The Voice in my Head

by Fret

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Discord
Length: 15523

He won't stop talking. I wish he would.

You may think I'm talking to myself. I'm not... I can assure you that I'm speaking to someone.

I just wish I wasn't.

Published 2015-03-09 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-09 16:50:02 UTC

Voice

I remember the day that it all started. That day I thought I had fixed all of my problems. Well, if I had to be honest, I still don't know to this day whether it was day or night. Either way, it doesn't matter, because it ended. I picked up three of those gems, while she picked up what was left, and we united the magic within them. The light from the magic being showered over him was hard to look at, but it did the trick. It froze him in place, so that he couldn't snap even a finger. The reality I knew and loved returned, and everything was fine.

But it's not fine! I can't sleep, I haven't been able to for years on end. All I hear is that voice. That stupid, mocking voice. It just won't stop.

I think I remember when I heard it for the first time. Well, after I fixed everything. I'd already heard his voice long before he was defeated. For whatever reason, I couldn't sleep the following night. I can never work out why. I had beaten the tyrant alongside my sister, and I had won. That should have been the best night's sleep I've ever had.

But it was the worst. I'll tell you just why that is.

I stepped onto the soft mattress, finally allowing the tiredness in my veins take over my body. I flopped onto the soft surface, lacking any grace at all. I didn't even bother to pull my blanket over myself, my energy was so drained. I was unsure that I'd ever get it back.

I let my eyes shut, and expected to drift off into a well-deserved night's sleep as soon as I blocked off my vision.

But no, a few moments passed, and I was still conscious. Perhaps I wasn't comfortable enough to focus on nothing. I flipped myself on my other side, hoping it would do something.

Again, nothing happened. I turned onto my back, wondering if that would do something, despite me not usually sleeping in that position.

I'm almost certain I lay like that for half an hour. I still couldn't get to sleep. And when I'm tired, I loose my patience all the more easily. I gave the pillow a frustrated slam with my hoof, before pressing my head into the dent I had made. I lay on my belly for another half an hour, and it did nothing.

Deary me, Celestia. Do you have insomnia or something?

I froze for a few heartbeats. Then I slowly lifted my head off of the pillow. My heart was beginning to quicken.

Maybe I was just that tired. I was hearing things.

I lay back on my side, hoping that the night would end soon.

You realize it's rude not to answer a friend in need?

This time, my whole body shot up. I knew I couldn't be hearing such things. My lip curled, and I called out his name.

"Discord... show yourself."

My dear... I would if I could. But I'm not really here. In fact, I'm just guessing where you are. I'm just assuming you're trying to get to sleep.

"What do you mean? I hear you. I'm not an idiot."

I can't preform any physical spells, thanks to you. This is all I can do, so I might as well make enjoyment out of it.

"How can I hear you if you're still trapped in stone?" I demanded.

Oh, I'm just exploring your subconscious. Right now, I can tell you're both tired and frustrated, so I can only guess you're trying to sleep. Did I get it right?

At first, I didn't want to answer him. But after a while of hesitation, I finally gave him the satisfaction.

"...Yes. I am."

Ohohoh! I'm already good at this. Okay, to be fair, I'm always good at the games I create, but this one is pretty difficult, I will admit!

I don't know why I answered him. I suppose it was because I knew he'd pester me until I'd give him one, so it really didn't matter.

"Get out of my head Discord, I want to sleep..."

Well... I need to go somewhere! I suppose I could always pester that brat of a sister you have...

"NO!" I blurted out. I wasn't dragging my sister into this. "No... don't interfere with anypony. Please."

A few moments of silence passed, and I was starting to think he wasn't really there, that I was just crazy. But soon enough, he finally answered me.

Are you sure you want that, Celestia? I mean, I don't at all have an issue with it. You do amuse me so...

My muzzle wrinkled up. "Why don't you just leave me alone altogether?" I asked.

Pssh! You try staying in a stone prison for hours on end. Heck - I almost had a heart attack from boredom in the first minute! This is the least I can do to entertain myself...

I let out a groan, which anyone could tell was much less than friendly. "And do you think that it's entertaining for me?"

Excuse you, but you're the one who put me here in the first place. You brought this on yourself, deary.

That's when I paused. For once, I knew he wasn't joking. Even if it was in his tone, I knew very well that he wouldn't dare snicker, even if he could. I wasn't sure how I knew at first, but that's how I learned that, while he could see my own subconscious, I could see his.

"Alright, Discord," I choked out reluctantly. "As long as you don't mess with anypony else but myself..."

Oh... okay. That was unexpected.

And he did. I just couldn't let his voice haunt anyone else, so I locked him in my own head. That first night, I just couldn't sleep. He wouldn't stop talking to me. How I wish he would, but he never shut his mouth. Well, he never opened it in the first place. He'd just connected his thoughts with my own.

And I hated it.

I don't hate many things, but that's something I just can't love. Not only was he able to see into my thoughts, but I could see into his. His sick, twisted mind, filled with things I can't even comprehend. I tried my best to shut myself out. It worked sometimes, but other times it didn't. He was the one controlling what I did and didn't see. At first, I was confused to why he let me escape his head in the first place. But then I realized. I didn't have to search through the big, unorganized mess in his head, I just worked it out in a heartbeat.

He was toying with me. Keeping me in the same spot would be boring. You don't just sit and stare at a toy, you move it around.

While I didn't get a second's sleep that first night, it wasn't the worst. There was that one time, the first night I was alone, that I wished I had to guts to rip my head off and end it all. For the most part...

Tears were still streaming down my face. It had been... what... twenty-four hours by now? I didn't know. I didn't even care. There was just one thing on my mind.

Oh dear, something's been bothering you.

I slowly lifted up my head. He was back. Why here... why now?

"Just leave! Just shut your mouth... shut your stupid mouth..."

Sorry, Celie, it's permanently ope-

"NO! Don't you dare call my that! Only she calls me that... only her..." I took in a deep, shaky breath. "She's gone Discord... she's gone for good."

Oh... Right...her. He dragged his words out. Err... Who, exactly?

"It's not funny!" I spat at him, "You can see my thoughts, use some common sense and put it to use."

Believe it or not, I'm not usually that harsh when I talk to him. I'm not at all kind, however I try my best to keep my patience with him... Not that it always works, but I always do my best to put effort in everything.

I waited for him to start his taunting laughter. I knew it was coming.

Luna? She's gone?

I waited for the long song of cackling to follow his words, but it didn't come. Perhaps he was waiting for me to reply.

"Yes... she's gone," I said.

Oh. How did that happen? Sorry, it's hard to move around in here, there's a huge dam that getting ready to burst with your tears.

First of all, I gave an irritated huff. Then I managed to calm myself.

"It's all my fault... I wasn't there for her," I began, "she was all alone, she had no one to talk to. I stole everypony from her, and now she's gone.

Another moment of long silence. Again, I was rather confused to why his laughter wasn't echoing off of the walls of my mind. Eventually, after seemingly finding the right words to say, he continued.

Really? I thought she was just being a moody teenager. A light chuckle was heard from what would be his throat. Either way, I know that must be hard for you, Celestia.

I may be going insane, but did I just hear him attempt to sooth me?

"It... it is," I whimpered. I noticed I was slowly loosing my voice from the screaming and crying that I had done these many hours that had flew by so quickly.

Mhmm... it must be difficult to even acknowledge the fact that you have nopony left.

I cut him too much slack. I knew straight away what he was doing once I hear those very words.

Poor Lulu. 'Tis a shame she's gone, I enjoyed those little arguments you both had. But I suppose Equestria's far more important than her.

"FALSE!" I hissed, slamming my two front hooves on the ground. "She was the most important pony that I've ever and ever will have!"

I heard him give a low guffaw. Is that so? Then why would you banish her to keep Equestria safe.

Even with the knowledge of knowing it was of no use, I still threw myself on the bed and slapped my hooves over my ears, wishing so badly I could escape from his teasing. But I knew very well I couldn't run from my own consciousness.

"Please just shut up... please..." I begged him, repeating it over and over again, despite the doubt that he wouldn't even consider listening to me. I'm not really sure how long I lay there, muttering to myself, but I know that I eventually forgot how to keep on going, so I stopped.

Silence.

I blinked one eye open, then the other. I gradually removed my hooves from my ears, and lifted up my head. I had to remove a few pastel-coloured strands of hair from my vision, before finally finding that he had indeed, shut his mouth. Or at least, that's what he would do if he had spoken to her physically.

"D..Discord?" I whimpered.

Oh for my sake, I actually decide to be quiet for once, and when I do, you speak to me? I'm suppose to be the one who makes no sense, not you.

"You... you listened to me?" I was astonished. Why would he do such a thing?

Don't get used to it, Celie. I only obeyed your order because you're no fun when you're sad.

