Cold damp ground, leaves pressed against my face. I took a guess that I was lying face down in a forest of some sort, and somewhere nearby a little girl was screaming.
It was the screaming that woke me up. Groaning, I tried to get up, but pain shot through my body and I lost conciousness.
Darkness. I instinctively tried to reach for my bedside lamp, but my arm felt like lead. And then I realised I wasn't at home
'Doctor! He's awake!' I heard a woman's voice call
'What, where am I? How did I get here?' I ask
'Relax, you're at Ponyville hospital, you were found at Sweet Apple Acres and brought here.' the voice said soothingly
'Ponyville? What kind of name is that? And why can't I see?'
'I'm afraid your eyes suffered some damage to the retinas, so until they heal, we've put dressings on them. In conjunction with the Lichtenberg figures, I'd say you had a close call with a storm. Do you remember anything about that?' A male voice, deep and full of authority
'I – yes.' I start hesitantly, trying to focus
'I was doing a bit of hiking, and I'd just set up camp for the night. The next thing to do was dig a long-drop, so I got to it. I got a few feet down, when I found something. I wouldn't have noticed it normally except the sun happened to catch it as I tossed the soil onto the spoil-heap. It was a little thing, about the size of my thumb but I could tell it was important. It was gold, and it had this strange writing and all these odd symbols like nothing I'd ever seen. The only things I recognised were the sun, moon and star on the front.'
'Then what happened?' the doctor prompted
'Well, I thought I'd show it to the DoC officer when I left, so I put it in my top pocket and got back to digging. It wasn't long before the wind started picking up, and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But the thing that really got my attention was the first thunderclap. It was so close, and I looked up in time to see a flash of orange lightning which made me stop what I was doing and just watch.'
'That probably saved your life, getting hit by lightning while holding metal would have killed you.' the nurse replied
'So I watched for a couple of minutes, completely baffled. The lightning was multi-coloured – each flash was a different hue. In fact, I was so distracted by the light show I didn't notice that the storm was coming closer until a thunderclap literally shook the ground beneath me. I started moving for my tent when a sapling a few feet to my left burst into flame, and I felt my body tingle from the electricity in the air. I decided not to take any more chances and keeping as low as possible and made a mad dash for my tent. A flash of bright light, searing pain; next thing I know, I'm face down on a forest floor with some girl screaming her lungs out – then I woke up here.'
'I see, thank you son. That'll be all for now. Just you rest up and I'll see you tomorrow.'
Two weeks later and I was feeling stronger, and my body didn't ache as much. I was even told I'd be able to take the bandages off my eyes soon. The only thing that bothered me was the feeling something was “off” about the place. A strange proportion of my meals had been vegetarian – I wondered if this was a religious hospital that had a thing against meat. And all the nurses, and even the doctor seemed to be distant with me and a little nervous. And I imagined that they must be wearing clogs or super hard shoes from the sounds their footsteps made. And perhaps the biggest puzzle was why none of them had a Kiwi accent. But still, they treated me well enough.
As I ate the last of my dinner, I resolved to ask about these niggling concerns. And it wasn't long before I had my chance – the now familiar sound of the meal trolley was coming closer
'Are you finished with your meal Mr Tylor?'
'Yes, thank you nurse. I know hospital food gets a lot of stick, but I honestly haven't had a nut-loaf that good in years!'
'I'll be sure to let the kitchen staff know you approve! I remember when you used to grumble about wanting some meat.' she giggled
I heard her take my tray from the table and place it on the trolley.
'Wait.' I called out
'Do you need something?' she asked
'Not really, I've just got some questions.'
'Questions? What sort of questions?'
There it was again, she clearly was nervous
I told her all my doubts and everything that was bothering me. The food, the way the staff treated me as if I might be dangerous – everything.
'So what's going on? Why do I feel like everyone is keeping something from me?'
'It's normal to feel a bit disorientated after going through what you've gone through. I'll talk to the doctor in the morning and he'll try to address all these questions.' she said sweetly
'But that doesn't answer -' I began, but gave up mid-sentence
Next morning I was waiting for the doctor to visit me on his rounds when I heard a hushed conversation. Thanks to being effectively blind for a fortnight, my hearing had improved remarkably.
'Yes, last night. I think he's starting to suspect. We'll have to tell him sooner or later.' I heard one of the nurses say
'Hmm, yes. I didn't think we could hide it for long. I'll break the news to him, I think he's strong enough to take the shock. Just stand by in case of difficulties.'
'Good morning! And how are you today, Mr Taylor?' the doctor said cheerfully as he entered my room
'Just tell me what you've come to tell me, I can take the shock.' I said bitterly
'Oh, you heard that?' he replied sheepishly
'Yes I heard, so what have you not been telling me?' I demanded
He let out a heavy sigh.
'I'm going to try and break this as gently as I can, but bear with me I've never had to explain this before.'
'All right, I'm listening.' I reply, calming myself
'The reason a lot of your food doesn't have meat is because no one here eats meat, we only get meat in if a foreigner needs meat as part of their diet.'
'What? Where am I? Nepal? Last I checked I was in New Zealand!'
'I'm afraid I've never heard of either place, but our country is called Equestria.'
'Ok, now I know you're messing with me! You expect me to believe that I'm in Ponyville hospital, in the country of Equestria? Sure, next you'll tell me your name is doctor clip-clop! ' I said mockingly
'It's Horse actually.' he replied tersely
'I'm sorry, I think I misheard you there. It sounded like you said your name was Horse.'
'No, you heard right. I know this will come as a shock, but the reason for the names, the food – everything – is because well - we're ponies.
