we'll just search around town tomorrow for a colt who would want to be friends with him."

"One day isn't long enough to build a friendship." said Twilight sadly.

Applejack tried to finish the depressing conversation, "Well, if he doesn't go, let's try to have a good time anyways."

"You're right." said Rainbow Dash, "Forget about Techie."

They all left at that point except for Fluttershy and Twilight, who stood there and watched them leave.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly to Twilight, "I'm disappointed he isn't coming too."

"He doesn't even know I'm going to sing there.  He's going to miss it." she sobbed.

"Well, just give him the day tomorrow. Maybe he'll change his mind."

The next morning, Tech tried to sleep in and forget about his invitation. But the rays of the morning sun entered through the only window in the bedroom and woke him up. The colt rolled out of his king sized bed with a beautiful blue comforter, and had a look out the bay window. He saw the fauna of Ponyville enjoying the beautiful morning, birds and small mammals played on the smooth green grass coated with refreshing dew. This made him a bit happier, but still, the knowledge that he didn't really do well socially pierced his soul and hurt his mind. As he looked out the window, a cold metallic hand stroked his mane, causing him to jump a bit.

"I made breakfast for you master." said PAL.

Tech brushed the metal hand off of him and said, "Thanks, but remember to knock before entering, you scared me a bit."

"Sorry." apologized the machine as he drew his arm back to his side. PAL walked with his master down to the castle's dining room. Techorse sat down on a padded chair and rested his head gently on the long oak table as he waited for his robot to serve him. The friendly machine brought a tray out from the kitchen and placed it in front of his best friend. Tech lifted his neck and stared down at the food. PAL had made special pancakes using cookie cutters as molds.

The letters read, "Go to the club."

"PAL" asked Techorse, "who told you?"

"Fluttershy did." He replied, "Master, I really think you should go.

"I won't fit in." he answered, "They'll all think I'm weird." The machine showed frustration in his creator's attitude by muttering a series of electronic phrases under his breath.

"Hey, you watch your language, I didn't teach you that." scolded Techorse.

"You're just so frustrating and illogical." Shouted the machine, "What do you have to lose by going? Nothing! In fact, your love interest is going to sing at that event. How selfish of you to not want to go!"

The pony's eyes widened a bit. "Twilight's going to sing? She never told me."

The robot nodded and extended his arms sideways, "Yes! Now will you go?"

"I… I'll think about it. Right now, I need to go for a walk." He answered as he left the table without eating a single pancake.

The robot smiled and picked up the tray, he didn't care that the effort to make the food was wasted. He had convinced his master to at least think about changing his mind.

Tech left his castle and began to walk through town. Although he didn't encounter any of his friends before crossing the entire span of Ponyville, he was able to devote a lot of thought to his decision. As he reached Fluttershy's cottage on the other edge of town, he wondered if he should visit her.

"Maybe Fluttershy can help me decide." He said as he walked up to the door of her home. Extending a robot arm, he knocked on the wooden door and waited. When no reply came after a few minutes, he gave up and decided to walk through the Everfree forest.

Tech said to himself, "I guess I could go for a walk in the forest."

As he approached the twisted trees of the wild area, he brought out his laser cannons. Although he was once a human on Earth where all forests grew without intervention, Equestria was home to creatures similar to the ones considered mythical on Earth. Chances are a walk through the Everfree forest could result in a horrible death if one went unprepared. The cockatrices were the least of a traveler's worries, many other beasts lived there that could use non-magical natural weapons to put an end to a stray pony. Yet, there was something about the forest that, while it scared away the native-born residents of Equestria, drew the newcomer to it. Tech stashed his guns and walked right into the boundary of the forest. As he headed deeper through the trees, he remained observant but tried to have fun at the same time.

During his walk amongst the twisted trees and strange paths, he encountered a small light blue object on the ground. The colt approached the thing and lowered his head to have a closer look.

"What the?" he blurted out in a minced oath in response to the weird shape of the object.

With a whirring sound, his robotic arms came out of the saddle and picked it up. It was an odd tribal mask made out of strange light blue flowers.

"This looks like a mask of some kind." He said aloud, "I bet it belongs to Zecora."

True enough, the zebra that lived in the forest had many different masks hanging in her home to represent her cultural background. However, Tech had been there a few times, and he had never seen this particular mask before. Regardless of whether or not it actually belonged to her, he decided to take the mask to the zebra and ask about its origins. Using a compass he had stored in his saddle's cargo container, Techorse brought the baby blue mask to the front door of the small house in the forest and knocked on the front door. Unlike the last instance, he had better luck, and Zecora answered the door. She was wearing the gold rings she typically did.

"Hello Zecora, remember me?" asked Tech.

"Of course." She replied, "how could I forget the human who became a horse?"

"That's way behind me now." He laughed, "Anyways, the reason I'm here is because I found this strange mask while walking in the forest. I figured it belonged to you."

Zecora invited him inside, then took the mask from him and inspected it carefully.

Tech asked, "So, do you recognize it?"