"Oh really? And just when is it that I'm 'amusing'?"

You're angry when you're beautiful, Celestia.

I gave a sigh. Not a sigh of relief, nor a sigh of defeat. It was just a simple sigh that I simply had to do. I don't know what emotion you would put the sigh in, I'm not sure if I ever will.

Either way, is little Lulu ever coming back?

I exhaled. "Y...Yes," I replied shakily.

Well then, everything will be fine. You shouldn't have to wait too long-

"A thousand years."

Err... um... what was that?

My eyes began to water once again. "The Elements of Harmony cannot hold her for a shorter time." The thought of waiting an entire millennium made me sick to my stomach. "Since she stills shares a magic to the elements that she once represented, those elements are what is keeping her imprisoned... I actually had to cast a spell and loose my connection to the Element of Magic in order to free her." My nostrils flared with frustration. "However, it's still three elements against one, she won't come back any sooner."

But you still have a connection to those two other elements? Why don't you just use all the magic to free her?

My eyes narrowed. Whether what he said was purposely meant to trick her or not, I didn't care. "Because that would mean a few... other beings would be freed from their prison."

That seemed to silence him. To anyone else, I would have lied so I wouldn't admit any hurtful words. Here, I thought that I wouldn't be able to care less whether he was offended, hurt, or simply bemused.

So why was there guilt nibbling at my heart?

I literally attempted to swipe the anxiety away with my hooves, I thought that rats really were biting at them.

The silence he made, at this point, was rather unsettling. Do you ever get that dreaded feeling that you've went to far with your words? Because I have.

"Discord?" I called weakly. He didn't answer me.

I was quick to give up on him. Perhaps once, I'd call his name repeatedly until he would finally look at me, but here, it was different. Here, he couldn't see me.

He couldn't see anything.

Many years had passed since I lost my sister. And by many, I'm not at all exaggerating. At least, not for you. For me, a few centuries is nothing, yet for you, you can't even imagine living that long.

And since time has went slow for me, so has change.

I'm far from getting over the banishment of the only pony I could trust. In fact, things have taken a turn to the worse, though I didn't actually realize it until now. It was supposed to be one of those typical days where I'm doing my royal duties, and Discord's having a one-sided conversation with me.

I'd completely blocked him out of my mind until now.

I had just finished reading another debate when a sentence that he spoke stood out from all the rest, so I just had to pay some heed to it.

Geez, Celestia, your subconsciousness is more tipsy than I remember!

I gave a snort in reply.

Oooh, she finally answers! So, what exactly have you done to yourself this time?

I took another sip from my glass. "You said it yourself," I simply told him.

I did? I don't remember. Could you repeat it for me?

I didn't speak.

Pwetty pwease Pwincess?

I gave a saturated sigh, "Three sentences ago. What did you say to me?"

I pictured him tapping his chin during his hesitation. I said that your subconsciousness is a bit more tipsy than I remember, he said.

"Well, there you go." I growled, trying to focus on the papers in front of me once again. I, unfortunately, failed. With an irritated groan, I drank the last few drops of my drink. That gave Discord enough time to work out what I was hinting at. I nearly smashed the glass on the ground when I heard his insufferable cackling echo in my mind for the Faust-who-knows time.

Oh my, Celestia! I never took you for a drinker!

The fact that he found humor in this gave me a right to chuck my glass at the wall, which I so very wished was that despicable draconequus. "It's not funny!" I barked.

Sorry Celie, you can't undo your betrayal for your sister by simply chugging your problems!

I reached for another bottle from the other side of the room. I'd put them so far away from me to try and resist temptation, but it was useless. My flask now in pieces, I yanked the lid off with my mouth, then spat it onto the floor. I took another swing, hoping that I'd lose focus all together so that I didn't have to hear him.

Yet I still could here him snickering. I didn't stop pouring the moisture down my throat. I swore to myself that it would stop if I kept going. It was rare that I believed myself, and at this point, I could understand why. It didn't matter how many glass bottles I picked up and emptied, it just wouldn't affect him.

It was only affecting me.

Liquid dripped from my lips as I removed the bottle from my mouth. It was the first time I lifted my lids off my eyes, and as soon as I did, I wanted to shut them again. The ground below me shook, as if someone was rocking it from side to side. The little sound that I had heard before didn't seem to find my ears. For just a split second, that one fact sparked hope in my heart, which carried an unnatural beating than usual. Perhaps I wouldn't be able to hear his stupid voice...

You really have cracked, Celie. My bad! Well, at least I think it's my bad.

"YESH!" I screeched, my veins boiling with anger. I didn't even take note of the fact that my tongue had slipped.

Oopsies, sorry about that!

I stared at the glass bottle for a few moments, then I gently set it onto the carpet. My aim was off though, so it ended up tipping over. "Well..." I rasped, "Not really."

No need to nail it in my - wait, what was that?

It took me a while to take in what he had asked. "It's... nnnit's not you..." My words began to slur. Despite laying down, perfectly balanced, I still tipped over and flopped onto my pillow. "It's uh... me..."

...This is new.

"Issit though?" I muttered as I failed to push the letters off of my bed. I weakly pulled the bed cover over me, but only managing to tuck half of myself under it.

To be fair, you do complain about yourself a lot.

"Mmmph..." I attempted to agree.

How long have you even been drinking for?

"Urgh...I dunno...." I felt a hoof land on my face, though I didn't realize that it was my own. "Not long..." Eventually my magic could guide the bottle back to my lips. While half was spilled on the carpet, there was still some left.

Did no one ever tell you that drinking is never the answer?

"Nnnghno... They just told me tha' uh... I think violence is or somethin'..."

Either way, I would have thought that you would know better than to drink your problems away.

"Sriously? I wouldn''."

I would just love to see your words written down right now...

"Why would I know b'tter... all I do is messup." I found that there was no liquid left in the bottle, so instead of removing it from my lips, I just lay it half-in half-out of my mouth. I'd forgotten that I could put it somewhere else easily with my magic.

Put it to use, then, he groaned. You really aren't as bright as I thought.

"...I though tha sun was the brightest thing evar or somethin'."

I can't tell if you're funny, or just annoying when you're drunk.

"Shuddup." I muttered as I watched the glass bottle finally roll out off of my jaw and onto the mattress. "I'll be fine."

He let out a huff of laughter. Now I wouldn't go claiming such things with that much confidence, Tia.

I let out a effete moan as I let her lids cover my eyes, finally taking a step back from the aching sights before me. Though I still felt the floor beneath me preparing to tip over, I repeatedly reminded myself that sinking into my own mind would lift all my worries.

At least, it used to be that way.

Did anyone expect the experience to get worse over time? Because I know I did. Oh, but that's far too predictable for the draconequus. He never follows a cliche.

No, instead he decided to add some twists and turns to his little game. And he mastered the element of surprise, over a thousand years I could hear his voice parroting inside my head, and yet his actions... or speech pattern... still left me taken aback.

My lids stiffly opened, and my eyes struggled to focus. A groan arose from my throat as I lifted my head off my pillow. I lifted a hoof to my eyes, attempting to scrape off anything that could possibly be blinding me. They eventually moist themselves, allowing a clearer sight to be made. Surrounding me were scattered alcohol bottles and stains clinging to the carpet, and it left me all but aware what in Equestria had happened.

I fluttered my lids, then began to rub my head as I realized the scorching pain that I felt. "Ugh..." My voice was more hoarse than it usually was in the morning.

"Morning!"

Despite the unbearable ache I felt, I still somehow found the energy to stand on my hooves and let them carry me over to my balcony. I stared out over the town below me, which was growing all the more over the years, before drawing my attention to the silver celestial body in the sky. For a moment, my mind flashed back to when I would call it a beautiful sight, to see its contrast against the navy sky, yet now the face imprinted on its side haunted me to no end.

I could only look at it for so long. I quickly shut my eyes and searched for the moon with my magic. I soon found it, and began to lower it. Using such a powerful magic required a lot of strength and focus, and neither of those things got along very well with the ever-growing gripe that was burning in my head. Yet I didn't give up - my little ponies needed their daylight to return.

Once I knew the moon had disappeared behind the hills, I could finally breath. My headache was almost becoming a torment for me.

Either way, I needed to raise the sun.

I began to feel for the warmth of the sun, making use of my horn once again. I was far more used to sunlight than moonlight, even after centuries of taking on both responsibilities, so finding the grand star took hardly a fraction of the time it took to find the moon.

Today was different though. As I locked my magic onto the sun, my migraine finally transformed into plain agony. I had barely moved the sun from its original setting when I collapsed onto the ground, shaking. Blurred memories from last night began to return , but only just. I had been drinking, though I had managed to keep it under control.

That is until he began speaking to me.

