Chapters Author's Note
Brick Maze
I stepped out of the school, the steps down a bit icy. I adjusted my backpack, the straps digging heavily into my shoulders. Ponies were pouring out into the street, a flock of griffons ran down into the street as well. It seemed like I was the odd man out yet again. I stretched my arms and flexed my fingers. I didn't mind too bad, I wasn't the only human at the school, I just didn't really like the group that stuck together.
I started off down the steps, my jacket barely kept the cold out. I stepped down onto the sidewalk, caught up in the rush of ponies heading home. Manehattan always felt like the closest thing to home, tall buildings, glass walls, cold in the right places, warm in the odd places. I blew a stream of air upward, watching it curl up in the cold.
It was always odd walking home, I was a good foot taller than everyone else, but I still felt surrounded. I felt like momma duck walking amongst a herd of ducklings. Except the ducklings were horses, and momma duck was a man. I scratched my head. "Papa duck...."
A few ponies looked back at me without stopping. One laughed and turned back while the other stepped away from me. I bit my tongue and worked my way away from the carts and carriages that filled the main street. I ducked out of the crowd of schoolkids and into an alley. It stank of piss and was poorly lit, but I'd spent enough time in Equestria to know crackheads weren't a thing, just homeless ponies and the occasional maniac inhabited the seedier of areas.
"Hey nerd." A rough voice shoved past as a pony ran further into the alley.
I coughed softly as I bounced off the wall. A bright blue colt trotted backwards through the alley. "Yo, Ross, what's up?"
Ross shook his head. "Nothing man, trotting on glass in an alley is kinda weird though." He lifted his hooves, the rubber soled hoof style boots making a satisfying crunch as he stepped on a bottle. "You gonna get a hooker or something?"
I scoffed. "No dude, streets are just crowded is all."
Ross waited for me to catch up with him, the massive walls surrounding us were oddly comforting. "So you go between two highrises? Why not just get a cab?"
I patted my pockets. "I'm broke."
"Good reason I guess." Ross turned and walked with me towards the next street. "Coulda' just used the gym door to get out here."
I felt my cheek tighten up as I frowned. "I hate using the gym door." I rubbed my arms.
Ross shook his head. "Surf?"
I nodded. "Who else?"
"Babs? Her little club of junior smokers? The jocks?"
I laughed and kicked a broken piece of concrete out of my way. "Babs is my friend...and the other two are the same thing really."
Ross laughed and hurried to the end of the alley. "They really still bother you? She might want you man--"
"Dead? Yeah." I stretched my arms to rid my skin of the creep of thinking of Surf. "She's made it really clear she like, legit, hates me."
Ross reared up and shrugged. "What exactly did you do to her?"
"Man, I don't know." I walked out into the street and looked towards the beach, snow covered sand oddly beautiful. "Racism?"
Ross glared at me. "Really?"
"No." I looked back towards the school. "I must have done something somewhere along the line."
"Or maybe she just doesn't like you." Ross leaned against the wall of the alley and peeked at a passing group of fillies. "Maybe it's a power thing."
I shrugged. "Don't really think it matters. I did something at some point in time to make an enemy." I stretched my arms, my jacket rustling loudly. "I think it might be the music thing."
Ross turned to me with a frown. "Choir?"
I shook my head. "It's not choir. Anyways, I'm gonna--"
Ross shoves a hoof into my side. "Don't! Back up, back up dude!" He started backing into the alley. "She's coming dude!"
"Oh Jesus!" I spun around, my foot pivoting on a piece of busted brick. "Fuck! " I tripped forward and slammed into the concrete walkway. A bit of rubble jabbed straight through my sleeve and deep into the meat of my shoulder. I let out a sharp whine and leaned against the wall to try and right myself. "Ross!?" Ross had bolted out the opposite side of the alley, leaving me limping after him. "Ross, you punk bitch!"
"Running?" Surf's sweet voice washed over my back. "Too bad you're a retard."
I took a deep breath and turned around. Four ponies and a griffon were standing in the alley, one of them already fronting on one of the homeless sleeping on a box. "Really? We really doing this again?"
Surf stepped forward, yellow mane short. "Why'd you run?"
I clutched my arm, the deep pain growing stagnate and achy. "Because you're going to chase me...because you always do."
Surf glared at me. "Why you in the alley? You know you're not--"
"I'm just trying to get home, okay!" I stepped back, my foot brushing a brick. I ducked down slowly and held my hand up. "Look, what do you want?"
Surf stepped up to me. "Got any bits?"
I shook my head. My hand slowly scanned around for the brick.
Surf frowned hard. "Your head thingy. I want it."
I grabbed my earphones, sat heavy around my neck. "Or not...." My arm hurt like hell, but the brick found its way between my fingers, rough and broken it would sure as hell do the job.
"Hey!" A thick accented mare shouted into the alley. "The heck's goin' on!?"
I stood up with the brick behind my back. Babs was standing off at the end of the alley. Surf turned around. "None of your business blank flank--"
Babs slowly walked over. "Yeah? Well it just got to be my business!" She looked up at me. "York, you okay?"
I licked my lips and flexed my fingers around the brick. "All things considered."
Surf's friends walked around behind me, blocking me off. Surf walked up to Babs. "See, he's fine, so how about you go and play with your marefriends?"
My heart went cold as Surf went down. Babs was left standing forehead sporting an almost immediate red mark across her forehead. "Oh shit!" I whirled around and held the brick up. Surf's friends stepped back immediately. "Back the hell up! Pony verses brick, you're not gonna win this one!"
Babs ran over. "You should probably get outta here." She bumped me towards the nearest street with her flank. "Go on, get out of here."
I licked my lips. "Don't have to tell me twice."