"This mask you found is surely not mine." She answered, "But what it can do is not really fine."

The colt used his brainpower to decipher the rhyme, "So, it's dangerous in some way? How so?" The zebra rustled her hair, making her gold rings jingle a bit.

"You're in trouble if you give this a poke. This mask is made of dried poison joke."

Tech understood immediately why the mask was so dangerous. Poison joke was a flowering plant native to Equestria which produced an extremely devastating toxin on its petals. In general, the toxin behaves identical to the itching chemicals found on the leaves of the poison plant family that grows on Earth. It's impossible to tell if one has been poisoned until the effects of it kick in.

Unlike the Earth plants, however, the effect of the chemical found on the light blue flowers is extremely varied. The poisoning power ranges from something as simple as itchiness to particle condensation, causing the victim to shrink. Curing the toxin in easy, it is water soluble and does not usually soak into the skin. However, Tech was glad that he had used his robotic arms to pick up the mask, as it had saved him from falling under the plant's weird effects.

"Oh." He said, "But the flowers are dry. Even the most poisonous plants can't make any more after they dry out."

Zecora half-nodded in agreement, but cautioned, "The knowledge you have is true and great. But don't wear that mask, or you'll meet your fate."

"It won't kill me." He assured her as he took back the mask with his robotic arms, "it will just make me silly, that's all. The girls all told me what it did to them, and I don't think it'd be too bad for me."

"To resist the temptation is a hard task. Just play it safe and give me the mask." She requested, knowing what the colt was going to get himself into.

"Aw come on, you can trust me." He said as he made for the door. "Thanks Zecora for your help, but I think I want to hang on to this. It might make for a good decoration around the castle."

Once he was out the door, Zecora immediately started brewing a soap batter to scrub off poison joke venom. It was likely the colt would be back with some strange condition.  Tech couldn't believe his luck. He had gone for a walk in the woods and found a mask that when touched would cause silly effects in the victim.

He said cheerfully to himself as he trotted away, "If I touch this mask before I go to the club, it will make me a bit more socially acceptable!"

It was then to his horror he realized he only had an hour before he had to leave for the club.

"I have to get back and get ready!" he thought as he brought out his turbofans and took off into the sunset.

Rather than go through the front door of his castle, Tech flew through an open window and landed in his living room.

PAL looked up from the newspaper he was reading and asked, "How was the walk?"

"Great," he replied happily, "and guess what? I'm going to the club tonight!"

"Fantastic!" said the robot as he shot up from the couch and threw the paper down.

"Check this out." said the pony as he unstrapped the mask from the back of the saddle, "I found this mask made from poison joke flowers."

"I believe you added an article on that plant to the castle's database." said the robot, stroking his chin, "doesn't it cause a weird effect on the victim?"

"That's the point." continued his master, "I'm going to rub this on myself before I go to the club. The silly effect should help me fit in more!"

PAL said uneasily, "I don't know, master. Shouldn't you go as yourself to the party?"

"I am." He confirmed, "I'm just making a little modification to my behavior. I mean, Zecora told me not to touch the mask directly, but this is my only shot at fitting in."

"Master, I know the zebra has a better knowledge than you about how the biology of plants work. You should listen to her." said PAL, crossing his arms.

"Come on robot, less logic, more fun." laughed the colt as he left with the mask.

Techorse brought the poison joke mask up to his master bathroom and took a look in the mirror.

"Maybe I should just put on the mask and take it off." he considered.

Turning the artifact around to the other side, he slowly put it to his face. Letting it rest gently on his head, Techorse watched as the mask conformed to the shape of his head. He panicked for a moment, but the grasp of the flowers was gentle, and he was done no harm.

After the mask settled down around his head, he breathed in relief and chuckled, "For a second there, I thought I was going to go through some kind of hideous transformation sequence."

No sooner did he say that did the toxins in the flowers reach his brain. The plant had decided on the effect it was going to inflict on Techorse, and it wasn't going to be physical. It was going to be psychological. Techorse felt his mind go blank for a second, then it started going at a thought a nanosecond. He watched in curiosity as the mask soaked completely into his face, disappearing into his head and leaving him with a light blue mug. Suddenly and without warning, Techorse started spinning rapidly and disappeared in a cyan tornado, which left the bathroom and headed into his bedroom. Downstairs, PAL heard the rushing and knew his master had already made a stupid choice. When the tornado settled down upstairs, where a green pony had once stood, there was one with a coat in the color of fresh poison joke. He had kept the same mane and tail style, but they were the green color his old coat had been. The only thing that remained the same was his cutie mark and eyes.

This new pony put on a huge grin and shouted, "Oh yeah baby! We're gonna party tonight!"

The light blue colt raised his front legs in a "charging" action, and then disappeared in a flash downstairs. He zipped by PAL, which knocked the machine down onto the stone floor, denting the machine's chassis. PAL got up off the ground and shook his head before heading over to the lab to repair the damage. The new Techorse opened the front door of his castle quickly and rushed outside. He took in the night sky. To his right, a loitering colt was enjoying a drag on his cigar. Tech took a look around at the lights of Ponyville a mile in front of him.