No... that wasn't right.

I decided to listen to him.

"This is all your fault..." I snarled as I cradled my head. If only he wasn't here...

Yeah, yeah. Everything would be so much better! I heard him groan in annoyance. Like he hadn't heard that one before. Oh! Looks like you're getting used to me, huh Celie?

"Be quiet..." I breathed, hoping the migraine would soon fade. It didn't... it clung on, strangling my nerves, however not enough so they'd go numb.

But whenever I actually shut my mouth, you decide to just call my name again! What's the point in taking a needless break when I'm just going to start all over again?

I grabbed onto the railing that sat on the edge of the balcony, and heaved myself up to at least sit up. "I call your name because I get confused why you would even bother doing what I say," I muttered.

Aww, I was so sure it was because you were worried you'd hurt my feelings! Oh wait, that's actually true. He gave a low chuckle. Stop lying, Tia. Really, there's no point. You never know when I'll be able to find the truth in this cluttered mind of yours.

I would have raised a brow, but it even hurt to simply move a feature that was part of my face. "Cluttered?" I echoed, "How is my mind 'cluttered'?"

Oh, it's just full of messed up emotions, to be honest. Most of it is either stress or regret, but I swear, it's like wading through mud and quick sand mixed together. Usually I'd approve, but I'd like to get to more interesting parts of your consciousness than this blank space.

I gave a snort, "You brought this on yourself." I finally felt my headache begin to die down a little.

I'm sure my mind is far worse than yours. I heard him mutter. In all honesty, it didn't sound like he really wanted to share that with me.

"Yes. I'm sure it's filled with candy canes and chocolate milk waterfalls. What a nightmare," I grunted, my tone thick with sarcasm. To my surprise, however, his tone sounded genuinely offended.

I would of thought you'd be smart enough to work out that my thoughts are a little more complicated than that. Unless you don't pay any attention to my own mind.

"No, actually, I don't," I confirmed. "As soon as I took a peek into your thoughts, I immediately turned all my studies to how to simply block the dreaded pathway to your consciousness." No regrets in saying that.

I heard Discord give a deep growl. What exactly did you run from? The checkerboard floor?

I rolled my eyes. "I've seen enough of your chaos in my lifetime. I don't need to see any more." I crossed my hooves, still waiting for the hangover to weaken. I'd go and hydrate myself, but I couldn't even find the strength to hold myself up. "And if you think that my mind is bad, I dread to think what your's is actually like when you even step a hoof in there."

I heard him give an angered snort. Then why don't you see for yourself, Princess?

At first, I wondered what he meant. Then, all of a sudden, my world blackened out, and I was sucked into an abyss of chaos.

I may not have really been there, but slamming on the ground still hurt.

At least my migraine had been lifted...

I blinked open my eyes. At first, I had no interest to what was around me, instead I just wished I could lay there until any wounds would heal. However, as soon as I caught sight of what was in front of me, I leaped up onto my hooves, all pain forgotten. I began to back up in fright, keeping eye contact with what was in front of me.

A jet-black, even more monstrous version of Discord was slowly crawling towards me. He, unlike the original draconequus, stayed on all of its fours as it moved.

I heard a rumble escape his throat as its glare sliced right through my own. It wasn't long before I was stricken with fear.

"D...Discord..." I gasped, hoping that he'd somehow let me go.

"Yes? Are you enjoying it in there?" I heard him reply. It sounded more different than usual though. Often, it was as if it was echoing at the back of my mind, only loud enough for me to hear, as if he were right next to me. Here, however, it came from everywhere. If there were any more ponies here, they would all hear his words very clearly.

"Wha... What are you doing?" I demanded, more panicked than angry as I was now unable to move from the horrific sight before her. "Why do you look like..."

"Oh! That's just part of me, not all of me. He won't do anything to you, just as long as he can't reach you."

I blinked in confusion. I began to closely observe the one 'part' of the draconequus. I eventually spotted a thick chain clamped around his neck , one which I couldn't see before since it was the same colour as the alter-ego. I only noticed since the rest of the chain that had hooked him to an unevenly shaped wall behind him had tensed, for the monstrous draconequus could not move any closer to me than he was.

He had also noticed that the chain was stopping him from reaching me. He gave a frustrated snarl as he began to thrash, straining his arms forward, attempting to simply touch me. Just to be safe, I took a step back. The draconequus' blood-red eyes burned with fury as his wishes were ignored. Not once did he give up trying to get to me. Not once did he stop snarling.

Not once did he look away.

"Discord... what part of you is this...?" I whispered.

"I don't know what one you're looking at, so I have no idea. I'm still in your mind, you know. I'm just guessing what you're doing there." I could imagine him shrugging. "I'm sure you can work it out. What does he look like?"

"Hatred."

"...Well, I actually wanted a description for his appearance. How do you know, out of curiosity?"

"I...It's the way he's looking at me," I stuttered, completely lost in Hatred's eyes. Not because it was new, however. It was because I only just realized how old the stare was to me. "You've looked at me like that..." Before Discord could give a reply, I shook my head, trying to tear away any focus I shared with the alter-ego. "Enough of this, Discord... How do I get out of here?" I turned my back on Hatred, hoping that he wouldn't somehow break from his chains and leap on me.

"You'll have to work that out yourself, Tia. I'm still in your head."

"I need to raise the sun, so stop fooling around!" I began to loose the little patience I had when it came to him.

"Nope, sorry. Can't help, that would be cheating!"

I gave an infuriated groan, before I started looking for a reasonable pathway. Until now, I had not taken in any of the scenery around me. I was standing on an rough, dark floor, with walls that weren't connected to each other surrounding me. I decided to take the routine that was the furthest from Hatred, and made a run for an open corner on the opposite side of the area. There, I found myself in a corridor, which had a faint red and purple glow flaring up from the ground. This was nothing like I had expected from Discord's subconsciousness.

The corridor looked as if it was going to go on for eternity. But, soon enough, the walls that stood next to me on both sides flew past me, and the faint colours below me ran out. I found myself in a pitch-black space, unsure where to go next. My pace slowed immensely, as I was uncertain what I would run into next.

Sure enough, my ear flickered towards a shallow breathing. I turned my head, and caught a glimpse of a smaller silhouette against a corner, in which a pale, white light seemed to only just shine through. I crept slowly towards the shape in front of me, then flinched as its head shot up. I found that it was yet another version of Discord, however not at all like his Hatred counter-part. This one looked weaker and more innocent than Discord himself.

In the dim light, I managed to catch sight of his eyes. They looked more like Discord's regular eyes, rather than full of a scarring red. There was a slight difference though. Not in the the colour, however, but rather the frightened, yet curious stare that he gave me. I've seen those eyes before...

I couldn't get the chance to think where, before the innocent-looking Discord nervously observed me. While the chaos embodiment was usually taller than me, this one was the size of a regular pony, just in the shape of a draconequus.

The emotion studied my forelegs, my chest, my mane, then finally it stopped at my eyes. Our eyes were locked, neither of us able to pull away. I certainly didn't want to... I didn't want to scare this helpless-looking Discord.

Soon enough, however, he finally broke from my gaze. He fled back into the corner and curled up in a ball, covering his face from me. My ears drooped.

"Did I do something wrong...?"

"Geez, what are you doing now?" I heard the usual Discord moan. "Did you find another one of me or something?"

"Yes, but... he'd the complete opposite to Hatred," I said.

"I guess he's love then. Wait... I still have that? I thought I threw it away."

I paid no heed to Discord's last sentence. "He's not love.... he's too frightened and scared." The draconequus figure stayed still in his tight position.

"Oh. Wait, was he curious of you?"

Though he couldn't see me, I still nodded. "Yes..."

"Did he observe you?"

"Indeed he did..."

"When did he stop?"

I paused. "My eyes," I simply said. "He paused at my eyes... and he just ran back to his corner."

"Sounds like Distrust to me." Discord said causally.

I was unsure how to react. Why did I feel like I have encountered this from Discord before?

I attempted to get closer to the counterpart, however all I got was Distrust curling even more tightly as a reply. I let out a sigh, as a sign that I had given up. I began to search the area for another way out, but there was no more light aside from the thin crack behind Distrust. I tried to use a light spell from my horn so that I could see any hidden exits, but no matter how bright I lit my horn, it had no affect on the world around me. I groaned in frustration. I turned back to the slim gap in the wall, however I could tell I wouldn't be able to fit through it.

I would just have to feel my way around here.

I cautiously reached our one hoof in front of me and swayed it around, searching for any signs of a way out. Now that I was paying attention, I noticed that the floor below me was a lot more smoother than when i was with Hatred. Perhaps Distrust had constructed it in this way, unable to let even the tiniest unwelcome crack be in the same room as him.