Surf let out a sharp scream as she stood up. "My nose is freaking bleeding you bitch!" She whirled around, muzzle bloody and bruised.
I looked back to Babs. "Hey...so...thanks, but I think this is gonna get bad soon."
Babs kept walking backwards shoving me out towards the street I'd come from. "Well, run. You know where to find me after."
I took a deep breath. "Should I bring ice?"
Babs sighed loudly. "Probably."
I nodded. "Alright...see you there." I hurled my brick at a wall. The two ponies blocking off the main street let out horrible screams and bolted. I grabbed my arm and ran straight into the endless line of ponies. A flurry of screamed followed me as I bolted through the street, dodging a carriage. A heavy flapping came from overhead. I looked behind me and found a griffon flying right after me. "Oh come on, screw off!" I held onto my headphones as I ran down another sidewalk.
I ducked into an alley, a pair of guards were slowly walking towards us. The griffon bounded off the alley wall, dead set on mutilating me no doubt. "Get back here you jerkoff!"
I raced down the alley, my music drawing my attention away from the horrid pain in my lungs. "Screw you! Follower! Prick! I bet you think this'll get you laid!" I ducked under a busted fence the griffon simply opting to go through it instead of over. "Oh my god, you're a psycho!"
The griffon started running after me. "Stop running you prick!"
"Fuck you, stop chasing me!" I swung into another alley, the brick maze slowly eating away my sense of direction. I scrambled up to another chain-link fence. "Oh come on! Why do they even have these when ponies can fly!? This is some racist crap man!"
A sharp scream came from the bend in the alley. "Oh dear Celestia, help! "
I hung my fingers in the fence. "What the hell?"
"There's glass in my foot! Somepony, help!"
I wrapped my other hand on the fence. "Suck to be you then!" I started to climb, the next street bustling and full of ponies. I just had to make it there and I'd be fine.
"Please...somepony!?"
I stopped as I straddled the fence. "God damn it...." I slowly made my way back down. "I swear to god...I'm just gonna get punched." I hit the ground hard and slowly walked back to the split in the alley. I peeked around the corner, the griffon was standing against a wall with one of his hind legs raised. A deep red was starting to drip from his heel. "See! Shoes man!" I walked over and rubbed my arm.
The griffon clutched his leg and looked up at me. "This is your fault you prick!"
"You can fly! How is this my fault?!" I held my good arm out. "I don't have to help you ya know!"
The griffon bounced on his one good leg. "Yes you do! Get a doctor!"
I sighed loudly. "You don't need a doctor...well, you probably do, but I mean immediately." I set my backpack down and grabbed a few stolen packs of gauze. "Thank you nurse...hopefully she didn't need these." I was getting them for Babs, but one pack for intended use wouldn't hurt.
I ducked down before the griffon's leg. A decent shard of glass was wedged slightly in his biggest pad. "Is it bad?!"
I hissed softly. "It's terrible." I looked up at him. "You might lose the leg."
His eyes went wide. "Wha-- Arugh fuck! " I yanked the glass out cleanly and tossed it down the alley. "You're an asshole!"
"You keep saying that I won't help!" I pulled the gauze around his foot, wrapping it a few times until you couldn't see the blood through the beige wrap. "There, good enough." I zipped my bag up and stood. "Should probably get some actual help though, that shit is nas--"
I woke up on the ground. "What the hell?" My nose and eyebrow felt like they had just been smacked with a bat. I squirmed on the ground as a pair of dark heather talons wrapped around my backpack straps.
"Get up...stupid." The griffon tossed me against the opposite wall. He shook his talon and stretched his leg. "If anyone asks, I kicked your ass!"
I touched the bridge of my nose. "You fucking did!" I leaned my head down and pressed my hands against either side of my nose. "Bastard!"
The griffon stretched his wings. "It woulda been worse.... Nerd." He flew up and left me alone, bruised and lost, in the alley.
I stood there for a bit, left to try and collect my battered body and spun around mind. I took a deep breath and started off towards the streets again. "Such a prick...." I would have either a black eye or a swollen nose for a week because of that. I could only take solace in the fact that he'd have that cut for longer.
Back on the open concrete walkways of Manehattan I started to get my bearings. I needed to get to the house, Babs would be waiting.
Author's Note
Babs
I took a deep breath as the apartment building Babs and I hung out in came into view. Her aunt owned a few apartment buildings and set Babs up with a room of her own. I hurried around the back. The long alley between the two residential streets was covered in fire escapes and seemingly pointless windows that ended facing the damp storage areas that sat at the bottom of the buildings' rear.
I hurried over and caught a the ladder I usually used. Babs wasn't supposed to have anyone in her apartment, but that wasn't about to stop me from hanging out. "Damn you...." I leaned against the ladder, my limp arm still rather useless. "Pony...." I hurried up, barely reaching the first platform in time. "Damn you and your ladders."
I kept climbing, step after step I got up towards the fifth floor. A few ponies watched me climb, some simply bored that I was at it again. One leaned their head out of their window. "Kid, get the hell down from there! This is like the thirtieth time!"
I looked back at the orange pony. "Hey...I know."
The pony rubbed his face. "Babs?"
"Yes Babs!" I sat on a step and looked down at her. "Why?"
The stallion leaned against his windowsill. "You know she's a lesbian, right? You're not getting laid off her."
I shrugged and started up again. "Okay, wasn't my plan, so cool." I hurried up again, fourth floor showing off a mare's head slowly bobbing up and down. "Nice...." I hurried up to our floor and set my bag down. I couldn't unlock it from the outside, so I had to wait until Babs let me in.
I set my bag down and sat against her window. I watched the snow slowly flutter down the alley, a few pegasus guiding the far off clouds overhead. I looked at the end of my shoe, the clouds blocking out the sun perfectly so that only my toe was lit. I pulled my headphones up and crossed my arms. The music flooded against my ears, heavy pops and loud ringing strums melted time.
