Ahh, Canterlot, my second home. I know it well and have had many good times there. On the surface, Canterlot is the playground for the Equestrian elite with its high-priced shopping outlets, old-money unicorns and, more recently, ladder-climbing, nouveau riche humans, and ponies making obscene profits off the new human technology market. Before and after humanity’s appearance on the world’s stage, it’s also been a great place to get tucked in! When nothing is going on in Ponyville, my reliable backup city hasn’t once let me down.

Sure, the old-money unicorns are out of the reach of most mares without money or status — not that it’s impossible for me, mind you, just more difficult — but the guardsponies and transient stallions are almost shamefully easy to win over. Tourists, other traders like myself delivering goods to a city that lacks its own land to grow food being located on the side of a mountain, and even visiting dignitaries from other lands are wide open to just about any mare with enough sense to take advantage of the situation.

None of them are there for a long time, but they are there for a good time! The best part is, you’ll probably never have to deal with them again, and you both have plausible deniability. Surely the cousin of a Saddle Arabian prince wouldn’t admit to rutting the lowly flower vendor with nice flanks and immaculately sloping neck when he has that harem back home, right?

And for the record, that only had to happen once before I realized they were packing a bit more than I could handle comfortably! He was quite the gentlecolt in any case and had a very alluring accent. I still consider that night a win even though I was sore for days.

*****

We woke up at my usual hour and bathed together, though as we were both tired, shower shenanigans were kept to a minimum. Today’s visit was going to be quite different as Richard and I took the Canterlot trotway north with the wagon in tow. To avoid traffic through town, I meant to leave early while my roommates slept, though if I’m being honest that was more of an excuse than the reason — I simply didn’t want to see Lily at that point, certainly not when I was about to take a working holiday with my new coltfriend.

My plan was foiled when, upon leaving the bathroom, Lily was greeted to the site of Richard’s shirtless body. For once, can’t the mare just sleep another hour longer? After making a hasty introduction and calming things back down, we quietly sat down with her to a cold cereal breakfast. If Lily was awkward around other ponies then she was completely flummoxed by the sight of an interdimensional creature inside her home, sitting at the breakfast table with her and asking to share her milk. I wasn’t doing much better, trying hard to not look at her and mentally begging for the entire awkward ordeal to end before I could have any more flashbacks to her to that night...

We eventually got on the road and a couple hours later finally made the base of the mountain where the great city lay. My chivalrous human coltfriend naturally offered to pull it for me to spare his fair damsel, being a hopeless romantic and all, but I put my hoof down. I looked up at Canterlot from the road which wound up the side of the mountain on a gentle slope. “I don’t care how you did things back on earth, you’re on vacation!”

The Gentleman frowned, sitting atop the crates as if he were being punished. “I get it, ‘when in Roam’ and all of that; I’m just not sure how I’m going to explain to onlookers why my girlfriend is pulling me around on a heavy-laden cart. I’ve got a set of values you might say...”

Ignoring his protests, I started the ascent up the mountain, the ropes securing the boxes to the wagon straining. “And I have a set of hooves and a harness that fits me. If anyone makes fun of you, I’ll buck ‘em in the face for you. Sound good?”

I left out the part about me being turned on by the idea of pulling him around. I really scare myself sometimes.

“Only if I get to do the face kicking, and I pay you back for your effort later.” Came Richard’s playful reply.

“Deal.” I felt my muscles in my back begin to tense up from the added weight as I’d climbed. Earth pony stamina was considerable but not infinite and pulling a cart was in no way my special talent! I was going to be sweating and aching something fierce by the time I’d gotten up there, but there was no way I was going to let him down. “What do you have in mind, anyway? Perhaps another grand chase?”

“Actually I had something a bit more relaxed in mind. Roleplay is fun and all, but it’s not really who I am,” he replied placidly. “I must confess, I was very nervous about doing what I did to you that night. The thought of taking advantage of a vulnerable mare… just doesn’t sit well with me.”

I did pay for his services, didn’t I? I’d never even considered the idea that he might not have enjoyed the idea. Pity and admiration in equal measures rose up within me, soon replaced by anger. “I’m very sorry, Richard. They didn’t force you to do that did they?” If they did, I’d make them pay!

