The Ending According to Me

by TheOnly

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3542

Every single ending of each episode altered to my whims.

Every single ending of all the episodes of Friendship is Magic is changed. And what happens now is dictated by me, but changing the endings of every episode can really change a show. Even if the endings are for the better.

(Season 2 coming soon!)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-04 19:52:47 UTC

"The Ticket Master"

"Well what do we do now?" asked Rainbow Dash.  Twilight refused to decide between which friend she would bring to the Grand Galloping Gala.

"I got it!" exclaimed Twilight.  "I'll ask Princess Celestia for more tickets!"  The other ponies watched as Twilight wrote a letter to the princess asking for more tickets to the gala.  They all awaited the response after Spike had sent it through the night air.  Within a few moments Spike burped out a letter from the princess.

Twilight lifted it with her magic and opened the scroll.  Inside there were five extra tickets.  All the ponies gathered around and saw the tickets, squealing in joy.  Twilight read the letter aloud.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, here are five extra tickets to the Deal With It show, Princess Celestia."

"Applebuck Season"

Applejack trotted up to Twilight.

"Twilight, I really need your help bucking all these apples, I'm sorry I didn't realize this before."

Twilight looked at Applejack and agreed to help her.  The two ponies went back to the farm and started to buck the apples.  Suddenly Bic Macintosh showed up and saw the two ponies working hard in the apple orchard.  Finally healed from his injury, he was ready to buck apples.

As he trotted into the field, he snickered while he watched the two ponies work.  Twilight turned to him.

"What's so funny, Bic Mac?"  Big Macintosh simply smiled and stomped his hooves on the ground.  The ground began to shake as the power from his hooves spread out over the farm, causing every single apple in a mile radius to fall to the ground and perfectly into a basket.  If the apples weren't near a basket, they found one in fear of Big Macintosh.

"Eeyup," he said, trotting away.

"Griffon the Brush-Off"

Fluttershy beats the living shit out of Gilda half way through the episode, so there is no ending.

*roll credits*

"Boast Busters"

With the last bits of her energy, Twilight sent the Ursa Minor back to its cave as Trixie watched.  After she had completed the act, Twilight fell to the ground.  Trixie came over to help her, and using a magic spell helps Twilight back up and nursed her back to health.

Twilight forgave Trixie for boasting so much, and Trixie promised not to do it anymore.

Trixie decides to live in Ponyville, and that night Pinkie throws a massive party for Trixie.

"Dragonshy"

Fluttershy leaped onto the dragons snout and began to yell.

"You do NOT HURT MY FRIENDS!" she yelled.  The dragon shied away, scared of Fluttershy.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" asked Fluttershy.  The dragon tried to speak, but only managed to whimper.  He started to cry.  Fluttershy tried to comfort him, but he just continued to cry. Rainbow Dash became fed up with the crying and kicked the dragon in the face, which caused him to start breathing fire.  All the ponies screamed and ran away.

There was a flash of light and Celestia appeared in the sky.  "What's with all the noise?" she said.  The dragon stopped breathing fire, and Celestia understood.  She banished the dragon to the moon.

"But Celestia, if you could have gotten rid of the dragon in the first place, why did you send us up here?" asked Twilight.

"Because Twilight, it's fun watching you guys climb a mountain."

"Look Before You Sleep"

The wind rushed into the room through the open window.  Rain found its way in, too, and the tree that came through the window made nothing easier.

"We're going to have to work together if we want to do this!" yelled Twilight over the wind.  There was no response.  Twilight looked around the room, but neither Applejack nor Rarity were there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Haha Twilight will never know!" said Applejack, galloping through the rain.  Rarity followed close behind.

"I hope Twilight doesn't find out that I'm using Spike's bed as an umbrella," said Rarity, Spike's bed floating above her head.

They galloped into Rarity's home where they shook off all the rain.  Then they proceeded to have their own sleepover.  And nothing sexual happened.