He then brought his teeth together and said, "SSSSSSmokin!" Turning to his right, he grabbed the cigar from the colt and crushed it on the castle walls, "...causes cancer. You should take better care of yourself buddy!"

The colt frowned and nodded in agreement. After making a clicking sound with his tongue, Tech turned around and rushed back inside his castle. He stopped with a twanging noise as he looked at PAL, who was visibly angry with him.

"Hey, how's it going, metal man?" asked the new Techorse as he smiled at his servant.

The robot crossed his arms and sighed, "You touched it, didn't you?"

"That's what she said!" laughed Tech as he dashed by his robot, knocking him down on the ground again. PAL tried to get up, but before he could, his poisoned master zipped back to him and said, "Sorry about that, but I need to get ready to party!"

PAL groaned in frustration as the colt disappeared upstairs.  Techorse sped back into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. He noticed that he was still wearing the battle saddle.

Looking at the device, he noted, "I gotta lose the oily gadget! Nobody wears these things at parties."

He took off the straps on the somewhat flat machine and tossed it aside.

"Now, where can I get some cool duds at this hour?" He wondered aloud as he scratched his chin with a hoof. Remembering something, another display of cartoon speed brought him into his wardrobe, where he opened the cardboard box Rarity gave him. The pony put the contents of the box on his body and then went back to the mirror in the bathroom. The suit consisted of a white dress shirt and a yellow zoot suit which was long enough to just cover up his cutie mark. But the strangest piece of them all was the hat. It was what can only be described as a pimp hat, the same color as the suit, with an obnoxiously large pink feather sticking out of the purple leopard band around the middle.  A black and green striped tie completed the portrait of ultimate tackiness.

Admiring the strange outfit in the mirror, he gave his ears a little twirl to fit the hat better and shouted, "Ooh, stylish and spontaneous!"

Looking ninety degrees to the right at absolutely no one, he continued, "You gotta love that Rarity's work."

Deciding that was enough preparation for the party, he tried to make his quick exodus for the nightclub. But the robot blocked him from exiting the castle, and he screeched to a halt on the stone.

"Wash off that poison. It's for your own good." demanded the machine.

Techorse said to him, "Move it tin man, I gotta go now!"

"You look nothing like yourself anymore." reasoned the robot, "only your original appearance will get you in to the club."

Tech pulled out the invitation to the nightclub and said, "Yeah, but what if I sorta endorse my new self, big boy?"

"It's not like you'd come up with a nickname and fool everyone." said the robot, "that's a stupid idea."

"Actually that's swell, I think I'll steal that idea!" replied the pony as he jumped out an open window.

"How could I forget to close the window?" asked the machine of himself as he realized his plans had failed.

Twilight and her friends had lined up outside of the nightclub, waiting patiently to get in. To her surprise, one of the employees found out Twilight was supposed to sing and got them in early through a VIP entrance. Rarity nearly fainted from the special treatment. Soon they arrived on the inside of The Jockey nightclub. It was basically a very large open room, featuring a wonderful tile dance floor in the center and many tables with red cloths on them. The other half of the room was devoted to the various games which would raise money for the charity event: helping to find a cure for wing cancer. A decorative fountain stood to the sides, although it did not feature any special carvings, it was still a wonderful touch to the place. Twilight was led away from her friends to put on makeup for her performance, but the others took their seats at a reserved table.

"This is so awesome!" squealed Rainbow Dash, "I can't wait to dance after Twilight sings!"

"I know!" shouted Pinkie Pie as she slammed her hooves onto the table, "this is going to be the craziest party ever!"

Applejack looked to the side of her and noticed that Fluttershy looked a little sad.

"What's wrong, Sugarcube?" she asked.

Fluttershy looked up and said, "He didn't show up. I talked to PAL this morning so that he could try and reason with Tech, but I guess it didn't work."

"Aw forget about 'em. Just try to have a good time yerself."

Tech arrived on the scene of the nightclub, invitation in hoof. As he was about to walk up to it, he noticed for the first time just how crazy he was acting.

"Wait a minute, the robot's right. I'm not Techie anymore. I got to make a new name for myself!" he shouted to no audience whatsoever.

Getting a plan in mind, he walked right up to the front of the line and talked with one of the guards. Many ponies smiled at the new guy, who obviously looked like he was ready to have a good time.

"Um, are you on the list?" asked the guard cautiously.

"My friend is." The crazy Techorse replied, "You see, he gave me his ticket. Right here buddy."

Tech handed the invite, which bore his signature, to the pegasus guard. "Well, that is his signature, it matches the one here for Techorse. Go on ahead in."

"Thanks!" he shouted and he zipped past the guard, causing him to spin around. This made the line of ponies waiting to get in snicker. The guard regained his composure and continued to sort through the guests. They eventually all got settled into the club, where they waited for the entertainment to start. But they couldn't begin until the princesses arrived, who were running a little bit late that night. To pass the time, Techorse decided to talk with his friends. But he had already lied to the guard to excuse his appearance, so he knew he couldn't simply tell them who he really was.