He shook his head quickly. “Oh, nothing like that. I really didn’t dwell too much on it that day until the moment I was at your door. Intellectually, I understood that I was just doing a job and doing what you asked, but on a deep, primal level it just feels unsettling to harm a woman — or mare in your case. The idea is just as upsetting for us as harming stallions is for you.”

I found the concept a bit strange as humans had a roughly equal ratio of men to women but didn’t question it. I’m sure to humans the idea makes perfect sense. Still, he could have fooled me! “But, you’re so good at it! I’d never been so convinced by a performance in my life!”

Richard gave a chuckle at that. “I’ll admit, seeing you so taken in by the whole experience gave me great satisfaction, but why have the performance when you can have the real thing?”

Getting us to the hotel couldn’t come soon enough for the both of us; I quickened my pace. “You’ve convinced me! So what did you have in mind?”

“I can’t spoil it for you. Where would be the fun in that? I’ll give you a hint though, you’ll feel like a million bits when I’m done, and will never stop asking for me to do it again,” he replied knowingly.

“That’s a bold statement, my handsome friend, but I accept your offer.” Surely nothing could compare to the feeling of being preyed upon, could it?

“You won’t regret it, Rose.”

We’d traveled about three-quarters of the way up the mountain in contented silence, the pressure on my ears causing them to pop slightly when Richard spoke again. “You make the trip up to Canterlot often?”

“Once every week at least.” I felt soreness spread across my back and shoulders as I walked; a thin sheen of sweat coated my body. “Well, Daisy does it most of the time. She’s the best built for hailing out of the three of us — tall, wide, and indestructible.”

“I take it that wasn’t the mare who nearly spat coffee all over your kitchen earlier?” the Gentleman asked with a chuckle.

“Oh no! That’s our Lily: the smallest and meekest of our happy bunch. She pulls the cart sometimes too, but she’s very shy and doesn’t like strangers. Lily’s one of those strange city folks from over the Macintosh Hills; she’s cold and distant at first, but deep down, she’s just a big sweetheart.” I broke into a wide smile, before scowling at myself and shoving my inner fooler back into the closet before she could embarrass me further.

“Aww! That’s… wait a second — wasn’t that the mare with the room we trashed? Oh, geez! I’d freak out too if I met the guy who did that!” he exclaimed in surprise. “I would have apologized for it right then and there if I’d have known.”

If he’d known about that other really messed up thing, we might not be having this conversation at all. One crisis at a time, Rose! “You can tell her when we get back. The Grand Galloping Gala awaits!”

That settled him back down. “Now there’s one gig I haven’t done yet! Honestly, Rose, after getting me a free ticket to the most exclusive event in Equestria, the least I can do is not weigh down the cart…”

“Okay, fine! Come walk with me.” I grumped, secretly happy to at least have his weight off the cart; I was really starting to get sore. “Though, I’m surprised you never got asked to go by one of your clients, or simply swooped in from the sky.”

Walking alongside he, I felt his hand run through my mane before he pressed his lips against my neck earning him an appreciative moan. “Never had a mare with those kinds of connections ask me to go — not until I met you.”

I chucked at that. “I’m hardly a pony with connections to the aristocracy; I’m just really lucky. Daisy usually goes since she runs things at the shop and is the best at flower arranging but I’ve gotten to go a couple times before the portal opened.” I got rutted both times too but chose to leave that part out. “Speaking of mares, how has work been?”

“A lot less crazy, but I’m probably better for it. I still see a few regular clients, favorites of mine, that ask for sex at the end of the night; for the most part, though, I’m just doing dinner and talking.” He found my favorite spot behind my right ear and began scratching it.

Oh, that feels good! I regarded him skeptically, “A chance for a good rutting, and they only want to talk?”

“You’d be surprised how many lonely mares there are that just want a stallion’s undivided attention, especially in the big cities. Sometimes, we even foalsit for clients.”

I got a mental image of shirtless Richard chasing a pair of pegasi foals inside some stranger’s home. “Stuntman Richard: lover, daredevil, and family man.”

“That’s me!” He thumped his chest twice with a closed fist.