I thought that I'd never find anything, when I suddenly stepped onto thin air. I tripped, and began to tumble down the hole that I had unexpectedly found. I rolled downhill for quite a while, then I dropped from a low height onto the ground below. As soon as I blinked open my eyes, I immediately shut them again, for just as they had gotten used to a lack of light, bright colours were now surrounding me. More gradually, I lifted my lids, hoping my eyes would eventually get used to the new environment.

I staggered back onto my hooves ungracefully, then began to roam the new found territory. The floor was an unnatural texture - smooth but unevenly shaped. The walls were as flat-surfaced as they could get, and I couldn't even figure our why it was so bright in here. There was no ceiling above me, instead it just faded into darkness. What appealed to me the most, though, were the colours, and how they were displayed. The floor seemed to have an original colour of black, however a mixture of green, purple, blue and pink rippled on the surface, as if I was standing on top of a lava lamp. In fact, I probably was. The walls were just a plain cyan colour, with nothing interesting happening on them.

I continued trotting, wondering what else I would find. The room was empty for a while, until I heard a noise behind me.

I swung my head around to meet whatever it was who had made a sound. I then saw an average-sized draconequus, only slightly smaller than Discord himself, crawl swiftly towards me. He stopped a few feet before me, before he locked his gaze with mine, licking his lips with a forked tongue in the process. I began to feel uncomfortable.

"Who's this, then?" I said, backing up a few steps.

"Did you find another one? What's he doing?"

"He's just... staring at me. It's as if he's actually interested." My heart dropped as a thought came to me. "...Please tell me I didn't find lust."

"Depends. Are you in a bedroom?"

I raised a brow. "...No?"

"Then no, you didn't."

I gave a sigh of relief. "Then..." I continued, "Who did I find?"

"Is he observing you like the last one?" Discord asked.

I payed attention to the newcomer's eyes. He was indeed doing his research on me, but it wasn't as enthusiastic as Distrust. He just froze in place, his eyes narrowed, even showing a glint of worry in them. "He is... but he seems confused."

"Bingo! You found Confusion."

My eyes slightly widened. Out of all things, why would anything be confused by me? Even an alter-ego that was the embodiment of confusion itself?

Then something surprised me. Confusion opened its mouth, however unlike Hatred, it didn't snarl, and unlike Distrust, it didn't stay silent. Confusion began to speak. Words.

"Why am I so c-cold?" he rasped. I was unsure how to react.

"Cold?" I echoed.

"I...I'm freezing... why's that?" His words were stuttered, but it wasn't out of fear. To me, it sounded like he had forgotten how to speak smoothly altogether.

"Why are you freezing?" I asked him.

"You... you froze me... remember? W...Why did you do that? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"

It took me a while to figure out what he was talking about. Then I figured it out.

"With all due respect, you did indeed. You completely destroyed reality as we knew it, therefore my sister and I had to imprison you in stone," I told him firmly. His eyes just widened.

"W...what else was I supposed to do? Reality was killing me... I... I had to stop it... wasn't that the way?"

I dead-panned. I really was stuck on what to say.

"Why am I cold, Celestia?"

I couldn't listen to him anymore. I spun around and galloped off blindly, unsure whether I was going deeper into or leaving Discord's subconsciousness.

The strange scenery that Confusion had called his home eventually faded into something completely different. It was the last kind of area I'd ever expect to see in Discord's mind - a dull, grey and poorly built place.

My pace slowed as I studied the area. I wasn't sure what to expect here; heck, I never expected to find a place like this in the first place. What could possibly be here that would be related to the embodiment of chaos?

I soon found my answer. The room seemed to become more clamped as I continued to enter it, and it began to feel nerve wracking. Then I looked in front of me.

It was a skinny, scruffy and weakened-looking Discord, laying on the ground, looking lifeless.

I took a step towards him. He didn't react.

"Hello?" I whispered. He still didn't react. I soon reached out a hoof and gave him a gentle prod on the shoulder. That's when he finally lifted up his head to meet her. He simply blinked.

"Are you okay...?" I asked, despite already knowing the answer. This was the emotion's natural state, so it wouldn't matter if the answer was yes or no.

The draconequus shook his head, looking as if he was struggling to do so. "I'm still here..." He murmured in a hoarse voice. I tilted my head, half-hoping he would continue.

"I'm still here... in one place. Unable to move... why is that?"

I felt my eyes water. He carried on. "I thought I could fix everything on my own... why did I think that?" He was no longer gazing at her, rather just some unknown sight in the distance.

"I... I don't know." I was uncertain he even knew I was there.

"I know why... I'm so irresponsible. I thought I could do everything; anything, whenever I wanted. Why would I consider doing that?" He swung his head back to stare at me. "Why didn't you warn me?"

I was taken aback. "I... You wouldn't listen to me..."

"I know. Why wouldn't I?"

My ears flattened. I opened my mouth to speak, but Discord's original voice echoed throughout the tight landscape. For once, I was actually relieved to hear him speak normally again.

"Really, who are you talking to now?"

My eyes squinted. I was uncertain to what the answer would be.

"I don't know..." I replied. "He's weak... and he keeps asking me questions, but... I think he already knows the answer to them."

For a couple of heartbeats, Discord didn't respond. Then,

"I'll let you work out that one."

I thought for a few moments. Why would one ask questions over and over again, despite already knowing the answer?

"Regret," I answered. Never would I think that I'd see this side of Discord. Heck, I didn't even think it existed.

Regret's ears drooped. "I wish I listened to you, but there was nothing to listen to..." he croaked. I opened my mouth to reply, but he beat me to it. "Was imprisoning me the only answer? Why didn't you tell me that?! I would've found another way..." His hands gripped onto me, making me flinch. I gritted my teeth. I wanted him to shut up. "Why did you have to do that to me?!"

That was it. I shook him off, not caring if I somehow harmed him, then dashed off into a random direction.

I forgot just how claustrophobic it was in here, but it didn't matter. The dark walls in front of me morphed into empty spaces for me to escape through, allowing me to gallop into oblivion. My hooves pounded against the formless ground beneath me, which I noticed felt downhill.

I kept on running for a while, until the murky atmosphere changed as I saw a distant light. I instinctively bolted towards it, hoping that it would lead to somewhere safe. It didn't take long to reach my destination, but my wishes were not met.

As soon as I stepped out of the somber landscape into the light, my hoof met nothing but air. I tipped over the edge and began to fall once again, into the unknown. I refused to scream, however. Screaming did nothing.

I landed with a splash in a thick liquid, which stuck to my white fur and feathers as I attempted to lift myself out of it with my wings. I had to constantly kick my hooves in a swimming motion to keep at least my head above the surface. It was quick to drain my energy, since it took much strength to wade through the husky substance.

I was swimming in a random direction; I wasn't sure where land may be. Then again, I could barely see anything. The brown liquid dripped into my eyes, which stung. Some of it managed to find its way into my mouth - this is when I discovered the taste was familiar. I expected it to be bitter and unpleasant, but instead it was the complete opposite. It was sweet, and rather mouthwatering. In any other situation, I would have loved to lap it up, but I was about to drown.

In chocolate.

Soon my hoof hit something hard, to my relief. I gripped my two front hooves onto the solid, and dragged myself up, panting in the process. I tried to yank myself onto the surface, but I was too exhausted to finished the job. I lay there, half-in half-out of melted chocolate.

I then felt something poke me. I was too tired to lift my head off of the ground, which I also realized was pink and fluffy, instead I just moved my magenta eyes up to the newcomer. There, I saw a very familiar version of Discord. He was the same colour, and almost the same size,but had a wide grin on his face. It was similar to the one I remembered was plastered onto Discord half the time, however this one was a little different. Just by looking into his eyes, I could tell that he seemed a lot more... out of touch from the world around him. Like all he cared about was what was already there, and not anything else.

Seeing this didn't make me even consider second guessing, that this was Optimism.

"Deary me, Celestia! How could you not enjoy swimming in melted chocolate?" His voice sounded very close to Discord's, just a tad higher. I assumed it was to go with his size - slightly smaller than the usual draconequus. I soon found the energy to lift myself onto my hooves, so I could become level to the emotion.

"I'm covered in it," I muttered, trying to wipe it off of my coat. The brown substance still clung onto my fur, however.

"Yeah, that's the best part!" He reached out and scooped up some of the chocolate from the top of her mane, then stuffed it in his mouth, not bothering to care about cleanliness. The draconequus didn't bother to wipe the chocolate off of his lips. "Geez, Tia. Lighten up!" I watched him hop off towards a pile of marshmallows.

"You really can be a stick in the mud. Or... chocolate, in this case." He shrugged casually, then bounced onto the sweet fluffy pillows.

I blinked, unsure how to react. Then another voice wrung in my head.

