Virgini-Tea

by Regina Wright

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1667

Twilight might be bad at speaking but she's also hard at hearing. Luckily, Pinkie knows her tea.

On Rarity's request, Twilight goes to talk Pinkie Pie to go to Rarity's tea party.

She isn't supposed to take no for an answer but nobody said anything about what Pinkie Pie was really up to.

Published 2015-01-24 15:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-24 15:40:03 UTC

You Don't Know Your Tea, Trust Me.

Heading up the backstairs in the Sugarcube Corner bakery on a quick errand to personally remind Pinkie Pie of Rarity's tea party for tomorrow, Twilight caught the faint scent of tea brewing. It was with a wiry smile she took it in.

'So that's why Pinkie Pie hasn't been around lately.' She thought, mulling over the smell.

Rarity had asked her to go and check on the earth pony, seeing that Pinkie Pie hasn't shown her face downstairs or in town for nearly a whole day. How terrible? It was rather unheard of for Pinkie Pie to be so alone, she was told. If Pinkie Pie wasn't with someone, then she was making something for someone and she'd usually tell somebody about it.

Not even Rainbow Dash knew, her partner in crime for terrible pranks. Not even the Cakes who noted their baking apprentice became unusually quiet when she came back from the postal office with several bagged packages. From yesterday to today's late morning, absolutely nobody knew what Pinkie Pie was up to and since Twilight was the only one who wouldn't be too obvious on encouraging Pinkie Pie to come to a gathering, she was strongly volunteered.

'I didn't think Fluttershy would sell me out like that.' Twilight muttered, still feeling at odds on what to say.

Was it really odd for Pinkie Pie to have some alone time to herself?

Twilight could count into the hundreds of times she pushed ponies aside for a little privacy and time to think. The unicorn wiggled her nose as she tried to place the tea in her mind. Potent but not pungent with a leafy fume mixing into a spicy tang of something she didn't know. Whatever it was, it made her stomach rumble in excitement. She walked to the door and knocked, the smell of the tea stronger as she stood near the entrance.

“I'm a bit busy! You're not the boss of me, you-” Something crashed and a plume of thick blue smoke drifted by the unicorn as she noticed the door was slightly opened. She heard the sounds of papers ripping before a pregnant guilty pause, then the stumbling of hooves and the oddest sound in a world. A sigh. “Door's open. Unless you're- Come in, come in.”

Twilight pushed the door opened and saw Pinkie Pie fiddling with a suspended makeshift campfire, a metal pot and a iron kettle. Below the campfire, there was a flat plastic sheet catching the ashes and loose sparks that fell. Bright blue smog escaped the silvery flames beating the pot and kettle, the two dishes sitting onto of a metal plate as it flew out Pinkie Pie's opened windows. The pot bubbled and boiled, thin strands of magic crackling as the earth pony twirled around, fanning it with a tied stalk of long yellow weeds.

“Hello Twilight.” Pinkie said, her voice a breathless declaration and a quick side eye to Twilight as she whirled the weed fan as she circled the campfire. “What brings you by? Would you like a cupcake or a doughnut this fine morning? Mr. Cake is taking over my position on the counter for today and he likes to add an extra sprinkle of pumpkin spice to perk up the morning ponies, hehe. ”

“Actually, I'm here to remind you of Rarity's tea party. She wants to make sure you'll come.” Twilight felt her eyes meeting the floor and with Pinkie passing her on her umpteenth circlet, she noticed the mare's soot-caked hooves. “She thinks you're cooped up in your room for too long. You might have even forgotten what the sun is like. Those were Rarity's words by the way.”

“Ehhh...” Pinkie Pie crouched down, dropping her weed fan and directly blowing into the flame. For lack of a better word, the silver flame gurgled before briefly turning purple. “Now normally, I am not one for dropping parties, shindigs, get-to-gethers, lunch dates, soirees or orgies but... And this is a strong but... I can't make it to Rarity's tea party.”

“But aren't you making tea for the party?”

“I've sent Rarity a reply in the mail that I couldn't make it yesterday and-” Pinkie Pie paused as she took a ladle from the numerous cooking supplies she had laying on the floor. Bringing it over to the pot to tap the side three times before dipping it in. “You- You think this is tea? Really? Really?! Just like Mr. Cake...”

“It smells like it, yeah. I wouldn't call myself a tea expert but this isn't a smell that wouldn't be out of place in the Princess' private quarters.” Twilight remembered many of times she had came across the Princess drinking exotic and stinky tea that had Twilight running from the room.