Two Canterlot guardsponies, both unicorn stallions, greeted us at the gate. The pair of them wore matching helmets with gold breastplates cinched together with blue stars and carried six-foot long pikes. The unicorn on the right, a gray on gray stallion named Ring Mail, also wore a smile that I’ve given him the last time we’d met when he was off-duty; he greeted me with a crisp salute. The other unicorn watched Richard closely, unaccustomed to seeing humans entering from the old trade road. After exchanged pleasantries and undergoing a brief magical scan to confirm we weren’t changelings, we walked through onto the paved streets of Canterlot, Richard taking in the fully-clothed ponies and old buildings with great curiosity.

The sun rose up suddenly over the top of the mountain and the streets were soon filled with humans and ponies commuting, both of whom were dressed in style. The humans must really find themselves at home amongst so many others wearing clothes. “Don’t come here often Richard? You look like a tourist!”

“Not enough to get used to the buildings that wouldn’t be out of place in Moscow in a country where the inhabitants all speak my language; it’s a shock I’ll never get used to.”

“Ahh, Moscow. Ponies of the world, unite!” I exclaimed, drawing confused looks from passersby.

“Wait, what? How do you know about that?” Richard looked at me, the confusion evident on his face.

“Another one of my chats with Lyra. She says Sam, her boyfriend, would make jokes about Soviet Russia; I got curious enough that I asked him about it. He told me about the country’s history over the past century, ugly though it occasionally is. Makes me wonder if ponies if couldn’t do with an alternative method of organizing labor.” I gave Richard an evil grin.

Richard looked at me in mock terror. “Watch out, Equestria, Chairpony Roseluck is on the loose! What will be your first action as Premier? Will you collectivize the farms or nationalize the industry?”

“Oh, I’ll let others do the boring stuff. I’m going to build tanks, lots of ‘em!” I clopped my front hooves together, grinning, thinking that Linky would be so proud of me for that statement. “Then, I will make fun a mandatory part of everypony’s life.”

“The Princess of The Proletariat: bringing peace and harmony whether you ask for it or not! As long as you don’t invade the moon, I think you’ll be fine.” Richard wiggled his eyebrows at me.

That elicited a sharp laugh from me. “Luna can keep it. I can’t grow anything up there anyway. Speaking of growing, I’m going to be working for the rest of the day with the Canterlot florists, but you’re welcome to join me. Just don’t work too hard or I’ll throw you in the gulag!” I shook a forehoof in his direction to let him know I meant business.

“Sure thing comrade! Shame, Lyra only taught you about Russia’s communist history though.”

“Oh, I’ve learned other things too, but not from Lyra. She certainly got me interested in our talks though. I picked up a book on Russian history and even got my hooves on a vinyl copy of some of their folk music. It’s so… evocative!” I lifted a forehoof to my chest. “I can’t help but feel the pride of the millions of people who live there!”

“And here I was hoping to win you over with our fine, American pop music!” Richard rolled his eyes. “You have a favorite song?”

“Song of the Volga Boatman,” I replied automatically, knowing the titles of each song by heart.

Richard scratched his chin. “I’m not sure which one that is.”

“Eyyy ukhnem, eyyy ukhnem! Yeshcho ra-ah-ah-zik, yeshcho da raz!” I sang, swaying back and forth slowly to the rhythm in my head.

The tall gentleman scratched his blonde-maned head and looked at me stunned. “That depressing song? It makes me think of a task I’ll never seem to finish.”

“Huh. Sometimes, I like to hum it to myself in the middle of painfully tedious work. It gives me hope that I’ll eventually make it through; I don’t find it depressing at all.” I smiled and continued humming.

He smiled and nodded, his eyes focused on mine. “That’s very wise, Rose; I admire your optimism. Though, I may have to call you Red Scare from now on...”

“Because I’m scared or because I’m a communist?”

He gave me a pointy-toothed grin, “Both!”

I shook my head at the silly Gentleman’s sense of humor, giving him a wry smile to let him know he’d got one on me. “I’ll see you later, handsome.”

Richard saluted, grabbed the luggage from the cart, and headed towards the Shemareaton. I wiped perspiration from my brow. Now that the small matter of hauling a cartload of heavy crates uphill was done with, it was time to get to the actual work.