"What exactly are you covered in?"

I raised a brow. "Liquefied chocolate."

"Oh! You've reached my inspiration for my chaos! Do you like it?"

I gave a snort. "It's more overwhelming than exciting," I told him. "And not in a good way." As I looked around the area, there was too much for my mind to take in. The walls were bright, happy colours, all mixed together in a mess. The floor had a fluffy texture in one place, then a squishy texture in another. It was like Optimism had taken all things cheery and mashed them all together to create an utter catastrophe.

Then again, this was Discord.

"It's hard to believe that it's optimism is your cause of chaos," I muttered.

"You'd be surprised. My chaos is my own reality, my dear. Of course I'd want to make myself happy, so it would only make sense that I'd create a world made from my own optimism."

I flattened my ears, observing the land around me. If she was anywhere else, she'd pay no heed to what he was trying to say. But here... she could relate. Where she was standing was similar to Confusion's outlook, but in a more lively atmosphere. It felt like an acceptance to his sickened thoughts, and thus he made some use out of it.

Chaos was a relief to him.

I gave a regretful sigh, which just happened to be heard by the draconequus.

"Oh, you don't seem happy."

"...I'm not," I rasped as I began to trot towards a random direction. At this point, I didn't care where I was going to end up.

"Why not? You're surrounded by sweets! Just request Optimism to conjure up some cake, he'll gladly do it."

"I just want to get out of here," I growled.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad, is it?"

"It's not that!" I gave a frustrated yell. "Your mind is corrupted, and I can't take it anymore!" I felt tears begin to form. "But I don't want to leave because this place just isn't my thing, I want to leave because you're blaming me for all of this!"

Discord gave a scoff, "Yeah, I know."

"Why?!" I stomped my hoof on the ground. "Why am I the cause of all this? Why did you even bring me here?!"

I hadn't realized that I had wandered into a completely blank room. Everything was white; the floor, the walls, the ceiling. There were no hints of shading or lighting of any sort. Instead there was just...

Discord.

He stood there, in front of me, his limbs folded and his eyes narrowed.

"Because, Celestia, " he began, "This is my life now. All thanks to you."

He took a step towards me. I hid my fear, keeping still.

"You're the one who trapped me in here. Every single day, always awake, always active, and to what? To this."

"I didn't trap you in here!" I snapped.

Discord smirked and raised a brow. "Oh really?" He took another step forward. "Are you or are you not the one who encased me in stone?"

I paused.

"Didn't Confusion mention this? Or was it Regret? Either way, this is my life now, whether I like it or not," he leaned forward, his muzzle almost touching mine. My breathing became shallow. "You can barely last ten minutes in my consciousness. Trapped in a world of distortion and corruption. I often wonder why I still have any sanity left, how I can still believe in morality."

I scrunched up my muzzle. "Don't you dare claim that you do," I snarled, "You destroyed reality in my kingdom, tormenting the ponies and other lifeforms in it just for fun." I then took a step towards him, our snouts now touching. "From what I've seen, you can believe in anything but morality."

"I never meant to harm the ponies in Equestria, dear," he scoffed. "My only aim was to be free from the sick reality surrounding me. It was your reality that tormented me. My mind is like it is now because none of what was real brought me happiness. I create my own reality, but thinking about it wasn't enough. I could make it, I could free myself from the torture of being an outcast." He then spun around, turning his back on me.

"But reality is called 'reality' for a reason. I'm out of touch from it, Celestia. I know this, but how can I care when all I know is my own dreamworld?" He glanced over his shoulder to look at me, expecting an answer. He didn't get one though, I had no idea what to say. So he carried on. "I'm trapped in here. I don't know if I'll ever get out, but I certainly can't escape it, either way."

"But... you can go into my consciousness as well, can't you?" My tone calmed.

"Yes, but it's terribly hard to stay there." His ears drooped. "Not because it's beyond my abilities, rather because what I see in your mind is hard to bare."

I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"The way you bottle up everything. You can deny it all you like, Tia, but all of your negative emotions, you prefer to keep them inside. You never share them with anyone. It's painful to stay there." To my surprise, his voice became more mild. "Funnily enough, you're how I know I've still a bit of sanity left in me. As long as I can still recognize pain, regret, anger, and so on, I know I'm still at least a bit in tact with your reality."

My eyes began to water as I continued to stare at him. Then he spoke once again.

"Why do you not share anything?"

"Huh?"

"Your feelings," he explained. "You lock them all up in your head. It's not healthy, you know."

"I..." I had to break away my eyes from his. "There's no one to share it with. Everyone looks up to me... but no one can look down to me. They may be all ears, willing to listen to me ramble, but only for leadership. If I dare mention I even feel a hint of regret for anything that I've done, I fear they'll loose their respect for me. I don't want to disappoint them, so I just feel like it's for the best if I don't share any of it."

"Funny. I know someone who doesn't look up to you."

I lifted my head. "Luna? No... she's gone though now, isn't she?"

"That's not who I'm talking about."

I blinked. "...Who, then?"

He gave a smirk. "You've been having a conversation with him for quite a while now," he simply said, before he lifted his eagle talon. "Now, I think you ought to raise the sun. It's half an hour late."

My eyes widened. "Wait... you're letting me go?"

"But of course. Why would you think I'd trap you here?"

"Well... you suffer this every day, so I thought..."

He shook his head. "Oh no, I just wanted you to get a taste of what I have to deal with twenty-four seven these days. Perhaps you'll think again when you say I'm nothing but a psycho." He snapped his fingers, and I dropped to the floor.

I blinked open my eyes, and my head shot up with a gasp. I quickly glanced around, checking if I was back in reality. Same castle... same city... same time of day...

Same time of day!

I stood up on my hooves, and immediately started searching for the sun with my magic. It didn't take long to find it, to my relief. My horn glowed brightly as I began to move it across the sky. I let out a relaxed sigh, completely disregarding the migraine that I had carried...

How long had it been, exactly?

Half an hour, dear.

I blinked. "Half an hour...?" I echoed. "It feels longer than that..."

Well, some things are unfortunately longer than they are.

I bit my lip, unsure how to respond. I knew what I had witnessed would haunt me, but not because it was a horrifying sight.

More because guilt was my worst enemy.

Oh? I thought I was your worst enemy. Have I been replaced?

I shook my head as I began to stalk back into my room. "No... it's been like this from the start." My horn sparked a golden aura, along with the scattered bottles spread across the floor. I, at first, lazily pushed them all together so they looked like a collapsed pile. But after a moment of hesitation, I decided to sort them properly, and stack them neatly. Once that was done, I wasn't sure what do do next.

I just stared at the empty glass containers.

Helloooo? Tia?

I flinched. "Huh... what?"

I asked you a question.

"Oh... I didn't hear you."

Discord gave a groan. I suppose it wasn't really a question, but still. I just said 'From the start, eh?'.

"...Yeah," I distantly replied, still staring at the stack of bottles.

May I just ask what that means?

I raised a brow, though he could no longer see me. "What do you think it means?"

If I could see him, he'd probably be tapping his chin, despite him already knowing the answer. It's just a guess, but I'll just go with this: none of your nemesis are your arch nemesis.

"No, they're not."

Instead, it's just yourself who is causing the pain. A slight chuckle escaped him, causing me to tense. I guess you give me a run for my money. Good on you, Princess.

I gritted me teeth. "You may be correct, but that doesn't make you any better," I retorted, my hooves itching to go downstairs to the kitchen. Through all of this, I was still staring at the pile.

As if you could ever think I'm any better anyway. He gave a snort. Even after what you've seen, I'm still just your burden that you wish you could bat away.

I cringed, then stood up, dragging my gaze away from the bottles and towards the door. I didn't respond to him, I just kept on walking. I was only half way there when a sharp pain pierced a soft part of my hoof. I gave a wince, then looked at the floor, only to see shattered glass. It took me a few minutes to remember where it came from, when a blurred memory occurred in my mind.

I lifted my head up to look at the larger pieces of the glass. Then I looked at the wall. I knew that I had only thrown the flask after I finished my drink, but there was still a slight stain splattered on the wall. I knew that no matter how much you tipped the cup, there would always be some left.

Except... it wasn't an alcohol stain that I could see anymore. My eyes widened as I watched the dried liquid change it's colour - from a plain stain, into red, and observed it drip onto the floor and spread rapidly across the carpet. I shut my eyes - I must've been seeing things.

I waited a while before daring to open my eyes again. I half expected the room to be covered in blood-like liquid, but no. It was completely normal. I stood there in confusion, before hearing a snicker echo in my mind. I gave a scowl.

"What did you do?" I demanded. He laughed even more.

Nothing, dear. That was all you!

I raised a brow. "Don't take me for a fool. That's never happened to me before."