I wasn't exactly ecstatic about our set up, but what else could I do. She was my friend, I was stealing gauze for her, and she saved my ass. It wasn't like I could ditch. It wasn't like I wanted to either. I would just have to chill and wait until I either froze to death or Babs showed up.
The snow was pretty at least. I couldn't really complain about being bored, the music in my ears kept me entertained enough, bobbing my head and shifting in place. I wished I could have brought my guitar, but somepony would have called the police or guard, something about strangling a cat last time.
I closed my eyes and let the music flip over. I felt my eyes pop open, some horrid seventy's love song started to play. "Whoa, what the crap?" I pulled my player from my pocket. "Who the hell is Bootsy? Euugh ." I switched it to something a bit more modern. It wasn't a terrible song, but not something I wanted to listen to before meeting up with Babs.
A loud glassy rattle came from behind me. "York. "
I stood up and faced the window. "About time, I was-- Holy shit!" I leaned back against the safety rail. "Babs, what happened!?" She was sporting a shiner right across her right eye and a massive welt on her forehead, her nose was bleeding or rather, had bled, and a cut had split her lip. "Babs, what the hell?"
Babs shook her head and pushed her window open. "You should see the other ponies." She laughed heartily, ending up wheezing like a battered squeaky toy. "And you look like you got it bad too."
I shook my head. "You know, helped someone, got punched in the mouth. Pretty normal for me." I laughed softly and threw myself into the apartment. "So, hard fight?"
Babs sauntered over to her kitchen nook. "Hard? Nah, just a bit uneven."
I flopped down on the inside wall and slammed the window shut. The warm air inside slid up my jacket and sat nicely against my skin. "Well, you didn't have to help." I set my bag down and started looking through the supplies I'd taken. "I coulda handled it."
"With a brick?" Babs swung around towards me with a bottle of water in her hoof. "That probably wasn't a great idea."
I shrugged and pulled out a roll of gauze. "It was better than letting them just steal my stuff."
Babs tossed the bottle down and walked up to me, standing tall with her front thrust out. "Well, looks like--"
I went to wrap the gauze around a massive bruise on her foreleg. "I got griffon punched." I slowly wrapped up her leg as she poured the water over my head. "But he stepped on glass, so I still feel like I came out ahead."
Babs spit the bottle out and spun around, her tail slapping me as she went. "Sure, so you're okay?"
I licked my lips and wrapped up a cut on her flank. "Nothing serious, what about you?"
Babs flexed her back leg. "No worse than training."
I shook my head. "Pony boxing is still weird to me. It's all kicking, no punching."
Babs backed away and pulled a box of band aids from my pack. "Still hurts about as much." She stuck one to the cut across my nose. "Here, do me."
I scoffed loudly and grabbed the box. "Pff , that's gay." I started putting a few band aids on her face. "Like, Surf levels of homo."
Babs didn't laugh, she just frowned and turned away. "Yeah, right?"
I coughed softly and finished up cleaning myself up. "So uh, thanks I guess. I feel bad for getting you caught up in that." I stood up and looked around. "So, I mean, like.... TV?" I pointed towards her living room, a simple square with a TV on the wall and a cheap couch facing it. "I don't think it's really gonna be a good day to practice fighting or singing or junk."
Babs stretched out her back leg, tight muscles straining even in their bruised state. "Yeah, something not like, rough." Babs tapped her hooves on the ground and swung over. "You wanna order some food or something?"
I tossed my backpack towards her door. "I'm cool, if you want something I guess I could throw in some bits." I walked over to her couch and flopped down. "If you want, like I said I can take it or leave it."
Babs hurried over and jumped up next to me. "I'll be fine." She leaned against me and sat back on her haunches. "You mind?"
I shifted in place and sank deeper into the couch. "Not really. Long day right?"
Babs let out a long sigh and closed her eyes. "Yep." She wiggled in place, warm against my jacketed arm. "You mind if I get some shuteye?"
I scooted away from her, letting my elbow rest against the arm of the couch. "No? I mean, it's your house." I looked behind us, towards the door. "I can go if you want. If you're in heat or something like, tired or--"
Babs shook her head and scooted next to me. "I ain't. Just tired." She coughed softly.
I bit my tongue. "I can let you sleep."
Babs patted my knee. "If ya want. I mean, we always hang out, so I won't kick ya out."
I scratched the arm of the couch. "Then I guess I'll stay? I don't know...."
"Alright." Babs leaned her head against my shoulder. "Cold out, so I appreciate it."
I felt my stomach settle. "Oh, is that why?" I wiggled up and took my jacket off. "Here." I swung my jacket behind her and let it wrap her up. She pulled it closed around her, keeping her forelegs tucked inside.
Babs looked up at me with a smile as I sat back down. "Thanks, York." She leaned against me before I could settle in and forced me up against the side of the couch.
I looked off towards the window. "...So how's your marefriend?" I coughed into my hand and hugged the arm of the couch.
Babs looked up at me from under her eyebrows, eyes weak, begging for something I couldn't quite understand. "I don't have one...."
I stretched my fingers. "I just figured.... Never really wanted to bring it up--"
"Do you watch porn?" Babs words made my heart jump up into my mouth.
I coughed heavily and shifted around in place. "Uh, yeah? I think most people do."
Babs nodded. "I do. Just got a computer set up here, not much, but it's there if you know where to look."
My heart was beating like mad, my tongue forced into a knot. "Babs...you sure you're not--"
"You watch mares? Or.... I mean, ponies? Griffons? Humans?" Babs gave me a little room and stretched her neck.