*****

There wasn’t much for poor Richard to do inside the Canterlot Flower Shop except staying out of our way. Most of the unicorn mares organized to turn the supply wagon into a floral display worthy of immortals were practiced with manipulating the flowers into place with magic. I admired how well he handled the crowd, in any case, deftly managing the roomful of curious mares with his well-honed charm, managing his time to deal with each without neglecting the others. As I stood there watching him at work, I remembered the menace he seemed to pose during our first encounter — the pitiless stalker of my dreams — and couldn’t help but smile.

Satisfied with our work, I collected my share of payment for the work done as well as delivering the flowers; shame, only a small part of it was for me. With some time to spare before the Gala, we decided to hit the shops and look at some of some of the new technology.

“Cellphones,” Richard pointed to the collection of small, thin rectangles inside a glass case manned by a tall, dark-skinned human man who smiled at us as we approached. “I’ve been waiting for these to become available here. Being able to call from anywhere is a priceless asset for someone like me who’s always on the move.”

“Where are all the buttons?” I asked the salesman, unsure how any of this magic was supposed to work.

“Right here on the screen, ma’am!” The man pressed a button on the side that unfolded the screen which lit up, displaying the numbers. “We even have stylus pens for earth ponies and pegasi to use. But if those are too clumsy… you can also dial by voice! Watch this!” He pressed a button and then spoke. “Call... Carl.”

A few seconds later a ringtone heard from his fellow worker, who raised his phone and nodded. They then went on to demonstrate me the video call feature, by showing me a real-time image of his coworker’s face, transmitted from his phone. “Neat, huh?”

To be honest, I found it a bit creepy. I supposed some magic was to be expected to power this ‘cell phone,’ but already decided against buying one. Why would I want a phone I could use anywhere when I’m usually in Ponyville? The high cost and monthly fee left quite an impression on me as well. “Thanks for showing me, but I’ll pass.”

“Not impressed, Rose?” Richard asked, a look of mild confusion on his face.

The concept seemed nice, I had to admit, but there was something kind of sinister about it all that I couldn’t quite put my hoof on. “I’ll stick with my trusty land-line. Can we, um… go?”

“No problem, Rose. I have something else I’d like to show you anyway.” He brushed me across my back with his hand, my skin tingling from his touch.

“Now we’re talking!” I grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and led him away from the booth.

“Goodbye!” Richard called out futilely to the salesman but made no attempt to stop me.

*****

Far from escaping the technology at the shop, the Shemareton Hotel was a veritable ocean of it. Artificial lighting from chandeliers filled the halls lined with colorful carpets. I saw ponies, mostly unicorns, talking on the new phones including a tiny, unicorn filly who struggled to open the latch with her magic before finally succeeding — her little face lighting up with glee. Who is that little foal supposed to be talking to? She doesn’t even have a cutie mark! Disgusted, I tore my eyes away from the horrible sight.

“This has to be the most modern-looking hotel I’ve seen outside of Manehatten,” Richard observed. “Ponies are really incorporating technology very quickly.”

“That’s… uh… great?” I forced an expression composing several different emotions at once, not one of them being joy.

“That definitely wasn’t the reaction I expected.” With the key in hand, Richard let us inside our room. After making only small talk from the shop back to the hotel, I knew this was coming. “What’s on your mind?”

“This is all very… overwhelming.” I looked around the room which contained even more signs of humanity’s technological conquest: small lamps and artificial cooling pouring out of vents along the walls; clocks without hands displayed the time with illuminated numbers; in the kitchen area, a huge icebox without any ice miraculously kept everything cold inside. Of course, I’d heard rumors, idle banter from ponies coming through town, and there were even Ponyvillians like Filthy Rich, who are said to possess such things — not that I’ve ever been to his mansion on the edge of town. But to actually stare upon the alien environment with your own two eyes… The room even smelled alien; my nose twitching at the slightly antiseptic smell of the place.

“Just take it in slowly; you’ll be fine, Rose.”

After circling the room a couple of times, I took another look at the magic icebox. There wasn’t any food inside of it but had small compartments along the door used to hold bottles by the looks of it. Lily could keep an entire dairy in here; she’d never worry about running out of milk again! Other compartments were designated for meat, vegetables and even customizable temperature and humidity controls.

There was even a light inside the chamber when you opened the door to let you see everything in the dark. That seemed unnecessary to me, is it keeping everything lit when I’m not looking at it? I closed the door and opened it back up quickly. Laughter from behind me drew my attention away from the icebox.