"Bridle Gossip"

The ponies stared out the window at the lone zebra.  They cowered in fear behind the curtains, peaking out to catch a glimpse every few moments.  They whispered among themselves, arguing over whether Zecora was evil or not.  As Twilight and Pinkie discussed her, Applebloom tiphooved her way to the door and was about to sneak away.

"Come back here Applebloom," said Applejack.

"Okay," said Applebloom.

*roll credits*

"Swarm of the Century"

Pinkie Pie trotted along a pathway, playing her array of instruments.  The parasprites bobbed up and down to the sound of the music, but did not follow her.  Pinkie played and played but the parasprites refused to follow her.  They continued to wreak havoc in the town.  Twilight started to lose it, there was no solution to the problem.

Big Mac woke up from his nap and trotted into the central square.  Blinking his droopy eyes he saw all the parasprites flying around the town.

Hey let out a booming "Eeyup" and all the parasprites stopped moving.  Then, Bic Mac put on the mother of all menacing faces and the parasprites flew far away.

All the other ponies stared as Big Mac went back to his nap.

Pinkie Pie played the instruments all night long, and Twilight nearly went to her house to destroy every last one, but she contained herself.  No sleep wasn't all that bad.

"Call of the Cutie"

"Alright!  What should we call our group?" asked Sweetie Belle.  Scootaloo and Applebloom looked at her from across the table, both of them deep in thought.

"How about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" suggested Applebloom.  Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked at her.

"No, that's dumb," said Scootaloo.  Sweetie Belle agreed.

"How about Fun Cutie Katchers?" said Sweetie Belle.

"I like that one!" said Scootaloo.

"Are you kidding me?  That's worse than mine!" yelled Applebloom.

"Shut up Applebloom you're outvoted," said Sweetie Belle.  She then hoofbumped with Scootaloo before jumping off the chair.  The other two followed.

On their way out, Sweetie Belle punched Diamond Tiara in the face, and Applebloom kicked Silver Spoon.  Scootaloo didn't help, she was too busy pecking at some sandwiches.

The FCK left Sugar Cube Corner, off to find their cutie marks.

"Fall Weather Friends"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash ran full speed through the fields of trees.  They were right next to each other, and the finish line was inching closer.  Both of them were tired, their legs aching from all the running.

Rainbow Dash threw her body sideways, bumping into Applejack.  With a shove of her own, Applejack retaliated.  It was an all out sprint to the finish, and both ponies were going at it.  They fought while they ran, hitting each other and bumping into each other.  The other ponies were far behind them.

With the last bits of their energy, they pushed themselves over the limit as they crossed the finish line.  Both of them skidded to a halt, panting.  Twilight Sparkle trotted up to them.

"Wow, it was close, but it's an exact tie!"  Both of the ponies groaned as Twilight gave them the news, but then Rainbow Dash realized something.

"Wait a second Twilight, how did you... What the- Did you get first?"

"You bet I did!" said Twilight, showing Rainbow and Applejack her blue ribbon.

"But, but, but how!" stammered Applejack,"You aren't athletic at all!"

Twilight smiled.  "I just teleported over here."

"Suited for Success"

"We're sorry for being so demanding," said Twilight.  The others nodded their heads.  Rarity stood in front of them, her gaze softened.

"It's okay guys, I forgive you."  The ponies hugged and as they departed Rainbow Dash spoke up.

"Thanks for the dresses by the way, they're awesome!"  She gave a big smile.  Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash and then at the others.

"Yes, well, um, I'm going to need those back.  I just realized if I keep making free dresses I'm not going to be able to run a business anymore."

"But Rarity!  We're your friends!" said Twilight.

"Yes Twilight, and friends love friends regardless of the stuff you get, right?"  Twilight bowed her head, that was a lesson she should have learned a long time ago.

"Now," began Rarity,"Give me the dresses before I go bankrupt."

The ponies took off the dresses and reluctantly gave them to Rarity.