I took a deep breath and crossed my legs. "Just...normal I guess."
Babs nodded. "More from humans for me, it's mostly humans... some times mares."
I bit my lip. "You know I can't really set you up with anyone, right? You're like my only friend with a vagina." I laughed softly and looked over to her, my tongue stuck out between my smile. "You're better than me at getting them."
Babs frowned and looked towards her TV. "Nah, you could get a filly real easy."
I scoffed, happy to see the conversation shift away from porn. "You've seen Surf, only straight mare I know and she hates everything about me."
Babs' frown grew heavier. "Heh , yeah.... But you could."
I shook my head. "I'm fine. I've got friends, people to hang out with."
Babs looked down at her hooves, my blue jacket wrapped around her still. "So, you wanna stay the night? You said we could hang out."
I shrugged. "Like the night? Well, I wouldn't mind not having to walk at night, getting stabbed by a homeless isn't exactly appealing." I looked out the window, watching the snow fall with the orange sunlight bouncing off the brick buildings. "I guess."
Babs bit her tongue and frowned. She puffed out her cheeks slightly and slid away. "Do you wanna watch porn? We could."
I felt my eye twist slightly. "What, like together? I heard about people laughing at gay porn and stuff...or making fun of hentai and all that weird crap, but that's like.... I don't know, I guess you're like a guy friend, right?" I scratched my head with my free hand. "Uh, probably not going to watch porn though.... I mean, don't want things to get weird...er, weirder. Talking horses and all that I mean." I bit the end of my tongue. "No? No. I'm good right here." My skin creeped as I thought of watching porn with my best friend, let alone with a girl.
Babs sighed loudly and leaned deeper into my side. "Then we're just gonna stay here? Like this?"
I let out a long groan and leaned back against her. "I guess so...." I fought her for a bit before we found a middle ground where we were both pushing but neither of us would topple. "... My face hurts."
Babs nodded. "You might have a concussion. Not supposed to sleep with a concussion."
I shook my head. "No, don't say that. Jinx me and I'm gonna end up in the hospital."
Babs' breathing caught for just a second. "Nah...."
"Uh, yeah." I sounded like a punk. "Anyways, taking a nap does sound good. You mind?"
Babs rubbed up against me. "Nah."
"Cool." I closed my eyes and leaned back. "Nap would feel good anyways. Make my everything hurt less."
Babs muttered softly, my brain already to checked out to hear. I need rest, and while she was acting weird, I knew I wouldn't end up in some organ harvesting ring. And between my face, my arm, and my lack of a jacket, I couldn't say no to some rest.
Author's Note
Education
I watched as one of the human teachers sat in front of an entire auditorium of juniors and sophomores. "So.... The BPH said they would be here by now." He coughed into his hand and shifted left and right. "Bureau of Public Health...in case you don't know."
Babs leaned against me. "So what's this about? "
I scratched my head. "Like sex ed I think. I don't know." I bumped Babs away with my shoulder. "Seriously, some space?"
Babs scooted closer. "What's your problem?" She glared at me, squeezed against me in the set of bleachers that overlooked the auditorium. "Well?"
"You're touching my foot!" I shoved her away with my elbow.
Babs shoved me back and put her hoof on my toes. "Yeah? Make me stop!"
I leaned forehead to forehead with her. "Babs, this won't end well if you--" Before I could start a fight the doors to the outside world were flung open. A pony, a griffon, a human, and a deer walked in, all dressed in dark grey uniforms. "Whoa, who the hell are they?" I asked, poking Babs and pointing to the incoming multiracial posse.
Babs cocked her head. "Uh, don't know."
I felt myself grow cold and shiver as the deer looked at my general direction. "That's not a normal deer...that one is like...like the ponies." I rubbed my wrists. "Kinda creepy." The ponies walked out and bumped the teacher out of the way. The human set down a table and the deer levitated out a weird screen thing. He looked like a unicorn, but skinnier, bearing a bright white coat with a hint of green, and with antlers instead of a horn. Babs and I looked at each other, green eyes just as confused as me. "It's weird, right?"
Babs nodded and looked over at the crowd. "Yeah...." She wrapped a hoof around my arm. "Real freaky."
I looked down at my arm, now sporting a fresh brown mare leg. "Uh...Babs, you scared?"
Babs nodded. "A little."
I looked back to the mini crowd, the mic on the table picking up a few people talking. "They--signed it, right? " A bunch of chatter later and the group at the center of the room spread out. The deer levitated the microphone before his face. "Alright, I know you were expecting the BPH, but they're busy tending to the west coast." His voice was tender but with a strange strength on the tail end. Like he was labored for breath, or perhaps overburdened by it. "We're from Storm Side University, and we'll be handling your reproduction educational classes." He took a deep breath, icy air floating from his mouth despite the warmth of the room. It made my skin crawl, it was like he was a zombie. "This includes physical reproductive health between same species, hetero-species, homosexual and heterosexual, if you have any questions feel free to ask me or my colleagues. That said, we're not here to field stupid questions."
The room burbled slightly. My heart warmed up as he spoke on. "If you're going to ask us a dumb question, you can escort yourself outside. We're coming down to help you, and if you don't want legitimate help, we don't need to speak." The deer turned to the griffon. "Sharps here is twenty two. He's our resident expert on stupidity, so if you must ask a seemingly dumb question, ask him."
The griffon glared over at the deer. I laughed softly and tried to cover my mouth. Babs was wrapped around my arm like a snake. "Uh, Babs, you still scared?"
Babs looked up at me. "Nah, why?"
I looked down at my arm and flipped my chin at it. "Can I have this back?"
Babs glared at me. "No. Coulda asked nicely...." She leaned against me and pulled my arm tight.
I turned back to the crowd and raised my hand. The room went quiet as the deer spotted me. "You, in the red."