"I can have a good time tonight and then tomorrow be my old self again." He thought while grinning.

The colt dashed up to his friend's table and stole Twilight's chair. It took the others a second or two to notice his near teleportation into the seat.

"Hellooooo ladies!" he said in a very cheeky manner. Pinkie Pie giggled at his boldness.

"Um, hello, that's Twilight's spot." said Fluttershy.

"Oh, I'm sorry." replied Tech, "I'll just sit in this other one."

"That's Techorse's seat, or at least it was." said Rarity in disgust, not knowing who the new guy really was.

"Perhaps it's time I introduce myself." said Tech, "The name's Partyin' Pat."

"Ooh, is that short for Patrick?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Nope, it's short for Par-tay!" he laughed as he pushed his hat down a bit, “Well, full name's Party Pattern but hey, that's quite the mouthful don't ya think?  Call me Pat!”

Rarity noticed he was wearing the outfit she made and asked curiously, "Excuse me, but that looks like a suit I made for Techorse. Why are you wearing it?"

"You see ladies." He explained, "Techie couldn't come today. But he gave me his ticket and these sweet threads, and told me to take his place. As the official party pony of Reigntown, how could I refuse?"

Pinkie Pie's eyes widened in joy, "You're an official party pony of a town?"

"Yeah, all cities have one!" Pat replied with a wink.

"So, you're friends with Techie then?" asked Rainbow Dash.

He turned and nodded quickly, "We're really good friends. Been so for a long time, sister."

Rainbow took a bit of offense at the daring "sister" comment, but decided to shake off the slang.

"Let's introduce ourselves then." said Rarity.

"That's ok!" said Pat with a smile, "Techie told me all about you ladies."

"Oh really, then who am I?" asked Rainbow Dash, confident he wouldn't get it right.

"Who doesn't know about Rainbow Dash, the fastest Pegasus livin' today?"

Rainbow Dash grinned and took the compliment well, also understanding he was telling the truth.

"What about me?" asked Fluttershy gently.

Party Pattern lowered his voice so to not intimidate her and said, "You're Fluttershy. So sweet and caring."

She shrunk back in response and tried to look away from him.

Continuing around the table, he came to Applejack and said, "You're Applejack, the country girl Techie's always telling me about. He says you're a really hard worker, something an official party pony doesn't know much about."

Applejack wasn't sure whether that was supposed to be an insult or a compliment, but acknowledged the fact that he got her name right.

Pinkie Pie leaned over the table and shouted, "Know who I am?"

"You've gotta be Pinkie Pie!" he replied, "I hear you make the best treats in Equestria, girl! After a quick breath, he added, "But I also here you throw a wicked party. Keep that up sweetie and you'll be the official party pony of Ponyville in no time!"

"You mean it?" she asked with unsurpassed excitement.

He gave one quick nod, "I mean it. Keep up the good work."

Rarity rolled her eyes at the colt's completely informal speech and coughed. "How could I forget about the lovely Rarity? Designer of this awesome suit?" he said softly as he changed to a polite tone of voice. Rarity looked back at him, and Pat grabbed her front leg and kissed it gently.

She blushed and withdrew her leg, "You're very kind, Mr. Pattern. I do believe I have misjudged you."

"It's all good!  First impressions can be a bit... deceiving!" He replied with a smooth tone of voice.

At that moment, the princesses arrived at the club to the cheering of the other guests attending the event. Cameras flashed and shutters clicked as they were escorted in by their guards, Jools and Jops. They were brought over to a special seating area with the best view of the dance floor. Princess Luna took the loveseat on the far right of the booth and laid out across it, turning her head to see Octavia's orchestra. Celestia took the other couch in the specialized booth and asked for a drink from a nearby waiter. As she waited for the music to start, Clubs approached her cautiously, and as soon as he got within 5 feet, Jools turned and made sure he came no closer.

"Easy Jools." Said Celestia gently, letting her guard step back just a bit so that Clubs could approach her.

"Everything ok your majesty?" asked Clubs cautiously.

Celestia never understood why others were so afraid of her, but answered, "I'm doing very well, and once again, thank you so much for agreeing to host the charity event here."

"We'll be starting our entertainment soon." Said Clubs with a terrified grin, "just hang on for a second."

Clubs dashed off to find his manager and chew him out for making the princesses wait.

Celestia nudged Jools on the back and asked him quietly, "Do you ever find it entertaining how nervous my subjects are around me?"

Jools turned his head and gave her a hint of smirk as his answer. Across from him, his brother Jops protected Luna. His head started to itch a bit from his helmet, but he refused to scratch it no matter how bad it was getting.

The overhead lights dimmed in the club, and two floodlights illuminated the pathway to the dance floor.

"Good evening, Ponyville residents!" said the manager's voice over a speaker, "and thank you for coming to the Angel's Flight charity event. Now, for your entertainment, make some noise for Twilight Sparkle!"