"Good," she said.  She then proceeded to rip up all the dresses.

"That's for making me sing a song," she said, trotting out of the room.

"Feeling Pinkie Keen"

Twilight sighed and looked into Pinkie's eyes.  "Pinkie, I don't understand how you do it, but you just do, and I accept that."

"You believe?" said Pinkie.

"Yes," said Twilight.

Pinkie Pie started laughing hysterically.  She gave out a whistle and pegasi flew out from behind clouds.  Ponies in black costumes came out from behind rocks.

"Silly Twilight, this was all a big trick!  And we got you!"  Pinkie Pie let out a snort and continued laughing.

"Wha-" Twilight looked around as pegasi holding random objects to drop on ponies' heads came out from the clouds above.  She gaped in horror.

"Oh Twilight, how are you going to live with yourself.  You admitted to believing in something that defies science!"  Pinkie PIe continued to laugh.

"Sonic Rainboom"

"Best day ever!" cheered Rainbow Dash.

"Haha alright Rainbow Dash that's enough," said Princess Celestia.  Her horn glowed and a flash of light consumed Cloudsdale.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes.  She was laying in her bed.  "What!?  It was all a dream!" she yelled.  She kicked her hooves out in frustration.

Princess Celestia laughed hysterically in her castle.  It hadn't been a dream at all, Rainbow Dash just thought it was.  And everypony's memory was wiped.  She fell to the ground in tears, still laughing.

"Stare Master"

Fluttershy led her chickens back into the coop.  It had been a long day, and she was tired from all the Cockatrice and chicken chasing.  One of the chickens refused to get in the coop.

Fluttershy sighed and proceeded to use "the stare", forcing the chicken into the coop.  Sweetie Belle watched the scene in confusion.

"Uh, Fluttershy, why are you using the stare on Scootaloo?"

"Don't be silly, Sweetie Belle, this is a chicken," responded Fluttershy.  Once the reluctant chicken got into the coop Fluttershy smiled and closed the door before trotting away.

"A Dog and Pony Show"

Rarity trotted away with her friends, each of them pulling a cart of jewels.  After outsmarting the Diamond Dogs, they had been able to gather enough jewels to last an entire decade.  Rarity smiled with glee.

"Rarity, what are you going to do with all these gems?" asked Twilight.

"You'll see," said Rarity.  They all laughed and continued to pull the carts.

"Green Isn't Your Color"

"Fluttershy, I promise to never keep my feelings a secret again!" said Rarity.  The two ponies embraced and made their promise official.  Photo Finish trotted into the room, but the ponies simply laughed as Fluttershy quit her modeling career.

The two ponies trotted down the streets of Ponyville.

"Fluttershy."

"Yes Rarity?"

"Now that we promised to be open about our feelings, I guess I should tell you this.  I have a huge crush on you."

"No you don't."

"Okay."

Fluttershy smiled.  The stare works every time.

"Over a Barrel"

"We need a solution," said Applejack,"The buffalo are going to attack Appleloosa if we don't think of something!"

Braeburn brought a hoof to his chin and all the other ponies looked at him.  A crowd of about a hundred ponies waited on somepony to come up with a plan.

Suddenly, Braeburn lifted his hoof into the air as if an idea had just struck him.  "Why don't we take Appleloosa," he began.  The other ponies looked at him with wide eyes, leaning forward to hear him clearly.

"And move it somewhere else!"

At first the ponies groaned at the silly idea, but then...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"PUSH!"  The ponies pushed.

"PUSH!"  They pushed again, and soon enough Appleloosa was out of harm's way.

"The Cutie Mark Chronicles"

After all the ponies had finished telling their cutie mark stories, the Fun Cutie Katchers trotted home happily.  They talked about how awesome it was that all the older ponies' cutie marks were related somehow.  Even Big Macintosh told the story about how he single hoofedly bucked every tree in Equestria, and then ate every single one.

When they reached Ponyville central, they stopped and thought for a while.