I tried to stand up, held in place by Babs. "So, are you gonna teach us other species junk too?"
The deer grew an ugly, angry, frown. "Are you--" The griffon leaned over and started talking to the deer, unheard on our end. "Oh...I see. There will be optional courses if you choose to learn about other species reproductive systems. They will be offered, not mandatory."
"Cool, thanks!" I sat back down, my plan to figure out what the hell was wrong with Babs could start soon enough. I figured she was just in heat and getting all clingy. It wasn't the first time mares got all weird in class, just the first time I saw it outside of school. Seemed like a pain in the ass to be like that, then again, getting nailed in the balls by a soccer ball wasn't much better.
The deer's voice pulled me back into reality. "Alright, I'll be handling inter-species relations, anyone else can figure out where to go."
I nudged Babs, her eyes closed, cheek laid against my shoulder. "I like this guy. ... Babs?" I shook my arm, the mare refused to open her eyes. "Babs...." The crowds started to disperse around us. "Babs...people are leaving. Babs come on...." I pulled my arm, trying to get her back to reality.
A loud snort came from down the steps. "I think you should come with me."
I watched the visible puff of air drift past. I turned to face the deer, his coat greener from this angle, his eyes sharp and oddly harrowing. "Uh...hi--"
The deer nodded. "Hello. Seems like you're having a problem there."
Babs shook her head. "Nope."
I looked at the deer, pleading with my eyes. "She's just in heat or something.... And we're not--" I felt something tug me off the ground. "Hey!"
The deer shook his head and turned towards the steps down. "Sure. Do me a favor and save it. I'd rather avoid having some teen couple spawning a hybrid...."
I found myself floating through the air with Babs still clutching my arm. "This is crap! Man, we're not a couple--"
The stag snorted angrily. "I'm not a man, dude ."
"And Babs isn't my girlfriend, old man!" I flailed helplessly as I was levitated down the bleachers, Babs herself in tow. "Hey!"
The deer just rolled his eyes and hurried on towards the door into the school's exercise areas. A few white trailers were sitting out on the blacktop basketball courts and backboards. Watching ponies play basketball was absolutely amazing, but sports were never my thing. "You two...exactly the reason Celestia called us down." He looked back at me, his head not bald, just maneless. "How old are you? Fourteen?"
I coughed hard. "Sixteen, and sixteen...jerk." I crossed my arms, the floating was sending my stomach into a knot. "Where are you even from? I didn't think deer lived in Equestria."
His tail wiggled around a bit. "Storm Side, college up north. Not as far north as deer land, but still close enough for me." He levitated me and Babs over to a white trailer and stepped up. The door flung open with a plasticy groan. "We'll be back for the college fair, you should see about attending if you can stand the cold."
I felt myself hover upright, Babs still holding my arm with her eyes jammed shut. "Or you could put me down and let me go to the class I should be taking...just saying."
The deer laughed and set me down on the floor. "From the looks of it, this is the right class for you."
I stood up, Babs yanked upright onto two hooves. "She's not my girlfriend! She's my best friend, and she's a fucking lesbian!" I stomped my foot. "Babs, help me here!"
Babs nodded. "Hmm, yeah sure. "
"God damn it!" I lurched forward, the cheap portable classroom squeaking as I tried to get after the deer man, already hiding behind a cheap desk in the corner. "Listen to me here, can you find out what's wrong with--"
The deer picked me up by the collar and levitated me back a few steps. "Take a seat, I'll assume the other classes will start, but it seems like a pressing matter for you."
"York smash!" I shouted, dragging myself over to a chair. "Why am I--"
The deer snapped a ruler against his desk. The crack making me jump and finally forcing Babs to stand on her own. "Sit, both of you!" He stepped out into the middle of the room before us. "Honestly...control yourselves. To be honest, you're two young people who could end up in a compromising situation. And to be honest I don't care if she's just in heat , if anything this should prove your point. Now sit down and listen to me!" He stomped his hoof, no where near as intimidating with his cloven hooves.
I bit my lip and both Babs and I found seats next to eachother. "Alright...so what--"
"Sex, reproduction, relationships, and health advice." The deer nodded a few times and went back to his desk. "Now, how much do you both know?"
I leaned back in my seat and looked to Babs. "Uh, penis in vagina, baby comes out about a year later." I shrugged. "Works for ponies and other stuff right?"
The deer rolled his eyes. "Hybrid children are a thing, but they extend to any equestrian species...human included."
I scratched my neck. "For ponies right? And I--"
The deer stretched his neck. "Ponies, griffons, diamond dogs, dragons, all able to crossbreed with eachother. And...deer I suppose, not enough of us around to really be noticeable though."
I felt my stomach grumble, the noise all the more apparent. "So like, anyone?"
The deer walked up to me. "So, like, anyone."
Babs looked towards the door. "But it's only during heat, right?"
The deer shook his head. "Heat has never been a completely automatic thing. It increases the odds from standard to extremely high. An evolutionary step away from the horses your kind came from, and more in line with the domestic lives you lead now." The deer scratched at the floor. "Common misconception, I know."
Babs tapped her hooves together. "Oh...."
The deer nodded. "Normal non heat odds are about one in four to be rough, one in two in heat, ask Hinkle, she'll be able to tell you more about ponies." He turned to me. "And John can tell you more about humans. Unless you think you know everything."
I sank into my seat and crossed my arms. "Well I know how penis works...."
"Yes, well, perhaps you're both just a little more potent than you think." The deer turned to face a small board inlayed into the wall. "Now I'd draw you a diagram, but I think you know the mechanics." He scribbled a few cheesy drawings onto the board and stepped aside. "Pony, human, one generation down." He snapped his ruler below to a crude stick figure with pony legs. "From there, satyrs, can breed with their own kind, as any other hybrid race can. Now, that said, there is evidence to suggest Griffons were once a hybrid race that shifted over time, but I don't think you two will have to worry about that."