The crowd in the nightclub made cheers and tapped their hooves on the ground to welcome Twilight to the floor. Pat gave the largest whistle it was possible for a pony to make. The spotlights pulled up and followed Twilight, who walked onto the dance floor. She was wearing a beautiful white dress made from very fine material and inlaid with several diamonds. Twilight stepped up to the microphone on the middle of the dance floor, then looked and nodded at Octavia. In response, Octavia turned to her friends in the orchestra and began to play the music.

Twilight began to sing, filling the club with her sweet voice,

"I just want you to know how much I care."

Pat let his jaw hit the table in awe as he listened to Twilight's singing. Pinkie Pie spotted this and giggled until she was hushed by Applejack.

"No matter what happens, I'll always be there."

The Sinatra-esque song impressed the princesses very much. Luna smiled at the music and decided to help Jops by scratching the itch on his head. The guard relaxed and continued to listen to the tune.

"Cause I love you baby, and love's in the air!"

Outside of the club, a group of five unicorns approached the bouncer, still clutching his list.

"Can I help you sirs?" he asked of the team.

"We're a little late, so we might not be on that list." said the leader of the five.

The bouncer replied, "I can't let you in then."

"Maybe a little reparations are what is needed." said the leader as he tossed the guard a sack of money.

"All right, sneak in through the back. There's a girl singing right now and I don't want you to interrupt her." Instructed the guard, who then walked away to go count the bribe.

"Cause I love you baby, and love's in the air!"

Twilight finished the last verse of her song. She was met with thundering applause and whistling from the partygoers.

After it quieted down a bit, she said into the microphone, "Well, enjoy the night. We'll have dancing here on the floor for the entire duration of the event." She waited for some of the ponies in the crowd to get on the dance floor before trying to leave herself. As she did, she thought about joining her friends at the table, but instead decided to go talk to the princesses.

Twilight walked over to the royal box seats and addressed Celestia, "Good evening."

Celestia replied, "That was an amazing song, Twilight Sparkle."

Luna added rather loudly, "It seems you have other talents besides magic."

Twilight scraped her hoof on the ground and looked at the floor, her face red, "Thanks."

Back at her friends' table, they were also in discussion about the great quality of Twilight's singing.

"That was a great show!" said Rainbow Dash, spreading her wings in joy.

"Hey, put those away!" Said Pinkie Pie in annoyance as the left wing smacked her in the face.

"Sorry." Rainbow Dash retracted her appendages and stowed them at her sides.

"Well, what did you think Pattern?" asked Rarity, turning to address the colt.

"I think that was the best song ever!" he replied with a quirky tone of voice, "how about you Rarity?"

"Oh, I absolutely loved it, and I'm glad you thought so too." she answered with a smile.

They sat in silence for a second before Pat slammed his right leg into the table and asked, "Hey, you girls thirsty?"

"Yeah, let's go get some punch!" replied Rainbow Dash.

"Allow me." He shouted, darting out of his chair at lightning speed. He returned in the blink of an eye and set down 7 glasses of punch for everyone at the table.

"Thanks..." said Applejack uneasily at the colt's display of pure speed.

As they sipped their drinks and enjoyed conversation, Rarity drained her glass first and said, "I'm going to go get some more, this is quite good."

"Imma comin' with ya!" said Party Pattern with a tiny shake of his head as he finished his drink.

They got up from the table and walked over to the table where the punch bowl was set up. Rarity reached for the ladle to fill her cup back up. Behind her in line was a mare and her three friends. The two cronies were initially brown nosing their leader's choice in dress, but upon seeing Rarity's homemade one started to compliment her instead.

"That's a lovely dress!" said one of them.

"Thank you, I made it myself." Replied Rarity as she turned to face her.

Getting jealous, the lead mare purposefully spilled her punch all over Rarity.

"Oops, clumsy me!" she said sarcastically, "Well, these things happen."

Rarity coughed and looked at the state of her wear, the beautiful yellow clothing had been soaked through completely with the punch. Crying, Rarity ran behind a fake tree and hid from the crowd. Pat's expression went to one of pure happiness to that of maniacal plotting. He rushed from the punch table in a blur and tried to comfort Rarity.

"Oh Pat, she ruined my dress. I can't go back out there now!" she told him as she sobbed.

"Aw, come on and stop crying, you're gonna smear your makeup!" he replied.

After a pause, an idea came to his head. "I'm going to clean that for you." Instantly, Pat pulled the dress off of Rarity and disappeared from the room in a flash.

Rarity covered herself in shame and cried, "Great, first I get punch all over me, and now he's left me here in the nude!"

Pat returned moments later with the dress clutched gently in his teeth. Putting a hoof on Rarity's head, he spun her around and thrust the clothing on top of her. When she stopped, the dress had been cleaned of all the punch, and returned to her body.

Rarity said to him in joy, "Thank you so much! You've saved me a lot of face."

"Not yet I haven't." he replied, looking backwards at the jealous mare. Pat got up and galloped over to the punch table, where he got the attention of the three ladies by hanging his left front leg over the punch table. Leaning on it, he looked at his other hoof and said, "Hey ladies, how's it going?"