Okay, perhaps it was something to do with you going into my consciousness. He paused for a second. Hate to break it to you, but like I said, what's in my head can corrupt you. Sometimes come to life, even. Now, I know that our consciousnesses have been connected for a while, but you've always seemed to block mine out of yours. And since you have now seen it, it'll be hard to forget it.

I flattened my ears. "So you admit it was your doing?"

Oh, no, I did nothing, like I said. But you seeing my thoughts have fully connected our minds together, so my insane thoughts are basically shared with yours.

I gave a growl, though I wasn't quite sure who I was angry at.

Perhaps I deserved a share of his insanity.

Years after that, it went on like that, every single day. Those visions I saw... they were created by my own thoughts. Half of me I think still blames him for dragging me into his mind and seeing just how he works. Then again... I probably deserved to see that. I deserved to see what I had actually imprisoned him in; not just stone, but his own insanity.

There were days that were just him annoying me, days where I ignored him, and days where I came to him, just so I could talk to someone. Unfortunately, he was that someone.

Yet, most of those days aren't worth remembering. They may have went on for, what, hundreds of years? All that really means is that it became the norm for me.

You know what else became the norm for me? The fact that no one asked about... anything. Why I seemed to talk to myself. Why I was so silent one moment, then willing to speak up the next. Until one night, that is.

I lay outside, on the slightly wet grass, under the black, night sky. Almost a millennium of practice, and I still couldn't design the night the way I wished I could. Perhaps that was a good thing, though. It was good to know that my sister could do something better than I could.

As I breathed out, a white cloud drifted from my mouth and faded into the air. My scarlet eyes followed it chasing after the wind, which eventually led my vision to a familiar statue.

I was never sure why I came to sit with him. He probably doesn't know I'm even here.

Oh, don't worry. I do.

I tilted my head back to stare at the head of the sculpture. "Did you just read my thoughts again?" I asked, keeping a flat tone. The draconequus chuckled.

Yes and no... There are times I know you're there, but you don't say anything. I just know.

"How, exactly?"

Discord paused, refusing to speak for a few heartbeats.

You bring a certain... warmth. I don't know, it's hard to explain, he sighed. I can just sense when you're around me. I'm used to the cold... you know, being stone and all.

My ears drooped, but I didn't respond.

Since I'm connected to your consciousness, I suppose the closer that you are, the more real life gets.

I kept staring at the frozen draconequus a little while longer. I then stood up on my hooves, and slowly trekked to the statue. I glanced up and down at him, then sat back down on the grass, leaning my head on the stone next to me. A shiver ran down my spine.

He was freezing.

Neither of us said anything. Heck, I wasn't even sure if he actually knew I was there. I just hoped that perhaps what he said was true.

I also wondered why I'd hope that.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear a newcomer rustle the grass below her hooves as she approached.

"Princess Celestia?" A voice squeaked from behind me. I flinched, then turned my head to spot a young, purple unicorn standing behind me.

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle," I smile spread across my lips. "What are you doing out here so late?"

The little filly gasped, "Oh.. shouldn't I be out here so late? Should I go back inside and-"

I gave a chuckle, "No, no. I'm just curious." I opened my wing. "Would you like to come and sit?"

The unicorn gave a nervous grin, then hopped over to my side and sat under my wing. I looked down at the lavender filly. "So, what are you doing out here so late?"

Her eyes glittered under the moonlight. "I just had a question... if you're okay with answering, that is."

"Of course. Ask away, my faithful student."

Twilight then looked up at the statue next to me. "Why do you sit out here every so often? Like... all alone?"

My smile faded, and my ears drooped, to my student's dismay. Once I saw the fear of disappointment in her eyes, I pulled her closer to me with my wing, sheltering her from the cold gusts of winds that flew by unpredictably.

"I feel lonely sometimes," I mused. Twilight tilted her head.

"Lonely? How would being alone help you if you're lonely?"

I gave a brief side glance the the heap of stone next to me. "It doesn't. It's like when you feel angry, so you act angry, even if it doesn't help. It's the same as that."

"Oh..." The filly snuggled up to my hoof. "Princess?"

"Mhmm?"

"Why are you lonely?"

I blinked, then lifted my head up towards the moon, which still had the haunting face tattooed onto its surface. "I... I just..." I breathed out, realizing I had tensed up. "There aren't many I can speak to these days..."

"I...Is that why you talk to yourself sometimes?"

I blinked, then looked back down at her. She stared up at me with eyes mixed with confusion and worry. I raised my hoof and gave a motherly stroke over her mane, a warm smile appearing on my face.

"I suppose it is..." I let out a huff of laughter. Twilight echoed my giggle.

"Also... er... Princess?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Why do you always sit next to that statue?" She pointed her tiny hoof to Discord, who was still in his laughing position, after all these years.

I flicked my ear. "I don't know, Twilight..." I sighed, "I don't know..."

I still don't know, moons later. I don't know why I replied to him, the first time he spoke to me. Because, at first, I thought that was all he wanted from me. For me to respond, so he could reply back with his own taunting words. But throughout these a thousand years of hearing him talk none-stop... I became used to it. I became used to him.

So what happens when things change?

I paced around the hallway, my heartbeat picking up its speed with each step I took. I tried to steady my breathing, but I couldn't, knowing what was to come.

I was broken out of my thoughts when the doors down the hallway slammed open, revealing six ponies galloping in.

"Princess! We came as soon as we could!" my student informed me. I let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank you, Twilight," I gave a nod of my head. Twilight and her friends stopped in front of the stairs. "Thank you all."

"Is this about the weather? Or the animals weird behavior?" Her mouth began sprouting these ideas. "What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there-"

I raised a hoof in the air to signal her to calm down. She immediately stopped talking. Her friends all stared up at me, searching for answers.

"Follow me." I simply said. They all did so, trotting up the stairs and trailing behind me, wondering what kind of explanation they were going to get. However, I refused to speak anything until I was surrounded by glass illustrations in the hallway I was blindly stalking towards. Soon, I saw a coloured light land on my coat. Discord's image reflected onto me, so I quickly flinched out of reach. That's when I began to explain everything from all those years ago....

"...I need you to to wield the Elements of Harmony once again, and stop Discord," I finished. "Before he thrusts Equestria into eternal chaos!" Their eyes all widened in awe.

Twilight leaned her head forward. "But why us? Why don't you-"

"Hey look, we're famous!" The lavender mare was interrupted by the squeal of Pinkie Pie, who was staring up at a window with an illustration of them wielding the elements against Nightmare Moon.

I followed the pink mare's gaze up to the glass. "You six showed the full potential of the elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship-" I bit back the name, "-to defeat a might foe..." I refused to remind myself.

I lowered my head down to my students level. "Although Luna and I once wielded the elements, it is you who now control their power," I straightened back up, tensing up my wings, "and it is you who must defeat Discord!"

Twilight gave an uncertain look, glancing over her shoulder to her friends. She then turned back to me, her expression growing more confident. She then gave a confident smile. "Princess Celestia, you can count on-"

"Hold on a second!" Pinkie Pie interrupted again, waving her hoof in the air. "Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys!" She stared straight at Twilight, her eyes almost coming out of their sockets as she repeated, "Chocolate. Rain!"

I bit my lip. Don't be fooled, my little pony. I thought to myself, remembering how I almost mentally drowned in melted chocolate. Twilight then rolled her eyes at Pinkie, then skidded over to my side.

"Don't listen to her, Princess." She grinned. "We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again."

I gave a smile, then faced the door which held the elements on the other side. I bent over and slid my horn into the lock, releasing a surge of magic. I heard the door click, then pulled my horn away, watching the door open, along with a blue glow. As the chest came into sight, I heard Rarity murmur,

"Oooh... if we keep the elements, I'll take that case!"

I lifted the chest up with my magic, then spun back around to meet the six patient mares.

"Have no fear ponies," I soothed, "I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord," I levitated the box in front of me. "With these..."

I opened it.

Nothing came out.

Twilight and her friends all gasped in horror as they realized. In shock, I dropped the chest onto the floor, stepping back. No, no, no, no! All I could do is stare at it, jaw dropped. I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot!

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie began to trot back down the hallway. "Oh well, if you need me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant straw!"

Rainbow Dash gave a huff of annoyance, flying in front of Pinkie Pie and pushing her back with the group, leaving a disappointed expression on the mare's face.

"Hey! What gives?" Pinkie protested.

I paid no attention to them. Instead, I blindly trotted away from the box, trying to take in everything. Soon, Twilight found her words.

"The elements... they're gone!" she gasped. I trotted back and forth, muttering to myself.

"That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break!" I tried to convince myself. "This doesn't make sense..." It wasn't working. I knew very well that it did. I knew how he did it, and he knew that I knew...

