Author's Note
Are you Serious?
The cold rain blasted across her face as she exited the apartment complex. The increasing urge to cry was shoved away by the urge to laugh. Which was shoved away by the urge to cry soon after.
Her emotions were thrown across the wind like a delivery man who has completely stopped giving a crap. As soon as they tears came flooding, they were quickly sucked back in and a smile crossed her lips. The noise coming out of her mouth was like a confused child leaving a bus after an adult gave him confusing instructions during an actual emergency.
The pitter patter of rain danced across the cement sidewalk. The gray sky loomed over her. It to seemed to be just confused as her emotions. Should I rain, should I be sunny? Just choose one emotion, woman!
After twelve deep breaths and leaning against a cold, wet wall for a couple minutes, the girl was finally ready to face life again with a straight face. The rain started to let up.
But at the thought of the word again, she about relapsed with the conflicting feelings. She shoved the word out of her head and thought of something else. Like how on God's Earth a dog got on her "friend's" face.
“This makes no sense. The battle of the bands was months ago. Shouldn't punishment come instantly?” she asked herself.
"Aria?" a voice shouted behind her.
"What do you want, Sonata?"
"Ado-"
"Don't say it," Aria snapped.
"Don't say what?"
"You know what."
"Okay. It's just that Adagio says she's hungry, so I was going to ask if we could go out for some tacos."
"Fine." Aria stood back up. "We can go, but you're paying."
"Okay! Come on, Adogio."
Aria nearly collapsed.
"wow. much fell down. very imbalance. wow."
“I can’t believe this.”
"Neither can I!" Sonata shouted.
"woof."
It was embarrassing. No, that's an understatement. She was humiliated. No, that's an understatement as well. She had lost all the respect from anybody within a fifty mile radius of her. No, one-hundred. No, one-thousand!
The entire restaurant was staring at them. They all said nothing. How could they? There was not a word to describe the travesty in all its holiness.
Except for this one. Dipplebuffins.
They had ordered two plates full of any kind of taco that Sonata's heart desired at a local taco joint.
"Get away from her!" Aria snapped at a little boy who was trying to pet Adagio.
The boy withdrew his hand and turned back around to eat his food.
"Why is everybody staring at us?" Sonata asked innocently.
"I cannot possibly fathom why," Aria said sarcastically.
"so offense. y stare? I cry evertim."
"Make them stop. They're hurting her feelings." Sonata scooted towards Adagio, wrapping her arms around the... creature and hugging it like a scared mother.
"I don't think I can do anything to make them stop staring. I would stare too if I was one of them." Aria leaned back in her seat.
"Adogio, just roll with the punches" Sonata exclaimed, scarfing down another taco.
"Slow down. You might choke on those things if you don't chew."
On second thought...
"Nevermind. You keep doing what you're doing."
"Man, I sure do love tacos!" Sonata said, throwing another one down into her mouth.
"I can see that."
"Like, I reeeeeally love tacos."
"I know." Aria said, starting to lose her patience.
"Oh my goodness, they're like... so gooood."
"Okay, shut up."
"For realzies."
And in that moment, Sonata had a look of pure ecstasy on her face. She closed her eyes. Her smile only grew wider and wider.
And then suddenly, she was a horse.
Aria thought the entire restaurant was weirded out by a dog on someone's face. But they were really weirded out by an adorable light-blue pony chowing down on some tacos like a vacuum sucking up dust.
The entire restaurant went silent for almost two whole minutes. Jaws dropped, babies stopped crying, flies crawling on walls could be heard, and the answer to the "if a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?" question finally became evident. The answer is neither. Because snakes don't have armpits.
"What?" the pony asked the restaurant, chewing on another taco.
Every patron in the restaurant left as quickly as they could. Including the employees, who still had unfinished orders and equipment left running.
Aria could feel the tears coming from her eyes and the contractions of her diaphragm coming from her mouth.
"Oh hey, tacos." Sonata threw her face into the plate of tacos. The tacos instantaneously disappeared into the mouth of the pony.
"so horse. eat dose tacos. woof," Adagio said.
Aria sat at her couch, staring at the TV which was making white-noise. A dog-human to her right and a crazy, taco induced pony to her left.
"Tacos, I need them, where can I get them, I need them, I neeeed them!" Sonata shouted.
"2confuze4me. need stop. wow."
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"don't no. no much clue. we're bof dumb. wow."
"Where are my sweet, sweet tacos!
"You ate them all."
"Then how come there aren't anymore right in front of me?"
"You've wasted enough money, you're not getting anymore."
"You will get me my sustenance, or I will see that you will never walk again!"
Aria turned to face the pony. "Who do you think you are, trying to threaten me?"
"You don't think I'm serious!? I will break you!"
"Tr-"
Before Aria could begin her sentence, Sonata stood up. She grasped the underside of the table that they would normally use as a foot-stand. Before anyone could say anything, Sonata flipped the table across the room like an angry board game player. The table flipped three times before it hit the wall, creating a large dent in it and shaking the whole apartment.
"Your incessant meddling in my sacrosanct goal in life is fruitless! I shall pave the streets with your blood as recompense for your transgression here today! Forfeit the tacos unto me or face mine iron hoof!"
Aria was shocked. 5% by Sonata's sudden strength, 5% for her threat, and 90% by her vocabulary. Aria was surprised that Sonata knew such words. If she wasn't trying to kill her, Aria would have given her a big hug and a gold star.
"I crave tacos! Give them to me!" Aria could have sworn that she saw smoke coming out of her nose.
"Okay, okay. I'll go to the store and pick them up. Now calm down?"
"Thank you. I would like a hard-shell taco with beef and cheese and lettuce and guacamole. Oh, I can already feel the delicious treat going down my throat like a cold bottle of water."
"I'll be back as soon as I can. Please... don't leave this room. Or break anything."
"okie dokie. will do. much obedient. good doge. wow." Adagio's dog face turned and stared at Sonata.
"Don't look at me you corpulent mutt."
"Please don't destroy the place."
"Then hurry up and acquire my tacos. Time is wearing thin, so you must hurry. If you are not back soon, there will be consequences. Delicious consequences." Sonata spat, licking her lips like a freak.
Aria didn't need to be told twice, so she pulled their front door wide open with a mighty heave. She zoomed to the stairs, practically sprinting down them when she decided she didn't want to know what Sonata said by delicious consequences. On any other occasion, this would be a cute thing that Sonata would do. But now that she's a cute pony that could throw tables about fifty feet and crush a man's pinky by blowing on it, Aria decided it was best to not make her angry.
As Aria began her quest to a different taco joint than the last one she went to, the same thought passed through her head. What the actual hell is going on.
"Make it snappy! My tummy hungers for bloodshed!" Sonata shouted from the third floor.
Aria thought of no words to describe anything. Words became a thing of the past.
But perhaps a word that Adagio has been saying a lot lately might fit the situation perfectly.
'Wow."