I slowly zoned out as he started talking. Little by little my brain was dripped full of information on horse ovaries and human testicles. Babs and I split up for a few days after that. I couldn't be around her right after learning how fertile mare pussy was, bad thoughts would creep into my mind. Mares still didn't appeal to me, but knowledge gained, some inherent breeding idea rattled around my skull.
Author's Note
Babs
"So, you know she wants you right?" Ross asked, laid down across a desk.
I glared at him. "You don't say? I thought she was just grabbing me for shits and giggles." I grabbed my head and tipped my chair back. "Of course I know. Have to admit, I really thought she was into mares for a while." I dropped my face into my hands and groaned loudly, a sharp echo bouncing through the empty classroom. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Go after her." Ross rolled onto his back and stretched his legs. "She's cute, I mean, it's certainly a special kind of mare in there. Not like...I mean, charming for reasons, not conventional?"
I glared at Ross. "No shit...." I scratched up and down my scalp. "One problem man, mares aren't really my thing." I rubbed my cheek. "I mean, like-- Fuck! Stop saying mean and like , you fucking idiot!" I slapped my temple with my wrist. "Stop it York, stop!"
Ross rolled onto his side. "Dude, don't hit yourself."
"Screw you!" I hopped up from my chair, kicking one over as I stepped back. "I'm in deep shit here man!" I touched my chest. "I don't-- Man...either I tell her the truth and she cries on me or I lie and have to pretend things are okay. It's not okay!"
Ross shrugged. "Seems like a you problem."
I growled loudly. "Me?! How about fuck you! Just because I don't get boners from other species it's my fault!?" I grabbed my head and swung around the room. "God damn it...it's really not fair."
Ross scratched the desk. "Well, you like her right?"
I walked over and slammed my forehead into the door. "Man, she's awesome. She saved my ass so many times, we hung out all those days, she's my best friend damn it!"
"Then why not try?" Ross' voice was low, like there wasn't any sort of problem.
"Ross, ponies aren't exactly my thing, I've said that right? I thought I did." I turned around and leaned my back against the door. "She asked me if I watched mares in porn and all I could think was, sounds like bestiality ." I rubbed my forehead. "So, you're saying I should just ignore it?"
Ross shrugged and got onto his haunches. "Well, yeah."
I pointed to him. "You gay?"
Ross cocked his head. "No."
"Okay, so let's say your best friend is gay, and they're asking--"
Ross shook his head. "I get it colt, I'm just saying you seem to want it too."
I rubbed my chest. "It's not that easy."
Ross hopped down from the table and sauntered off towards the door, his hooves dragging loudly against the carpet. "You could try." He bumped me with his flank and shoved me away from the door. "I mean, do you care about her more than you care about sex?"
I frowned hard. "How about you answer that first."
Ross laughed heavily. "That's why I'm single, you, you seem all bent out of shape over this." He walked out into the hall and peeked his head back in. "Kiss her, if you kiss her again...well, you know. But, if you can't bring yourself to do it again, at least you tried."
I shoved him out of the room. "Leave me alone you freak."
He tried to bite my hand. "You're the freak, psycho!" He flipped his tail at me and stormed off. "Pleb."
I shook my head and stretched my arm. "You're the pleb...asshole."
"How nice." A sharp voice came in from the door. "I have to say, eavesdropping is quite entertaining." The deer from the sex ed day walked in. He was clad in a simple cotton coat slung over his body. "York, hello again."
I rubbed my face and stepped away from him. "Deer guy, what the heck are you doing here?"
The deer walked to the front of the classroom and set a bag down on the teacher's desk. "Guest speaker for this class. Biology is my major and after the reproduction day went over so well I figured I'd stop by. Next stop is Vanhoover, but I remembered you and your mare."
I frowned hard. "She's not my mare."
The deer turned to face me. "Seems like you want her to be. And seems like she wants you too."
I sighed loudly. "It's not--"
"Like I said, I heard it all." He levitated a book out and flipped it open. "And, it's perfectly normal to not be attracted to opposite species. Seventy-eight percent of all individuals aren't, or are at least not willing to engage in sexual acts with different species." He closed his book and set it down. "We'll make it simple and round that up to eighty." He walked around the room, looking over the posters and projects hung around the room. "You'll just have to ask yourself if you're part of the majority or, mare willing, part of the twenty." He turned to me with a smile.
I rubbed my face. "You just keep a book of facts with you?"
The deer nodded. "I can start quoting a few if you want. Like how interspecies couples are more likely to produce offspring, or how the least common pairing is dragon and diamond dog. Or how humans have helped shape the hybrid landscape with a missing chromosome." He smiled and turned to the board. "Well, not missing I suppose. Your kind seems to have been doing fine without it. And...it would seem it's a trait of all things on earth."
I shook my head. "Something about magic, right?"
"Thuman's chromosome pair, has been directly linked to magic usage. And, studies have found it's rather peculiar and can be developed after birth. It's an amazing little thing Equestrian natives and adaptives have." He nodded and patted his book against the wall with his magic. "You probably have one by now. If you laid down with that filly that clung to your arm, gods willing, you'd have a foal within a year."
My stomach gurgled loudly. "That's fucked up man." I rubbed my belly, the sudden queasiness refusing to go away. "Don't say stuff like that."
"They'd have a high chance of retaining the mare's coat color and hair color. Eye color is a crap shoot, about sixty-forty in favor of the Equestrian native." He stuck his book into his antlers. "I have a son you know, strange, strange creature."
I nodded. "He some weird half human?"