I heard a laugh. A laugh I hadn't heard for... what... twelve hours? For the first few hours, I thought I was going insane. Then I thought he had magically became considerate. Then I realized I was being ridiculous, and that something was wrong.

I didn't even need to check that his statue was gone to know he was free.

Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense? At first, I thought he was still speaking to me in my mind, but from the corner of my eye, I saw the six other mares looking around the room frantically, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

They could hear it too.

"Discord... show yourself!" I demanded. He just gave another chuckle. My eyes carefully scanned the room, looking for any signs that he was present. But there was nothing. No hints, no out-of-place objects... nothing.

But something flashed in my mind. A vision. I was somehow staring from the ceiling instead of the ground, straight a window which was stained with an image of Discord hovering above the three types of ponies.

So, was that where he was looking?

I blinked his thoughts away, swinging my head around to meet the window that he was staring at.

Did you miss me, Celestia? A flash occurred, and the illustrated Discord began to move. It began to speak. He began to speak, for the very first time in forever. "I've missed you..."

He then jumped out of the window, onto the next one. He found himself comfortably sitting on an image of Fluttershy, who was painted on a window that showed Twilight and her friends representing their elements. "It's been quite lonely being turned into stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you?" The drawing glared at me, his voice grating a bit, "Because I don't turn ponies into stone!"

I clenched my teeth together. "Enough!" I spat. I wasn't going to be reminded... not now. "What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

He appeared in a circle diagram that used to belong to Twilight's representation in the image. "Oh... I just borrowed them for a tinsy little while." He snapped his fingers, the diagram of the gems of the elements disappearing. I tensed up, scraping my hoof on the ground in frustration.

"You'll never get away with this, Discord!" I growled. It's not like you can hide your thoughts from me...

He floated down on the table which once held the element's drawings. He casually looked at the back of his lion paw. "Oh... I forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia." His eyes then found mine. "It's really quite... boring."

"HEY!" Rainbow Dash shot up in the air. "Nopony insults the Princess!" She dived towards the window, only to slam onto it with no success in reaching the draconequus, who had already disappeared. The pegasus pulled her face off the glass, then began hovering in place in front of the window. Discord appeared again in a larger form, a grin on his face.

"Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash!" he exclaimed, "Fame for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent."

My ears flattened against my head. There was no hiding anything from him. Not when it came to me.

"That's right, I'll always stay loyal to the Princess!" she retorted defensively.

Discord disappeared again, his voice echoing against the walls of the hallway. "We'll see about that..."

I wished that was the end of it. But he was just getting started.

He went through them all, one by one, sharing his knowledge of them all. I knew that it was all done simply to make my blood boil. I listened to his voice echo down the hallway, listing each of the mares. Rarity... Applejack... Twilight... all of them.

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle," he appeared back on Fluttershy's diagram, where he was before, "and yours is the most powerful elements - magic." Beyond that, he just began to boat about his knowledge, all just to taunt me. "Fluttershy's is kindness..." The pegaus' eyes widened at that. "And Pinkie Pie's is a personal favourite of mine... laughter!"

But you already know all of this, don't you Tia?

I pushed my anger to the back of my mind and ignored him. Instead, I distracted myself by observing him begin to shuffle on Twilight's illustration, causing Pinkie Pie to begin snickering. Twilight turned around to meet her.

"Pinkie!" She scolded, ignoring the chuckles escaping the dancing draconequus. That's when Pinkie burst out laughing.

"Gahaha... he's standing on your head! Hahahaha!" she giggled. My rage returned.

"Stop stalling, Discord!" I hissed, "What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

Discord stopped dancing, then gave a tired look at me. "Oh... so boring, Celestia! Really!"

I won't ask you again... I thought.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way!"

Then he began to change which window he appeared in drastically, to the point where I gave up looking for him, instead just listened to what he was saying. Each one of them listened to his pointless little riddle, before his image landed back where it was before and stopped moving, to my relief. I was broke out of my thoughts when I heard Twilight propose an answer to the riddle they had just heard. I didn't hear everything she said, just the word 'labyrinth', which seemed a lot like Discord to me, so I nodded in agreement.

I gave a nod. "Good look my little ponies," I lowered my horn at Twilight's side, "the fate of Equestria," I gave a gulp. "Is in your hooves."

Twilight grinned. "Thanks Princess, we won't let you down!" Her tone sounded so confident. I envied her...

The six mares spun around, galloping out of the hallway. As they did, I heard that same laughter again. I lifted my hoof off of the floor, preparing to sprint out of sight, but my hooves were glued to the cold floor. His guffaw became louder, and I continued to scan the room. I couldn't tell if it was only me who heard or not anymore...

An avian claw tapped my shoulder. I gasped, swinging my head around to meet two uneven pupils. I spun my whole body around, only so I could take a step away from the draconequus.

"Jumpy, are we?" He grinned his toothy grin, one that I had not seen for so long. "Are you not happy to see me?"

I kept my lips clamped shut, instead just glaring straight into him with a piercing stare. He, unfortunately, did not find it threatening.

"How rude." He then pouted, folding his arms across his chest. "Come on, we've been having a long distant relationship for the past millennium, you should be glad that I'm not just a voice you hear all the time."

I gave an aggressive snort, "Tell me what you've done with the elements."

He raised a brow, then began to snicker. "I really don't need to tell you." He said between giggles. His paw then lifted off of his chest and tapped his head. "Have we forgotten, Tia?"

I narrowed my eyes, before shutting them. I tried to focus on his subconsciousness, rummaging through the chaos that seemed to be flooding out of its usual place, as if it was water being released after a dam had been broken. I still managed to wade through it. I had became used to it by now.

"How am I suppose to find them in this pile of rubble?" I muttered under my breath, still continuing my fight with the turbid piles pushing me back.

"Eh... you'll get there," Discord huffed casually.

I soon managed to escape the floods, allowing me to release a mental sigh of relief. I then began to search the chaotic mind, wondering where to start.

His memories, of course.

Eventually, I reached a familiar corner of his head. I looked down the black ditch below my hooves, before stepping off the purple-and-pink checkered platform and diving into the abyss. I let my wings act like a parachute as I fell for the short while, before I arrived at his point of memory that was a mere twelve hours ago. I hovered in front of the hologram that flashed all sorts of images from last night, before I held out a hoof towards it, letting it lead my whole body into the memory.

I found myself at Discord's point of view; all black. It wasn't just that I could see what he could; I could feel what he did. What could I feel?

Nothing.

Already I was getting claustrophobic. I fought the urge to escape the flashback, focusing on what was happening.

A few moments of nothing happening passed, before I felt a cold breeze stab me in the chest. Only just now had I realized that the loosest part of me was that area, and now it was becoming... free. I felt miniature pieces of stone flicker off the fur on my body, followed by larger cracks appearing all over the front of me. It spread all the way to the bottom of my slender structure, before the stone breaking off began increasing in size. The draft swiveled around me in anticipation, waiting for my flesh to become free for grabs. The cracks spread to the back of me, this time my own muscle could help the process. I twitched at first, then shuffled, then finally shook off the concrete. The air around me sliced into my skin like knives, the feeling of reality stabbing me endlessly. I wasn't actually in control of what Discord did, but I could bet I would've done the same.

I fell off of the pillar I was standing on, and collapsed onto the bristly ground below. The grass pricked my delicate areas of my body, making me cringe. I felt like I should enjoy the feeling of a beating heart once again, but I couldn't. Such an outcast was prey for reality as I knew it. The wind, the ground, the heat, the cold all attacked me at once, pouncing on me to make sure there was no escape. I gritted my teeth at the pain... how was I meant to get used to this? How did ponies live like this?

Was this what it was like to be alive? It seems like he had forgotten...

He let out a helpless cry, before gripping the ground with his hands and letting his chaos flood through his veins so the pain could be eased. The magic managed to escape, spreading across the ground beneath us. A pit of satisfaction formed in his heart, the joy of being alive returning after so long. But I couldn't take it... I just couldn't make it through to see where he hid the-

I flashed open my eyes, breathing heavily from the experience. I didn't notice that my cheeks were wet, instead I just collapsed to what I though would be the floor, but no. I landed on something soft.

There was no one else in the room with us, so I could only assume it was him.

He held me there as I wept, my head filling up with his agonizing thoughts of being turned into stone for so long, and even worse, being set free. My tears wet the fur on his chest as I gripped his limbs with my hooves. I felt him stroke my mane, as if he was actually trying to comfort me. This time... I really couldn't tell, consciousness connected or not.

"I'm sorry..." I murmured through sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...."

Discord didn't reply, just kept stroking the top of my head.

"You know, I have to leave soon. Twilight and her friends will be at the maze in about seven minutes."

No response came from my mouth. Instead, I just gripped him tighter. I had no idea why I did such a thing, but I did.