“Seriously? Tea...?”

The earth pony gently scooped out a spoon-full of the liquid, poked the lid off the kettle and poured it inside. Then she quickly put the ladle to the side, grabbed the the lid and held the kettle tightly. The kettle shook in her hooves before releasing a thin strand of midnight blue smoke through the spout. Using her tail, she grabbed the handle of the kettle as she placed six cups on a side table, pouring each cup to the brim.

“Pinkie Pie, I didn't think you were the tea making type.” She said in awe, watching as Pinkie Pie poured fresh water into the kettle and placed back onto the metal pan. The earth pony darted over to her bags, pulling out dried herbs and moving a folded table to sit adjacent to the campfire. “If you wanted it to be a surprise for Rarity's party, I won't tell.”

“Surprise?” Pinkie Pie snorted, rubbing her stained hooves together as she leaned against the table. She took a thoughtful look at the tea cooling in the cup and gave Twilight a funny-looking smile. On anyone else, it would have been a sneer. “This isn't tea.” She exclaimed, shaking her head as she dragged a hoof across her forehead. “I mean the name is Virginity. Hehee. But I wouldn't call it tea. It is a tea but not tea. Do you get it?”

Huh?

“Pinkie Pie, how can a tea be a tea without- I'm not going to finish that sentence. It sounds crazy.” Twilight turned her attention to the cups Pinkie had put aside, examining the golden liquid that sat inside of them. She took a great whiff and her desire to try it was ignited. “Can I have a taste?”

“Hmmm...” The earth pony answered, hauling over a cutting board and several long stalks of fresh violets in her muzzle. She dropped the cutting board onto the table, then the flower before taking a bowl off the shelf. Pinkie Pie's tail twitch, a z-shape running up and down her tail before she grabbed hold of the bowl and turned toward Twilight. “Hmmmmmm....”

“Well?”

“Twilight, do you like being friends?”

“Where did this come from? Yes Pinkie, I like being friends with you.”

“And as friends, it's expected that friends share things. Right?”

“Yes...?”

“And we are friends, Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle, formerly a unicorn and mostly a unicorn with wings.”

“Indeed we are, Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie, earth pony.”

“Just checking.” With the bowl placed on the table, Pinkie Pie began pulling the blue petals of the violets, dropping them in. “Only virgins can drink it.”

Twilight sucked in a huge intake of air, her wings flaring out as she felt the blood rush to her face. “What do-” The unicorn replayed her friend's words and felt laughter bubbling up. Virgins? What kind of ridiculous drink would be made specifically for virgins. Twilight couldn't fathom the specifics for the type of virgins that would be served this tea. What really made one a virgin?

“It's a magical sort of drink from my neck of the dirt. I mean, world. Wait, I mean Equestria. Whatever. It's a very old recipe, probably dates all the way back before Equestria was made. You know, the old days when earth ponies had to make all the food.” Pinkie Pie tilted her head as she began smashing the petals with her hoof. “Look Twilight, you probably don't know what virgins mean-”

Twilight laughed, her cackles crowding over Pinkie Pie's words. With little hurrah, the unicorn levitated the nearest cup and took a safe sip, careful not to burn her tongue. She sloshed the tea within her mouth for a few minutes, the smell of it all entangling into her nostrils and throat. And when she swallowed, Twilight found herself reaching a nasty epiphany.

She couldn't taste anything.

“So?” Pinkie Pie asked, switching to the stalks of the flowers and stripping them into thin lines.

“This is the best tea I have ever tasted.” The unicorn proclaimed, gulping the rest of the mix and still tasting nothing. Not even water. “The brew is understated as the flavor simmers into a array of sophisticated dark tang, leaving just a bittersweet aftertaste.” Did practicing kissing with Smarty Pants really count as not being a virgin. It was a doll, for Celestia's sake! Or was it because she was trying more advanced- “This might even be better than the tea I shared with the Princess as a foal.”

“But Twilight, it's not tea. You can't taste anything-”

“You should totally bring this to Rarity's party.” Twilight said a little too quickly. “Even if it's not tea to you, I think Rarity should totally, totally be the one to make this call. It seems to me that you have a definition problem and I'll-” Twilight levitated the rest of the cups. “Show these to Rarity so she can straighten this out.” The unicorn started to back away.

“Twilight wait. Rarity is my friend too. Rarity, the unicorn.”

“And she will totally understand since we're all friends. I'm just sharing what you shared with me.”

Twilight ran away.

“Okay, unicorn.”