Then they all made their own decisions.

"I'm going to run away from home," said Applebloom.

"I'm going to sit around until my horn lights up," said Sweetie Belle.

"I'm going to do dangerous tricks until I do something worthy of a cutie mark," said the chicken.

And so they did.

"Owl's Well That Ends Well"

"Hey Owlicious," said Spike.

"Who?"

"You.  I'm talking to you Owlicious."

"Who?

"You.  You're name is Owlicious, just like mine is Spike."

"Who?"

"Spike, I'm Spike!"

"Who?"

"Standing in front of you!"

"Who?"

"YOU, I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU!"

"Who?"

"ME!  ARE YOU BLIND?!  ARE YOU STUPID?"

"Who?"

"ME!"

"So you're stupid?"

Spike's eyelids drooped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spike, have you seen Owlicious?  I can't find him anywhere."  Twilight trotted around the library, looking for the owl.

Spike stretched out his arms and sat up in his bed.  It was still soggy from all the rain that had gotten into it.

"Nope, haven't seen him Twilight."

"Party of One"

"You guys threw this party? For me?" said Pinkie Pie.  She stared in disbelief at all her friends.  There was cake and balloons and music.  Her face broke out into a wide grin.  "Let's party!"

"Uh, Pinkie Pie."  Applejack trotted out from behind a bale of hay.  "This party isn't for you, it's for that pile of rocks."

The pile of rocks jumped into the party and everypony started to dance.

"Oh."  Pinkie Pie looked at the ground, but then her pupils became extremely small and drifted to either side of her eyes.  "At least I have you all in one place," she said, an evil grin spreading across her face.

Pinkie Pie whipped out the party cannon.

"It's party time."

The ponies proceeded to have the most epic party ever conceived.

"A Bird in the Hoof"

Philomena landed on Celestia's back, brushing some of her feathers with her beak.  All the ponies watched in awe as what had just been a pile of ashes was now a majestic phoenix.

"So, Philomena was fine the whole time?" asked Fluttershy.  Celestia nodded.  Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief, she had been so afraid of getting banished.

"It's okay Fluttershy, you didn't know."  Fluttershy smiled.

Without warning, Philomena fell off of Celestia's back and onto the ground, coughing and wheezing.

"What happened!" yelled Fluttershy.  Celestia knelt down to see what the matter was, and then stood back up with a grave look in her eyes.

"Fluttershy, you didn't try to give her a warm bath or aromatherapy did you?"

"Why, I did both those things!"

"It's caused Philomena to pass out!  She might not live."

"Oh no!"  Fluttershy rushed forward to help Philomena, but Celestia held out a hoof and stopped her.

"No Fluttershy, you are banished.  TO THE MOON!" bellowed Celestia.  Her horn glowed with magic.  Fluttershy let out a scream and galloped away as quick as she could.

She went as far away as possible, galloping into her house and boarding up the doors.

Celestia broke out into laughter as Philomena got back up.  They wing-fived and laughed some more.  "That worked too well," said Celestia.

"The Best Night Ever"

Twilight and her friends trotted into the store, sitting at a round table.  They laughed and joked about what an awful night they had been having.

Princess Celestia trotted in and greeted the ponies.

"Princess Celestia!" exclaimed Twilight.

"Hello Twilight, how has your night been?"

"Well, what we thought was going to be the best night of our lives, turned out to be the worst night of our lives."  All the ponies giggled a little bit.

"Just as planned," said Celestia.

"What?" asked Twilight.

"Nothing."

"Friendship Is Magic, part 2" ("Elements of Harmony")

Luna galloped to Celestia's side, tears pouring from her eyes.  After being defeated as Nightmare Moon, she finally saw the truth.

"I'm so sorry!" she said through her tears,"Can you ever forgive me?"

Celestia looked down at her sister with teary eyes.  She smiled a bit, glad that she had been finally reunited with her sister.  Luna felt a tear drop on her head and looked up to see Celestia crying.  But to her surprise, Celestia was biting her lip and looked as though she could barely keep from bursting out into laughter.