"You can't... they'll turn you back..."

A chuckle rumbled in his throat. "I'm guessing you didn't find the part where I hid the elements?" he guessed, "Dear Tia, they're not in the labyrinth."

I opened my eyes. "But... where..."

"Can't tell you, I'm afraid. It's a surprise."

I tried to blink my tears away, but they wouldn't stop coming.

"You're acting as if you know they'll defeat you."

I felt him shrug his shoulders. "I don't know what will happen. I hope they don't beat me, don't get me wrong!" I could tell he was smirking. "But if everything goes to plan, nothing bad will happen. At least, not to me."

He then pushed me away, letting me find the strength to stand back on my hooves. I sniffed, then wiped my eyes, and finally looked up at him. Except, he wasn't there anymore. He'd already left.

"I'm sorry..." I repeated, before I galloped off towards my room.

My bones ached. Today had been tough; recovering Equestria was never an easy task. I gave a sigh into my pillow, however it was not satisfied. I wasn't sure what emotion it was.

I may have been exhausted, however I couldn't shut my eyes. Unlike usual, however, it wasn't because I couldn't. It was more because I didn't want to.

I was waiting for a voice to begin to taunt me.

Two hours I had waited. Nothing had came. So that's when I decided to speak first.

"Discord?" I murmured.

At first, nothing came. Then,

Enjoying your slumber, Tia?

I cringed. He wasn't using his usual mocking tone. This time, he spoke with pure hatred.

"No," I simply answered, flipping onto my other side.

Ain't that a shame?

I bit my lip. "I know you're angry."

Do you expect me to call you a genius?

My eyes moved to my hooves. "I had to."

Of course you did.

My eyes began to water. "Blame me, I don't ca-" I stopped myself. "I don't mind."

Don't expect that I'll except your apology.

I gave another sigh, "I wasn't about to let my student suffer her loss, Discord. I had no choice but to remind her of her friendship..."

You know, Princess, I don't even know why I bother speaking to you. If this is how it always is, not matter what the case, I'm beginning to agree with you when you tell me to shut up.

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

No answer.

"Discord?"

...

"Discord!" I called. Still, nothing came. I sat up in my bed, glancing around the room, even though I knew he wouldn't be there. "Well... that's what I wanted from the start..." I murmured, "I just wanted him to shut up..."

So, I lay back onto my pillow, trying to enjoy the new found silence.

Five moons had passed, yet the quiet was still so alien to me. I may listen to ponies lollygag all day, but they were all so flat, so formal. There was something missing. Someone to at least attempt to lighten the mood - at least for him.

"Discord?" I said quietly. Nothing came.

It had been ten moons since I had gained peace in my mind. I should be used to it by now.

Yet I still called out the name, somehow hopefully. I lay on my mattress, struggling to shut my lids. I needed some encouragement. I needed a final act of stress to get me to rest.

"Discord?"

He didn't answer. My ears drooped, and I continued to stare up at my room's ceiling.

Thirteen moons. I sat next to the fire, looking over the last of Twilight's friendship report.

Or lack there of.

I couldn't help but give a chuckle at Applejack's joke for a letter. Sometimes the saying 'you learn something new everyday' didn't always hold up, and that was okay. What amused me the most, however, is Twilight's letter that was shortly sent to me afterwards, repeatedly apologizing for Applejack's lack of respect. I smiled.

"I'm even assumed to be a stick in the mud by my own student." I said out loud, expecting someone to agree.

But no, no one agreed. I frowned... why did I still expect such things?

"Discord?" I whispered. No one heard me.

The night after my niece's wedding. My horn still stung from where the Changling Queen had blasted it, but not so much that I had a headache of any sort. I let the breeze flow through my mane, allowing the chilled gust comfort the slightly burnt horn.

"I'm really loosing my touch in fighting off villains lately..." I sighed, wondering if there would be someone to say that I was never good at it in the first place. I squinted.

"Discord?"

Still nothing.

Nothing but relief filled my veins at this moment. I thought that the return of the Crystal Empire would be catastrophic, for nothing but faint memories of what it once was so many years ago remained in the huge city. However, Twilight had failed to disappoint me yet again, and now she was on her way to succeeding in her full studies.

I wished there would be someone to tell me not to get too comfortable, for that's unhealthy. Which could actually be true at times.

But no, no one dared to tell me that. I only knew one who could.

"Discord?"

As if he'd want to.

I leaned on the edge of my carriage, watching as Ponyville came all the more closer as I was dragged across the sky, alongside another carriage, who didn't actually hold anything with a beating heart.

At least, not for long.

I felt the chariot bump as it hit the ground. I waited for it to fully stop before I stepped off of it. I may be showing a confident posture right now, but in reality, I felt like the world was about to collapse under my hooves.

Oh, how reality could sting.

My eyes followed my student walking up to me.

"With all due respect, Princess Celestia," she took a deep breath, "HOW COULD YOU BRING DISCORD HERE?!" She blinked, surprised at her level in voice. The unicorn then lowered her head, "...your majesty."

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I'm fully aware that the last time Discord was here, he caused serious havoc." I watched his statue get pulled off of his chariot.

Rainbow Dash scrunched up her muzzle. "If by 'serious havoc', you mean turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world!"

Rarity stepped forward. "And tricking us into becoming the opposites of our true selves!"

And, surprisingly, Pinkie Pie joined in, "And making it rain yummy delicious chocolate milk with not a single dollop of whipped cream to go with it in sight. NOT A SINGLE DOLLOP!"

I nodded. "Yes, I understand," I glanced over my shoulder to look at his statue. "...But I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed to serve good instead of evil." I turned back to them. "This is why I have brought him here, because I believe you are the ponies who can help him do just that."

Spike began to panic, but I didn't really hear him. I was, instead, thinking - no, hoping that Discord would plain out mock my ridiculous excuse.

Discord...?

I broke out my thoughts. "Need I remind you that you were the ponies who turned him back into stone like this in the first place?" A pang of guilt returned to me when I said that.

Twilight just gave a nervous smile. "...I suppose we could just use the Elements of Harmony against him if he gets out of hand..."

Spike took a step back. "We probably need a volunteer to run away right now to go and get them... I'll do it!" he offered, only to be interrupted by myself.

"No need, Spike," I told him, "I have them right here, and I've cast a spell so that Discord can't take them and hide them again." I have had time to explore his mind, and I eventually found out a way to do such a thing. Our consciousnesses were still connected, even if he didn't speak to me anymore. And... I found out a few more things about him, too.

I then trotted up to my student. "Now where is Fluttershy? I believe she may know best how to begin reforming Discord."

Rainbow Dash flew up to my side to face me. "Fluttershy?" she echoed. "Really?"

I nodded. "She has a kind heart, my little pony. You all do, however Fluttershy seems to be the most accepting mare. Her care for wildlife of all sorts would be useful in this situation." I also need someone who can show him the good things in reality, and I am not that pony. I was tempted to add.

"Ugh..." The pegasus gave an uncertain sigh. "Alright, if you say so. I'll go fetch her and slow-poke AJ."

It had been a day. That's all. Just a day.

Is that all it had taken? Or did I misread the letter Twilight had sent me? Perhaps they had just turned him back into stone.

No... I remembered the words 'reformed' and 'succeed'.

Perhaps everything was possible when it came to the draconequus, even if this wasn't his reality.

The carriage landed on the ground, and I immediately stepped off of it. I stared at the six mares in front of me, along with a newcomer. There Discord stood, beside his new friends, calm and waiting. I wasn't sure if it were real.

At the same time, we both began to walk towards each other slowly. I was the first one to speak.

"...You succeeded?" It was more aimed at the six friends than him. Yet, he still answered me, for the first time in... oh, I've lost count.

"Yes, Princess," he said, stopping in front of me. To my surprise, he gave a bow, which didn't seem like his usual mocking act. "I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil." I was sure I heard him mutter something under his breath. "Most of the time..."

I couldn't help but crack a smile.

Good...

The journey to Canterlot was silent. Discord and I sat on opposite ends of the carriage, not looking at each other. Both of us were unsure how to react. The corners of my eyes curled up, before I hesitantly turned to look at him.

I took a deep breath. My mouth quivered as it opened.

"...Discord?"

His mouth stayed shut, at least at first. Then...

"Yes, Princess?"

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I choked a sob, before throwing my hooves on him. The draconequus became stiff. I buried my muzzle into his chest, like I still wasn't sure if he was flesh and bone. But I found more than that. I found warmth. I found breath. I found a heartbeat. But most importantly...

I found a voice.

Author's Note

I finally got this thing done.

Like seriously.

I don't even remember when I started working on it.

Why is writing Celestia and Discord like a drug to me? It's so addictive :c