“Rose, you are the cutest thing! The light goes off when you close the door; that machine is called a refrigerator and runs off of magic until we can settle with your government on a form of energy that won’t pollute the environment.” Richard took a seat in a long beige sofa and, kicked off his shoes regarding me with bemusement.

I arched an eyebrow at him. “If you don’t have a refrigerator, then how do you know the light goes off?”

“Because science says so!” Richard replied with gusto. “That, and it makes sense as a way to save energy. The refrigerators back on earth all do that.”

I opened and shut the door again. “But this one runs on magic. Maybe it’s defective or something.”

“Call the manufacturers, we got an energy inefficient fridge over here!” Richard stood up and walked over to the fridge. “Watch this.” He opened the door and closed it very slowly until there was only the tiniest sliver of an opening remaining when the light inside cut out.

“You win this time, monster, but I’m taking your spot!” I launched towards the sofa with Richard in hot pursuit, but my four legs were faster, and I beat him to it, spreading my body out to take up the whole length of the couch.

Being the diabolical cheater he is, he climbed over the back and wedged himself between myself and the couch, wrapped me up in his arms, and slid in underneath me, all the while with me laughing gaily.

Adjusting to a more mutually comfortable lying position, I draped my forelegs around his neck and straddled his midsection — a position he was all too familiar with and didn’t mind at all — looked into his eyes, and made my request, “so how about that million bit treatment…”

“Ah yes! Well, I think you deserve a little something for all your hard work today. If you could let me back up first.”

“I suppose if it’s for a good cause.” I gave him a sly grin and dismounted.

“Okay, lie down on your stomach and let me work some of my earth human magic on you.” He returned my sly grin in like kind. “Anywhere but the couch; I need to be able to get at you from both sides.”

I liked the sound of that! I nodded and plopped down on the soft carpeting. “Better?”

“Perfect.” Positioning himself He began to knead at my back, probing the muscle beneath with his fingers. “Your back is as hard as a rock!”

“Ooh!” I gasped. “Well, I don’t get to the spa very often.”

Richard tsk-tsked me. “You’re certainly an emergency case! You must have been hurting pretty bad going up the mountain.”

“Well… I may have been a bit sore, but I don’t like to complain.” I felt a knot of pain shoot across my lower back and grunted softly. “My lower back is kinda sore…”

He traced the path with his finger exactly I’d felt the pain. “Ahh, glutes giving you trouble? Makes sense given all the hauling you do. Feels like your trapezius muscles could use some love too.” He kissed the spot where I’d felt the sharp pain. “Just let me take care of everything, Rose.”

I nickered gently, “Th-thank you, Richard.”

He started near my tail, positioned directly behind me, his hands working both flanks. Despite reason telling me otherwise, I lifted my tail to present myself to him, yearning for him to plunge himself into me. “Oh, I’ll certainly be taking care of that later,” he whispered into my ear, before kissing the base of it.

Later can’t come soon enough!

He continued his efforts to purge me of pain, working slowly up my back until reaching my shoulders, planting kisses along my spine as he went; it felt like less of a message than an act of worship; one few stallions had ever given me. I moaned and I whinnied, but he politely refused the invitation of my winking marehood. Positioning himself in front of me to loosen my shoulder muscles, he teased me even more by planting another trail of kisses along my neck at the bulge created by the jugular vein. When he was finished with my neck, he nipped at my ears playfully and turned his attention to my muzzle. By the time he was done I was feeling no pain, but also had no shortage of want for more.

“Richard…”

“Yes, Rose?”

“I feel like a million bits, and I never want you to stop.” I embraced him and we kissed slowly, sensually, my body wanting more but settling for a taste of his love.

“Told ya! But was it better than being hunted?” the inquisitive Gentleman giving me a sidewise grin.

“Hmm…” I scratched my chin with my hoof, “Why not both?”

“Can we get a shower first? I don’t like to go hunting when I stink — gives me away.” He sniffed his shirt and crinkled his nose.

“Deal!” Richard threw me my towel, emblazoned with my rose cutie mark, and the two of us went to go finish what we’d started earlier. The tradition of rutting in Canterlot has to be maintained after all.

Author's Note

Sorry, this one took so long. Thanks as always to Firesight for helping me iron this chapter out.

5/22/2018: Grammarly edit.