Luna turned her head sideways, unsure as to what was so funny.  Celestia looked down at her and barely managed to get out words.

"To the moon!"

"Winter Wrap Up"

Just in Case

Three months of winter coolness, and awesome holidays~

We've kept our hoovesies warm at home, time off from work to play~

But the food we've stored is running out, and we can't grow in this cold

And even though I love my boots, this fashion's getting old~

The time has come to welcome Spring

And all things warm and green,

But it's also time to say goodbye:

It's Winter we must clean.

How can I help? I'm new, you see.

What does everypony do?

How do I fit in without magic?

I haven't got a clue!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

Let's finish our holiday cheer

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here,

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Bringing home the southern birds,

A pegasus' job begins

And clearing all the gloomy skies

To let the sun shine in!

We move the clouds and we melt the white snow;

When the sun comes up, it's warmth and beauty will glow!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

Let's finish our holiday cheer

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here

Winter Wrap-Up Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Little critters hibernate

Under the snow and ice.

We wake up all their sleepyheads

So quietly and nice!

We help them gather up their food,

Fix their homes below;

We welcome back the Southern birds

So their families can grow!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

Let's finish our holiday cheer

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

No easy task to clear the ground,

Plant our tiny seeds.

With proper care and sunshine,

Everyone it feeds.

Apples, carrots, celery stalks

Colorful flowers, too!

We must work so very hard,

It's just so much to do!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

Let's finish our holiday cheer

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Now that I know what they all do,

I have to find my place

And help with all of my heart,

Tough task ahead I face.

How will I do without my magic,

Help the earth pony way?

I wanna belong, so I must

Do my best today

Do my best today

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

Let's finish our holiday cheer~

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Twilight trotted over to the crowd of ponies standing near the stage where the mayor stood.  She nudged her way through the ponies, wondering which vest she should wear.  Twilight approached Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow, what group should I be in?" asked Twilight.

"Uh, Twilight, we finished wrapping up winter during the song, remember?"

"Oh," said Twilight.

And then they sang the song again.

"The Show Stoppers"

The entire crowd lay silent.  Nopony dared to move after the performance.  The Fun Cutie Katchers had just sang their theme song, and it wasn't the best song ever.  In fact, it was actually really bad.

One of the ponies yelled out,"That was awful!" and the rest of the ponies started to agree.  Within a moment, tomatoes were raining down on the stage and the Fun Cutie Katchers galloped off.  The next act went on stage and as they performed the three ponies took off their costumes.  They sighed, singing and performing just wasn't their thing.

Rainbow Dash flew up to the sad ponies.  "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Our act was awful," said Sweetie Belle, bowing her head and frowning.  Rainbow Dash looked at her.

"Why was it awful?"

"Nopony liked our rock music."

"Rock music?"  Rainbow Dash broke into a wide grin.  She zipped away from the stage and back to her house.  Within a moment she was back with sunglasses and a electric guitar.  She gave the Fun Cutie Katchers sunglasses of their own and told them to act like they were doing something.

"Come my little ponies," she said.  The Fun Cutie Katchers followed her onto stage.  The other act was only halfway through their song, but Rainbow Dash kicked them all off.

"Let's rock this shit."  Rainbow Dash began to play the guitar, and it was the most delicious rock that had ever entered the other ponies ears.  Suddenly, the ponies were screaming and hollering while Rainbow Dash shredded the guitar, playing the deity of rock songs.  The guitar almost caught on fire and the speakers were on the verge of exploding.  Most of the crowd was either cheering at the top of their lungs or headbanging.  It was the best music to ever be played in Equestria.  One of the stallions even jumped on stage and began to sing.

Once the song was finished, Rainbow Dash trotted off the stage and the crowd went wild.

The Fun Cutie Katchers smiled and reveled in their glory.  They won first prize.