"Faun? No. Drakovid." He frowned and looked towards the board. "Want to guess, or should I--"
"Dragon, I know biology, sort of...." I scratched my cheek. "Drako is the classification for dragons, right?"
He laughed and nodded. "Good, glad to see they're actually teaching you applicable words here." He looked up at the white board behind him. "She's almost my height already and she's only ten." He stretched his neck. "Her mother is...well, by no means the largest of the dragons, but about half as big as this room." He waved a marker around with his magic.
I felt a shiver shot down my spine. "And you--"
"It's actually why I'm in Equestria at all." He uncapped the marker and started drawing on the board. "She found me in the ice cap between Equestria and the Tsardom. Took me back to some cave in the mountains that border the north." He finished drawing his pony picture and turned to me. "Now, remember that stat I told you? Seventy-eight percent? It's dropping a lot faster since Saddle Arabia and the Griffon Empire declared peace. Deer are coming down from the Tsardom, humans are showing up, and there's finally a notable land for the thestrals." He smiled and drew a stick figure. "The world's about to mix up like a martini shaker, and to be honest I can't wait."
I stretched my neck, a satisfying crack coming as I reached the extent of my right turn. "And? What does that have to do with me?"
He chewed gently. "Nothing I suppose." He capped his marker and tossed it down against the overhang on the board. "She's in the gym, I saw her when I came in. And I think she'd be happy if you went and talked to her."
"You're telling me--"
The deer shook his head. "I'm telling you to settle your business, one way or the other. What you chose, up to you, but I think you, her, I think it'll all be better if you finish what you started."
I took a deep breath and walked over to the board. "You didn't draw it right." I reached up and smudged away the long tail he'd given the pony drawing. "There...better."
The deer nodded. "Go tell her."
"You know I--"
"I think you just made up your mind with that." He turned to me with a smile. "Just remember my lecture, okay?"
I climbed up the fire-escape back at Babs' apartment. The cold metal threatened to freeze my skin as I went. My music hummed softly in my ears, just above the metal groans and rattles as I climbed the thick runged stairs. "Stay--fit--I guess." I flopped up onto the correct floor, I took a deep breath, my backpack heavy, my body achy.
I walked up to Babs' window and tapped the glass. The burnt brown mare slinking over slowly. She looked at me and sighed silently through the glass window. She walked over and unlocked the window. "Hey York...."
I climbed into the warm room. "Hey Babs." I set my bag down and took my headphones off. "You alright?"
Babs sighed loudly and shook her head. "You know how it is...." She sulked over towards her couch, leaving me standing before the window with my bag by my leg. "Sorry about last week by the way."
I lowered my head. "Uh, don't apologize, it happens." I rubbed my arm. "So I saw that deer again, Oak or something like that." I closed the window and reached down into my bag. "He's an alright guy I guess."
Babs voice was soft and low. "Yeah? He seemed alright."
I pulled the box from my backpack and let my fingers dig into the waxy surface. "He is." I held my breath for a moment. "Babs, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot." Her voice was tired, burned out.
I took a deep breath and walked over to the back of the couch. "So, it wasn't just heat or something, was it?"
Babs let out a long groan. "Nope...."
I chewed on my lip. "How long?"
Babs looked back at me, eyes calm if a bit tired. "Feelings like this? About a month, probably sooner but it's not like everypony didn't think I was lespony."
I pushed my lips to the side for a moment. "To be fair, so did I, and you never corrected me."
Babs faced forward, her eyes locked on the off TV. "Well I thought it'd be weird if I wasn't. You seemed like, all comfy around me when you thought I was."
I rubbed the back of my neck with the box. "Well yeah, no pressure." I shrugged. "Always figured it was like ten times harder to lose a friend than someone trying to...somepony you're trying to date."
Babs shook her head. "Well, sorry if I lied."
I looked off towards the window with a guilty frown. "Christ, Babs." I rubbed my lips on my upper arm. "I--"
"Would you have stayed? If I told you, I mean." Babs swung around, hanging her hooves off the back of the couch. "Be honest."
I felt my mouth hang open. "Of course! Maybe I wouldn't have felt as comfortable or kept sneaking in through the window, but you're not about to get rid of me that easy!" I held my arms out. "Friends first, remember?"
Babs looked off towards the window. "What's in the box?"
I looked over, my outstretched hand sporting the offending box. "Uh.... Something." I let my arms fall, hiding the box behind the couch. She looked back up at me, eyes bright green, burning my own. My stomach grumbled loudly as I stood there under her gaze. "You thought I'd leave if you told me straight up?"
Babs sighed. "Well you almost did, I asked you if you wanted to go watch porn with me." She turned around and sat back down. "I thought that was pretty obvious."
I nodded. "Oh no, it was. Just laid it on a little thick is all."
Babs shrugged and reached a hoof back. "Well what was I gonna say?"
"York, do you like me?" I smirked softly. "It's not--"
Babs looked back at me, just to roll her eyes. "And you woulda' said something like, yeah . That's it."
I frowned hard. "I would have done that." I put the box on my head and looked around. "I just--" I brought the box down into view. "I bought this, I climbed--" I looked up at Babs, her head spun around to face me as she sat sideways on the couch. "Babs, do you like me?"
Babs snorted loudly and grimaced. "I think you know the--"
I reached up and slammed the box of chocolates against her lap. She jumped bolt stiff and held her hooves up as the rattling box settled. "I'm not good with emotional gooey stuff."
Babs looked back up to me. "York, what is--"
Do it York, do it or you're a bitch.
I took a deep breath and wrapped my fingers around the top of the couch. "Man, I don't even know at this point. I was gonna reach over, pull your head around and kiss you, but I'd fuck it up."