'Prove it!' I demand
'What?'
'You heard me, take these bandages, and let me see for myself!'
'If that's what it will take for you to believe me, then very well.' came the resigned response
I felt the bandages begin to unravel, and soon the morning light was shinning through my eyelids.
'Ok, now slowly open your eyes.'
I did so and slowly the world came into view, a riot of colour and shape. I could see a yellowish blur in front of me. After a few minutes, I was able to focus enough to see a horned horse like animal wearing glasses and in a lab coat – he even had a stethoscope over his shoulders!
'There, now; do you see? I was telling the truth.' he said, smiling
'Talking horse!' I said before passing out
I awoke from my sleep with a start. Why was I dreaming about that? It's been a year, you'd think by now I'd have gotten over it.
No matter, I had other things to do.
'Shut up!' I said to my alarm clock as I turned it off
Groaning, I swung my legs onto the floor and forced them to walk me over to the bathroom.
After having attended to the call of nature, I made my way back to my room. As I did, I happened to notice the little object that had brought me to this strange world. I looked down at my chest, and as always the mark was still there. It looked like a rainbow coloured tree or even a lightning bolt, with the focus being precisely where the strange artefact had been. Even stranger was the ripple like mark where the bolt had left my body on my back.
Having dressed, I left my cottage for my morning jog through Whitetail Woods at exactly six AM.
It was a crisp autumn morning, and I was making good time – Might even have time to sit down and eat breakfast today.
'Yo! John!'
I inwardly groaned, Rainbow Dash, resident speed demon and hyper-competitor was flying alongside me.
'Hello Rainbow Dash.' I replied in a monotone
'Out for a morning jog eh?'
Again with the stupid questions! Why was she up so early? Damn she was irritating! This was exactly why I jogged in the mornings.
'Yep, keeping myself in shape. Working at the book store is nice, but not good for the figure, you know? So, I jog.'
'Not at that pace you're not!'
'I beg your pardon?'
'If you really want to get fit, you should have come to me! But don't worry, I'm here now!'
'Please Dash, I'm not training for the Equestria games or anything. I just want to get some light exercise in the mornings.'
'Hmm, how about a little incentive? Tell you what, if you can keep up with me all the way to Twilight's, I'll buy you lunch at Sugarcube Corner.'
'You're on!' I said, perking up at the chance of a free meal at my favourite bakery
And so the race began.
'Heh, you're doing pretty good for someone with only two legs and no wings!' Dash damned me with faint praise as I managed to keep up with her
I remained silent but simply took a sip from my water bottle as we drew closer to the town
'But, I have to level with you, I've been holding back. But now it's time to kick it up a notch!'
'Dash...I..can't..Dash! I'm at my limit... I … I give up, you win.' I gasp
'Oh no you don't!'
And with that, she swiped my water bottle.
'Hey!'
'If you want this, you'll have to catch me!' she gloated
The race was now a two person game of “keep away”, with Rainbow Dash allowing me to almost catch up to her before flying away again.
'Come on slow poke! Almost there!' She teased, flying just out of my reach
Eventually, I reached Twilight's crystalline tree castle.
'Looks like I beat you here, so no free lunch for you!'
I couldn't respond, as I was doubled over, gasping for breath.
'Hey, you OK there?' she asked, with genuine concern
'Yeah, fine. Just you know, dying.' I reply sarcastically as the burning in my lungs fades to a dull ache
'John, Rainbow Dash!'
We looked up to see Twilight and Spike on the balcony above us.
'Morning Twilight!' I called, waving
I thought I heard you two arguing out here. What's the trouble?'
'Oh, you know, just whipping this guy into shape!' Dash said proudly
'Yeah, “whipping” is about right. This is torture, what you do to me.'
'Quit yer' complaining, you'll thank me one day.'
'Not bloody likely. Seriously Dash, what do I have to do to get you to not act like a drill sergeant?
'Beat me, duh! But that'll never happen, so get used to seeing the back end of me!' she teased
'I don't think I want to get used to seeing your lanky rear end, feather-brains.'
'What was that, monkey man?' she retorted
We glared at each other for a while before Twilight intervened.
'Dash, John! You guys are friends, don't fight!'
'Oh, I'm not mad Twilight, just messing around. Right John?'
'Yeah, sure. Just messing around.' I reply, not wholly in agreement
'See Twilight? Just a little harmless teasing.'
'If you say so.' Twilight replied
'Anyway, I have important things to catch up on, so I'll catch you guys later!'
And just like that, she was gone.
'Thank God, I thought she'd never leave!' I said, slumping to the dirt
'So, John, I see you and Rainbow Dash seem to be getting along. Have you told her yet?' Twilight asked, gliding down towards me
'Told her what?' I asked, bewildered
'You know, that you love her!' Spike said consiprationally
'What? No, no, no, no – just no.' I replied
'Oh come on! I see how you are around her, acting as if she annoys you. It's sweet actually.' Twilight teased gently
'That's not an act, she really can get under my skin sometimes. The only thing we have in common is that we have a strong sense of loyalty.'
'Don't forget you've both got lightning marks on you!' Spike put in helpfully
'Again, that's different! For her it's a sign that she's super fast. For me it's a permanent reminder that I got zapped to a new world by some freaky lightning.'
'So you don't love her then?' Twilight asked, confused by my vehemence
'No. Look, it took me seven months to even consider the possibility of a relationship with a mare, and there's at least a dozen mares higher on my list than her. I'd give anything not to be constantly thinking about her, and if she's going to spring some physical fitness test on me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go, we've got brand new shipment of books that have to go on the shelves before opening.' I said bluntly