"Go away freak." said the leader with a snobby tone of voice.

Pat gave a large toothy grin, and with one quick motion, picked up the entire bowl of punch and dumped it over her head. The mare shrieked, and stood there dripping wet with red punch.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded, still recovering from the shock of the icy punch chilling her flesh.

"Oops, clumsy me!" parroted Pat, mocking her with her own words. He then gave her a clicking noise with his tongue before dashing back to his friends seated at the table.

As he jumped back into his chair, Applejack asked, "Where's the punch you were gonna get?"

"Oooh, what a shame, they ran out." He lied, smiling as innocently as possible. Rarity got back to her seat as well, then settled in to the chair with a sigh as she enjoyed the feel of her freshly-washed dress.

The party continued for an hour before the dancing and music became extremely boring. Even the games to support the charity were starting to get old, and ponies dropped out of line. There wasn't really any sort of reason for the friends to dance, so they just sat there bored and about to fall asleep.

"This is so boring." said Fluttershy, "at least Twilight got to sing."

"I can fix that!" shouted Party Pattern, getting up and rushing over to the orchestra. Once they were sure he was out of earshot, Pinkie Pie said to the others, "Hey, have you girls noticed how much Pat's like me?"

"Of course darling." said Rarity, "He's silly, hyper, and kind. Just like you."

"Somethings' up!  Nopony ever gets that close to how I am.  What's his secret?" said Pinkie, staring out at him from across the room.

"Guess you could find out by getting' up close." Suggested Applejack, "why don't you ask him to dance while you're here?"

"Great idea!" yelled Pinkie.

Meanwhile, Pat had reached the orchestra and was making some "changes" to it. He replaced all the sheet music with some faster songs he had found in the club, and told Octavia to "Hit it!"

Playing the new music, the club was filled with fast-paced Jazz and big band. Pat rushed over to the royal box and said to the princesses, "Good evening your majesties, mind if I borrow Twilight here?"

Celestia tried to give an answer, but he had already grabbed Twilight and whisked her away to the dance floor. The happy, fast music got the entire club dancing out on the floor. Pat had certainly figured out how to revive the party.

"Woah! Did you see that, Pat just saved us from our boredom!" shouted Rainbow Dash as she jumped from the table, "Let's go dance!"

The others agreed and jumped onto the dance floor for some fun. Party Pattern and Twilight did some swing dancing as the song progressed. Using his impressive cartoon speed, Pat was able to do some very fancy moves. The princesses watched in awe as the light blue colt transformed the boring event into something very entertaining. Pat's yellow suit lifted up a bit for a second during the dance, and Celestia noticed something about him. When the song concluded, all eyes were on Pat and Twilight. He had leaned over with her and planted a kiss on her lips. This made the five other friends very angry, as they knew Twilight was already in a relationship with Techorse.

Pat released Twilight Sparkle and watched as she slowly walked back to the table.

She sat down with her friends and said, "So, enjoying the party?"

Twilight frowned as she looked at the angry and disappointed faces around the table.

"Hey, next time, slap the guy when he does that." said Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, he claims to be Techorse's friend, but now he's hitting on you!" agreed Pinkie Pie, "Some friend he is!"

"Oh, that." Said Twilight nervously, "it doesn't mean anything you know. The silly colt just got caught up in the moment."

"We don't blame you." said Fluttershy quietly, "We blame Party Pattern. If he knew anything about Tech, he wouldn't be kissing you like that."

“Hmmm, so Party Pattern is his name huh?” wondered Twilight Sparkle.

“Yeah, or Pat, or Partyin' Pat. I dunno, he's just a big jerk for this!” groaned Rainbow Dash.

"Not only that" interrupted Applejack, "he really didn't give you a lot of choice, Twilight. You were at his mercy there."

Twilight nodded and brushed a bit of sweat from her head. It was going to be a long night after that kiss.

Suddenly, the lights went off in the club, causing some patrons to scream in panic. When the lights turned on, the five unicorns from before had assembled in the center of the dance floor.

The leader told his troops, "All right, boys, let's go to work. Make sure the princesses don't leave."

Jools and Jops sprang into action to defeat the gang of unicorns. The leader of the enemy team saw them charging for his men and pushed a button on the floor in front of him. A net dropped from the ceiling and pinned the guard down to the floor. Celestia and Luna watched this in horror from the sidelines, wanting to do something to help, but unsure of what course of action to take. Obviously, Celestia could have simply blasted the rouges with an energy beam, but she was much gentler than that. Luna considered zapping them too, but decided not to for a different reason; in order to avoid making a nightmarish mess of the nightclub. The leader and two of his strongest unicorns approached the princesses.

He introduced himself to them, "My name's Coaltorch your majesties. The others and I are just going to take all the money from this club and then let you go. But just to make sure you don't try anything funny. We've planted magical dynamite underneath of your seats. If anypony lifts one hoof to stop us, I'll activate it. Cooperate and everyone wins."

Luna screamed at them, "How dare you steal from a charity event you heartless fiends!"