Babs jerked back slightly. "What?"
I nodded. "Yeah...never kissed a pony, never kissed a girl...." I shrugged. "Everyone thought I did, but nope." I held my breath to keep from talking to much. "Like you and the lesbian thing. People just assume stuff."
Babs' frown softened. "No, you were gonna kiss me?"
I sighed and rubbed my face. "Yeah, it was gonna be cool, like some movie stuff. I pull you around, tell you everything is gonna be alright, then I kiss you." I shook my head. "Then I threw a box at you."
Babs turned away, towards her TV. "So you're not going to?"
I licked my lips. "I just don't-" York you bitch, "-think now would really be-" York you're fucking this, "-the best time for-" I leaned forward against the couch. "-trying a new relationship-" I put my hands around Babs' chin, lifting her upwards to face the ceiling, "-I'm just not really--" I found myself face to face with her, staring down at her as she craned her head up to meet me. "I just...I don't.... I'm not really into ponies...." I shut myself up, the soft confused pout of the mare under me was going to kill me.
I kissed her, keeping my eyes shut as I sloppily pressed my lips against hers. A soft mmm filled the air as I leaned back upwards, still keeping my eyes locked with the stunned mare. "I just don't know if things are gonna work out-" I reached down, Babs turning her head slightly after I kissed her. "-I'm gonna really try, but I just don't-" I felt myself shake as I dove back down, stood off to the side of Babs as she turned to face me better. Each time seemed to be softer, kinder, and with a better, less clumsy angle. "-know if it's gonna work. I mean even now I feel like-" I kissed her again, keeping my eyes open as she closed hers. My heart melted and sat lightly in my chest. "-it's not how I'm supposed to be doing this." I stared down at her, the mare slightly red. "Like I said...never kissed a mare, girl, filly-- whatever." I looked off towards the window. "I don't know...I should go and try to figure--"
A hoof wrapped around the back of my head and pulled me down. I closed my eyes as something damp pressed against the part of my lips. I held Babs tight and leaned into it. She tasted like cheap cherry lip balm, and the strange damp sensation drew me out of reality. I didn't care, whatever bothered me about ponies either melted away or simply didn't apply to Babs. Either way I was happy, my body shooting out warmth all across my skin. I was lost in the little grunts and moans as I made out with Babs, sloppily running my tongue past her lips and across her own. I had no idea what I was doing, but it felt good, and I had to assume Babs had some semblance of an idea or was as outright lost as I was.
Babs shoved me back with a hoof. She licked her lips and turned away. "Uh.... Door locked?"
I felt my heart jump. "Uh, I'll make sure." I bolted over to the door and doublechecked the locks, adding a dead-bolt to the mix. "Okay, yeah--" I stopped dead as Babs slammed her hooves on either side of my chest. She had one of the cheap chocolates I'd bought between her lips and was staring up at me ever so slightly. Eyes burning, hard and unyeilding. "Duuh it ."
My brain gave up making sense and gave me a free card to be an idiot. I placed my hands on the back of her head, one holding her ear between my thumb and index as I reached down. The kiss was quick, or sudden rather. Babs and I fought for the treat for a few moments before it was lost to one of us and the greater idea took over.
I hugged her against me, cradling her head as I dropped down onto the floor. Babs laid across my stomach, idly laying on me as we made out. The taste of chocolate, the texture of her coat against my fingers, the rush of adrenaline as I licked at her and she to me.
Good job York, chocolates were a good idea.
Babs lips pushed me away for just long enough to catch a breath before diving back down on me and forcing her tongue into my mouth. Her new spot laying atop me was giving her far too much leverage for my liking. I squeezed her side and leaned away. "Babs...."
Babs' breath was tired and worn down. "Yeah?"
I looked back up at her. "This isn't a one time thing, is it?"
Babs drew a hiss and looked towards the window. "Uh... I thought you said you didn't like ponies--"
"But I like you." I stared at her like a fool. "And yeah, this is just about as weird as I thought it would be."
Babs frowned hard, turning to me with a strange sorrow in her eyes. "So you--"
"I like it." I smiled up at her. "And ponies aren't so bad I guess.... Or maybe you're just better than most ponies, or...I don't know." I smirked and looked away. "Babs...."
"Yeah?"
I took a long breath through my nose, the pony laying across my chest making it have to work hard against the weight. Pleasing expansion followed by the heavy fall as I breathed. "We're gonna take this city over."
Babs looked out the window. "Probably wait till summer."
I frowned gently. "Yeah, probably." I looked back up to her. "I guess I'll figure out if this is gonna work out or not by then."
Babs face twisted up hard. "Uh...you don't know if--"
I shook my head hard. "Oh no no no! I meant because-- No I meant-- not you! Me...like, still get squicky about ponies, and just...kissing in public. It's just--"
Babs popped down and pecked me on the lips. "You'll get over it."
I stared up at her. "Yeah...."
Babs smiled down at me. "You gonna stay the night?"
"Yeah...."
Babs kissed me again, gently. "You wanna get off the floor?"
I shook my head. "Nah...."
Babs smiled and laid her head up into my chin. "Alright."
Thing went quiet as I pet her back, her tail patting down against my leg. "Babs...."
"Hmm? "
"I'm glad you're not a lesbian. Would have been pretty hot-- I guess you're still pretty hot." I squeezed Babs sides, muscle and tight skin causing my fingers to tingle. "Babs, can I shut up now?"
Babs sighed heavily. "If ya want." Babs snuggled in against my torso. "Your hands are warm."
I stared up at her. I just rubbed her crown with my chin and laid back with the boxing mare on my chest. Soon enough we'd take the city over, but it all needed to start after this one warm night.
One warm night with a person I care about, a girl I liked, and a friend I couldn't risk to lose.