Coaltorch looked back and forth between his two cronies and laughed. "Look who's talking about being a heartless fiend!  Good old Nightmare Moon." he joked.

Twilight charged up a magic missile to take a shot at Coaltorch's head.

"This will be over in two seconds." she said as she took aim. Before she could shoot, Pat zipped up to her and pushed her head down.

"Now hold on, sweet thing!" he said softly, "why ruin a good party with a blown-up pony? Let's just show our uninvited guests the door!"

Twilight smiled and stopped preparing her blast.

She said to him, "You're right, Pat. I almost lost it there when I saw the princesses in trouble."

"I'm glad we've decided not to mess them up too badly." Interrupted Rainbow Dash, "But we have to do something, or the charity event will be ruined by those guys!"

"But what?" asked Rarity, "You heard what he said, one little move, and he'll use those bombs!"

"Not if Partyin' Pat has anything to say about it! I'll take care of those firecrackers!" said the colt as he rushed away in a blur of light blue.

"We need to buy him time to put his plan into effect." explained Twilight to her friends, "If they notice him trying to remove the bombs from underneath the box, the princesses might get hurt."

Fluttershy nearly burst into tears at the terrible thought.

"I have an idea." Whispered Rarity, "But you may not like what we have to do. It involves you and I, Applejack."

"Oh boy." she said, rolling her eyes.

Coaltorch and his team of four continued to stare down the princesses while the fifth member of their team went and collected the money from the games. As they waited for him to return, they heard a whistling from behind them. Coaltorch and company turned around and saw Rarity and Applejack in extremely seductive poses. Applejack had untied her hair and tail, letting the flowing golden silk hang from her head. Rarity had purposefully overdone on red lipstick, and was messing with one of her curls with a front hoof to gain attention. Coaltorch's crew immediately were struck with lust, and their mouths fell open in desire.

Applejack looked at the drooling colts and thought to herself, "The things I do for the princesses."

"Excuse me boys." cooed Rarity as she walked up to them, "Can we be of some help to you?"

One of the goons responded, "Yes, dance for us!"

Coaltorch slapped his minion and said to him, "I'm trying to keep anyone from moving and messing up our plan, and that includes these girls. Control yourselves!" The minions ignored him and surrounded Rarity and Applejack.

"So, which one of you boys wants to dance first?" asked Applejack, winking at one of the minions. The boys began to argue over which one of them should be the first to dance with the girls. Coaltorch tried to yell at them to pay attention to the task at hand, but it was already too late.

"Just look at all this dynamite!" shouted a voice, interrupting the arguments. Coaltorch looked across the room and saw Pat standing on top of the pile of explosives that was supposed to be connected to the princess's private seats. Coaltorch looked back at the chairs. In confirmation of his fears, the sticks of dynamite were indeed missing.

Spinning around, Coaltorch yelled at him in pure rage, "How on Equestria did you remove those without me noticing?"

Pat jumped off the top of the bombs and dashed over to Coaltorch, where he stopped just a few inches in front of his face and asked, "Are we upset?"

Coaltorch's horn started to glow a deep gray color, and he picked up a nearby vase from a pedestal.

"I'll take that as a yes!" panicked Pat as he dodged the thrown porcelain.

"Stop this clown!" shouted Coaltorch to his troops, "get him!"

The goons also used what spells they knew to fire a combination of objects and weak energy bolts at Pat. Using his cartoon maneuverability and skill, Pat dodged the shots with ease and began to taunt his foes.

"You guys are terrible shots!" he teased as he ducked a vase. Turning around, Pat swished his tail at them and issued a challenge, "Come on, somebody stop me!"

Party Pattern ran for the other side of the club without looking back. Coaltorch and his team pursued him over to the games area. With the coast clear, Fluttershy approached the net which contained Jools and Jops and freed them by cutting the ropes with a steak knife she had borrowed from a table. The guards thanked Fluttershy and replaced their helmets. As the three began to formulate a strategy to defeat Coaltorch, Twilight walked over to the princesses.

"Are you ok?" she asked of Celestia.

"I'm fine." She replied, "I knew you and your friends could stop him, and even if things had gone wrong, all that 'dynamite' is fake.  Luna sensed it and alerted me to the situation."

"That's great, but you should get out of here before anything more happens!" urged Twilight, pointing to the front door of the club with her horn.

"We desire to see how this turns out." said Luna, speaking for her sister.

Meanwhile, Pat had been cornered by the five unicorns. They picked up sets of throwing darts from nearby boards and prepared to puncture him many times over with them.

"So, Party Pattern, is it?   Before I turn you into target practice, do you have any last words?" asked Coaltorch with a smirk, readying his set of darts.

"Yeah!" he replied with a huge smile, "when you're done, make sure those two guys get a turn!"

Coaltorch felt a hot puff of breath on the back of his neck. Turning around slowly, the gang realized that Jools and Jops were standing right behind them.

"Run!" shouted one of the more easily intimidated minions.

The gang scattered in various directions to avoid getting beaten up by the two guards. Coaltorch was the last to choose a vector, and as a result, he only made it a few feet before the guards pinned him down to the floor. After subduing him, Jools and Jops dragged Coaltorch by his front legs and threw him down in front of the princesses. As he tried to regain his footing, the seven friends walked up to him from behind to make sure he didn't escape.

"Looks like you've lost, Coaltorch." noted Twilight, standing tall over him. Coaltorch sat on the floor, looked up at Celestia, and began to sweat in fear.

The princess asked the guard closest to her, "Jools, please give a report of what this one did tonight."

"This colt is guilty of robbing a public event, assault, making a threat with dynamite, and treason." stated Jools.

"Treason?" shrieked Coaltorch, "I wasn't betraying…"

Rainbow Dash interrupted him, "Oh yes you did! You tried to blow up the princesses, and that's treason!"

"I sure hope you can deal with what the punishment is for that." added Rarity, giving Coaltorch a cross look.

"B-b-but the dynamite wasn't even real!" protested Coaltorch, "They were just cardboard toilet paper tubes painted red, with a piece of string tied to them!"

"He's telling the truth!" yelled Luna, "If they were real bombs, he would have set them off much earlier."

"Even so." Said Jops gruffly, "he made a violent threat and attacked Mr. Pattern."

"Indeed." agreed Celestia, "Coaltorch, you are guilty of both of those. What do you have to say for yourself?" The colt broke down into sobbing over his impending doom.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed, "I just got so greedy! Forgive me your majesty, please!"

"Oh brother." mumbled Applejack, rolling her eyes at the groveling.

Some of the other ponies attending the event began to shout at the princesses, "Banish him already so we can go home!"

"Be patient!" shouted Twilight at the crowd, trying to keep them quiet.

Celestia took a breath and said to Coaltorch, "You threatened me and my sister in order to get money. I should banish you from Equestria, but I don't think that will be necessary."

"What?" whined Rainbow in disbelief, knowing their efforts had been wasted by the princess's mercy.

Celestia ignored her and continued, "You are not the only one who broke the law. Your friends did too, Coaltorch, but they left you to face the consequences alone. I don't want to make you suffer the full penalty because they deserve to be punished too. As a result, I'm placing you in prison at Canterlot for now. If your friends show up and turn themselves in before that though, you'll all only have to serve a few months apiece. If they don't and I catch them, they'll have to serve the full sentence. This will make sure each of you bear the penalty of your actions equally."

"I... thank you, I can accept that." Whispered Coaltorch, glad to be alive and still a valid citizen of the country.

Celestia then cast a spell around Coaltorch, and he disappeared in a flash of light, teleported away to the prison.

"Well, glad we got that all taken care of" said Applejack as she turned to her friends, "thanks so much for all yer help, Pat."

"Don't mention it!" he shouted, "Partyin' Pat's always glad to help!"

Celestia smiled at the light blue colt and said, "Ok Techorse, the charade's over. You can take off the disguise now."

Pat frowned and said, "Aw shoot, princess, how did you know?"

Pat reached up to his face and started to pull at it with his front legs. There was a suction noise as Techorse removed the poison joke mask from his face and dropped it on the ground. Twilight looked around the room as her friend's mouths dropped open in surprise.

Celestia said to Techorse, "I knew it was you when I saw you dancing with Twilight. Your outfit moved up just enough so I could see your cutie mark. Even with that mind-altering mask, you're still Techorse."

The now green again colt frowned, and his ears sunk back as he turned to Twilight.

"I'm sorry I didn't go as myself to this party." he said to her, "I just didn't want to ruin the fun by being me."

"You didn't ruin the party!" shouted Pinkie Pie, "You saved it Techie. It was getting all boring until you spiced up the music."

"Yeah!" added Rainbow Dash, "You helped save the club and the princesses too! You shouldn't feel bad."

The other ponies in the building were trying to leave the club, sure that the event was over.

"Where's everypony going?" asked Rarity aloud.

One of the colts told her, "It's all over, the place is a mess, and everyone just wants to go home."

Techorse shouted at the ponies leaving, "Now hang on a minute! Just because we had a little setback tonight doesn't mean we can't still finish this party!"

He galloped over to Octavia and switched her music over to some more fast jazz. "Come on, let's have another dance! One more before we go."

The party guests looked at each other, and then agreed to one last hurrah before heading home for the night. As the music began, Techorse asked Twilight if she'd like to dance with him again.

"Would you like to dance with me instead of Party Pattern this time, Twilight?"

Twilight said to him, "I'll still be dancing with you, I knew it was you all along the first time."

"How?" he asked her as they headed onto the dance floor.

"I could tell by the way you kissed me." she said to him, "I don't know if you know this or not, but poison joke only affects the way ponies appear. You think that mask helped you be a fun pony tonight, Tech, but it really was your own behavior."

"So, I really was fitting in this whole time?"

"Yes you were, and I'm proud of you! Now come on 'Pat', let's dance!"

Techorse turned to look at the crowd of ponies watching them and put a huge smile on his face,

"Ssssssmokin!"

The End